


Pictures Of You

by turtlesparadise



Series: Pictures Of You universe [2]
Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Angst, Clack, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Romance, Yaoi, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:26:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 182,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtlesparadise/pseuds/turtlesparadise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Cloud finds himself floundering during his first week of classes at Shinra's military academy, and ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time, which leads to some big trouble. Zack sees potential in the young cadet, and decides to befriend him and mentor him while helping him through a crisis.</p><p> </p><p>This chapter (and some subsequent chapters) will begin with a first person POV narrative by Cloud, told in flashback form; then it'll switch to third person for the main narrative. Hope it doesn't get too confusing.</p><p>Usual disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, Square Enix does. I do not profit from this writing. Any lyrics quoted within are attributed to the artist.</p><p>Warnings for this chapter: attempted assault/bullying, some language, and a briefly mentioned OC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Friend

_I've been looking so long, at my pictures of you_  
 _That I almost believe that they're real_  
 _I've been living so long, with my pictures of you_  
 _That I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel_

_There was nothing in the world that I ever_  
 _wanted more_  
 _Than to feel you deep in my heart_  
 _There was nothing in the world that I ever_  
 _wanted more_  
 _Than to never feel the breaking apart_  
 _Of my pictures of you_

"Pictures of You" - The Cure

* * *

_You always had the best smile. It was a rare kind of smile - one that was actually sincere. Infectious, really, because it came straight from your heart. Unlike some of the kids I grew up with in Nibelheim, who pretended to be my friends, most of whom turned on me as we grew older._

_But not you, Zack. You never pretended with me, and you never turned on me…you were always so real, from the moment we met. So real that I can still hear your laughter now, just by looking at this photograph in my hand. It's a picture of us both, taken shortly after we met. Angeal took the picture. You had your arm thrown around my shoulders like we'd been best friends forever, even though we'd only met the previous week - my first week at the academy. And me…that was the first time I smiled, really smiled, since I'd arrived in Midgar._

_And none of it was fake – you really did want to be my friend, from the very beginning. Gaia knows why, when I was such a pain in the ass to you, and all you ever did was to show me kindness and friendship. But it was real…you were real, through and through. With you, Zack, what people saw was exactly what they got. And I got the world handed to me when I met you._

_All that's left of you is this small shoebox full of faded photographs...full of memories. Some of the photos here are dusty, and some of them fading or dog-eared. But there's not a single one of them that I don't cherish; I'll keep them forever. Hell, I may even have this little box buried with me when I die. It's all I have left of you. There are a few notes in here, too. I know neither one of us was big on love letters, but you spoke volumes with just a few words._

_The first note I got from you, was one you left for me in my mailbox, after my disastrous first week at Shinra's military academy. I was so embarrassed over my poor performance that week; I was such a runt next to all of the other kids. When I got your note saying that you wanted to see me after my swordsmanship class, I thought I was in trouble or something. Little did I know what that note would lead to. If only I could go back in time; if only I could do that, maybe you'd still be here._

_Maybe._

* * *

The first week of Cloud's military training had come to an end, and to say it had gone badly would have been a gross understatement. Cloud was floundering in all of his classes, save for one - swordsmanship. Cloud felt oddly at home with a sword in his hand, and had impressed his instructors with what seemed to be a natural skill, that came easily to the young cadet.

Hand-to-hand combat was a joke; materia handling and spell casting, Cloud injured himself more often than not, when he misdirected the spells onto himself, rather than the practice dummy. After that, Cloud was absolutely petrified to attend the bomb-making seminar being taught by Reno and Rude, that he decided at the last minute to skip out of it. And naturally, later that same day, he was called into General Sephiroth's office for his truancy. Cloud's heart dropped down to his stomach when he received the summons to report immediately to the general's office.

"Cadet...Strife, is it?" Sephiroth said coolly, looking over Cloud's folder of school records. Transcripts from his school in Nibelheim were in the folder, along with notes and observations from his current instructors at the academy. "Have a seat, please," Sephiroth said, gesturing to the seat in front of his desk, without looking up. Every last nerve of Cloud's was on edge, as he shakily took his seat without uttering a word. He sat there, shifting uneasily in his seat for another minute or so, while Sephiroth continued reading his file.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Cloud, Sephiroth closed the file and slid it to the right side of his desk calendar. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his desk, and folding his hands as he pressed his index fingers to the bridge of his nose before speaking. "Cadet Strife," he said, finally making eye contact with Cloud as he lowered his hands from his face. Cloud was taken aback by Sephiroth's unnaturally bright green eyes; they practically glowed. He'd just learned, as did the other cadets during student orientation, that "Mako eyes" - brightly hued shades ranging from green to violet, to blue - were a mark of SOLDIER, a result of Mako injections that were required of any candidate for SOLDIER. But Cloud hadn't expected eyes like this, so cold. So...alien. It unnerved him, and he had trouble maintaining eye contact with Sephiroth as a result; but he somehow knew if he looked away from Sephiroth or did anything to break eye contact, that the general would view it as a sign of weakness. And Cloud figured he was in enough trouble already for skipping a mandatory training seminar, during the first week of classes, no less.

"Cadet Cloud Strife," Sephiroth repeated, as he read the name off of the file folder. "First, I want to welcome you to the military academy. The first week is always the most difficult," he said, far more kind and understanding than Cloud had expected him to be. Cloud slowly let out the breath he'd been holding, not even realizing he _had_ been holding his breath.

"However," Sephiroth went on, knitting his brows together. "Truancy is a serious offense, one which we do not take lightly here at the academy. Granted, this was a seminar you failed to attend and not an actual class - but, your attendance at the seminar was mandatory, Cloud. I cannot let this go unaddressed."

"Sir," Cloud began, plucking up as much courage as he could muster. "I have no good excuse for not attending, I will be perfectly honest. I don't know why I did it." _I know damned well why I did it...one, I was afraid I might actually hurt myself - or someone else. Two, I'm sick of everyone picking on me because of my size, and I just wanted to hide from all of those assholes_ , Cloud thought. _But I'm not about to admit all of that to the general._

"Well, I admire your forthrightness, Cloud," Sephiroth replied, a hint of a smile working the corners of his mouth. "However, you're still going to have to serve detention. You'll be reporting to the gym today at three o'clock, and you will be cleaning out the men's locker rooms, under the supervision of First Class SOLDIERS Zack Fair and Angeal Hewley. Report directly to them, and they'll show you where the cleaning supplies are, and get you started."

Before he could stop himself, Cloud made a face, wrinkling up his nose in displeasure. Sephiroth noticed this, and grinned. "I know it's not a pleasant task, Cloud, but that's what detention is all about. Hopefully this will make you think twice about skipping again."

"I'm sure it will, sir," Cloud replied. "I don't think it'll be the worst thing I've ever had to clean...back in Nibelheim, my job was mucking out horse stalls." He grimaced, recalling his last summer job as a stable hand. Sephiroth laughed out loud, displaying a set of brilliant white teeth. "I wouldn't be so sure about that, Cloud," he said, chuckling. "Young men can be very untidy. You're dismissed for now...good luck with your task, and hopefully I won't hear any reports of truancy again."

"No sir, you won't," Cloud assured him. He stood up and saluted Sephiroth before taking his leave of him. "Thank you, sir." Sephiroth waved absently at him as he turned his attention back to the stack of field reports on his desk. "Good luck, Strife," he repeated. "Please close the door on your way out." Cloud nodded and silently shut the door behind him as he exited, breathing a sigh of relief as he stood out in the hallway. "That could have gone a lot worse," he muttered. He looked at his watch; it was only two o'clock. "I should have plenty of time to grab some lunch...maybe I'll check my mail if I have time, too," he said to himself.

* * *

The cafeteria was nearly vacant at this hour, and that was just the way Cloud liked it. Dining services had ended already, and would not resume again until five o'clock for supper, so hot lunches weren't available. Cloud didn't care. He grabbed a cold turkey wrap from the to-go case, along with an iced tea, and a Banora apple. Cloud paid for his purchases, and carried his tray over to a vacant table.

 _All alone. Better that way_ , Cloud thought, as he chewed his sandwich. He'd tried to make friends at the academy, but at heart he was a bit of a loner. And, he was okay with that - most of the time. It was when some of the other cadets in his class - bullies, really - turned on him and taunted him, that Cloud dearly wished he had just one close friend. Just one. Someone to back him up, someone he could vent to when things got rough. He was all of seventeen, and had reached his full height of five feet, seven inches. Back in Nibelheim, Cloud was considered to be average height. But here in Midgar, at the academy, it was a different story. Most of the other boys his age were taller than him. Some towered over him by half a foot or more. It didn't help that he was skinny as well.

And his hair. That tower of blond spikes that he could never control, no matter how hard he tried - so he finally just gave up trying. That gave the others more ammo with which to tease Cloud. Bad enough being a runt; Cloud was a runt who _stood out._ He was dubbed "Short Haystack" on the first day of classes by Fredo, a hulking, well-muscled boy just about to turn seventeen, who looked more like he was in his twenties. Cloud's unfortunate nickname of "Short Haystack" was then abbreviated to "Short Stack," which Fredo apparently thought was quite clever.

Fredo was a bully, no doubt due to his size; he was the biggest boy his age on campus, and was bigger than many of the adults, instructors included. The boy was a good six foot four, and weighed over two-hundred and fifty pounds. His closely shorn head, nearly bald, really, added to his threatening appearance, along with beady, black, close-set eyes, that reminded Cloud somewhat of a beetle.

"Hey, Short Stack!" Fredo had crowed during breakfast that morning in the cafeteria. Cloud had been sitting on the far end of a dining table in the back of the cafeteria when Fredo and his minions approached. "You enjoying that short stack there, Short Stack?" he guffawed.

Then, without warning, Fredo shoved Cloud's face down into his plate, full of pancakes soaked with maple syrup. Cloud swatted Fredo's hands off of him and stood up so quickly, he knocked over his chair. He wanted to cry, he really did, but bit down on his lip so hard to fight back the tears, that his lip began to bleed. Apparently Fredo noticed this, and called attention to it.

"Look, guys," he said to the boys surrounding him, sneering at Cloud. "Short stack's trying not to cry. Ha ha ha!"

The urge to cry mercifully faded quickly as the anger rose up in Cloud, and he gathered his tray and his backpack, wanting to leave. "Go fuck yourself, Fredo," he snapped. "Overgrown asshole."

"What?" Fredo returned, surprised that Cloud finally worked up the nerve spoke back to him. Usually the kid just sat there and took the abuse without saying a word, which only encouraged Fredo to keep pushing. "Excuse me?" Fredo said, raising a stubbly eyebrow. "You want to say that louder?"

"No," Cloud had said stubbornly, sticking out his chin. "If you didn't catch it the first time, that's not my fucking problem. You're wasting my time, I'm going to class." Cloud couldn't believe how confident his voice seemed to sound; it belied what he felt on the inside, which was scared out of his wits. _He's going to beat the shit out of me later, I bet,_ Cloud fretted, as he carried his tray over to the trash bin. _Or, he'll sic his stupid friends on me. I'd better watch my ass._

* * *

It was a losing battle, no matter how Cloud looked at it, no matter how much he tried to stay positive. _If only I could talk to someone about this_ , Cloud fretted. _And I don't mean the school shrink, either._ He sighed heavily, finished eating his apple, and carried his tray over to the waste bin, dumping the contents into it, and placed his tray in the stack on top of the bin.

He checked his watch again. "Two thirty," he said to himself. "I guess I'll check my mail, and head over to the gym." Cloud headed down the corridor toward the campus center, where the student union was located; the mailroom containing student's mailboxes was adjacent to the lounge.

Cloud's thoughts raced, and he felt his nerves starting to get the best of him, thinking about the two SOLDIERS who would be overseeing his detention. Commander Hewley had intimidated him during orientation just by his sheer size. Really, he'd given Cloud no reason to fear him; he'd seemed kind enough, but in Cloud's experience, big guys were usually bullies. Just like Fredo. Cloud prayed that wouldn't be the case with Angeal. As for Zack, Cloud didn't know much about him either, other than the fact that he'd just been promoted to SOLDIER, first class, and this would be his first semester instructing students at the military academy.

Zack's enthusiasm was obvious and infectious, however. He'd put the students at ease during orientation, and he'd also assisted Cloud's swordsmanship instructor during that morning's class, helping run the students through practice drills. Cloud hadn't gotten a chance to work directly with Zack, as the class was divided into two groups, and he ended up in his instructor's group, not Zack's. But Cloud observed Zack a few times during his drills, where he realized that Zack really knew his way around a sword. _I hope I'm as good as Zack is, someday_ , Cloud had thought.

Sighing, Cloud dialed the combination for the lock on his mailbox, and reached inside, withdrawing a handful of mail. It was the usual junk he'd been getting since arriving on campus, and he quickly leafed through the small pile. Magazine offers, credit card offers, a hastily made flyer advertising "Midgar's Battle of the Bands." He glanced at it, amused, wondering if any of the bands would even be worth the cover charge of five gil. Cloud glanced into his mailbox one last time to make sure he hadn't missed anything. A scrap of paper caught his eye - he reached in and took it out, unfolding it. It was a lined piece of paper, hastily torn from a spiral notebook. Cloud unfolded it, and his eye immediately went to the signature line before he read the body of the note.

 _It's from Commander Fair_ , Cloud realized, inwardly groaning. _Gods, what now?_ he wondered. _What am I in trouble for now?_ He sighed and continued reading the note.

_Hi Cloud,_

_I wanted to talk to you about your performance in your swordsmanship class this morning. Please stop by my office after class, or send me an email and we can set up a time to meet. You can find my email address in the campus directory. I'll talk to you soon._

_Yours,_

_Zack Fair_

"Great," Cloud muttered to himself as he folded the note up into a ball, and shoved it into his pants pocket. "Guess I fucked that up too. And I thought that was the one class I actually did well in this week. Damn it! I'll never get into SOLDIER. Now I am really dreading going to detention and seeing Zack and Commander Hewley. They must think I'm a joke." Cloud kicked the door angrily on his way out, and set off to the gym. "Not looking forward to this."

* * *

Zack and Angeal were sparring with each other in the gym, and barely noticed when Cloud arrived, had it not been for Angeal getting Zack in a headlock. As Angeal spun him around, Zack noticed Cloud standing there, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Off, Angeal!" Zack pleaded, swatting at the larger man's massive, muscled arms. "Cadet Strife is here."

Angeal released Zack and stood up, facing Cloud, as he cleared his throat. "Cadet Strife," Angeal said in a gruff tone. There was a glint of humor in his eyes that belied his stern voice. "Zack and I will get you set up here. I understand you skipped a very important seminar, and that's why you're serving detention with us today?"

Cloud swallowed audibly as he looked up at Angeal, who towered over him. _This guy's even bigger than Fredo,_ Cloud thought in despair. Angeal had to be at least six and a half feet tall, if not more, in Cloud's estimation. Cloud felt the blood drain from his face, and prayed that Angeal wouldn't beat the hell out of him. _Would he, though?_ Cloud decided he wouldn't put it past him, just by looking at him.

"Don't scare the kid, Angeal," Zack said kindly, flashing a brilliant smile. Cloud couldn't help but smile back; there was something about Zack that just instantly put him at ease, even though he was still feeling a bit scared and intimidated by Commander Hewley. "You remember your first week, don't you Ang? First week's always the worst."

"My first week of academy was...quite a while ago," Angeal replied, smiling. "Don't worry, Cloud," Angeal told the cadet, clapping a massive hand on his small shoulder, causing him to flinch. "Detention's not going to be pleasant, but if nothing else, it'll keep you from trying to skip out again, I'm sure."

"He just hasn't learned how to skip without getting _caught_ ," Zack interjected, winking at Cloud. "Don't worry, Cloud, that comes with time. And practice, just like anything else." Angeal raised a wary eyebrow at Zack. "I hardly think you should be telling him that, Zack," Angeal admonished.

Zack snorted. "Angeal, you worry too much," he said dismissively, grinning. "Cloud, don't be so nervous, man! It's not like we bite, or anything." Cloud swallowed again, unable to speak, as Zack came over and stood in front of him. _Say something, you idiot! Answer him!_ Cloud told himself. He couldn't get his mouth to work, for some reason; it was as if he'd been rendered mute the moment he entered the room.

"Yes," Cloud finally managed to utter, his voice coming out in an embarrassing squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Sir? I, uh, got your note, about swordsmanship class. I hope I'm not in trouble."

Zack smiled even wider, if such a thing was possible. Cloud suddenly realized the color of Zack's eyes - a shade somewhere in between periwinkle and lavender. _They're beautiful_ , Cloud thought, his breath hitching in his throat. _I've never seen a color quite like that..._ He shook his head quickly, realizing that Zack was addressing him directly.

"You're not in trouble, Cloud," Zack assured him. "Quite the contrary. I know we didn't work directly with each other today, but I was watching you. I was so impressed with your sword skills that I wanted to talk to you about it - see if you'd be interested in some one-on-one training sessions with me."

Cloud's face immediately flushed a deep crimson. "S-sure," he stammered, disbelieving. This was too good to be true, Cloud thought, but he wasn't about to turn Zack's offer down. "Really?" he asked shyly. "You...thought I was good?"

Zack nodded. "You remind me of _me_ a little bit," he told Cloud. "And not just because of the hair," Zack said, laughing and pointing at his own mane of black spikes. Cloud grinned, grateful that Zack was helping to put him at ease. "Yeah," Cloud murmured. "I get a lot of abuse for that. I can't do anything with it, though!"

"Neither can I," Zack admitted, grinning. "But hey, I think we both look good! This way to the cleaning supplies, Cloud," Zack said, leading Cloud toward the janitor's closet. "Angeal, I'll get Cloud set up...if you get bored, you can do some of my reports along with your own."

"Fabulous," Angeal muttered, smiling at Zack. "I'll be in the office. Have fun, Cloud," he told the cadet, as he waved and left, heading toward the small office at the back of the gym.

"Gym's pretty dead this time of day, in the midafternoon," Zack remarked over his shoulder to Cloud. "Which is probably why Sephiroth thought this would be a good task for detention purposes a few years back."

"I suppose it's effective, then," Cloud commented dryly.

Zack chuckled. "Oh, you'd be surprised, Cloud. Some people are too stupid to live, and keep doing the same thing over and over, landing them in detention repeatedly. Including yours truly."

"You?" Cloud said, surprised. He gazed up at Zack, and tried to imagine him getting caught cutting class. It was hard to imagine; Zack was in his twenties, and was pretty tall himself, though nowhere near as tall and brawny as Angeal. Cloud knew Zack had to be well over six feet tall.

 _And, he's gorgeous_ , Cloud thought dreamily, as he stared into Zack's eyes for a brief moment. He snapped back to reality as soon as the thought crossed his mind. _No...I can't think like that...I can't have a crush on one of the instructors! Gods, could I be any more pathetic?_

Zack was nodding, answering Cloud. "Yeah, me," he told Cloud. "I blew off class all the time. And it wasn't too long ago that I was in your position, cleaning out the locker room as punishment," Zack chuckled. "Here's everything you'll need, Cloud. Mops, buckets, cleaning supplies, paper towels...I need you to clean out the showers, and mop the floor in the locker room, okay?"

"Okay," Cloud grumbled. He smiled shyly at Zack. "I guess I deserve it, though."

Zack laughed. "Maybe. Although I probably would have done the same thing as you," he said, grinning. "Making bombs never interested me. I prefer fighting with a sword, always have." He clapped a hand on Cloud's shoulder in a friendly fashion. "Hey, listen. I'll be in the office back there with Angeal if you need anything. But please come see me when you're done, I'd really like to talk to you about the sword lessons, okay?"

Cloud nodded as he took up the mop in his hand. "I will. Thank you, sir."

Zack waved his hand dismissively. "It's Zack," he told Cloud softly. "Please...just call me Zack."

"Okay. Thanks, Zack," Cloud replied, smiling.

 _A real smile from Cloud_ , Zack thought as he left. _What a beautiful thing to see._ He let out a low whistle as he returned to the office. "Shit," he said to himself. "I'm crushing on a student, aren't I. That's not good."

Angeal looked up from his stack of reports and regarded Zack curiously. "What's not good?"

Zack's face reddened; he hadn't realized he'd been talking to himself. "Uh, nothing, Angeal," he replied. "Nothing at all. Cloud's good to go on the locker rooms, he's started already."

"Ah," Angeal replied, studying Zack intently. Something was up with him, and Angeal couldn't put his finger on it. He decided to let it go - for now. "Well, good. Back to work for us now, too," he said, shoving a pile of reports at Zack.

"Damn it," Zack muttered, scrunching his eyebrows as he scanned the pile of paperwork. "This is not my favorite part of the job."

Angeal laughed. "It's not mine, either."

* * *

Cleaning the locker room was definitely not fun, but Cloud decided it still was less of a punishment than cleaning out horse stalls. He began by mopping the floors, intending to clean the showers after the floor was done. After a few minutes of mopping, Cloud thought he heard a noise, coming from the shower at the far end of the locker room. Someone...was groaning in pain? Or, talking to themselves. He knew for sure he wasn't alone in the locker room, though, like he thought he was.

He decided not to investigate; surely whoever it was wanted their privacy, if they were taking a shower. Cloud decided to leave well enough alone and continued mopping the floor. Obviously, he would now have to wait until later until whoever was in there, was finished.

Cloud's thoughts turned back to Zack, as he mindlessly mopped the tiled floor of the locker room. Zack acted more like a friend to Cloud - an equal, rather than an instructor. It took Cloud by surprise, and made him feel a bit uneasy. Yet, he was flattered that someone like Zack was taking an interest in his sword skills. He decided he would apply himself wholeheartedly to whatever instruction Zack had to offer him - swordsmanship was one area, perhaps the only area, where Cloud felt confident in his abilities.

His mind continued drifting as he daydreamed and imagined Zack teaching him different techniques; Cloud pictured Zack standing behind him, showing him different stances, Zack's body pressed tightly against the back of his own...

Cloud's mind went just a bit further in this fantasy, and he felt his groin harden; the mop fell from his hands with a clatter as his mind wandered, hitting the row of lockers and making a deafening noise. _Gods, I am such an idiot_ , Cloud chastised himself. _I shouldn't be thinking about Zack like that!_ He bent over to take the mop up again, and barely heard the shower curtain open. As he stood back up, mop in hand, Cloud raised his head and came face to face with an angry looking Fredo, whose enormous, hulking form was clad only in a bath towel - the apparent sole occupant of the shower.

"You little shit," Fredo grunted, grabbing Cloud around the throat with one hand. He held him up against the locker, throttling him. "You were spying on me!" he said accusingly.

"I - didn't!" Cloud managed to get out, coughing and gasping. Fredo backed away, releasing his grip. "Don't lie, Short Stack," he said angrily. Cloud sank to the floor, clutching his throat, scrambling backwards as Fredo advanced menacingly.

"I - it's _detention_ , Fredo! They made me mop up in here because I skipped that seminar! I wasn't spying, I swear!" Cloud flinched as he heard how pathetic and scared he sounded; he couldn't help but _be_ scared though. Fredo was a bully for sure, but Cloud had never seen him _this_ angry before.

"I don't care," Fredo growled. He reached down and grabbed Cloud forcefully by the hair. "Ow!" Cloud cried out, as he was dragged by his hair, back toward the row of lockers. "Shut up!" Fredo snapped. "Gonna teach you a lesson for eavesdropping on me, Short Stack."

"I wasn't - " Cloud began, but was cut off as Fredo pulled Cloud's head back and began slamming his skull into the locker. "Let go of me!" Cloud pleaded, trying to elbow Fredo in the gut and extricate himself, but the brute easily dodged Cloud's jabs. He yanked Cloud up by the hair, forcing him to stand, then grabbed him around the collar and slammed the back of his head into the locker. Fredo punched him in the stomach, knocking the air out of him, and then began throwing punches at Cloud's face. Cloud's head lolled around like a tether ball as the punches landed, and he began to see stars. "Please...please stop..." he whimpered.

"No," Fredo replied, grunting, as he continued to pummel Cloud. "I know you heard me in there, asshole. What, did you get off listening to me?"

"I don't know...what...you're talking about, Fredo," Cloud said pleadingly.

"Yeah you do," Fredo murmured, shoving a hand down the front of Cloud's pants. "You _know_ , all right. You're fucking hard already, you sick piece of shit. Turned you on that much, listening to me in there, huh? Just so you know, I don't swing that way, ya faggot."

Cloud felt his blood boil at the last remark; he was scared, but he was also becoming very angry. He knew he didn't deserve this – nobody did. _Like I didn't get enough of being called that name, growing up in Nibelheim,_ Cloud thought grimly. "If that's the case," Cloud hissed, trying to stare at Fredo through bloodied eyelids that were threatening to swell shut, "then get your fucking hand out of my pants."

"What in the hell is going on here?" came a booming voice from the doorway. Fredo froze, one hand still shoved down in Cloud's pants, and his other fist poised and ready to hit Cloud again. He turned his head and saw Angeal and Zack standing there, glaring at him. Zack's eyes blazed violet with anger as he walked toward Cloud. "Get off of him _now_ ," Zack told him. "Cloud, you okay?" Zack asked, concerned. He tilted Cloud's chin up as he examined the damage. The cadet's face was pretty well bloodied and pummeled; the injuries would take a good week or more to heal, Zack estimated.

Zack looked over at Fredo, who stood there gaping stupidly, still in his towel; his gaze flitting back and forth nervously from Angeal to Zack. "Get him out of here, Angeal, before I do something regrettable to him," Zack said in a low voice. Angeal nodded, and without a word, grabbed Fredo by his meaty arm.

"My clothes - " Fredo pleaded. "I need to get my clothes out of my gym locker!"

"That is not my concern," Angeal said coldly. "Perhaps you'll think better of it next time you decide to pick on someone half your size."

"He's a fucking little runt," Fredo scoffed. "He don't belong here."

"Get him out of here _now_ , Angeal!" Zack shouted angrily, surprising both Angeal and himself. "Please. I need to get Cloud to the infirmary. Fredo, you have a lot to answer for. Maybe it's you who doesn't belong here," he snapped. Fredo visibly blanched, but remained silent for now, just nodding. "Come on," Angeal said firmly, gripping Fredo by the arm, and steering him out the door.

"He's gone now, Cloud," Zack said softly. He touched his fingers to Cloud's bloodied and torn cheek. "He's gone. I won't let him hurt you again."

"I don't want your protection," Cloud snapped. "I'm withdrawing from the academy and I'm going back to Nibelheim. Of course, they hate me there too," he concluded bitterly. "I've fucking had it with everyone, and everything."

Zack felt his hackles rise, as his anger toward Fredo began to boil over. _If anyone, Fredo's the one who should leave the academy, not Cloud_ , he thought furiously.

"No, Cloud," Zack said firmly. "You're _not_ withdrawing, not account of one bully. Come on. You're just upset. And that's understandable, given that you were just attacked. I'm taking you to the infirmary." Cloud nodded in defeat, and allowed Zack to help him out of the locker room. Zack draped Cloud's arm over his shoulders as he assisted him in the short walk to the infirmary, just down the hallway from the gym.

"He's right, you know," Cloud muttered. "I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere."

"I don't want to hear that from you, Cloud," Zack said quietly. He barely knew the skinny blond cadet, but he felt inexplicably drawn toward him; some sort of protective instinct was kicking in, perhaps, but there was something else there, something else as yet indefinable to Zack. Cloud stumbled as he walked, and Zack stopped quickly, pulling Cloud back up. As Zack bent his head down, Cloud's blond spikes of hair brushed by his nose, and Zack inhaled his scent. It stirred something in Zack's brain…and his groin.

 _Stop it_ , Zack told himself, feeling chagrined by the lustful thoughts he was harboring toward Cloud. _He's hurting enough already, don't do anything stupid. Just be his friend...he obviously **needs** a friend_. "I don't want to hear about you quitting the academy, Cloud," Zack said again. "You're a natural with a sword for one thing, did you know that?" he said lightly, hoping to change the subject. "I was watching you today, you really held your own," Zack offered encouragingly.

"Doesn't matter," Cloud grumbled. "I'm small. I will _always_ be small."

" _That's_ the thing that doesn't matter, Cloud," Zack insisted. "Sure, maybe you're not as tall as some of the other kids. But that doesn't mean you won't fill out eventually. I can help you train, Cloud."

"Why, Zack?" Cloud asked. They'd come to a stop at the infirmary, and Zack opened the door for Cloud, holding it open. "Why do you want to help me?" he asked, staring up at Zack with wide blue eyes.

 _Because I like you, Cloud_. Zack's face reddened as he formed his answer. "Because...because I see potential in you, Cloud." _Not a complete lie. But I'm not about to tell him it's also because I think he's cute._ "And, ah...I want to be your friend."

"No you don't," Cloud retorted stubbornly. _Gods, he's a tough nut to crack_ , Zack thought, shaking his head as he stared at Cloud, sighing.

"Ma'am?" Zack called out to the nurse on the desk. She lifted her head up and gasped as she saw Zack ushering in a bloody, beat-up Cloud. "He's been hurt."

"Obviously!" the nurse replied, rushing over. "Gods, Zack. Who did this?"

"Another student," Zack replied. "He's being disciplined." The nurse guided Cloud over to a cot in the back. "Lie down here," she said soothingly. "I'm going to check your vital signs, okay?" Cloud nodded, and closed his eyes. As he opened them again, he looked up to see Zack sitting by his side, looking worried.

"You can go now, Zack," Cloud said rudely. Zack had been nothing but kind to him, but Cloud felt this need to push him away, he was so embarrassed by his inability to defend himself against his attacker. True, Fredo outweighed him by at least a hundred pounds, and was taller than him by nearly a foot.

It seemed to Cloud that Zack wanted to protect him - which, deep down, Cloud had to admit was a bit flattering. But the last thing Cloud had wanted was to be someone who needed protection; someone who couldn't defend themself. "I don't need you here." Cloud winced at how utterly impolite he sounded; he didn't mean to be so harsh with Zack. _He doesn't deserve this sort of treatment from me_ , Cloud thought. _But I can't have him doing this. I can't have him defending me like I'm some helpless little princess._

"You were under my watch when this happened," Zack said stubbornly. "So whether you like it or not, I'm staying. You're _my_ responsibility." He was starting to get angry with Cloud for rebuffing him. _Damn, this kid has a huge chip on his shoulder. Bigger than the one I used to have._

"Oh," Cloud murmured. "Obligation, then. I get it." He scrunched his eyes, as if trying to recall something. "Wait. You said you wanted to be my friend. Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"I just do, Cloud," Zack replied. _Just say it._ "Look. I like you. You've got spunk, and I like that. I'd like to get to know you better." He smiled indulgently at Cloud. "And...I like your hair," he said jokingly.

Cloud snorted at this. "Ow," he said, wincing. "Hurts when I laugh."

"They'll fix you up here, Cloud," Zack remarked, as the nurse returned with a thermometer, blood pressure cuff, and stethoscope. "From what I hear, you can get pretty good medical care here," he commented, flashing a smile at the nurse.

The nurse giggled self-consciously. "Well, thank you, Zack," she replied, blushing. "What's your name, son?" she asked Cloud softly.

"Cloud, ma'am," he replied. "Cloud Strife."

"That's a lovely name," she said. "Now, I need to place this under your tongue..." Cloud dutifully opened his mouth so the nurse could place the thermometer. She then checked the rest of his vital signs, flashing a light in his eyes, and took his pulse. The thermometer beeped, and the nurse removed it. "Normal. 98.6."

"Hey, you're normal, Cloud," Zack joked. "See? I told you."

"And I told you it hurts when I laugh," Cloud murmured, a hint of a smile on his face. "So stop making stupid jokes." The nurse took Cloud's blood pressure, and frowned as she studied the reading. "It's a bit high," she murmured. "I'm going to take it again." Zack smiled down at Cloud, tenderly. It jarred Cloud, and he felt that smile of Zack's down to his very soul. It was radiant. _Zack_ was radiant. And Cloud was certain none of this was doing very good things for his blood pressure, having Zack staring at him like that.

 _Oh gods_ , Cloud thought, realization hitting him like a brickbat over the head. _Does...Zack like me? No, it's not possible...I'm just a kid, and I mean...look at him! Why would someone like him, be interested in someone like me?_

"It's high again," the nurse muttered, shaking her head. "I just don't get it."

"It's his fault," Cloud blurted, his heart thudding in his chest. It _was_ Zack's fault - indirectly, anyway, Cloud was sure of it.

"Is Zack making you nervous?" the nurse asked Cloud, concerned. "I can ask him to leave the room - " Zack nodded, already getting up from his seat.

"No, don't," Cloud interrupted. "Don't make him leave. I - didn't mean it like that. Can you just take it again later, ma'am? I...might be upset still. From getting beat up and all that."

"I'll give it a few minutes, then," the nurse replied. "You might need a butterfly bandage on some of those cuts. I'll go to get them now." Cloud nodded as the nurse left the room.

"I'm sorry, Zack," Cloud whispered. "I didn't mean to be such an asshole to you, I really didn't. I'm just - "

"I get it Cloud, totally," Zack interrupted in a low voice. He smiled at Cloud, and touched his face. "Fredo hurt more than your face...he hurt your pride. And that's huge, I know."

"Yeah. You nailed it, Zack," Cloud said. "That's exactly it. I just…feel embarrassed. That I couldn't defend myself."

"Don't be embarrassed, Cloud," Zack reassured him. "Like I told you, I can train you. Not only about sword tactics, but defensive fighting tactics as well. I want to help you succeed, Cloud…you have great potential, even if you don't realize it yourself just yet."

Cloud nodded, smiling at Zack. He felt a sudden rush of gratitude toward the man for befriending him as he'd done. _How much more would this suck - more than it already does_ , Cloud pondered, _if Zack wasn't here with me?_ Impulsively, Cloud reached over for Zack's hand to give it a friendly squeeze. "Thank you," he whispered gratefully. The touch was positively electric, and caught both of them by surprise. Zack's eyes widened as their hands touched. Cloud felt it, as if it was a current passing through both of them. He wondered if Zack felt it too.

"Cloud," Zack whispered. He felt his pulse increasing; there was no denying it now, that there was some sort of attraction between the both of them, as they stared at each other without saying another word.

The nurse came back into the room with some bandages, along with a clipboard that had some forms attached to it. She handed the clipboard over to Zack. "Maybe you can get this started, while I tend to the patient's wounds. It's just one of those accident report forms - "

"Oh, I'm all too familiar with those," Zack replied, smirking as he took the forms from the nurse. "Sure, I can help you with these. Cloud, I'll just have to take a statement from you, that sort of thing."

Cloud sighed tiredly. "Okay," he said reluctantly. "If we have to."

"Yeah, we have to," Zack said. "Unfortunately."

"I'd like to take his pressure again, if you don't mind waiting a minute before starting that," the nurse interrupted.

"Sure thing," Zack replied easily. He sat back and began scanning the questions on the sheet - his eye froze when he got to question number two.

 _Was the complainant sexually assaulted?_ Had he been? Zack thought back to when he and Angeal entered the room, what had Fredo been doing? He had Cloud pressed up against the locker... Suddenly, Zack heard Cloud's voice echoing in his head. " _Get your hand out of my fucking pants_." Zack clenched his jaw angrily. Something _had_ happened, but what? How far had Fredo gone?

"Pressure's fine now," the nurse announced, smiling. "Guess you did need to relax a bit." Cloud nodded, and winced as the nurse got out some cotton pads and antiseptic solution. "I'm sorry, but it will sting a bit," she said apologetically, warning him.

"I know it will," Cloud said resignedly. "It's okay."

"Cloud," Zack began hesitantly. "I need your take on what happened in there, how it started and everything."

"Well," Cloud stammered, his face reddening. "Fredo...accused me of spying on him. Said I was...eavesdropping on him in the shower."

"Okay," Zack said, jotting it all down. "You told him you were serving detention, right?"

Cloud nodded his head. "Right," he said. "I tried explaining that to him, but he, ah...didn't want to hear it. I think he was, ah...well, you know...touching himself in the shower. But I honestly didn't know he was doing that in there!" Cloud exclaimed. "I mean…I heard someone in there, but I had no idea who it was, or what they were doing. And I didn't care…I just wanted to finish the job I had to do, you know?"

"I believe you, Cloud," Zack replied. "It's okay. So...um, what happened next?"

"Well, he began slamming my head into the locker," Cloud said. "Ow!" he exclaimed, as his wounds were doused with antiseptic.

"Sorry about that, I really am," the nurse apologized, murmuring.

"It's okay," Cloud replied. He turned his head back toward Zack, and continued his narrative. "Then he...slammed the back of my head into the locker. And then...then he..." Cloud looked over at the wall, shamefaced. A tear slipped out unnoticed to Cloud, but Zack saw it.

"He put his hand down the front of my pants and touched my penis," Cloud blurted. It all came out in one hurried breath.

"I was afraid of that," Zack muttered, writing everything down. "Cloud, I'm sorry, but this question is mandatory. Did he sexually assault you?"

"No," Cloud replied slowly. "He didn't...rape me, if that's what you mean. He just grabbed my dick. Sorry for the language, ma'am," Cloud murmured, blushing.

"Don't worry, son," the nurse replied, smiling sadly at him. "Don't worry. It's important that you give an accurate statement."

"Cloud," Zack said seriously, staring at Cloud. " 'Just grabbing your dick' - that's sexual assault right there. Maybe there wasn't any, ah...penetration, or anything like that, but...that's grounds for expulsion. He _molested_ you, Cloud, and that's a serious offense." _Fredo's going down for this_ , Zack silently vowed, his lips pressed into a thin line. _I'll pack his bags myself, and escort him out of here, permanently._

Cloud's face visibly paled at this, and he pitched back into the tiny cot. "Oh gods," he moaned. "I fucked it all up, didn't I. I fucked it all up," he babbled.

"Cloud!" Zack said evenly, trying his damnedest not to get angry at Cloud's irrational need to blame himself. "This was not your fault, damn it!"

"But...if only I hadn't skipped that seminar," Cloud moaned. "If only I hadn't skipped that seminar, I wouldn't have gotten detention, and I wouldn't have been in that locker room at the same time Fredo was, and none of this would have ever happened."

Zack shook his head in disbelief. _Cloud_ was the one who was assaulted, yet he blamed himself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a typical reaction from assault victims, but it cut Zack to the core to hear Cloud blame himself for this.

"None of that matters, Cloud," Zack said softly. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing, do you hear me? Yeah, you got detention, but what if you were in the locker room for some other reason? What if you, gee, I don't know – wanted to work out? The point is, Cloud," Zack said patiently, "you could have been in that locker room for any number of reasons, and none of them matter. Fredo had no right to do what he did."

Cloud said nothing, but lay silently on the cot while the nurse dressed his facial wounds, digesting Zack's words. "Doctor's ordered a CAT scan, Cloud," the nurse said quietly. "Just to rule out concussion."

"Wonderful," Cloud muttered irritably. "I hate those things. They make me claustrophobic."

"I'll take him to radiology, ma'am," Zack offered. Cloud stared at Zack in disbelief. "I can go myself, Zack," Cloud mumbled. "You've done enough for me already, today. I'm sure you must have a thousand other things you could be doing – "

"Like what, my laundry?" Zack said jokingly. "Boring. Cloud, it's no problem at all. Radiology's just down the hall. Everything's in the same wing down here. Trust me, you're not the first cadet here to need a CAT scan."

"Were _you_ the first one, then?" Cloud asked pointedly, flashing a small grin. Zack laughed heartily at the jab. "You're a smartass, aren't you?" he teased. "I like that."

"You're all set, Cloud," the nurse said softly, as she butterflied the last wound closed. "Here's a prescription for some painkillers, if you need them. You might not need them, but it's up to you whether or not to get the prescription filled."

"Thank you, ma'am," Cloud replied. He slowly got up off the cot, working his limbs one by one, as if testing them before he stood fully on two feet. "I'm okay to walk, Zack," Cloud said, waving off Zack, who was offering Cloud his hand.

"I'll walk beside you, Cloud," Zack told him, being careful not to hover. He realized suddenly, that he'd have to keep a sort of balance with Cloud; he didn't want to be overprotective of the cadet, as that would only serve to drive him away _. I'll just hang back a bit, and if he needs me, I'll be right there._

"Okay," Cloud replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Thanks, Zack." They walked a few doors down to radiology, and Zack ushered Cloud into the office. Cloud handed the receptionist the lab requisition, and was told to sign into the log book, and have a seat until his name was called. He joined Zack, who was already seated, watching a television program in the waiting area.

"This show is so cheesy," Zack hooted, pointing at the TV set. "Have you seen this one, Cloud? Reality show. "These people swap homes; some family from Nibelheim switched places with a family from Midgar. "Gods, they're in for a rude awakening."

"I'm from Nibelheim!" Cloud exclaimed excitedly, glancing up at the television. "Damn. Commercial. I hope they show them again soon…I bet I know who it is."

"Nibelheim, huh?" Zack remarked. "I'm from Gongaga. Not too far from your hometown, really."

"That's funny," Cloud commented, smiling at Zack. "I guess we're practically neighbors, then."

"Seems that way," Zack replied, grinning. This was nice, just bantering with Cloud over everything and nothing.

Cloud looked quickly at his watch, noted the time, and fidgeted uneasily in his chair. He grabbed a magazine from the table next to him and thumbed through it quickly, not really reading it.

Noticing how jumpy Cloud was, Zack put his arm around Cloud in a quick, brotherly hug. "Nervous?" Zack asked him.

"A bit," Cloud admitted, nodding. "I just don't like anything…enclosed like that. Freaks me out."

"Me neither," Zack agreed. "I don't like being closed in either. Must be because we're both country boys at heart, right?"

Cloud laughed. "Yeah…I suppose we are." He continued to sit in the chair, still fidgeting, although Cloud was making a conscious effort to tone it down. His foot seemed to be tapping a mile a minute of its own accord.

"Strife?" the receptionist called into the lobby. "That's me," Cloud murmured. "You really don't have to wait, Zack," he told him.

"I want to," Zack replied. "Besides…I want to ask the doc how soon I can start training you, you know." He grinned widely at Cloud, who couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Thank you, Zack," Cloud said quietly before leaving the lobby. "Thanks…for everything. You're the first friend I made here, you know."

"Well, I'm glad we are friends, Cloud," Zack said, smiling. "So I'll be waiting for you out here, okay?"

"Okay," Cloud replied shyly. The receptionist opened the inner office door, and waved Cloud inside. He waved briefly at Zack before disappearing through the door. "I'll see you in a little while."


	2. Hanging By A Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After going through a crisis, Cloud unexpectedly finds a friend in Zack Fair.

 

_I'm falling even more in love with you_   
_Letting go of all I've held onto_   
_I'm standing here until you make me move_   
_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_   
_I'm living for the only thing I know_   
_I'm running and not quite sure where to go_   
_And I don't know what I'm diving into_   
_Just hanging by a moment here with you_

**Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse**

* * *

The radiology technician on duty greeted Cloud at the door and ushered him inside. She smiled at Cloud, and had him sit in a chair while she went over some questions with him regarding his medical history. "Are you wearing any jewelry?" she asked. "You'll need to remove any jewelry before we begin."

"Oh yeah," Cloud said. "I've only got this earring." He removed it, cupping it in the palm of his hand, and quickly got up from the chair. "I'll be right back, I'll have my friend who's waiting for me hold this for me." Cloud felt his face warm pleasantly… _friend_. He turned the word over in his brain. Yes, Zack really did want to be his friend, he was sure of it. Even though they'd just met, Cloud didn't think there was an insincere bone in Zack's body, and Zack's offer of friendship seemed genuine to Cloud.

"I can put the earring somewhere safe for you, Cloud!" the technician called after him, but he was gone so quickly that he didn't hear her. She shook her head, laughing softly at the impulsive cadet.

Cloud raced back out into the waiting area, and for a split second, wondered if Zack really was waiting for him. _What if he decided he had something better to do than to babysit a cadet?_ Cloud thought, frowning. He smiled with relief as he saw that Zack was still sitting there, reading a tabloid magazine with an amused expression on his face. Zack raised his head as he heard, then saw, Cloud quickly approaching.

"Don't tell me you're done already, Cloud!" Zack exclaimed, raising an eyebrow. "I've had enough CAT scans to know they're not that quick," he said with a smile. Cloud shook his head. "No, I didn't even have it yet."

"You didn't freak out over the CAT scan and bolt, did you?" Zack interrupted, concerned. He folded the magazine back up and placed it on the table next to him, frowning.

"No, I didn't!" Cloud replied, shaking his head emphatically. "I just…." Cloud suddenly felt a bit foolish and awkward. He clutched his earring tightly in his hand, which was becoming moist with nervous perspiration. Slowly, he unfolded his clenched fingers, revealing the object. "My earring, it's kind of…sentimental, I guess. Can you hold onto it for me, Zack? While I'm in there? I guess you can't wear jewelry while you're in that thing."

Zack chuckled, relieved that Cloud hadn't had a panic attack or something like that in the CAT scan machine. "Of course!" he said brightly, holding his hand out toward Cloud, palm side up. Cloud smiled shyly, and placed the carved silver earring in Zack's hand.

"It's a nice earring," Zack murmured, studying it. "It's a wolf, right?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied, his face reddening. "My mom got it for me on my last birthday. It, uh….reminds me of her when I wear it, so…I hardly ever take it off."

"You miss her, don't you?" Zack asked softly. Cloud nodded wordlessly.

"I know what you mean. I miss my parents too. Hey, you'd better get back in there, Cloud – you don't want to mess around, just in case you've got a concussion. And don't worry – I'll keep this safe until you get back." Zack folded his fingers over the earring, and smiled at Cloud, who nodded at him again. "Okay. Thank you so much, Zack," Cloud said, smiling. "For everything." With that, Cloud turned and went back into the office.

Zack sighed and stretched his long legs out in front of him. He felt himself getting restless, and fought every urge to head into the exam room to sneak a peek at how Cloud was doing. _What in the hell is wrong with me?_ Zack wondered, perplexed. _I'm like some overprotective mother hen with Cloud. Thing is, I don't think he needs protection, so much as some guidance…and a little training, maybe._

"I just hope he's okay," Zack said to himself, shuddering as he recalled what he walked in on in the locker room _. Thank gods Angeal and I got there when we did…who knows what could have happened._

The technician was waiting on Cloud, and when he re-entered the exam room, she ushered him over to a chair. "You know, I could have held your personal items for you, Cloud," she said kindly, smiling at him.

"Sorry about that, ma'am," Cloud replied sheepishly. "I didn't realize that."

"Not a problem. Now, let's get you started, so we can get you in and out of here as quickly as possible!" the technician said brightly. "I'll need you to undress from the waist up – so just remove your shirt, please." Cloud nodded, and pulled his shirt over his head, folding it carefully as he placed it on the chair.

"Now, I'll need you to lie on this table over here," the technician told Cloud, leading him over to the long, tubular-shaped CAT scan machine. Cloud complied wordlessly, scooting up further when he was directed to do so.

"This strap is going to go around your head to hold it in place," the technician told him. "It's important that you stay completely still during the test."

"O-okay," Cloud replied nervously. _Strapped down to the table? I'm not liking this too much…_

"Ma'am?" Cloud inquired timidly. "How long will this test take?"

"Well," the woman replied, "it could take anywhere from thirty to sixty minutes."

" _Sixty_ minutes?" Cloud exclaimed in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Cloud, are you claustrophobic?" the technician asked, frowning.

"A little bit," Cloud admitted. "I'm sorry…I can't help it."

The woman chuckled. "It's not your fault. A lot of people are like that, especially when it comes to getting a CAT scan. Do you want Zack to wait in here with you, would that help put you at ease?"

Cloud sighed. He really didn't want Zack, the only friend he'd really made so far, to think he was so weak and needy. _He probably already thinks that anyway_ , Cloud thought morosely. _Both he and Angeal had to pull Fredo off of me, for Gaia's sake._

"No, I'll be fine," Cloud said stubbornly. "And I'll try to stay as still as I can, ma'am."

"Okay then," the woman replied. "Let's get started." She pushed a button, and the table slowly moved back into the tube. Cloud closed his eyes and slowed his breathing, trying desperately to relax his body, and ignore his rapidly beating heart. _Just…focus on something pleasant, he told himself. Zack's face…or, his smile, maybe._

Cloud heard the radiology technician murmuring something to him, but he couldn't quite make it out. Soon, he heard a humming sound, completely surrounding him. _That must be the machine starting,_ Cloud reasoned. He bristled, his entire body stiffening, despite his attempts to relax. Cloud let out a small breath, and tried to picture Zack's face once again. It was starting to help, he felt. His mind began to wander as he imagined Zack's soothing voice, murmuring words of encouragement. It wasn't long before Cloud drifted off to sleep.

When he finally came to, he woke up to the bright overhead lights of the radiology lab, and Zack's concerned face staring down at his own. "What happened in there?" Cloud heard Zack ask the technician. Zack's voice sounded odd to Cloud, as if he were speaking underwater, or in a vacuum.

"He fell asleep," the woman told Zack, smiling. Zack laughed out loud; the sound brought a smile to Cloud's face, and brought him out of his sleepy state.

"Hey, there you are!" Zack said cheerfully, as he noticed Cloud's eyes fluttering open. "You doing okay, buddy? I guess you had a nap in there," he commented, chuckling.

"Yeah," Cloud said slowly, yawning as if to confirm the fact. "I…I'm glad I was able to relax a bit," he remarked, smirking. "I…want to get up," he stammered, gripping the sides of the bed as he swung his legs over the side, swaying slightly.

"Take it easy, Cloud," Zack warned him reaching a hand out to steady him. "Oh hey – I've got your earring here," Zack said, showing Cloud the object in his hand. "Here, I'll put it on you," he offered impulsively.

Before Cloud could even protest, Zack brushed back a few feathery blond tufts of hair away from Cloud's left ear, and inserted the earring, squinting as he did so to make sure he got it in right, and fastened it with the backing. The intimacy of the act, of feeling Zack touching him jarred Cloud out of his sleepy stupor; he swallowed hard as he felt his face redden, and his pulse raced. Zack's eyes locked with Cloud's, and he suddenly seemed to realize the cadet was still shirtless, swallowing hard as his gaze drifted downward to Cloud's bared chest.

"Ah…well, there you go, Cloud," Zack murmured awkwardly. He scratched his head as he stood up, breaking eye contact with Cloud. _What the hell am I thinking?_ Zack scolded himself _. What the hell is happening? I feel like I can't help it…I'm attracted to him, for sure, but I've gotta be careful. He's been through a lot today._

"Thank you," Cloud managed to croak out, his voice suddenly giving out on him. He got up quickly and grabbed his shirt from the back of the chair, and put it on. "So, uh…do I have a concussion?" Cloud asked the technician.

"Everything looks fine, Cloud," the technician replied, smiling. "The doctor took a look at the images, and there didn't seem to be any signs of a concussion.

"Oh, good," Cloud replied, relieved. "Thank you." The technician smiled and waved at Cloud. "Good luck Cloud," she said. "If you have any strange symptoms, or any pain, make sure you report to the nurse immediately."

Cloud nodded. "I will, thank you." He turned to Zack and said, "Well, I guess I should be going to head back to my dorm now. It's been quite a day."

"I'll say," Zack agreed. They both exited the office, and stood out in the corridor, facing each other. "Damn, I'm hungry," Zack commented absently, just as his stomach audibly growled. He laughed along with Cloud.

"I guess you are," Cloud commented, grinning. "Well, I've taken up enough of your time, Zack. I can't thank you enough for everything."

"It's no problem at all, Spikey," Zack blurted, and blushed. The nickname had just slipped out so naturally. "I, uh – sorry. Just consider it a term of endearment, I guess," he said, smiling at Cloud.

Cloud blushed crimson, all the way out to his ears. If it had been anyone else calling him Spikey, Cloud probably would have wanted to lay him out flat. But when it came from Zack…it was somehow different. In a good way.

"It's…okay, I guess," Cloud replied, smiling shyly. "Besides, you have the same issues I do, with controlling your hair. I mean, uh…wow, that came out sounding way more insulting than I intended." Cloud turned an even deeper crimson as he stammered. He stared at his shoes, and scratched his head nervously, and finally glanced at Zack with a sheepish grin.

Zack laughed heartily. "You've got a point there, Cloud," he replied. "I guess we've bonded over our hair issues, huh?"

"Yeah, something like that," Cloud said, chuckling softly. "Well…I'd better go now. See you around." He turned to leave, but stopped when he felt Zack's hand on his shoulder, pulling him back.

"Hold on a second, Cloud," Zack interrupted. "I just wanted to tell you what happened. Angeal called me while you were in there. Fredo…well, he's been dealt with. You won't have to worry about him bothering you again."

"What?" Cloud said, surprised. "Wow, that was…uh, fast. Is he suspended or something?"

"No," Zack said grimly, setting his jaw. "When I said Fredo was done, I meant just that – done. He's been expelled from the academy, Cloud. I told you that what he did was a serious offense. The academy has a no tolerance policy for sexual assault, and Fredo dug his own grave with that one. Angeal and Genesis – have you met Genesis Rhapsodos yet, Cloud?"

"I have," Cloud replied, nodding. "I have him for modern literature. Why?"

"Well," Zack went on, "Angeal went right to General Sephiroth with Fredo – who was still in his bath towel, to boot," he added, rolling his eyes. Cloud smirked, picturing the ape-like Fredo being ushered into Sephiroth's office, probably still dripping wet from his shower. "Angeal told Sephiroth just what we'd walked in on, and without hesitation, he ordered Angeal and Genesis to get Fredo back to his dorm to get his belongings, and escort him off the premises. He's _gone_ , Cloud."

"Thank Gaia," Cloud murmured. "I mean, I'm relieved, but…wow. I mean, he's done here just because of that one thing…"

"Don't you dare undermine what Fredo did, Cloud," Zack said sternly. "If Angeal and I hadn't gotten there when we did…who knows what he might have done."

"But…but…," Cloud stammered. "He told me he…didn't swing that way, or something."

"Cloud, please," Zack said patiently. "None of that matters, don't you see? No matter what Fredo said, what he did violated the rules at this academy. Even worse, he violated _you_."

"I guess so," Cloud muttered, staring at the floor. As relieved as Cloud was that Fredo would no longer be a student at the academy, he had a weird, unsettled feeling now, and he wasn't exactly sure why. "Well…thanks again, Zack – " Cloud was interrupted as Zack's cell phone rang.

"Hold on a sec, Cloud," Zack said as he took out his cell phone. "It's Angeal, I gotta take this. Zack here," he spoke into the phone. "Oh, so the Turks transported him out? I see. Good call by Sephiroth, that way we know for sure he's off the premises. Um…sure, that sounds good. Max's again? Just you, Ang?"

Cloud stared at the ceiling, feeling very out of place as Zack continued yammering on his phone call with Angeal _. I should just take off_ , he thought. _He's obviously very busy._ Cloud caught Zack's eye and waved good-bye to him, as he turned to leave.

"I gotta go, Angeal," Zack said quickly, hanging up his phone. Frowning, he trotted after Cloud. "Hold up, Cloud," he called, as he caught up with him. "Where are you running off to now?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Cloud turned and replied. "Just going back to my barracks, to the dorms. Why?"

Zack smiled easily at Cloud. "Because, I was going to ask you if you wanted to grab some pizza. Angeal and I are going to Max's, and I guess Genesis is going to be there with a couple of students from his poetry group. It's nothing fancy, but I figured if you're hungry…" Zack tried keeping it light and casual; the last thing he wanted Cloud to think was that this was some sort of _date_.

_You'd like that though, wouldn't you_ , Zack told himself, feeling a tiny bit guilty _. A date with Cloud…_

Cloud scratched his head, considering the offer. _I guess it won't be so bad,_ he reflected, _if Genesis has some students there with him as well. I just don't want Zack to get in trouble…hanging out with me like that._

"You won't get in trouble, will you, Zack?" Cloud asked earnestly, his big blue eyes tinged with worry.

"Get in trouble for what?" Zack scoffed. "Come on, Genesis will be there with his students…and besides, you're not even my student, Cloud. You're not in any of my classes."

"But you offered to give me lessons, remember" Cloud argued. "I just don't want…any trouble."

"There won't _be_ any trouble," Zack insisted. "It's not like we're going on a date. And even if we were, I wouldn't worry about that, either."

Cloud froze, staring at Zack nervously. _Did he just say 'if we were going on a date?' Oh my Gaia_ , Cloud worried. _Does that mean he **wants** to go on a date? No way…no way could Zack have meant that. We only just met! _ Despite the inner debate Cloud was having with himself, he couldn't deny the attraction he felt toward Zack; but, he was certain it was one-sided; a puppy-love type of crush and nothing more.

"Okay," Cloud finally replied, relenting. "I guess it can't hurt to have a few slices of pizza."

"That's the spirit!" Zack exclaimed, as they set off. Cloud fell in step quickly with Zack, as they headed out toward Loveless Avenue. "Besides," Zack went on. "If I took you out on an actual date, I'd like to think I'd take you out for something better than pizza!" He laughed softly, and Cloud chuckled nervously.

"Uh, pizza…is perfectly fine for a first date, in my opinion," Cloud replied, glancing anxiously at Zack _. Did I just say that?_ _Oh gods…_

_Damn it_ , Zack thought, suddenly realizing how nervous Cloud had become. _I'm really pushing it here, talking about first dates and everything._ _Gaia help me, though, I really do want to take Cloud out sometime…just the two of us._ Zack decided to steer the subject away from dating, hoping to put Cloud more at ease.

"Yeah, nothing wrong with pizza, really," Zack commented. "Or a really good cheeseburger."

"Mm," Cloud murmured, his stomach churning at the mention of food. "I love cheeseburgers."

"What else do you like to eat, Cloud?" Zack asked him, trying again to change the subject, and hopefully get Cloud to relax.

"Oh, lots of things," Cloud replied, smiling over at Zack. "My mom is a really good cook…" The two continued in easy conversation like this, until they reached their destination of Max's Pizzeria, not far from the academy. Angeal, Genesis, and his two students, Zane and Dillon, were already seated in a large booth toward the back of the restaurant when they arrived. The eldest SOLDIER waved at Zack, motioning him to come over.

"Hey, Angeal," Zack called as he strode toward the booth, waving Cloud along. "Come on, Cloud, let's grab a seat. Before Angeal eats everything," he said, chuckling. Cloud smiled and took a seat next to Zack. Genesis and his two students were seated opposite Angeal.

Angeal raised an eyebrow as Zack slid into the seat next to him. "Nice, Zack," Angeal murmured, smirking. "You accuse me of eating everything, and we haven't even placed our order yet."

"Yes," Genesis interrupted, rolling his eyes, and glaring at Zack. "Seeing as we were waiting on _you_ , Zachary."

"Okay, okay!" Zack protested, laughing. "Fine. You could have ordered my usual and it would have been just fine, but whatever. It's just pizza." Menus were passed around the table, and the waiter came by to take the beverage order.

"Cloud, is it?" Genesis said quietly to the blond, even though he knew damned well who the cadet was, having been apprised Fredo's attack on him. Cloud nodded affirmatively. "Yes, sir," he replied. "I'm in your a.m. modern lit class."

"Ah yes," Genesis murmured. "I hope you like LOVELESS – have you read it yet? We'll be starting on it next week. Anyway," Genesis continued, without waiting for Cloud to reply, "these are two of my students, Zane and Dillon…they're forming a poetry group. Perhaps you'd like to join them if you're so inclined."

_Gods, what a bunch of nerds,_ Cloud thought dismissively, holding back a smirk. "I'll keep that in mind," he replied, nearly losing it completely as he felt Zack elbow him sneakily. Cloud glanced over at Zack, who was grinning mischievously. "Um, hi…Zane, Dillon," Cloud said quietly. "Nice to meet you both."

"Call me Dill," Dillon replied, smiling. "Everyone else does. I know what you must be thinking, Cloud. That we're dorks for starting a poetry group."

Cloud laughed uncomfortably. _Did he just read my mind?_ "Uh, no, I wouldn't say that," Cloud said politely. _A lie, but a small one_ , he reasoned. Cloud could feel Zack shaking holding back his laughter next to him. Zack covered his mouth with a closed fist, pretending to study the menu.

Dill grinned, his pale green eyes lighting up merrily, contrasting nicely with his strawberry-hued red hair. Zane seemed to be the quieter of the two, a raven-haired teen with golden brown eyes, who wore a serious expression. Cloud felt himself warming up to Dill already, as the boy continued chattering to Cloud.

"It might surprise you, but even though I'm into poetry - and LOVELESS, too, of course," Dill went on, with a nod to Genesis, "I'm into computahs, too." The boy spoke with an accent that Cloud couldn't quite place, but it was pleasant and familiar sounding. _Kalm, maybe? I'll have to remember to ask him where he's from._

"Really?" Cloud replied, suddenly interested. "Maybe you can look at my laptop. I kind of broke it," he said sheepishly.

"Yeah, sure I can take a look," Dill offered enthusiastically. "Man, tough luck, eh? Broke it the first week of classes?"

"I don't know what happened," Cloud replied, sighing. "I have the worst luck with electronics, I don't know why!"

"See, that's why you should stick with manual weapons, Cloud," Zack interrupted, winking. "The sword. We'll go over some stuff, you and I, like we discussed." Angeal and Genesis looked at Zack inquisitively. "I'm going to be tutoring Cloud on some sword-fighting tactics," Zack explained. "He's shown great potential already, in his swordsmanship class." Zack beamed proudly at Cloud, who blushed brightly and stared at his placemat, feeling self-conscious.

"That's excellent, Cloud," Genesis replied, smiling kindly at the boy. "Fencing is really becoming a lost art, you know. Oh, and we do have a fencing club here at the academy, if you're interested..."

"Genesis and his clubs," Zack said teasingly. "He's the king of extracurricular activities."

"Are we quite ready to order yet?" Angeal interjected impatiently. "I'm _really_ hungry."

"Ang, you're always hungry," Zack teased. "Last time we came here," he told the boys at the table, "Angeal and I ordered the extra-large deep dish, and I swear, he polished off like, three-quarters of it. I hardly got to eat _any_ of it."

"And you ate an entire appetizer platter by yourself that time, as I recall," Angeal returned, grinning. "Let's just get a few pies and share amongst ourselves then. Sound good?"

"Fine by me," Genesis agreed. "I'd like to try the daily special though, the one with dumbapples and ham on it."

"Dumbapples on pizza?" Zane piped up, frowning. "That sounds rather odd."

Genesis cast Zane a glare, as if the boy had just insulted his mother. "Dumbapples," Genesis began, in a lecturing sort of tone, "are the most versatile fruit on Gaia. They're sweet, so they can be used in desserts; but, they are also starchy, like a potato, and can be used in savory dishes as well."

"Gods, Genesis," Angeal groaned. "Don't lecture the poor kid on dumbapples, for Gaia's sake. You're not in class right now." The elder SOLDIER signaled the waiter, indicating that they were ready to order.

Zack chuckled as he folded his menu shut. "Genesis and Angeal are both from Banora Village," he explained to Cloud and the other boys, who were looking a bit puzzled at Genesis's impassioned defense of the dumbapple. "In Mideel."

"Oh," Cloud murmured, nodding. "Dumbapples. They only grow on Mideel, right?"

"That is correct," Genesis said, beaming at Cloud. _Finally, someone who gets it_ , he mused. _He seems a bright enough boy...quiet, though. I shall be keeping my eye on him._ "And Banora Village, where Angeal and I hail from, has the best dumbapples in all of Mideel."

"Four extra-large pizzas," Angeal told the server, who had come to the table with a note pad in hand, waiting to take their order. "One meat lover's, one veggie combination - "

"And a cheeseburger pizza," Zack interrupted, smiling at Cloud. "You said you like cheesburgers, right Cloud?"

Cloud nodded. "Yeah. I've never had a cheeseburger pizza, though...that sounds good."

"It is good," Zack replied. "It has bacon on it," he added, practically drooling.

"Oh, I love bacon!" Cloud exclaimed. "Gods, I'm getting hungrier now."

Zack chuckled. "Something else we have in common, then," he observed, smiling at Cloud. "A love of bacon." Cloud blushed again under Zack's stare; _was Zack always this attentive to cadets who showed potential?_ Cloud wondered. _Or...is there something else there? Wishful thinking,_ Cloud told himself firmly. _That's all it can be...nothing more. Zack is just outgoing and has a kind heart, that's all._

"Okay," Angeal said patiently. "A cheeseburger pizza, and...the special. With the dumbapples," he told the waiter, gazing pointedly at a smirking Genesis.

"And, a pitcher of dumbapple margaritas for the table," Genesis interjected. The waiter wrote everything down and nodded, collecting menus from the table as he left.

Angeal raised an eyebrow at Genesis. "Margaritas? Really?" he teased. "You and your fruity girl drinks, Genesis. Honestly. And boys," Angeal warned Cloud, Dill and Zane. "Only one drink each. You all have drill tomorrow morning with me, don't forget." A collective groan was heard around the table.

"That's right," Cloud muttered. "Bright and early, too." The waiter came back quickly with the pitcher of drinks, and set it in the middle of the table, along with six margarita glasses. Genesis grabbed the pitcher right away and began pouring himself a drink.

Angeal nodded, smiling at Cloud. "The earlier the better, Cloud," he replied. "In fact, I'd prefer to get started at oh-five-hundred hours, but Sephiroth won't let me start instruction until oh-seven-hundred hours. Unfortunately."

"I think I'm with Sephiroth on that one, Ang," Zack remarked. "I'm not really a morning person," he told Cloud, grinning. Zack shifted slightly in his seat, unintentionally inching closer to Cloud; he could feel Cloud's thigh pressed against his own, his body heat radiating through the fabric of his pants. _Get a hold of yourself, Fair,_ Zack scolded himself, as he felt his heart thudding in his chest, and a pleasant warmth pooling around his groin. _Down, SOLDIER!_ He wondered if Cloud was even aware of how he was completely driving Zack to distraction just by his mere proximity.

_I've really got it bad for him, don't I,_ Zack thought sheepishly, sneaking a sideward glance at Cloud, who was now discussing his laptop woes again with Dill. The warm interior lighting of the pizzeria brought out varying shades of darker blond, and even some red, in Cloud's hair. Zack remembered the first time he'd seen Cloud; the moment his eyes fell upon the boy, during Cloud's swordsmanship class, his hair had been backlit by the sun, as the students ran through their practice drills. The sight had struck Zack momentarily, and stayed with him; it had almost looked like Cloud had a halo around his head, as the sun reflected off of his blond spikes. It had been a beautiful sight.

"What floor are you on, Cloud?" Dill was asking the cadet. "If you want, I'll come by some time after classes tomorrow and take a look at your laptop."

"Wow, thanks," Cloud replied, smiling. Was he actually making a new friend now, in Dill? _Maybe coming out for pizza wasn't such a bad idea after all,_ he thought. "That's really nice of you, Dill. I'm on floor two, in the west quad. Where are you?"

"East quad, floor one," Dill replied. "Zane and I are roomies," he said, nodding at the boy next to him.

"Yeah," Zane said, joining in the conversation. "East quad's pretty quiet, except for those girls on floor three. You know the ones, Dill."

"You have girls in your barracks?" Cloud asked, surprised. He knew the academy was co-ed, but there still weren't a lot of female cadets as yet. Cloud's graduating class was the first to admit female applicants; so far, there were only a few in each of Cloud's classes.

"Well, yeah," Dill replied. "Not on our floor, though. The girls are all on that one floor. There aren't many of them. And they're not all bad, Zane" he said, casting an amused glance at his roommate. "Just that one who keeps hitting on you - "

"Oh yeah, that Quinn girl," Zane replied, rolling his eyes. "Now _she's_ annoying. I guess the others aren't as bad. Still, I feel a little bad for the girls," Zane commented, pouring himself a margarita. "They must feel out of place, you know?"

"Yeah, they probably do," Cloud agreed. _I know what that's like...feeling out of place,_ he thought, grimacing. "Thanks," he said, taking the drink pitcher from Dill as he passed it along.

"So, who are you rooming with, Cloud?" Dill asked as he gulped his drink, puckering his mouth at the sour taste. "Wow. This is really...tart," he remarked, blinking.

Genesis sighed impatiently. "Don't guzzle it, Dillon," he cautioned him. "This is a sipping drink."

"Margaritas are not sipping drinks, Genesis," Zack rejoined, snickering. "Anything with tequila should be slammed down as quickly as possible." Zack caught Angeal's warning look, and cleared his throat. "Not that I, uh, would ever condone such a thing," he corrected himself.

Cloud snickered at Zack, then answered Dill's question. "Oh, I have my own room," Cloud replied. "I guess I had a roomie...or, I was supposed to, anyway. But he withdrew before the term even started, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders indifferently, and sipped his drink.

"Yeah...it's a shame when a student suddenly withdraws like that," Zack said, looking pointedly at Cloud. "Especially one who shows a lot of potential." Zack's eyes met Cloud's for an instant as they exchanged a glance; Cloud knew exactly what Zack was hinting at - his own threats to withdraw from the academy, as a result of the incident with Fredo.

"But," Cloud said, grinning slyly at Zack, "when a student withdraws and the result is me getting a private dorm room, I kind of don't have a problem with that." The group at the table laughed convivially as Zack gave Cloud a _look_ ; finally, he relented and laughed along with everyone else.

"The rooms are kind of drab, though," Zane commented. "Dill and I were thinking of painting ours, but we don't know if it's allowed."

Angeal shrugged his shoulders, smiling indulgently at the boys. "Generally speaking, it's fine. Nothing too crazy, though," he cautioned. "They repaint the rooms every summer anyway, so while it's not exactly _encouraged_ for cadets to paint their rooms," Angeal said in a mock-stern voice, "it's also not strictly forbidden."

"Huh," Cloud murmured. "You know, the walls are kind of plain. I've thought about decorating just a little...maybe just posters for the walls, or something."

"I can help you, Cloud," Zack offered eagerly. "I know a good place in Wall Market that sells stuff like that, I'll take you there sometime. If...if you want to, that is." Angeal and Genesis exchanged a curious glance with one another, unbeknownst to anyone else at the table. The two had picked up on Zack's attentions toward the quiet blond cadet, and both wondered just what Zack's intentions were. _I intend to find out later_ , Genesis thought, glancing at Zack and Cloud, who were quietly engaged in a discussion with each other, almost oblivious to everyone else at the table.

_They're almost behaving as if they were on a date_ , Genesis pondered. _Zack is so impulsive sometimes...I worry about him. I hope he's being careful. Cloud had a traumatic experience today, and I know Zack is trying to befriend the boy..._

"Yeah," Zane interjected. "I was wondering where we could buy stuff like that around here, actually. Posters and stuff. Sir? What's the name of that place in Wall Market?"

The boys continued discussing the pros and cons of life in the barracks dorms, and soon the four massive pizzas arrived. They were so large that the waiter had to bring out some folding tables, which he placed at the end of the booth to hold all the pizzas. "We should just give a whole one to Angeal, really," Zack said teasingly, winking at his mentor, as he began dishing out the pizza.

"Enough, Zachary," Angeal replied, glaring at Zack, but with a glint of humor in his voice. "As much as you pick on my eating habits, you eat nearly as much as me."

"But I have a high metabolism!" Zack protested. "Like a ferret."

"And the same attention span, too," Genesis cracked, chuckling. Angeal joined in, laughing softly at Genesis's remark. "Now, Genesis," Angeal warned, ever the voice of reason. "Be nice."

"Hey!" Zack protested, sticking his bottom lip out as if he were pouting. Cloud thought it was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen, and before he could stop himself, a lovesick sounding sigh slipped out. He froze, mortified, and praying to Gaia that nobody noticed.

Nobody had - except for Zack himself. He caught Cloud staring at him, and unapologetically stared back. _Such beautiful eyes he has_ , Cloud thought, before he nervously looked away, turning his attention back to eating his pizza. _Like the open sky.._.

Zack sighed, and tucked into his pizza. He was starting to feel idiotic and obvious with his apparent crush on Cloud. _My mom always said I wore my heart on my sleeve_ , he reflected, as he chewed on his pizza thoughtfully. _I guess she was right._

It wasn't long before all four pizzas were demolished by six hungry young men, with nothing left to show for it but the empty pizza pans on which they'd rested. The bill came, and was paid for amongst Zack, Angeal and Genesis, despite protestations from the boys, who offered to pitch in. "Don't get used to it," Genesis warned, with a wink.

"So, Cloud, maybe we'll uh, see you around?" Dill asked as everyone stood up, readying themselves to leave. "And don't forget, I'll take a look at your laptop if you want."

"Okay," Cloud agreed. "Hey, wait a minute, Dill - give me your cell phone number, so I can get a hold of you." Cloud took out his cell phone, and opened his contacts menu, and tapped in Dill's phone number as he recited it to Cloud. "Got it," Cloud muttered, pocketing his phone once again. "Nice meeting you, Dill. Zane, you too."

"See you around," Zane called, waving good-bye to Cloud and the group. Zack waved to Angeal and Genesis as they departed, and followed Cloud out of the restaurant, where he was waiting, staring at the ground.

"Hey, Cloud," Zack said. "So, that wasn't so bad, huh? Max's always has good pizza."

"Yeah, it was really good," Cloud replied, smiling shyly at Zack. "I liked that cheeseburger pizza a lot."

"Somehow I knew you would," Zack said, grinning. "And it seems like you hit it off really well with Dill." As much as he wanted Cloud to make friends, Zack felt a tiny ping of jealousy as he said the words. _I'm being ridiculous, of course_ , he warned himself.

"Yeah," Cloud said softly, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "But...but he's not you, Zack."

Zack was certain his heart must have stopped beating; Cloud was pretty much confessing his crush on Zack. _Should I...say anything?_ Zack wondered, suddenly feeling confused.

"Do you mean...ah, what I think you mean, Cloud?" Zack asked. They'd been walking along, back down Loveless Avenue, but Zack stopped Cloud near the fountain, placing a hand over his shoulder as he stared him in the eyes.

"I - I mean..." Cloud murmured. "I know we've only just met, but I feel like...you're going to be one of my best friends, Zack. Oh gods, that sounds so stupid...I shouldn't have said that, should I," he muttered self-depracatingly.

"No," Zack said slowly. "I was thinking the same thing, actually...it doesn't sound stupid to me, not at all. You know, it's like...I feel this, kinship with you, Cloud." _Kinship?_ Zack mentally slapped his forehead. **_Kinship_** _, really Zack? Is that the best you could come up with? Now **that** was a dumb thing to say. _

"What I mean is," Zack continued, recovering himself, "that even though we've just met, it feels like we've known each other already. Maybe in a past life, yeah?" he cracked, chuckling, trying to put Cloud at ease. Had he scared off the cadet already? Cloud was staring at the cobblestone paving around the fountain, not looking up, not even acknowledging what Zack had said.

_I blew it,_ Zack fretted, as Cloud still refused to meet his gaze. _I bloody well blew it. Coming on too damned strong, I knew I should have dialed it back a bit..._

"Cloud? Say something, please," Zack pleaded. "I know...I come on a little strong sometimes. Angeal, he says I'm too impulsive and unrestrained...which is why he calls me his 'puppy'...gods, what an embarrassing nickname, huh?" It was as if a spigot had been turned on, the words kept tumbling out as Zack kept babbling nervously.

It took everything Cloud had within him, but the relief he felt at knowing Zack felt _something_ toward him, made it a little bit easier. Cloud unexpectedly and impulsively wrapped his arms around Zack's waist in a gentle hug, his cheek buried in Zack's chest. "I'm glad we're friends, Zack," Cloud mumbled. His nerves began to set him on edge as he felt Zack's heart beating against his cheek.

Zack's arms slowly came around Cloud, embracing him. His nose was tickled by blond spikes, and Zack came dangerously close to impulsively kissing the top of Cloud's head, but he somehow restrained himself.

"I'm glad we're friends too, Cloud," Zack replied. "Maybe...if you wanted to, we could be..."

Cloud lifted his head and gazed up at Zack, waiting for him to finish. _By Gaia, he's gorgeous_ , Cloud thought, as he studied Zack's chiseled, handsome face. _This all has to be a dream. Soon, I'll wake up. Back home in Nibelheim, where there's no Zack._

"...more than friends," Zack finished the sentence, letting out a long breath as he did so. "Gods, I'm being too pushy, aren't I? I mean, you had a hell of a day today, and here I am hitting on you, and I probably _shouldn't_ be, but damn it Cloud, I like you. There. I said it." Zack exhaled again, feeling a bit of relief at confessing his attraction to Cloud, but also feeling some fear and trepidation.

"Do you always talk so much when you're nervous, Zack?" Cloud asked, smiling. The blond was feeling a huge sense of relief, now that Zack had confessed his feelings first; Cloud figured he had nothing to lose by telling Zack what he felt as well.

"I like you too, Zack," Cloud murmured. "But," he continued, frowning, "I don't want you getting in trouble over me. It could get awkward, if we...well, you know." _Were dating? **Sleeping** together? Oh Gaia... _ Cloud felt the blood drain from his face as he got a sudden mental image of himself and Zack - together, naked, and making love.

"Look, why don't we just meet up tomorrow after your classes are done?" Zack offered, hoping to put to rest Cloud's fears. "Then...we can go over some tactics. And, well...whatever else you want to do."

"I promise, Cloud," Zack said, lowering his voice as he cupped Cloud's chin, tipping it upward. "I won't do anything to hurt you, I – "

_I'm falling for you, Cloud. I can't help myself._

" – I care about you. I don't want to fuck this up."

Cloud's breath hitched in his throat as he continued gazing up at Zack, his lips parted invitingly. He couldn't help but become short of breath, as his heart thudded, his blood roaring in his ears _. I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss **me**. _

"I – I want," Cloud began, stammering. He swallowed before continuing.

"Zack," Cloud whispered. "Will you kiss me?" Zack felt something come undone near his heart at the question; it was so sweet, so innocent – yet the hunger in Cloud's eyes was all too real.

Zack nodded wordlessly, unable to look away. He moved his face toward Cloud's, and closed his eyes as he moved in to kiss him. Soft, warm lips parted to accept Zack's – tentatively at first, then slightly more forceful, but not _too_ forceful.

It was…just about _perfect_. They didn't want to stop kissing. Cloud slowly moved his arms about Zack's waist, drawing him in.

A low rumble formed in Zack's throat as a small moan of pleasure escaped. "Mm," Zack murmured. " _Cloud_ …" He looked down at the cadet, who he just noticed was standing on tiptoe in order to reach him. Zack smiled indulgently at him, and gave Cloud another tender kiss, cupping his chin as he did so. He sighed contentedly as their lips parted.

"That was…" Zack began, seemingly lost for words. "Ah…that was…"

"Nice," Cloud purred, tucking his head in the crook of Zack's shoulder. The SOLDIER gently brought his muscled arms around Cloud again, hugging him. _It's like we fit perfectly together_ , Zack thought, as he looked down at the cadet nuzzling into his neck. _Like he was always meant to be in my arms, just like this._

"It was the most perfect kiss I've ever experienced," Zack said earnestly - and he meant it.

"Really?" Cloud said, wondering if Zack was serious. "I...thought so too. Not that I have a lot of experience to go by..." Cloud extricated himself from Zack's embrace and scratched his head in that adorable way that Zack had grown to love.

"I'll walk you back to your barracks," Zack offered quietly. "We both need to get some rest...busy day tomorrow for us both, yeah?"

Cloud nodded wordlessly. He didn't want this moment to end, but he knew Zack was right; if he stayed awake any longer, he would be useless come morning, and he had drill with Angeal first thing, followed by firearms training, then archery.

_And then...my private tutoring session with Zack_ , Cloud thought with a grin. _I definitely want to be well rested for that._

"You...sure this isn't out of your way?" Cloud asked Zack hesitantly. "I don't want to bother you..."

"Knock it off, Cloud!" Zack exclaimed, chuckling. "You could never be a bother to me. Like I told you..." Zack murmured, putting an arm around Cloud's hunched shoulders, "I like you, Cloud."

"Okay. It's...well, okay then," Cloud said, smiling sideward at Zack. "I...like you too." Almost of its own accord, Cloud's arm snaked around Zack's waist, gently pulling him in closer. Cloud blinked, shocked at his own boldness. _Gods, we must look like...a couple,_ Cloud thought happily. _Are we?_

They'd reached the barracks, and Zack reluctantly withdrew his arm from around Cloud's shoulders. "Officer's quarters are just behind the west quad," Zack told him, pointing. "See? So it wasn't out of my way at all. We're...practically neighbors, I guess." He grinned at Cloud and kissed him quickly on the lips, before turning to leave.

"Until tomorrow, then," Zack murmured, as he brushed his lips against Cloud's one last time. They parted, grinning stupidly at each other for a moment; then, with a brief wave to each other, they turned and went back to their respective buildings.

_Until tomorrow_ , Cloud thought, unable to stop smiling. He was so happy in that moment he thought his heart might burst. He trudged up the steps of the barracks, and made his way down the hall to his room, locking the door behind him, and fastened the door chain. The horrific encounter with Fredo re-entered his mind as he locked up; while he was certain Fredo was no longer a direct threat, ever since Zack confirmed that the brute had been forcibly removed and then expelled, Cloud was still wary of some of the members of Fredo's gang. _Better to be safe than sorry_ , Cloud thought grimly. _I can't wait to get some more training under my belt, so I can better defend myself in the future._ He sighed happily as he kicked off his boots and lay on his bed, still smiling as he thought of Zack. _Today started off so horribly_ , Cloud thought. _But I couldn't have asked for a better way to end my day...kissing Zack. I still feel like I'm dreaming..._ And soon, he was, as exhaustion set in, and Cloud quickly drifted into a dead sleep, a smile on his face.

* * *

Being a SOLDIER, particularly a First Class, came with its own rewards; namely, private quarters. Having been recently promoted to First, Zack finally had his own apartment within the officer's quarters building. He entered his apartment and shut the door behind him, feeling as if he were floating on air as he walked toward his bedroom - he didn't even feel his feet touching the ground as he shuffled down the small hallway.

With a hearty sigh, Zack threw himself on his bed, folded his arms behind his head and smiled as he stretched his long legs out on the bed. He grimaced, suddenly realizing he'd forgotten to remove his boots. He sat up slowly and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, kicking off his boots, and placing them next to the nightstand. He stripped his clothing down to his boxer shorts, and was about to slip under the bedcovers, when a blinking red light caught his eye, indicating a voice mail on his telephone.

_...Should I check it?_ Zack wondered. "Gods, if I don't get to bed soon, I will regret it in the morning," Zack muttered. "I'd better see if this is something important though, before I fall asleep." He picked up the received and punched in his password to retrieve his messages. There was only one, and it was from Sephiroth.

" _Zack_ ," came the general's voice. " _I've just spoken with Angeal and Genesis, and they've informed me that they saw you escorting Cadet Strife back to his dorm. I need you to keep an eye on him; the Turks intercepted some electronic communications between former cadet Fredo, and some of his classmates. Apparently they've attempted to hatch a plan to exact revenge against Cloud...they've perceived it to be the cadet's fault that their cohort was removed from the academy. To put it plainly, Zack, there's been a bomb threat made against Cloud. Call me as soon as you get this. I tried reaching you on your cell phone, but did not get through_."

Zack felt his stomach drop to the floor. He ran his hands through his hair, making it stick up even more wildly, and began dressing himself again quickly, while dialing Sephiroth. _Gods, it's late...I hope he's not asleep..._

After a few rings, the general finally picked up. "Yes?"

"It's Zack," he said, and rapidly began firing off questions. "What happened, Sephiroth? Did you get the kids who made this threat against Cloud? What do you want me to do, sir?"

"The intel just came in, Zack," Sephiroth said quietly. "We are stationing SOLDIERS in each quad as we speak. The bomb squad is on standby, althouth nothing suspicious has turned up as yet. All of the suspected students have been rounded up, but they are not talking. Yet," he added.

"Has anyone checked Cloud's room?" Zack interrupted. "Well? Have they?"

"Not yet," Sephiroth replied. "That will be done momentarily. As I said, I just received this intel mere minutes ago - "

"And I just dropped Cloud off at his room," Zack said, his voice rising in anger, tinged with fear. "I'm going over there right now to get Cloud. I don't believe he's safe there, sir."

"You can probably get there faster than the bomb squad," Sephiroth said brusquely. "Go. He's in Room 2B. And report back to me."

"Yes, sir," Zack said, and quickly hung up the phone. "Shit!" he yelled, tripping over his boots in his haste to re-dress himself. Fury welled up in Zack; _how dare they?_ he thought angrily. _How fucking dare they threaten Cloud!_

"I hope I'm not too late," Zack muttered as he ran out of his apartment. "Gods, what if..." He couldn't even finish the thought, although his mind was visualizing the worst; arriving to Cloud's room, finding it - and him - blown to bits.

* * *

Zack ran faster than he'd ever run in his life, covering the short distance between the officer's quarters to the west quad in less than a minute. He burst through the front door to find SOLDIERS milling about, all of whom had just reported to their posts, and were quickly evacuating students from the building, most of whom had been in bed for an hour or more by this time, and were looking sleepy and confused as the SOLDIERS ushered them from their rooms.

"Sir?" Sergeant Flanard, the gunnery specialist said, approaching Zack. "Is there anything wrong?"

"Cadet Strife's room hasn't been searched yet Sergeant," Zack said hoarsely. "Bomb squad's on their way, but General Sephiroth has asked me to evacuate the cadet." _Not to mention, I'm worried sick about him..._

"Right behind you, sir," Flanard replied, setting his jaw. Zack nodded, and the two made their way down to Cloud's room. Zack immediately began pounding on the door. "Cloud!" Zack shouted through the door. "Cloud, open up, it's me, Zack. Sergeant Flanard and I are out here, we're evacuating..." He stopped, not wanting to upset Cloud anymore than he surely would be, once he found out some fellow cadets had made a bomb threat against him. "We're evacuating this floor." _No need to tell him why, until he's safely outside_ , Zack reasoned.

There was no answer, despite Zack's frantic pounding on the door. "Cloud?" Still no answer. " _Cadet Strife, are you in there_?" Zack shouted, worried out of his mind. _Maybe he's been evacuated already? Not taking any chances..._

"Shoot the lock!" Zack ordered Sergeant Flanard. The Sergeant nodded, taking up his arms. "Stand back, Commander," he told Zack, as he shot the doorknob cleanly off of the door. Zack charged into the door, his shoulder bearing the brunt of the force as he knocked it down. He fell to the ground on top of the door, rolling over quickly and coming up into a sitting position. Cloud was, by now, sitting up in his bed, wide-eyed and speechless. He was still fully clothed, save for his boots.

"Zack?" Cloud finally said, bewildered. "What is going on here?"

"Cloud, you're not safe here, we have to get you out - " Zack paused as he caught sight of what looked like a digital alarm clock on Cloud's bookshelf, the red LED numbers ticking down...

" _Shit_!" Zack shouted. In two strides, he was at Cloud's bedside, yanking the bewildered cadet up by the shoulder, bringing him to his feet. "Now, Cloud, now!" he yelled. "We have to go now, there's a bomb in here!"

"Oh Gaia," Cloud murmured, paling. "Who- why - "

"We'll figure out why and who why later, Spikey," Zack muttered, the endearment slipping out without either of them realizing it. He grabbed Cloud by the shoulders and steered him toward the door.

"My boots - " Cloud muttered as they'd reached the doorway.

"They'll issue new ones Cloud, don't worry," Zack replied. "So long as you're safe, that's all I care about - " They were now out in the hallway, and Zack turned his head in horror as he heard a _ping_ from the room behind him.

_It's gonna blow_ , he realized, horror-struck as he shielded Cloud's body with his own, and threw himself on top of the cadet just as the bomb detonated. Cloud hit the floor with a thud, and felt bits of wood and plaster raining down upon him and Zack.

"...Zack..." Cloud muttered, coughing, as the dust cleared. "Zack!" He tried turning up to face Zack, whose dead weight was impeding Cloud's movements. Flanard was sitting up against the wall, dazed as he'd hit his head against a doorjam in the blast. "Ohh," he moaned, clutching his head.

"Zack!" Cloud cried, panicking, shaking Zack and trying to rouse him. "Zack, please...oh gods, please be okay!" _This is all my fault. He only came here for me._

"Geez," Zack murmured, coughing up dust as he slowly came to. "That was a hell of a parade," he said, attempting a smile. Zack tried sitting up as quickly as he could, realizing he was laying on top of Cloud in what could be seen as a compromising position _. Not that Flanard's exactly with it_ , Zack thought, glancing over at the dazed Sergeant. "Flanard!" Zack shouted. "You okay?"

The sergeant nodded and pulled out his radio. "Calling for medical," he mumbled, punching in a code.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Zack," Cloud whispered, placing a hand tentatively on his, and quickly jerked it away, fearful that someone might see them.

"Me too, Cloud," Zack replied. He brushed his hand against Cloud's cheek and gazed tenderly at him; then, frowning, he reached his hand back behind his own head, pulling a piece of broken ceiling tile out of his raven hair.

"Ow," he muttered, grimacing. "Well. Apparently these assholes paid attention during the Turks' bomb-making seminar."

"...They blew up my room," Cloud murmured, as the horror of what had happened sank in. " _They blew up my fucking room_!" he shouted angrily. "Who did this!"

"Asshole friends of Fredo's," Zack replied, sighing. "Don't worry, Cloud, they've been detained. And will be charged with attempted murder, now," he added somberly.

"Why does everyone hate me?" Cloud asked, his lip trembling. Really, growing up in Nibelheim and being picked on was one thing; but nobody had ever tried to _blow him up_ before.

"They don't all hate you," Zack retorted. "Hey, you hit it off with Dill and Zane, right? Don't let this get to you, Cloud, these were just some assholes with an axe to grind playing follow the leader." Zack realized how hollow his words sounded as soon as he uttered them. _'Don't let this get to you?' Gods. They tried to fucking kill him, his own classmates!_ The thought of a world without Cloud suddenly gnawed at Zack, and he embraced him, not giving a damn who saw them.

"I'm sorry, Cloud," Zack whispered. "I should have gotten here sooner."

"Why are you apologizing?" Cloud asked him. "I should be apologizing to _you_ ," he said stubbornly. "You're only here because of me."

"And why should you apologize for that, Cloud?" Zack asked him, stroking his face. "Of course I'm here. The minute I heard about the bomb threat - "

"You ran right over here, didn't you," Cloud said accusingly, grimacing. He sighed. "I should be thanking you, instead of...this," he said softly. "Thank you, Zack. You - you saved my life." It suddenly occurred to Cloud, how close he'd come to dying, and he shuddered.

"Thank Gaia," Zack said, letting out a breath. "Well," Zack said, standing up slowly, as he surveyed the damage behind him. "Your room is toast, Cloud. I'm sorry you lost all of your stuff...we'll come back another time and see if anything's salvageable, okay?"

"Well, I guess I don't have to worry about decorating my walls now, do I?" Cloud said sarcastically.

Zack grinned. "Nope. Guess not."

"And I don't think Dill will be able to fix what's left of my laptop, either," Cloud remarked. "Where the hell am I going to stay now?" he wondered out loud.

"With me," Zack offered without hesitation. "Um, until they find you alternate housing, Cloud. You can stay with me. I have a futon - "

Cloud felt his pulse skyrocketing again. _Staying at Zack's place?_ He swallowed, not even sure how to reply to the offer. Part of him said he should refuse the generous offer, and maybe try to crash with Dill and Zane. The other part of him wondered what it would be like to wake up with Zack in the morning.

"Thank you," Cloud said timidly, "but...I really shouldn't impose."

"Somehow I knew you'd say that, Cloud," Zack replied, sighing. "Which is why I'm not taking no for an answer. It'll probably be a night or two at the most, before they get you set up somewhere else," he added.

"Medics are on their way, Commander," Sergeant Flanard informed him. "Gods," he murmured, as he slowly stood and made his way over to Zack and Cloud, peering into what had once been Cloud's room. "Some of our cadets did this, am I hearing that right?"

Zack nodded, frowning. "Yeah. I'll debrief you later, Sergeant. "Ugly situation. Cloud was their target."

"We're all lucky to be alive," Flanard murmured. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a flask of whiskey; Flanard unscrewed the cap and threw some back. "Have some," he said, handing it to Zack as he wiped the back of his mouth with his hand. "We damned well need it. You too, Cloud."

Cloud nodded as the flask was passed to Zack, then to him. With trembling hands, he took hold of it, and gulped the amber liquid down, feeling it burn in his chest. He coughed slightly, but smiled as he handed the flask back to Flanard. "Thank you, sir. I needed that." Flanard nodded, and took another swig for himself before capping the flask.

"It's getting late," Zack remarked. "Listen, Cloud – I would imagine you'll be excused from your classes tomorrow, given everything that happened this evening – "

"No," Cloud interrupted, shaking his head stubbornly. He saw Flanard cast him a curious glance, and decided he should probably address Zack formally. "With all due respect, sir, I don't want that. These…idiots took away enough from me. I want to go to my classes tomorrow. All of them. Please, sir."

"Atta boy, Cloud," Zack said admiringly, clapping Cloud on the shoulder. Really, he wanted to wrap Cloud in a tight hug, but not with Flanard present. "If the medics say it's okay, then fine by me. Zack looked at his watch, frowning. "After midnight already," he remarked. "I know you're due in Angeal's class by oh-seven-hundred hours tomorrow morning. Oh, medics are here, finally," he commented, as he glanced up to see the Shinra EMT's approaching, medical kits in hand. "Let's get ourselves checked out here, Cloud. Once we're cleared, we'll head back to my quarters so you can get some rest."

"But I – " Cloud interrupted, weakly protesting.

"And no buts, Cloud," Zack said, cutting him off. "You're coming with me, and that's _final_." He smiled at Cloud and gave him a wink, unseen by Flanard, who was waving the EMT's over.

"Okay, then," Cloud relented, smiling. "Gods, you can be very stubborn, you know."

Zack laughed so hard he felt tears starting. " _Me_?" he said incredulously. "I'm the stubborn one?"

"Well," Cloud admitted. "Maybe we both are." He smiled as Zack led him over to one of the EMT's, and allowed them to examine him. _How on Gaia am I going to get any sleep at all tonight?_ Cloud fretted as the paramedics checked him and out for any injuries. _Me…and Zack…alone in his room. No way am I going to be able to relax enough to sleep!_

Tomorrow was going to be a _very_ long day, Cloud thought.


	3. Nearly Lost You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things continue to escalate as threats are made against Cloud, with deadly results.

_I nearly, I nearly lost you there_   
_And it's taken us somewhere_   
_I nearly lost you there_   
_Well let's try to sleep now_

**Nearly Lost You - Screaming Trees**

 

* * *

Zack and Cloud were quickly examined by the Shinra paramedics, and were relieved to learn that nothing was broken or sprained. Cloud was still a bit sore from when Zack had thrown himself on top of him, but it was nothing he couldn't live with. _I could have been a lot worse than just sore_ , Cloud mused grimly, as he looked sadly upon the pile of debris that had once been his room.

"Everything I had is gone," he murmured to himself as he stood in the doorway, just staring at the mess of exploded drywall and wood that littered his dorm room. Zack had come up behind the cadet, and overheard his comment; he felt absolutely awful for how Cloud's first week had gone horribly wrong. _Need to turn things around for him_ , Zack thought determinedly. _This just isn't right._ He put a hand on Cloud's shoulder and stooped down slightly to speak softly in his ear. "We'll make this right, Cloud," he vowed. "I know how much this must suck, but you can always get new things. The important thing is that you're okay."

Cloud turned to face Zack, sighing, as he brushed a single tear away. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry," he whispered, his lip trembling. "But it just hit me all over again. I'm...so embarrassed," he confessed, choking back a sob. "Please don't laugh at me, Zack."

The soldier frowned at this. "Why would I laugh at you, Cloud?" he asked, surprised. "You've been through hell today, of course you're upset. Listen," Zack continued. "I have to debrief my men on what happened here, now that we're patched up. I'm going to walk you over to my quarters - and I'm stationing a guard outside until I get back, just in case. Not to worry you or anything like that, but I am _not_ taking any chances with your safety, after what happened today."

"You're going to too much trouble for me, Zack," Cloud muttered. "And I appreciate it, I do - I just feel like...I've imposed so much already."

"You haven't," Zack replied kindly. "Honestly, I would do this anyone who'd been through the same thing. It just so happens though, that I like you." He shot a brilliant smile at Cloud, and wrapped him in a quick, brotherly type of hug. It took everything in Zack to not kiss Cloud at that moment, but as there were still other soldiers and paramedics milling about, he restrained himself.

"So," Zack said, releasing himself from Cloud. "You'll need some clothing...toiletries, that sort of thing. I think I have an extra toothbrush in my bathroom closet; other than that, I'll requisition some new uniforms for you, boots...anything else you're missing?"

"Well, just my personal items," Cloud replied. "My cell phone, laptop...MP3 player..."

"I'll see if I can get you a company cell phone, then," Zack told him. "Normally those are reserved for SOLDIERS, but I think these are pretty unusual circumstances..."

"Yeah, I'll say," Cloud said bitterly. "Am I the first cadet who was nearly blown up? Gods," he said, paling as he suddenly thought about his mother. "My mom _cannot_ hear about this Zack. I'm serious. She'll pull me out."

"So that means you don't want to withdraw anymore?" Zack said hopefully, smiling. "It's up to you, Cloud, whether or not you want to tell her. I can talk to her if you want..." Cloud turned bright red at the suggestion. _Zack talking to my mom? It's almost like bringing your boyfriend home to meet your parents,_ he thought. _Boyfriend? Oh gods. We're not...at that point yet. Are we?_

He looked up and saw Zack waving excitedly to another soldier. "Kunsel!" he shouted. "Get over here, man. Got someone I want you to meet," Zack added, smiling at Cloud.

"Zack," Kunsel said as he approached, grabbing Zack's hand in a brotherly handshake. "What in the hell happened here? We got our orders from the general, but no specifics."

"Yeah," Zack said, nodding. "I'm sure the general just wanted everyone to move, pronto. In a nutshell, Cloud here had been targeted by some fellow cadets, who planted a bomb in his room," he said, pointing at the debris just behind him. "It detonated right after I got here."

Kunsel let out a low whistle. "Wow. I can't believe some of our own did this," he muttered. "That's horrible."

"You're not kidding," Zack replied, frowning. "Oh, Kunsel. This is Cloud Strife...Cloud, this is Kunsel, he's a fellow SOLDIER, Second class."

"Yeah, because we can't _all_ be Firsts, can we?" Kunsel said teasingly. He smiled at Cloud, and extended his hand. "Nice to meet you, Cloud," he murmured, shaking the cadet's hand.

"Nice to meet you too, Kunsel," Cloud replied, smiling shyly. "I was just asking Zack...if anything like this has ever happened before, at the academy."

"This is a first, as far as I can remember," Kunsel replied, with Zack nodding in agreement.

"Yeah," Zack remarked. "We've had our share of fights and such to break up...but nobody's ever gone to these lengths to retaliate against a fellow cadet."

"Fabulous," Cloud retorted, rolling his eyes. "Kind of a dubious honor for me, isn't it?"

Zack's face fell slightly and he sighed. "Cloud, I wish I could have prevented this. I really do," he said apologetically. "Kunsel," Zack continued, turning to the Second Class SOLDIER. "Got an assignment for you. I need to debrief everyone along with the general shortly. Now, Cloud's going to crash at my place tonight. All of the suspects in the bombing have been detained, but still, just to be safe, I'd like to station a guard outside my quarters until I get back. Can you do it?"

"Not a problem, Zack," Kunsel said easily. "Want to head over there now?"

"Yeah, let's do that," Zack replied. "Cloud? You ready?"

"I guess," Cloud said quietly, sighing. He looked back into his room one last time. "I don't think there's anything I can salvage in here."

"Well, this room will be cordoned off soon, as they investigate," Zack told him. "Although it seems pretty clear-cut as to what happened."

They exited the building, walking the short distance from the west quad over to the officer's building. Zack's room was the third one on the right, after they entered the foyer. He unlocked the door and ushered both Cloud and Kunsel inside.

"Well, this is it," he remarked, throwing his keys on the counter in the small kitchenette. "It's not huge, but it's home."

"This is nice," Cloud murmured as he looked around. "It must be nice to have your own kitchen, too."

"I'm not such a bad cook, either," Zack replied, grinning. "Maybe I'll make dinner for you sometime, Cloud."

"That...would be nice," Cloud said, smiling. "So...I'll take the futon, then?"

Kunsel went into Zack's refrigerator without a word, and grabbed a bottled water for himself. "Anyone else want one?" he asked, smirking.

Zack chuckled. "Uh, why not go ahead and help yourself, Kunsel! Geez!" he said teasingly. "And Cloud...you don't have to take the futon, I will. You can sleep in my bed," he offered.

Cloud felt his heart begin to pound rapidly. _Me...in Zack's bed?  
_ __  
"Zack, no...really, I couldn't - " Cloud protested.

"If you keep arguing with me like that, Cloud," Zack said jokingly, "I'll start to think you don't like me or something!"

"You know that's not true," Cloud whispered, smiling shyly.

"Come with me," Zack whispered, grabbing Cloud by the arm and steering him toward the bedroom. "Hey, Kunsel - I'm going to show Cloud around, and get him some pajamas to wear." Cloud froze for a moment, his thoughts racing; not only would he be sleeping in Zack's bed, now he'd be wearing the man's clothing. _Dear Gaia, I may faint_ , he worried.

Zack placed his hand lightly on Cloud's back, and guided him toward the bedroom. "Down the hall, here," he said softly. "Here's where you'll be staying. Um, sorry about the clothes on the floor," Zack said, sheepishly grinning. He stooped and picked up an assortment of dirty laundry, and threw it into a hamper in his closet. "Didn't know I'd be having company, or I would have picked up everything."

"I really can't thank you enough, Zack," Cloud told him quietly, looking up at him with wide blue eyes. "You've been so nice to me."

"I got scared today, Cloud," Zack admitted. He glanced quickly behind him, espying that the bedroom door was slightly ajar, and Kunsel was nowhere in sight. Zack pulled Cloud to his chest in a warm, tight hug, and he kissed the top of his head. "Just like that…you came into my life, and just like that, I nearly lost you. I'm so glad that didn't happen, though." Zack cupped Cloud's cheeks with his hands, framing his face, and bent down to kiss him.

Cloud felt something come undone inside him at Zack's words, and he put his arms up around the soldier's neck, pulling him down as he tentatively eased his tongue into Zack's mouth, letting out soft little groans and sighs as he did so. Zack moaned as he felt Cloud's tongue against his own, and kissed Cloud even harder. Moments later, Zack reluctantly broke the kiss. "We...we can't do this right now," Zack muttered, panting. "As much as I want to continue, gods...I have to go to that debriefing. Damn."

"I understand," Cloud replied, nodding. "Plus...Kunsel's outside."

Zack laughed. "Yeah. Don't worry about Kunsel, though. He's my best friend, Cloud...I know he'll be understanding when I tell him about us."

"Oh," Cloud said blankly. It made him a bit nervous knowing that Zack planned to tell others about their budding relationship, but he said nothing to about this to Zack. "Well...that's good."

Checking his watch again, Zack groaned, and went over to his dresser, opening the middle drawer. He pulled out a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt, and handed the folded pile of clothing to Cloud. "These might be big on you, Cloud," he warned him. "But it's better than nothing." Zack flushed suddenly, as he visualized Cloud wearing absolutely nothing.

_Gods, I'd like to see him in nothing..._ Zack shook his head, clearing his thoughts, and smiled awkwardly at Cloud, shifting back and forth nervously. "Ah...so, the bathroom, we just passed, first door on the right as you come down the hall - feel free to take a shower or whatever.

And if you want to watch TV in the living room, feel free. My home is your home," he told Cloud, smiling broadly.

"Thank you, Zack," Cloud murmured, trying to still his heartbeat, which seemed be spiraling out of control since Zack had kissed him. "I, um...think I'll probably just take a shower and go to bed."

"Okay, then," Zack replied, nodding. He quickly kissed Cloud again, and sighed. "Gods, I wish I didn't have to go..." he muttered, looking longingly at Cloud.

"Don't worry about me," Cloud replied, smiling. They exited the bedroom, and proceeded out to the kitchen, where Kunsel was draining his bottled water, punctuating this with a loud burp.

"Excuse _you_ , Kunsel," Zack teased. "Do I have any water left, or did you drink it all?"

"Oh quit it, Zack!" Kunsel snorted. "It's not like you haven't done the same, raiding _my_ fridge."

"Don't be an ass," Zack retorted, grinning. "Anyway, I've gotta get going. I showed Cloud where everything is, so he's all set for the night. See you guys later...and thanks again, Kunsel." Zack turned back, glancing at Cloud again as he had one hand on the doorknob. "Bye, Cloud," he said softly, with a smile and a wave.

He door shut behind him, and Kunsel nodded at Cloud. "He fancies you, you know," Kunsel remarked. "I can tell."

"What?" Cloud blurted, surprised at Kunsel's candor. "How - how did you know?"

Kunsel laughed. "I've known Zack a long time, Cloud," he replied easily. "And I saw the way he looked at you."

Cloud turned beet red, and wished for the floor to open up and swallow him. "Are - are we that obvious?" he asked in a near whisper.

"So the feeling's mutual, then," Kunsel observed, nodding. "I kind of figured. Don't worry...I won't tell anyone."

"O-okay," Cloud stammered nervously, scratching his head. "Zack...said you'd be understanding, actually, when he told you about us. But I guess you figured it out anyway."

"I'm good at reading people," Kunsel replied, grinning. "Just be careful, Cloud. If Zack's ever your instructor, for a class...well, it could be a conflict of interest, you know."

"I don't want him to lose his job because of me," Cloud fretted. "That's the last thing I'd want."

"It'll be okay, Cloud," Kunsel assured him. "You worry a lot, don't you?" he asked, looking curiously at Cloud.

The cadet shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so," he replied indifferently. "I suppose I've got a lot on my mind," he added, sighing.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about everything you've been through, Cloud," Kunsel said softly. "Maybe you should get some rest. Don't worry...I'll be right out here, until Zack gets back."

"Okay," Cloud agreed, nodding. "I'll just take a shower and go to bed, then. Thanks for listening, Kunsel."

"My pleasure," Kunsel replied, smiling. As Cloud padded back down the hallway, Kunsel took a seat in a chair just near the front door. _Seems like a nice kid_ , Kunsel thought, as he settled into his seat. _Hope Zack doesn't break his heart, though_ , he mused. _And I hope he's got that girl out of his system by now, that flower girl…what was her name again?_

 

* * *

The hour was late, and many of the SOLDIERS present at the debriefing had been asleep, or about to turn in for the evening, when the bomb threat was made, and Sephiroth called for all hands on deck. As a result, most of the men present were bleary-eyed, exhausted, and forcing themselves to stay awake to listen to Sephiroth's debriefing.

They'd gathered in the SOLDIER training room, and all fell silent as they waited for the general to speak. Sephiroth made his way to the front of the room, flanked by Zack on his left hand side, and Genesis and Angeal on his right. Also present, but off to the side, were Tseng, Reno, and Rude, comprising the Turks.

Sephiroth stared out at the gathered crowd dispassionately. "Gentlemen," he began. "I'll try to make this brief. As most of you are aware, today we had an incident involving a threat against a new student here. And, as you are all aware, I do not take such threats lightly. This threat, in fact, was put into action, when a group of students decided to plant a bomb in the dorm room of one of our cadets," Sephiroth said icily. Zack felt his stomach drop slightly at the mention of the bomb being planted.

"Thankfully, Commander Fair here was able to get the targeted cadet to safety before the bomb detonated." Sephiroth glanced over at Zack, and nodded an acknowledgement at him. "There was an incident earlier today that precipitated this entire chain of events...and I'll let Zack take it from here." Sephiroth nodded again, and stepped back as Zack stepped forward to address the men.

"Hey everyone," Zack began. "First of all, I want to thank everyone for reporting to their posts so quickly, and for evacuating the students. No injuries were suffered, but there's significant property damage to the cadet's room. And, as the general mentioned, there was an incident earlier today that triggered everything." Zack cleared his throat before continuing. "At approximately oh-fifteen-hundred hours today, Commander Hewley and I walked in upon an attempted sexual assault taking place in the men's locker room." Zack's expression hardened; he clenched and unclenched his fists tightly as he went on, choking down his rage as he recalled the scene.

"The assailant was escorted out by Commander Hewley, and was immediately expelled by General Sephiroth. The Turks took care of transporting the former cadet off of the property, and back to his home via helicopter," Zack said, glancing over at the three assembled Turks. "General Sephiroth felt this would be the quickest, most efficient way to make sure he was off the premises."

"Unfortunately," Zack continued, "after that, the former cadet apparently emailed some of his friends here, asking them to teach the victim a lesson. The Turks intercepted the email correspondence between the assailant and his friends. This group of boys took it upon themselves to take what they'd learned in today's bomb-making seminar, and constructed a bomb, which they then placed in the victim's dorm room. Myself and Sergeant Flanard arrived just as the bomb was about to detonate."

"I'd like to add," Sephiroth cut in, "that while the identities of both the victim and the assailant have been revealed to the First through Third class Soldiers, this information is not to be shared with the student body, or otherwise made public. Is that clear?" The assembled group nodded and murmured in understanding. "Thank you," Sephiroth concluded. "You're all dismissed."

_Shit_ , Zack thought, frowning _. I think I broke protocol by leaving Kunsel with Cloud. Damn it, Sephiroth's not going to be happy about this._

"Uh, General?" Zack began hesitantly, trying to get Sephiroth's attention. The general turned, gazing at Zack impassively.

"Yes?" Sephiroth answered. "What is it, Zack?"

"Just wanted to mention," Zack explained, "that I asked Kunsel to stand guard over Cloud during the debriefing. I know that isn't the usual procedure, but...everything happened so quickly, with the bomb going off and everything..."

"You know the protocol, Zack," Sephiroth replied slowly, frowning at Zack. He sighed, then folded his arms over his chest. "You should have placed Cadet Strife in protective custody, in lockup."

Zack felt the anger rising in him, and was ready to snap at Sephiroth, but held himself back. _Is he serious? Throw Cloud in jail to keep him safe? I know it's been done, but damn it, Cloud has been through enough today!_

"With all due respect, sir," Zack said, trying to keep his voice steady, "I felt the cadet had been through enough trauma already today – and, Kunsel was right there, so I decided to assign the task to him."

"That was rather impetuous of you, wasn't it?" Sephiroth replied, raising an eyebrow. His mouth twisted into an odd grin, and he asked Zack, "You…care for this boy, don't you?"

Zack nodded. "I care for his well-being, yes," he replied vaguely. He looked around him, not wanting anyone eavesdropping on the conversation, and was relieved to see that the training room began to empty out.

Sephiroth laughed sharply. "I think it's a bit more than that, isn't it Zachary?" he asked pointedly, tilting his head to the side as he regarded Zack curiously.

"Who told you that?" Zack retorted guiltily. The general's line of questioning was making him nervous. Sephiroth moved in closer, and dropped his voice to a low murmur. "Look, Zack," he said. "I'm not about to tell anyone what to do in their personal lives. But you were seen kissing Cadet Strife earlier this evening. Just…be careful, Zack. That's all I'm saying."

"What?" Zack sputtered. _Great, someone's spying on me now!_ "Who told you this?" he demanded. "Were you having me followed, Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth shook his head negatively. "No, no, no," he said, trying to reassure Zack. "Nothing of the kind. Let's just say that there are some in this company who run to me any time they observe my SOLDIERS doing anything they perceive as untoward. Ass-kissers, is what they are," he said, smirking slightly. "I thought I would mention it to you, though….just to make you aware. You, along with any other SOLDIER – there's always going to be someone wanting to climb ranks who will watch your every move, and apparently will not hesitate to run to me. You're a good soldier, Zack - just be careful. That's all I'm saying."

"Well, that's creepy," Zack muttered, frowning. "Thanks for letting me know, sir. And thanks for not…judging me. If there's nothing else, I'll see you tomorrow, general." Zack saluted, and turned to leave, yawning as exhaustion began to set in.

"One more thing, Zack," Sephiroth called. The soldier turned around to regard Sephiroth. "What is it?" he asked.

"About Cadet Strife," Sephiroth said. "As you mentioned, he did go through a great ordeal today; if he needs time to recover, he is excused from classes for the remainder of the week."

"Thank you, sir," Zack replied, grinning. "As a matter of fact, Cloud brought that up already, earlier. He said he didn't want to miss any of his classes…that his assailants took enough away from him already. Cloud intends on attending all his classes tomorrow."

"Very admirable," Sephiroth murmured, apparently impressed. "Very admirable indeed. Well, Zack…please give Cadet Strife my regards. Should he need anything at all, he can either let you know, or contact me directly."

"Actually, he does need new uniforms and boots issued to him," Zack said, suddenly remembering. "Oh! And his cell phone. Obviously, all of his electronics were destroyed in the blast – "

"Consider it done," Sephiroth replied, pulling out his cell phone. "I'll requisition everything myself, and have it sent to your quarters. New uniforms, whatever else he needs. Obviously…this could be seen as a black mark on the academy," the general said gravely. "I'd like to do what I can to set things right."

"It's much appreciated, sir," Zack said gratefully. "I'll…be heading back to my quarters now, and I'll talk with you in the morning." Sephiroth nodded and waved absently to Zack, as he dialed his cell phone.

 

* * *

The bluish glow from the numerals on Zack's digital alarm clock, resting harmlessly on the end table next to the bed, glared in Cloud's face; the dim light kept him awake for some time as he tossed and turned and relived the evening's events. And, keeping an ear peeled for Zack's return was yet another reason sleep escaped the cadet.

He stared at the clock again and shuddered underneath the down comforter on Zack's bed; the LED display reminded him of the hastily rigged bomb that had been planted in his room.

Cloud shuddered again, and drew the covers up tightly around his chin. He was certain Kunsel must still be outside, though he couldn't hear him.  
Yawning, Cloud glanced at the clock again before closing his eyes, in a last ditch effort to fall asleep _. It's after one in the morning_ , he thought sleepily. _I never heard Zack come in…wonder if he did, and I just didn't hear him._ Cloud hugged the pillow next to him – Zack's pillow – and held it to his chest, inhaling Zack's scent. He smiled as he curled himself up in a ball and drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

Zack shuffled tiredly down the hallway, back toward his quarters. He yawned as he sleepily extracted his keys from his pants pocket, and unlocked the door. He smiled at Kunsel - still on guard, and still awake, although he was clearly exhausted. Kunsel was sitting in his chair by the door, keeping watch, a blaster gun in his lap. He jerked his head up slightly at Zack's entrance, then relaxed as he saw who it was.

"Hey, Kunsel," Zack said quietly. "Everything okay here?"

Kunsel nodded affirmatively. "All's quiet. Cloud went to bed hours ago. Haven't heard a peep."

"Good," Zack replied, relieved. "Poor guy's been through a lot today."  
"Yeah, I know," Kunsel said. "Hey…Zack?" he began hesitantly. "Cloud told me about you two. Well, I kind of figured it out myself, but he confirmed it."

"Oh, wonderful," Zack groaned. "It's not like I want to keep it a big secret…and honestly, we're only just getting to know each other. But the general had a few words with me tonight about that…telling me to be careful, that sort of thing. Would you believe, Kunsel…some grunt ran to the general and tattled on me? Told Sephiroth that he saw Cloud and I kissing earlier. Fucking unbelievable," Zack said in disgust.

"Sadly, I'm not surprised," Kunsel replied, shrugging his shoulders. "You do have to be careful though, Zack. Wait, just hear me out," the Second pleaded, as Zack began to protest. "There's a lot of jealousy of the Firsts, amongst the rest of the company. And a lot of ambitious men…women now, too, who won't hesitate to knock you down in order to help themselves advance."

"Pretty damned cutthroat," Zack observed, sighing. "Well, thanks, Kunsel. For everything, man. Oh…I kind of got reamed for assigning you to guard Cloud…and of course, Cloud's identity as the victim isn't public knowledge, so if you could keep that info to yourself?"

"Goes without saying," Kunsel assured him. "I think it's a stupid rule about putting a victim into protective custody in a case like this, but anyway. And you know I won't say anything to anyone about Cloud, Zack."

"I know you won't, Kunsel," Zack said appreciatively. "It's just that Sephiroth gave me hell for assigning you to stand guard, and not putting Cloud in lockup. Lockup," he repeated. "Can you believe that?"

"Yeah, put the victim in jail," Kunsel replied, rolling his eyes. "Makes perfect sense," he said sarcastically. "Hey, I'm heading out now, Zack. See you tomorrow." Zack walked Kunsel to the door, and ushered him out.

"Thanks again, man," Zack said, clapping Kunsel on the shoulder. "You're a good friend."

"Likewise," Kunsel replied, grinning. "I'll be back soon to raid your fridge."

"Shut up and go!" Zack retorted, chuckling. "Bye." He shut the door behind his friend, and leaned against the back of it, rubbing his eyes as exhaustion set in. "I have to get some sleep," Zack said to himself. It was now two in the morning, he noted, as he looked at his watch. Sighing wearily, he kicked off his boots, and dragged himself down the hallway, disrobing and shedding articles of clothing as he did so. By the time he reached his bedroom door, he was in his boxers shorts.

_Got to check on Cloud_ , he thought, opening the door as quietly as he could. Squinting, he could barely make out Cloud's form in his bed, the blond spiked hair backlit by the moonlight streaming in through the bedroom window. Zack smiled tenderly, and crept in as silently as possible, wanting to get a closer look at him.

"So beautiful," Zack whispered, kneeling by the side of the bed. He grinned as his ears picked up on Cloud's light snoring. Zack sniffed, and made a face. _Gods, I need a shower_ , he thought, wrinkling his nose. He crept out of the bedroom as quietly as he'd crept in, and tiptoed into the bathroom off of the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

Zack stripped off his shorts and jumped into the shower, turning the water on full blast, as hot as he could stand it. He felt some of the day's stresses just melting away, beneath the hot spray. Zack groaned as he looked down, and realized that certain parts of his anatomy were _not_ tired. Not in the least. In his mind's eye, he could once again see Cloud's lithe body lying in the bed, glowing in the pale moonlight.

_He looks like an angel when he's sleeping_ , Zack thought, smiling down at the cadet.

_Great time for a hard-on_ , Zack mused, annoyed, as he soaped himself off, and brushed his hand against his stiff member. _There's no way I'll be able to sleep unless I take care of this_ , he thought. He cleaned himself up, and leaned back against the cool tiles of the shower, widening his stance slightly as he wrapped his hand around his cock and began to gently stroke, working his way into a stead rhythm. His breathing grew erratic and ragged the faster his hand moved. "Oh, _fuck_!" Zack moaned as he slipped and hit his head against the tiled wall; his exclamation slipping out despite his best efforts to remain quiet. _Shit_ , Zack worried. _I hope I don't wake him…_

Too late. Cloud bolted awake the moment Zack's head bumped against the tile. He sat upright in the bed, straining his ears to try and hear what, if anything, had woken him so suddenly. Cloud heard the sound of running water, and quickly figured out that someone was taking a shower…probably Zack. _Maybe I should see if Kunsel's still here?_ he thought. _And I'll get a drink of water while I'm up._

Cloud quietly got out of the bed, and headed out into the hallway. He squinted down toward the end, and saw that all of the lights were off in the kitchen and living area, where Kunsel had been stationed. Tiptoeing along, Cloud saw a slit of light underneath the bathroom door. _Yeah, that must be Zack taking a shower_ , the cadet realized. He crept along until he reached the bathroom, his pulse increasing with the knowledge that Zack was _naked_ on the other side of that door.

Putting his ear to the door, Cloud gasped when he heard what sounded like moaning coming from inside. _Is he…?_ Cloud wondered, his mouth hanging open as he strained to hear. _Oh gods…he is!_ Cloud felt rooted to the spot, unable to move as he listened in _. I shouldn't be doing this…shouldn't be eavesdropping, gods!_

"Almost…there," Zack muttered, panting, losing himself in the moment, and completely forgot his efforts to be as quiet as possible. " _Damn it_!" he said, breathing raggedly, as he came in his clenched hand, swaying beneath the hot water flowing from the showerhead. _Shit, that was out loud_ , Zack thought, fretting. He quickly cleaned himself up in the shower, and cut the water off, sighing as he felt the tension leave his body.

Meanwhile, Cloud was frozen where he stood, fearing that Zack would emerge and suddenly see him. There was no way he'd be able to run back to the bedroom in time, and feign that he was sleeping, so he decided to back out of the bathroom carefully, and pretend that he was just entering. Taking a deep breath, Cloud walked backwards, then took one step forward, rapping on the door. "Zack?" Cloud said hesitantly. "You in there?"

"Ah, hold on, Cloud!" Zack replied, fumbling for his bath towel. "I'll – be right there!" He quickly toweled his raven spikes off, then wrapped the bath towel around his waist.

"It's okay!" Cloud called through the door, wanting to make a graceful exit, and quickly. "I just thought I heard something…I'm heading back to bed now – " Cloud stood there, blinking in the bright light of the bathroom, as Zack flung the door open.

"Hi," Zack murmured, smiling down at Cloud. Water was teeming off of Zack's body in small rivulets, pooling around his feet as it traveled south.

"Uh…" Cloud stammered, staring nervously at a dripping wet, half-nude Zack. "I, uh…didn't mean to bother you, Zack. I should go back to bed…"

"I'm sorry if I woke you, Cloud," Zack said, stepping forward, closing in the space between himself and Cloud. The cadet could feel warmth radiating off of Zack's body, still heated from the shower; it made him gasp aloud, and the sensation went straight to his groin.

"It's – it's okay," Cloud muttered nervously. "I just...thought I heard something, so I decided to get up and get a drink of water. Did you just get back from the debriefing?" he continued, babbling nervously. "Gods, you must be exhausted..."

Zack sighed, then yawned. "Yeah, I am," he replied. "I'll be okay, though. I should be able to get a few hours sleep if I hit the rack after I dry off here." The First froze as Cloud's words registered in his brain: **_I thought I heard something._** _Gods, he didn't hear me in the shower, did he?_ Zack wondered, suddenly mortified. He decided to ignore the topic entirely, and hoped that Cloud would not bring it up.  
Cloud was nodding as Zack came out of his thoughts. "Okay, I won't keep you up then...you need to get your sleep. I'll see you in the morning," Cloud said, smiling shyly as he turned to leave.

"Hey, hold up, Cloud," Zack murmured. "Don't forget your drink of water. And this," he whispered, pulling Cloud close to his chest and gently kissing him. "Good night, my Chocobo," he whispered, grinning. "I'll make us breakfast in the morning, okay?"

"Chocobo? That's uh...cute," Cloud said, smiling. "Okay, then. Good night, Zack. I'll just grab a drink in the kitchen, and uh...let you get dressed." His voice came out in an embarrassing squeak, and Cloud's cheeks pinked slightly. Zack nodded as Cloud exited the bathroom, staring wistfully at his retreating form, appearing even smaller than he really was, as the soldier's clothing hung loosely off of his smaller frame.

Zack shut the door quietly after Cloud had left, and stripped his towel off, rubbing the rest of his body dry. He glanced into the mirror above the sink, wiping away the condensation with his hand. He stared at his reflection, lost in his own thoughts for a moment. As much as he knew he needed to sleep - and Cloud needed to sleep - Zack wanted nothing more right that minute than to slip under the covers behind Cloud, slowly undress him, and then...

_Yeah. And then..._ Zack thought, sighing. _Shit_. _I can't stop thinking about him...am I falling in love with Cloud?_ _Or is it just a sudden infatuation?_

"Tired as hell," Zack mumbled at his reflection. "I'll...think about it tomorrow, I guess." He brushed his teeth, then pulled on a clean pair of boxer shorts, and crept out toward the living room, where he set himself up on the futon with a pillow and blanket. Cloud was nowhere in sight; presumably he'd gotten his drink of water, and headed back to bed. Zack was fast asleep, mere moments after his head hit the pillow.

 

* * *

The first indication that he'd forgotten to shut the blinds - and, a harsh reminder that it was time to get up for the day - was a brilliant shaft of sunlight piercing the darkness in Zack's living room, shining through his closed eyelid, and waking him. Zack groaned as he shifted on the futon, grimacing as he straightened out his stiffened limbs. The futon was definitely not as comfortable as Zack's oversized bed; he smiled as he remembered just who was currently occupying said bed.

_Wonder if he's awake_ , Zack thought, as he swung his legs over the side of the futon and slowly stood up, stretching his arms over his head as he yawned. _Think I'll take a peek and see._ He quietly tiptoed down the hallway toward the end; the bedroom door was ajar just a crack, so Zack nudged it open carefully. _Still asleep_ , Zack noted, grinning. He crept forward carefully, hoping to surprise Cloud by waking him up with a kiss, when suddenly - the alarm clock on the bedside table suddenly began blaring music. "Shit," Zack groaned. "The alarm!" Cloud jerked awake at the sudden noise, grumbling as he stirred. "Damn, that's loud," he mumbled, fumbling around for the snooze button. "Just five more minutes..." he said sleepily.

"Uh-uh," Zack said, grinning. He hesitated, wanting to slip under the covers behind Cloud and wrap his arms around the cadet's lithe young body, but decided against it, and sat on the side of the bed, stroking Cloud's hair. "Wake up, gorgeous," he said softly. "Time to get up!"

"No," Cloud mumbled sleepily. "Don't want to." He opened one bleary eye and regarded Zack, suddenly realizing where he was, and whose bed he was in. Sitting up quickly, he rubbed his eyes and grinned over at Zack. "Uh…sorry," Cloud murmured in apology. "I'm not a morning person."

"I'm not either," Zack replied, smiling easily. "Not really, anyway. Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, I did," Cloud said. "I can't thank you enough for letting me stay, Zack – "

Zack held up a hand, hushing Cloud. "Seriously, don't even mention it," he interrupted. "It was my pleasure."

"Oh, and I found something in the bed here," Cloud said, chuckling. He reached underneath the adjacent pillow and slid his hand underneath –  
 _Shit! Not my porn!_ Zack fretted. "Ah…what'd you find, Cloud?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant, a guilty look on his face.

"I found _this_ ," Cloud said, holding up a furry plush animal – which appeared to be a hedgehog. "Zack…do you sleep with this?" he asked teasingly.

"Thank Gaia, it's only that," Zack murmured under his breath. "Uh…it's kind of a joke. Angeal and Genesis said I have hair like a hedgehog…so they got it for me. It was a gag gift."

"But it was _in_ your bed," Cloud pressed, laughing. "It's okay, Zack, I won't tell anyone that you sleep with a stuffed animal – "

"Give 'er here, Cloud," Zack said, reaching for the hedgehog. He grinned, narrowing his eyes, and threw himself at Cloud, kissing him fiercely, and distracting him enough to seize the stuffed toy.

"Got him," Zack proclaimed triumphantly, sitting back on the bed as he clutched the toy under his arm. "It's okay, Piggy," he whispered at the toy, flashing a grin at Cloud.

"Piggy?" Cloud said, giggling. " _Piggy_? You named it Piggy?"

"Is there an echo in here?" Zack said, grinning. "Yes. This is Piggy. Shut up, stop laughing at me, Cloud! I can't really have a pet in here, so he's it."

"Cool. So...is he housebroken?" Cloud asked, smirking, as Zack cracked up laughing. "Gods, you really are a smartass, Cloud." He threw Piggy over to Cloud, who caught the toy with one hand. "Here. Have fun with him if you want. I'm going to make us some breakfast."

"Okay," Cloud replied. He stood up along with Zack, stretching his arms over his head. "I'm going to get dressed."

"Mmm," Zack murmured appreciatively, wrapping his arms around Cloud's waist. He kissed Cloud again softly, and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Can I watch?" Cloud got a funny, far away look in his eyes, and his entire body stiffened as Zack planted light kisses along his neck. "No," Cloud sputtered, pushing Zack away, as he broke eye contact with him, staring intently at the floor. "No, I can't. I just - I need to change - guess I'll wear my uniform from yesterday, I don't have anything else. What about my boots, though? I don't have any boots..." He kept muttering distractedly under his breath as he turned from Zack, and gathered up his dirty uniform he'd worn the day before, which he'd carefully folded and placed on top of Zack's dresser.

Zack felt his heart fall as Cloud shoved him off, and began mentally chastising himself. _I knew I was pushing things. Knew I was coming on too strong..what the hell was I thinking, after he was just assaulted?_  
"I'm so sorry, Cloud," Zack said quietly, a sad expression on his face. "I didn't mean to upset you, I just - "

"I know, Zack," Cloud said, sighing. He sat back on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. "I know. It's not your fault. You...have no idea how much I'm attracted to you," he whispered, blushing. "I just - I can't yet. I can't. I - Fredo - it's just...too soon, or something. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Shh, it's okay, Cloud," Zack murmured, taking a seat next to Cloud. "There's nothing wrong with you. I shouldn't have pushed you like that, I just...I _want_ you, Cloud. But I know you've been through a lot...and the last thing I want to do it upset you, so I promise I'll dial it back."

"Okay," Cloud replied gratefully. "Thanks...for understanding. I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass," he said, wincing.

"You are _not_ a pain in the ass, Cloud," Zack scoffed. "Genesis - now _he's_ a pain in the ass. Wicked high maintenance. Don't tell him I said that, though," he said, chuckling.

Cloud grinned. "I won't." He frowned, thinking he heard a knocking noise somewhere. "Is that...I think I hear someone knocking?" Cloud asked, straining to hear.

"Yeah, I think you're right, Cloud," Zack replied, standing up. "Someone's at the door...and it's pretty damned early for visitors." He half-jogged down the hallway, out toward the front door, and peered through the peephole, only to see a Shinra infantryman standing there. "Wonder what this is about," Zack muttered. He opened the door to find the guard standing there with a package. "Requistion for you, sir," the infantryman told Zack, as he handed the large box to him.

"What's all this?" Zack wondered, weighing the package in his hands - whatever it was, it was very light.

"Special requisition order for Cadet Strife," the infrantryman replied indifferently. "General Sephiroth sent me over with it. Can you sign here?"

"Oh!" Zack said, suddenly realizing. _I bet these are the new uniforms for Cloud,_ he thought. "Um, got a pen? Thanks..." Zack signed the delivery slip and handed it back to the infantryman, nodding. "Thank you very much," Zack said as he shut the door.

"Hey, Cloud?" Zack called into the bedroom, carrying the box in front of him. "I think this is for you...want to open it and see? Cloud?"

"In the bathroom," Cloud called through the door. "Just a minute." Zack heard the identifiable sounds of Cloud washing his hands; moments later, the door opened, and there stood Cloud, clad in the only clothing he owned - the uniform he was wearing during the blast, bits of drywall and dust still stuck to it.

"What's that?" Cloud asked, nodding at the box.

"I'm pretty sure this is for you," Zack replied. "I asked General Sephiroth to requisition some new uniforms for you, so that must be what's in here."

"Wow," Cloud murmured, smiling at Zack. "That was really nice of the general...and you, Zack. Thank you."

"It's the least we could do for you, Cloud," Zack said firmly. "Gods, you need something to wear, you know? Why don't you open it up and see what's in there...I'll make some breakfast for us while you do that. Eggs, bacon, and toast okay?"

"Sounds perfect," Cloud replied, taking the box from Zack. "Thanks." He followed Zack out of the bathroom, and placed the box on the coffee table, while Zack dashed into the kitchen, gathering up breakfast items from the refrigerator. Cloud ripped the packing tape off of the box and opened the flaps, revealing the contents. In the box were three new uniforms; six pairs of socks; standard issue Shinra army boots; and, at the bottom of the box, Cloud found a laptop computer, MP3 player, and a Shinra-issued cell phone. Cloud stared at the items, which he'd carefully placed on the coffee table, when his eye caught a flash of white - there was a piece of paper tucked inside the box, with a small envelope clipped to it. Cloud reached in and took it out, and unfolded it. "This is all too much," he murmured, as he began to read.

_Cadet Strife:_

_While I realize that merely replacing some of the items you lost in yesterday's unfortunate bombing will not restore your peace of mind, I do hope that this will help as you get back on your feet and move on in your career as a student here at the academy. Commander Fair informed me that you intend to jump right back into your classes; I admire your tenacity, Cloud. Should you need time off, however, please do not hesitate to ask myself, or any one of your instructors. The laptop is on loan to you, until such time as you acquire your own, so that you may complete your coursework. The cell phone is company-issued; we do not normally give these out to anyone but SOLDIERS, but seeing as these are unusual circumstances, I saw fit to issue a phone to you temporarily._

_You are, of course, welcome to salvage your room for any items you want to keep, as soon as the investigation into the bombing is completed. However, I inspected the dorm myself, along with the bomb squad, and I am sorry to say that it looks like there is very little left in the room that was not completely damaged. Your closet was blown apart during the blast, and your clothing along with it. Therefore, I've also attached a gift card for one of the department stores on the upper plate. The First class SOLDIERS all pitched in for this - we always take care of our own here, Cloud; perhaps someday you will be able to pay it forward._

_Again, best of luck to you, and I am, of course, deeply apologetic for all the trials you've been through your first week here. Wishing you a succesful year at the academy._

_Sincerely,_

_General Sephiroth_

Cloud folded the letter back up, feeling overcome with gratitude, unable to speak. He shuffled off into the kitchen, where Zack was dishing out scrambled eggs and cheese onto two breakfast plates that held bacon and toast. Zack looked up and smiled at Cloud as he entered. "Coffee's there if you need it, I just made a pot," Zack told him. He frowned slightly as Cloud stood there like a zombie, not speaking. "Cloud, what's wrong?" Zack placed their plates on the table, and took a seat, still studying Cloud's expression.

"Nothing's wrong," Cloud said quietly, his lip trembling. "It's just - oh here, read it," he said, handing the letter to Zack quickly. "I'm just feeling a little...overwhelmed, I guess. It's too generous..." Cloud poured himself a cup of coffee, then joined Zack at the small dinette table. "This looks awesome, Zack," Cloud murmured, the savory smell of eggs and bacon causing his stomach to rumble. "Gods, I'm hungry."

"Wow," Zack remarked, folding up the letter and putting it next to Cloud's plate. "That was nice of Sephiroth. I didn't expect him to give you a laptop, too."

"And the gift card," Cloud mumbled around a mouthful of eggs. "Did you know about that, Zack? He said that the Firsts all pitched in for it."

"I didn't know about that, either," Zack said, chewing his toast thoughtfully. "Sephiroth's right, though; we take care of our own here.  
It's a family, and if any of our family gets hurt...well, we help them out." _And if any of our family fucks someone over, like Fredo did...well, gods help them._

"I'm grateful...I really am," Cloud said quietly. "But I don't want to feel like a charity case."

"You're not, though," Zack argued. "You had a shitload of bad luck from the start, so the guys are just giving you a leg up. We'd do the same for anyone who went through the same thing."

Cloud shuddered. "I hope nobody ever _does_ go through the same thing."

"I know," Zack said, lightly touching his fingers to the back of Cloud's hand. "Cloud...about before...I'm sorry, man. I know I came on too strong, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"Stop apologizing, Zack," Cloud told him firmly. "You already apologized enough, anyway. It's not your fault...if it's anyone's fault, it's Fredo's."

"I can't argue with that," Zack muttered. "That fucker. It's a good thing Angeal took him away when he did, or I might have killed him myself."

Cloud blanched slightly at this. "No, Zack...you wouldn't do that," he protested. "You wouldn't kill him...would you?"

Zack laughed bitterly. "Well, maybe you're right. I _wanted_ to kill him, certainly. I definitely would have put him in the hospital, though, if I had gotten my hands on him."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Cloud interrupted. "I'm sorry. I just...want to forget. If I can, that is. I want to start over."

_That's not going to be easy to forget all about it_ , _Cloud_ , Zack thought worriedly. "Yeah. Okay, let's change the subject. Training today - you still game, after your classes? We could go a few rounds with the sword?"

Cloud nodded as he washed down a mouthful of toast with a swig of coffee. "Definitely. I need the practice, and it'll take my mind off of things."

"Okay, cool," Zack said. "Hmm," he murmured, grinning at Cloud. "Maybe after that - if you want - I can take you shopping." Cloud brightened at the suggestion and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah!" he exclaimed. "I don't have any civvies...maybe I can get some jeans and a couple of shirts or something. I still can't believe they gave me a gift card..." he murmured, staring in disbelief at the letter from Sephiroth.

"Believe it," Zack replied, grinning as he cleared the dishes from the table. "And that's not all...I just thought of something that I want to get you." He grinned at Cloud as he stood up and carried his plate over to the dishwasher, inserting it into the bottom rack.

"What is it?" Cloud blurted excitedly. "I mean...really, you don't have to get me anything, Zack. I feel guilty enough already, crashing here...eating your food..."

"I told you to stop that, Cloud!" Zack said teasingly. "Seriously, though...I've enjoyed your company. The bachelor life is not as glamorous as you might think," he remarked, chuckling. _It'd be nice to have someone to share it all with, though,_ Zack mused thoughtfully.

"You done eating, Cloud?" Zack asked the cadet. Cloud nodded affirmatively, handing Zack his dish. "Thanks for breakfast, it was good."  
"No problem," Zack replied. "Angeal's going to kick your ass soon anyway," he said teasingly. Glancing up at the clock, Zack frowned. "We gotta get going, Cloud, I have to get dressed quickly now or we'll be late. And you might as well put on your new uniform and boots, no?"

"Yeah, I will," Cloud said agreeably. "Zack? What are you thinking of getting me?" The cadet hated surprises, especially surprises that he knew were coming; he didn't have the patience to wait for the surprise to reveal himself. Even as a child, during the month prior to his birthday, Cloud would snoop all around the house, trying to find where his mother might have hidden any of the presents she'd bought him.

"I'm not telling," Zack teased in a singsong voice. "You'll have to wait and see."

"I don't like surprises, though," Cloud grumbled. "Can't you give me a hint? Just _one_ hint? "

Zack laughed. "Okay. Just one hint. It's small."

Cloud made a face as he gathered up his fresh new uniforms, heading toward the bathroom to change. "That is a really crappy hint, Zack," he complained. "Not to sound like an ingrate, or anything..."

"You really don't like being surprised, do you, Cloud?" Zack asked, chuckling. _Oh, this was going to be too much fun, torturing Cloud like this._ "That's kind of the whole point behind keeping you in the dark...because duh, it's a _surprise_."

Cloud sighed. "Fair enough," he reluctantly admitted. "But I still don't like not knowing anything. Can't I have another hint? A _better_ hint?"

"Nope," Zack said stubbornly. They stood in the hallway, Cloud about to go back into the bathroom to change, while Zack was headed back to his bedroom to don his uniform. "No more hints."

"You can have this, though," Zack said in a low voice, as he brushed his lips against Cloud's in a soft kiss. "You can have as many of those as you want."

"I - um - okay. Good," Cloud stammered, smiling shyly. "I like...those," he muttered, gazing at Zack with a hungry look in his eyes. Zack laughed, delighting in teasing Cloud so thoroughly. "Be out in a few, then we'll walk on over," Zack told the cadet, as he ventured further down the hallway, toward his bedroom.

Zack shut the bedroom door behind him and leaned his back against it, taking a deep breath. "I think I am," he murmured to himself, almost in disbelief. "I really, really am." _I think I'm falling in love with Cloud...gods, talk about surprises._ _I wonder if he feels the same way?_

He quickly changed into his uniform, as did Cloud, and the two met out in the hallway once they were done. "Ready for Angeal to kick your ass into shape?" Zack asked Cloud teasingly.

"Is he really that hard on the cadets?" Cloud asked, frowning. Zack chuckled. "Um, well...he won't make it easy, that's for sure. And hey, if you end up being too sore from drill, we can postpone our sword training, you know."

Cloud shook his head stubbornly. "Nope," he said insistently. "Nothing's going to make me miss _that_."

"Good," Zack replied, smiling. He locked the door behind them, and turned to Cloud. "I'll walk you over to class, I'm going the same way myself. My first class isn't until 8:00, though, so I'll just be in my office for a while. Meet me in the training room at the end of the day, don't forget!" Zack warned him teasingly, as they exited the building.

"I won't forget," Cloud replied dreamily, his eyes roaming over Zack's chiseled features, his infectious smile. "I'll be thinking of nothing else all day long."


	4. Bound To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Zack start falling for each other.

I found a man I can trust  
And boy, I believe in us  
I am terrified to love for the first time  
Can you see that I'm bound in chains?  
I've finally found my way

I am bound to you  
I am bound to you

So much, so young, I've faced on my own  
Walls I built up became my home  
I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us  
Sweet love, so pure  
I catch my breath with just one beating heart  
And I embrace myself, please don't tear this apart

**"Bound to You" - Christina Aguilera**

* * *

_I'm now looking at the first picture I ever took of you. I had them all printed out, intending to put them in one of those collage type of picture frames. You were such a ham in front of the camera; I was laughing so hard when I took all of these pictures, I'm surprised that they didn't all come out looking blurry or streaky. A few of them did come out slightly out of focus, or off-center, where I cut off part of your hair. I think I'll put those in a frame too, along with the ones that came out perfectly. They all remind me of how happy you made me, just by being your goofy self._

_Gods, you were so beautiful. You still are, in my heart - you're the most beautiful person I ever knew, both inside and out. You made me want to be a better person, too. I was so in awe of you from the beginning - to me, you looked like a god. I couldn't believe back then that someone like you would be interested in someone like me - a runt, a kid with an attitude and a stubborn streak that nearly matched yours. But you **did** want to be with me. I couldn't believe my luck. I'm so glad I finally ignored the little voice in my head that kept saying, "you're not good enough for him...just look at him, then look at yourself in the mirror...he'll get sick of you and your issues...he'll eventually move on."_

_I miss you so much. I just wish...well, you know what I wish. That which can never be. Sometimes, in between sleeping and wakefulness, I swear I can feel your arms wrapped comfortingly around me as I'm lying in bed. Our bed. The moment I wake up fully though, the sensation slowly fades. Were you really there, I wonder?_

_Or was it just another dream?_

* * *

Cloud and Zack parted ways as they approached the room where Angeal was conducting drill, and Zack gave the cadet a friendly wave as he headed into the office he shared with Angeal, at the back of the gym. He was glad to have some time before his next class to himself; Zack planned to catch up on some of his paperwork, and perhaps try to sort out his thoughts about Cloud, which were beginning to overwhelm him - in a good way, but they overwhelmed him nonetheless.

He sighed loudly as he sat at his desk, trying concentrate on his work, but he became increasingly distracted by thoughts of Cloud. _I just met the guy,_ Zack told himself. _How can I feel such a strong attachment to someone I barely know? It seems that he feels something towards me, too...I_ _can just sense it, somehow._

"Love at first sight?" Zack murmured aloud. He'd always felt, in a general sense, that such a thing was probably within the realm of possibility - not necessarily for him, but for others. It wasn't exactly something that Zack had ever expected to experience for himself, however. "I suppose it's possible..."

"Talking to yourself again, Zachary?" came a mocking voice from the doorway. Genesis, clad in his usual red leather duster, was standing there, smirking at Zack.

Zack looked up and grinned. "Genesis," he said, greeting the man. "What brings you here? If you're looking for Angeal - "

"I know, I know," Genesis interrupted, holding up his hand to silence Zack. He sat in Angeal's chair as if he owned it, and wheeled it around to face Zack. "I know Angeal's got drill with the cadets right now. Seems we have a pretty good class this year, doesn't it? Well," he continued, wrinkling his nose. "Now that those undesirables have been removed from the student body...I think the candidates we have left will do quite well."

"Yeah," Zack muttered, his normally cheerful expression darkening. "Undesirables. What's going on with sentencing, Genesis?" he inquired of the other SOLDIER. "You hear anything?"

"Nothing yet," Genesis replied, shaking his head. "The general's going to testify at their trial, he said. He wants to see them charged with attempted murder, and Fredo with conspiracy to commit murder, but seeing as they're all minors.."

"I know," Zack said, frowning. "They'll probably get a slap on the wrist, thrown in juvie, and we'll have to deal with them next year when they're out."

"I don't think that will happen, Zack," Genesis said thoughtfully. He stretched out his limbs, leaning back comfortably in Angeal's desk chair. "Sephiroth has made it clear to the board of trustees, that they are not welcome back here. And surprisingly, President Shinra didn't argue with him."

"Wow," Zack said, somewhat impressed. "I'm surprised about that...you know, some of these kids came from money, and sometimes that's the only language the president seems to understand."

"Don't I know it," Genesis replied, rolling his eyes. He started and sat up quickly in the chair as Angeal walked in the door. "Make yourself comfortable, Genesis," Angeal muttered, smiling.

"You guys are done with drill already?" Zack inquired, looking at Angeal expectantly. _Wonder how Cloud did…_

"It's been an hour," Angeal remarked, raising an eyebrow. "Have you two ladies been gossiping all this time, instead of using your time wisely?" He flashed a grin at an indignant Genesis, who opened his mouth - about to protest - then shut it, apparently thinking better of it.

"Nah, not gossiping," Zack replied, scanning over a report. "I was just asking Genesis if he'd heard anything about the sentencing, actually. For Fredo and the others," he added.

Angeal shook his head. "Well, no trial as yet. But be prepared for them to call you as a witness, Zack. Both you and I will be called, I'm sure, since we were first on the scene."

"Don't remind me," Zack muttered, his mind flashing back to that moment where he and Angeal pulled Fredo off of a scared and angry Cloud. "How...how'd Cloud do today, anyways?" Zack asked Angeal, trying not to sound overly interested.

"He did very well," Angeal replied quickly. "I'm surprised how quickly he's pulled himself together, actually, considering everything that's happened to him in just his first week here. You can't help but feel badly for what Cloud's been through...but I admire him, too." Angeal leaned back against the doorway, looking thoughtful.

"I think," Zack said quietly, "that underneath that shy, awkward exterior, there is a fierce fighter...the likes of which we've never seen before." Angeal and Genesis exchanged a glance at this, unnoticed by Zack. "That's rather a bold statement," Genesis said slowly, staring curiously at Zack. "You haven't even worked with him yet, have you? To be making such a judgment..." His voice trailed off into a murmur, as he noticed Zack glaring at him.

"I don't expect either one of you to understand this," Zack replied, sounding uncharacteristically defensive and snappish. "And I realize how it must seem to you, too," he continued, softening his tone a bit. "I know - I just met Cloud, but I've spent some time with him, you know. I'm still getting to know him, but...I feel like I know him very well. It feels..." Zack murmured, leaving the sentence unfinished. _It feels pre-destined, is what it feels like._

"Hmm. Well...perhaps you are just what Cloud needs right now, then. And vice versa," Genesis said thoughtfully, smiling slyly. He folded up his small laptop, and shoved it into his messenger bag as he prepared to leave. "I've got to get going now," he announced airily. "Class starts in a few. Catch you guys later." Genesis paused as he passed by Angeal and touched a gloved hand to Angeal's well-muscled arm; a gesture that was accompanied by a knowing look. It did not go unnoticed by Zack, who finally realized what his two fellow SOLDIERS had been hiding all along.

"Angeal!" Zack said, grinning. "You...and Genesis? Since when? Why didn't you _tell_ me?" he demanded, chortling. "How long has this been going on?"

"Slow down with the questions, puppy," Angeal replied with mock gruffness. He finally relented and smiled easily at Zack. "Well, it's been just a few weeks now, that we've been together. _Quietly_ together, that is," Angeal stressed.

"I can't believe you didn't tell _me_ , though!" Zack replied, pretending to be hurt. "Come on, Angeal! I thought we were friends!" he prodded, grinning.

"Because, I knew that this is how you would react, Zachary," Angeal quipped, trying to hold back a grin. "Look...we're keeping it quiet, not because we have to or anything like that, but because we are just..." He stopped and sighed for a moment, formulating his thoughts before he went on. "Because we are just testing the waters, I guess." Angeal raised an eyebrow curiously at Zack. "Just as you and Cloud are, I suppose."

"Yeah, I guess," Zack said softly, scratching his head. "Thanks for being understanding about that, Angeal. And I'm happy for you, man. If Genesis is the one who'll make you happy...then I'm all for it. Besides," he cracked, "I think you're the only one who would put up with his mood swings."

Angeal laughed, his teeth showing white against his tanned face, as he grinned broadly. "And you're the only one who can get away with making a comment like that to me," he teased. "Go on, or you'll be late for your class, Zack," Angeal chided. He sat down behind his desk just as Zack got up to leave.

"Bye, Ang," Zack said as he left. "I'll talk to you later."

"Tell Cloud, when you see him, that I thought he did very well this morning," Angeal called as Zack was halfway out the door.

"I will," Zack replied. "Thanks!

* * *

Cloud's day, much unlike the previous day, was going remarkably well. As Angeal had said, Cloud did well during military drill, despite the cadet's insistence that he was clumsy and uncoordinated. Dill, who was in the same drill class with Cloud as well, immediately protested this observation the moment they got into formation.

"I don't know why you're so critical of yourself, Cloud," Dill whispered under his breath, as all the cadets lined up. "You're doing awesome."

"Thanks," Cloud replied with a smile. "So are you. Uh oh, here comes the Commander!" he warned his fellow cadet, just as Angeal was marching up and down the line of the formation, inspecting the cadets.

"Well done, Strife," Angeal had remarked gruffly. "Marquard, about face," he instructed Dill, then marched off without another word.

"Guess I got off on the wrong foot," Dill commented to Cloud as they left Angeal's class. "I'm not good with being...coordinated," he said worriedly.

Cloud laughed, and shrugged his shoulders. "Neither am I, Dill," he replied, grinning. "I lucked out somehow today. I guess I'm...kind of on auto-pilot right now," he remarked sadly.

"Why, what's wrong?" Dill asked. The two were on their way to their next class with Genesis; Cloud glanced over at his new friend, who was regarding him with some concern. _Maybe...maybe I can confide in Dill_ , Cloud reasoned. _I don't have to tell him specifics, I guess..._

"Long story," Cloud replied quickly. "I'll tell you later...at lunch."

* * *

"Where's Zane, by the way?" Cloud asked Dill, as they took their lunch trays to one of the quieter tables in the chow hall.

Dill chuckled and nodded his head in the opposite direction, staring pointedly at a table behind Cloud. "Over there," Dill said. "Remember that girl Quinn that Zane was bitching about?"

"Yeah, what about her?" Cloud asked as he turned his head in the direction that Dill was staring. "Oh," Cloud said, chuckling, as he observed the pixie-like Quinn sitting with Zane, and he appeared to be hanging on her every word.

"Don't let Zane fool you," Dill mumbled around a forkful of macaroni and cheese. "He's infatuated with her. He's just _pretending_ to play it cool, and act like she's annoying him."

"Hah," Cloud replied, smirking. "Yeah, he's got it bad, I'd say."

"Kind of like you and Commander Fair, huh?" Dill remarked, raising an eyebrow. Cloud opened his mouth to protest, but Dill shushed him. "No, Cloud, it's okay. Don't worry...I won't say anything. I mean, half of our class has a crush on the guy...you gotta admit, he's fucking _hot_." Cloud raised an eyebrow at this, and Dill blushed furiously. "I mean...uh, well, he's good looking, all right?" Dill stammered awkwardly.

"Yeah," Cloud said, smirking at Dill. "Yeah, he _is_ good looking." _That's an understatement_ , Cloud thought.

"Sorry," Dill muttered, apologizing again. "I didn't mean to piss you off, Cloud. I saw how you two were around each other yesterday...I could kind of tell you had eyes for each other," he said kindly.

"I still don't know what's happening," Cloud admitted, sighing. "It's all happening so fast."

"Hey, just go with it," Dill encouraged. "Why not? So, Cloud...what did you want to tell me, anyway?"

"Oh. _That_ ," Cloud replied, rolling his eyes. He sighed, and took a bite of his pasta. "This could take a while."

"I'm all ears," Dill said, leaning forward expectantly, as he drained his iced tea. Cloud launched into a recap of the previous day's events, and while he didn't go into specifics about Fredo's assault, he gave just enough detail where Dill could figure out the nature of what had happened.

"Holy shit, dude," Dill whispered, unable to look away from Cloud, as he finished recounting his tale. "Man…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Please, Dill," Cloud pleaded. "Please don't say you're sorry. I know you mean well, it's just that…"

"You don't want pity," Dill interrupted, smiling sadly. "I understand. But, see…I don't _pity_ you. I just feel bad that all this shit happened to you."

"Thanks," Cloud said, sighing. He slowly broke into a reluctant smile. "I appreciate that. I just…want to forget this past week. The bad parts of it, anyway."

"So, your room…you said it was pretty much destroyed, right?" Dill asked Cloud. "Where're you bunking tonight, Cloud?"

The cadet shrugged. "I honestly have no idea. Zack…said it'd probably be a day or two until they found new accommodations for me."

"Guess you might be staying another night with Commander Fair then, huh?" Dill said teasingly. "Maybe your luck is changing for the better then, Cloud."

"Maybe," Cloud replied with a small smile. He quickly looked at his watch. "I've got one more class this afternoon…I'd better get going. Thanks for listening, man." Cloud extended his hand, grasping Dill's in a rough handshake.

"Anytime, Cloud," Dill replied. As Cloud got up from the table to leave, Dill suddenly remembered something he'd wanted to ask him. "Hey Cloud -, you going to Battle of the Bands tomorrow night?"

"Oh yeah," Cloud replied, nodding. "I, uh…saw the flyer. Wasn't sure if it was worth the cover charge, though. You know any of the bands there?"

"I know one of them. Well, I know the bass player for Bitchslap. I think there's like, six bands going on tomorrow night," Dill informed Cloud. "Anyway, Zane and I might be going, if you're interested. That is, if I can tear him away from that chick," he said, rolling his eyes theatrically toward Quinn.

Cloud laughed. "Bitchslap? Nice name. I'll think about it," he told Dill as he was leaving. "I really gotta go, or Sergeant Flanard…might shoot me or something, if I'm late to his class," he joked.

Dill chuckled, and waved good-bye to Cloud. "That'd be pretty bad if your firearms instructor shoots you. See you later, Cloud."

* * *

Firearms class, Cloud thought, went relatively well, although it became clear rather quickly that Cloud was not sharpshooter or sniper material – yet. However, he was not the worst shot in the class by far. Toward the end of the hour and a half lesson, Cloud became increasingly anxious about his fast approaching sword session with Zack. He kept glancing at his watch with ridiculous frequency, and actually began to annoy himself, with how often he checked the time.

"I have to stop obsessing," Cloud muttered to himself as he entered the SOLDIER training room. He set his knapsack - one he'd borrowed from Zack - and glanced around the room. A rack of practice swords stood in the corner - some were wooden, and some were cast from a dull, yet sturdy looking metal alloy. Cloud shoved his hands in his pockets, and approached the rack of swords, studying them. He reached a hand out to stroke the leather-wrapped hilt of one rather worn-looking metal sword. The smooth, soft touch of the leather against his skin, along with the colder feeling metal, felt instantly soothing to Cloud. It was rather odd, Cloud realized, how well he'd taken to the sword. Back home in Nibelheim, he'd certainly practiced with his wooden sword as a kid, imagining himself to be a great warrior. It wasn't something Cloud thought he'd had great skill with, though; not until Zack pointed out his seeming potential.

_Getting nervous,_ Cloud thought, as the secondhand on his watch ticked away. _Still no sign of Zack...maybe he's too busy, or he forgot?_ Cloud sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets again, staring at the floor. _I bet he's gotten sick of me already_ , Cloud told himself despondently. _It's just like Dill said...half of our class has a crush on Zack anyway...maybe I'm just fooling myself into thinking an older guy like Zack could be into me. I just don't know._

"Gods, I'm pathetic," Cloud stated aloud, toeing the ground with his boot. He sighed loudly, then froze, as he heard a familiar sounding voice echo through the training room.

"I wouldn't say that, Cloud," Zack said warmly. Cloud spun around, his mouth half-open, as he saw Zack approach. The SOLDIER grinned at Cloud, making a beeline for the cadet. "Hey," he said softly, loosely hugging Cloud. They kissed, a quick peck on the lips, but it was enough to warm Cloud down to his toes, and caused him to break out a smile. "How'd your day go today?" Zack asked Cloud, releasing him.

"Pretty good," Cloud replied. "I...kind of told Dill what happened to me. So, how'd your day go?" he added, trying to quickly change the subject.

"Fine," Zack said, stretching his arms out behind his back as he exhaled. "I couldn't wait to see you, though. So...you told Dill everything, huh? You two are getting to be close friends, I guess?" Zack observed, without a hint of jealousy.

"Yeah, he's a nice enough guy," Cloud replied. "And I didn't tell him absolutely everything...I only told him Fredo attacked me - I'm sure he must have known something happened, my face is still fucked up. I didn't go into detail. But I told him about the bomb...and my room."

"Your room," Zack echoed. He shivered, involuntarily, as his mind's eye flashed to the pile of debris and drywall that had once been Cloud's room. _If I hadn't gotten there when I did...Cloud would be dead._ "Yeah, about your room," Zack said, suddenly remembering. "Good news...you've got a new room assigned to you, I'm told. It'll be ready either tonight or tomorrow." He gazed wistfully at Cloud, feeling a bit sad that Cloud's temporary stay with him would soon be coming to an end.

"Oh, cool!" Cloud replied, grinning. "It'll be nice to have a room again. Not that I didn't enjoy staying with you, Zack...it's been really great, actually." _Too bad I can't stay just a little longer._

"It was my pleasure, Cloud," Zack beamed. "I liked having you as my houseguest. And hey, if your room's not ready in a few hours - they're supposed to call my cell or yours, to let you know - you're more than welcome to stay another night."

"Thanks," Cloud said shyly, staring at his shoes and smiling. "I really appreciate it, Zack," he said softly.

"Not a problem, like I told you," Zack told him. "So...why don't we get down to business here, with our lesson? Pick out a weapon, Cloud...I'll use a practice one as well, so we'll be fighting with similarly weighted swords."

"Is your...sword bigger than these?" Cloud blushed madly at the double entendre of his question, which he only realized after he'd uttered the words. "Um..."

Zack laughed as he rummaged through the rack of practice swords, finally selecting a broadsword. "Mine's uh...longer and heavier than these," Zack replied, blushing in spite of himself. _Gods, what is with us all of a sudden? Can we not even discuss the size of our swords without getting embarrassed?_

"I have a sword at home, that I made myself," Cloud told Zack, as he selected his own practice sword from the rack. "That's what I grew up using, just to mess around with. These are a lot nicer, though." He grinned shyly at Zack as he picked out his sword.

"You'll have to tell me more about that sword you made sometime, Cloud," Zack commented, as he paced backwards, away from Cloud, taking position on the corner edge of the mat. "Let's get started here though...now, I know you've gone over the basics in class already in terms of footwork and handling the blade...but I'd like to go a bit further with defensive techniques here. You've got to concentrate a lot on your wrist movements when you parry; that, plus being aware of where your feet are at all times, will help you to defend yourself. You with me so far?"

Cloud nodded, standing opposite Zack on the mat, his eyes trained on him and unmoving. "I got it. I'm ready when you are, Zack."

"Okay," Zack said, nodding. "I'm going to go over some parries and blocks with you to start...I'll demonstrate the move, then you'll get to try it." Zack then proceeded to show Cloud about ten different defensive moves, demonstrating each one at least twice, hoping Cloud grasped the basics. _I guess we'll find out, when he puts it into practice..._

"All right, Cloud," Zack said slowly, moving toward him. "Back up just a bit, give yourself some room...now, I'm going to come at you with my sword, and I won't be giving you any warning. Watch my movements closely, and try to predict my next move as you defend yourself, okay?"

"Okay," Cloud breathed, as he bounced on the balls of his feet, excited to put into practice the new maneuvers Zack had taught him. He felt energized, aware, and ready to take on whatever Zack dished out. Cloud crouched back slightly in a basic defensive stance, and waited for Zack to make his first move. The soldier moved about in a semi-circle, his eyes locked on Cloud's as he feinted. Cloud parried and deflected the incoming blow, angling his blade so that Zack's sword struck it and bounced off.

"Nice," Zack murmured appreciatively. "So. Let's see what _else_ you've got, Cloud," he said, gently taunting the cadet. Zack charged again, forcing Cloud to take a step back, but he brought his sword up quickly, striking it against Zack's weapon, the clang of metal echoing throughout the training room. On and on they continued in this fashion, Zack attacking, while Cloud was constantly on guard, trying to anticipate Zack's next move.

They were about an hour into it, and neither had realized just how much time had passed. Both men were panting from exertion, and had worked up a sweat. As Cloud danced around, just avoiding the tip of Zack's sword, the sweat dripped into his eyes, stinging them momentarily. He blinked to clear his eyes, and then it happened – Zack's sword tip grazed the sleeve of Cloud's shirt, tearing the fabric that covered his shoulder slightly. Cloud reared and jumped back the moment he realized what had happened, and saw Zack standing there open-mouthed, with a worried look on his face.

"Let's stop a minute," Zack urged, trying to catch his breath. He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. "Cloud…are you okay? I didn't cut you, did I? Gods…" Zack ran his hand through his sweat-slicked hair, making it stand up crazily in peaks atop his head. "Cloud?"

Cloud didn't answer Zack - he felt laughter bubbling up inside of him, preventing him from being able to speak. His whole body shook with silent laughter; this concerned Zack, who had no idea Cloud was laughing, as he believed the cadet was having a seizure or something.

"Cloud!" Zack shouted, alarmed. In two strides he was at Cloud's side, placing both of his hands on the cadet's shoulders. "Cloud, say something! What's wrong?" he demanded, studying Cloud's eyes to see if his pupils were dilated.

"N-nothing," Cloud finally croaked out, giggling. He finally let go and laughed, doubled over, alarming Zack even further.

"Cloud, please…talk to me!" Zack insisted. "Did I hurt you?"

Looking up at Zack, Cloud shook his head. He grinned widely at Zack – his face was beginning to hurt from smiling so damned much. "You didn't hurt me, Zack," Cloud replied, trying to keep a straight face. "I…I absolutely loved this. Sparring with you, I just…I've never felt so alive before, Zack. It just feels like this is what I was meant to do."

"Whew!" Zack exclaimed, letting out the breath he'd been holding in. "Well, that's a relief, knowing I didn't hurt you," he said. Zack stepped in closer to Cloud, their faces just inches apart from each other. "And I think you're right….this is what you were meant to do, Cloud. I knew you were someone special the moment I laid eyes on you." He took his large, sword-calloused hands and framed Cloud's face with them; then, gently kissed him. _Damn_ , Zack thought, his libido raging. _Fencing with Cloud…gods, that felt like…foreplay?_ He laughed out loud at the thought.

Cloud looked up at Zack, a quizzical expression on his face. His arms were encircled around Zack's waist, his hands resting on the small of his back. "What's so funny?" Cloud asked Zack. His fingers began idly making small circles along Zack's spine.

"I'll...tell you later," Zack murmured. "Mmm, that feels nice, Cloud." He sighed contentedly, cradling his arms around Cloud's shoulders. "Um...not that I really want to move, but we both need to get cleaned up."

"Yeah," Cloud said, chuckling softly. "I guess we both worked up a sweat." He glanced up again at Zack, and their eyes locked on each other briefly. _What do we do now?_ Cloud wondered, suddenly feeling awkward.

"So, why don't we...head back to my place, get cleaned up, and...grab something to eat?" Zack said quickly. "That sound good?" Cloud nodded. "Yeah," he muttered nervously. "Um...yeah. Sounds good."

"Let's clean off these weapons and store them, and we'll head back," Zack said. "You really did well today, Cloud," he added, smiling. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," Cloud mumbled, embarrassed. He tore his gaze away from Zack and stared at the floor, as he grabbed a polishing rag to clean off his sword.

"You don't have to feel self-conscious around me, Cloud," Zack said quietly. He was crouched on the edge of the mat, polishing his blade with one of the cleaning rags.

"I know," Cloud replied, sighing. "I just...I've never really been good at anything, you know? So I'm not used to getting compliments, I guess."

"See, I don't believe that for a second," Zack said firmly, as he placed his sword back in the rack. "You're good at a lot of things. Like...kissing, for example. I think you're a really good kisser."

"Oh, gods," Cloud murmured, his face turning beet red. "You have to stop embarrassing me, Zack!" he protested.

Zack chuckled. "How am I embarrassing you, by stating simple facts?" he asked Cloud. "Come on. Put that sword back, and let's go. I want to take you out to dinner tonight."

"Like...on a date?" Cloud asked hesitantly. "Zack? What...is going on between us? Are we...um, are we..."

"Are we dating?" Zack said, finishing Cloud's sentence for him. "Is that what you were going to say?" When Cloud nodded, Zack continued. "Well...I guess we are? We're getting to know each other, right? Gods, I'm being too pushy, aren't I," Zack fretted. "I thought I might be. I hope I didn't scare you, Cloud - I just - I really like you, and...it seemed like you felt the same way too - "

"But I do feel the same!" Cloud interrupted. They came to a stop in the hallway, just near the elevator. "I've just never...felt like this about anyone before. I'm not sure what to expect. I...haven't really dated much," he admitted sheepishly. "And...you're older than me...I just figured...you'd want someone with more experience..."

"I want _you_ , Cloud," Zack said gently, grabbing Cloud around the waist as he drew him in, embracing him. "I don't want anybody else. I'm falling for you, and I can't stop myself. I don't _want_ to stop."

"M-me too," Cloud stammered. He reached his hand up and grasped the back of Zack's head, pulling him in for a heated kiss. Cloud felt his entire body relax as he melted into the kiss, delving his tongue in between Zack's lips, teasing the tip of it against teeth and tongue. Their bodies felt as if they melded together as they stood there kissing for several minutes; only the ding of the elevator brought them back to reality, and they reluctantly parted from each other.

_I think I'm falling in love with him_ , Cloud thought, the realization making him giddy. _It's all happening so fast, though...can it really be love that I feel for him? Just days after we met?_

"We should get going," Zack murmured, as the nearby elevator doors opened, and two SOLDIERS got off. "Good evening, Commander Fair," one of them said in greeting.

"Good evening, Lieutenant Solveig," Zack returned the greeting. "Classes going well so far this semester?"

"Indeed they are," the lieutenant replied. He seemed to suddenly realize Cloud was standing there. "And who's this?" he inquired, staring at the cadet.

"This is Cloud Strife, lieutenant," Zack replied. "He's a first year cadet, who's showing great promise with swordsmanship. We were just going over a few techniques in the training room. Cloud, Lieutenant Solveig is our archery instructor at the academy. I would imagine you'll be taking his class next year."

"Yes, my class is for the second-year students," the lieutenant explained. "Well, I'll look forward to seeing you in my class next year then, Cloud. Nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too, sir," Cloud replied. Lieutenant Solveig smiled and waved at the pair as he left.

"You have to stop doing that, Zack!" Cloud hissed angrily at Zack, clutching his sleeve, as they headed back toward Zack's quarters.

"Stop doing what?" Zack asked, perplexed.

"Stop...singing my praises to everyone," Cloud muttered, blushing. "I know you mean well, I'm just...really self-conscious about that kind of thing."

Zack sighed as he took his keys out of his pocket, and they both trudged up the steps of the officer's building. "I'm sorry, Cloud," Zack said, apologizing. "I don't mean to make you the center of attention...I keep forgetting you're shy about that sort of thing. I'm just really proud of you, Cloud," he said softly as he opened the door and held it open for him. "After you."

"Thanks," Cloud murmured quietly as he entered the apartment. He sat down on the recliner, and began removing his boots. "Is it okay if I shower first, Zack?" he asked timidly.

"Of course!" Zack replied cheerfully. "Go right ahead. I guess...I should fold my laundry," he said, ruefully eyeing a plastic bin full of clean, unfolded shirts and pants.

Cloud chuckled. "You could just roll everything in a ball like I do. Or...like I used to do," he continued, frowning. "I keep forgetting, I don't have my clothes anymore."

"That's right," Zack replied, taking a seat on the futon. "Do you want to get some stuff tonight, Cloud? You can use that gift card, maybe."

"Sure," Cloud said, smiling. "Sounds good. Maybe...after we eat?"

"Okay," Zack agreed, nodding. He kicked his boots off and reclined on the futon, stretching his arms over his head as he grunted. "Now get that cute ass of yours in the shower, Cloud," he said, grinning at the cadet. "Extra towels are on the rack. And you can borrow one of my shirts to wear, if you want...just grab one out of my closet after you're done. I can't help you with pants, though...mine are going to be too long on you, I think."

"Okay," Cloud replied enthusiastically, dashing down the hallway toward the bathroom. "I'll make it fast!" Zack smiled as he positioned a pillow under the back of his head, relaxing a bit. _Dinner with Cloud...where should I take him?_ Zack mused. _Hmm..._

* * *

A short time later, both had showered and gotten themselves reasonably presentable looking. Cloud was dressed in Zack's borrowed blue shirt with too-long sleeves, which he'd rolled up, exposing his lean muscled forearms.

"My shirt looks good on you," Zack commented, gazing up and down admiringly at Cloud. "Brings out your blue eyes." Cloud was in a clean pair of uniform pants, lacking anything else at the moment he could wear to go out.

"So...where are we going?" Cloud asked, smiling at Zack. "Pizza again?"

"No, not pizza," Zack replied, chuckling. "I'm taking you to a quiet little pub...where we can have some privacy." Zack reached out and ran his fingers through Cloud's spiky bangs that fell gently over one eye. "And, we can have a damned good cheeseburger there, too."

"That," Cloud remarked as they exited the apartment, "sounds just about perfect."

"It's about three blocks from here," Zack informed Cloud, as they made their way toward the main thoroughfare. "We can walk it." He glanced sideways at Cloud, studying him for a few moments before asking his question. "Ah...Cloud?" he began hesitantly. "Is it okay if I hold your hand?"

The cadet's head jerked up in surprise; he stared wide-eyed at Zack. "I...uh, yeah...that sounds nice," Cloud stammered. "But...are you sure? Are you sure you want people to know we're together? What if you get in trouble?" he worried.

"I do," Zack said firmly, taking Cloud's slender, smaller hand in his own. "I want the _world_ to know we're together, Cloud," he declared. "I can't fight what I feel for you, so I'm not going to." _Even if it means my job...I don't think it will, but even if it did...I wouldn't care. I love him._

Zack's eyes widened as he realized the depth of his feelings for the young cadet. _I do,_ he thought, smiling. _Great Gaia, I **do** love Cloud. And I want to tell him, but...that may have to wait. Until he's ready to hear it, anyway. _ He grinned happily, loving how Cloud's fingers felt, curled around his hand.

"What are you smiling about all of a sudden?" Cloud asked, his curiosity piqued.

"Maybe I'll tell you later," Zack replied mysteriously. "I'm just really happy right now. We're finally going on a real date, for one thing."

"Yeah," Cloud said softly, grinning sideways at Zack. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too," Zack replied, giving Cloud's hand a light squeeze. "Well, here we are. Marshall's pub. I know, it doesn't look like something fancy enough for a first date...but I think you'll like it."

"We don't have to get fancy," Cloud said quietly, smiling. "This place looks nice, besides." The pair walked in, and Zack waved to the bartender on duty. "We're just going to grab a corner booth," Zack informed him.

"I'll send someone over in a moment," the bartender replied, waving back at Zack. "Anything to drink for you two?"

"I'll have an amber bock," Zack informed the bartender. "Cloud? What do you want?"

"Chocolate stout," Cloud replied.

"You're in luck," the bartender informed Cloud cheerfully. "Just got several kegs of some new stout, out of Gongaga Village."

"Gongaga!" Zack exclaimed excitedly. "That's where I'm from! I changed my mind, I want that too."

"Two stouts," the bartender murmured. "I'll have those right over."

"Thanks, man," Zack called, as he walked Cloud over to the corner booth. Moments later, a waitress came by with menus.

"Drinks are on their way," she informed them. "Need a few minutes with the menu?"

"Yeah, I think so," Zack murmured. "Just a few minutes, thanks."

"So...what's good here?" Cloud asked as he scanned the menu. "There's like, fifteen kinds of cheeseburgers here...how am I going to decide?"

"That's the problem!" Zack said, laughing. "You know, even I haven't tried them all yet. I keep getting the one with bacon and guacamole."

"That sounds good," Cloud said appreciatively, salivating. "This one with roasted poblanos, bacon, and cheese sounds good too, though."

"Hmm," Zack murmured, considering. "I could go for that one, too! Damn it. Too many choices." He grinned and shut his menu, placing it on the table. "I guess I'll get the habanero burger." Cloud gave Zack a wary look. "You know habaneros are really hot, right Zack?" he cautioned him. "I mean, poblanos are hot too, but habaneros...are the hottest ever."

"It'll be _fine_!" Zack said dismissively. Their server returned with two mugs of dark beer, the foamy head spilling over the sides of the glass. "Here're your beers," she announced, as she placed them on the table. "Ready to order now?"

"I think we are," Zack replied. "Cloud?"

"Yeah," Cloud answered. "I'm ready. I think I'll have this poblano burger...medium rare, and can I get extra guacamole on it? Also some curly fries."

"Got it," the waitress muttered, jotting the order down on her pad. "And for you?" she asked, turning to Zack.

"Habanero burger," Zack replied, grinning at Cloud, who shot him a bemused look. "Rare, with pepper jack cheese. Oh! And an order of onion rings for us to share." Zack handed the menus over to the waitress, and then he leaned forward, elbows resting on the table, as he continued grinning at Cloud. "What? What was that look for, Cloud?" he demanded.

"I have a feeling you'll regret ordering that, Zack," Cloud predicted. "Are we going to be searching for antacids later, when we go clothes shopping?" he asked, chuckling.

"Smartass," Zack retorted, smiling. "I'm sure I'll be fine, Cloud. I've had some of those Wutaian death wings before, you know...I'm sure I can handle this burger."

"Okay," Cloud said doubtfully, sipping his beer. "Mmm, this is good. I've never had Gongagan beer."

"It is good, isn't it?" Zack commented. "Makes me a little homesick, though. I haven't written to my parents in a long time," he added, his voice tinged with regret. "And I don't have a good excuse for that, either. I just...haven't."

"Maybe you should call them, then," Cloud suggested. "Do you get along with them?"

"Oh yeah, I do," Zack said, smiling easily. "They just worry a lot. I know that even if I write to them, my ma will read between the lines of my letter, thinking I'm hiding something from her."

"Ha," Cloud chuckled softly. "Sounds like my mom. She was always...nagging me to get an older girlfriend for some reason."

Zack laughed heartily, nearly choking on his beer, as the waitress brought over the stack of onion rings. "Well, the whole being gay thing kind of blows her idea out of the water, doesn't it, Cloud?" Zack commented, as Cloud laughed along with him. A thought suddenly occurred to Zack, and he frowned. "Wait a minute. She does know you're not into girls, right?"

Cloud nodded, chewing thoughtfully on an onion ring. "Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure she does," he replied. "I...was sort of seeing a guy back home. But it didn't work out."

"Ah," Zack said quietly. "Well, I'm not going to lie and say I'm sorry it didn't work out...because if it did, I wouldn't be sitting here with you." He smiled at Cloud again, and leaned back in his seat. "Believe it or not...I had a girlfriend at one time. And that didn't work out for me either. Well…obviously."

"Huh," Cloud murmured, feeling a tiny pang of jealousy toward this as-yet-unnamed girlfriend. Of course, it didn't _really_ surprise Cloud that Zack had been in a relationship with someone. "Were you...serious with her?" he asked Zack.

The soldier laughed. "She was the more serious one. At the time...well, I fancied myself a ladies' man, I guess. Even though I really had no interest in any of them. But...Aerith - that was my girlfriend - she's the only one I was um...intimate with." Zack coughed uncomfortably, and took a swig of his beer. _Shit. That was probably too much information...on our first **date,** no less. What the hell was I thinking? Damn it, now Cloud is blushing...I've embarrassed him again..._

"Oh," Cloud murmured, his cheeks turning crimson. "Well...I guess I don't have to ask you that question now, do I?" he said, grinning at Zack.

"You're cute, Cloud," Zack replied with a smile. The waitress came by with their burgers and placed them on the table, clearing away their appetizer plates. "Another round of beers?" she queried.

"Sounds great," Zack said, flashing a smile. "Thank you. So," he continued, as he bit into his burger. "Did you...and your boyfriend...holy _fuck_ , this is hot!" Zack groaned as he bit down into a habanero.

Cloud snickered. "I _told_ you, Zack," he said haughtily. "Don't say I didn't warn you!" He chuckled as he bit into his burger, hoping that Zack had already forgotten the question he had started to ask. _I don't want to talk about that right now_ , Cloud decided. _Maybe...later. Or never. Never would be good, too._

"So, ah...how long were you together, Cloud?" Zack continued, repeating his question. He'd placed his sandwich back on the plate and removed the bun, picking off the rest of the habaneros, when he caught Cloud staring at him and laughing. "Don't laugh, Cloud! Fine...you were right about the peppers. Are you _happy_ now?"

"Yeah," Cloud said, still giggling. "Yeah," he repeated, his laughter subsiding. He stared back at Zack, his expression suddenly turning serious. "I _am_ happy. Very much so."

Zack beamed happily at Cloud, and reached across the table for his hand, stroking the knuckles with his thumb. "Good. I'm glad," he said softly. "I am too." The waitress then returned, with two more beers and the check. "Anything else for ya?" she asked, in a bored tone.

"Nah, we're good," Zack told her. "Thank you." Turning back to Cloud, clutching the cadet's smaller hand in his own, Zack narrowed his eyes and smirked. "So, you avoiding my question? Or am I just being too damned nosy? You can tell me if I am, you know!"

"I...wasn't avoiding it," Cloud murmured, blushing. "I just...don't really know how to answer it, honestly. He wasn't my boyfriend, we just...had a fling, I guess you could say."

"Ah. I see," Zack replied. "I'm sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable - "

"I'm a virgin," Cloud blurted suddenly, then groaned, quickly pulling his hand away from Zack's, as he buried his head in his hands. "Why the hell did I just say that!" he said angrily, chastising himself. "I'm such an idiot!"

"No, you're not!" Zack insisted. "Cloud, come on. Let me see your face - please, Cloud," he pleaded, gently forcing Cloud's hands back down. "Don't beat yourself up. Listen. I'm not going to beat around the bush, here - I want you. I want you so bad I can almost _taste_ it. So...I'm kind of grateful for your honesty. Even if you didn't mean for it to come out exactly like that."

"The thing is," Zack continued, sighing. "I don't want to push you, Cloud. You've been through a lot...and really, I feel like I've maybe been coming on too strong already. But I'm glad I haven't scared you off just yet," he said, smiling tenderly at Cloud.

Cloud let out a breath, and tried to steady his nerves before speaking. "You could never scare me away, Zack. It does seem like things are happening fast...but I'm just really happy when I'm with you. I - I want to be with you, Zack," Cloud said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I've never felt like this about anyone else, and I just want to...be with you. You know _...in that way,_ " he mumbled, feeling self-conscious. _Why can't I just come out and say it, for Gaia's sake? Yes, I want to have sex with you, Zack Fair!_

"Yeah," Zack whispered. In a flash, in his mind's eye, he pictured himself sweeping the beer bottles off of the table with his arm, and just taking Cloud right then and there _on_ the table, so pent up with passion was he. "I want that too, Cloud. I do. But...we don't have to rush that, you know. Not at all. I want you to spend the night with me tonight, Cloud...and I just want to hold you all night long. We won't do anything you don't want to, I just...I want to wake up tomorrow with you in my arms. Shit...I'm asking too much of you, I know it. I can tell by the look on your face-"

"Shut _up_ , Zack," Cloud interrupted, grinning. "You're not asking too much. That sounds...perfect. Especially since I have nowhere else to stay," he joked. "Are we still going to go shopping, though?"

"Of course we are!" Zack said emphatically. He pulled out his wallet and fished out several gil notes to cover their bill, throwing them on the table near the check. "Dinner's on me tonight," Zack told Cloud, who looked as if he was about to protest. "And don't argue with me!"

"Are you always this bossy, Zack?" Cloud teased as they left the pub, Zack's arm draped possessively about his shoulders.

"Only with you, Cloud," Zack returned, snorting. "Because you're so damned _stubborn_. I love that about you, though...shows you've got spirit."

"You're just as stubborn as me, you know," Cloud retorted, smirking. They walked on down Loveless Avenue, toward their next destination - the Midgar shopping plaza.

* * *

Several hours later, Cloud had spent most of the balance on his gift card, but had rebuilt the basics of the wardrobe that he'd lost when his room had been destroyed. He had purchased three pairs of pants, a package of socks, enough underwear to last a week, and half a dozen shirts. Zack insisted on buying Cloud a new pair of running shoes, and further insisted that they should both go for a run first thing in the morning. Cloud, naturally, grumbled at the suggestion, not being much of a morning person.

"Seriously, Zack?" Cloud asked, as they headed back to the officer's quarters building. "I have to get up early enough as it is-"

"Just a couple of miles, Cloud," Zack interrupted. "Or three, or maybe even four. That's really not that far, when you think about it! We could do four miles in less than an hour!"

"It is far for _me_ ," Cloud argued. "I mean, look at you! You have longer legs than me, what do you have to worry about?"

"Hmpf," Zack muttered in reply, inserting his key in the lock, and opening his door. He ushered Cloud inside, and after the cadet had brought in all his purchases, Zack grabbed Cloud's hand, pulling him back. He laced his fingers into Cloud's hair and tipped his head back as their mouths met in a kiss. "I think," Zack whispered, as he parted Cloud's lips with his tongue, "that this is a really effective way to keep you from arguing with me," he said teasingly. His hands wandered up Cloud's backside, and pulled him in tightly.

"Y-yeah," Cloud stammered, suddenly feeling weak-kneed and breathless. He stumbled slightly as Zack walked him backwards, directing him toward the hallway. Hearts pounding, they entered Zack's darkened bedroom and fell upon the unmade bed, piled with soft blankets and a down comforter. They wrapped their arms around each other and held each other tightly, kissing and gently groping each other.

"Remember, Cloud," Zack whispered, his fingers ghosting through blond spikes of hair. "If you don't feel right about any of this, or it seems like things are getting out of hand, just say the word. As much as I'm looking forward to our first time together...I don't want you to be uncomfortable, Cloud. I love you." _Shit. It just slipped out!_ Zack worried _. Damn it...this is not how I wanted this to happen. This is not how I wanted to tell him, just blurting it out like that!_

"You...love me?" Cloud repeated, incredulously. He felt something catch in his throat, and buried himself in Zack's warm neck, nuzzling and kissing him. "Oh gods," he whispered, a trace of a sob in his voice. "I didn't think...that you felt the same way."

"What?" Zack exclaimed. He shook his head back and forth, certain he had misheard or misinterpreted something. "Did you just say - "

"I was trying to tell you, that I feel the same way too," Cloud said nervously. He finally removed himself from Zack's neck, glancing over as his blue eyes met Mako-enhanced ones, oddly bright in the murky blackness of the bedroom.

"So you mean..." Zack said slowly, not wanting to rush Cloud - but at the same time, he wanted to know exactly how Cloud felt about him.

"I mean…that I love you too, Zack," Cloud whispered, smiling at the object of his affection. Zack was lying on his side, facing Cloud, with an arm curled about his waist.

"This has been the best day of my life," Zack declared in a whisper. "Even better than the day I was promoted to First Class."

"Oh come on, Zack," Cloud scoffed. "I don't believe _that_ for a second." He traced Zack's face with his fingertips, scarcely believing his luck that someone so perfect, could love him in return.

"Believe it, Cloud," Zack said firmly. He ghosted his fingers over Cloud's lips, and trailed them up until he ran them through his hair. "You are so beautiful, Cloud. I believe I may have fallen in love with you the moment I saw you."

"I can't believe this is happening," Cloud whispered, wrapping himself around Zack. "It feels like...it's too good to last."

"Don't think that way," Zack murmured. "You and I were meant to be together, Cloud. I just feel that it was fate that joined us, you know?"

Zack sat up, backlit by the moonlight streaming in through the window. "Come on," he urged Cloud gently. "Let's get ready for bed. I'm sure you don't want to sleep in your uniform pants," he said, smiling. Cloud nodded wordlessly, and sat up on the side of the bed. He quickly eased off his pants and shirt, kicking them to the floor. _I'll get them tomorrow_ , he thought, as he slid back underneath the covers, only to feel Zack's heated flesh against his own - he'd removed his shirt as well, and his chest was flush against Cloud's, as they returned to their familiar embrace.

"I might not be able to control myself around you, Zack," Cloud moaned, as Zack began nuzzling his neck. "I - I want - oh gods," he growled, as he felt himself harden, just because of Zack's body heat radiating against his own.

"Whatever you want to do, Cloud," Zack whispered in between kissing the smooth flesh of Cloud's neck. "It's fine with me."

"I...don't think I'm ready for _that_ ," Cloud said ruefully. "As much as I want to, it's just…too soon, I think. But...there are other things we can do," he added playfully, as he turned Zack on his back, straddling his hips.

"Mmm," Zack murmured, running his hands up and down Cloud's bared back. "Then let's do them."

* * *


	5. Welcome to My Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: A lemon! Woo hoo! And, a wee bit of Cloud-angst.

_Welcome to my breakdown._  
 _I hope I didn't scare you._  
 _That's just the way we are when we come down._  
 _We sweat and laugh and scream here._  
 _'Cause life is just a dream here._  
 _You know inside you feel right at home, here._  
 _Yeah, Welcome to my nightmare_

**"Welcome to My Nightmare" - Alice Cooper**

 

* * *

 

Cloud's heart was beating so hard, and so fast, he wondered if he might faint. Then, he realized how bad that would be, seeing as he was nestled in Zack's warm embrace, underneath the bedcovers; the SOLDIER held Cloud tightly to his chest, murmuring terms of endearment and comfort to the nervous young cadet.

"It's okay, Cloud," Zack was saying to him. "I know you're a bundle of nerves - no, don't argue with me," he said firmly, as Cloud began to voice his protest. Zack cupped Cloud's chin, and drew him in closer for a gentle kiss. "You can't fool me, Cloud," Zack murmured, smiling. "I can feel you trembling in my arms. It's okay if you're nervous, too, don't be embarrassed by that. I understand." He folded his arms protectively around Cloud, and brushed his lips against soft blond spikes as he sighed happily. "Just holding you like this...is enough for me."

"But I..." Cloud sputtered, his libido preventing him, somewhat, from forming a coherent sentence. "I...want to...gods, Zack. I want to feel you, hard against me..." His voice sounded almost pained, his breathing ragged. "Please," he said pleadingly, as he pressed his forehead against Zack's. Cloud tenatively snaked his hand out, his fingers playing with the waistband of Zack's underwear. "Can I...can I touch you?" Cloud asked shyly, trying his best to avert his eyes from Zack's stare. A gasp escaped from Zack, as he felt Cloud's fingers teasing the tip of his cock through his shorts.

"Only if...if you want to, Cloud," Zack replied, groaning as he suddenly felt slender fingers wrap themselves around his length. "Oh Gaia, Cloud," Zack moaned. "Feels...so good," he muttered, panting breathlessly as Cloud began gently stroking him up and down. He wanted so badly to take Cloud then and there, but held back, not wanting to push Cloud too quickly. "I...oh gods," Zack grunted, babbling incoherently. "Guh...oh, right there, babe, right... _there_ ," he murmured as Cloud's hand began moving faster. Zack pulled Cloud's head toward his and kissed him fervently. Cloud suddenly paused in his ministrations, and removed his hand from Zack; seeing the effect his actions were having on Zack bolstered Cloud's confidence somewhat, and he spontaneously decided to make another bold move.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked, his voice full of concern. Cloud gently pushed Zack, rolling him over onto his back, his pulse skyrocketing as he felt and heard the blood roaring in his ears. _I can't believe I'm doing this_ , he thought, feeling stunned at his uncharacteristic boldness. _And with Zack Fair. I must be dreaming...but if I am, I so do not want to wake up._

"I...want to try this, Zack," Cloud whispered, wishing he could un-say the words as soon as they were uttered. _What the hell am I thinking!_ he worried. _I've never really done this before! There was that one time I tried, and...it didn't go so well. But...I want to try it...again, with Zack._ Cloud knelt in between Zack's legs, splayed apart as they were on the bed, and began easing the older man's boxer shorts off. "I've only attempted this once, and I kind of chickened out at the last minute," Cloud admitted in a barely discernible whisper. "So...you'll...have to tell me if I'm doing it right. Or if I'm doing anything wrong, too," he added. Cloud glanced down at Zack's form, and blanched slightly. _I hope I don't choke on it,_ he thought, stifling a nervous giggle. _It's...a lot bigger than I imagined._

"Cloud, please...don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to do...have you ever done this before?" Zack inquired, suddenly realizing how little he knew about the cadet's sexual history - other than his blurted confession that he was a virgin. That certainly didn't mean Cloud hadn't done _anything_ of a sexual nature; it could mean simply that he hadn't had intercourse.

"I...tried this once," Cloud said quietly. "And my attempt was pretty much a failure," he said ruefully, making a face. "I hope that doesn't happen again..."

"What do you mean, it was a failure?" Zack pressed, his curiosity getting the better of him. _Damn, I shouldn't be interrogating the poor guy like this_ , he chided himself. _Gods, he's nervous enough as it is, I'm sure..._

 _"_ I...well, I wasn't sure what to do at the time," Cloud confessed, blushing. "I wasn't sure...whether to spit or swallow...so I just _stopped_. The guy wasn't too happy when I did that," Cloud remarked dryly. Zack grinned at Cloud's admission. "That's okay, Cloud," he said reassuringly. "Don't worry yourself so much. Hell, nobody's born knowing how to give blowjobs, you know. Just...do what feels right to you. I promise you, anything you do to me, is going to feel good, Cloud." He groaned, tensing up as he felt Cloud's hot breath ghosting over his pelvis. "Okay," Cloud whispered, flicking his tongue over the tip of Zack's penis. "Here goes nothing, then."

"Holy _Gaia_ ," Zack moaned, as Cloud's head dipped down further; he took Zack's length in his mouth, praying he didn't gag. Cloud scooted his body back on the bed, granting himself better access to Zack's lower body. His hand joined his mouth as he began softly sucking, relaxing his throat muscles slightly as he took more of Zack's length further into his mouth. "Shit," Zack muttered, his hands wandering out to his sides, grabbing fistfuls of bedsheets as Cloud continued deep-throating him. _I can't believe Cloud is doing this to me_ , Zack thought in wonderment. _He seemed...so shy, at first...I love that he's opening up to me, but I worry that he's rushing himself..._

"Cloud," Zack panted heavily, breathing raggedly. He ran his fingers gently over the blond-haired head that was bobbing up and down, nestled in between his thighs, arching his back slightly as Cloud grazed a particularly sensitive spot with his teeth. "I'm - ohh, _gods_ ," Zack moaned, throwing his head back into the nest of pillows. Cloud murmured in acknowledgement and braced himself, and was surprised when he felt a hand firmly moving his head up and away. He looked up, only to meet Zack's gaze, and his heart suddenly fell. "Did...did I do something wrong?" he asked, almost tearfully. _Oh no_ , Cloud thought, fearing the worst. _Why'd he stop me, when he was so close? I must have done it wrong...damn it!_

"Shh," Zack whispered soothingly, sitting up in the bed. He pulled Cloud to him, kissing him deeply. "You didn't do a damned thing wrong, Cloud. Not at all. You did everything right. I just want..." Zack paused, scratching his head, and smiled at Cloud. "I didn't want to come too fast, so that's why I stopped you. And...I want us to come together. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure," Cloud replied robotically. He felt as if his head was slightly detached from his body as he answered, he had been so caught up in the moment. Slowly digesting Zack's words, Cloud frowned, puzzled. "But...how will we do that?" he asked Zack.

Zack chuckled as he shifted position, and gently rolled Cloud onto his back. "Like this, Cloud," he murmured, as he tucked his fingers beneath the waistband of Cloud's boxer shorts and tugged them down. "I take it you've never done a sixty-nine before?" Zack asked, as he began to reverse his own position, his head pointed down toward the cadet's pelvis.

"N-n-o," Cloud stammered, the heat rushing to his face. "I...know what it is, but I've never...tried..." His voice faltered; he swallowed hard, as it began to register to Cloud just how inexperienced he was compared to Zack.

"Can you...teach me?" Cloud asked shyly, trying to ignore his embarrassment. Zack nodded, and kissed Cloud. "Of course I can. Hope you don't mind my ass in your face, though?" he remarked, chuckling.

Cloud laughed easily; Zack had, in the cadet's opinion, the finest ass he'd ever seen, so the question was a moot one. "No, I won't mind that at all," he murmured. He placed his hands gently on Zack's hips; the SOLDIER re-positioned his body over Cloud's before glancing back over his shoulder, trying to gauge the cadet's reaction. "Are you really okay with this, Cloud? I can stop, if you want - "

"No!" Cloud practically shouted. "I mean," he continued, lowering his voice, as he smiled and blushed madly. "I mean...please don't stop. I want to. I want you to...do that. To me." An appreciative sound came from Zack's throat as he nodded and descended toward his goal once again. "Good," he murmured, licking the tip of Cloud's cock. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Cloud gasped aloud as he felt Zack's mouth suddenly surround him, feeling as if he might drown in that delicious warmth. Briefly, he came back to his senses - slightly, anyway - and shifted himself so that his mouth was beneath Zack's cock once again. He closed his eyes as he teased Zack with his tongue, then quickly took Zack in his mouth once again. Cloud spread his thighs apart as he felt Zack's weight bearing down in between his legs. He moaned around the mouthful of flesh, the reverberations driving Zack ever closer to the edge. They fell silent, as they worked in sync, pleasuring each other in unison until Cloud felt he could take no more. His body stiffened, and the blood roared in his ears as he felt himself approaching his peak.

"Zack," Cloud cried out, hating how helpless his voice seemed to sound. "I'm almost there..." Zack paused briefly, and nodded. "Me too, Cloud. Don't...don't stop now..." he pleaded, panting. Cloud didn't bother to answer, but returned to his task, as Zack did the same. He arched his back as he came, and moments later he felt Zack moaning around his cock as the SOLDIER came to his own climax, and Cloud drank him in. _That...went much better than the last time I did this_ , Cloud thought absently, with a grin. _Much, much better._ He groaned softly as he felt Zack swallowing around his member. "Oh, gods, Zack," Cloud murmured, arching his neck back, clenching his teeth. Sated, Cloud sank back down into the soft depths of the bedding, as Zack extricated himself from below, and rejoined the cadet, laying his head on the pillow next to Cloud. There they lay in the semi-darkness, face to face; both men feeling somewhat amazed - and excited - at what had just transpired between them.

"How was that, then?" Zack asked huskily, smiling as he grazed his fingers over Cloud's jaw, and cheek.

"It was..." Cloud began, then stopped, searching for the right words. He chuckled and grinned at Zack as he answered. "I have no words, really...for how that felt."

"I, uh...thought you said you were a virgin, eh, Cloud?" Zack said quizzically, arching an eyebrow at his lover. The corners of his mouth worked into a smile as Cloud grinned shyly at him.

"I am...well, I mean, I haven't gone all the way with anyone. And...like I told you...I attempted a blowjob that one time, but it didn't work out," Cloud "It was only that one time, too," he quickly added. "I really don't have a lot of experience..."

"Doesn't matter," Zack said confidently, interrupting him. "That felt...incredible, Cloud. I mean, I feel totally drained," he added, laughing. "But in a good way. And you know...technically...one could make the argument that you're not a virgin." He smiled indulgently at Cloud, gathering him in his arms again. "Like...not really. If you hadn't told me otherwise, I'd never have known that you were, uh...kind of new to this," Zack told him, kissing Cloud lightly. "You were incredible...nobody's ever made me come like that, Cloud," he said softly. Zack wasn't entirely surprised when he felt the heat creep into Cloud's cheeks; though he could barely make out the outline of the cadet's face in the semi-darkness, he knew that Cloud was more than likely blushing madly.

"You're embarrassing me," Cloud muttered, his voice muffled into Zack's shoulder. The SOLDIER laughed happily. "Cloud, babe...we're the only ones here," he assured him. "Just you and me. There's nothing to feel self-conscious about when you're with me. Not ever. I love you."

"I love you too," Cloud whispered, sighing contentedly. "And...thank you, Zack. For saying that. I'm just...it's hard for me to let my guard down."

"You're welcome," Zack replied. "And you can always let your guard down around me, Cloud. Don't ever feel like you have to hold anything back. And..I don't just mean in the bedroom, either. If there's ever anything you want to talk about...I'm here for you, always." Zack felt Cloud nodding his head, as he began to relax. A yawn escaped Zack, as his eyelids began to feel heavier and heavier. "Maybe...maybe we should get some sleep now," Zack said, still yawning.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, yawning himself. "Maybe...we should." Moments later, the two had drifted off to sleep, entwined in each others arms.

* * *

The taunting voice came to Cloud's ears as if through a vacuum; it sounded hollow, tinny, and detached. Before he could discern the words, though, Cloud knew who was speaking to him. _Fredo._

 _"You're a fucking faggot, Strife,"_ the brute said cruelly, sneering. _"And now you're sleeping you're way to the top, aren't ya? Fucking loser runt. Can't earn good marks on your own strength, since you don't **have** any, you weakling. I'm going to beat the fuck out of you, there'll be nothing of your pretty little face left for Commander Fair to look at."_

 _"No! It's not like that!"_ Cloud protested. _"Zack...loves me!"_

Fredo spat on the ground, then advanced on Cloud, balling up his fists as his lips drew back in a snarl. _"The hell he does. He just wants to tap that faggoty ass of yours, then he'll throw you away. Someone like you could ruin his career. You're just his dirty little secret. That's all you'll ever be to someone like Zack Fair."_

 _"Stop!"_ Cloud shouted. He struggled as he felt strong arms around him, restraining his movements. "Let go of me, you asshole!" he yelped, flailing. Cloud squinted; for some reason, he couldn't see clearly, it was as if his eyes were covered in a film. It seemed to Cloud like he was looking through a very dirty pane of glass - he could only make out a very dim outline of his assailant. Cloud began hitting and punching out blindly, feeling his fist connect with what felt like Fredo's skull; he heard the telltale sound of his fist connecting with flesh. _Good_ , Cloud thought. _Serves you right, you cruel bastard_. "Fuck you!" he shouted, pummeling his fists against his unseen attacker.

"Cloud, please! For Gaia's sake, stop!" _That's not Fredo's voice, is it,_ Cloud realized, in a sudden moment of clarity. Cloud opened his eyes, and stared into Zack's, horrified as he realized he had just been unconsciously beating on his lover, thinking him to be Fredo.

"Oh gods, Zack," Cloud gasped, choking back a sob as he fell into Zack's open arms, allowing himself to be held, and comforted. "I'm so sorry! I was...dreaming," he explained, stammering. "And I thought you were - I thought - " Cloud stared at Zack again, his lip trembling as he fought to hold back his tears.

"You thought I was Fredo," Zack supplied, smiling sadly. "I know...you were shouting his name in your sleep. Oh, Cloud...gods, I wish I could take this pain away from you - "

"You can," Cloud said softly, laying his tear-stained face against Zack's chest. "Just...hold me, Zack. And don't let go."

"Never," Zack whispered, kissing Cloud's sweat-dampened forehead. "I will never let you go, Cloud. Never. I love you."

"Love you too," Cloud murmured in a near-whisper. "...So much."

Zack glanced over at the alarm clock's digital display. _Three in the morning_ , Zack thought with a slight groan. _Shit. We both need some sleep...I don't think Cloud's going to be in any mood to go running first thing in the morning, like I wanted us to_. He sighed and sank back down into the bedding, willing his body to relax as he held Cloud loosely in his arms, rubbing his back gently as he whispered soft words of comfort in the cadet's ear. Soon thereafter, Zack heard light snoring, as Cloud drifted easily into sleep once again. _Hopefully he won't have another bad dream_ , Zack thought, worriedly. His chest heaved with another sigh as he closed his eyes, determined to milk a few more hours of sleep before it was time to really awaken for the day.

* * *

As the morning sun breached the horizon, brightening the sky, Cloud finally stirred out of his deep sleep. His head felt heavy, thick. He opened his eyes slowly; damn, but his head _hurt -_ it was bloody well pounding, actually. He winced as the sensation of headache registered in his sleepy brain. "Ow," he whispered, trying to move slowly and carefully so as not to wake Zack. _Sweet, caring, Zack_ , Cloud thought, smiling over at his sleeping lover. _Whatever did I do to deserve him?_ he wondered. Cloud eased his body away from Zack's side of the bed, and rested his head on the pillow, drawing the covers up around him. Zack groaned in his sleep as his hand idly felt around for Cloud. "Spikey..." he murmured drowsily. "Where'd you go?"

"Here, Zack," Cloud whispered, scooting over toward him, moving in so closely that they were touching foreheads. "Right next to you."

"Hi," Zack murmured, opening one eye, as he stared into Cloud's half-lidded ones. He made a sound that was half-groan, half-yawn. "What…time is it?" he murmured sleepily.

"It looks like," Cloud said, glancing back over his shoulder to eye the clock seated behind him on the bedside table, "that it's almost six o'clock. The sun just came up."

"Oh," Zack said through another yawn. He smiled tiredly at Cloud. "We don't have to go running this morning if you don't want to, Cloud. That dream you had last night – "

"Let's just pretend that never happened, okay?" Cloud interrupted. He sighed heavily and turned himself so he was lying on his back. "I just want to forget…everything."

"But we _can't_ pretend it didn't happen, Cloud," Zack said gently, running his hand over the flat musculature of Cloud's stomach. Zack draped his arm around Cloud's torso. "No, shh. Listen to me," Zack interjected, as Cloud began to put up a protest. "You beat the _hell_ out of me in your sleep last night."

"I'm sorry," Cloud muttered. "I shouldn't be staying here then, should I," he said quickly, kicking the covers off of his legs as he hastily attempted to extricate himself from the soft, warm cocoon of Zack's bed.

"Don't – what the – Cloud!" Zack stammered angrily, grabbing on to Cloud's arm, staying him. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.

"Obviously I can't stay here," Cloud said with a disdainful sniff. "I might hurt you."

"Shut up for a minute…and get back into bed," Zack barked. "Please," he added, softening his tone. "Don't run out like that, Cloud…you don't have anywhere to go, for one thing!"

"I'm sorry, Zack," Cloud said softly, as he slid back under the bedcovers. He blanched, as he saw for the first time a light bruise outlining Zack's jawbone. "Gods, did I do this to you?" Cloud whispered, his eyes welling with tears, as his fingers gently grazed over the bruise, not quite touching the surface of the skin. "See, this... _this_ is why I can't stay, Zack!" Cloud cried, choking back a sob. "Look what I did to you already!"

"Did you forget everything we said to each other last night, Cloud?" Zack shot back, fighting back his own tears. It pained him to see Cloud so upset, and blaming himself for something that was beyond his control. "I _love_ you, Cloud, and I know you love me. I promise, I will help you through this, I can't stand to see you hurting. Maybe, I don't know – maybe you need to talk to someone about this?"

"You mean a shrink, don't you," Cloud replied bitterly. "No thanks. I'll never get into SOLDIER if I'm labeled a nutcase early on – "

"Nobody's going to label you a nutcase, Cloud," Zack interrupted. "Will you shut up and listen to me?" he said irritably. "Seriously…you've been through something traumatic – of course it's going to upset you! It'd be more surprising if you didn't have any reaction at all."

"But I – " Cloud began, then paused, sighing. "I just…was trying to forget about it altogether. I want to act like nothing happened."

"That strategy doesn't seem to be working so well for you, babe," Zack quipped dryly. "Last night I told you I loved you, and I meant every word of it."

"I love you too, Zack," Cloud whispered, kissing him lightly along his collarbone before tucking his head into the crook of Zack's shoulder. "How did I get so lucky?"

"I keep asking myself the same question, Spikes," Zack replied, chuckling. He wrapped his arms protectively around Cloud, hugging him. Zack's lips pursed in a thin line. _I will see that Cloud gets the help he needs, to get through this_ , he silently vowed. "Will you think about it, though, Cloud?" Zack asked plainitively. "Do it for me, then, if you don't want to do it for yourself."

Cloud sighed, suddenly feeling like the world's biggest heel. How could he refuse such a request? Zack just wanted him to be happy...and he was, certainly. _Happier than I've been in a long, long time_ , Cloud thought, snuggling up against Zack. _It's just that..._

 _That._ That one incident...that one dark day that was all too fresh still, in Cloud's mind. _If only I hadn't skipped the seminar, none of this would have happened_ , Cloud chided himself. _Then I wouldn't have had to serve detention; I wouldn't have had my dick grabbed by Fredo, he wouldn't have been expelled, and his friends wouldn't have tried to set a bomb in my room._

The soft drone of snoring roused Cloud out of his reveries. He grinned as he glanced up at Zack's slack-jawed face; he'd nodded off to sleep, somehow still retaining his ridiculous sexiness, even when dozing and drooling on the pillow.

 _And if none of that had happened, none of **this** might have happened, either,_ Cloud told himself, as he replayed the more passionate moments of the prior evening through his mind. _And he told me he loved me_ , the cadet thought happily as he drifted off to sleep once again. _He really does love me..._

* * *

Several hours later, the two sleep-drunk men unwillingly extricated themselves from Zack's bed, both groaning as they stretched the stiffness out of their limbs. "Good morning," Zack murmured with a grin. "Did you sleep okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I did," Cloud confirmed, nodding. He sat up on the edge of the bed, feet dangling over the sides, as he ran his fingers through his bedhead hair, his back facing Zack. Cloud felt warm arms slide around his torso in an embrace and smiled. He reached down, placing one of his hands on top of Zack's. Turning his head slightly as he felt Zack's warm breath tickling his neck, Cloud tilted his head back and kissed Zack. "Being in your arms like that...well, it helped," Cloud told him, leaning back into Zack's warm hug.

"I'm glad," Zack murmured. A warm chuckle erupted from his throat as he tightened his arms around his lover's waist. "By the way," Zack breathed into Cloud's ear, "you look absolutely adorable first thing in the morning. Your hair..." Zack's sentence went unfinished as he nuzzled into the nest of Cloud's blond spikes, which were surprisingly soft to the touch. Cloud reached a hand up to his head, groaning. "Zack, please," he protested. "I know...I get bedhead when I wake up. And it's probably even worse this morning, because...because of what we did last night." His voice tapered off into to a low whisper, and his face reddened as he recalled the pleasure he'd received from - and given to - Zack.

"I wonder what your hair will look like when we make love then," Zack quipped, kissing Cloud quickly on the cheek, and grinning as Cloud blushed profusely. "Come on. Time for breakfast. We've got the weekend to ourselves, Cloud!" he declared, as he grabbed a robe from a hook on the door, shrugging it on and tying it about his waist. "What would you like to do today?"

"That's right," Cloud replied. He smiled at Zack as he stood up from the bed, yawning and stretching. "With everything that's happened this week…I nearly forgot that we have this weekend off. Um…what do _you_ want to do, Zack?" he asked, blushing slightly _. Gods, I know what I'd **like** to do_ , Cloud thought, hiding a smirk.

"Hmm," Zack hummed, his eyes traveling up and down Cloud's lean form, clad only in his boxer shorts. He was having thoughts similar to Cloud's, but was trying to rein himself in, so as not to appear like he was _too_ much of a horndog. He cleared his throat and grinned. "Ah…how about we hit the amusement park, Cloud?" Zack suggested. "There's one on the upper plate...have you ever been? It's nothing as fancy as the one at Gold Saucer, but they have some decent rides. There's a couple of roller coasters, a Ferris wheel...crappy food," he continued, chuckling.

"That could be fun," Cloud said dubiously, smiling at Zack. "I've…never been to an amusement park, though," he admitted.

Zack's eyebrows shot up at this admission. "What? Are you serious, Cloud? Oh man…you are so deprived!" The SOLDIER was starting to realize that the young cadet was perhaps more sheltered than he'd realized. Zack honestly didn't know much about Cloud's hometown of Nibelheim, other than the fact that it was quite remote, and hard to get to without a buggy or a chocobo.

"Yeah, well…" Cloud said, shrugging his shoulders, and grinning sheepishly. "Nibelheim's not exactly a happening place, you know. I would imagine that Gongaga is more fun to hang out in, than Nibelheim. Zack chuckled, the rich sound of his laughter echoing off of the walls of the bedroom. "I wouldn't go _that_ far, Cloud," he said. "Gongaga's a small village…maybe even smaller than Nibelheim, for all I know."

"By the way," Cloud told Zack, as he shrugged a t-shirt on, "I'm making breakfast today. If you don't mind, that is."

"I don't mind at all," Zack replied, breaking into a wide grin. "Want me to show you where everything is?"

"Sure," Cloud replied, following Zack down the hallway toward the kitchen.

"Okay," Zack said, showing Cloud around the kitchen. "Pots and pans - bottom cabinet here, next to the sink," he told Cloud, pointing around. "Knives in the knife block...dishes and glasses are in the top cabinet over there."

"All right," Cloud replied, nodding. "And...I hate to raid your fridge, Zack, but - "

"But what?" Zack scoffed. "But nothing. My home is your home, Cloud, like I told you." Zack got a momentary flash of he and Cloud living together; what it would be like to wake up each morning like this, making breakfast for one another. _Domestic bliss_ , Zack thought with a grin. _Funny...I think that's what I really want with Cloud, too, now that I'm thinking about it. A future. This definitely isn't just a roll in the hay for me. I think I want...an actual relationship with him._

"Hello, Zack?" Cloud called to him, grinning. Zack glanced up, shaking his head as he pulled himself out of his thoughts. "I was asking you...do you want to make the coffee, and I'll get started on the cooking?"

"Oh, yeah," Zack replied agreeably. "Definitely need coffee. I'll make a whole pot for us, then." Cloud busied himself in the kitchen, retrieving pots and pans and ingredients. "Where'd you go just now?" Cloud asked Zack. "Seemed like you were lost in your thoughts."

"I was," Zack admitted, as he filled the reservoir of the coffeemaker with water. "Just thinking about us. And how much I love you."

"Oh," Cloud murmured, smiling. "I...love you too."

"So...I was thinking," Zack began. "You should be getting your room reassignment today. I can call administration after breakfast, see what's going on with that, seeing as neither one of us have heard anything yet." Zack felt his heart fall a little, with the realization that Cloud wouldn't be staying with him very much longer. _Wish he could stay here permanently._

"Oh," Cloud said, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice. "That'll be good, I guess." He busied himself melting some butter in a pan over the stove burner, tilting it to and fro to coat the bottom of the skillet.

"Wish you could stay," Zack blurted, then caught himself. "I, uh...I'm just going to miss you, Cloud. I love waking up with you, like I did this morning."

"I know," Cloud said quietly. "I'll miss that too. Maybe...next time you'll stay at my place, then?" he added, smiling mischievously at Zack.

"Yeah, we could do that!" Zack replied, his expression brightening. "Coffee's almost ready," he observed, eyeing the percolating coffeemaker.

"Oh, good," Cloud replied. "You need to get out of the kitchen now, Zack," he scolded. "This is going to be a surprise."

"Okay, fine!" Zack replied in mock frustration. "Getting thrown out of my own kitchen, now...nice, Cloud," he said teasingly, as he exited the kitchen.

"Go," Cloud commanded, with mock sternness, as he gently shoved Zack toward the dining area. "Now."

" _Fine_!" Zack replied, laughing. He took a seat at the small dinette set, then got up before Cloud had even returned to the kitchen. "My coffee!" Zack protested, as he caught Cloud's glare.

"I'll bring it to you, Zack," Cloud told him. "Just stay in your seat!"

"Okay..." Zack muttered, grinning. " _I'll_ try to sit still. Even though it may kill me...tell me, what are you making in there anyways, Cloud?"

"You'll see," Cloud replied quietly, trying to hide his smile. Zack's enthusiasm and joy for pretty much _everything_ , was damned near contagious; Cloud was learning that he couldn't help but be happy around him. As Cloud bustled about the small apartment kitchen, moving around quickly, Zack kept craning his neck around, trying to catch a glimpse of what Cloud was prepaing for breakfast.

"You know, Zack," Cloud said teasingly as he brought two heaping plates out to the table. "I could totally see you trying to peek into the kitchen."

"What?" Zack replied, feigning innocence. His stomach rumbled audibly as he inhaled the savory aroma of breakfast. "Smells delicious," he called to Cloud, who had gone back into the kitchen to fetch two mugs full of coffee. "Uh…what is this exactly, Cloud?" Zack asked, as he tucked into his plate.

"It's eggs Benedict," Cloud replied, as he set Zack's coffee in front of him. "Hope you like it…"

"Ish good," Zack mumbled around a mouthful of ham, eggs, and Hollandaise sauce, making appreciative noises. "Seriously….it's _good_ , Cloud," he repeated, after taking a swig of coffee. "I could get used to this," Zack murmured, lightly touching the back of Cloud's hand. "Where'd you learn to cook like that?"

Cloud shrugged, giving Zack a half-smile. "I guess just from watching my mom," he replied indifferently. "My father died…when I was still very young. It was just mama and me for so long…I suppose I had to learn to cook, I couldn't expect her to do everything."

"I'm sorry, Cloud," Zack said quietly. "I don't think I realized that, about your dad. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, Zack," Cloud replied, chewing his eggs. "I don't remember him all that much…I was so little when he passed away. My mom….she's one of the strongest women I know. I owe a lot to her," he concluded thoughtfully, sipping on his coffee.

"She did pretty well raising you, I'd say," Zack remarked, inhaling the rest of his breakfast. "I'd love to meet her someday."

"That'd be nice," Cloud replied, smiling at Zack. "You know…I think she'd like you. Who knows, maybe we'll go to Nibelheim someday, together."

"And then Gongaga," Zack added. "I'd love to have you meet my parents, too." He laughed merrily, his lavender-blue eyes sparkling with amusement. "This conversation got kind of serious all of a sudden. Talking about meeting each other's parents, by Gaia! I hope I didn't freak you out, Cloud."

"Well," Cloud replied, as Zack began to clear the plates from the table. "I'd be lying if I said the topic didn't make me nervous as hell. Meeting your parents…would be awesome, Zack. But that kind of means…something. When you meet someone's parents like that."

"It means we're serious about each other," Zack said, wrapping his arms around Cloud's shoulders from behind, and kissing him on the cheek. "Which we are."

"I just worry," Cloud said, suddenly sounding pessimistic. "I don't want there to be any trouble for you, Zack. By being involved with me…"

"Listen to me," Zack told him firmly. "It's not an issue, and it _won't_ be an issue. The only way it would be, is if you were my student. Which you're not. Besides…you'll be legal soon, won't you?" he inquired nonchalantly, the mischievous glimmer returning to his eyes.

"Yeah," Cloud replied with a smile. "My birthday's in a couple of weeks, actually."

"Oh! That just reminded me," Zack exclaimed, suddenly remembering. "That surprise I got you, when we went shopping…I suppose I could make you wait until your birthday…but I think I'd like to give it to you now." He quickly rinsed and placed the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, then dried his hands on a towel hanging from a wall hook.

Zack took Cloud in his arms, kissing him lightly. "Let's get showered and dressed, then we'll head out. And maybe I'll give you your surprise on the way," he added teasingly.

"What is it?" Cloud blurted, gazing expectantly at Zack. "Oh, wait...you weren't going to going to give me any more hints, were you," he complained with mock disappointment. "I guess I'll have to wait...patiently..." He let out an exaggerated sigh, and snickered along with Zack. "Yeah," the SOLDIER told Cloud, laughing. "You'll just have to wait patiently."

* * *

After Zack and Cloud had gotten themselves ready, they ran over to the train station quickly, barely making it in time for the 9:50 train to Sector Eight. They took adjoining seats in the back car, and Zack draped his arm around Cloud's shoulders as they sat together. The gesture was starting to feel so natural to Zack, along with the sensation of having Cloud curled into his side. _It's as if he's always belonged there, by my side_ , Zack thought, stealing a glance at Cloud as he stared out the window of the train. _Like...there was something missing all this time, and now I finally know what was missing._

"It was you all along, wasn't it?" Zack whispered out loud. Cloud turned his head quickly to regard Zack. "Huh? You say something?" he inquired.

Zack shook his head. "Nothing, really," he replied. "Just thinking out loud."

"Have you been thinking about giving me my surprise?" Cloud said, needling Zack. He grinned as Zack raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh at Cloud's obsessive persistence over the _surprise_.

"Do you _really_ want it now?" Zack asked, with an exaggerated sigh. When Cloud nodded enthusiastically, Zack grinned, and reached into his pants pocket. He placed a small package, about the size of the palm of his hand, into Cloud's hand. Whatever it was, was inside a small, rectangular velvet pouch. "Here it is," Zack said. "Just for you. And before you open it...well, I went ahead and set it up for you, so it's ready to go."

"What could it be?" Cloud murmured as he slowly unfastened the string-tie of the pouch; opening it, he extricated another small item. "A camera!" he exclaimed excitedly. "You got me a camera!"

"Yeah," Zack said, smiling indulgently at Cloud. "I was just thinking...you know, since the semester didn't start off on the best note, that maybe...you could use this to create some _good_ memories."

"That's a really good idea," Cloud said, nodding. He kissed Zack - quickly, and shyly - and turned his attention to fiddling with the camera. "We could start right now," he said, moving in closer to Zack, as he turned the camera around, intending to take a self-portrait. Zack pulled Cloud tightly into his side as Cloud pressed the button. "Smile," the cadet commanded, moments before the flash went off. Cloud immediately pressed a button on the back of the camera, to view the snapshot.

"You know, we do make a very nice-looking couple," Zack remarked with a grin, as he viewed their photo on the camera's display. "Hey...I think this is our stop coming up, Cloud. You ready?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied, nodding. They both stood up from their seat, as the car lurched to a stop.

* * *

Zack paid for their admission to the amusement park, amid mild protests from Cloud. "It was my idea, Cloud," Zack argued. "You can buy lunch, if you want."

"You know, you're spoiling me," Cloud complained with a sigh. "I know - I shouldn't bitch about that, but it makes me feel bad, that I can't do the same for you."

"Oh, stop it, Cloud," Zack scoffed. "You spoiled me just this morning, with that breakfast you made. If you keep cooking for me like that, I'd say you're spoiling me big time."

"I'm glad you liked it," Cloud said quietly, smiling. He felt the cell phone in his pocket vibrate, and frowned as he went to answer it. "Wonder who this could be," he muttered. "Hello?" he said as he answered the phone. "Oh...hi. Yes, this is Cloud. What number is it? East quad? Okay...thank you. I'll check with them later. Thank you very much, good-bye."

"Was that about your room, Cloud?" Zack inquired, steering the cadet toward the midway and the rides. "Heard you mention east quad..."

"Yeah," Cloud affirmed. "That was the director of student housing. She said that my room is ready, and apologized for the delay. I guess they had to replace some of the carpeting. But I'll be in east quad now, I guess. That's where Dill and Zane are, too," he added, suddenly remembering.

"Nice," Zack replied, nodding. "That'll be good to have some friends in the same building, right? I can help you move your stuff over later...when we get back." He stopped in his tracks and turned Cloud around to face him, as his face fell slightly. "I'm going to miss having you around, though, Cloud. I wish you could stay."

"I'll miss it too," Cloud agreed, sighing sadly. "But don't worry...it's not like you won't _ever_ see me again. I just can't seem to stay away from you, Zack," he added, standing slightly on tiptoe as he gave Zack a kiss.

"I know how you feel," Zack commented. "I'm glad we've got this weekend to spend together, though. Why don't we hit the roller coaster first, Cloud?" he suggested, nodding toward the highest coaster at the amusement park. "Roller coasters are my favorite."

"Mine too," Cloud said, as Zack took Cloud's hand in his own, and they walked toward the queue for the roller coaster. "I love roller coasters. I just don't like anything that _spins_ a lot," he cautioned.

"Okay, nothing that spins," Zack repeated. "Got it. So...you ready?" he asked, as they moved up in the queue.

"I'm ready if you are," Cloud replied teasingly, as they got into the car of the roller coaster.

* * *

After riding each of the three roller coasters that the park had to offer - twice on each one - Zack and Cloud felt ready to eat some lunch, and stopped at a small wing stand, ordering wings, fries, and beer. "I'm buying," Cloud reminded Zack, with much insistence, when it came time to pay for their order. They took their food out to a small picnic table behind the food vendor.

"This has been the best day," Zack remarked, licking wing sauce off of his fingers. "I guess this is our...second date now, huh?"

"I guess so," Cloud agreed. "Unless that time at Max's counts as our first..."

"Hmm," Zack murmured, considering. "Well, that was more of a casual thing, I suppose. And it was before I kissed you."

" _Right_ before you kissed me," Cloud reminded him. "I keep replaying that moment over in my head, even though it just happened a couple of days ago. I suppose that sounds silly," he muttered, suddenly embarrassed.

"It doesn't sound silly to me," Zack replied. "Not at all. I keep replaying last night over in my head, too," he added, smilling knowingly at Cloud, who began to choke on his beer.

"Zack - " he spluttered, coughing. "Seriously - gods, you're making me self conscious - " Zack found it incredibly endearing - and, he had to admit, it kind of turned him on - how easily embarrassed Cloud could be. He sidled up next to his lover on the picnic table bench, and whispered in his ear.

"You have nothing to be self-conscious about, Cloud," Zack murmured, the tip of his tongue just touching the folds of Cloud's ear, making him shudder. "If anything, you should be proud as hell," he purred.

"Proud...of what?" Cloud asked, gulping. Zack's proximity, and the warm breath tickling his ear was stirring something within Cloud, and he felt the hardness grow between his legs.

"You should be proud," Zack murmured, as he kissed along Cloud's neck, "of what you did to me last night. How you made me come so hard...only you have that effect on me, Cloud," he whispered, gently tonguing the cadet's mouth. " _Only you_."

Cloud swallowed nervously, though his excitement over Zack's sudden horniness was helping him to quickly forget his feelings of nervousness. "Maybe we...should go on another ride soon," Cloud squeaked.

 _I've got something you can ride_ , _Cloud_ , Zack thought wickedly. _Gods, I'd better rein it in...I'm turning into an absolute horndog around him! I can't help it, though..._

"Sure, Cloud," Zack murmured, as he cleared the picnic table of their debris, depositing it into the trash. "Want to go on the Spider next? It's some new ride they have here...I'm not sure what it is."

"Yeah, why not," Cloud said absently, trying to ignore the growing ache between his legs. He stood up to follow Zack, but did so with a groan; walking with a burgeoning hard-on was about to become a real chore for Cloud. He wondered if Zack was experiencing the same thing, after tonguing his ear, and tried nonchalantly glancing sideways to see if Zack was sporting a telltale bulge.

Cloud's stares had not gone unnoticed by Zack, and the SOLDIER grinned, unable to resist the opportunity to tease him about it. "I see where you're staring, Cloud," he said bluntly, chuckling. "You're not very...subtle, you know."

The cadet's face went bright red. "Gods, you would notice, wouldn't you, Zack," he retorted.

"No, it's not a bad thing!" Zack said quickly, trying to reassure Cloud. "Why would I mind that, having my boyfriend checking me out?"

Cloud froze in his tracks, just as they'd reached the queue for the Spider. "Boyfriend?" he repeated, a nervous smile on his face. "Am I?"

"Aren't you?" Zack said quietly, wrapping an arm around Cloud's thin torso.

"I guess I am," Cloud replied, breaking out into a brilliant smile. "So you're my boyfriend, too, then," he added shyly.

"Of course I am," Zack replied assuredly. "We're officially together, Cloud. There's no getting rid of me now!" He and Cloud chuckled as the queue moved up.

"What kind of ride is this anyway?" Cloud asked, eyeing the contraption dubiously. It was, as the name implied, something resembling a giant spider. Ten long, curved metal 'arms' were positioned around a center spoke; at the end of each arm, was a two-seater car to house the riders.

Zack shrugged his shoulders casually. "I don't know what it is," he admitted. "It's new, I guess."

"Huh," Cloud murmured as they both got into the nearest seat. "So long as it doesn't spin."

The ride started up, and Zack and Cloud sat back, relaxing in their seat, their hands joined. As the arms of the Spider began to lift up and down, a look of horror flashed across Cloud's face as he realized that not only were the "legs" of the Spider rotating - the car they were riding in began to spin around like a top.

"Oh no," Cloud moaned, his face going green as his stomach lurched. "Oh gods, no...I'm going to be sick..."

"Shit!" Zack muttered, irritated with himself. "Never would have made you get on if I knew this thing spun around like that. Cloud...just listen to me. Focus. Just...look at me," Zack instructed the cadet, cupping his chin and forcing him to stare him in the face. "Just try to focus on my face, and my voice...ignore the spinning as much as you can...ignore that feeling in your stomach - "

"I can't!" Cloud cried helplessly, keening and moaning as he clutched his stomach. "I'm going to puke. Oh gods..." he mumbled, his head lolling around as his motion sickness got the best of him.

"Damn it, when will this fucking ride end!" Zack exclaimed, gently stroking Cloud's hair; the cadet's breathing became a bit labored as he struggled to keep his lunch down. Moments later, the ride came to a slow stop, and Zack wasted no time in extricating a nauseated Cloud from his seat. Zack dragged Cloud over to a side area, and began gently rubbing on his back, in slow circles. Cloud was half-bent over, hands on his thighs as he tried to brace himself, taking shallow breaths.

"You okay, babe?" Zack asked gently, stroking Cloud's hair.

"I'm - okay, I think," Cloud said, nodding. He inhaled sharply, trying to still the waves of nausea that were washing over him. "Thank you for taking care of me," he said gratefully. "I love you, Zack."

"It's not a problem, Cloud," Zack replied easily. "I love you too." Cloud stared at Zack, not saying anything; his expression could best be described as 'horror struck.'

"Cloud, what's wrong?" Zack asked him. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"It's not - anything like that - oh gods," Cloud murmured tearfully, just before he released the contents of his stomach - including the hot wings he'd just consumed for lunch - all over his own shoes, as well as Zack's.

"Well, you can't say we'll ever forget our second date _now_ , can you," Cloud remarked sourly.

Zack chuckled, and continued to rub Cloud's back and shoulders, hoping to soothe him. "Nope," Zack replied, grinning. "I guess not."


	6. A  Thousand Miles

_If I could fall_   
_Into the sky_   
_Do you think time_   
_Would pass me by_   
_'Cause you know I'd walk_   
_A thousand miles_   
_If I could j_ _ust...see you_   
_If I could j_ _ust...hold you_   
_Tonight_

**A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton**

* * *

_I found another picture of us; this one, was taken on your old cell phone. It's really crooked - both of us are practically diagonal in the picture. You'd taken the picture yourself by holding up your cell phone, while we kissed. You sent me a text of that picture, right after you left - you had told me you'd be looking at it every day you'd be gone from me. It was the first time we were separated like that, in those whirlwhind first days of our relationship. When you left, it felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I didn't know if or when you'd be coming back, and I was scared. But I knew it came with the territory, of being in love with a SOLDIER._

_I should get this photo printed, if only I could figure out how to get it off of this damned cell phone. Your old phone...it's actually obsolete now. Ironic, huh. It's been so many years now, they don't even make this model anymore. I'm staring at the blurry image of us on the display, and I swear I can still remember what your lips feel like, pressed against mine. I know it's only a memory...a very vivid one, but it's one that I'll never let go._

* * *

Amidst much blushing, muttering, and general protesting from Cloud, Zack managed to clean the vomit off of both pairs of shoes. They decided to cut their trip to the amusement park a bit short given Cloud's still-churning stomach, and both men headed back to Zack's quarters so that the cadet could retrieve his belongings and move into his new room, seeing as it was now ready.

Naturally, a sullen Cloud pouted for much of the train ride back, still embarrassed over getting sick on his shoes and Zack's. "Can't believe that happened," he muttered, arms folded across his chest as he sulked. Zack couldn't help but grin at Cloud as he sulked, with his bottom lip sticking out. _I'll be damned_ , the SOLDIER thought, _but Cloud is even cuter when he's pouting. Gaia, I just can't resist him!_ He draped his arm around the cadet's shoulders, pulling him into his side snugly, as they rode the train. Cloud wiggled and squirmed, trying to work himself free from Zack's grip. "Don't Zack," Cloud protested, making a face. "I'm gross. There's puke on my shoes - "

"And there's puke on _my_ shoes, too," Zack argued, interrupting him. "Cloud, relax! It's not your fault...this could have happened to anyone."

"Yeah, but it happened to _me_ ," Cloud said sourly. "Sometimes it feels like there's a black cloud following me." He laughed bitterly. "Ha, a bit of irony there? Maybe that's why my mom gave me the name she did. Maybe there was actually a black cloud outside the window the day I was born, and my mother looked out and saw it..."

Zack smiled indulgently at his lover. "Quit it, Cloud. I happen to _like_ your name. And I seriously doubt you were named under those circumstances. Look...I know you've had a huge run of bad luck lately...to say the least. But you know, some good stuff has happened too. Namely - us."

Cloud's expression brightened, and he smiled at Zack. "Yeah. You're right. Falling in love with you...it's been a bright spot in my otherwise dreary existence."

"Aww," Zack murmured, trying to ignore the lump that was forming in his throat. He pulled Cloud tighter into his side, and buried his face in the nest of blond spikes. "I love you, Cloud," he whispered, brushing his lips against his hair.

"Love you too," Cloud murmured in reply. He lay his arm across Zack's torso, hugging him. "I'm really sorry about your shoes, Zack."

"Will you stop it about the shoes, already?" Zack chided with a smile. "Seriously. If we can't get them super clean, we'll just get new ones. Although I gotta tell ya, Cloud, out in the field? My Shinra issued size fourteens have seen a hell of a lot worse than a little bit of puke."

"Size...fourteen?" Cloud asked, hesitantly. He was fairly certain Zack was referring to his shoe size, and was stifling a giggle as Zack answered.

"Yeah, my shoe size," Zack said, nodding. "And don't go picking on me for my big-ass feet, Cloud. I'm very self-conscious about them!" he warned Cloud, in a serious tone. "The only person I know who has bigger feet than me, is Angeal. But then again, he's taller than me, too."

Much to Zack's chagrin, Cloud began laughing. He frowned at the cadet, and nudged him. "What gives, Cloud? I told you not to make fun of my feet!"

"I'm not!" Cloud insisted, chuckling. "It's just that...well, I was thinking...you know what they say about feet...I guess it's true, then."

Zack stared at Cloud, obviously bewildered. "You've lost me. What are you talking about, Cloud?" he asked, frowning. "What's this about feet?"

"Seriously?" Cloud replied, grinning. "I can't believe you've never heard that one, Zack! They say that...well, that the size of a man's feet, is proportionate to the size of his...um..." The cadet's voice faded as his face turned a flattering shade of magenta.

Zack laughed uproariously, and kissed Cloud on the cheek. "Oh gods, Cloud," he said, chuckling. "You kill me. So, I guess that means...you were impressed, then? With my shoe size, that is."

Cloud grinned, leaning into Zack's side. "Yes. _Very_ impressed, as a matter of fact."

"Oh, well good," Zack replied, grinning. He leaned forward, glancing down at Cloud's feet. "Hey, wait a minute," he said, frowning, a slight grin working the corners of his mouth. "What you just said...doesn't make sense. I mean, look at your feet, Cloud. They're...well, next to mine, they're small."

"Zack - everyone's feet are small next to yours. Except maybe a chocobo's," Cloud deadpanned.

"I am _so_ going to get you for that, Strife," Zack said playfully. "And to think, I was just about to pay you a _compliment_ \- "

"A compliment?" Cloud said eagerly, looking at Zack expectantly. "Tell me! What were you going to say?

"Aha," Zack murmured, grinning devilishly at Cloud. "I'm not telling you now. Not after you insulted my feet."

"Well, fine then," Cloud retorted, smirking. He tilted his head up as the train pulled into the next station. "Uh, looks like this is our stop, Zack." The SOLDIER nodded in acknowledgement, and the two men got up from their seat and exited the train. As they passed through the train station, Zack glanced up at the large clock on the wall above. "Wow, where did the day go, huh Cloud?" he commented, wrapping an arm around the cadet's narrow shoulders. "It's after three already. Let's head back to my place and get your stuff...then I'll help you move everything into your new place." He pulled Cloud into his side, with a gentle yet possessive touch.

"Okay," Cloud replied absently. The nearness of Zack was once again driving him to distraction, especially as he replayed last night over and over in his mind; the scent of Zack's heated skin, how it felt when Zack's lips first touched his cock; and how Zack tasted...

The cadet suddenly realized, once again, that he'd drifted off into space with his lustful thoughts, and hadn't heard a word Zack had uttered. "Cloud, seriously...it's like you're on another planet," Zack observed, laughing. "Where do you keep going, man?"

"I - I -" Cloud stuttered. _I'm horny, damn it!_ Cloud groaned softly as he felt desire pooling in his groin. Walking back to Zack's quarters would prove to be most difficult now.

"It's nothing," Cloud muttered, shoving a hand in his pants pocket. He gasped, as his right hand brushed against his member, quite by accident. "I'm just - distracted."

"Hmm," Zack murmured, saying nothing. _He's walking funny_ , Zack realized, trying to hide a grin. Cloud's _horny, and doesn't want to admit it! I could have fun with this..._

"So, what do you want to do tonight, Cloud?" Zack asked. His own thoughts were turning lewd as well, but Zack made his best effort to keep things light; after all, he and Cloud had gone much further than Zack had even anticipated they would, the night before. The SOLDIER steadied his breathing; the truth was, he was just as horny as Cloud was; yet, he didn't want to push Cloud - he wanted to let the cadet take the lead, as far as intimacy was concerned.

"Uh...you mean, like...go out somewhere?" Cloud asked, blushing.

"Sure," Zack returned, shrugging his shoulders, doing his best to appear nonchalant. "Unless...you'd like to stay in?" He grinned knowingly at Cloud, who turned an even deeper shade of crimson.

"I don't know why I'm feeling so self-conscious around you, Zack," Cloud muttered quietly, as they approached Zack's building. "I mean...you've already seen me naked, right?" He chuckled nervously as Zack unlocked his door, and held it open for Cloud.

"Good point," Zack replied with a grin, waggling his eyebrows at Cloud as they entered the apartment. "Except…it was kind of dark, you know. I couldn't see all that much, damn it." Cloud snickered, as he sat on a kitchen chair and gingerly removed his soiled shoes, grimacing as he did so. "Oh gods, Zack, these are gross," he muttered, carefully. "Yours…probably are too. I'm going to need to change," Cloud continued, babbling to himself. "Not that I have many sets of clothes left, but I think I have something clean. And I totally need a shower—"

Zack's ears perked up at this, and he dipped his head down near Cloud's, who was oblivious to the SOLDIER's close proximity until he felt Zack's soft lips caressing his cheek.

"I'll join you," Zack murmured in a low whisper as he came up behind Cloud, wrapping his arms around the cadet's torso.

"You'll…join…me? Ohh," Cloud moaned, as Zack kissed him gently up and down his neck. "Zack...stop..." he protested mildly, even though Cloud wanted Zack to do anything _but_ stop his attentions to the sensitive flesh of his neck.

"Found a sensitive spot," Zack whispered, nipping lightly at Cloud's flesh. "Cloud…we don't have to do anything you don't want to, I hope you know that. We don't even have to shower together if you don't want to—I just thought - "

"No, I _do_ want to," Cloud interrupted firmly. He flashed a cheeky grin at Zack as he stood up from the chair, turning toward Zack, and began backing away from him. "These clothes are dirty," Cloud said as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a lean muscled torso, and tossed the garment to the floor. He then moved his hand to the front of his pants, and unbuttoning them, slowly slid down the zipper; Cloud eased his pants off, letting them fall, as the weight of his belt pulled them down rapidly to the floor. Zack took in a sharp breath as he realized what was happening – Cloud was performing a striptease for him, for Gaia's sake! Cloud grinned at Zack as he kicked the pants off and to the sides. He was shocked at his own boldness with Zack; never before had he felt this comfortable with another man, enough to let down his guard. There was just something about Zack that made Cloud feel at ease, the more time he spent intimately with the man. It both unnerved and excited Cloud.

"Cloud," Zack rasped, his mouth suddenly gone dry. "You have no idea what this is doing to me…or maybe you _do_ , hmm?" he murmured, smirking. The SOLDIER advanced toward Cloud, who was still walking backwards, and was now standing in the living room wearing naught but his boxer shorts - and, oddly enough, purple socks.

"Dead sexy," Zack purred, nodding at Cloud. "Those socks, man...they're turning me on." He and Cloud stared at each other for a moment, and simultaneously, they burst out laughing. "So much for my plan to seduce you," Cloud said, snickering. "I forgot...about these," he muttered, staring down at his feet with a grimace.

"And, speaking of feet!" Zack interjected, smiling wickedly at Cloud. "Speaking of feet...you know what they say about feet, don't you Cloud?" he asked teasingly.

"Shut up!" Cloud protested, laughing. "You're not going to drop that now, are you?"

"Nope," Zack murmured, advancing toward Cloud, his gaze unwavering. The SOLDIER moved slowly and seductively toward his target, who stood there transfixed; as much as Cloud had enjoyed taking Zack by surprise with his impromptu striptease, now the tables were turning, and Cloud felt as if he was Zack's prey, being stalked.

Not that Cloud minded this. He stood stock-still until Zack reached him, framing the cadet's face with his large, warm hands, as Zack slowly kissed Cloud. Moaning softly, Cloud leaned into the kiss, as Zack's hands swooped around the cadet's backside, cupping his buttocks. He hoisted Cloud up, and murmured a directive into his ear: "Wrap your legs around me, Cloud."

Zack didn't have to tell him twice. Cloud grabbed around Zack's neck for support, then wrapped his legs around Zack's waist; the motion brought the underside of Cloud's erection in direct contact with the SOLDIER's, and both men groaned pleasurably at the sensation.

"Good thing you're carrying me," Cloud whispered in Zack's ear, as his lover carried him down the hall toward the bathroom. "I don't think I could walk if my life depended on it."

"Why's that?" Zack asked him, praying to the gods that in his excitement, he didn't trip and fall and drop Cloud onto the floor.

"Because," Cloud said quietly with a grin, "I may faint." Setting Cloud down on the tiled bathroom floor, Zack grinned at him, kissing him again. He quickly stripped off his own clothing, and shimmied out of his boxers, his muscled chest fairly heaving as he tried to slow his breathing.

Cloud's eyes instantly shifted down to Zack's pelvis; the SOLDIER's erection was pointing due north, bobbing slightly as Zack moved toward Cloud again. The cadet gasped as he felt Zack's warm, muscled arms wrap around him, cocooning him in a tender embrace. It always felt so good to Cloud, just being held like this by his lover; however, as Zack's member brushed against his own, through the thin cotton of Cloud's boxer shorts, the cadet thought he might lose his damned mind.

"Gotta turn the water on," Zack whispered, as he turned and stepped away from Cloud. The cadet's eyes roamed Zack's backside as the SOLDIER leaned over to turn the shower on. "After you," he murmured to the cadet, who nodded wordlessly as he stepped into the steamy shower. Zack followed him, pushing himself and Cloud underneath the spray of the showerhead.

"We're dirty," Zack said huskily. He cupped Cloud's cheeks and kissed him, the hot water plastering their hair down over their eyes. "Mmm," Cloud moaned throatily, his tongue dancing against Zack's as they kissed. He felt Zack's erection rubbing against his own, and briefly wondered if things would go further than they had the night before. Gods knew that Cloud wanted Zack as much as Zack wanted him – perhaps even more. Cloud's thoughts were racing, and the more he thought about it, the more conflicted he felt. His head kept telling him things were going too quickly, but his heart didn't want to hear it.

"Shampoo?" Zack inquired as he slowly broke the kiss. He reached over to a corner shelf in the shower, and grabbed a bottle of shampoo, holding it toward Cloud.

"Thanks," Cloud said with a smile, as he took the shampoo from Zack. He lathered up his spikes with the substance, then handed the bottle back, and Zack did the same. "Feels good," Zack murmured, stepping under the showerhead to rinse off, after Cloud was done. "Gods, Cloud," he continued, rubbing the cadet's cheek with his thumb. "So beautiful…you're…so beautiful…" His voice trailed off, and he dipped his head down, kissing Cloud tenderly. They remained like that for a moment, water cascading over them both, nearly drowning out the sounds of the outside world.

"Did…did you just hear something?" Cloud said, gasping for breath as he came up for air, breaking from the kiss. Zack frowned and cocked his head, as he strained to hear. His eyes went wide as the sound grew louder, and recognition set in.

"Shit! It's a fire alarm!" Zack yelled, shutting off the water taps immediately. "Fuck! We have to get out of here, Cloud! Shit, where did we put our clothes, oh fuck!" The two men knocked their skulls together as they scrambled in their haste to get out of the shower.

"Damn it!" Cloud shouted, slipping slightly on the tiles, weaving to and fro as he stuck his arms out to keep from falling in the shower. "I…think everything's all over the place. Oh, shit, Zack! We can't go out there _naked_!"

"Here, take my robe," Zack called, grabbing the garment from its hook on the door as he tossed it at Cloud. "I'll just…wear a towel, I guess," Zack said, shrugging, wrapping the bath towel around his waist. "Whatever."

"How can you be so calm about this!" Cloud shouted after Zack, as they raced out of his apartment.

"What?" Zack replied, as they padded down the corridor, bare feet still damp from the shower. "It's just a fire drill, Cloud. We have these all the time. I'm sure there's nothing wrong, we were due for one of these anyway – "

"Not that," Cloud hissed, drawing Zack's robe around him as he realized the entire student body was gathered outside, in the center of the quad. "I mean," he continued, lowering his voice. "Everyone will know what we were doing, Zack!"

Zack laughed as they stopped amongst a crowd of students and SOLDIERS, awaiting the all clear. "Cloud," Zack said in a low voice. "Seriously, just chill. Look, we're not the only ones who got caught in the shower when the alarm went off. He nodded toward a group of cadets who were clad as Zack was, in nothing but a bath towel. The men were shivering in the early evening air, some in varying states of undress as Cloud and Zack were.

"Well, maybe you're right," Cloud relented. "Still, that was bad timing."

"Yeah," Zack agreed, chuckling. "I'll say. For many reasons. Maybe…we'll continue that later, huh?"

"Maybe," Cloud replied with a grin. He glanced up, frowning, as he heard his name being called.

"Cloud! Cloud, is that you?" came a voice. It was Dill, followed by Zane. "Holy shit," Dill said, laughing when he saw Cloud. "Not a good time to take a shower, was it?"

"Yeah, it wasn't," Cloud said, grinning, praying that Dill and Zane didn't figure out that he and Zack had been showering _together_ when the fire alarm sounded. .

"Well, don't feel so bad," Dill muttered, grimacing. "I was in the middle of taking a shit." Zane and Zack laughed at this. "It's not funny, damn it!" Dill snapped at Zane. "Uh, hi sir," he said to Zack. "Um…sorry."

"No, don't worry about it, Dill," Zack replied, chuckling. "I didn't mean to laugh at you, really. It was just…well, funny. As you can see, I was caught off guard too."

"Yeah," Zane muttered, raising an eyebrow as his gaze shifted back and forth from Cloud, to Zack, and back again. _Shit_. Cloud thought worriedly. _He knows. See, everyone will be able to guess! I don't want Zack to get into trouble! I know he told me not to worry about that, but I still can't help it..._

"Cloud's going to be moving into your quad, guys," Zack said, smoothly changing the subject. Cloud smiled at him gratefully.

"Yeah," Cloud said, nodding. "I was going to do that…well, right after my shower, move my stuff in."

"Awesome!" Dill crowed, high-fiving Cloud. "Hey, if you need help, man…let me or Zane know."

"Looks like they're giving us the all-clear," Zack said, nodding at the cadets. "Let's all head back in."

* * *

Zack and Cloud quickly got themselves dressed, after which Cloud finished packing up the rest of his belongings, not speaking much while he did so. He knew, of course, that he'd definitely be seeing Zack again, but was already dreading waking up the next day in his new dorm room - alone.

"If you're all set, let's...get your stuff and head on over to the resident director, Cloud," Zack said with a heavy sigh. His thoughts were similar to Cloud's; already, he knew he'd be missing having the quietly funny blond sharing his space - and his bed.

"I don't want to," Cloud muttered, hoisting the box on his hip as he tried to balance it. "I mean...it'll be nice to have my own room again, after what happened to my old one. I like the idea of starting fresh, after...well, after almost getting blown up. It's just that -"

"You'll miss being here with me," Zack said, finishing Cloud's sentence for him. He gave a heavy sigh, and smiled ruefully at Cloud. "And I'll miss having you here, Cloud. Especially in the morning - waking up with you in my arms was just...you know, amazing." Zack sighed again, and smiled again. "Got anything else, Cloud? If you need me to carry anything-"

"Yeah," Cloud interrupted, nodding toward a smaller moving box placed near the couch. "That one there is going with me too. And my backpack that I've got on me already...and that's it. That's everything," the cadet concluded, a bit stunned at the realization that the bomb attack by Fredo's minions had reduced his wordly possessions down to two cardboard moving boxes - one medium, one large . Not that Cloud had arrived on campus with a ton of items in the first place. Zack nodded in acknowledgment, and the two men exited the apartment, Zack locking up behind them. "Resident director is in the same building we're heading to, so that works out."

"Cool," Cloud murmured, shifting the box in his arms to right it as they continued on their way. He fell silent for a moment, feeling a mix of emotions; nervous anticipation and excitement over his new living space, along with sadness over ending his temporary stay with Zack.

"I feel like I should buy you a housewarming gift or something," Zack joked as they walked across the quad, side by side, carrying the boxes in front of them. "What would you like, Cloud? A houseplant, maybe?"

Cloud chuckled. "It would probably shrivel up and die under my care, Zack. I've never been good with plants."

"It's a shame you can't cook in your room," Zack said, frowning. "Because you're damned good at it, you know. I'd get you...some pots and pans, or something like that, if you had a kitchen."

"Maybe," Cloud said coyly, smirking, "you'll just have to invite me to your place again, and I'll cook dinner for you."

Zack grinned widely. "That sounds like a good plan, Cloud," he said softly. They had reached the east quad and entered the building; Zack proceeded down the corridor, leading the way toward the resident director's office. The director was seated at her desk, head down as she pored over some paperwork spread out on her desk. Zack quietly rapped at the open door, and waved as the director lifted her head up. She smiled as she recognized Zack. "Hi Zack," she called out in greeting. "What can I do for you?"

"Hey, Ms. Trask," Zack replied. He motioned to Cloud, waving him into the office. "Cloud, this is Ms. Trask - not sure if you've met her yet. She's the director of resident life here," Zack explained, introducing him. "Ms. Trask, this is Cloud Strife - he's been reassigned a new room, I'm just helping him carry a box," he concluded, grinning.

"Oh, right!" Ms. Trask replied, standing up. "Hi Cloud...nice to meet you. Let me look for your room key, and I'll walk you over."

"Nice to meet you too, ma'am," Cloud replied politely. "And thank you." Moments later, the woman reappeared, holding a key ring. "If you two will follow me, I'll show you to the room. Right this way." She walked past Zack and Cloud, waving them along to follow her. "The room's just been recarpeted," she informed Cloud, "so there might be a bit of an odor from that, but it should pass soon."

"I'm sure it won't be a problem," Cloud murmured. They finally came to Cloud's new room, and Ms. Trask opened the door for him. "It's your standard dorm room - it's set up as a double, but it looks like you'll be rooming alone for now," she explained. "Two beds, two small closets - and there's your study area," Ms. Trask said, pointing to two tiny desks that were arranged at right angles to each other against the back wall. "Pretty basic."

"The officer's quarters _are_ a bit roomier," Cloud quipped, smiling at Zack. "This is nice and cozy, though," he continued, setting his box down on the floor. "It's nice to have a room again."

As Ms. Trask raised an eyebrow curiously, Zack hurriedly explained. "Cloud stayed with me while they were getting the room re-carpeted and ready, since he had nowhere else to go."

"Oh," Ms. Trask replied, nodding. "Well, that was very nice of you to offer Cloud a place to stay."

"Yes," Cloud cut in, agreeing. "It really was." He smiled again at Zack, gratefully.

"Well, I'll leave the key with you, Cloud," Ms. Trask said, removing it from the lock. She handed it to Cloud, who quickly pocketed it. "I can show you around as soon as you're settled – although the layout is rather similar to the west quad – "

"That won't be necessary, ma'am," Zack interrupted, putting on his most charming smile. "I don't mind showing Cloud around before I head back. I think I can spare a few minutes for him." His blue eyes sparkled mischievously as he winked at Cloud, who blushed and stared into the carpet.

"Oh, that's great, Zack!" Ms. Trask replied, beaming. "It's so nice of you to take such an interest in the cadets, Commander. Thank you!"

"Not a problem," Zack said, giving Ms. Trask a casual wave as she departed. "Bye!" Cloud was already bent over his boxes unpacking them, as Zack shut the door after seeing Ms. Trask out.

"Want some help?" Zack purred, moving right behind Cloud and sliding his arms around his torso.

"That's….not really helping me unpack things, Zack," Cloud muttered, his voice thick. The cadet's breathing became labored as Zack gently ran his hands up and down Cloud's ribcage, his hips, fingertips gently stroking the hollow between his pelvis and the top of his thighs…

"S-s-stop it, Zack," Cloud whispered weakly. Truth be known, he didn't really want Zack to stop touching him – ever.

"Why?" Zack asked in a near-whisper, licking the outside of Cloud's ear. "I'll stop if you want, though..." Zack was ever fearful that he was perhaps pushing things a bit too quickly with the traumatized cadet – again – but gods be damned, the SOLDIER was horny. And the one thing Zack knew above all else, was that he was hopelessly in love with Cloud, and it had all happened in the blink of an eye. It still stunned him, the quickness of it all, whenever he paused to think about the past few days he'd spent with the cadet.

"Bed," Cloud said hoarsely, trying to will his legs to carry him over to the small, twin size bed. He still wasn't sure how far he was willing to go with Zack, but his libido won out over his other conflicting emotions. Cloud took several steps backward, and fell bonelessly onto the bed, and pulled Zack down onto him, kissing him. The SOLDIER groaned as he ran his hands up and down Cloud's lithe young body.

"Tell me if you want me to stop at any point, Cloud," Zack whispered as he ran a hand up the back of his shirt. He ground his pelvis down into Cloud's, eliciting a moan and a sigh from the cadet.

 _I want this_ , Cloud told himself, praying that he could stave off any doubts and fears he was having. _I want Zack so badly..._

"Don't stop," Cloud finally said aloud, struggling to catch his breath. He touched his fingers to Zack's face and smiled tenderly at him. "I want you, Zack. I want to feel you...inside of me."

Zack swallowed hard and nodded. "Um...okay," he said hesitantly. "I, ah...I'm not prepared right now. I mean...your first time, Cloud, we'll definitely want to use some lube."

"Oh," Cloud said. His voice sounded surreal to him, not his own. "I...guess that's a good idea then."

"I have some at my apartment, though," Zack told him. "Maybe we should - "

"Yeah," Cloud nodded, extricating himself from Zack as both sat up on the bed. "Let's go get it." The cadet cocked his head as he heard someone knocking at the door. He groaned and rolled his eyes at Zack. "Who could it be now?" he complained. "Talk about bad timing."

"Make that _horrible_ timing," Zack agreed, nodding. He sighed and stood up, stretching his arms over his head as Cloud went to answer the door.

"Oh...hi guys," Cloud said upon opening the door. Standing there were Dill and Zane, and both appeared to be dressed to go out.

Dill peered past Cloud and spotted Zack, giving him a small wave. "Shit...did we come at a bad time?" Dill asked, grimacing.

"Told you we should have called first, idiot!" Zane snapped. Cloud laughed lightly. "Uh...don't worry about it," he said politely. "I was just getting settled in."

"We just stopped by to see if you're going to battle of the bands," Dill replied. "But, if you guys are busy..." Dill shoved his hands in his pockets as Zane coughed uncomfortably; it was obvious to both, by now, that they'd interrupted something.

"Actually..." Zack began, glancing at Cloud. "We were...thinking of going out later, right Cloud? I mean, we gotta get a bite to eat soon, too. What time do the bands go on?"

"Doors open at seven, but I don't think the first act is until eight o'clock," Zane replied. "And frigging Quinn's gonna be there, too," he groaned. "I need as many cockblockers with me as possible," he quipped. The room erupted in laughter, Dill and Cloud both snorting the loudest. "Oh Gaia," Cloud murmured, laughing. "Is she still after you, Zane?"

"She is," Zane confirmed, rolling his eyes. "I can't get rid of her! She's a sweet girl, but..."

"Yeah, but dude - you keep encouraging her," Dill cut in. "And come on, admit it - you like her too. You just don't know what to _do_ with a girl."

"Like you do," Zane retorted. "Give me a break, Dill."

"I have no interest in women, moron," Dill retorted. "I'm _gay_ , remember?"

"Oh?" Cloud remarked, suddenly interested. He saw Zack raise an eyebrow at the revelation as well. Cloud had suspected that Dill was gay, but didn't exactly want to come out and _ask_ the guy, point blank.

"What, you're surprised?" Dill remarked, chuckling.

"Not really," Cloud admitted, grinning. "I mean...you know...gaydar, and all that."

Zack, Dill, and Zane laughed heartily. "Yeah. I know," Dill replied, grinning cheekily. "You know, Quinn's gaydar ain't working too well, because she was barking up my tree before she took a shine to Zane here."

"Barking up the _wrong_ tree, apparently," Zack commented, chuckling. "Hmm….Cloud, have I met Quinn yet? She sounds like a character."

"That's a nice way to put it," Zane muttered, sighing. "Anyway. Enough about her. You guys want to join us? I think we're going to get something to eat along the way, right Dill?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Dill replied distractedly. He gave Cloud an oddly sheepish look, as he ran his fingers through his shock of red hair. "Want to just meet us there? Yo, Zane, why don't we go to Kimo's, get some sushi."

"Kimo's is awesome," Zack interjected, practically salivating. "That okay with you, Cloud?"

Cloud nodded. "Yeah, sounds perfect. It's walking distance, right? I think I've been by there..."

"So, it's a plan, then," Zack concluded. "Why don't we meet you guys there, say in ten minutes? I might see if anyone else wants to go, too. Maybe Kunsel...he doesn't get out much, you know." At that moment, Zack's phone rang. "I gotta get that. See you guys later," he called to Dill and Zane, waving at them.

"Sounds good," Dill said, as he and Zane turned to leave. "We'll save seats for you guys. Hey, uh...Cloud?" Dill said quietly, almost whispering. "Come here a sec, just want to have a word with you." Cloud glanced briefly at Zack and shrugged his shoulders, then sauntered over to where Dill was waiting by the door.

"Just wanted to say, Cloud, I'm sorry if we busted in on something," Dill whispered apologetically. "And don't say anything," he continued, lowering his voice even further, ""but Quinn's definitely gonna be there too, tonight. Actually, I told her to come, but Zane doesn't know that." He snickered conspiratorally, quickly glancing over his shoulder to see if Zane was eavesdropping.

Cloud chuckled along with Dill, glancing over at Zane, who was standing further down the corridor, polishing his dark-rimmed glasses, oblivious to the conversation. "Dill, you're evil," Cloud told the redhead. "Are you really sure that he likes her, though? He claims that he can't stand her."

"That's how Zane is," Dill replied, nodding knowingly. "He doth protest too much. And, he's fucking clueless around women."

"But so are we!" Cloud quipped, grinning. He really liked Dill, and his fellow cadet's revelation that he was also gay seemed to put Cloud at ease. "See you guys in a few, then," he told Dill, as he shut the door.

Turning around, Cloud was not prepared for what he saw next; Zack's face was crestfallen - the smile that had been there moments before had completely vanished. He was muttering to himself in a low tone, frowning.

"Zack?" Cloud said hesitantly. "What's the matter?"

"Gods, Cloud," Zack muttered, running his hands over his face and rubbing his eyes. "I just can't believe this. That phone call...that was Director Lazard. Angeal and I are being sent to Wutai, immediately. I have to go back to my place and pack some things. I'm sorry, Cloud." Advancing toward Cloud, Zack hugged the cadet tightly to his chest, kissing the top of his head. "I'm sorry it's so sudden, but given the circumstances..."

"Wutai?" Cloud repeated, feeling as if his heart was falling into his stomach. He knew, of course, that any member of SOLDIER could be dispatched anywhere at any time, and yet - it was different when that SOLDIER was _Zack_. "What's going on there?" Cloud inquired, looking up at Zack. Cloud knew full well that there was a war going on there, but according to rumours floating about, the long conflict was about to reach its end; Shinra was confident that Godo Kisaragi would eventually break, and cave in to their demands to establish a Mako reactor on the island country.

"That war's been going on for years, Zack," Cloud continued. "Why do they need you now?"

"Don't know," Zack replied, shrugging his shoulders slightly, still holding Cloud in his arms. He sighed heavily, and cupped Cloud's chin, tipping his face upward as he kissed him. "I have to go, angel," he whispered softly. "I'll miss you."

"I know," Cloud replied sadly. "I'll miss you too, Zack. You have no idea how much. Come back to me safe, okay?"

Zack smiled, and kissed Cloud again. "I will," he said confidently, nodding his head. "That's a promise. Hey, wait a sec." He reached into his pants pocket, and grabbed his cell phone, flipping it open. "I want a picture of you, so I can see your face every day." He held the phone at arm's length, aiming the camera lens at Cloud's face; as the warning flash blinked, Cloud impulsively stood on his toes and kissed Zack. They heard the shutter click, and the photo was taken.

Pressing a button on the cell phone, Zack cued up the photo, and smiled. "It's perfect," he said, his voice growing hoarse with emotion as he turned the phone to show Cloud the display as well.

"Yeah," Cloud whispered, struggling to keep his tears from flowing. He muffled his sob by burying his head on Zack's shoulder. "I know it's a thousand miles from here to Wutai," Zack murmured in Cloud's ear, "but you, Cloud...I carry you in my heart. You'll be with me every step of the way."

"I swore I wasn't going to cry, Zack," Cloud whispered, now unable to hold back the tears. "Shit," he muttered, sniffling. "Now you're all wet," Cloud said, attempting a smile. He brushed his salty tears from Zack's shoulder, and gave the SOLDIER one last kiss. "You'd better go now," Cloud said, reluctantly parting from Zack. "They'll be waiting for you."

Zack nodded. "I know. Hey, be good while I'm gone, okay, Cloud?" he said lightly, forcing himself to smile. "And don't forget about me. Hey, I'll text you that picture I just took...so you won't forget."

"I could never forget you, Zack," Cloud said quietly, his chest heaving as he forced back another sob. "I love you."

"I love you too, chocobo," Zack replied, ruffling Cloud's blond spikes. "I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?" He gave Cloud another fast kiss, then quickly left the cadet's dorm room, waving at the sad-eyed blond as he left.

Zack stood outside in the corridor for a moment and inhaled sharply, then sighed. "Knew it'd happen sooner or later, but it sucks all the same," he said to himself. He rubbed his eyes quickly and cleared his throat, then, after glancing back at Cloud's door briefly, headed toward the exit, and walked back to his quarters.

* * *

**A/N: Soooo, here we go - getting into the depressing parts of Crisis Core. :\** **The Wutai stuff is going to follow canon as closely as possible, though I am going to take a few liberties in rewriting/rearranging certain key events in the next chapter.**


	7. Wish You Were Here

**Warnings for this chapter: Language, some violence, and a lemon.**

* * *

_So, so you think you can tell  
Heaven from Hell?_   
_Blue skies from pain?_   
_Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?_   
_A smile from a veil?_   
_Do you think you can tell?_   
_And did they get you to trade  
Your heroes for ghosts? _   
_Hot ashes for trees?_   
_Hot air for a cool breeze?_   
_Cold comfort for change?_   
_And did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?_   
_How I wish, how I wish you were here._   
_We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,_   
_Running over the same old ground._   
_What have you found? The same old fears._   
_Wish you were here._

**Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd**

* * *

Cloud stood in the center of his room, hands by his sides, staring in mute disbelief at the shut door that Zack had exited through moments before. He swore he could still hear the echo of Zack's voice in the air, just lingering as if it were wafting smoke that refused to dissipate _. I'll be back as soon as I can..._ Cloud still heard those words, the last thing Zack had told him before leaving so suddenly on an unexpected mission.

A few minutes passed, and Cloud remained standing where he was, feeling empty and melancholy – yet, wanting to do anything else but to stay in his room all night, alone. He started, suddenly remembering where he and Zack had been intending to go this evening – to meet up with Dill and Zane, and heading to the battle of the bands. _Don't know how much fun I'll have now_ , Cloud thought, as he grabbed his jacket _, but it's better than sitting around here feeling sorry for myself._ He shut the lights off in his room as he hastily left, shutting and locking the door behind him.

 _Maybe it won't be so bad, going out without Zack_ , Cloud told himself. _I mean - it sucks that he's gone so suddenly, obviously. But at least I'll be with friends...the few that I have here, anyway._ He checked his watch, and walked across the street, heading toward Kimo's, where he knew Dill and Zane would be waiting.

* * *

After hurriedly packing some toiletries and essentials into his Shinra-issued duffel bag, Zack practically flew out of his apartment, nearly forgetting to lock up behind himself in his haste. Lazard's voice had sounded clipped and brusque during the brief telephone call; it made Zack wonder what was wrong. Zack knew something had to be up, with the haste in which he'd been summoned and assigned to go to Wutai immediately.

Gathering his items, Zack hoisted the duffel bag over his shoulder, and set out, his destination being the briefing room. The SOLDIER's worries were confirmed when he entered the room and saw both Lazard and Angeal standing there silently. Angeal's face was ashen, and bore a fretful expression. Zack's instincts had been correct - something was _very_ wrong.

"Angeal," Zack blurted, setting his bag down on the floor as he went over to his mentor. "What's the matter? And...where's Genesis?" he asked, looking around.

"That's exactly what's the matter," Angeal told Zack in a dull monotone. "Genesis...is gone."

"Gone?" Zack echoed. "What do you mean _gone_ , Angeal?" His eyes flit back and forth from Lazard to Angeal, worriedly, looking to either one for an answer.

Lazard cleared his throat before explaining. "I was just briefing Angeal on the situation before you arrived, Zack," he said. "It seems...that Genesis has defected. He was sent to Wutai - "

"What?" Zack interrupted, disbelieving. "Angeal - is this true? Where did this come from? I mean, I just saw Genesis the other day, and he seemed fine!"

"Slow down with the questions, puppy," Angeal cautioned Zack, with a weary smile. "I...I just don't know, Zack," the elder SOLDIER continued, shrugging his shoulders. "As you said...Genesis seemed fine. But I guess that injury of his...something happened where it didn't heal - "

"What injury?" Zack blurted, interrupting again. "Sorry, Angeal," he said apologetically. "I don't mean to keep interrupting, I'm sorry. Just...go on, please."

"We were battling each other, maybe a month ago, in the training room. The three of us - myself, Genesis, and Sephiroth," Angeal explained. "Things...got heated between Gen and Seph. Of course, that left me in the middle, with the two of them hissing at each other like cats."

"Of course," Zack murmured, nodding. He knew all too well how Sephiroth and Genesis would frequently push each other's buttons, although it was usually good-natured. "What happened?"

"Genesis was injured," Angeal said. "His blade struck mine, breaking it…and the piece that fell off, pierced his shoulder. And of course, you know Genesis...I believe his pride was hurt more than anything. Initially, anyway. The wound...it got worse. He took pains to hide it from me, but I knew something was wrong. That it wasn't healing as it should."

"I wonder why it didn't heal? I mean...the Mako in our systems...that's supposed to help us heal, right?" Zack asked, perplexed.

"It accelerates the regeneration of tissue, yes," Lazard said, cutting in. "I hate to break this up, but we really must get you two out to Wutai, immediately. Reno is standing by, ready to fly you both out."

Angeal nodded, and clapped Zack on the shoulder, gazing steadily at him. "Right," the SOLDIER said. "Let's do this, Zack. Let's finish this war...and hopefully, we'll find Genesis...talk some sense into him, and bring him home."

"Yeah, I'm ready," Zack replied, setting his jaw firmly. "Director?" he said, addressing Lazard. "Will you be staying here at headquarters?"

Lazard shook his head negatively. "No," he replied slowly. "I will be heading to Wutai, yes - but later on. I have a few things to take care of here before I leave. I will reconnect with you both when I get up there."

"Understood," Angeal replied, nodding. "Okay, then. Let's head out, Zack."

Zack nodded, and followed alongside his mentor, out toward the transport. He could see the worry lining Angeal's face; no doubt concerned for the MIA Genesis. _They've been friends forever, but only got involved with each other recently_ , Zack thought, recalling Angeal's revelation that he and Genesis were now in a relationship. _I can't imagine how worried I'd be, if it was Cloud who was MIA_ , Zack thought sympathetically. He pictured the young cadet's face as he got onto the helicopter behind Angeal, and smiled wistfully.

 _I haven't even taken off yet_ , Zack thought ruefully, _and I'm missing you already, Cloud. Gods, I hope we accomplish our mission quickly and successfully, so I can come back home to you soon._ Sighing, he nodded to Reno, who was in the pilot's seat, going through his pre-flight checklist. "Ready when you guys are," Zack told them, as he took his seat.

"All right then," Reno drawled, flipping switches on the instrument panel as he adjusted his headset. "Sit back and relax, yo. I'll have us up there in no time." As the helicopter lifted off, an unfortunate and fleeting thought went through Zack's head.

 _You know it's a possibility any time you ship out...any SOLDIER knows that...but good Gaia, what if I don't come back this time? What if that was the last time I'll ever see Cloud?_ He blanched, and tried to push the thought out of his head, as Reno piloted the helicopter into the sky, the skyline of Midgar's upper plate soon vanishing from sight.

* * *

Cloud could see the question in both Zane and Dill's eyes as he entered the sushi bar. _Where's Zack?_ He already knew they'd ask, and so Cloud decided to just come out with it before the question was even uttered. He took a seat next to Dill - and across from Zane, who, Cloud noted with some amusement, was seated next to Quinn. She was a petite girl, with black hair cut in a short pixie style, some of it left longer in the front, sweeping over her eyes. Her eyes were a brilliant, sky blue with a hint of lavender – instantly reminding Cloud of Zack. _Almost looks like she has Mako eyes_ , Cloud thought, recalling what Zack had told him about vivid eye color being a mark of those in SOLDIER.

"Zack's gone to Wutai," Cloud told his friends as he sat down in the booth. "Lazard called him right after you guys left. Hey, you must be Quinn," Cloud said in greeting to the girl. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Cloud," Quinn said sweetly. "And it's nice to finally get out, you know? I think my brain is fried from materia class," she moaned.

"It's not _that_ hard, Quinn," Zane said, a bit condescendingly. "Really. It just takes practice."

"Not everyone's a complete dork like us, Zane," Dill reminded him, grinning. He turned to Cloud, giving him a sympathetic glance. "So just like that, Zack's shipped out, eh? That sucks, man."

"Yeah," Cloud said quietly. "I...miss him already. But , I didn't want to sit around and mope, either...so here I am."

"Well, I'm glad you're here, Cloud!" Quinn said, grinning. "We'll have fun tonight...a few girls from my floor will be there too." Cloud and Dill both held back a snicker as they saw Zane rolling his eyes. "Oh," Quinn added. "We only just ordered appetizers, but here's a menu," she told Cloud, shoving the menu toward him across the table. "The Ultima roll is really good," she informed him.

"Ultima roll?" Cloud repeated, amused. "Wonder what's in that."

"Well, hopefully not materia of the same name," Dill cracked. "I've never seen that kind of materia, by the way...it's supposed to be very rare."

"You weren't paying attention in class, were you, Dill?" Zane chided, grinning. "Lieutenant Runderson went over all the rare types of materia the other day. The rarest one has never even been seen, so it's pretty much chalked up to existing only as a myth."

"I _was_ paying attention, ass," Dill retorted, grinning as he popped a rice cracker in his mouth. "Knights of the Round is the rarest one, according to legend. But yeah...it probably doesn't even exist...just another fairy tale," he said dismissively.

"Most myths or legends have some shred of truth behind them," Cloud said thoughtfully, closing the menu. "Maybe it's out there somewhere, who knows?"

"Yeah, okay, Strife," Dill said, jeering. "You think you'll find it someday? I mean...Runderson said it's like, ten summons in one. _Ten_! That is unreal, man. Such a thing cannot be possible," he declared dubiously.

Cloud shrugged his shoulders as the waiter came by to take their order. "Who knows, Dill," he replied, smiling at the redhead. "Maybe I will find it. Someday."

"Well, good luck with that, Cloud," Quinn said in a teasing tone. "Everyone ready to order?" she polled the table. As her companions nodded, Quinn started with her food order, and instructed their server to bring them some sake.

The drinks and food were brought out quickly, and the pleasant banter between the friends over dinner comforted Cloud. _At least I'm not moping in my room,_ he reasoned. As enjoyable as the evening was becoming- and Cloud was ever grateful for the acceptance of his newly-found friends, he still felt hollow, detached. _Zack...things just aren't the same without you here._ It was true; in the brief time that Cloud had known Zack, and had come to love him - the young SOLDIER was a bright, constant thing in his life, which was quite frequently in a state of chaos.

Cloud sighed without realizing it, as he grabbed a piece of pickled ginger with his chopsticks, and carefully lay it on top of his sushi roll. Dill made a sympathetic clucking noise. "Guess you must really miss Zack, huh?" he muttered quietly, an odd expression on his face.

"Yeah," Cloud replied. He shook his head, trying to bring himself out of his reverie. "Sorry," he said apologetically. "I don't mean to be a downer."

"Don't apologize," Dill said, trying to reassure Cloud. He hooked an arm across the blond cadet's shoulders in a casual manner. "And, tonight'll be fun. I mean, I'm sure some of the bands will suck, but that just means we can heckle them, right?"

Zane groaned. "Please don't get us thrown out of there like you did last time?" he pleaded.

"Hah," Dill snorted. He removed his arm from Cloud, elbowing him good-naturedly, and turned his attentions back to his meal. "This is a different club than last time, Zane. Gods, you worry so fricking much, you're like my _dad_."

Quinn giggled at this as Zane huffed indignantly. "I do _not_ ," he retorted.

The waiter soon came by with their bill, and everyone fumbled with their wallets, searching for the correct change. Dill threw a twenty gil note on the table, and shook his head at Cloud, when the cadet moved to place his money on the table. "My treat," Dill said with a wink. "Okay," the redhead continued, standing up as he spoke. He gave Cloud a quick nudge with his elbow. "Cloud and I are going to take off, leave you two lovebirds alone! Meet you later at the club."

Quinn blushed as Zane stared in disbelief at a grinning Dill, who was shoving Cloud out toward the door. "What—?" Cloud began, but was unable to finish his question, as Dill escorted him outside, stifling his laughter.

"What the hell was that about?" Cloud asked once they were outside. "I thought Zane hated her?"

"The hell he does," Dill scoffed, lighting up a cigarette as they walked along the promenade. "He's such a dumbass. He has no idea what to do, so…I gave him a little shove. What? Why you looking at me like that, Cloud?"

Cloud grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Nothing. That was…pretty sneaky though, Dill."

"It was, wasn't it?" Dill remarked, chuckling. "Don't worry, though. Zane'll thank me in the end. That dude needs to get laid."

"So do I," Cloud muttered automatically; then blushed as he noticed Dill staring at him with a smirk. "Um - sorry. I didn't mean to say that out loud - "

"It's okay, Cloud," Dill replied, sighing. "I know you miss your guy. I've gotta admit, though - I'm kind of jealous. I mean, way to go for the brass ring, Strife, landing a first class SOLDIER!" he said teasingly.

Cloud's face reddened even further. "Yeah, well, um...I didn't exactly expect any of this to happen. It just...kind of did, you know?"

"Lucky," Dill murmured. "Well - I'd say you deserve some good luck now, ya know? The year didn't start off too great, eh?"

"Don't remind me," Cloud muttered. They approached the club, and a large queue had already formed, snaking around the perimeter of the building.

"Hey, Cloud," Dill said seriously, turning toward him as they took their place at the end of the queue. "I didn't mean to give you so much crap...about you and Zack. I just wish that I could find someone too." He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets, as the line began to shuffle forward.

"I hope you do too, Dill," Cloud said sincerely. "Who knows...maybe you'll meet someone here," he remarked, nodding toward the club's entrance and grinning.

"Hmm," Dill murmured gazing thoughtfully over the crowd. "Maybe. Okay, Cloud. It's time for Operation 'Get Dill Laid.' You ready? I'm counting on you as my wingman!" he said brightly.

"Oh gods," Cloud murmured, stifling a laugh as they paid the cover charge and entered the club. "What am I getting myself into here?"

* * *

On the flight to Wutai, Zack took great pains to avoid the conversation topic of "Where's Genesis." Just by studying Angeal's worried face, Zack knew that bringing up the subject would only make things worse. So he kept the conversation light, and wondered a bit if he might be making things worse; almost as if he was pretending everything was okay.

 _Everything is not okay_ , Zack mused, as he discussed the hopefully benign topic of swords and weaponry with Angeal. _Genesis is MIA, and now they think he deserted..._

Zack looked over at Angeal, suddenly aware that his mentor was addressing him _._ "You know what I always say, Zack," he remarked, caressing the handle of the Buster Sword, which was propped up next to him. "Use brings about wear and tear...and rust. It's wasteful."

Zack laughed easily, amused by Angeal's conservative attitude toward using his weapon. "I know, Angeal," he replied, chuckling. "You always say that! But...what if you actually need it this time? We could be walking into anything, once we get to Fort Tamblin."

"I know," Angeal said, nodding. "But I can still do a fair amount of damage with materia...and, with these," he commented, flexing his heavy fists.

"I'll say," Zack murmured in agreement. "Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that." _And let's hope we find Genesis_ , he thought to himself.

"Coming in low over the southernmost point of Wutai," Reno called back to his passengers. "I'm dumpin' ya off here, boys. You'll have to hike through the mountain pass...sorry about that. If I come in over the north side, you'll lose the element of surprise."

"It's fine," Angeal said gruffly, as Reno the helicopter dipped lower, preparing to land it. "A little stroll isn't going to hurt either one of us."

"Not at all," Zack agreed readily, quickly checking his materia and sword before disembarking. As soon as Reno landed the chopper, he and Angeal both unstrapped themselves from their seats, and exited the helicopter.

"Reno, make sure you stand by," Angeal instructed. "One of us will radio you when we need to be lifted out of here."

"Roger that, yo," Reno replied lazily. He leaned back in his seat, relaxing. "I'll be right here when you're ready. Tseng'll be coming in later, too, he's bringing Lazard, I'm told."

"Let's go, Zack," Angeal urged quietly, as the younger SOLDIER jumped out of the helicopter, landing on the ground. "Let's bring Genesis home."

* * *

It was a decent hike through the mountain pass of Wutai, up and over the rope bridge that connected the southern half of the island nation with the northern side. Angeal remained even quieter than he was normally; the much-chattier Zack usually filled up the silence with his cheerful banter, whenever Angeal was in Silent Mode. Yet now, with the knowledge that Genesis was MIA, and possibly a Shinra deserter, even Zack wasn't in the mood for small talk.

They'd just passed over the rope bridge, when Angeal brought up the subject himself. "Don't know what in the hells Genesis was thinking," he muttered. "I just hope...that I can reason with him, if we find him."

" _When_ we find him, Ang," Zack corrected gently. "I'm...sorry. Sorry that you're going through this. I didn't want to talk about Genesis until you brought him up, but...I know you're worried about him. I am too, you know."

Angeal sighed wearily as they made their way down the hill; plumes of smoke from the northern village were now visible, and the muffled sounds of fighting echoed through the air. They were now closer to their target: Fort Tamblin.

"I appreciate that, Zack," Angeal said, turning to the younger man. "He's my best friend, you know? I don't want to think about it...but I don't know what I'll do if something's happened to him. And if it's true that he deserted...well, then I guess it'll be over between us. I cannot have someone in my life that does not behave honorably."

"Maybe...well, maybe if he _did_ desert the army...maybe he had a good reason?" Zack offered helpfully. The suggestion was met with a glaring frown by Angeal. "There is no reason on Gaia that is 'good' enough to behave so dishonorably, Zack," he snapped. "Have you learned nothing from me?"

"Don't talk down to me, Angeal," Zack retorted. "I understand what you're saying, about honor - I do! But Genesis would never do that!"

"I'm sorry, Zack," Angeal murmured in apology. "I hope you're right...I don't want to believe it myself, that Genesis could do such a thing. Look sharp, now," the SOLDIER continued in a low voice. "Make ready your weapon, just in case; we're nearing the fort now." As they crept along, taking care to hide behind trees and shrubbery as they advanced, Zack and Angeal took in the sight of Fort Tamblin looming before them. The fortress was heavily guarded in front by scores of Wutaian troops; the SOLDIERS would, of course, have to proceed cautiously.

"Some of our Shinra troops are already here," Angeal informed Zack. "They flew out before we did." Anticipating Zack's next question, as he saw Zack looking around, searching for the men, Angeal grinned, and told him, "Troops are in hiding, waiting for my next command. I'll inform them we've arrived."

Zack nodded, tightening his hand around the handle of his sword, as Angeal took out a cell phone and punched in a number. "This is Hewley," he barked into the phone. "We're here now, just outside the entrance. We'll await your cue."

"What's our cue?" Zack asked, after Angeal ended the call.

"A bomb," Angeal replied solemnly. "Company B is going to set off an explosion, to distract the Wutaians - that's our cue to move in."

"Got it," Zack replied, crouching a bit as he and Angeal took cover behind a low-lying hedgerow. Once again, Zack's thoughts briefly turned to Cloud; he wondered what the young cadet was doing. _Hope he went out with his friends, or something_ , Zack fretted. _I wouldn't want him to sit at home worrying about me._ He smirked, realizing that he was doing the very same thing he hoped Cloud was not doing - worrying.

The noise of the explosion jarred Zack out of his complacency, and he sprang to his feet, locking eyes with Angeal. "Game time," Angeal whispered, hoisting the massive Buster Sword over his shoulder. "Flanking positions as we approach, Zack." The pair silently crept toward the fortress, weapons unsheathed and ready.

A Wutaian guard - a young man who didn't look to be more than Cloud's age - was the first to spot Zack. He raised an alarm, crying out, as he rushed toward Zack, brandishing his katana. Zack stepped forward, sword raised, and he quickly struck the guard down. Several more rushed at Zack in a group; swinging his sword in a large arc, Zack skillfully felled four men with several blows of his weapon. He looked over at Angeal, and saw several bodies lying motionless on the ground, as Angeal caught Zack's gaze.

"Everything okay?" he asked Zack briefly. The younger SOLDIER nodded affirmatively. "Yeah, I'm good," he replied. "Looks like we took down their front line, anyway."

"Don't get too cocky," Angeal warned. "There will be more where those guys came from. Stay sharp."

"I am," Zack said, nodding. "Don't worry about me. Angeal, what's our next move?"

"You take the dojo," Angeal replied authoritatively, nodding toward the structure located behind Fort Tamblin. "I'll secure the fort, make sure we're clear out here; after that, we'll reconnoiter in the central area. After the entire area's secure…we'll begin the search for Genesis."

"Damned right we will," Zack replied brusquely, shouldering his sword. He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, and took a deep breath. "Good luck, Ang."

"You too," Angeal replied. "I have faith in you, puppy," he called out over his shoulder as he left, smirking.

"Hey!" Zack called to Angeal's retreating figure. "I'm not a puppy!" He split off from Angeal, heading in the opposite direction, toward the small dojo. He narrowed his eyes, squinting; the sun was beginning to set, and visibility would be growing poor fairly rapidly. Zack drew back as a small, shadowy figure darted across his path; he raised his sword as the figure flew toward him, apparently intending to attack.

It was a small child, fists flailing – she couldn't have been more than ten to twelve years of age, Zack reckoned. "Go away, Shinra bastards!" the girl shrieked, her small fists pummeling Zack. "I can take down all of you! I'm the greatest ninja that Wutai – and the world – has ever seen!" she declared confidently.

Zack stifled a laugh, and hid a grin – this kid was serious, and the last thing he wanted to do, was to hurt some little girl's pride. _War is hell_ , he thought, suddenly morose _. But most of all, on the kids who grow up with it…not knowing anything else._

 _Damn, this girl has some sharp nails!_ Zack thought, coming out of his musings. The girl was still flailing furiously at him, scratching and jabbing at him. _Might as well play along with it,_ the SOLDIER finally thought. _Let her think she got the best of me…and maybe she'll go away. I'm not about to hurt some kid just to secure this area._

He ducked and rolled to the ground, feigning an injury. "You got me, ninja!" he pleaded, trying to sound pained. "Ow, ow, ow! Please…stop it!" he cried theatrically, moving his head to dodge her tiny fists.

"You give up so easy, huh?" the young girl crowed triumphantly. "I knew it. I'm telling my dad, I just kicked a SOLDIER's ass! Ha ha ha!"

Zack continued to lay on the ground, groaning as if he'd been injured and overcome by the petite girl. Of course he hadn't been; he was faking it, for her benefit. He lay there quietly, feigning that he'd slipped into unconsciousness, trying his damnedest not to laugh as the self-proclaimed little ninja toed his seemingly motionless body with a sneakered foot.

"Guess I really did it," the girl murmured, her voice tinged with awe. "Shit, wait until dad hears about this! Godo's daughter can kick some major ass after all!" Zack waited until the sounds died off, and he was sure the girl had disappeared. He stood up quickly, glancing around, in case the girl had decided to double back and check on her 'handiwork' again. "Godo's daughter?" Zack repeated, wondering. "Could that have been…the Kisaragi girl?"

Shaking his head, and knowing he had a job to do, Zack quickly pushed the thought out of his head, and proceeded on to the dojo. Pushing the door open, two monsters - chimera, Zack thought quickly - flew at him instantly. Raising his sword, Zack slashed through the two creatures quickly, killing them both. A third monster sprang up from the shadows, just behind Zack, and he spotted it out of the corner of his eye just before it struck. He dropped and rolled underneath the creature as it leaped into the air, and slashed at its gut with his sword. The beast shrieked in pain, and fell to the ground, nearly crushing Zack; the monster would have landed right on top of him, if Zack had not quickly rolled himself out of the way.

Wiping blood and sweat out of his eyes - not even sure if it was his blood, or that of the beast's - Zack slowly got to his feet, relishing the sound of silence around him. Mako eyes quickly scanned the area; there seemed to be no other creatures lurking about the dojo. The three beasts he'd just felled lay lifeless on the floor, their chests no longer expanding and contracting to take in air.

"Looks pretty dead to me," Zack muttered to himself, wiping the blade of his sword on his pants. He wrinkled his nose in distaste at the stench of blood. "Gods, that stinks." He turned on his heel, heading back out the front door of the dojo, when he felt - and heard - a sudden _whoosh_ behind him, and a taloned claw reached around his shoulder, piercing the flesh.

"Ow, damn it!" Zack yelped, spinning around. He gaped at the sight before him; it was the monster he'd just gutted, and presumed was dead. _Oh shit,_ Zack fretted. _Not quite dead yet, is he. Shit!_ Zack scrambled to get a grip on his sword, but the handle, still wet with blood and sweat, was sliding in his gloved hand. "God damn it!" he roared, falling on his back. He kicked up at the beast, which was now bearing down on him. The monster's guts were spilling out through the hole Zack has sliced through its side, and the stench was overpowering, causing Zack to gag. Still, the wound seemed only to make the beast angrier; Zack recognized a fire in its eyes, and knew the creature wasn't about to cease its attack.

He felt a sharp sting in his forearm, as a talon sank into the flesh; the pain caused Zack to momentarily lose his already tenuous grip on his sword, and the monster used its long, prehensile tail to flick the weapon out of Zack's reach. "Oh gods, I am totally fucked now," Zack moaned, the beast pinning both of his shoulders against the floor.

_Cloud...I'm so sorry...I tried...tried to come home safe like you asked me to. I love you..._

Suddenly Zack felt the pressure on his shoulders lessen, and the creature turned its head, distracted by something. Zack scrambled back, away from the monster, feeling around for his sword. He grinned widely once he saw the reason for the creature being distracted - _Angeal_. The SOLDIER had stabbed the monster in the back with the Buster Sword, and beheaded the thing in one, smooth stroke of the oversized weapon.

"Angeal, gods...am I glad to see you!" Zack exclaimed. He went over to where Angeal was squatting near the dead monster, carefully wiping the grime from the blade of his beloved sword. Angeal looked up briefly and smiled at Zack, then finished polishing his blade.

"Uh...thanks for that, man," Zack said gratefully, scratching his head awkwardly. "You saved my life. But um...Angeal? I thought you didn't like using your sword? I remember you said it was _wasteful_ ," he said teasingly.

Angeal stood up and clapped a hand on Zack's shoulder and grinned. "You're worth more than my sword, Zack," he said softly. "But only a little."

"Thank you," Zack said sincerely. "I thought I was a goner - I could have sworn that thing was dead!"

"Never turn your back on the enemy, Zack," Angeal cautioned him. "Fort is secure now...we're going to head back out into the forest, our troops have a camp set up out there. Lazard and Tseng will hopefully have arrived by now."

"Okay," Zack said agreeably. "Let's go."

* * *

It was well after midnight when Cloud stumbled back to his dorm room, feeling slightly tipsy from a few too many beers. Dill - along with a second-year cadet named Mason, who the redhead had picked up at the club - walked Cloud back to his room, good-naturedly cautioning him not to throw up all that beer. Cloud smiled ruefully, recalling the unfortunate incident where he'd vomited on his amusement park date with Zack.

"Zack..." Cloud uttered the name aloud, his voice breaking the still silence of his dorm room. The lack of a reply only served to further remind Cloud that Zack was not there. "I miss your voice," he whispered, as he lay back in his bed, kicking his shoes off as he stared at the ceiling. The room was spinning only slightly now, as Cloud's hangover began to subside.

 _You'd be laughing at me now, Zack. And I know I'll probably have a righteous headache in the morning._ Still, much to Cloud's surprise, he'd actually had a pretty enjoyable evening out with his friends. He grinned, recalling Dill's antics as his friend tried hitting on anyone who looked remotely 'available' at the club. Interestingly enough, there had been no sign of Quinn and Zane at the club.

"I bet they're having a huge fight now," Cloud had fretted. "Maybe we shouldn't have left them alone like that, Dill."

Dill had waved Cloud's concerns off with a snort of laughter. "They'll be fine. I bet they're shagging each other rotten now. I suppose I'd better knock a few times when I head back to my room," he remarked, grinning wickedly.

Cloud began to feel a bit out of place, was when Dill worked his charms on Mason - an older cadet of medium height, with dark hair, green eyes, and a chiseled jaw. "Mine," Dill had declared to Cloud, pointing at his conquest as he downed a shot of liquid courage. "Wish me luck with this one." And Dill's easy, flirtatious manner seemed to do the trick; Cloud was rather impressed with how quickly Dill had convinced Mason to get out on the dance floor with him. It was then that Cloud _really_ began to feel like a fifth wheel, and began concentrating more on drinking. One beer followed another all too easily, and before he knew what was happening, Cloud felt pleasantly buzzed.

The alcohol had finally caught up to him when he saw Dill bring Mason over - apparently wanting to introduce him to Cloud - and the blond cadet slid off of his barstool, hitting his chin on the bar. "S'okay," Cloud had murmured. "Jus' a little drunk. I'm arright..." Dill and Mason then insisted on walking Cloud back, just to make sure he got to his room safely - and, without passing out along the way.

Cloud had swayed drunkenly as he waved at Dill and Mason, shutting the door behind them. "I'll be fine, dun worry," Cloud slurred. "Dun do anyfin I wouldn't...do," he snorted laughing as he bid the two good night, collapsing on his bed shortly thereafter.

As Cloud lay in his bed, the pleasant numb feeling caused by the alcohol began to wash over him, lulling him into a stupor; soon thereafter, he fell asleep, still in his clothes.

* * *

Angeal and Zack met up with Lazard before they even reached the camp; the Director had just landed moments before, and had been making his way toward the campsite himself. "Angeal, Zack," he called out, greeting the two SOLDIER's as they walked toward him along the path leading from town. "Just arrived. Tseng is here as well. Have you secured Fort Tamblin?"

"We have," Angeal replied briefly. "I'd like to begin the search for Genesis now...and deal with him as necessary," he said firmly. "I will see to it that he answers for what he has done...if he has indeed deserted."

"Fine," Lazard said distractedly. "Genesis was last seen heading toward Da-chao; let's all of us head up there, I'll have Tseng meet us there as well," the Director commented, flipping open his cell phone to call the Turk Commander.

Zack and Angeal both heard the noise at the same time, and looked at each other curiously. "We're not alone here," Angeal said in a low voice. "Zack - you get Lazard back to the camp safely. I'll deal with these jokers," he said, nodding. Several shadowy figures began to appear, coming out of the mist-covered forest. They appeared to be human, Zack thought, but he couldn't make out any specific details. He noted with some interest, that they were moving oddly.

"Go!" Angeal shouted at Zack, who was standing there with Lazard, hesitating. "Get him out of here! And come back and help me when you're done."

"Okay," Zack murmured, quickly ushering Lazard away from the unknown attackers, who were now circling Angeal. "Sir, let's go!" Zack cried, urging Lazard along. The two men broke into a fast canter, running back down the worn dirt path, heading toward the camp. Zack flinched as he heard the sounds of battle behind him, wishing he could go back immediately to assist his friend and mentor. _Gotta get Lazard to safety, then I'll go back,_ Zack silently vowed.

"We're here," Lazard said, slightly out of breath. Zack stepped forward, addressing a Shinra infantryman who was heading toward the mess tent. "Private," Zack said to the man. "Please escort the Director here to a safe place - we're under attack again."

The infantryman saluted Zack, and nodded. "Understood, sir. I'll alert everyone here. Is the action close by?"

"Too close for my liking," Zack murmured. "I'm heading back to assist Commander Hewley - we may need reinforcements."

"Anything you need, sir, we're at your disposal," the private replied. "Come on, Director," the man told Lazard. "This way."

Zack nodded, and in an instant, was gone, running at top speed back to the area where Angeal had been fighting. "Angeal!" he shouted, raising his sword. It suddenly occurred to Zack that the area was completely silent...and there was no sign of Angeal. "Angeal! Where are you?" A blast of heat hit the side of Zack's face, and as he turned, saw a familiar looking summon. _Ifrit_.

"Oh shit!" Zack muttered, crouching into a defensive stance as he readied his sword, and ice materia. "You know," he snapped at the fiery summon, now towering over him and about to throw a fireball at him. "This is turning out to be a fairly shitty day. You're going down!" _Who the hell summoned this thing, anyway?_ Zack wondered briefly, not seeing another living soul around.

Ifrit grinned its unnatural, fiery grin at Zack, as it breathed out a jet of fire at the SOLDIER, catching the edge of Zack's boot. "Ow, you fucker!" Zack yelped, stamping on the ground to put out the flames. "Take that!" Drawing back his arm, Zack thrust it forward again, casting an ice spell on the summon. It stunned the monster momentarily.

 _Thank Shiva that I remembered...well, my Shiva materia_ , Zack thought with a grin, running his finger over the summon materia ball nestled in the handle of his sword. "Oh, you're going to love this, big guy," Zack said tauntingly. Pointing his sword at Ifrit, Zack cast the summon, and watched the two summons do battle; after several exchanges of fire and ice between the two entities, it seemed that Ifrit was bested by Shiva, and about to retreat.

"Thank Gaia that's over with," Zack murmured, turning away, as he began to search the area for Angeal. "Oh...you have _got_ to be kidding me!" Zack exclaimed, as he felt another blast of heat hit him in the back. "Not again!" He pivoted around to face Ifrit once again.

"Allow me," came a familiar, silken voice. Zack glanced sideways, and saw the tip of masamune glinting in the moonlight, before he even saw the face of the graceful weapon's owner.

"Sephiroth," Zack said, his voice tinged with relief and exhaustion. "Glad you're here. Angeal's disappeared - "

"Hold that thought, " Sephiroth said, cutting Zack off, as he dispatched Ifrit with a single sweep of his masamune. Turning back to Zack, Sephiroth raised a silver eyebrow and said, "You were saying?"

"Uh...Angeal's gone missing, General," Zack reported. "We were ambushed by these men here," the SOLDIER continued, nodding toward the prone bodies lying on the ground. Sephiroth kicked at one of them, rolling the man onto his back; Zack recoiled as he recognized the man's face. "It's...it's Genesis!" Zack cried out, disbelieving.

Sephiroth walked around each body, turning them over one by one, so that they were face up. All of them were identical, bearing the face of Genesis. "Genesis copies," Sephiroth remarked coolly. "These must be the SOLDIERS who defected along with Rhapsodos," he concluded coldly.

"What? Genesis copies?" Zack blurted, feeling exhausted and confused. "How - how is that possible?"

"You'll be briefed when we return to Shinra," Sephiroth told him, in a clipped tone. "It would appear that Hollander has gone rogue as well...and, according to some research papers we've uncovered since his disappearance - Hollander apparently figured out a way to implant Genesis's cells into donor bodies, in order to create a Genesis copy. Clearly," Sephiroth concluded, "Angeal has joined his friend as well, and defected from SOLDIER."

"No!" Zack shouted, protesting. He glared at Sephiroth, blue eyes blazing with fury. " _No_! Angeal would not betray us like that, I refuse to believe it!"

"Hmpf," Sephiroth grunted, shrugging his shoulders. "We shall see." Sephiroth flipped open his cell phone, and dialed a number. "Yes, we're ready now. Send Reno to fetch us."

"Zack, we're returning to headquarters immediately," Sephiroth told the SOLDIER. "I'll be giving my report to the President and the Vice-President; you are excused from duty for the next twenty-four hours. Get some rest…and report back to Lazard Monday morning for your next assignment. I am not sure when - or where - you'll be shipped out next, but we'll need your help in the search for the two missing SOLDIERS. Also, we're obviously going to need some coverage for classes come Monday morning, with Genesis and Angeal gone."

"I'll fill in wherever I'm needed, sir," Zack offered. "Just let me know."

"I will," Sephiroth murmured. He snarled, kicking one of the Genesis copies out of his way, as he and Zack headed back toward the landing area. "This," he declared, "will _not_ end here."

* * *

Cloud's head was pounding as he began to awaken; he had the strangest sensation that the pounding was keeping a steady beat, much like a bass drum. "Oh gods," Cloud moaned, sitting up slightly. The headache wasn't as bad as it had been before; but the drumbeat sensation was not going away. "I need an aspirin."

 _Someone's knocking at the door_ , Cloud realized, shaking his head as he noted the time on his alarm clock. _It's six in the morning on a Sunday. Who can it be, this fucking early?_ Grumbling, he shook his head, and forced himself out of bed to answer the door.

Cloud was still feeling sleepy and out of it as he answered the door, rubbing his eyes. Yawning, he unlocked the door, and opened it, and stood there wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the sight of Zack, standing there, still in his SOLDIER uniform.

"You really do have the cutest bedhead, Cloud," Zack murmured, stepping into the doorway as he wrapped his arms around Cloud in a tight hug. "Gods. I missed this. I missed _you_ …so, so much."

"Zack!" Cloud exclaimed, burying his face in the SOLDIER's chest. "I wasn't sure when you'd be back…gods, I'm so glad you're here." He sniffled a bit as he studied Zack's weary face; Zack was smiling, but it was a tired, reluctant sort of smile; not the usual enthusiastic smile that Cloud so loved.

"What's wrong, Zack?" Cloud asked quietly. "Tell me…tell me what happened."

"Okay," Zack replied, sighing. "Aren't you going to invite me inside, though?" he asked, grinning slightly. "I just got back...and I came right here. I'm sorry if I woke you, Cloud...but I had to see you."

"No, it's okay," Cloud replied, smiling. "I missed you...I'm glad you're here. And come on in. Sorry to leave you standing here, I know you must be exhausted."

"It's okay," Zack said, following Cloud inside. He set his duffel bag down on the floor near the closet. "Mind if I sit down here?" Zack asked, nodding toward the small twin bed. "I guess I am a little tired, now that you mention it," he mumbled, yawning.

"Of course not," Cloud said. Zack kicked his boots off, and lay himself down on the bed. Cloud sat at the foot of the bed, hoping that Zack had enough room.

"No, come up here with me, Cloud," Zack said quietly. "It'll be a tight squeeze, but…I just want to hold you."

"Okay," Cloud replied, nodding. He scooted up the length of the bed, and nestled himself into Zack's side. It was becoming quite apparent that Cloud's small bed wouldn't be big enough for the both of them, but Zack didn't seem to mind. He pressed his nose to Cloud's soft blond spikes and inhaled his scent, as he held the cadet to his chest. "I need you, Cloud," Zack whispered. "I've had a pretty bad day."

"Tell me," Cloud pleaded. "Please…tell me what happened. I've never seen you like this, Zack…you're worrying me."

"I'm sorry, babe," Zack replied, tilting Cloud's face up and kissing him. "Mmm. Gods, I wasn't even gone that long, really…but it feels like I was gone forever. So much has happened, in just the past twenty-four hours." Cloud murmured sympathetic reassurances to Zack as he kissed him. "It's okay, now," Cloud whispered. "You're here."

"I guess you're wondering what _did_ happen, then," Zack said, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. "Ow. I think we should go to my place later on, maybe." He smiled at Cloud, stroking his face. "I need to get a quick nap, and that's not going to happen on this bed."

"We can do that," Cloud said agreeably.

"I have some bad news, Cloud," Zack said flatly, the smile suddenly vanishing from his face. "It's…Genesis. And now, Angeal. They're both gone. Disappeared."

Cloud gasped, and sat up, staring at Zack in disbelief. "What?" he blurted, incredulous. "How – what…where did they go, Zack? What do you mean, disappeared?"

"Our mission," Zack explained, "was to finish taking out the rest of the Wutai troops, and bring an end to the conflict. Along with that…we had to search for Genesis. He had suddenly disappeared just the other day, after being sent out there….taking some SOLDIERS along with him. Seconds and thirds, mostly."

"He…deserted, then?" Cloud asked, a sick feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. "Oh gods. That's just…terrible. What about Angeal, what happened to him?"

"I don't know, Cloud," Zack said worriedly. "One minute he was fighting some…Genesis clones. I know, it sounds weird, Cloud," Zack said, noticing the look of alarm on the cadet's face. "I don't quite understand it myself. Sephiroth…he showed up too, and said they'd found evidence that Hollander and Genesis had teamed up. I guess Hollander knew how to take cells from Genesis, inject them into a donor body – "

"And make clones?" Cloud interrupted, amazed. "That's…that's just fucking crazy!"

"Hollander is fucking crazy, apparently," Zack remarked sourly. "Anyway. Lazard showed up late in the day – we got ambushed, I took Lazard back to camp while Angeal fought these copies of Genesis…and when I got back there, he was gone. No trace," Zack concluded sadly. "And Sephiroth jumps to the conclusion that Angeal deserted too, and followed Genesis."

"You don't believe that, though, do you?" Cloud asked quietly.

"No," Zack replied, shaking his head stubbornly. "No, I don't." The SOLDIER yawned and stretched uncomfortably on the tiny dorm bed. "Shit," he muttered, chuckling. "This is not a good place for me to nap. Come with me, Cloud? I want to take a brief nap…but at my place, where there's a normal bed."

"Okay," Cloud replied, stifling a yawn. He grinned. "I guess I'm a little tired too."

"Yeah…I kind of woke you up, didn't I?" Zack commented, chuckling. "Hey. I just noticed….you still have your street clothes on. So what did _you_ do last night, hmm?" he asked teasingly.

"Drank too many beers," Cloud replied with a smirk. "I didn't throw up, though. You'd be proud of me. I went out with Dill and Zane for a bit…and the beer tasted really good."

"You're a lightweight, you know. Gotta be careful with that!" Zack admonished him, jokingly. "Ungh." Zack grunted as he and Cloud sat up, and both slowly stood up. "Let's go to my place, Cloud. I'm sorry I won't be much fun for a while...I really need to get a little sleep...but I'd like you there with me. Unless you're busy?"

"Busy?" Cloud scoffed. "Of course I'm not busy. We can take a nap together...then maybe we'll get something to eat later?"

"Sounds perfect," Zack agreed, kissing Cloud. "Go and grab some clothes. I'm guessing you'll be wanting to change out of those," he said, looking Cloud up and down, and grinning.

"Yeah," Cloud muttered, quickly throwing a few items into his bag. "And I'll be needing a shower, too." The cadet locked turned off the lights, and locked up his room, then walked with Zack across the quad to the officer's building.

"Shit," Zack muttered, fumbling for his key. "Oh. Here it is." Opening the door, he ushered Cloud inside, and made a beeline for his bedroom. Cloud followed behind him, setting his bag down on the floor.

"Sorry," Zack murmured, as he began to undress. "I'm just going to lay down for a while...still tired. Join me?"

"Don't be sorry," Cloud told Zack. "And yeah...I'll join you too, but I think I want to grab a quick shower first. That okay?"

"Of course it is," Zack said tiredly, yawning. His eyes were already beginning to shut as he got underneath the bedcovers. "Thank you, Cloud. For...being here for me."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Cloud said softly, moving over to Zack's side and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. Within seconds, the SOLDIER was out cold, lightly snoring. Cloud grinned at the sight of Zack's mouth hanging slightly open as he slept.

He went into Zack's bathroom, grateful that he still had a toothbrush there, and quickly brushed his teeth, then took the quickest shower possible, wanting to curl up next to his boyfriend right away. Cloud had barely dried off when he bounded back into the bedroom, and slid under the covers, spooning behind Zack and resting an arm across his torso.

Feeling warm and content, Cloud quickly fell asleep, his breathing becoming synced with Zack's as they lay together, skin-to-skin.

* * *

Some time later, Cloud was woken by the sound of running water. He opened his eyes, squinting, and felt a pang of disappointment as he realized Zack had left the bed. _Zack must be taking a shower_ , Cloud reasoned, cocking his head toward the sound of the running water. He grinned and stretched, yawning, as he pulled the covers up tightly.

"What are you covering up for, Cloud?" Zack said, grinning, as he stepped in the room. Cloud sat up slightly and gaped, the covers falling off of his upper body. Zack was still wet from the shower, clad in nothing but a bath towel.

"I could ask you the same thing," Cloud said teasingly. He laughed as Zack whipped the towel from his body one-handed, and flung it behind him, over his head.

"That takes care of that," Zack quipped. "Cloud...are you naked under there?" he said accusingly, smirking.

Feeling suddenly emboldened - not to mention, horny - Cloud looked up at Zack under half-lidded eyes, and murmured, "Why don't you come and find out?"

"Saucy, aren't you?" Zack murmured. He made it over to the bed in two long strides, and flung the covers off of Cloud, who shivered as the cool air of the bedroom hit his skin. "Ha. You _are_ naked," the SOLDIER remarked, leering. "I knew it."

"Yeah. And, I'm _cold_ now," Cloud said, complaining good-naturedly. "No thanks to you."

"Guess I gotta warm you up, then," Zack whispered, laying on top of Cloud as he kissed him hungrily.

"Mmm. Yeah," Cloud murmured, hooking a leg around Zack. The motion brought their erections in direct contact with one another, and both groaned simultaneously at the pleasant sensation. Cloud pulled Zack into a tight embrace, kissing him, and moaning into his open mouth.

"Cloud," Zack said hoarsely. "I...want you. But only if you're ready."

"I'm ready," Cloud said quietly, nodding. "What...do I need to do? I'm just not sure...this is the first time..." he murmured, blushing with embarrassment.

"Don't even worry about it," Zack whispered. "I'll take care of you." Leaning over to the bedside table, Zack grabbed the container of lubricant, and slathered his fingers with it.

"It'll feel cold at first," Zack warned Cloud, "but it'll warm up quickly. I'll just start with one finger...and you stop me if you feel any pain, okay?"

Cloud nodded, his heart pounding wildly. "I will." He shifted on the bed, lying on his back as he opened his legs apart, allowing his lover better access. Zack inhaled sharply as he slowly inserted one finger, moving it around. "Okay so far?"

"Yeah," Cloud murmured. "It feels...good. I'm okay. Hurry, Zack...I want you inside of me."

"I can't rush this, Spikes," Zack said apologetically. "Trust me - if I do, it won't be pleasant."

"Okay," Cloud replied, sighing. "I trust you. I'm just..."

"Horny?" Zack finished, chuckling. He slowly inserted a second finger, and Cloud gasped.

"Yeah," Cloud muttered, breathless. "Horny."

"So am I," Zack whispered, inserting a third finger, and moving all three digits around. Cloud thought he was seeing stars, and arched his back as Zack moved his fingers in and out.

"Ohh," Cloud moaned. Without warning, Zack withdrew his fingers, and began slicking himself up with additional lubricant. He positioned himself over Cloud, who was looking up at him expectantly, his face slack-jawed with passion.

"Ready for me?" Zack asked hesitantly. His own heart felt as if it would beat clear out of his chest; the moment he'd been waiting for had finally arrived, and he hoped it would be pleasurable for Cloud.

"Yes," Cloud whispered pleadingly. "Please, Zack."

"All right." Zack lowered himself onto Cloud, and positioned himself. He slowly eased his length into Cloud, letting out a long groan as he did so. Cloud hissed at the intrusion, feeling an initial spark of pain; that feeling quickly morphed into a more pleasurable sensation, as Zack thrust in and out of him, slowly.

"You feel so good, Cloud," Zack whispered. "So tight. How...do you feel?"

"Awesome," Cloud murmured, wondering if what he was feeling qualified as a religious experience. He laughed at the thought, causing Zack to raise a quizzical eyebrow.

"I'll tell you later," Cloud said, kissing Zack. "Oh gods, Zack...ungh...there...right there," he groaned, as Zack filled Cloud to the hilt.

"Guess I found a good spot?" Zack whispered, kissing Cloud. "I'm going to go harder now, babe," he warned the cadet. "If it's too much, tell me." Zack quickened his pace, thrusting in and out of Cloud rapidly.

"Don't...stop," Cloud whispered, moaning. He wrapped his legs around Zack, as the SOLDIER drove into him harder. "Feels...so good."

Zack snaked a hand down to Cloud's cock, by now painfully hard. Cloud's hand moved down as well, and he entwined his fingers with Zack's.

"Cloud, I'm almost there," Zack warned him, as their hands moved together over the cadet's aching cock, pumping it up and down.

"Me...too," Cloud said, breathing raggedly. Zack arched his back as he felt himself peak, spilling into Cloud. The cadet looked up at Zack's face, eyes screwed tightly shut as he came. Cloud thought it was one of the most beautiful sights he'd ever seen. His pulse quickened as he felt his own orgasm approaching.

"Ungh...Zack..." Cloud murmured helplessly, Zack's hand working his shaft, stroking furiously.

"Come for me, Cloud," Zack whispered. "Gods, you look so beautiful, when your face is like that." Cloud pistoned his hips up, thrusting into Zack's hand as he came, crying out Zack's name as he did so.

Slowly, Zack pulled himself out of Cloud, and kissed him. "I love you, Cloud," he said softly. "So much. That was..."

"Yeah," Cloud said, dazed. "I love you too, Zack."

"I'll get us a towel so we can clean up," Zack told Cloud, kissing him again. He got up and opened the linen closet, grabbing a couple of small towels, and brought them over to the bed, handing one to Cloud.

"Looks like we'll need showers again, eh?" Zack remarked, chuckling. The two fell silent for a moment, as they finished cleaning themselves.

"Was that good for you, Cloud?" Zack asked him, a bit worriedly. It certainly seemed like Cloud had enjoyed their lovemaking, but given everything the cadet had been through, Zack couldn't help but worry.

Cloud laced his fingers through Zack's black spikes of hair, and kissed him. "Of course. It was everything I had hoped it would be. Better, in fact," he said, smiling.

"Well, good." Zack sighed contentedly, rolling over on his back as Cloud curled into his side, throwing an arm around him. "That was a nice welcome home, you know."

"I'm glad I could help," Cloud replied, kissing Zack's collarbone.

"It's good to be home with you, Cloud," Zack declared. "Hey...I want to ask you something."

Cloud lifted his head up, regarding Zack curiously. "What is it?" he asked, feeling suddenly nervous.

"Well, I was just thinking," Zack continued. "You'll be eighteen soon...so, you'll be legal. Which also means you don't have to live in the dorms, if you don't want to."

"What...what are you saying, Zack?" Cloud interrupted, his heart pounding once again.

"I want you to move in with me, after your birthday," Zack said seriously. "You don't have to answer right away, Cloud. I know - I'm laying a lot on you, but I just want you to consider the possibility - "

"Yes," Cloud cut in, kissing Zack. A huge grin was plastered on his face. "Yes, Zack. I would love to."

"That makes me so happy," Zack said, sighing as he nuzzled into Cloud's neck. "Seriously. You have no idea how happy I am right now." He frowned. "I'm going to have to ship out again soon, though. I hope I'm back in time for your birthday - I'll be really pissed if I miss it."

"It's okay," Cloud said. "I understand if you can't be there...duty calls, right?"

"Yeah, you're right...duty calls," Zack agreed. "But sometimes the timing absolutely sucks."

"Well, if you're not home in time, it's okay," Cloud said, shrugging his shoulders. "I mean, it's only my birthday...there's no need to make a big deal out of it."

Zack raised his eyebrows and stared at Cloud. "Um, what? There is _every_ reason for me to make a big deal out of your birthday, Cloud. I'm going to spoil the hell out of you, and don't you dare argue with me!" he warned him, laughing.

"Okay," Cloud agreed. "I won't. But I'm not used to...a lot of attention on my birthday, though."

"Well, _get_ used to it," Zack replied. "Even if we're not together that day, I'll call you. Maybe I can steal a webcam from Kunsel, even," he joked. "Even if I'm gone from you...nothing will ever keep us apart, Cloud...nothing. Got it?"

"I got it," Cloud said, smiling. He lay his head on Zack's chest, basking in the afterglow, and wondering just what he had done right this time, to feel so happy. _I am so lucky to have Zack_ , Cloud thought happily. _So damned lucky. I hope this lasts forever._


	8. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Zack share continue their intimate moment together before the First Class is sent on a mission to Banora.

  


Cloud didn't want to move - nor did Zack for that matter. The two were a mass of tangled limbs, lazily reclining and snuggling one another in Zack's bed. Not quite asleep, yet not entirely awake, both just wanted to remain in bed for just a bit longer, holding each other, as if they could somehow hold onto the moment by staying in bed.

Smiling happily, Cloud shifted his weight, wrapping his arm snugly around Zack's torso as he planted a gentle kiss along his collarbone. The SOLDIER made a sound of contentment, hugging Cloud into his side.

"I don't want to move, Cloud," Zack murmured, grinning. Cloud scooted up next to Zack, laying his head on the pillow next to him.

"Neither do I," Cloud confessed. "Well...we do need to get some lunch soon, I suppose," he said, feeling his stomach gurgle with hunger pangs. "Guess we worked up an appetite?"

"That we did," Zack agreed, smiling as he kissed Cloud.

"Aww," Zack murmured, wrapping Cloud in a tight embrace. "You know, we are being ridiculously sappy, aren't we," he deadpanned.

Cloud laughed. "I suppose we are. And so what? It's just the two of us here."

They lay silently for a moment, and Zack's mind ran circles, worries running through his mind.

"I still don't know what's going on...you know, the future of SOLDIER," Zack said, rubbing small circles on Cloud's back. He sighed wearily.

"I know you want answers, and to find Angeal," Cloud murmured, trying to be supportive. "If you want me to help...I know sometimes cadets can volunteer for missions - "

"No," Zack said firmly, cutting him off suddenly. "I mean…didn't mean it to come out like that, Cloud," he said, relenting a bit. "Sorry." _It's not up to you to tell him what he can and can't do_ , Zack told himself. _And you can't protect him all the time. Cloud wouldn't want that, anyway._

"I'm not going to tell you what you can do, Cloud," Zack said gently. "I'm sorry I jumped the gun like that. It's just that…we don't know what we're dealing with here, not yet, and – "

"And you think I'm helpless," Cloud interrupted bitterly. "I get it, Zack. I realize I'm still very green – I'd be either completely naïve, or stupid, if I didn't realize that. But I swear to Gaia, Zack, if you treat me like I'm some porcelain doll – "

"I don't treat you like that, do I?" Zack cut in, feeling honestly incredulous over Cloud's assertion. "Cloud. I'm so sorry if I've been acting that way…I didn't mean to," Zack said apologetically. He'd felt Cloud stiffen in his arms, as the cadet began to grow resentful and angry. "Please, don't be mad," Zack pleaded. "I didn't mean to be overprotective, it's just that – you've been through quite a bit – "

"I have," Cloud said, nodding. "But that doesn't mean I won't get better, and stronger. I _have_ to."

"I know you will," Zack said, feeling some pride at Cloud's newfound confidence. "Why don't we get cleaned up, get something to eat…as much as I would like to stay in bed with you _all_ day long…" he murmured, nipping playfully at Cloud's neck.

"But why can't we just stay in bed?" Cloud whimpered, curling his arms around Zack's waist and sighing. Moments later, Cloud's stomach rumbled audibly again, and they both laughed. "Okay…I guess we _do_ need to eat."

* * *

After they'd both showered and gotten dressed, Zack and Cloud made their way down to the cafeteria, ordering sandwiches. It was, by now, midafternoon on a Sunday, and the cafeteria was pretty well vacant.

"I really need to buy a few groceries," Zack mumbled around a mouthful of chicken sandwich. "I tried finding something…edible for us in the refrigerator earlier, and it was kind of scary. I'd better be careful, or Hojo will be taking samples from in there." He chuckled richly at his own joke, not noticing Cloud's confused expression.

"Hojo?" Cloud echoed, frowning. "Who's that? Never heard of him."

"Oh, you probably wouldn't have heard of him Cloud, sorry," Zack replied. "Hojo is the head of Shinra's Science Research division. He's not an instructor at the academy, but he does advise on the science curriculum. He's the one we SOLDIERS have to go to for our Mako treatments."

"Oh," Cloud said, chewing thoughtfully. "Zack? The…Mako treatments…do they hurt? I've…always wondered about that. They didn't really go into great detail in class."

"It's no picnic, Cloud," Zack answered truthfully. "But it's bearable. And, in my opinion, the discomfort is a small sacrifice to make, for the honor of being in SOLDIER."

"Right," Cloud agreed, nodding. "I know…it'll take a lot of hard work and dedication, but…I want that, someday. I want to be in SOLDIER, too."

"I know you will be, Cloud," Zack said. "And I'll do everything I can to help you train." They finished their meal, and began gathering up their trash, carrying it over to the bin.

"Hey, Cloud, about the Mako treatments," Zack added. "Don't worry about it. The pain is only temporary, and like I said – it's worth some temporary discomfort so long as it gets you into SOLDIER. Besides," he continued, as they left the cafeteria. "Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?"

"I suppose so," Cloud replied, with a small grin. _SOLDIER_ , Cloud mused, a thoughtful look on his face as he and Zack returned their lunch trays. _I hope I can do that, someday. I want to be like Zack._ His face fell a bit as he thought of the two other SOLDIERS he'd looked up to - Genesis and Angeal. _Hopefully there's some sort of reasonable explanation for their disappearance_ , the cadet thought. _I know that's what Zack is hoping for too._

As they headed back across the quad, Zack felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. "Shit," he muttered, reaching for the device. "Hold up, Cloud, I've gotta take this," Zack said. "It's the general," he noted from the call display.

Zack turned to Cloud with an apologetic expression on his face. "You can probably guess what that was about. The debriefing. I've gotta go, babe," Zack murmured sadly, his hand stroking Cloud's face. "I'm sorry. Sephiroth wants me there ASAP. I'll let you know if I find out anything more, about when I'll be shipped out."

"Okay," Cloud murmured, standing slightly on tiptoe to give Zack a quick kiss on the lips, before they parted. "I have some studying to do anyways...I'll talk to you later?"

"Of course," Zack returned with a smile, and another quick kiss. "See you."

"Good luck..." Zack waved at him before trotting off in the opposite direction, back toward the Shinra Building.

* * *

"Good luck?" Cloud repeated, once Zack was out of earshot. "What a stupid thing to say," he chastised himself. Sighing, muttering to himself over his perceived stupidity, Cloud shoved his hands in his pockets and walked quickly, head down, heading back toward his room to fetch his books. He looked up rather suddenly as he nearly collided with a large, wooden flower cart. A young woman, apparently tending the cart, glanced at him with some amusement.

"Hey there!" she called softly, a glint of mischief in her green eyes. "Are you okay?" She came around the front of the cart to take a look at Cloud, and smiled kindly at him.

"I'm fine," Cloud muttered, embarrassed. "Oh no, I knocked over some of your flowers!" he groaned, stooping down to pick them up at the same time the girl did likewise. Their foreheads collided as they both reached down to grab the same flower.

"Ow!" Cloud yelped, laughing in spite of himself. "I'm so sorry, miss," he apologized to the girl, offering her a hand to help her up. "I'm really sorry about that."

"It's fine!" she replied, smiling easily. "Things happen. Please, don't worry about it, it was an accident."

"At least let me pay you for the flowers I damaged," Cloud offered, taking out his wallet.

The girl stubbornly shook her head. "No, please," she insisted. "I don't want you doing that, it's fine. I grow them myself - and they are very little trouble to raise if you have the right touch."

"All the more reason I should pay you for them," Cloud argued. "Because, you put _some_ kind of work into them, I can tell. They're very beautiful."

"Would you like one?" she offered, reaching for a smaller stemmed yellow flower. "Maybe you have someone special who would like a pretty flower. But I will only take your money, if you buy a flower that is _not_ broken," she warned with a grin.

Cloud chuckled. "I will gladly buy a flower," he told the flower girl, handing her several one-gil notes, "but I'm afraid my someone special just left."

"Oh no!" the girl replied sympathetically. "Breakup?" she asked timidly.

"Oh no, no...nothing like that," Cloud replied, shaking his head. "He just had a meeting. But I think he might be sent on a mission soon."

"You must be dating a SOLDIER," the girl replied. "I used to date one myself. He was my first boyfriend."

"Really? Wonder if it's anyone I know? I'm a cadet right now, but I hope to be in SOLDIER someday. My name's Cloud, by the way," he said, introducing himself, extending a hand.

"Nice to crash into you, Cloud," the girl replied, giggling as she shook his hand. "My name is Aerith."

"What?" Cloud practically choked. "You - you're - you said your name was...Aerith?" he stammered.

Aerith stared at Cloud, perplexed. "Yes...that's my name. Aerith Gainsborough. I don't come up this way often," she explained, smiling. "I'm from Sector Five. A friend…helped me build this flower cart, so I could try to sell flowers in different sectors."

"Oh," Cloud said nodding, paling slightly. _So, this was Aerith. The Aerith. Zack's ex-girlfriend._

_Well, this is awkward,_ Cloud thought sourly. Aerith seemed sweet as anything, which made Cloud feel even worse, for some reason _. I have no idea why they even broke up_ , Cloud mused, suddenly curious. _Or…just how serious they were, either. It's none of my business, I suppose._

Yet, Cloud was curious. Part of him wanted to bolt, while part of him wanted to stick around and talk some more with Aerith. She was very pretty and very sweet…Cloud could see why Zack was taken with her.

_He said…that Aerith had been the more serious one, in their relationship. Gods, I wish I could ask Zack -_ Cloud paused in his thoughts, smirking _. Yeah. That'd be cozy, if Zack was right here, right now, witnessing this . What, would you ask him all kinds of personal questions in front of his ex-girlfriend?_

"Clouud," Aerith called to him in a singsong voice. "Where'd you go off to? You were staring at the sky, like you were lost in thought…"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Aerith," Cloud apologized, embarrassed. "I'm just…very distracted today."

"Obviously," Aerith teased. "You plowed right into me."

"I'm so sorry about that!" Cloud murmured, blushing. "Here…I'll take a flower. How much are they?"

"One gil each, or you can buy three for two gil!" Aerith said brightly.

"Okay, I'll take three of them," Cloud said, handing over a five gil note with a smile. "You do drive a hard bargain, Aerith," he commented with a grin.

"I've been told I'm a savvy businesswoman," Aerith said, snickering. She took the money from Cloud, and smiled, handing three flowers over to him, wrapped in a bit of tissue paper. "Here you are, Cloud. It's been a pleasure doing business with you!"

"Thanks," Cloud replied, smiling as he took the flowers from Aerith. "Sorry about before. I've gotta go, but...see you around," he said with a wave, as he turned to leave.

"Bye!" Aerith called after him. "Oh hey - wait a second!" Cloud turned back, eyebrow raised quizzically.

"Yeah?" he said, wondering what Aerith wanted.

"If you know a SOLDIER named Zack, tell him I said hi!" Aerith said cheerfully, waving at him. "Nice meeting you, Cloud!" Cloud blinked slightly at the mention of Zack's name - there was definitely no question now that this was Zack's ex he was talking with.

"I will," Cloud replied, staring at the small bouquet in his hand. "Bye, Aerith!"

Cloud turned from the flower girl, smiling to himself as he stared at the small bouquet of flowers in his hand. _She seemed really sweet_ , Cloud thought. Even though he'd felt awkward the entire time - once she revealed her name - Cloud couldn't help but like her. Lost in his thoughts, Cloud barely seemed to realize that he'd wandered away from the quad, and was heading further into Sector Eight.

" Shit," Cloud muttered to himself, realizing he was suddenly standing in an alleyway, the shadows of several tall buildings looming above him. "Took a wrong turn..." Cloud spun on his heel, and then heard some mocking voices nearby.

_~Yeah, that's him. Spikey-headed fucker.~_

_~Get him, boys.~_

Cloud clutched the tender flower stems in his fist, bruising them slightly. He turned, and glared at the trio of young men standing off to the side, slinking out of the shadows.

"Nice flowers," the nearest one called to Cloud, jeering. He had a face like a rat, Cloud thought, briefly amused by the notion. "Fucking sissy boy with his flowers. Those for your boyfriend, asshole?"

"Yeah," the tallest one said, stepping forward. "My brother told me about you. Sucking dick to try and get yourself into SOLDIER, eh?"

_Brother?_ Cloud pondered, and then horrified recognition set in. The tall one in front of him looked like a thinner, almost elongated version of Fredo, black beady eyes and all. His eyes appeared more narrowed and tipped slightly, like a ferret or a weasel. _Fredo's brother. Shit. Just my luck, to take a wrong turn and run into him._

_Ignore them_ , Cloud told himself. _Just walk away, and go back, don't even look at them._ He quickly turned, intending to do just that, when a hand fell on his shoulder, jerking him back.

"Where d'ya think you're going, hot shot?" came a taunting voice from behind Cloud. "No, you ain't going anywhere. We've got a score to settle with you, pally." He jerked Cloud backwards; the flowers fell out of his hand, to the ground. Cloud shoved the intrusive hand off of his shoulder, and turned around, snarling.

"What score?" Cloud snapped, eyes blazing with fury. He felt a bit of fear, but more than anything, Cloud was angry. Hadn't this gone on long enough? And he hadn't even done anything _wrong_ , it had been Fredo who started the whole thing; he'd gotten himself expelled by his actions.

"I don't even know any of you," Cloud continued, holding his ground, but also wanting to just turn and bolt. _But I'm tired of running. I'm tired of the nightmares. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder. This has to end...now._

"Oh, but we know all about _you_ ," Rat-face taunted him. He shoved Cloud in the shoulder, shoving him back against a brick wall. Cloud was cornered now, with three grudge-bearing men advancing toward him.

_Shit, I wish I had a sword!_ He thought frantically. _I have nothing, no weapon at all..._ He glanced down at the discarded junk around his feet, littering the alley; perhaps there was something here that could be used as a weapon. A lead pipe would be nice, Cloud thought, panicking when he didn't see anything fitting the bill.

Cloud glanced up just in time to see a left hook coming at his face, knocking him back as it connected. "Fuck!" Cloud yelped, rubbing his jawbone. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at his opponents. _I don't know if I can take them_ , he worried. _I'm better with a sword than my fists..._

The dim streetlight glinted off of something metallic near Cloud's feet, catching his eye. It was a rusted old sign, crafted of sheet metal and shaped like an arrow, indicating "this way to bar." _It'll have to do_ , Cloud thought grimly, quickly reaching down for it. He grabbed the edge, carefully holding it so as not to cut his hands. Cloud wrapped the end of his sleeve around his hand, in an effort to protect it somewhat, from the sharp metal.

"You gonna beat me over the head with that, or something?" Fredo's brother taunted, sneering. "Like to see you try."

"No," Cloud retorted, lunging forward as he brandished the arrow-shaped piece of metal in front of him. He felt the heat rising in his face as his anger swelled. "I'm going to stab you with it." Quick as anything, Cloud slashed at Rat-face's arm, as he was closest. The flesh was laid open, and Rat-face howled in pain.

"Crazy fucker!" he yelped, looking helplessly to his companions. "Do something, Aryl!" Rat-face shouted toward Fredo's brother.

"Aryl, huh?" Cloud repeated, sneering. "Thanks for tipping me off, there. Now I'll know what name to put down when I file the incident report."

"You won't live long enough for that, asshole," Aryl snarled, flipping open a pocket knife, dragging it across Cloud's knuckles in an attempt to get him to drop the sign. Cloud hissed from the pain, but held on tightly to the sign.

"The hell you say," Cloud snapped, jabbing the point of the sign into Aryl's chest. He felt himself become lighter as he flew off of his feet in a jump, and came back down hard, burying the edge of the sign in the area between Aryl's neck and shoulder.

"Fuck!" Aryl screamed in pain. Cloud had severed the muscle above Aryl's shoulder, and the arm hung loosely now, in a sickening fashion. "Let's get the fuck out of here," he muttered to his companions, quickly backing away from Cloud.

The metal sign hit the ground with a clatter, as it fell out of Cloud's hands. _What...what just happened?_ he wondered, panting, as he came to himself. _I got so angry...angrier than I'd ever been in my life...and then I just felt this strength that I know I didn't have just yesterday._ Cloud looked down at his hand, still clutching the end of his sleeve. There was a bit of blood from where the sharp-edged metal had dug into the flesh, but it would have been far worse if Cloud hadn't wrapped the fabric from his shirt sleeve around his hand.

Still feeling a bit dazed, Cloud turned and stumbled out of the alleyway, back into the brighter light of the street, and headed back toward the quad, wanting nothing more than to lay down in his bed.

* * *

Zack arrived to Lazard's office minutes after getting the call from Sephiroth. As he arrived, so did the Turks: Tseng, Rude, and Reno. The Turks nodded briefly at Zack, acknowledging his presence, before entering Lazard's office.

"Good, you're all here," Sephiroth murmured coolly, shifting his gaze to each of the Turks, then Zack. "We're going to move quickly on this. Zack, you and Tseng are going to Banora, follow some leads we have on Angeal and Genesis. We have reason to believe they've returned to their hometown."

Zack nodded. "That makes sense, I guess." He glanced over at Tseng, then back to Sephiroth. "When do we leave, sir?"

"Tomorrow morning," Sephiroth replied. "I realize, of course, that this is a quick turnaround for you, Zack, since you only just got back from Wutai. Get some rest tonight; and, I've reassigned Sergeant Flanard to take over some of your classes."

"Okay then," Zack said, folding his arms across his chest, nodding. He felt a pang of disappointment; Cloud's birthday was that Friday, and chances were pretty good that Zack would be missing it. _Damn it_ , Zack thought, frowning. _I wish I wasn't missing his birthday...I'll have to try and arrange something to surprise him, before I leave. "_ Not much time, then," he murmured.

"No, there's not," Lazard agreed, overhearing Zack's comment. "But I won't keep you all here much longer. Just going to go over the latest intel that the Turks have obtained, so I'll turn this over to Tseng." The Turk commander nodded, and stepped forward, addressing the group.

"Right," Tseng began, rubbing his forehead with his index finger. The man looked overworked, stressed, Zack noted. _Hell, I guess we're all under a bit of stress now, since Genesis and Angeal..._

Zack's thought went unfinished, as Tseng continued. "As Sephiroth mentioned, Banora is our next area of focus," he said. "Genesis was spotted there earlier today by some locals who were questioned by our scouts, and we have reason to believe Angeal is not far behind. Gillian Hewley - Angeal's mother - still resides in Banora. We do not know if Angeal intends harm toward his mother - "

"Angeal would never!" Zack protested, cutting off Tseng. The interruption earned him a raised eyebrow from Tseng, and a glare from Sephiroth. "Enough, Zack," Sephiroth barked. "If you can't be objective on this mission, I will find someone who _can_ , and you can kiss your first class rank good-bye." Apparently, Sephiroth meant business.

"That's not going to be a problem, sir," Zack said firmly, staring the general in the eye. "I will complete my mission as instructed. Of course, I simply hope there is a reasonable explanation for everything."

"As do I," Sephiroth murmured wearily. "You have to realize though, Zack, we are well past the point where that is a likely possibility."

Zack nodded sadly. "I know. I know that."

"You're all dismissed," Lazard told the group. "Zack, you will meet Tseng tomorrow at the helipad, at oh-eight-hundred hours."

Zack saluted, and then took his leave of everyone, waving. He went into the hallway, and immediately took out his cell phone, punching in Cloud's number. It rang, and rang, with no answer. Huh, Zack thought. That's odd. I thought he said he was going to go study...maybe he turned the ringer off. Thinking nothing more of it, Zack shoved the phone back in his pocket, and headed back toward his quarters. He knew he needed to pack some things - again - and get some rest. But most importantly, he wanted to say goodbye to Cloud, before heading off to Banora.

* * *

Cloud made a quick stop to the infirmary to get the knife wound to his knuckles cleaned and bandaged. The nurse there admonished him to keep it clean, and to return if there was any sign of infection. He then returned to his dorm room in a daze, barely feeling his body hit the bed as he fell. His mind raced, yet he felt physically fatigued, as though he'd run a great distance very quickly. Yet, he hadn't; he'd walked back from Sector Eight at a normal pace.

_I didn't look over my shoulder_ , he remembered, as he closed his eyes, trying to relax his body. _The first time in a long time…where I didn't feel the constant need to watch my back._ He felt relief, yet Cloud could not quiet his mind.

_What happened to me? How was I able to attack Aryl like that, with a little bit of metal?_ Cloud puzzled over this as his eyes grew heavy, and he settled into a semi-conscious state, not quite falling asleep, yet not quite awake, either.

Several hours went by, and Zack hadn't heard back from Cloud, still assuming he was studying as he's planned. He'd left him a voice mail and a text on his cell phone, and grew a bit worried when he ran into Dill and Zane in passing; when asked, they informed Zack that they hadn't seen Cloud all afternoon.

"Haven't checked his room yet," Zack muttered to himself, as he relaxed on his futon. "Which is pretty stupid, that should have been the first place I looked." He decided to head there next, and locked up his apartment, trotting across the quad toward Cloud's building.

Zack rapped softly on the door; he noticed a sliver of light shone underneath. _He must be in there, lights are on._ The SOLDIER began knocking a bit harder. "Cloud?" he called quietly. Zack was relieved to hear a shuffling sound, and then the click of the lock as Cloud opened the door.

"Did I wake you from a nap, Cloud?" Zack began, grinning. The smile faded from his face as he saw the hollows underneath Cloud's eyes; then, his eyes traveled to Cloud's hand, bound with cloth and gauze.

"Hi Zack," Cloud said dully, attempting a grin. "I was…just trying to rest a little. Wasn't really sleeping though, I can't relax."

"What the hell happened to your hand?" Zack demanded, entering Cloud's room. "Cloud, let me see it. " He followed Cloud over to his bed, where the cadet sank down onto the mattress, sighing with exhaustion, as Zack gingerly removed the bandage from his hand, to inspect the wound.

"Had a run-in," Cloud admitted reluctantly. As Zack looked at him quizzically, Cloud grumbled. "With Fredo's brother."

"Fredo's _brother_?" Zack exclaimed angrily. "Fucking bastard! Was he following you? How did he find you? Babe, your hand - it looks like it's getting infected, you need to go to the infirmary," he declared as he re-wrapped the cloth around Cloud's hand.

"I've already had it looked at, but if it gets worse, I'll go back to the nurse, I promise," Cloud said. "I'm so glad you're here, Zack," he murmured, leaning into the SOLDIER's chest. Zack brought an arm up around Cloud's shoulders, cradling him.

"Me too," Zack said softly. "Now…you gonna tell me how this happened, Cloud?" He gently kissed the cadet, who nodded silently.

"I just…want to lie down a bit, okay?" Cloud murmured, shifting himself. "I'm not tired, really, I just feel...weird, still."

"Here, I'll stay with you," Zack offered. "Just lay your head in my lap, try to relax." Cloud nodded and turned, laying on his back, head cradled in Zack's lap. He stared up at Zack with a weak smile.

"Now...tell me what happened, Cloud," Zack said softly, gently stroking the blond spikes of Cloud's hair. He felt Cloud's body stiffen slightly, and then relax.

"Well...I guess I got lost in my thoughts or something, and I took a wrong turn," Cloud began, closing his eyes briefly. He opened them again, to see Zack's concerned face hovering over his own. "I ended up in Sector 8 - I suppose I was daydreaming, when I had intended on studying."

Zack chuckled softly. "Well, I can't say as I haven't done the same thing, Cloud. So Sector Eight, is that where you ran into Fredo's brother?"

"Yeah," Cloud said dully. "His name...is Aryl. And he's an asshole, just like his brother, but taller." He snorted derisively. "So...as I said, I took a wrong turn down an alley, and had the bad luck to run into Aryl and two of his friends."

"Damn it," Zack muttered. "We should file a report, you know. This shit with you being harassed has _got_ to end," he said firmly.

"Funny," Cloud said, an odd look on his face, "I really don't think that'll be a problem anymore. Something...kind of strange happened."

"Strange?" Zack interrupted, frowning. "Go on."

"Well...I didn't have a sword on me, of course," Cloud explained. "Nor anything else that could pass for a weapon. So I had to...improvise. I found this piece of metal on the ground that had a sharp edge...it was an old sign, or something."

"Yeah," Zack murmured, still stroking Cloud's hair. "Sometimes...you make do with what you have. So, did you get a few hits in?"

"Oh, I did," Cloud said, smiling slightly. "Well, one big hit - I sliced his shoulder muscle in half. With a little piece of metal...I'm still not sure how that happened."

"Wow," Zack said, visibly impressed. "How'd you manage that, Cloud? That's something you could surely do with a sword, but a thin piece of metal like that?"

"I felt weird, Zack," Cloud told him. "When it happened, when Aryl was taunting me...and threatening me...I was so, so angry. Angrier than I'd ever been before in my life. My face felt hot...and then I felt light, all of a sudden. I kind of...leapt in the air, and brought the metal down, into his shoulder. It seemed so bright around me, too..."

"Damn, Cloud," Zack blurted, grinning widely. "You know what that means? You've discovered your limit break, my friend."

"Limit break?" Cloud repeated, frowning. "I've heard of them, but I've never experienced that before. It was...weird."

"Your limit gauge must have built up when they first confronted you...then your limit gauge got so full, it triggered your limit break," Zack explained.

"I was pretty angry," Cloud admitted, smirking. "Huh. So...is there any way to like...control that? Because when I was attacking Aryl, it felt...like I wasn't in complete control. I mean, I was...and I wasn't. I knew what I wanted to attack him with, and where I wanted to hit him, but the force of the hits...it was like someone else was directing me."

"That's the limit break for you," Zack said, nodding. "Generally, you do have some control, like you said. I've heard of some limit breaks though, where the person has zero input as to what happens," he continued, musing. "Though I've never witnessed it myself."

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Zack said quietly, pulling Cloud up out of his lap. "I'm glad you found your limit break, Cloud," he whispered, kissing the cadet softly. "It'll unlock a whole new way of fighting for you now."

"Yeah, I'm fine," Cloud replied, smiling. "It just surprised me, is all. I never knew I had it in me, I guess."

"You do," Zack agreed, nodding.

"Oh! I...ran into someone," Cloud said suddenly. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten the flower girl, having been caught up in telling Zack about the bullies, and discovering his own limit break. "Someone you know. She said if I knew a soldier named Zack, to say hello. And you're the only Zack I know, " he added.

"Oh really? Who was it?" Zack asked curiously.

"Aerith...your girlfriend, wasn't that her name?" Cloud asked. "I ran into her – well, right before I got jumped. I bought a flower from her," he added stupidly.

"No kidding?" Zack sat up slightly, surprised. "How is Aerith doing, anyway? I've been meaning to visit her, see how the flower biz is going."

"She seems to be doing well, I guess," Cloud replied. "The flower - it got lost in the scuffle."

"That's a shame. I should check up on Aerith sometime...I miss talking to her. By the way," Zack murmured quietly. "There's something I forgot to tell you - I'm shipping out to Banora."

"Shit," Cloud muttered, frowning. "Well...it's not a huge surprise, but still. When are you going?"

"First thing tomorrow," Zack told him miserably. "Duty calls, Spikes. As I'm sure you know, but the timing couldn't be worse."

"Timing for what?" Cloud echoed dumbly, blinking tiredly at Zack.

"For your birthday?" Zack reminded him, smiling. "It's Friday, right? Well, there's no way of knowing if I'll be back in time for it, Cloud. And I'm kind of bummed about that."

"It's all right, Zack," Cloud muttered. "Really, it's just another day. It doesn't matter."

"It does _so_ matter!" Zack argued. "Plus...I've got a big surprise for you. And I'm not telling you what it is."

At this, Cloud bolted up, sitting upright on his bed. "Come on!" he protested. "That's not fair. You know I'm not good with surprises."

"I know that," Zack said, chuckling. "Which is why this is going to be _so_ much fun to hold over your head."

"Not fair," Cloud muttered, pouting. He folded his arms over his chest, and flopped back down on the bed dramatically.

"Oh, come on, little chocobo," Zack teased, moving himself over Cloud. He took the cadet in his arms, and began planting soft kisses along his collarbone. "Don't be like that, Cloud," Zack whispered, running his tongue around in the hollow of Cloud's neck.

"Like...what?" Cloud stammered, bringing his arms around Zack's shoulders. He felt his breathing quicken as Zack nibbled on his neck.

"All stubborn and pouty the way you are," Zack murmured, grinning. "Then again," he continued, chuckling, "maybe I shouldn't discourage you from pouting. It's pretty cute. Hmm," Zack hummed, brushing his lips against Cloud's in a kiss that began as soft and yielding, and then became more passionate as their tongues fought against each other. "Your hand okay, Cloud?" Zack asked quietly, breaking the kiss briefly.

"It's fine," Cloud confirmed, nodding. "Don't worry about it, Zack..." Cloud's voice trailed off as he ghosted his good hand over Zack's backside.

"I guess you _are_ feeling okay - oh gods,," Zack moaned as the cadet ground his pelvis up into Zack's. "Fuck, that feels good." Cloud was making mewling little whimpering noises that were driving Zack insane, as the SOLDIER's strong hands roamed up and down the cadet's body.

"Do...you want to?" Zack asked hoarsely, easing his hand inside the front of Cloud's pants. He smiled as Cloud gasped, and stroked the cadet lazily up and down rhythmically.

"Y-yes," Cloud stammered, his lips parting slightly as his breathing quickened.

"It'll be a challenge to do anything in this tiny bed, though," Zack murmured, shifting his weight on top of Cloud. The cadet got a sudden, mischievous look about him, and got up from the bed, pulling pillows, blankets, and the comforter along with him, down to the floor.

"Then let's do it on the floor," Cloud said with a grin, spreading a blanket down on the carpeted floor, along with a couple of pillows.

Zack laughed, and scooted off of the bed, joining Cloud on the floor. Cloud pulled Zack on top of him again, and the two were soon entwined in a passionate embrace, hands fumbling clumsily and hastily as they tried to undress each other.

"I hate your uniform," Cloud muttered, as he struggled with Zack's shoulder armor one-handed.

"Hey!" Zack protested mildly. "Don't be knocking the SOLDIER uniform, now. You'll be wearing this someday!"

"Well, I don't really _hate_ it," Cloud said teasingly, smirking. "But I prefer to see you _out_ of it." Cloud teased.

"Oh…when you put it like that, Cloud," Zack murmured, easing himself out of his shirt and pants, "I guess it's time to get naked." He kissed Cloud again, hard, and ground his pelvis down against the cadet's, eliciting a pleasured moan. Sword-calloused hands ghosted along Cloud's lean torso, and made quick work of his clothing, Zack taking care not to disturb Cloud's injured hand.

"You sure you're not too sore, Cloud?" Zack asked gently, stroking the cadet's face.

"I am a little sore," Cloud admitted reluctantly. "I just...damn it, I'm just horny, Zack!" he cried, frustrated. Zack laughed at Cloud's expression, which was bordering on pouty once again.

"Then," Zack said decisively, "maybe you should be on top." He grinned at the look of surprise on Cloud's face.

"Me?" Cloud balked, his eyes wide with trepidation. "Zack, I don't know if I can do that - I've never...done it before!" he protested.

"It's just a thought, Cloud...no pressure. But if you're still, uh...sore...it could be an alternative, you know."

Cloud was certain that if they weren't already sprawled on the floor, that he would have fallen out the bed onto it, so surprised was he by Zack's suggestion.

"You...you would let me do that to you?" Cloud asked hesitantly, his eyes doubtful. Zack nodded and smiled, turning on his side. He drew Cloud into his chest, kissing him deeply.

"Of course I would, Cloud," Zack murmured. "Only if you want to, though."

"I don't know what I'm doing..but I do want to," Cloud argued. "Just...tell me if it feels okay?"

"Of course," Zack whispered, grabbing Cloud's length in his hand again, stroking it slowly. "Don't ever doubt yourself, Cloud...especially your ability to make me feel good."

"I guess we can try it," Cloud said dubiously. He slid back under the makeshift bedding on the floor, draping the blanket back over himself and Zack to keep the draft out, though things were quickly heating up.

"You look so worried, Cloud," Zack commented, as he gazed with amusement at the cadet, blond brows furrowed with concentration. "Don't be. It'll be fine."

"Cloud...," Zack rasped. He couldn't speak another word.

"Zack..." Cloud groaned, as he felt himself peak in a warm, heated, liquid rush. Zack grasped his erection again, and began rapidly stroking himself to orgasm, arching his back as he did so. He felt the pillow slip from behind his head, which made contact with the hard floor, but he didn't care. Moments later he came through clenched fingers, looking up through half-lidded eyes at Cloud, who was still above him, straddling his hips. Zack could still feel Cloud inside of him, and bucked his hips upward, in an almost involuntary response.

"That," Zack declared, as Cloud gingerly pulled out of him, wincing, "was pretty phenomenal. You know I'm crazy about you."

"Me too," Cloud murmured, kissing the SOLDIER beneath him.

"We probably should hit the showers," Zack said quietly. Cloud cringed at the suggestion; in his dorm, as in most of the dorms, showers were shared by the entire floor.

"What are you thinking about, Cloud?" Zack asked softly, laying on his back. He cradled an arm around an exhausted and sweaty Cloud, hugging him into his shoulder.

"Nothing," Cloud lied, sighing as he laid his head on Zack's chest. "I just wish you didn't have to go so soon," Cloud mumbled sadly. "I know you have to..."

"I know, Cloud," Zack replied, tightening his embrace around the cadet's shoulders. "But hopefully we'll get some answers, right? About what happened to Genesis and Angeal."

"Sorry," Cloud apologized sheepishly. "I'm being selfish. Of course, you need to find out what happened. But what if it's something bad?"

"I don't want to think like that," Zack said firmly. He sighed, relenting slightly. "But...like Sephiroth said, the more time that passes by, the less of a possibility is - there being a reasonable explanation for everything."

"I wonder what really happened," Cloud said. "It doesn't sound like Angeal to just take off, does it?"

"It doesn't," Zack agreed. "And that's why I'm so worried." He kissed the feathery blond spikes of Cloud's hair, and smiled. "Thanks for listening, Cloud. I'm so glad we have each other, at least. It feels like the world's starting to go crazy or something, and we're the only sane ones left."

Cloud stared up at Zack, concerned over the SOLDIER's sudden shift in mood. "That sounds awfully bleak, Zack," Cloud replied, hugging him. "Why do you say that?"

Zack shook his head, shrugging. "I don't really know," he answered. "You know me, I always try to look at the bright side. But lately…it's just a feeling, I guess. I hope I'm wrong, though." He exhaled, and sat up slightly, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I'm going to grab a shower down the hall," Zack told Cloud. "Then I've gotta head back and get some sleep..." Cloud nodded, though he felt his heart fall a bit, knowing he wouldn't see Zack in the morning, and after that, he'd just be gone on his mission.

"Stay?" Cloud whispered pleadingly. Zack smiled. "I'd love to, but there's no room for me to sleep, really. Sorry."

"I understand," Cloud replied, failing to keep the disappointment out of his voice. "It's okay."

"Come with me, then," Zack said, grinning. "Stay with me tonight. Because I'd like to say good-bye to you again in the morning, right before I leave."

Cloud grinned widely, and began looking for a change of clothing. "Okay. You talked me into it," he said, chuckling. "Let me just grab a few things...and I guess we could just shower at your place?"

"Yeah!" Zack said agreeably, nodding. "We can do that."

_I just can't shake the feeling_ , Zack thought, watching Cloud bustle about his room to pack a quick overnight bag, that _something bad is on the horizon. Gotta stay positive as always, but I really do have a bad feeling about this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This one took a bit longer to write; I had some stuff going on recently which meant less time for writing. I am hoping I get one more chapter posted this month; come November, I will be participating in NaNoWriMo again, which means I won't be updating this fic for a while.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, please review if you are so inclined. Next chapter will obviously entail Zack and Tseng's mission to Banora, so it's not going to be a lighthearted chapter. Thought I would give Zack and Cloud some nice time together in this chapter, since they'll be separated again very soon.
> 
> **UPDATED the chapter on 6/20/14**


	9. Apocalypse Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack leaves for his mission to Banora, which turns his world upside down. Cloud receives some disturbing news while Zack is away.

_It's time we saw a miracle_   
_Come on it's time for something biblical_   
_To pull us through_   
_And pull us through_   
_And this is the end_   
_This is the end of the world_

**Apocalypse Please - Muse**

* * *

Cloud locked up his dorm room after packing a small overnight bag, and walked back with Zack toward his quarters. He was wavering between excitement over spending the night at Zack's place again, and feeling absolutely forlorn over their pending separation, when Zack left for his mission in the morning. He sighed loudly as he hoisted his bag over his shoulder, causing Zack to shoot a curious glance at him.

"You okay, Cloud?" Zack asked softly. He knew what the sigh was for though, and the feeling behind it; as anxious as Zack was to get started on his mission, hoping like hell to find Angeal and Genesis, leaving Cloud behind was the worst part of it. He hoped it wouldn't be for very long, but as he'd told Cloud earlier, there was a very good chance he'd be missing the cadet's birthday that Friday.

"I'm fine," Cloud replied quietly, giving Zack a shy smile. "Just...tired," he said, yawning as he spoke, then he grinned again.

Zack smiled at Cloud, throwing an arm around him. "Yeah, me too. Guess you wore me out, babe," he said teasingly. "Twice in one day!" he crowed, chuckling.

Cloud blushed darkly; a group of cadets was passing by them in, going in the opposite direction, and he was _sure_ they must have heard Zack. "Yeah, well," Cloud said in a low tone. "Maybe I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget me while you're gone."

"Could never happen," Zack said firmly. They'd reached Zack's quarters, and the SOLDIER removed his arm from around Cloud while he unlocked the door, holding it open for him.

Zack yawned, then went straight to the kitchen and began rummaging through a drawer where he kept all of his take-out menus. "Want to just kick back and order a pizza? I'm so tired, I might just have it delivered, too," he added, smiling.

"Sounds perfect," Cloud replied, flopping himself onto the sofa in the living room. He groaned, stretching his limbs. "Early day tomorrow," he murmured, closing his eyes briefly.

"Yeah, I know," Zack replied wearily, taking a seat next to Cloud, pizza menu and cell phone in hand. "Back to the Monday grind tomorrow."

Cloud opened his eyes and gazed at Zack, knitting his brows together. "I know I said it before, but I really hope you find them, Zack."

"I do too," Zack said, smiling sadly. "Or at least...some answers. Even if I don't like them, it'll be better than not knowing at all what happened." _At least...I hope so._

"So," Zack continued, scanning the menu. "What do ya want on our pizza, Cloud? I'm in the mood for combo, I think."

"That's fine," Cloud answered, tucking his feet underneath himself as he snuggled up next to Zack. "Seriously, if you gave me a piece of cardboard covered with pepperoni and cheese, I'd probably eat it right now."

Zack laughed as he began dialing. "I love you, Cloud," he murmured, still laughing, as he placed the pizza order.

Cloud grinned and leaned into Zack's side, savoring his warmth. He made a noise that very much sounded like a cat purring contentedly.

"Pizza will be here in twenty-five minutes," Zack said quietly, pulling a throw blanket around himself and Cloud. "I don't think I'll even want to move when it gets here, though," he remarked, chuckling. "How's that for lazy?"

"Mmm," was the only reply Zack heard, as Cloud began lightly snoring, dozing off to sleep. Zack smiled, hugging Cloud into his side, feeling perfectly content, as if all was right with the world. Except for the nagging thoughts at the back of his mind, thoughts he was trying to push away.

_All is **not** right with the world though, is it_ , Zack told himself firmly. _But I don't want to think about that until tomorrow, not until I have to. I need to enjoy this time with Cloud, before I go to Banora._ Zack would never admit it out loud, but it had crossed his mind before he was sent out to Wutai, and he was thinking about it now, the night before he'd be shipping out to Banora: _what if something happens, and I don't make it back? What if…this is the last time I ever see Cloud?_

Sighing as worries about Angeal and Genesis crept into his thoughts, Zack unconsciously tightened his arm around Cloud, slightly rousing the sleeping cadet. "Hmm?" Cloud murmured sleepily.

"Shh, nothing," Zack whispered. "Go back to sleep." Zack leaned back on the couch with Cloud cradled against his chest as he shut his eyes briefly, trying to quiet his thoughts. Soon he became drowsy, but the nap that was threatening to overtake him was interrupted by a knocking on the door. Zack groaned audibly, and gently dislodged Cloud from his lap.

"Sorry babe, pizza dude's here," he explained apologetically, as Cloud's eyes fluttered open and he awoke. "I gotta get the door."

"Oh," Cloud mumbled, yawning and stretching. "Okay." He groaned, stretching his arms over his head as he sat up, while Zack went to the door to get the pizza. His extremities, his fingertips especially, still felt slightly tingly, as they'd been earlier when his limit break had started. Cloud began to wonder if he would always feel this 'off' following a limit break. He decided to ask Zack about that, after they ate their pizza.

The cadet padded out into the kitchen, where Zack had already set two plates out on the dinette. "Hungry, sleepyhead?" Zack said teasingly. Cloud nodded, smiling. Zack grabbed two slices out of the pizza box, and set them on his plate, and Cloud followed suit.

"Smells good," Cloud remarked, taking a large bite of the pizza.

"Mmm," Zack murmured around a mouthful. "Delicious. You know," the SOLDIER said, chewing thoughtfully. "I really think I could live on pizza. I mean, I love it so much, I believe I could eat it every single day!"

Cloud chuckled. "You'd get sick of it eventually, Zack," he replied, grinning. "Too much of a good thing, and all that."

"Well," Zack reasoned, staring at Cloud, " _you're_ a good thing, and I can never have too much of you." Cloud blushed and focused on eating his pizza.

"Zack," Cloud murmured after swallowing his food, "you are such a sap. But...I love you for it."

"Good," Zack replied, punctuating that with a loud belch. "Well, that was romantic too, wasn't it," he commented, chuckling. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, as they finished their pizza slices.

"That was good," Zack remarked, after his fourth slice. "And, we have some leftover for breakfast!"

"Pizza for breakfast?" Cloud echoed, shuddering. "That sounds...awful."

"You kidding, Cloud?" Zack replied, cocking an eyebrow in surprise. "Cold pizza for breakfast is one of the mainstays of men our age. That, and shitty beer."

"But I'm not your age," Cloud reminded Zack, smiling. "Not exactly."

"Only a few years apart," Zack insisted, clearing the plates from the table. "And on Friday, you're a legal adult, so there."

"Yeah, I suppose I will be," Cloud said thoughtfully. He began thinking of his birthday last year, which of course had been spent at home, in Nibelheim, with his mother. A pang of homesickness hit Cloud all of a sudden; while he had no real love for small-minded Nibelheim and the kids there who were cruel to him growing up, Cloud _did_ miss his mother.

"Hey, Zack?" Cloud began. "Do they ever run missions to Nibelheim? If they ever do...I'd like to volunteer for one."

"Sure, every so often, we'll send a small group of SOLDIERs out there, check on the Mako reactor, that sort of thing," Zack replied. He regarded Cloud curiously. "What brought that on?"

"Nothing, really," Cloud replied, blushing. "Just...I miss my mom. And if we ever went on a mission together, Zack...I'd love for her to meet you. I know she would _love_ you," he added, grinning at Zack.

"Aw, that's sweet," Zack replied, smiling. He followed Cloud out toward the living room, where they plopped themselves on the couch, feeling tired and full of food.

"I'd love to meet your mom," Zack replied. "And who knows what the future may bring, we might end up on a mission to Nibelheim like that, together. Or even to my hometown, Gongaga. Of course," Zack continued, frowning. "There's a Mako reactor too there, you know, so from time to time, Shinra will send some of us out there to check things out. Usually accompanied by an engineer ."

"You grew up near a reactor too?" Cloud said curiously, his interest suddenly piqued. "Huh. Well, there's one in Mt. Nibel. It kind of ruined the mountain," he said ruefully. "They cut right into the side of it. My mother complained that it wrecked the landscape."

"I remember hiking up there when I was a kid," Cloud explained, as Zack looked at him expectantly. "Of course, I wasn't supposed to be there, my mom told me it was dangerous going up there alone."

"So of course you didn't listen to her," Zack said teasingly. "Did she find out?"

"Nope," Cloud replied, shaking his head and grinning. "She never did. I was a sneaky little kid." Zack laughed along with Cloud, and brushed his lips against the soft blond spikes of his hair.

"Gonna miss you," Zack murmured quietly into the nest of hair. Cloud nodded, and tightened his arms around Zack.

"I know, me too," Cloud replied, sighing. "It's not forever, though, right?"

"Right!" Zack said firmly, nodding emphatically. "I'll always come back to you safe, Cloud. Always."

Cloud smiled and turned his head to kiss Zack, then reluctantly stood up, stretching his arms over his head. "Tired. I think I'm going to get ready for bed."

"Okay," Zack agreed. "I think I will too. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all, though...my mind's racing so much." He ran his fingers through his hair distractedly, sticking it up haphazardly. Cloud might have laughed at the disheveled appearance of Zack's hair, if it hadn't been for the worried expression on Zack's face.

The two men followed each other down the hallway toward the bedroom, quietly. Cloud was by now familiar with Zack's apartment, and it was starting to feel like a second home to him. _And I guess it will be my actual home soon, before you know it_ , Cloud thought happily. While Zack was in the bathroom, Cloud changed into a shirt and sleep pants, and knocked on the door.

"Can I come in, are you done?" he asked timidly. The door swung open, and there stood Zack in his underwear, brushing his teeth. "Come on in," he said around his toothbrush. Cloud swallowed as he stared at Zack's muscled form; he couldn't help but stare, the man was beyond physically fit. He took a moment to gaze at Zack's biceps flexing as he raised a paper cup to his mouth to sip water from it. As he spat into the sink, Zack began laughing.

"You're checking me out," he said accusingly, smiling at Cloud.

The cadet blushed, and grinned. There was no point in lying, when he was being so obvious. "Yeah, so?" Cloud retorted. "I like to look at my boyfriend."

"That's the first time you've called me that, you know," Zack observed, chuckling. "That makes it official."

"I'm moving in with you soon," Cloud reminded him, laughing. "I don't know how much more _official_ we can get than that."

"Well..." Zack began thoughtfully, eyeing Cloud. He'd never given much thought to marriage before, but now...things were different. Zack just knew Cloud was the only one for him, even though their romance and relationship was only days old; still, it gave Zack pause to think.

"Like I said before, Cloud, you never know what the future might hold," Zack quipped, kissing Cloud lightly on the cheek. "Hurry up and come to bed...we'll keep each other warm."

"O-okay," Cloud stammered, not quite sure what Zack had been hinting at before. _Or maybe I do know what he meant, and it just shocked the hell out of me_ , Cloud mused. _That's probably more like it._ He stood over the basin and ran the tap, quickly washing his face, then brushed his teeth. Cloud practically sprinted back toward the bed, where Zack was already half asleep.

"Hey..." Zack murmured, eyes half shut. "C'mere." Cloud got underneath the bedcovers, pulling them tight, and lay on his side in front of Zack so that they spooned each other.

"Good night," Zack whispered, kissing Cloud on the side of the neck.

"Night," Cloud replied sleepily, instantly relaxing as Zack's body heat warmed his back and arms. Soon, the two were asleep, breathing in sync with each other.

* * *

Zack slept through the night, and felt unbelievably well rested the moment his eyes opened the next morning. He smiled in the creeping pre-dawn light, Cloud nestled in his arms as he still spooned behind him. _So glad he stayed the night_ , Zack thought gratefully. _I've never slept so well…_

The alarm clock began to sound, and Zack moved carefully, reaching over Cloud to turn it off. The cadet grumbled and stirred, obviously not wanting to wake up right away. "What time is it?" Cloud asked sleepily.

"Time to wake up," Zack replied, grinning as he kissed Cloud on the forehead. "You _really_ don't like mornings, do you?"

"No," Cloud replied flatly. His sleepy, half-lidded eyes flew open as Zack cruelly flung the blankets off of both of them. "Hey!" he shrieked in protest. "What the hell, Zack, it's fucking cold!"

"Sorry!" Zack said apologetically, quickly gathering the blankets back around himself and Cloud. He really had to get used to the fact that his boyfriend was not ready to bound out of bed and take on the world first thing in the morning, the way _he_ was. Not until after his first or second coffee at _least_ , would Cloud begin to resemble something bordering on human.

"I'm sorry," Zack said more quietly, wrapping his arms around Cloud again to warm him up, kissing his bare shoulder. "Didn't mean to be so...abrupt."

"It's cold," Cloud whined. "I just...hate mornings. And I _really_ hate cold mornings." He shivered again, rubbing his arms to warm them up.

"So I've seen," Zack remarked, smiling. "But you know, you'll have to toughen up...there'll be times when you're out in the field, getting rained on, sleeping in a tent, and you'll be miserable. Hey, wait a minute," Zack said, suddenly seeming to remember something. "Didn't you grow up in Nibelheim?" he asked, grinning. "You should be used to the cold!"

"Yeah, I mean...I'm used to it, sure," Cloud said. "But that doesn't mean I have to _like_ it."

Zack laughed, hugging Cloud into his chest. "Well...now is probably not a good time to bring up the fact that I'll be heading south. Where it's _warm_ ," he added teasingly.

"You're mean," Cloud said, pouting. "Leaving me all alone like this...and now you're just being cruel, rubbing that in."

Zack looked a bit crestfallen at Cloud's words, even though he knew the cadet was just teasing him. "I wish I could stay with you, Cloud," Zack whispered. "It won't be long, I hope, then we'll be together again soon."

"And you can always call me on my birthday, if you're not back by then," Cloud reminded him. "As long as I hear your voice on my birthday, that's all I really need."

"I can do that," Zack replied, nodding. "Actually," he added, grinning. "That gives me a little idea, for something to do on your birthday...if I'm still away..."

"Oooh, what idea is that?" Cloud asked, scooting to sit up in Zack's lap.

"Can't tell you now, Mister I-Hate-Surprises," Zack teased. "Come on, let's get a hot shower to warm you up...then some breakfast, and we'll be ready to go."

"Okay," Cloud said, nodding. "I've got materia handling class today," he groaned. "I don't like that class. I really hope I don't set myself on fire again."

Zack chuckled. "If you only knew how many times I did the same thing, when I took the class, you'd laugh. It'll get better, I promise."

* * *

After breakfast was done, they'd parted reluctantly though not tearfully, and Cloud set off to Materia 101, while Zack headed up to the helipad to meet Tseng, who would be piloting them out to Banora Village in Mideel that day. Zack greeted the Turk Commander by the chopper, preparing to board.

"Tseng," Zack called to him. "Still no word..."

"Yes," Tseng replied quietly and soberly. "I know. Let's hope...that we can determine what happened down there."

Nodding, Zack climbed aboard the helicopter, stowing his gear. He sat in the passenger seat, and strapped a headset on as Tseng got behind the controls of the helicopter.

"Another platoon is heading there before us," Tseng advised Zack as he began liftoff. "Make sure your commlink is open at all times, they're on the same channel as us, if any developments arise in Banora before we land…they'll inform us."

"Okay," Zack replied. "I'm hoping that no news is good news….but somehow I have my doubts."

Tseng grunted noncommittally, but did not say anything out loud. He didn't want to voice out loud his own troubled thoughts regarding the seeming defection of two of Shinra's top SOLDIERS. No, his job was to get himself and Zack to Banora as quickly as possible, and to investigate. There would be time to discuss and analyze things later, Tseng reasoned. Assuming they found either Angeal or Genesis on their mission.

* * *

Cloud sighed as he gathered up his supplies from Materia 101, including an un-mastered lightning materia that each student had just received, for the purposes of practicing with it. He held the orb in his hand, testing its weight, then, shrugging his shoulders, shoved it in his pants pocket as he exited the classroom, his head down. Not looking where he was going, Cloud immediately collided into someone in the corridor, and muttered a quick 'sorry' in apology. His eye caught a quick shock of red hair, and for a moment he thought it was his friend Dill, but in fact it was Reno.

_Oh gods_ , Cloud thought nervously, upon recognizing just who he'd crashed into. _It's that Turk, Reno...one of the ones who had that seminar that I totally skipped out of. Which led to me getting detention, which led to...Fredo_ , he thought quickly, as his mind played over the sequence of events. Cloud's mouth went dry and he suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable in the Turk's presence.

"Might want to watch where you put that materia, yo," Reno advised, smirking. "Trust me when I say that the pants pocket is not necessarily a good place to store _lightning_ materia," he cracked, smiling easily at the cadet. "Hey, relax, yo," Reno said, suddenly noticing how nervous the cadet seemed around him. "I won't bite. Zack'd kick my ass if I did," he added, snickering.

Cloud smiled, blushing slightly as he walked along the hall, Reno walking with him. "You...know Zack?" he ventured timidly, mentally slapping his forehead after uttering the words, realizing how stupid he must sound. "I mean...of _course_ you know Zack, everyone does," Cloud murmured. "Sorry. That was dumb."

Reno laughed, and clapped Cloud on the back good-naturedly. "Eh, don't worry about it," he told the cadet. "Anyway...so, Zack just left for his mission, as you probably know...he flew out with Tseng. I don't know if you've met the Director yet - "

"No, I haven't met him yet," Cloud interrupted, "but I know who he is. So, ah...what's it like? Being a Turk, that is?" he asked, eyes looking away from Reno's gaze, which was uncomfortably intense for someone he'd only just met, Cloud thought.

"Why, you thinking of signing up?" Reno asked, grinning. "Well...I can't see myself doing anything else, that's for sure. We do a little bit of everything - I suppose SOLDIERS do too, but Turks are a little more specialized. I don't wanna go into totally boring detail, but...between you and me, we do black ops kind of stuff. It's all under the pretty name of 'Administrative Research', though."

"Yeah, I noticed that," Cloud remarked, smiling. "I kind of wondered what your bomb-making seminar had to do with either administration _or_ research."

"Very good point, Cloud," Reno replied, chuckling. "Yeah...let's just say...there's a lot of gray areas involved. The Turks are the President's right hand - and to a lesser degree, the Vice President's as well."

"Huh," Cloud muttered, digesting all of this. "Interesting...well, thanks for explaining all of that to me. I think I'm aiming toward someday making it into SOLDIER, though."

"Well, if you ever change your mind, or have any questions, you let me know," Reno told him, giving Cloud a farewell wave as the cadet reached his next class, Battle Tactics. "See you...around, Cloud," Reno added, giving Cloud a strange look. No, Reno reasoned with himself. Best not to tell the young cadet that Zack - with Sephiroth's encouragement as well - had asked Reno to 'keep an eye on Cloud' while he was with Tseng in Banora; not that Zack didn't trust Cloud to take care of himself, but given that there had already been two attempts on Cloud's life already, Zack was taking no chances.

_I'll tail him, and just hope he doesn't catch on that I'm following him,_ Reno thought. _I know how to remain unseen...I don't want the kid figurin' out that he's being watched. Worse, if he figured out that Zack was the one who ordered the tail...I don't think he'd be too happy about that._

"Later, yo," Reno called, waving casually at Cloud as he pretended to leave. Later, he'd ensconce himself behind the corner, after Cloud had gone into the classroom.

Cloud took his seat in the classroom, third row from the front, when he heard a familiar voice calling his name. "Strife!" As Cloud looked up, he smiled, seeing Dill take the seat next to him. "Anyone sitting here?" he asked.

Cloud shook his head. "We don't really have assigned seating here. What are you doing here, Dill?"

"I switched a few classes around," Dill replied, placing his book bag on the back of his chair, as he removed a notebook and several pens from it, placing the items on the desk in front of him. "Didn't like one of the electives I was taking, so I switched things around. Hey, who's the hot redhead following you around?" he asked, smirking.

"Who?" Cloud stammered, momentarily confused. "Oh," he said, suddenly remembering his encounter with Reno. "That's one of the Turks. Following me? What do you mean, Dill?" Cloud said, frowning.

Dill snickered. "I've seen the guy tailing you all over campus," Dill informed him. "Either he's after your ass, or he's got other reasons for following you."

"That doesn't make sense," Cloud muttered, puzzled. "I mean...he must know that Zack is my boyfriend - "

"Maybe not," Dill mused. "And you know, he is kind of good looking. I wouldn't mind tapping that..."

Cloud chuckled. "Is that all you ever think about?" he asked. "Don't answer that. Rhetorical question, I already know the answer." Their instructor, Lieutenant Khyber, had finally arrived, and took his place in the front of the classroom.

"We'll see if that Turk guy is still following me after class, okay?" Cloud whispered to Dill, as the lieutenant began addressing the class.

"Okay," Dill whispered back. "And if it turns out he's not after your ass, then I'm gonna try and get his phone number, all right?" he said, smirking.

Cloud rolled his eyes as he opened his notebook. " _Whatever_ , Dill," he murmured, grinning.

* * *

Tseng landed the chopper just outside of Banora village, near a dumbapple orchard. Zack wondered if this was one of the orchards owned by Genesis's family. He'd heard it mentioned - mostly retold by Angeal - how the Rhapsodos family had owned several orchards of Banora White trees.

"Heads up, Zack," Tseng called to him suddenly. "Enemies incoming, three o'clock!" Zack drew his sword and swerved to the right, rolling and ducking just as a winged creature came bearing down upon him. Tseng aimed his revolver at the beast closest to him and fired twice, killing it. Zack thrust his sword upward, as one of the winged creatures swooped down, trying to claw at him. "Ahh!" Zack cried out slashing the monster in the gut. He nearly wretched at the stench of the thing's innards spilling out onto the ground, swallowing hard to hold back the wave of bile that threatened to come up. "Gods, that's disgusting," he murmured, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand. Hearing a squawk behind him, and seeing a large shadow looming in front of him, Zack knew another winged creature was after him. He ducked and rolled again, carefully evading the thing's attack, and slashed at the long neck with his sword, cleanly beheading the thing.

"Tseng, you okay?" Zack shouted over to the Turk commander, who had also dispatched another monster, this time using his shotgun. The Wutaian nodded at Zack affirmatively. "Fine," he replied coolly. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Zack told him. He frowned, and squinted up at the sky, looking out to the horizon as he scanned the area for more of the bird-like monsters, but they seemed to be gone - for now.

"I believe the coast is clear for the moment," Tseng observed, holstering his weapon again. "Let's head toward the village now, our first stop should be the Hewley home," he told Zack. "Even if Angeal is not there, his mother is still living there...perhaps she has some knowledge of where her son might be." Zack nodded, not wanting to interrogate the mother of his best friend and mentor, but he realized too, that there was little choice in the matter. He was a SOLDIER on a mission, and had to stay objective about the whole thing.

"This grave..." Tseng murmured, gesturing toward a dusty tombstone. "All by itself, that's rather strange."

"Yeah," Zack agreed, nodding. He squinted at the granite headstone, trying to decipher the name chiseled into the rock. "Can't read it," he commented, shaking his head.

"I'll take a rubbing, then," Tseng said quietly, taking a piece of paper out his jacket pocket as he knelt by the headstone, rubbing a piece of charcoal on the paper to take an impression. He glanced up at Zack and nodded. "I'll be done shortly," Tseng told Zack. "Why don't you go on ahead to the Hewley place, I'll catch up with you momentarily."

"Okay," Zack replied, hoisting his sword over his shoulder as he set off on the dusty path leading toward the village. "See you later, then," he called back to Tseng.

"Yes...good luck, Zack," Tseng murmured, as he turned back to what he was doing. He wasn't sure whose grave this was, or what significance it had, if any, but figured any piece of evidence was worth gathering, no matter how minor it might appear initially.

* * *

Zack came into the quiet little village of Banora - surprised, at first, by the complete lack of noise or sounds of activity. From what Angeal had told Zack about his hometown of Banora, it was a small but bustling agricultural village, the main crop being the Banora White, or dumbapple, as it was commonly called. Zack approached a crop of log cabins serving as outbuildings, some farming equipment was stored in several of them. Moving further in, Zack came upon a row of houses, around what appeared to be a village green.

The village green was deserted, and eerily quiet. Tightening his handgrip on his sword, Zack's skin fairly prickled as he sensed danger in the air; he wasn't sure who or what presented the danger, but it was almost palpable, he could _feel_ it. However, as he scanned the area, he didn't readily see anything that could pose a threat. He caught some movement inside the doorway of one of the small houses - and it was Angeal's house. "Angeal?" Zack called excitedly, as he ran in through the open doorway.

Zack stopped short as he nearly ran into a middle-aged woman, sweeping her kitchen floor. "Oh!" Zack blurted, as he nearly collided with the woman, she glanced up at him curiously, a small smile lighting her thin face.

"You must be Mrs. Hewley," Zack said, realizing exactly who the woman was - she had the same eyes as Angeal, piercing blue. The woman smiled and nodded. "Yes, I am, but please, call me Gillian," she insisted. "I can tell by your uniform, you're with SOLDIER - you must know my Angeal, then."

"I do, ma'am," Zack said, nodding. "He's my mentor - more than that, really, he's been one of my closest friends since I joined SOLDIER. I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself," he continued, flashing a grin. He extended his hand to Gillian. "Zack Fair."

"It's nice to meet you, Zack," Gillian said warmly, shaking his hand. A frown crossed her face. "You haven't...seen Angeal, have you, Zack?" she asked worriedly. "I've been concerned about him, he was acting oddly the last time I saw him - "

"I'm afraid I haven't seen him," Zack said apologetically. "I was going to ask you the same thing, actually...or if you'd seen Genesis Rhapsodos."

"Genesis," Gillian repeated, gazing past Zack through the still-open door. It was almost as if she was staring _through_ Zack. "No...I haven't seen him either. Both boys, such good friends..." she whispered, a faraway look in her eyes. "I have failed them both."

"Huh?" Zack blurted, not quite sure he'd heard Gillian correctly. "Of course you haven't failed anyone, Gillian!" he said brightly, trying to cheer the woman up. Her demeanor had suddenly changed, almost as if she'd seen a ghost, though Zack was certain the two of them were completely alone, in the Hewley home.

"You're a sweet boy," Gillian told Zack, attempting a smile. She took the broom and placed it inside of the broom closet, propping it up against the back corner of the wall. "If you see Angeal, give him my best, would you? And tell him...that I am sorry. For everything."

Zack shook his head and frowned, confused by the woman's remarks. "I'm sure you have nothing to be sorry for, Gillian," he said soothingly. "And it was nice to meet you. I'd probably better get going, I have to try and find Angeal and Genesis, okay?"

Gillian nodded, and raised her hand in a wave, as Zack departed. "It was nice to meet you, Zack Fair. Minerva be with you in your quest." Zack waved back, and left the small house, scanning the village green for any signs of life. "Nobody's _here_ ," he muttered to himself. "Strange. It's like...everyone's evacuated. But there weren't any orders to evacuate. I should have asked Gillian where everyone is..."

* * *

Zack ventured outside the village a bit, scanning the area for hostiles, as well as any sign of Angeal or Genesis. He spotted a factory in the distance, and decided to investigate a bit further. Perhaps there were some workers there who could explain where everyone was. It was too eerily quiet for Zack's liking.

"Looks like the Banora White factory," Zack observed, reading the sign as he approached. He went inside, shafts of late afternoon sunshine streaming through the windows, illuminating some of the factory dust within that was just floating in the air like a fine mist. He squinted his eyes, adjusting to the low light inside, when he heard a voice from behind him.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" came the mocking voice of Genesis. Zack spun on his heel, and advanced quickly toward the russet-haired SOLDIER.

"Genesis!" Zack shouted, glaring at the man. "Why did you desert SOLDIER! Where's Angeal?"

Genesis laughed mockingly. "SOLDIER," he repeated, snorting. "It used to mean something, to Angeal and I. It meant integrity, strength... _honor_." He spat on the ground after saying the last word. "Honor," Genesis said sarcastically. "We have no honor, Angeal and I. Not any longer. We are...monsters."

"What in the hell are you talking about, Genesis!" Zack snapped angrily. He barely noticed that Tseng had joined him, spotting him out of the corner of his eye; he was approaching Genesis from the side, as yet unseen by him.

With a snarl, Genesis spun around, extending his rapier. "Where do you think you're going, _Turk_ ," he growled, voice dripping with venom. He lunged toward Tseng, quickly slashing at him with the point of his rapier. Zack saw blood seeping through the white fabric of Tseng's Turk uniform shirt; the Turk stumbled back, clutching at his chest and shoulder as he hissed in pain.

"Genesis, that's _enough_ ," came a gruff voice from the doorway. Zack turned to see a very familiar looking, well-muscle SOLDIER

"Angeal!" Zack shouted excitedly, smiling at his mentor, who frowned at him, then sighed.

"Go tend to Tseng, Zack," Angeal instructed him, unsmiling. "I need to talk to Genesis for a moment." Glaring at the redhead, Angeal quirked his head. "Outside, Genesis. Now," he ordered him.

"Oh, I love it when you're forceful, Angeal," Genesis purred, slinking slowly by Angeal as he headed toward the door. He gave Angeal a smoldering look and grinned, ghosting his gloved fingers playfully over Angeal's well-muscled forearms.

"I am not in the mood for your bullshit, Genesis," Angeal snapped in a low growl. "Things have changed."

"Yes, we've both changed haven't we," Genesis whispered softly to Angeal as they made their way outside. "And you know what we must do now, Angeal. We must kill all those who made us this way."

"Shut _up_ , Genesis!" Angeal snapped. The two left the area outside the factory, continuing on to a dumbapple grove where they continued to argue.

Meanwhile, back inside the factory, Zack had raced to Tseng's side, kneeling over him, but the Turk Director waved him away.

"Zack, I will be fine," Tseng said dismissively. "Listen to me. There isn't much time. Banora is going to be bombed within the next half an hour. There are too many Genesis copies for you and I to handle ourselves, an aerial attack is the only real option - "

"Genesis copies, again? Oh gods...just like in Wutai..." Zack muttered. A fresh look of alarm crossed his face as he remembered Angeal's mother. "Gillian!" he said hoarsely. "Mrs. Hewley!" Zack shouted, as Tseng looked at him quizzically. "She's the only one left in the village - "

"Go to her," Tseng said firmly. "See that she's safe, and bring her to the chopper. I'll prep us for flight, and we'll evacuate in half an hour."

"I will," Zack said hurriedly, trotting out of the dusty factory, his legs quickly breaking into a run as he flew back toward the village, and Gillian's house. He ran without stopping, his heart practically burning in his chest as his legs carried him as quickly as possible.

"Gillian!" Zack shouted as he ran through the door. His heart fell to his stomach at the sight before him, and he nearly vomited. Standing over the dead body of Gillian Hewley was her own son - Angeal, the Buster sword in his hand.

"Angeal," Zack said in a low voice. "What happened here? You didn't - do that - did you?" He hated to ask the question, but the answer seemed fairly obvious to Zack.

Angeal did not say a word to defend himself, nor did he look at Zack; he just stared at the floor, at the now-dead body of his mother.

"Angeal, how could you!" Zack shouted, launching himself at his friend, hero, and mentor. _Not anymore, he's not_ , Zack thought bitterly, as he punched Angeal in the face. Maddeningly, Angeal just stood there and took the blow, not defending himself, still not saying a word.

"What about all your talk of _honor_ , Angeal!" Zack shouted, his voice shaking with emotion. Frustrated, Zack began pacing back and forth in the small house, peppering Angeal with questions, and becoming further enraged when the man did not reply.

"There is no honor for one such as myself," Angeal murmured cryptically. "Nor for him," he added, with a pointed glare toward Genesis, who had now entered the Hewley home.

"Genesis!" Zack snarled, advancing toward Genesis, ready to strike him. The redhead smirked, and a foot shot out as he tripped Zack, sending him flying. As Zack lay there sprawled out, Genesis laughed mockingly. "We'll be outside," he said in an aloof tone, shoving Angeal out the door. Swearing, Zack scrambled to his feet and ran after Genesis and Angeal.

He got outside and looked around, but only saw Genesis standing there, near the village green. "Where's Angeal!" Zack demanded, drawing his sword. "What did you do to him?"

"Me?" Genesis said, feigning innocence. "I have done nothing. And everything. I am...a monster. As is your hero, Angeal," he said mockingly. He extended his arm toward the sky, the red summon materia within his rapier glowing as he cast the spell. A shadow formed over the village green, and Zack looked skyward, groaning as he saw which monster had been summoned. _Bahamut._

"I can handle you," Zack muttered, settling back into a defensive stance. As the beast roared, and began attacking Zack with magic spells, Zack countered with a few spells of his own, along with several limit breaks. He circled around the creature and ran his sword down the spine of the beast, slashing the spinal cord all the way down through the tail. Bahamut screamed in agony, dropping his head slightly; Zack took that brief moment to stab the beast through the eye, burying the sword into its brain. Within moments, the thing twitched and died. Zack crept over to a patch of grass and wiped his sword clean; suddenly, hearing planes approaching, Zack looked up to the sky in horror. "Oh gods, no," he groaned, sheathing his sword as he ran out of the village, back toward the helicopter. "They're bombing already...shit, Tseng you better still be there, damn it..."

He ran as fast as he could, praying he'd make it in time. Zack heard the unmistakable sound of a mortar whistling behind him. As it hit the ground, the impact and shrapnel propelled Zack, sending him flying through the air.

"Oh gods, Cloud...and tomorrow's your birthday...wanted to see you...on your birthday..." was the last thought to go through Zack's mind, before he hit the ground.

* * *

_Several hours later..._

Back at the academy, classes had ended for the day, and Cloud was in the student lounge, snacking on a bowl of popcorn with Zane and Quinn, as Dill lazed on the large futon near the television. He was flicking through the channels, complaining that there was 'nothing worth watching.'

"Maybe if you left the station on for more than a millisecond," Zane observed dryly, "you might actually find something worth watching. Cloud and Quinn laughed, as Zane's gaze shifted toward the door.

"It's that Turk again," Zane whispered, nodding toward Reno, who stood by the door, a strange expression on his face as he scanned the room, apparently looking for someone.

"Told you he liked you, Cloud," Dill teased in a singsong voice.

Cloud grunted as he took a seat next to Dill, rolling his eyes. "Whatever, Dill." As Dill flicked through the TV channels yet again, Cloud frowned, certain he'd seen a news item about Mideel, and Banora.

"Wait, go back," Cloud instructed Dill. He rudely grabbed the remote from his hands. "Gimme that." Cloud changed the station back to the news channel, and felt his stomach lurch as he read the ticker at the bottom of the screen.

_Banora Village bombed. Two SOLDIERS, Genesis Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley believed KIA._

"No," Cloud murmured, his face slack with horror. He sat up straight on the futon, as did Dill, and they looked at each other helplessly.

_Please be okay Zack, please be okay..._

The camera panned to the news anchor, who wore a grim expression on her face as she began to read from her script. "Good evening. This just in, Banora village was the site of an aerial attack today, ordered by the Shinra army in order to combat an unusual number of monsters in the area. Believed to be killed in action are two First-Class SOLDIERS, Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos..." Cloud and his friends watched the broadcast in horror and disbelief, as two photos, a headshot of Angeal, then one of Genesis, were displayed on the screen.

"Hey, Cloud," Reno said, interrupting as he approached. "You need to come with me, I need to talk to you," he told him firmly.

"Shh," Cloud said, waving him off, barely even seeing him. "Watching the news - "

"Listen," Reno said, grabbing Cloud's arm. The cadet glared at him. "I need to tell you this before you find out the hard way - "

A picture of Zack, and one of Tseng were now both displayed on the screen. "And missing in action are Tseng of the Turks, and SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair," the news anchor went on. "They were reportedly last seen flying out of Banora Village, when their helicopter disappeared completely off the radar. Shinra troops are now combing the area for any survivors."

"No," Cloud whispered, his mouth gone completely dry. He swallowed thickly around the lump that was now forming in his throat, feeling as if he might fall over.

"Cloud, listen to me," Reno said quietly, gently slapping the now-catatonic cadet's face. "Come on man, you okay? Hey...one of you guys, get him a water or something?" the Turk called to Cloud's friends.

Dill was the first one up, and nodded at Reno. "'I'll get it," he said dully.

"Thanks. Hey...listen up, Cloud," Reno said, forcing Cloud to look him in the eye. "Shit, I wish you hadn't watched that, I was going to try and break the news to you gently - "

"There is no _good_ way to hear something like that," Cloud said, his voice sounding hollow.

Reno laughed without mirth. "I suppose you're right about that," he replied. "We gotta have faith that they're okay, right? Look...Tseng is the best at what he does. Just because the chopper disappeared from radar, that doesn't mean shit. They haven't found any wreckage, so they could still be in the air, on their way back home."

"Or they could both be dead," Cloud said flatly. "I...need to go to home. I want to lie down, I think."

"If you want any company, let me know," Reno told him. "I understand what you're going through man, I really do. Or maybe your friends here will look after you..."

"Of course we will," Quinn said sadly, nodding at Cloud.

"Yeah," Zane echoed, just as Dill returned with a glass of water. "Anything you need, Cloud, we're here for you."

"Thanks, guys," Cloud replied, sighing. "I just...feel kind of numb right now. Like I don't know what to think. I guess...I just have to pray, that Zack is okay. And Tseng," he added, glancing at Reno.

"We'll all pray," Dill said evenly, as Zane and Quinn nodded in agreement. "We'll walk him back to his room, sir," Dill told Reno.

"Zack's quarters," Cloud interrupted, correcting Dill. "Bring me...bring me back to Zack's place, please. You know, he...he asked me to move in with him...after I turned eighteen, that is. I want to be there...I'll...wait for him to come home..."

Reno and Dill exchanged a concerned glance, as Cloud turned away, zombie-like as he headed toward the exit. "You call me if you need anything, or if he flips out," Reno whispered. "Just call my office, I've got call forwarding, yo."

"Okay," Dill replied, nodding. "I will. Uh...thank you." With that, Reno left, and Cloud's friends flocked around him as they headed to Zack's apartment.

"Hey, told you I'd get that Turk guy's phone number, right?" Dill cracked, trying to joke with Cloud. "So you think I should call him, ask him on a date?" Cloud didn't even react to the joke, just stared straight ahead.

"Reno...he's too _old_ for you, dude" Zane interjected, shaking his head.

"Whatever, ma," Dill teased. "Maybe I like older men, right?" He elbowed Cloud, who still didn't react at all. Finally, Dill patted his friend on the back comfortingly, sighing.

They'd reached the officer's quarters, and entered the foyer, standing there while Cloud unlocked the door.

"You guys don't have to stay," Cloud said, sounding suddenly exhausted. "I'm just going to lie down."

"Well, ah..." Dill began, scratching his head. "Why don't we...hang out here for a little bit, maybe order some food? I'm worried about you, man."

"We all are," Quinn added, hugging Cloud. The cadet smiled sadly at his friends.

"Thank you," he said, sighing. "I really appreciate it, I do. I, uh...don't mind if you stay. But please don't think I'm rude if I lay down for a little while, okay? I'm a little stressed out."

"No problem," Zane assured him. They entered the apartment, and Dill made a beeline for the couch, looking for the TV remote. Cloud chuckled.

"Always hogging the remote," he murmured. "I'll...be out later, okay?" Cloud yawned as he turned toward the bedroom.

"Okay, Cloud," Dill replied. "Whatever you need to do, man. We'll be here when you wake up."

"Thanks," Cloud replied over his shoulder. He entered the darkened bedroom, and shut the door, then fell into the plush bed. The t-shirt Zack had last worn was lying on the floor; Cloud picked it up, inhaling Zack's scent.

He curled himself into a ball, hugging the t-shirt to his face, as a single tear rolled down his cheek, and he began to pray.


	10. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud continues to worry and wait for news on Zack, who is declared MIA following the mission to Banora.

 

_Take me to your heart_   
_Feel me in your bones_   
_Just one more night_   
_And I'm comin' off this_   
_Long and winding road_

_I'm on my way, I'm on my way_   
_Home sweet home, tonight - tonight_   
_I'm on my way, I'm on my way_   
_Home sweet home_

**"Home Sweet Home" - Motley Crue**

* * *

The previous week had passed in a blur, and when his birthday came and went with not one word from Zack, the cadet had convinced himself that his lover was dead, killed in action just as Angeal and Genesis were believed to be. The vague and speculative television news reports that Cloud had just heard were not helping much either.

Cloud had slept but briefly at Zack's place that night, right after he heard the initial news report - slept in Zack's bed, holding Zack's shirt tightly in his hands, gripping it as if it were a child's well-loved stuffed animal. He napped, but did not sleep well; any little sound he heard from his friends out in the living room would cause Cloud to bolt upright in bed, thinking that he was hearing the sounds of Zack returning home.

Cloud had insisted to his friends all along that he would be fine, that at least Zack and Tseng were only considered _missing_ in action, and not _killed_ in action, as Angeal and Genesis were believed to have been. The words themselves felt and sounded hollow, Cloud knew this even as he uttered them. He didn't even believe a word he was saying, and he was pretty sure his friends weren't buying it either. Inside, Cloud felt as if he was drowning, unable to breathe. _Zack…might never be coming back_ , Cloud thought despondently _. And if he does, what if it's in a body bag. No…don't want to think about that, not yet. Zack would never give up hope if I was the one missing._

Just before midnight, Cloud had woken up with a start, and looking around him, decided he needed to get the hell out of Zack's apartment, before he went completely mad. Everything, everywhere he looked, reminded him of Zack, and he needed to go somewhere that was less… _him_.

Cloud shuffled out to the living room, where his friends were still keeping vigil, hoping to hear of some word about Zack – good or bad – and wanting to be there for Cloud whenever he heard any news.

"Guys….thanks for staying with me, I appreciate it….so much," Cloud told them gratefully. "I really do. But I think I need to be alone now…and I want to go back to my room. I just…keep thinking about Zack, being in his place like this…I just need to get back to my own space, is all."

"You've been crying," Quinn said, in an almost accusatory tone. She got up from the sofa and walked over to Cloud, wrapping him in a gentle hug. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" the girl whispered.

"I have to be," Cloud said, sighing exhaustedly. "I…just have to be. I have to pull myself together, and just hope…for some good news, right?" Everyone nodded in agreement, Zane yawning, then apologizing quickly.

"No, don't be sorry," Cloud said kindly to his friend. "I can't thank you all enough for being there for me. I just…don't know what to do with myself, I guess. I don't think I'll get any sleep anyways, so I might as well head back to my room."

"What if Zack comes back, man?" Dill said quietly. "Shouldn't you wait here for him?"

"If he comes back – " Cloud paused, then corrected himself. " _When_ he comes back…he can find me, I'm sure. If I'm not at his place, he's smart enough to check my room, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Dill replied dully. He wouldn't say anything about it to Cloud, but Dill was also starting to get a bad feeling about where the missing Zack could be. The last few news reports they'd watched on the television while Cloud napped were mostly bleak in nature. Shinra troops hadn't found any sign of the chopper - or Tseng or Zack for that matter - and were now concentrating their search and rescue efforts over the ocean, theorizing that the helicopter must have crashed into the water at some point after the radio went dead.

No, Dill would not be sharing that bit of information with Cloud. _Let him hold on to a bit of hope, until we hear some actual news, instead of just speculation_ , Dill reasoned. They all walked back to their respective buildings and parted ways, just after midnight, with Cloud thanking his friends again, and promising he'd call them as soon as he heard any news about Zack.

Cloud entered his small room, shut and locked the door, then quickly undressed, throwing on a pair of sleep pants. He slid underneath the bedcovers, drawing them over his head, as if to shut out the world, but he couldn't. His thoughts wouldn't quiet, nor was Cloud even tired _. I need to try and relax,_ he thought , tossing and turning in frustration for the next few hours, sleep eluding him no matter how much he tried to relax. _I'm too keyed up…_

"I suppose I'll take a shower, clear my head," Cloud muttered to himself, as he robotically dragged himself out of bed, and quickly threw on a robe, preparing to head to the communal showers on his floor. "Then…maybe I should call my mom or something. She…never got to meet Zack." A sob caught in his throat, as the realization of those words sank in _. The best thing that ever happened to me…and what if my mom never gets to meet him. Oh gods…_

The water ran hot in the shower, and stung where it hit Cloud's face. He'd rubbed his cheeks raw from crying earlier, and the scalding water burned against the sensitive skin. He braced his hands against the cool tile wall of the shower, as his body heaved and wracked with unspent sobs he'd been holding back. _I need to hold it together_ , Cloud admonished himself, ashamed. _This…is not how someone in SOLDIER would behave._

After some time under the hot spray of the showerhead, the hot water began to run out, signaling the end of his shower, and Cloud reluctantly got out, toweling his hair dry, he threw on his robe. Once he got back to his own room, Cloud dressed in clean clothes, and sat back down on the bed, glancing at the clock. _Tick…tick…tick…_

He got up and paced back and forth, checked and re-checked his cell phone for any possible missed calls – and of course, there were none. _Not that they'd even bother telling me if there's any word on Zack_ , Cloud told himself _. I'm just a lowly cadet._

Not knowing what to do with himself, and feeling much too restless to sit in his room, waiting for a phone call that might not come, Cloud threw on some running shoes, and decided to go for an impromptu run. _Going for a run, at four in the morning…I might be nuts_ , Cloud thought, as he locked up his room. _And maybe I am, just a little. I just don't know what to do with myself, until I know that Zack is okay._

* * *

The next thing Zack knew, he was waking up with one hell of a headache, and he felt as if his entire body was moving...yet, he couldn't feel his limbs or anything like that moving, just an all-over sort of swaying, to and fro. He slowly opened his eyes, which felt as if they'd been sealed shut with some kind of adhesive, just blinking was proving to be painful. As his eyes focused, he realized that the movement he felt was due to the helicopter pitching forward.

 _Helicopter?_ As recognition set in, Zack sat up quickly, which proved to be a mistake - he winced as his head pounded with terrible pains. He rubbed his temples, and glanced over to the pilot's seat, where Tseng was calmly piloting the chopper over the ocean.

"We're...we're over the ocean," Zack muttered dumbly, groaning. "My head...what happened?"

"You're likely feeling a bit of shell-shock," Tseng informed him. "And yes, we are over the ocean...because of the bombing, I had to revise my flight plan and take us off course to the west a bit...we're circling back, Midgar should be within our sights fairly soon."

"Bombing..." Zack muttered, shifting his position uncomfortably in the seat. "The last thing I remember...was an explosion..."

"Lucky I found you when I did," Tseng replied, glancing sideways at Zack. He sniffed, then banked the helicopter around to the right, making an arc. "We're approaching the continent again," he informed Zack. "You were out cold for a while there, Zack. Seems you hit your head when the bombing started. No concussion, though you'll have a hell of a headache for a while, I would imagine."

"Yeah...the last thing I remember, was hitting the ground...thought I was a goner," Zack mumbled, as he began to piece together what had happened. _Oh gods...Cloud...I hope nobody told him I was hurt..._

Tseng's words suddenly registered with Zack. "Tseng, what day is it?" Zack asked as he looked out the window for the first time, it was pitch black outside, and the SOLDIER had no sense of time whatsoever. The past few days – the better part of a week, had gotten away from him, and being unconscious for some time only added to his feelings of unease. "You didn't report my injuries to headquarters, did you?" Zack asked, fretting.

"It's Friday," Tseng replied. "Well...Friday night, Saturday morning, take your pick, it's well past midnight on Friday. And no, I've reported nothing to headquarters," he continued. "Our radio's busted, so I can't. I'm presuming we've either been reported KIA or MIA, due to the lack of communication. The island where we landed earlier to re-fuel, had no working radio either." Tseng explained. "We've 'gone dark' – been off radar, and have been on radio silence for nearly twenty-four hours now, since we left Mideel. Nobody back home knows whether we're dead or alive, Zack."

"No," Zack whispered, horrified. "I've lost so much time…where the hell did this entire _week_ go? Gods, Cloud...if he's heard anything at all, he probably thinks I'm..." _It's Friday...so that means it's Cloud's birthday today. I wish I could be with him right now..._

"That's likely what everyone's thinking about both of us, Zack," Tseng said quietly. "Thank Gaia, we'll be home soon. I would imagine they're searching for our bodies right about now, or some wreckage," he added grimly.

"Gods, what an awful thought," Zack groaned. "Tseng, how much longer until we land?" Zack said impatiently.

"Not long now," Tseng told him. "I see the helipad...I'm taking us in." Tseng dipped the helicopter lower, maneuvering it toward the roof of the Shinra building and the helipad.

"Of course...I have no way to communicate with the tower, with our radio being broken," he added. "Hopefully they'll see the Shinra logo on the chopper, and refrain from shooting us down - "

"That's another horrible thought," Zack interrupted. "Way to be pessimistic, Tseng."

"I wouldn't say that," the Wutaian replied, grinning. "I'm more of a realist, I think." Turning his attention up front again, Tseng guided the helicopter down, and within moments he touched down on the helipad and landed the aircraft. Zack grinned as he saw activity within the tower, air traffic controllers scrambling as they recognized the missing helicopter and its passengers. A mechanic who was out on the tarmac ran over to greet them.

"Sir!" the man exclaimed excitedly, as Tseng opened the chopper door, still remaining in his seat as exhaustion hit him like a ton of bricks. "Sir, you and Commander Fair," the mechanic continued. "You're all right!"

"Yes, we're both fine, mostly….we're home," Tseng murmured, letting out the breath he'd been holding in. "At last. Please…inform Director Lazard and General Sephiroth that we've returned, would you? I'm…feeling a bit spent. I need a moment to collect my wits about me. " The man nodded, and ran off to do Tseng's bidding.

Tseng rubbed his forehead after removing his headset, and Zack noticed all of a sudden, how exhausted Tseng appeared. There was no telling when the man had last seen sleep; Zack was starting to consider himself lucky that he'd been passed out for a bit, at least it had allowed his body to rest somewhat.

"Tseng, you got us back safe," Zack said gratefully, his voice suddenly growing hoarse. "And...you saved my life, back there. I can't thank you enough."

"No thanks are necessary," Tseng replied, a faint, but tired smile on his face. "All in a day's work."

"Yeah, but still," Zack argued. He exited the chopper and shut the door, facing Tseng. "Still," he continued, "you don't know how happy I am to be back home."

"That makes two of us," agreed Tseng. "It's not easy realizing someone you once looked up to..." He paused, locking eyes with Zack. There was no need to go on; Zack knew Tseng was referring to Angeal. Zack sighed, his eyes heavy with sadness.

"I just can't believe it," Zack said, shaking his head. "I can't believe…that Angeal could be capable of such a thing."

"Perhaps he is not," Tseng said hopefully, as the men headed toward the rooftop stairwell. "You…didn't actually see him committing the act, did you?"

"Well…no," Zack said dubiously, scratching his head. "I didn't. Still, it seems like the logical conclusion…he was standing over his mother's dead body, and he held his sword in his hand…"

"Sometimes, logic is wrong," Tseng said cryptically. "And that which seems the more unreasonable outcome…is actually the correct one."

"I just don't know what to think anymore," Zack said sadly, shaking his head. "Everything…has been turned upside down."

"It has," Tseng said, nodding. He turned from Zack as they got to the corridor, and waited near the elevators.

"Go on home, Zack, get some rest. I'll contact you in several hours, we'll debrief the General and President Shinra then," Tseng added wryly.

"Yeah, I'm sure…everyone's figured it out by now, that we're alive and well," Zack agreed, the exhaustion suddenly hitting him like a ton of bricks. _Everyone…except for Cloud, that is._

"Tseng…tell the general I'll brief him in the morning," Zack told the Turk Commander. "My head's killing me…think I'd better rest." It was true, Zack had a killer headache all of a sudden, borne of dehydration and exhaustion, but it wasn't anything that a good night's sleep wouldn't cure.

 _Sleep…as if I'll be able to sleep once I see Cloud_ , Zack thought, smiling sadly. It was after one in the morning now, and Zack had missed Cloud's birthday altogether. He hadn't even had a chance to phone him, as he'd promised _. It wasn't my fault, I was unconscious,_ Zack thought. _Still…I feel terrible about it…_

* * *

It was cold out at this late hour – or early, Cloud thought, keeping in mind that sunrise was but a few hours away. This was a pretty miserable birthday, he reflected, as he mentally mapped out the route he wanted to run. It was a four mile loop; two miles out, and two miles back, up and down the main road. Nothing too strenuous or hilly, the route was pretty well flat, and served as a popular route for an easy, pre-dawn run.

 _Out and back twice, maybe_ , Cloud told himself as he stretched briefly before beginning his run _. I need to do this, just to do something to take my mind off of everything._

* * *

Despite being nearly overcome with exhaustion, after parting from Tseng, Zack sprinted to his quarters. He quickly threw his bag inside the door without even looking, and, slamming the door shut once again, ran over to Cloud's dorm room as fast as his tired legs would carry him.

 _Gods, look at the time…_ Zack thought, looking at the clock on his cell phone. _Feel terrible waking Cloud at this hour, but…I just need to see him._

He knocked, lightly at first; then, when there was no answer, a bit more persistently. "Damn," Zack muttered, running his hand through his hair. "He must be sleeping hard. And gods, do I ever need a shower," he commented, sniffing himself and making a face. He chuckled, imagining how Cloud would be rolling his eyes at him if he was there to see it.

"Where the hell could he be, if he's not sleeping?" Zack said to himself as he stood out in the corridor. He looked quickly at the bottom of the door; there was no light shining underneath. "I know he wasn't at my place…unless he was asleep there, and I didn't realize it?" Zack knitted his brows together, trying to remember. It had been dark when he opened the door and chucked his gear bag into the apartment, and hadn't even given any thought to the fact that Cloud might be there – and it was a possibility after all, since Cloud had been given a key.

 _Maybe I'll just head back to my place then_ , Zack thought, sighing with disappointment. He left Cloud's building, and slowly walked back toward his quarters, kicking away a bottle cap that glinted under the glow of the streetlights.

"I suppose I could call him on his cell phone," Zack muttered. "Gods, maybe I should just get some damned sleep…I'm not thinking clearly…head is pounding…ugh." As Zack stood on the sidewalk that led from Cloud's building to his own, he felt a rush of air pass through his body, as a small figure ran by at top speed _. What the…is that guy running away from someone?_ Zack wondered, squinting _. He's going so fast…_ A split second later, and Zack recognized the spikey blond hair, and an unabashed grin broke out across his face. "Cloud!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, running toward the elusive figure. " _Cloud_!"

Cloud didn't stop, though, as he had his headphones stuck in his ears, the music playing as he ran, oblivious to Zack's cries.

"Shit," Zack muttered, his legs – still feeling weaker than normal – moved slowly as he broke into a clumsy run. "Damn it, Cloud! Slow down!" he yelled after him. _Who the hell goes for a run at this hour, anyway?_ Zack thought, groaning from overtiredness. His legs would never be able to run fast enough so he'd catch up with Cloud, he was so exhausted. Zack slowed to a walk, unable to keep pace with Cloud; he stood there sadly

But Cloud was slowing down, and making a turn…he was coming up to the two mile mark, where he would double back again, and continue his run in the other direction. Cloud spun at the two-mile loop, never breaking stride, as he continued his run, head down – plowing right into Zack, who was standing there dumbfounded, unable to move.

"What the hell! – " Cloud muttered as he collided with Zack. He looked up at a grinning Zack, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"Z-Zack? You're…you're alive?" Cloud stammered, staring at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, Spikes," Zack said quietly. "I'm alive, thank Gaia. Tseng, too. If it weren't for him – " He was cut short as Cloud launched himself at Zack, nearly tackling him in a hug. Their lips met in a bruising, crushing kiss, both of them barely pausing to breathe. "I missed you," Cloud whispered, when he finally came up for air. "This week has felt like – "

"An eternity," Zack finished, pulling Cloud close, smelling his hair. _Home_. "I know, Cloud…I know. "I missed you. So much."

"I missed you too, Zack. I – we – well, nobody knew what had happened – all the news reports were saying that the Shinra troops were searching for b-bodies…that you were missing in action," Cloud babbled in between stolen kisses from Zack, the words coming out in a frantic rush. "They said you were missing in action, and that Angeal and Genesis…" He swallowed hard before going on, and looked sadly up at Zack. "That they were killed in action – is that true?"

"I don't know, Cloud," Zack replied sadly, shaking his head. "It doesn't look good for them, but last I heard from Tseng, they haven't found any bodies – "

"I hope they're okay," Cloud murmured. "I really do hope so." He pulled back slightly from Zack, and looked down at his own somewhat disheveled appearance. "Gods – look at me. I'm sweating and I probably smell like a dead Marlboro, that's no way to welcome you home."

"Cloud. I haven't showered in several days," Zack deadpanned, then grinned. "I _know_ I smell like a dead Marlboro." He placed his hands on either side of Cloud's face and drew him in, kissing him deeply.

"Happy birthday, Cloud," Zack murmured. "I'm so sorry I missed it." He brushed his lips against Cloud's tufts of blond spikes, one eye on the horizon. The sun would be rising in another few hours; Zack could see the faintest line of light, just at the edge of the horizon.

"You know, me being away," Zack said sheepishly, "kind of ruined the surprise I had planned for your birthday."

"I'd say this is a pretty good surprise right here," Cloud replied, chuckling. He crinkled his eyebrows into a small frown. "What time did you get back, anyway?" he asked, curiously.

"Not too long ago, we got in fairly late," Zack told him. "Can I ask why you're running around in the dark, before sunrise? Mister I-hate-mornings? I mean…this isn't like you," he teased.

Cloud shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "Couldn't sleep. My mind kept racing…kept thinking the worst, even though I tried not to. I stayed as positive as I could, but still…"

"I know, Cloud," Zack said, kissing the cadet's forehead as he drew him close. "I know…I mean, I'm thinking the worst about Genesis and Angeal right now, and I'm trying not to." He shuddered, recalling seeing Angeal standing over Gillian's dead body, and wondered if he should even share any of that with Cloud. He looked down into Cloud's large blue eyes; eyes that were gazing happily up into his own _. No, I can't do that to him_ , Zack decided _. That information might be classified, anyway…and I still have to talk to Sephiroth about everything…_

"What's wrong, Zack?" Cloud asked, as he saw the smile begin to fall from Zack's face. The SOLDIER shook his head, snapping out of it, and grinned again. "Nothing, Cloud. It's just…been a hell of a week. And I have a headache – I kind of bumped my head and blacked out – "

"Oh gods, you didn't get a concussion, did you?" Cloud asked, worrying. "You know, we have to stop getting head injuries, both of us."

Zack laughed, and wrapped his arm around Cloud's shoulder, as they turned around to walk back towards the barracks. "Tseng said I was out cold for a while, but I was checked out, though I barely even remember much of that. We had to stop and refuel on this small island that didn't even have a radio…so I couldn't even let you know I was okay. I'm so sorry, Cloud…I want to make it up to you, this being your birthday, and all."

Cloud shook his head, and wrapped his arm around Zack's waist, snuggling into his side. "You don't have to make anything up to me," he murmured. "This…having you back home, and safe – I couldn't ask for anything more. Welcome home, Zack…I love you."

"I love you too, Spikes," Zack whispered, as they reached his building. "Stay with me?"

Cloud smiled and nodded. "I will," he replied. "And you know…you didn't even need to ask."


	11. Government Flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud is subjected to a procedure that nearly kills him; Zack intervenes on his behalf.

_Gods, I looked like a mess that night, when you came back to me. My hair was soaked with sweat, plastered to my neck. You weren't in great shape yourself, apologizing for not having showered for several days the minute we ran into each other, in the pre-dawn light. You kept self-consciously sniffing your armpits, grimacing, then apologizing. It made me laugh, I couldn't help myself._

_But I'm so glad you ignored my pleas to not take a picture because we 'looked too messy.' Once again, you'd taken out your cell phone and snapped a photo before I even realized what was going on. You were obsessed with trying to take self-portraits of the two of us kissing; this one, you'd misjudged slightly. Probably you were exhausted, with just returning from Banora. I remember giggling as you tried to take the picture, then feeling what I assumed to be my own sweat trickling off my face, dripping onto my collarbone. I was embarrassed that I was perspiring all over us, and broke the kiss before I really wanted to._

_Later on, when I looked at the picture, at your face, I realized that what I felt wasn't dripping sweat. It was your tears. You had been crying when you took the photograph...whether from joy at returning home, or sadness over what had happened in Banora, I still don't know._

_What I wouldn't give to inhale your scent right now, even if you'd gone a damned week without a shower. And to feel your tears fall upon my skin...I would give anything to feel that once again, and maybe even have another chance to kiss those tears away._

* * *

It was a short distance from the spot where Zack and Cloud had quite literally run into each other, but the walk back to Zack's place was slow going, due in small part to the two stopping every few hundred feet to stop and stare at each other, each not quite believing they were really seeing the other in front of them, in the flesh.

It did seem too good to be true, Cloud thought, as Zack stopped yet again, pulling Cloud in a quick but warm embrace, kissing him. "You don't know how happy I am to be home, Cloud," he murmured, his eyes carrying a rare hint of deep sadness. What had happened in Banora? Cloud didn't want to ask, didn't want to pry. He knew that when Zack was ready, he would talk.

Unless...unless what he saw was classified, Cloud reminded himself. That was a distinct possibility, given the sensitivity of the mission. "And you don't know how happy I am to see you," Cloud replied, laughing. His eyes danced happily as he squeezed Zack's hand in his own, walking along the promenade toward Zack's building.

Zack smiled as he opened the door; a tired smile, the exhaustion of the past week felt bone-crushing to him. Even though he'd been unconscious for some time during the flight back, he felt as if he might collapse into bed, and not move for perhaps the next twelve hours.

"I have tomorrow off," Zack murmured, unashamedly stripping off his clothing in front of Cloud the minute they'd gotten into the apartment. Cloud swallowed hard, staring at Zack's toned body, the chiseled abs. As Zack kicked off his boxer shorts, Cloud's eye drifted further south, to the area in between the SOLDIER's legs. He swallowed hard.

"I really have to shower, then..." Zack muttered. "I'm sorry Cloud, I know I just got back, but I'm so damned tired..."

"It's okay, Zack," Cloud said, stooping down to pick up the clothes Zack had carelessly discarded on the floor. Zack grinned sheepishly at Cloud. "Oops...sorry. Gods, I am such a slob, you're going to get sick of picking up after me..."

"No, I won't," Cloud replied, quickly kissing Zack on the cheek. He felt his heart thudding in his chest, just because of the proximity of the man he'd been aching for the past week. "I...kind of missed doing it. Um….I'll be right back, I'll just put these in the laundry."

"Your nose is turning pink, Cloud," Zack remarked, grinning. "I know what that means."

Cloud quickly threw the clothes into the hamper, then turned back to Zack, frowning. He really had no idea what Zack was getting at. "What do you mean, Zack?" he said, unconsciously touching his nose. "It's...pink?"

"It means you're horny," Zack told him teasingly. "I've seen it happen before, Cloud...and it's very cute."

"Oh gods," Cloud muttered, rolling his eyes. "That's just...embarrassing. But I think I'm always horny around you, to be honest." He snickered, bringing his arms around Zack's torso as he stood up slightly on his tiptoes to kiss him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. And, you're sweaty," Zack added in an accusatory tone, a mischievous glint in his eye. "I think you need a shower too."

"I do," Cloud agreed readily, nodding. "You first, though. Let me get the blankets on the bed changed…I forgot to do it the other day." He opened the linen closet just outside the bathroom, grabbing a clean blanket and bed sheets. Zack eyed Cloud hungrily, ignoring the exhaustion he was feeling as he tried to stifle a yawn.

"Cloud," Zack murmured, moaning into the cadet's mouth as he kissed him. "I'm so sorry...about missing your birthday. I'll have to make it up to you - "

"You need to stop apologizing about that, Zack," Cloud said gently. "It's not your fault. Besides…we have all weekend to celebrate, now." He smiled, and then frowned. "Well…I have most of the weekend free, anyway. I think I need to get a bit of sleep," Cloud muttered, punctuating the statement with a yawn. "Then I have to go for a blood draw, and some kind of test."

"Blood draw? Test? What's it for? Nothing's wrong, is it?" Zack asked, mild concern lacing his voice.

Cloud shook his head. "No, nothing like that," he replied. "It's just some trial thing they're doing with some of the cadets...testing tolerance and sensitivity to Mako, that sort of thing."

Zack raised an eyebrow, a curious sense of dread coming over him suddenly. Where in the hell is that coming from? "Huh, that's interesting," he replied. "I suppose they have to test every now and then, see if the dosage they give is adequate...or if it's too much."

"I'm hoping I don't have a problem with it," Cloud said, sighing. "I've heard that if you're susceptible to motion sickness, you might react badly to Mako."

"You get motion sickness?" Zack said curiously, blinking.

"Don't you remember the amusement park?" Cloud retorted good-naturedly. "When I threw up on your shoes?" He grinned as Zack chuckled, suddenly remembering.

"Oh yeah," Zack murmured, his hand covering his mouth to hide another yawn. His shoulders slumped, heavy with the burden of fatigue.

"You're exhausted, Zack," Cloud observed. "Go and take your shower, then get some rest."

"Okay, I will," Zack said obediently. "You take such good care of me..." Cloud dismissed him with a wave, suddenly embarrassed. He gathered up the laundry that Zack had strewn on the floor, and threw it in a larger hamper, in the linen closet off the hallway. Cloud hummed to himself as he kept busy, dumping the contents of Zack's duffel bag out - he wrinkled his nose, chuckling as he remembered Zack's warning that he 'smelled like a dead Marlboro.' "Not quite that bad," Cloud murmured to himself, smiling as he sorted Zack's laundry. "But close."

Zack sighed loudly as he stepped under the steaming water, the heat relaxation his overtired and sore muscles. The fatigue of the past few days had caught up with him, and hit him like a ton of bricks, as he swayed sleepily under the droplets of hot water from the showerhead.

"I need sleep," he stated redundantly. Zack lathered up with shampoo and rinsed quickly, then soaped up his body with shower gel. It was the brand Cloud normally used; he'd apparently left it behind from the last time he stayed over. Zack flipped the cap and inhaled the heady, pleasant aroma; it smelled of coconut and lime, and the scent was so connected to Cloud in his brain that Zack nearly wept from happiness.

"Gods, I'm practically crying over the fucking soap," he muttered, cutting the water off after he rinsed clean. "I really have got to get some rest." Zack quickly toweled himself dry, and threw on a clean pair of boxers. He could hear Cloud puttering out in the kitchen with the dishes.

"Babe, come to bed," Zack called down the hallway. "Please...we both need sleep."

"I know we do," Cloud called back. "Almost done with the dishes, I'll be there in a minute." Truth be told, Cloud was tired, but not nearly as much as he should have been; he was thrilled beyond belief that Zack was back. Zack was safe, Zack was home, and Cloud's heart was full again.

Cloud tiptoed into the dark bedroom, the soft drone of Zack's snoring reaching his ears, making him smile. He slid in underneath the covers behind Zack, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in the warm, soft flesh of Zack's shoulder.

The sun was now streaming through the windows; a new day had dawned, as Cloud and Zack slept on.

Hours later, Zack stirred with a tired groan, moving and stretching his limbs slowly. "What time is it?" he mumbled, opening one eye to regard the alarm clock display. "Holy shit!" he blurted frantically. "It's two in the afternoon! Cloud, wake up! We've wasted the entire day!"

"Hmm?" Cloud murmured sleepily, stretching and slowly stirring, groaning as Zack jostled him awake.

"Come on, let's get up!" Zack exclaimed. "It's time to celebrate your birthday!"

"Can we celebrate it in bed?" Cloud grumbled, not meaning quite what Zack thought he meant; nevertheless, Zack seized the opportunity, and pounced upon Cloud, pressing his naked body down upon his, peppering his lips and face with gentle, teasing kisses.

"Zack...w-what are you doing?" Cloud murmured in mild protest. No, he hadn't meant that kind of celebrating, but now that Zack was all wound up - and horny - there would be no stopping him.

"Celebrating your birthday," Zack whispered, grinning as he swept his arms around Cloud's smaller frame, kissing him tenderly.

"...Oh," Cloud replied, shifting his body underneath Zack's. "Oh!" He flinched and moaned as he felt Zack's hand trailing up in between his thighs, softly stroking. Now he was awake, and any thoughts he'd had about complaining over Zack interrupting his sleep had quickly vanished. Cloud moaned, feeling the full weight of Zack's body pressing down upon him, suddenly grateful that Zack had forgotten to put on any clothing the night before; his cock was rigid, poking into Cloud's inner thigh, dangerously close to breaching his nether regions.

"Oh...gods, Zack..." Cloud murmured breathlessly, his legs parting, almost of their own accord as Zack bore down on him. Cloud heard the 'pop' of the container of lube being opened and flinched as he felt the cool substance being applied to his cock, Zack's hand stroking him maddeningly. He scrunched his eyebrows, looking up questioningly at Zack, as the SOLDIER grinned down at him. Zack let out a loud moan as he lubed up his fingers again, and inserted them into himself, one by one. "Unh," he muttered, throwing his head back as he prepared himself, fingers sliding in and out.

Cloud was riveted to the sight of Zack fucking himself with his hand. "Zack...oh god, Zack, you look...your face, when you do that, it's...it's..." Any coherent thought Cloud had was gone in the next moment, as Zack positioned himself over Cloud's ready erection and sank down onto it, letting out a sensual growl as he did so, back and neck arched. He gritted his teeth as he eased himself into a more comfortable position, and began riding Cloud.

"Holy shit, Zack," Cloud gasped. Zack was so tight, so perfect...Cloud felt as if he could just drown in him. What a way to go, Cloud thought, gasping as Zack bore down, riding him harder. He thrust his hips up in response.

"I love you," Zack gasped, grasping his cock and stroking, up and down, as he looked down at Cloud, his eyes shut tight in concentration, mouth hanging open, soft little mewls and sighs coming forth. Bright blue eyes suddenly shot open, staring into Zack's. Cloud felt overcome with emotions, and sensations, as Zack let out a ragged cry, his face slack with passion as he came in his clenched fist.

"Love…you too," Cloud cried out, wrapping his arms around Zack's waist, pumping his hips upward as he spilled into his lover. "Oh gods, Zack…I missed you…so, so much…" His emotions spilled over, as the tears flowed. His hands flew up to his face, as he hurriedly wiped away his tears, feeling ashamed.

Zack extricated himself from Cloud, and scooted up beside him, lying by his side. He threw an arm around his torso, and planted soft kisses along Cloud's jawline. "Shh, babe," he whispered soothingly. "It's okay. I missed you too, you know." He held Cloud tightly, as a sob wracked through his body. "Love you so much," Zack whispered, on the verge of tears himself.

They lay there like that, not speaking or even moving, for at least half an hour. Finally, Zack placed his chin on Cloud's chest, grinning up at him.

"So….ready for your birthday surprise?" Zack asked, his eyes dancing happily. "I hope you like it...I had arranged everything before I left. Before..." Before my best friend went AWOL and killed his mother, Zack thought morosely. A sad sigh slipped out, unbidden.

Cloud caught the sad look in Zack's eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked innocently, sitting up so that he could see Zack's face more clearly.

"Nothing," Zack lied, covering up his emotions by faking a yawn. "Just...a little tired, still." That wasn't entirely a lie - he was still tired, but it wasn't the bone-crushing exhaustion he'd been experiencing for the better part of the past week.

"I told you, we don't have to do anything for my birthday," Cloud said insistently. He didn't like that sad, faraway look in his lover's eyes – it was so unlike Zack's normal demeanor, and it unnerved Cloud. He put his arms tightly around Zack again, hugging him. "Just being together is all I want."

"Well, we've got that going for us," Zack replied with a smile. "But I had something made for you, and…I'm pretty sure you'll love it, so please stop telling me I don't have to do anything for you? I want to, Cloud."

Cloud chuckled, smiling. "Okay, I give up. So where is it, my surprise? Where did you hide it?" As Cloud got up and began searching eagerly around the bedroom for his present Zack doubled over laughing, a deep, rich sound that came from his belly.

"I love you, Cloud," he said, wiping tears of laughter away. "Gods, you are too much. You insist that you don't want any 'fuss' over your birthday, but the minute you know I got you something, you're like a little kid, trying to find it."

"Sorry," Cloud muttered, blushing. "I told you before, though...I'm not good with surprises."

Zack snickered. "Clearly not." He stretched his arms over his head, groaning as he did so, and caught Cloud staring wantonly at him.

"What?" Zack said teasingly. Oh, he knew why Cloud was staring at him - he had that look once again. Tempting though it was, to just stay in bed with his lover all day long, Zack really did want to give Cloud his birthday present.

"Nothing," Cloud muttered, blushing. "Maybe I just like to look at you, okay? You're...hot," he added, chuckling.

"Mmm, thanks," Zack murmured, nibbling on Cloud's ear briefly. "So are you." He then got up quickly, heading toward the shower, giving Cloud one more teasing glance over his shoulder. "Race you there!" As he ran off, Cloud scrambled, grumbling something about feeling rushed, though there was a huge smile on his face. Zack was home, and that was really all the birthday present Cloud needed.

* * *

After both were showered and dressed, they headed back to the Academy, to Zack's office. His face fell as he glanced over at Angeal's empty desk, Genesis's red coffee mug still resting on the blotter. Zack wrinkled his nose as an unpleasant smell wafted over; checking the contents of the coffee mug, he found that there was still a bit of coffee in it, which had started to go moldy.

"Yuck," Zack muttered, tossing the contents of the mug into the trash. "Guess...I'll wash this out later. Who knows if he'll ever come back..."

"You can't give up hope, right?" Cloud interjected, lofting an eyebrow dubiously. Really, he didn't hold out much hope for Genesis and Angeal either, at least going by the news reports that had been circulating since Zack had left for Mideel , but Cloud wanted to support Zack as much as he could.

"You're right, Cloud," Zack replied, a smile returning to his face. "Yeah, you know? You're right. I mean...it sounds like everyone thought Tseng and I were dead, and check it out, we're not!" He grinned widely, but stopped as he saw Cloud's face fall.

"Don't remind me," Cloud said in a small voice, shuddering. "I kept telling myself everything was fine and you would come back home...but deep down, I was really scared that you wouldn't."

"But I'm here now, Cloud, I'm _here_ ," Zack said reassuringly, pulling his lover into a loose hug. "Always gonna be here, too," he added, grinning. "Come on, now. Ready for your present?"

"Yeah!" Cloud said eagerly, nodding. "Where is it?" He looked around the small, shared office, but didn't see anything that stood out, or otherwise resembled a birthday present.

Zack sighed in an exaggerated fashion, chuckling. "Here, you need to sit down...and close your eyes," he instructed, leading Cloud over to his desk chair.

"Really?" Cloud whined, in a mock-complaining tone. "Do I _have_ to?"

"Yes, you do," Zack replied, moving over slowly to a storage locker near Angeal's desk. "Gods, you are too much fun to torture - "

"I knew you were enjoying this," Cloud interrupted, grinning, eyes still tightly shut. "You enjoy tormenting me - "

"I won't lie," Zack said, opening the locker and withdrawing a large package, over four feet in length, wrapped in plain brown paper. "I do kinda enjoy this. Okay...you can open your eyes," Zack said, suddenly feeling nervous about the gift. _What if he doesn't like it? What if...it's too much? I can't return it...it's custom made..._

"What...is this?" Cloud asked, as Zack handed him the gift. His heart began beating wildly as he discerned the shape of the package, the heft; Cloud was pretty sure he knew what lay beneath the brown wrapping paper.

"Thank you," he said in a whisper, wrapping his arms around Zack in a tight hug. The SOLDIER chuckled. "You haven't even opened it yet, Cloud!" he pointed out.

"I know," Cloud murmured. He pulled the brown twine off first, then carefully removed the brown paper from around the object. "It's - it's for me," he announced dumbly. "My very own." Cloud gripped the sword in his hand, suddenly too overcome by his emotions to speak, his throat felt paper-dry.

"Well?" Zack said tenuously. "Do you like it?" he asked, nervous with anticipation of the answer.

Cloud nodded, and then took a deep breath, trying to keep from crying. _Gods, what would be more embarrassing than that?_ "Of course I do!" he exclaimed. He held the sword out from him, admiring it, feeling its heft in his hand. It was...beautiful. It was a work of art. And it was _his_. It wasn't as large or impressive as Angeal's Buster Sword, but it was a beautifully crafted broadsword. Cloud's fingers ran over the edges of the polished, hammered steel, then over and under the handle of the sword. He looked curiously, as his fingers hit a ridges series of items underneath; flipping the sword over, Cloud saw that there were three materia slots built into the handle of the sword.

"Materia?" Cloud murmured, fingers palpating the glowing orbs within the sword. "Wow..."

"Yeah," Zack interrupted, taking the sword from Cloud, flipping it over. "Three kinds, here - you've got lightning, fire, and restore. Hoping you won't need the last one all that much..."

"This...this is amazing, Zack," Cloud said softly, taking the sword back from him. "Thank you. I don't even know what to say."

"Just seeing how much you like it...that's all I need to know, babe," Zack said, a pleased grin on his face. He was ecstatic that Cloud seemed well pleased with the sword. "So...you wanna spar?" Zack asked him, giving a sly look, as he reached for his sword.

Cloud giggled, and felt the blood drain from his face as he noticed the time on the clock hanging from the wall. "Oh no!" he exclaimed fretfully. "I'm late...can I leave this with your sword, in the locker? Gods, I have to go..."

"Sure, of course you can, Cloud," Zack replied, taking the sword from Cloud, standing it up next to his own. "But where are you off to? What is it that you're late for?" he asked, puzzled.

"It's that Mako trial thing that Professor Hojo is doing…didn't I tell you about it? I can't remember," Cloud muttered, pulling on his boots. His cell phone suddenly chirped, lying on the table nearby; Cloud rushed over to answer it. "Shit…it's Dill," he muttered to Zack, taking the call. "I know, I know!" he said belligerently. "I _know_ I'm late, I'll…meet you there. I'm leaving now."

"I gotta go," Cloud said apologetically to Zack, giving him a fast hug before taking his leave. "Thank you," he said softly, a shy smile on his face. "That was the best birthday present ever, I can't even thank you enough for the sword."

"You don't have to," Zack said kindly. "Like I said, the expression on your face is all the thanks I need, really. I'm glad you like it."

"I really do," Cloud said, hugging Zack again. "I feel terrible running off like this, but I kind of don't have a choice…"

"It's okay, Cloud," Zack assured him. "We'll meet up when you're done. Good luck!" he added, feeling a small bit of worry, wondering how Cloud would react to the Mako. A small handful of the population was known to have an intolerance to Mako, and the trials were Hojo's way of sorting the 'undesirables', as he would put it.

Saying goodbye, Cloud hurried off to the research facility, where about fifty cadets were gathered. He spotted Dill right off, the red hair giving away his location, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Hey," Cloud called to his friend, who waved him over, grinning. "Whew, guess I made it just in time."

"Yeah, they were just out here a minute ago," Dill told him, "saying that Professor Hojo would be out shortly. They're splitting us up alphabetically…A through L, then M through Z, so you and I, we'll be together."

"Oh, good," Cloud said absently, shifting nervously from one foot to the other. The chemical smells of the lab were ever-present, wafting through the air, nearly turning Cloud's stomach on end. He hated hospitals, and anything remotely resembling them; ShinRa's labs seemed somehow even worse to Cloud. It wasn't as if hospitals were warm and welcoming places, generally speaking, but there was something about the ShinRa labs that made Cloud feel ill at ease, he couldn't explain it.

"This place is _creepy_ , isn't it?" Cloud remarked to Dill, who shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Hey, where are Zane and Quinn? I thought this was required of all cadets."

"It is," Dill said, nodding. "But they're going to some later session, I don't know."

"Oh, I guess I hadn't realized they were doing more than one," Cloud whispered, as Hojo came out to address the group of cadets. Cloud took an instant dislike to the man, just on sight, which he knew probably wasn't fair to the man. But just like the creepy vibe Cloud was getting from the labs themselves, the vibe he was getting from the one who was in charge of those labs, was even worse.

"Good afternoon, cadets," Hojo said in greeting, his voice high and grating. "You will be called by name, and each of you will proceed into the examination room, one of my assistants will be there to guide each student inside. Just to give you an idea of what will happen – from there, you will disrobe, and step into one of our containment tanks, where a small, but concentrated dose of pure Mako will be showered upon you."

"It shouldn't be so bad, right?" Dill whispered to Cloud, trying to sound reassuring. Truth be told, he was nervous as well, but didn't want to let on that he was. "After all…material is just concentrated Mako, right? And we handle that with our bare hands, in class and stuff. This…this should be fine, Cloud. We should be just fine." Waiver forms were passed around while they were waiting in line, and Cloud hesitated over the section for 'emergency contact' – normally, he'd put his mother's name, but since she was all the way in Nibelheim….

Cloud hastily scrawled _Zack Fair_ in the emergency contact section, and filled in Zack's cell phone number. _Just standard procedure, I'm sure. Everything will be fine, just fine…._

The cadets all congregated, waiting nervously for their name to be called, and to be ushered in. Dill went in before Cloud did, and came back out not too long thereafter, looking a bit groggy, but none the worse for wear. "It was weird. It wasn't…what I'd call pleasant, but eh, at least it's over now. I feel a little bit out of it, and I feel a little bit nauseated, but the doc told me that's normal," he said, shrugging. Cloud's name was called moments later, and he reluctantly entered the testing lab, one of Hojo's student assistants escorting him in.

"You'll need to undress completely," the assistant told Cloud, taking the waiver form from him. "Put this on when you're ready," he added, handing Cloud a small robe, more of a hospital johnnie than anything.

"Okay," Cloud murmured, his nervousness increasing with each moment. _Does it have to be so damned cold in here?_ he wondered, shivering.

Moments later, Hojo entered the room. "Ah, Cadet Strife," he murmured, looking over Cloud's medical chart. "Seems you've been to the infirmary several times already, we have you on record here." Cloud flinched at that, remembering the reason why he'd been to the infirmary for his first visit.

"Yeah," Cloud mumbled, praying that Hojo didn't ask for clarification as to why he'd been to the infirmary.

"No allergies to medication are noted here, is that correct?" Hojo asked, sounding bored and detached as he leafed through the documents on his clipboard.

"Yes," Cloud stammered. "I mean – I'm not allergic to anything."

"Good," Hojo said crisply, clicking his pen and inserting it into the pocket of his lab coat. "We shall proceed. You may disrobe completely now, hang the robe on a hook – over there, see where I am pointing? – and step right into the containment chamber. It will be over in just a moment."

Cloud suddenly got an oppressive feeling in the pit of his stomach as his claustrophobia flared up; the containment chamber appeared small, constricting. He didn't like the look of it, and remembered when he'd had the MRI. _That was almost as bad, and I survived that,_ he told himself.

"I'm a little claustrophobic," Cloud murmured as he stepped in, ever cognizant of Hojo's eyes on his naked body.

"That's a shame," Hojo said indifferently, checking something off on his clipboard. "It will be over soon, I assure you, you will not be in the chamber terribly long."

"Okay," Cloud replied, shivering. "Thank you, sir." There was no reply from the scientist as the chamber door was shut behind Cloud, and Hojo ran over to his workstation, flipping switches and entering computer commands to begin the Mako infusion into the chamber.

A bright, aquamarine aura descended around Cloud, enveloping him much like a thick fog. He coughed, and in so doing, got a mouthful of the Mako mist. It smelled and tasted of _death_ and _decay_ , and Cloud began gagging, choking with every breath, his fists pounding against the glass of the tube.

"Stop!" he begged, eyes darting frantically back and forth, seeking out the one behind this science experiment. Cloud spotted him standing by and studying him curiously, not moving a muscle to help him.,

"Very interesting reaction indeed, Hojo murmured, jotting down some notes as Cloud begged for him to stop. Blood began pouring from Cloud's nose and mouth; only then did Hojo finally react. He entered another computer command, and the Mako fog dissipated within the tube, revealing a nude Cloud, passed out cold, his blood-smeared face pressed against the side of the containment chamber. Pressing a button on the intercom, Hojo spoke quickly into it.

"Medics, we have a code blue in here, please hurry," he said briskly. Disconnecting the call, Hojo walked over to the chamber and opened the door, Cloud falling out into a heap on the floor.

Making yet more notes in his log, Hojo muttered to himself as he wrote. "Specimen C-151 is an abject failure. I have never seen such a poor reaction to Mako. I cannot recommend this cadet for SOLDIER." He thumbed through the forms as the medics arrived, attending to Cloud, and Hojo finally located the waiver form.

"Emergency contact is Zack Fair?" Hojo muttered speculatively. "I wonder what a First Class SOLDIER would want to do with this grunt," he added, dialing the number for Zack. _No matter…if Fair is indeed the contact, then this will be his mess to clean up._

"Zack Fair?" Hojo spoke rapidly into the phone, before Zack could even reply. "Yes, Professor Hojo here. Are you the emergency contact for Cadet Strife? He indicated so on the waiver form."

"I…I am," Zack replied nervously, running his fingers through his hair. "What – did something happen? Is Cloud okay?"

"He had an allergic reaction to the Mako," Hojo said coldly, "and resuscitative measures were taken. He appears to be stable, but is being discharged to the hospital for observation. I have never seen such a poor reaction to concentrated Mako. He will never be in SOLDIER."

Zack felt his heart drop; he raced out of his apartment, barely remembering to lock it behind him. "Damn it, he's going to be crushed when he hears that."

"Frankly, I don't even know how he made it this far," Hojo said dismissively. "From a physiological standpoint, Cadet Strife is an utter failure.

Zack felt the anger rise, and knew he wouldn't be able to keep his temper in check, not this time. These damned scientists, so fucking detached…inhumane…

"With all due respect, Professor…you can take your physiology and your Mako trials, and shove them up your ass. Cloud Strife is more of a SOLDIER than you could even imagine." He hung up the call as he ran as fast as he could toward Midgar General Hospital, about a mile away from Headquarters.

"Some birthday you're having, Cloud, gods," Zack muttered to himself _. I'm going to speak to Sephiroth about this…Hojo must be stopped. Experimenting on cadets, what's next?_


	12. It's My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Cloud recovers, he makes a decision regarding his future that Zack doesn't exactly agree with.

_It's my life_   
_And it's now or never_   
_I ain't gonna live forever_   
_I just want to live while I'm alive_   
_(It's my life)_   
_My heart is like an open highway_   
_Like Frankie said_   
_I did it my way_   
_I just want to live while I'm alive_   
_'Cause it's my life_

_Better stand tall when they're calling you out_   
_Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down_

**It's My Life - Bon Jovi**

* * *

Zack's heart was in his throat as he raced toward Midgar General Hospital. _Damn Hojo!_ he thought furiously. _After I check on Cloud, I am going to bring this to General Sephiroth's attention. Hojo's gone too far with his experiments this time._ Little did Zack know, that Sephiroth was well familar with Hojo and his methods, being the scientist's prized specimen.

The hospital floor was abuzz with activity, Zack had arrived in the middle of a shift change, and trying to flag down a nurse - someone, anyone - who could tell him where he could find Cloud, or any news on his condition - was quickly becoming an exercise in futility.

"Excuse me - " Zack began, so many times, trying to get someone's attention. "Ma'am? I'm looking for someone who was just brought in, a cadet - " But he was ignored amidst the hubbub, growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of response.

Then, he heard it. An ear-shattering, heartbreaking, agonizing scream. It was Cloud, _had_ to be Cloud, Zack just knew it. He charged toward the horrific sound, dodging nurses and orderlies, focused on one thing only: _find Cloud._

The wailing sound intensified, and Zack finally reached the source - the last pod on the left in the emergency department had the curtain drawn, but that thin bit of cloth wasn't about to stop Zack Fair, he marched right over and jerked the curtain back, his face a mask of anger which softened a bit as he saw Cloud laying there on the gurney, writhing in pain. Cloud pushed the button on his morphine drip, the medication quickly delivered through one of the three IV's stuck in his arm, dulling the burning pain that was radiating through his entire body.

Zack went right over to Cloud's side, murmuring softly to him. "I'm here, Cloud, I'm here...gods, what did Hojo _do_ to you?"

"Sir, you really need to leave, you shouldn't be in here." The triage nurse had returned with another bag of IV fluids, and switched it out with the one that had been depleted, hanging it from the metal pole.

"I'm his emergency contact, my name is Zack Fair," Zack explained, giving the nurse a look. "His only other next of kin is his mom, and she's all the way in Nibelheim."

The nurse shook her head and sighed. "I suppose it's fine that you stay, he doesn't seem to have anyone else here," she replied. "I'll be back shortly to check his vitals, and the doctor will come by during his rounds."

"Thank you," Zack said gratefully. He turned his attentions back to Cloud, whose color was slowly starting to return to normal, from a sickly green-gray shade. "What happened to you, babe? They said the Mako - you had a bad reaction - "

"I'll never be in SOLDIER," Cloud said dully, his voice a monotone. "I'm a failure. I _heard_ what Hojo said, Zack."

"Well, he said something along the same lines to me too, and I say he's full of shit," Zack retorted. "Listen, don't pay any attention to that asshole. Mako enhancement is only part of what a SOLIDER is, Cloud; most of it comes from what's in _here_ ," he said, placing his hand over his heart.

Cloud attempted a half-smile, then sighed, sinking back into the pillow. He held onto Zack's hand weakly and bit his lip, vowing that he would not let Zack see him cry; it was bad enough the humiliation he was now feeling over failing the Mako trials. "That's nice of you to say, Zack, but I don't see any point in going on with my training. I'm feeling really defeated. I guess I'll just go back home, everyone will know that I failed...that I couldn't cut it as SOLDIER..." He paused, steadying his voice. "Maybe I won't go home after all. I don't know if I can stand being mocked by everyone there, really. Maybe...maybe I'll wander the Planet, become a mercenary or something." Cloud laughed bitterly, his face unsmiling. "I'm good with a sword, at least."

Zack felt his heart shatter at Cloud's words, and his anger toward Hojo was further intensifying. "I don't want to hear this, Cloud. Hojo is just _one_ man - not much of one if you ask me, and one man's opinion alone, isn't enough to keep you out of SOLDIER. I still have faith in you, babe. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

"You know, I'd been feeling pretty confident in myself up until today," Cloud replied in a low murmur. "Zack, really...don't waste your time with me. If I stay here, I'll be nothing more than a trooper, an infantryman. I'll never be as great as you are." _Or Angeal and Genesis_ , he added silently.

"Let's not talk about this anymore, I don't want you upset...you've been through enough today." Zack tightened his hand around Cloud's, silently vowing to do whatever he could to help Cloud through this. The nurse reappeared, followed by the doctor. Cloud made a face as he noticed the serious expression on the doctor.

"So, how bad is it?" he asked, sighing. "You don't look too happy." At this, the doctor finally smiled kindly at Cloud. "It's not as bad as you might think, son," the doctor said, gazing again at Cloud's chart. "Considering the fact that you very nearly died when you were brought in, you've made an amazing turnaround."

"Why am I still in so much pain, then?" Cloud asked, wincing as he shifted around on the small gurney. Zack grimaced, and tightened his grip around Cloud's hand.

"There's still an extraordinary amount of Mako in your system," the doctor informed Cloud. "Despite the fact that we've been flushing it out of your body, having you on a constant saline drip. It's almost as if the Mako is refusing to leave your body."

"Is that...normal?" Cloud asked hesitantly, casting a worried glance at Zack.

The doctor looked at Cloud over his glasses, and shook his head. "It's not unheard of, but it's certainly unusual. What this means, is - your body is sensitive to Mako. It sees it as an allergen - a pollutant, if you will, and that is what triggered the reaction you had. However...in some studies, we've seen that prolonged exposure to smaller doses of Mako than what you received today, can help an individual build up a tolerance. It's my opinion that Hojo was too quick to dismiss you as a failed test subject."

Cloud grunted noncommittally. "So what you're saying is...if they had given me less Mako today, I might have been okay?"

"Right," the doctor confirmed. "However, that is not how Hojo runs the trials. The qualifications to get into SOLDIER are very stringent, as you know, which is why Hojo starts off with the higher concentrations of Mako.

"But if I got Mako injections, like you said..." Cloud argued, "smaller amounts, to build up my levels...then maybe I'd eventually be able to tolerate the bigger doses of Mako?"

"It's possible," the doctor said, a bit dubiously. "However, you need to realize...Mako is a _drug_. Yes, it is also a form of energy, that ShinRa has been able to harness successfully, to use in our businesses and homes; but, when introduced into the human body, it behaves much like any very strong pharmaceutical. There are no guarantees, and there is a very strong possibility of addiction."

"I don't care," Cloud said stubbornly. "I will do _anything_ to get into SOLDIER."

Zack's face bore a look of horror. "You can't mean that, Cloud," he said quietly. "Babe, it is not worth it. It's not worth sacrificing your health, your sanity - "

"Easy for you to say," Cloud snapped, face flushed red with anger. "You've already made it."

Cloud's words stung Zack, almost physically; he recoiled, taking a few steps back from him. "Cloud..." he began slowly, not quite knowing what, if anything, he could say to make this better.

"Doctor," Cloud went on, ignoring Zack as if he was no longer standing right there by his side. "Can you give me these injections? I want to start treatment," he added, as Zack looked at him in horror.

The doctor gave Cloud a skeptical look, then jotted something down on a piece of paper from his prescription notepad, handing it over. "That's the name of a specialist who has several patients on the Mako protocol. It's treated much the way one would receive allergy injections...but you need to be aware, that there can be some very painful side effects, though nothing like you experienced today - hopefully," the doctor added cautiously. "And there are, of course, no guarantees that this will work well enough to qualify you for SOLDIER."

"Thank you, doctor," Cloud murmured, taking the piece of paper. "It's worth a try, though right?"

"That is entirely up to you," the doctor replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm going to get your discharge papers ready, you're fine to go home." The doctor and the nurse exited the pod, and Zack turned on Cloud, violet eyes flashing angrily. "Are you insane, Cloud?" he hissed. "You want to put yourself through more hell? I won't let you do this to yourself, just to get into SOLDIER!" he exclaimed. "It's not worth it!"

"It's not your decision to _make,_ Zack!" Cloud snapped, hot tears sparking the corners of his eyes. "You're already in SOLDIER, you don't have to worry like I do!"

"You think it was easy?" Zack retorted. "It was _hard_ , subjecting myself to the Mako, it isn't easy for any of us! And it's worse for you, Cloud, you had such a bad reaction to it. I don't want to see you hurt, babe."

"But I want this, Zack," Cloud said, gritting his teeth as the tears fell. "I want this so badly, I'll do anything to get into SOLDIER."

Zack sighed, shaking his head. "I can see there's no talking you out of this, but will you wait before doing anything too rash? At least sleep on it. I don't think this is a good idea, Cloud, I really don't - "

"I have to do this, Zack," Cloud said stubbornly. "I have to, I have to get into SOLDIER, or everyone at home will know what a failure I am."

"Listen to me. You are _not_ a failure, and I love you, whether or not you ever get into SOLDIER. Don't you get that?" Zack said sadly, touching Cloud's face. "What if you died from this, Cloud, huh? Ever think of that?" Zack saw in his mind again, the image of Cloud's face contorted in pain coming back to him from when he'd first arrived to the hospital.

"You don't get how much this means to me, Zack," Cloud said, his eyes fixing Zack's, the gaze fierce. "This is all I have...and if I die trying, well - so be it."

"All you have?" Zack echoed, laughing bitterly, without mirth. "Then I guess I don't mean anything to you, do I."

"No - I didn't mean it like that, Zack, of course I didn't," Cloud said hurriedly, sitting up as he reached for Zack's hand. "I love you, Zack, more than anything."

"But not more than this dream of yours, to get into SOLDIER," Zack said softly, his eyes sad. "The death of a dream is hard, Cloud. I know I'm always telling you to embrace your dreams...but right now, maybe you just have to find _new_ dreams. What about...us, for instance?"

Cloud shook his head. "I don't follow you, Zack," he murmured, looking a bit confused. "Can you explain?"

"Well..." Zack said, taking Cloud's hands in his own. "Our future, Cloud. You and I. Where do you see us in a few years?"

"I...well, ah," Cloud paused, scratching his head. "I see us together, of course. Specifically, though? I guess I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Yet you've thought far enough ahead that you wanted to see yourself in SOLDIER, right? Here's the thing...I see a future with us, _both_ of us. And the idea that you would willingly risk your life...Cloud, I don't want you to _die_. That's all I'm trying to say here."

"But you could die any time you go out on a mission," Cloud argued, his voice quavering. "When you went to Wutai..." His voice dropped slightly. "I thought you were gone from me, forever."

"I'm sorry, Cloud," Zack said. "And you're right...being in SOLDIER, or even just a trooper, carries a risk."

" _Just_ a trooper?" Cloud shot back, seizing upon that one word. "Just a trooper." He snorted, shaking his head. "So now I know what you really think of me, if I end up being 'just' a trooper."

"Cloud, _no_ ," Zack said, his mouth hanging open in horror at what he'd just said. "I so didn't mean it like that...I've told you before, everyone is important, cadets, troopers, SOLDIERs, Turks, everyone. We all work together as a team."

"I want this, Zack," Cloud said firmly, his eyes tired, the dark circles beneath them now evident. "This is more important to me than anything."

"More important than _us_?" Zack asked quietly. He knew it wasn't fair to ask the question, but at the same time, he had to know, what Cloud truly felt.

"Yes," Cloud said dully, his eyes downcast, refusing to meet Zack's.

"Here comes the doctor with your papers," Zack said, his voice barely a whisper. "I guess...I'll take you home, after you're signed out." He couldn't meet Cloud's gaze either, and stood to the side awkwardly, as Cloud was given discharge instructions, and papers to sign himself out of the hospital.

 _I want to support him however I can, but...I feel him slipping away from me_ , Zack mused, utterly depressed at the thought. _How can I encourage him to do the very thing that has the potential to kill him? It's his dream, but...what about my dream?_ Zack thought again of Angeal, and wished his friend was still here; he'd know exactly the right thing to say, and would advise the best course of action for Cloud.

Once Cloud was free to go, Zack hailed a cab, not wanting Cloud to walk very far after leaving the hospital. "I'll stay with you...if you want, anyways," Zack offered, as they sat in the back of the cab. Cloud gave a small smile, and placed his hand in Zack's. "You can stay at my place, nice big bed. Since you haven't moved your stuff in yet," he added with a smile.

"I'd like that," Cloud said shyly. "I might just be sleeping a lot. It's been a rough day."

"Yeah, I'll say," Zack said dryly. He sighed, and squeezed his hand around Cloud's. "I love you, no matter what happens, okay?" _Please don't do this_ , Zack wanted to say out loud, but knew the words would fall on deaf ears at this point. _Please don't kill yourself, literally, trying to get into SOLDIER. I need you here..._

But Zack remained silent, knowing that arguing with Cloud was futile, and he didn't want to alienate him further, despite his very real worry for his lover's well-being.

"Embrace your dreams, Cloud," Zack told him grudgingly, as they pulled up to the building. "And I'll be with you every step of the way."

Cloud got out of the cab and turned to face Zack, who was paying the cab driver his fare. After the cab sped off, Cloud wrapped his arms around Zack, pulling him into a tight hug.

"I love you, Zack. And I know you don't agree with my decision, but...I love you for supporting me anyway," Cloud said, his voice muffled.

"I still don't like it," Zack muttered disapprovingly, as he opened his door, holding it open for Cloud. "But I meant it, Cloud...if this is what you really want, I'll be there for you."

"That's all I can ask for," Cloud murmured,hugging Zack as he yawned. "Tired. Going to rest, take a nap."

"Okay," Zack replied, kicking off his boots, and reclining on the couch, as Cloud headed to the master bedroom. "Might join you in a bit." Zack closed his eyes, but his thoughts raced and he grew restless. Soon, overcome by exhaustion, the sleep-laden eyes slid shut, as Zack lapsed into a much-needed sleep.


	13. House Of Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Cloud enjoy some time together; a new mission comes together; and a misunderstanding threatens Zack and Cloud's relationship.

_I don't wanna be your friend_  
I just wanna be your lover  
No matter how it ends  
No matter how it starts

_Forget about your house of cards  
And I'll do mine_

**"House of Cards" - Radiohead**

* * *

Zack was dreaming; he was in a dark place, something subterranean - sewers, perhaps? Wherever it was, Cloud was down there with him, until a dragon swooped down, knocking the blond cadet over like he was nothing.

_"Cloud, get down!" Zack shouted, wielding his sword at the beast._

_"No, I'm fighting alongside of you," Cloud told him stubbornly, as he got up. "Together, Zack...we can do this together."_

_"Okay," Zack said with a nod, motioning to Cloud to take up a flanking position, dodging fireballs that the dragon hurled his way, deflecting some of them with the broad blade of his sword. "Shit!" Zack swore as the searing heat of the flames burned his blade, the handle becoming quite warm, too warm to hold, and he dropped it._

_The dragon stared down at him, no sign of life from its dull, black eyes, massive jaw locked in a cruel looking smile as it reared back, preparing to launch a fireball to finish Zack off once and for all._

_"No! Take me instead!" Cloud shouted, fierce blue eyes unblinking as the dragon whirled around, emitting a line of fire that lit the ground, catching the young cadet and setting him ablaze._

_"Cloud, no! No!" Zack screamed, the stench of burning flesh burning his nostrils as Cloud burned alive right in front of him. Zack sank to his knees, and found the handle of his sword, now cool. He picked up the weapon and ran toward the dragon, shouting out an old Gongagan battle cry as he caught the dragon in the belly with his sword, ripping the gut open as he pulled the blade up, then from side to side._

"No, don't be dead, Cloud, no..." Zack murmured, swatting at the hands that were on him, trying to smooth his sweat-soaked hair back from his forehead. Blinking his eyes, Zack awoke to a very worried looking Cloud, who was sitting next to him on the couch.

"Zack, I heard you yelling my name - are you okay?" Cloud asked, fingers trailing through raven spikes, his expression worried. "What happened? Bad dream?"

"Yeah...something like that," Zack muttered, blinking his eyes. As they readjusted to the bright light in the room, Zack smiled lovingly at Cloud. "Cloud...you're all right."

"Of course I'm all right," Cloud replied, trying to sound reassuring. "I mean, yesterday pretty much sucked, but I'm feeling a lot better."

"I'm glad," Zack told him, pulling him down and pressing his lips against Cloud's. "I was so worried, Cloud."

"I hate being such a burden," Cloud said, sighing. "But you remember what the doctor said, my prognosis is good. And if I go through with the Mako injections, it should make me even stronger."

Zack groaned, shaking his head. "Wish you hadn't brought that up first thing in the morning," he grumbled. "Like I said...I'm not happy about your decision, but it's yours alone to make, Cloud."

"I know," Cloud said dully, settling on the couch near Zack, curling up next to him. "I just want you to be proud of me."

"I _am_ proud of you, Cloud," Zack corrected him. "And you know that I am."

"But I could be so much _more_ , Zack," Cloud argued. "I want to be SOLDIER."

"You already are everything, at least to me," Zack returned, shaking his head. "I wish you could see that."

"I love you," Cloud whispered, laying his head against Zack's shoulder. "Don't be mad at me just because I have dreams."

"I'm not mad about that," Zack replied, hugging Cloud tightly. "I'd never keep you from your dreams! I just wish there was another way, other than injecting something into your body that might _kill_ you."

"I told you," Cloud continued stubbornly, "that it's a risk I'm willing to take." His lips set in a thin, determined line, and he was unwilling to budge on the topic.

"I'm not going to fight you on this anymore," Zack declared as he got up from the couch, stretching and yawning. "You know how I feel, I know how you feel, we're just never going to see eye-to-eye on this. If you're going through with it, I want to be there with you, when I can. To get the injections."

"Okay," Cloud relented. "I guess that's...reasonable."

"Good," Zack said, grinning at Cloud. He pulled the cadet into his arms again, capturing his lips in a passioned kiss. "Meet me in the shower," he said casually over his shoulder, as he turned away from Cloud and headed toward the bathroom.

Cloud felt that smile all through his entire body, particularly one very sensitive spot between his legs. "Uh...y-yeah," was all he felt capable of saying, as he stumbled along on rubbery legs, following a nude Zack into the bathroom.

 _Lucky_ , Cloud thought, smiling blissfully as he joined his lover in the shower, the hot water cascading down over both of them. _I am so damned lucky, never going to take any of this for granted._

* * *

Later on, Zack's cell phone rang - followed by Cloud's, both began ringing almost simultaneously.

"It's Kunsel," Zack said, glancing at the call display.

"Dill's calling me, looks like," Cloud observed on his own phone.

"Huh," Zack murmured distractedly, before answering the call. "Kunsel, what's up?"

"What's up, my friend," Kunsel replied, the cocky grin apparent just in his voice, "is that your sorry ass is going to Modeoheim."

"What?" Zack heard Cloud carrying on his own conversation nearby, with Dill.

"Modeoheim? Are you sure, Dill?" Cloud asked his friend.

"Wait, wait, hold on a sec, Kunsel," Zack said into the phone. "Cloud? What was that you just said, about Modeoheim?"

"Oh, we just got orders...some of us cadets, that is," Cloud replied, his blue eyes bright and eager. "Dill just checked his email, and I was on the same one. Seems a bunch of us are being sent to Modeoheim. Gods, one place that's even colder than Nibelheim - "

"That's where I'm going too, according to Kunsel," Zack replied. He returned to his phone call, nodding his head as he took in the orders that were being rattled off. As Cloud finished up speaking with Dill, Zack noted his orders and the particulars; they were to ship out in several days to Modeoheim in pursuit of Genesis, who had been spotted in the area. There was no mention made of Angeal, and Zack hadn't thought to ask whether his friend and mentor had been sighted.

Cloud ended his call with Dill and turned to Zack, eyes bright and full of excitement. "So, this is really great, huh?" he said, practically chirping. "Finally, we're on a mission together."

"You're going there too, sounds like?" Zack inquired, lofting an eyebrow. He worried about Cloud's readiness for battle, especially having been in the hospital, and vowed to ask him about it later, not wanting to ruin Cloud's good mood.

"Yeah, I'm really surprised," Cloud replied, shaking his head. "I mean, I was just in the hospital – I'm fine now, of course, but still, it's weird. Well, I have a few days of classes before we ship out, at least. It's not like they're sending us _today_."

"Yeah," Zack said, grateful that Cloud had brought it up and not he. "That's a good thing, it'll give you time to recover a little bit more." Zack frowned and bit his thumb as he paced a bit, his expression pensive; it bothered Cloud to see Zack appearing to be unhappy, enough that he decided to say something.

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked Zack, lightly touching his arm. "You seem so...serious. "

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Cloud," Zack replied, sighing. "It's just - well, for classes this week, I'll be filling in for Angeal and Genesis. It feels weird...wrong, almost. And I know all the cadets are going to have questions - questions about what really happened."

"Well, pretty much all of us saw the news broadcasts," Cloud told Zack. "When you and Tseng were MIA...they said that Angeal and Genesis were presumed to be KIA, but it sounded really kind of vague."

"That's because we didn't find a body," Zack replied, sighing. "And there's a lot of stuff the press doesn't even know, like what Angeal did to his mother." Zack stopped short at the shocked look on Cloud's face, and mentally headslapped himself. _Shit. He wasn't supposed to know that either, that's classified._

"What do you mean?" Cloud pressed, softly insistent. "What did Angeal do?

"Nothing, Cloud," Zack said quickly. "Nothing. I shouldn't have said anything to you, it's classified - "

"Oh," Cloud said dully. "I understand, I guess." He took a seat next to Zack on the couch, the SOLDIER clutching his head in his hands as if trying to squeeze something out of his skull, a pained sigh escaping his lips.

"Zack!" Cloud exclaimed, his level of worry and alarm increasing. "Talk to me! Tell me what's wrong, please...I want to help."

Zack raised his head, dropping his hands into his lap as his eyes, red-rimmed and bloodshot, met Cloud's. "You can't tell another soul, Cloud," he said hoarsely. "But if I don't tell someone what I saw - I think I'm gonna snap. It's not fair to lay this on you, though, maybe I shouldn't."

"Yes, you should," Cloud argued stubbornly. "How many times have you helped me to deal with things? It's my turn. I _want_ to help you, I _love_ you."

"I don't want to upset you," Zack insisted. He felt the need to unload this dark secret of what he'd seen, but he wasn't entirely certain how fair it was to unload it on Cloud, fresh out of the hospital. Zack pressed his forehead against Cloud's, and took a deep breath. This was too heavy, but Zack knew if he didn't tell someone, he might go mad.

"Maybe I should talk to Kunsel about this," Zack muttered, shaking his head. "It's...too horrible a thing to think about, really." Cloud shrank back at Zack's words as if they literally stung him; the thought that his lover would confide in Kunsel rather than him was almost too much to bear.

"Fine, if you want to go talk to Kunsel instead of me...go right ahead," Cloud sniffed, sulking. He knew he was acting childish, but he felt hurt by what he perceived as Zack pushing him away, and he didn't like it.

Zack's eyes widened when he saw Cloud's reaction, and he shook his head. "Don't be like that, Cloud," he pleaded. "Come here, please." He held his arms out to Cloud, beckoning him to sit. The cadet gazed at him sullenly, then sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said quietly, feeling suddenly ashamed. "I just want you to know...you can tell me anything. I'm not a baby." Cloud's chin jutted out stubbornly as he took a seat near Zack again, wrapping his arms around the broad shoulders and chest.

"I know, Cloud, and I'm sorry," Zack murmured, brushing his lips against Cloud's temple. "This is just something that's really hard to even think about...I don't even want to say it out loud." He sighed again, holding Cloud tightly. "It's...Angeal. When I went to Banora, and confronted him - oh gods, he killed his mother, Cloud!'" Zack just blurted it out, shaking his head, a single, angry tear escaping and rolling down his cheek. He hugged a shocked-looking Cloud even harder.

"Oh shit, I shouldn't have told you," Zack muttered, chastising himself. "I can see by the look on your face - "

"Zack, it's okay," Cloud replied. "Well - I mean, it's not okay. That is entirely messed up...it's not like Angeal. You're sure he did it?"

"Well," Zack said dubiously, stroking his chin. "He was standing over her body when I found him. And the body was still _warm_ , so it seems to be the logical conclusion."

"But you didn't see him actually _do_ it, right?" Cloud interjected. "I mean...it could have been an accident. Or maybe there's some other explanation...maybe Genesis did it?" That possibility was nearly as bad, Cloud realized, but not _quite_ as bad as Angeal murdering his own mother.

"I don't know, Cloud," Zack replied mournfully. "When I confronted Angeal about it - he didn't even defend himself. But one thing seems to be clear," he continued. "Genesis and Angeal have deserted - I can't believe I'm even saying that, but it's true, as much as I don't want to believe it." Both men looked at each other as each of their cell phones sounded with an incoming text. Zack frowned, staring at the screen.

"It's from General Sephiroth. Important briefing for all SOLDIERS and cadets who are slated to go on the mission, at three p.m. sharp," he read. Sighing, he put his phone back in his pocket, and faced Cloud.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Zack muttered.

* * *

The cadets and SOLDIERS assembled together in the training room; all of the Academy's instructors were there, Sgt. Flanard amongst them, and he waved to Cloud as he and Zack entered together. Cloud spotted Zane, and Dill at the opposite side of the room, and quickly waved to them. "I wonder where Quinn is?" Cloud whispered to Zack.

"She wouldn't be here anyway," Zack whispered in reply. "Female cadets are not allowed on combat missions, they can only be assigned for routine patrols, and peacekeeping missions."

"What?" Cloud snapped, shaking his head in disbelief. "I didn't know that. She is going to be pissed, that's bullshit, Zack!"

"I know it is," Zack agreed. "But Quinn's probably well aware of that fact, it's explained to any females who sign up, by the recruiting officer."

"Quinn is smart," Cloud argued. "Did you know she can field strip a weapon with her eyes closed? Do you know anyone else who can do that, male or female?"

"I don't," Zack admitted. "That's really impressive...you know, we really could use her kind of talent out there in the field. It's a stupid rule."

"Yeah," Cloud said, rolling his eyes. " _Totally_ stupid."

"How ya doing, kid?" Sergeant Flanard asked convivially, as the men took their seats. "You didn't look so good last time I saw you." Sephiroth stood up by the podium, looking around his audience coolly, not a hint of emotion on his face.

"Doing okay, thanks," Cloud replied in a whisper, smiling at Flanard. "And thanks for everything from before...when my room got blown up," he added appreciatively.

"Good," Flanard replied with a grin. "Glad to hear you're doing better. Oh, looks like the general's ready to speak. Wonder what he's going to say - " The room fell silent as Sephiroth began to speak.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen," Sephiroth began. "First...I'm sure all of you have seen the news reports regarding Generals Hewley and Rhapsodos. SOLDIERS have already been debriefed as to some of that classified intelligence the Turks gathered, along with Zack Fair's report." His gaze traveled over to Zack, who nodded, aware that every head in the place was turned, and all eyes were on him now.

"General Fair and Tseng recently returned from Banora Village, where they searched for the generals, who are now classified as MIA, and are both considered to be deserters, and traitors to the Shinra Army." Sephiroth paused; there were audible gasps heard all around the room. He gazed around at the worried and expectant faces for a moment before going on.

"Unfortunately, General Fair also witnessed Angeal Hewley murdering his own mother, Gillian Hewley," Sephiroth added. Even more gasps were heard around the room, around with much whispering. Zack opened his mouth to speak, staring in disbelief at Sephiroth. _That's not entirely true, and Sephiroth knows it! I gave him my statement...I didn't **see** anything..._

"Zack, you told me you didn't see Angeal do it..." Cloud whispered, as quietly as he could manage.

"I know," Zack replied gruffly, shaking his head. He glared at Sephiroth. "Why is he twisting things around like that? I didn't witness anything. I'm going to talk to him after he's done speaking," he said firmly.

"We will be transported to Modeoheim via helicopter, by the Turks," Sephiroth continued. "We will travel in two teams; each of you will be assigned to a team, the first transport out to be piloted by Reno, and Tseng will be taking the second team out shortly thereafter. Classes here at the Academy are cancelled indefinitely, gentlemen," Sephiroth said, his voice and demeanor grim. "We are at war, and I need every able-bodied man ready and willing to fight the enemy. Unfortunately, that is what Genesis and Angeal have become...our enemies. I do not take any pleasure in telling you this, they were not only my comrades...but also my trusted friends."

"You will be debriefed by either myself, or Director Lazard, depending upon what team you are assigned to, once we are dispatched. I will be traveling with the first team, and Lazard with the second. That is all for now...transport leaves on Wednesday at oh-six-hundred hours. Be there early, as we will leave promptly. Company _dismissed_!" Sephiroth barked, and quickly turned on his heel. Zack leapt to his feet and gave Cloud a pained look. "Don't tell anyone anything yet, Cloud. I want to clear this up with Sephiroth...I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," Cloud replied, a very uneasy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. _Why would Sephiroth lie like that? Was it for all...propaganda?_ He shook his head and began to file out with the other cadets, just as Dill and Zane approached him.

"What the hell was that!" Dill exclaimed, his eyes wide as he studied Cloud's face for his reaction. "Cloud…Angeal killed his mom, really? I can't believe it…

"Neither can I," Cloud said dryly, sighing. He craned his neck as he looked for Zack, who was quietly ushering Sephiroth aside. "It's…quite a shock," Cloud added honestly.

"It is," Zane agreed, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "You know, there's rumors going round that Angeal and Genesis….well, that they had something wrong with them."

"Something wrong?" Cloud echoed, a hollow feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. "What do you mean, something wrong? Like…were they ill or something?"

"Like they went nuts, because of too much Mako exposure, something like that," Dill explained. "It's just speculation, though," he added quickly.

"Too much Mako…" Cloud felt the blood drain from his face, and the bile rose up in his throat. Was it true? Had Cloud's mentors gone mad as a result of Mako exposure? _What if the same thing happens to Zack? Or…to me?_

"I might have to rethink things," Cloud murmured, drawing inquisitive looks from both of his friends.

"Rethink what, Cloud?" Dill pressed, looking concerned. He and Zane both knew that Cloud had been in the hospital recently following the Mako trials, but neither of them really knew the details.

"I have to fill you guys in, don't I," Cloud replied, sighing. "This could take a while…let's head back to the quad, we can crash at mine and Zack's place." It made Cloud's heart swell just a bit to say that

"I'm picking up some booze along the way," Dill said, grinning at Cloud. "Hey, don't look at me like that, we're not shipping out for a few more days, right? Zane, you cheap bastard, you could spring for the pizza, you know...that might be nice."

"Oh, _fine_ ," Zane muttered, shaking his head. Cloud laughed. It was nice to have this, some bit of normalcy with his friends, though part of him was still worried about what was going on with Zack and Sephiroth. He cast a glance behind him, but by now, Sephiroth and Zack were out of his view, having gone back into the General's office for some privacy.

"I probably shouldn't drink too much, guys," Cloud warned. "The Mako did a number on me, you know."

"Yeah, man," Dill replied, shaking his head. "I was worried when they took you out of there, you know." They'd reached the liquor store, and Dill paused, placing his hand on Cloud's for a moment.

"I was worried, Cloud," Dill said again softly. "I didn't think you were going to make it." His face flushed hot, and Dill quickly jerked his hand away; the redheaded cadet had been nursing a crush on Cloud for some time, but didn't quite realize the depths of it himself, until that day when he saw Cloud being rushed out to the hospital.

"Glad you're okay, anyway," Dill muttered, suddenly self-conscious; he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked quickly to the back of the liquor store, face down.

"Uh, thanks," Cloud replied, wondering why Dill was behaving so oddly around him all of a sudden. He was oblivious as to his friend's crush on him.

Zane observed the whole exchange and sighed. He knew just from the way Dill stared at Cloud during their classes, that his friend was smitten with him. _Cloud's with Zack, Dill...don't go there, man. Just don't._

"Who knew, that dealing with Quinn would be less trouble than dating a guy," Zane muttered, half to himself.

"What?" Cloud squeaked, barely paying attention.

"Ah, nothing," Zane replied, pulling out his cell phone. "Going to order our pizza and pick it up along the way...large combo sound good? Wait, maybe we need two...or even three, Dill's a pig."

"Sounds perfect," Cloud agreed, smiling as Dill came out of the store with his purchases.

"Got some beer, some wine...you can pick your poison, guys," Dill said, grinning widely. "Yo, Zane, call up your girl and invite her over too, if you want. And Cloud, Zack's welcome to come by later too, send him a text if ya want."

"Dill, we're going to be at _his_ apartment," Cloud reminded him, chuckling. "That's where I'm living now, I've got nearly all of my stuff over there from my old room."

"Oh yeah, I forgot...you guys moved in together," Dill said, with an air of indifference and a bit of jealousy. "So how's that going? Fucking like rabbits every chance you get?"

"Dill! Seriously..." Cloud muttered, embarrassed. "It's not like that..."

Dill giggled. "Hell, couldn't blame you if you did, right?" He glanced over at Cloud with a bit of longing, studying the strong jawline, the perfectly blond spikes, and felt his heart sink. _I just want something I can never have_ , he thought morosely, sighing. _I need to forget about my feelings._

"All right, off to Casa de Fair, then," Dill said with artificial cheerfulness.

"Stopping to get the pizza, first, " Zane reminded him. "It's on the way."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Sephiroth's office, Zack squared off against him, demanding answers, just as Kunsel barged in.

"Excuse me, sir," Kunsel murmured. "Didn't realize you had someone in here - "

"It's fine," Sephiroth replied dismissively. "It's only Zack."

"Hey!" Zack protested, then quieted himself as Sephiroth glared at him. "Sorry."

Sephiroth laughed. "I didn't mean it like that, Zack. I meant, whatever you have to say to me, can be said in front of Kunsel, I'm sure, unless you'd prefer for him to leave."

"No, he doesn't have to do that," Zack replied, growing more irritated by the moment. "He can hear this - he needs to hear this, really, and with all due respect, sir, so do you. I want to know...why did you let everyone think I saw Angeal actually murder his mother? I didn't actually _see_ it happen, you know. It's all in the report I gave you."

"I know," Sephiroth answered, leaning back in his chair as he folded his hands together. "Look...I needed something to motivate the troops. Many of the cadets are having a hard time with this, believing that their teachers and mentors have turned against us. Yet they have."

"So you lied, to get them all riled up and out for Angeal's blood, then," Zack retorted, frowning. "That isn't right!"

" _None_ of this is right, Zack," Sephiroth replied. Kunsel remained silent, raising an eyebrow at this, but was reluctant to say anything. Suddenly, Sephiroth turned to him. "Do you have anything to say, SOLDIER? What do you think?"

"I, ah..." Kunsel felt flustered, glancing back and forth from Zack to Sephiroth. He didn't disagree with Zack, not at all, but wasn't sure how to answer Sephiroth. "I don't know what to think, sir. Like you said...it's hard to believe Angeal is capable of such a thing."

"He's not," Zack insisted stubbornly. "He's not himself! Neither is Genesis. They're both sick, I think...Angeal says he's a monster - I'm not really sure what he means - "

"I do," Sephiroth interrupted. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a thumb drive. "Hollander's files. Regarding the Genesis copies...though his research goes far beyond simple cloning. This is classified, Zack - so please, no sharing this intel with your boyfriend." He lofted a silver eyebrow at that, studying Zack for a reaction, but Zack's gaze held firm, nodding as he took the drive from Sephiroth.

"Of course, I understand," Zack replied evenly, wondering how in the world he would even be able to _look_ at the file without Cloud seeing it.

"In a nutshell...some experiments were conducted upon both Angeal and Genesis," Sephiroth informed Zack. "So Angeal's assessment of himself...is not far from the mark.

"He's not a monster, Angeal is a _good_ man," Zack argued. He didn't know why he was pressing Sephiroth like this; it seemed clear that the General had already made up his mind about Zack's best friend and mentor.

"Angeal and Genesis are not what they seem," Sephiroth said cryptically. "Read the files, Zack. They are very...enlightening."

"Okay, I will," Zack replied, saluting Sephiroth.

"At ease, soldier," Sephiroth said in a silken purr. "Get some rest, Zack...and come by my office tomorrow morning, after you've reviewed Hollander's notes, please."

"Will do," Zack said, yawning. "Good night, sir. 'Night, Kunsel."

Kunsel nodded, and after Zack left Sephiroth's office, the general sprung up and locked the door, and pulled his window blinds shut. He was on Kunsel in an instant, hands groping underneath the Second Class soldier's uniform, crab-walking him back to his desk where he not-so-gently laid him down.

"S-Sephiroth!" Kunsel gasped, moaning as the general nipped at his neck, and rudely shoved a hand down into his pants.

"Mmm, you like that, don't you, my pet," Sephiroth crooned, flashing a smile at Kunsel. He snaked his tongue down Kunsel's neck, then eased his own clothing off, readying himself to take Kunsel just like that, right on top of his desk.

"Your - papers - " Kunsel stammered, legs wrapped around Sephiroth's waist, back arched as he encouraged his lover to go further. "they're falling - off of your desk."

"Fuck the papers," Sephiroth growled. He let out an animal roar, and Kunsel's emotions danced between passion, excitement - and fear, as the two coupled clumsily on the desk, Kunsel caught up in the excitement of knowing that someone could walk in at any moment and catch them in the act.

With no warning, or regard for Kunsel's own pleasure, Sephiroth finished, rolled off of him, then tossed the soldier a rag.

"Clean yourself up, soldier," Sephrioth ordered coldly. "Then follow Zack. I want to make sure he doesn't share anything he's not supposed to, with that little cadet he's shacking up with."

"Yes," Kunsel whispered sadly, the feelings of shame and loathing were nearly overpowering to him. _Why do I keep doing this to myself? He's using me...I'm letting him use me...and now he wants me to spy on my best friend. I can't do this...can't take this anymore._

Kunsel jerked his head back up as Sephiroth came back in the room. He smiled at Kunsel as if nothing was wrong, and walked toward him, running his fingers through the golden brown hair.

"I'm sorry if I was rough," Sephiroth said, a wicked smile on his face. "I promise, when we get to Modeoheim...I'll arrange for some private time. Nobody will know."

"But - " Kunsel began to protest, though he knew he shouldn't. It would fall on deaf ears, just as it always did. "I was hoping - "

"You were hoping for more, hm?" Sephiroth murmured. He shook his head. "Kunsel...I _do_ care for you. But understand, please - I am not in love with you. I don't believe I am capable of such a thing, not with you, nor anyone. This is all I can give you. If it is not enough, then perhaps this arrangement is not to your liking."

"It is," Kunsel said quickly. It was a half-truth, at best; the clandestine affair had certainly been passionate, but there was also something empty and unrewarding about creeping around in secret with someone who didn't even _love_ him. "I just - " He looked down sadly, staring at his unspent penis, and suddenly feeling absolutely worthless and alone.

"Oh, I am _so sorry_ ," Sephiroth purred, kneeling in front of Kunsel. "I was far too quick, I didn't realize - you weren't finished," and he descended upon Kunsel, who gripped Sephiroth's silver hair as he cried out in pleasure.

 _Okay. This...this is nice,_ Kunsel told himself. _I can live with this..._

 _But can I live with **myself**? _ Kunsel wasn't so sure anymore. Spying for Sephiroth was something Kunsel had done on a regular basis, ever since they'd started their torrid secret affair, but this was a new low.

* * *

Some time later, Cloud was well into a six-pack of beer, most of the pizzas were gone, and Zane and Quinn were about ready to excuse themselves to leave. Zane was worried about leaving Dill alone with Cloud - and rightly so. Both cadets were utterly drunk, and Dill looked to be getting a little bit too comfortable next to Cloud on the couch.

"I drank too much," Cloud moaned, leaning against Dill, who smiled.

"Please dun puke on me," Dill slurred. "Or th'couch. Izz a nice couch."

"Ah...we're going now, Zane's getting tired," Quinn announced, exchanging a concerned glance with him. " _I don't think we should go_!" she whispered to Zane.

" _I am sick of being his gods-damned babysitter_!" Zane hissed back, frowning. "Look...I've had a long day, you guys should get some rest too, hmm? Besides, isn't Zack coming home soon?" he asked pointedly. Nobody there knew, of course, that on the way back, Zack had stopped for a quick beer at the pub before heading home; he'd texted Cloud his whereabouts, but the cadet's phone was shoved in his backpack, the text left unseen.

"It _is_ a nice couch, innit?" Cloud slurred back, grinning stupidly at Dill. The door opened and shut as Zane and Quinn left, and neither Cloud nor Dill even seemed to notice. Dill inched a bit closer to Cloud, their thighs touching.

"I wanna make out with you on this couch," Dill growled seductively, or what he hoped was seductive. Cloud stared at him for a moment - then burst out laughing.

"Oh gods," he hooted. "For a minute there...I thought you were serious!"

Dill looked hurt. He turned to Cloud, and leaned in. "I was serious, Cloud," he said softly, his green eyes pinning Cloud's, suddenly feeling quite sober. "I'm in love with you."

"No," Cloud said stonily, the smile vanishing from his face. "No, don't say that, you're just drunk - you can't be - I love Zack, Dill, don't do this! You're my friend - "

"I want to be more than that, Cloud," Dill said, his fingers ghosting against Cloud's cheek. Cloud shrank from his touch as if were a white-hot branding iron. "And I'm not _that_ drunk. Please, just - just one kiss, Cloud. If you tell me you don't feel something too, well...then I'll let it go, I swear to Gaia I will." His voice was pleading as he leaned in, gazing lovingly at Cloud.

"I - I can't!" Cloud protested, inching away from Dill. _It's just a kiss, not really cheating, right?_ "I can't, it wouldn't be right."

"Can't I just hold you?" Dill said mournfully, a sob catching in his throat. "I swear, it's not the booze talking, Cloud. I realized how much I care for you when you were brought to the hospital. I was so fucking worried about you when I heard you'd collapsed - "

"I care about you too, Dill," Cloud said softly. "You're my friend. And I don't want to mess that up."

"It won't mess anything up," Dill said, his voice again pleading. "Please..."

"N-no..." Cloud murmured, but before he could even react, reflexes slowed by the alcohol, Dill's lips were brushing against his, and it felt _good,_ and he stopped resisting, Cloud just let things happen. It felt...nice. Dill's lips were soft, he was firm without being rough; hell, he even tasted good, Cloud thought, and instantly felt guilty over the thought. It wasn't like Zack or the way he kissed, but this felt wonderful. And Cloud felt terrible that he actually found himself enjoying the kiss, laden with guilt though he was.

"Mmmpf!" Cloud mumbled, Dill's weight on top of him now as they lay on the couch, Dill continuing the kiss with a semi-reluctant Cloud.

"Dill, please," Cloud whispered, breaking the kiss. He pushed the redheaded boy's shoulders up, and looked at him sadly. "Please stop."

"Cloud. I'm sorry...so sorry," Dill muttered, mortified. He smiled a sad smile and whispered, "Still friends, yeah?"

"What in the _hell_ is going on here?" came the unmistakable voice of Zack. He stood there, scowling at the two as they lay entwined on the couch, and quickly scrambled back into a sitting position.

"Zack!" Cloud exclaimed. "It's not what it looks like. Dill - well, he - "

"It's my fault," Dill confessed. "I've had a crush on Cloud for a while, and...I asked him to let me kiss him."

"And you agreed to this, Cloud?" Zack said coolly, arching an eyebrow at Cloud, arms folded over his chest.

"Not exactly," Cloud admitted. Zack's eyes bugged out of his head, and he moved toward Dill, grabbing him by the collar. "I swear by Ifrit's ballsack, if you forced yourself on him, you are dead - "

"He didn't _force_ himself on me, Zack!" Cloud interrupted. The two turned and stared at Cloud in surprise. "Dill wouldn't do that - he's my friend. I - I let him kiss me."

"Oh," Zack said, releasing his grip on Dill. He turned his back to Cloud, feeling like he was punched in the gut, and stared at the wall. "Did you like it?"

Cloud sighed, looking sadly at Dill. "It...was nice. But I'm in love with _you_ , Zack! The kiss...it didn't mean anything to me!" Dill made a choking sound and turned from Cloud, his heart in a million pieces.

Zack turned back around and headed toward the bedroom. "Really not in the mood to deal with this right now, Cloud," he muttered, glaring at him. "You get the couch tonight, pal. Talk in the morning." He stalked into the quiet confines of his room, and slammed the door shut. _Why, Cloud? Why in the hell did you do that?_ Zack sank down onto the bed and put his head in his hands. "I really do _not_ need any more bullshit today," he muttered to himself.

"I'd better go," Dill muttered, shamefaced. "I'm so sorry, Cloud - I really am."

"Yeah," Cloud said bitterly, shrugging his shoulders. "I know you care, Dill - I do too, it's just - "

"You're not in love with _me_ , you love Zack," Dill said sadly, smiling at Cloud. "It's okay, I get it. Just friends, then. See you around, Cloud."

"Yeah. Just friends. I'm sorry...that I can't give you more than that," Cloud murmured, resting his head against the doorjamb, his skull was beginning to pound from an awful headache. "See ya, Dill." Cloud shut the door and locked it, and turned his back to the door, biting his thumb as he leaned back, gazing into the apartment, which suddenly seemed to loom before him. It felt empty, even though Cloud knew Zack was in the bedroom. Cloud rubbed his arms as a shiver ran through him, and realized he'd need a blanket if he was to sleep on the couch.

 _Which means...I have to go back to the bedroom to get one_ , Cloud thought, muttering curses at himself for his own idiocy. _I can't face him right now, though, I just can't..._ Cloud settled on the couch, pulling his arms inside his t-shirt in an attempt to stay warm, but it quickly became obvious he wouldn't get comfortable without a blanket. Quietly, he tiptoed into the bedroom, and pulled a throw blanket off of the edge of the bed. Zack was tossing and turning, and Cloud held his breath, afraid he'd wake him up.

"Cloud," Zack said quietly, and turned over to face him. His face seemed lined, heavy, and the smile was gone from his eyes. "If it's too cold out there...you can stay with me. I just don't feel like talking about it right now, I'm tired - I've got a lot on my mind." He thought about the flash drive Sephiroth had given him, and worried about the data it might contain - and how to keep this from Cloud.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said in a small voice. He slowly and carefully slid under the covers, taking care not to get too close to Zack; it hurt his heart, really, knowing that he was intentionally keeping his distance now, because he had hurt Zack, even though he hadn't _meant_ to.

"S'fine," Zack murmured sleepily. "We'll talk...morning."

"Okay," Cloud whispered, drawing the blankets around him as he warmed himself in the soft bedding. "Good night...I love you."

There was no answer from Zack, and Cloud wasn't sure if it was because the soldier was asleep, or perhaps he no longer felt the same. _I just ruined everything_ , Cloud thought morosely, as he tried to quiet his mind and get some sleep. _Everything is ruined...and I didn't even do anything! This isn't fair..._


	14. Let Him Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dill nurses his broken heart, and finds comfort in the arms of someone unexpected.

_And there ain't no talkin to this man, he's been tryin to tell me so_   
_It took a while to understand, the beauty of just letting go_   
_Cause it would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that_   
_I'm gonna let him fly..._

**"Let Him Fly", Dixie Chicks**

* * *

Tears stung Dill's eyes as he stumbled out of Zack and Cloud's apartment, leaving the two alone to hopefully fix whatever damage had been done. Though Dill didn't think he'd done anything dishonorable by kissing Cloud, that look that Zack had given the cadet scared the hell out of him. _He wants to fucking kill me_ , Dill thought, in a sudden, horrifying moment of lucidity. The beer he had drunk that night with Cloud was still giving him a bit of a buzz, but the depressive effects of the alcohol were exaggerating his feelings of sadness and despair. _What the hell had I been thinking, anyway?_ The cadet admonished himself. _You know Cloud loves Zack, yet you went after him anyway. Shouldn't have done it, now you might have lost a friend, and pissed off General Fair to boot._

"Fucking idiot," Dill cursed himself, hands shoved into his pockets, head down as he drunkenly stumbled back into the quad, heading toward his quarters. He took a small bit of comfort in Cloud's last words to him - that they were still friends - though right now, Dill pretty much felt like a fool, and none too optimistic about anything. Dill was not even paying attention to where he was going, and suddenly slammed into a figure who had crossed his path; he reeled back, he hadn't even seen the person.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! - " Dill sputtered, shaking his head woozily. He stumbled back a few steps, glaring at the figure, all bleary-eyed, then Dill's stomach dropped as recognition set in. _Damn it. It's that Turk, the hot redheaded one._

"Watch where the fuck you're going!" a somewhat familiar sounding voice snapped at him. In the dim streetlight it appeared to be a man, not much taller than Dill himself, who squinted at the young cadet in the murky darkness, backlit only by a streetlamp shining from above. He stepped closer toward Dill, squinting, and the expression softened as recognition set in.

"Oh, Marquard...it's you," Reno addressed Dill by his surname, the Turk's, red hair catching a glint of light as he stepped forward a bit closer to the cadet. "The hell you doing out here drunk off your ass, man? You'll be in some shit if Sephiroth hears about this. He doesn't care if ya drink, but public intoxication is kind of frowned upon." Reno was feeling no pain himself; he was far from sober, having nursed a few belts of whiskey that evening before heading him, but he was not exactly stumbling around drunk the way Dill was. He paused, noting that the cadet seemed upset, and wondered what was wrong.

Reno had known who Dill was by sight - of course, the Turks knew who all the cadet were anyway, having run background checks on all of the prospective recruits prior to their enrollment at the Academy. Reno had also run into the cadet from time to time, mostly when he'd run into him at the local clubs or bars when they were out with their friends. He was suddenly struck by the unique color of Dill's hair - the strawberry-hued blonde was a nice contrast to his own bright red, and it reminded of someone Reno knew. And then, he remembered.

"Your hair...the shade, it reminds me of someone I know," Reno muttered, helping Dill to his feet. _Mama_. _Her hair was the color of fire and sunset...not that we ever saw much sun livin' below the plate._

"Huh?" Dill blurted, shaking his head . "Wha - what are you doing with me, where're we going?"

"Come on, yo," Reno said, only the slightest trace of a slur in his voice. "Gonna get us both sobered up. I had a few too many tonight myself. But, not as many as you, I'd guess." As Reno and Dill exchanged a glance, the Turk noticed how bloodshot the cadet's tearstained eyes were, and knew right away the teen had been crying. He looked away, suddenly feeling awkward, and cleared his throat.

"Ah, rough night, I take it?" Reno said lightly. They were about fifty paces away from an all-night diner which served decent and cheap coffee.

"You could say that," Dill muttered. He sighed, and glanced over at Reno. "You could also say...that I ruined everything, including my career."

Reno scoffed at this. "Ruined your career?" he repeated. "Come on, it can't be _that_ bad." But Dill did not reply, he only stared straight ahead, saying nothing. Reno opened the door to the diner and ushered Dill in, directing him to a quiet corner booth. "Two coffees, please," Reno told the woman behind the counter, as he eyed the dessert case. A smile lit his face, and he added, "Piece of that chocolate cake, too. With two forks." Reno took his seat in the booth facing Dill, and moments later the waitress came by with the coffees and cake.

The slightest hint of a smile began to work its way across Dill's face as he lifted one of the forks. "Cake? Really?" he said softly, the green hue of his eyes seemed unnaturally bright thanks to the single dose of Mako he'd received just the other day.

"Yeah, really," Reno replied, grinning. "Cake. Why not. And...if you need to talk or anything, I'm a good listener. Though Rude would argue with that, he says I talk too much and he can't get a word in - "

"Rude, your partner?" Dill queried, taking a mouthful of the cake, washing it down with the coffee. "He never says anything, though. Any time I see the guy, he's just - standing there, looking menacing, not saying a word."

Reno nodded eagerly at that. " _Exactly_!" he exclaimed, happy that someone finally got it. "It's like I told him - Rude, if you want to get a word in, you have to actually fucking TALK in order to do that."

Dill laughed. "That's funny," he said, chuckling. "My friends say I need to learn when to shut up, that I'm the one who talks too much." A frown appeared, and Dill sighed sadly. "And tonight is a perfect example of that. Cloud may never speak to me again - and Zack, I'm pretty sure he'd rather see me dead right now."

"Wait a second, yo," Reno interrupted, frowning. "Why would Zack want you dead? Dill, what the hell happened?" he pressed.

Dill rolled his eyes and groaned. "It's fucking embarrassing..." he began. "This might get around anyway, but I hope it doesn't...still, can you promise me you won't tell anyone else about this?"

Reno nodded. "I promise," he said solemnly, knowing of course that he would immediately tell Rude whatever Dill told him. _Turks don't keep secrets from each other, it's not in our nature,_ Reno thought ruefully.

"Okay," Dill replied hesitantly. "See...Strife and I got drunk tonight. And I got all stupid and told him I was in love with him."

"Oh _shit_ ," Reno murmured sympathetically. "What'd he say?"

"That he was in love with Zack," Dill said glumly. "And that he liked me as a friend but nothing more, yadda yadda..."

"Yeah, I've heard that same line before myself," Reno replied. _From none other than Zack Fair, but I ain't telling Dill that right now._

"I should have just let it go right then and there, but no, I made things worse," Dill went on. "I _kissed_ him. I kissed him, and I'm pretty damned sure he _liked_ it, but then Zack walked in. As I was kissing him."

"Oh man," Reno groaned, shaking his head. "That...well, that is pretty awkward."

"I know," Dill replied, poking at the last bit of cake with his fork. "You want the rest, Reno?"

"Nah, it's all yours, " Reno replied, knocking back the rest of his coffee. He signaled to the waitress for a refill, waving her over. "Another cup, Dill?"

The cadet nodded, pushing his mug over. "Yeah. Just one more," he replied. "Feeling better now. I mean, I still feel like a stupid asshole, but I don't think I'll have a hangover tomorrow. So there's that." Dill drank from the steamy mug, studying Reno intently over his cup of coffee. He looked good, looked _damned_ good, really, Dill thought. He'd given Reno the eye in the past, outright flirted with him too, that one time in the cafeteria, but nothing had ever come of it. Reno's eyes were fixed upon Dill's, lip quirking into the slightest hint of a smirk.

Suddenly, Dill felt like an idiot, mooning over Cloud, who was clearly in love with Zack. He could have anyone he wanted, he told himself. It was the booze talking, nothing more than that. _Do I really love Cloud? Damned if I know, but so long as he's with Zack, I'm not gonna have a chance to find out anyway._ "Hell, everyone warned me, you know?" Dill muttered, shaking his head. Reno looked at him quizzically. "Zane especially, he told me to forget about Cloud. Except...I couldn't."

"Because you thought you were falling in love with him," Reno said flatly, shaking his head knowingly. "I've been there, yo. I never told the guy I loved him - I just couldn't get the words to come out, but he knew I cared about him. But he was with someone else at the time."

"Our timing sucks," Dill blurted, then grinned. "Hey, thanks for listening, man. It really helped..." Dill reached into his pants pocket for his wallet, and Reno shook his head.

"Put that away," Reno insisted. "My treat, yo." As they got up and passed by the counter, Reno handed the waitress a twenty-gil note - at this late hour, she and the cook back in the kitchen were the only two left in the place. The woman protested mildly, smiling at Reno.

"You know your money's no good here, Reno," she said good-naturedly, though she was already tucking the money into her bra.

"And you work hard, Gracie, so don't you argue with me," Reno shot back, grinning. He put an arm around Dill's shoulders as he led him out.

"That your new gentleman?" Gracie asked as they left, causing both Dill and Reno to do a double take.

"Uh...no?" Reno said dubiously, blushing. _Shit. Awkward._ "He's ah, just a friend of mine," he muttered, suddenly aware of Dill's proximity to him, and how warm and flushed his face felt. Reno could already hear Rude's cautious advice not to get involved with a cadet, and Cissnei's teasing about Reno showing an interest in someone new. It had been a while since he'd dated someone, really.

"It's getting hot in here," Reno murmured, wanting to get out of there immediately. Dill snickered, though he too was blushing.

"I wouldn't mind, though," Dill said once they were outside in the cool night air. Reno exhaled loudly; his skin was heated and flushed from embarrassment, and he had to ask Dill to repeat himself, he'd barely heard him.

"...wouldn't mind what, Dill?" Reno said slowly, turning back to face him. Dill was damned handsome, Reno thought as he sucked in his breath, eyeing the lean frame; Dill was heavier of muscle than Reno was, but still thin. _They don't like it when Turks fraternize with cadets or soldiers, I gotta watch my ass with this one here,_ Reno warned himself. He thought it was a stupid rule anyway, the rule against fraternization, and it was rarely actually enforced; of course Reno had broken it more times than he could remember.

"I wouldn't mind...you know, being with you," Dill muttered, swallowing thickly. "Um, I mean...getting to know you better." He stared back at Reno, suddenly fearful that he'd said too much, or come on too strong too quickly. _And now, he'll think I'm rebounding - and maybe I am, but I also know what I want._

"I'm not going to be someone's sloppy seconds," Reno snapped, feeling insulted. "So Cloud isn't available, so what - you figure I'm second best?"

"I never _said_ that!" Dill shouted, green eyes blazing angrily. "You're _not_ second best! I happen to like _you_ , Reno, and I've been checking out your fine ass for a long time!" The two stood facing each other in the center of the quad now, huffing and puffing like prize bulls ready to charge each other.

Suddenly, Reno bent himself in half, and his entire body began shaking with laughter. "Oh gods," he sputtered, wiping his eyes as Dill joined him, giggling. "Shit. Dill - I'm sorry. I mean, yeah - I know we've hung out before a little bit, I just never realized you thought of me _that_ way."

Dill raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Well, maybe we should hang out more often." Reno returned the smirk as he pulled a cigarette from his pack and lit it, taking a drag, then held the pack out to Dill, offering him a cigarette. He stared at Dill from under heavy-lidded eyes and smiled seductively as the cadet took a cigarette and placed it in between his lips. "Got a light?" Dill murmured, grinning around the cigarette butt in his mouth. Reno nodded and leaned in toward Dill, eyes unwavering as he touched his own lit cigarette to the other one, igniting it.

"Maybe we _should_ hang out more," Reno agreed. His expression brightened, as an idea suddenly occurred to him, remembering from the background check he'd done on Dill, the cadet's interest in navigational computers. "Come on. Gonna show you my chopper. Unless you're tired?"

"Nah," Dill replied, shaking his head. "Wide awake. Must be all that diner coffee."

Reno grinned. "Must be." They walked past the quad, heading back toward the Shinra building, Dill was wide awake and excited, though at the same time, he wondered just what he was getting himself into with Reno.

 _I do like the guy, I honestly do,_ Dill thought to himself fretfully. _But maybe he's right, what if I am rebounding, after being rejected by Cloud? That's not fair to him...or to me. Maybe we just need to see how it goes?_ The cadet shrugged his shoulders and slogged along, keeping pace with Reno.

* * *

Sleep did not come easily for Cloud, plagued with guilt as he was. He tossed and turned, opening his eyes every ten minutes or so just to make sure Zack was still there. _Idiot, this is **his** place, he's not going to leave in the middle of the night, _ Cloud told himself crossly. _If anything, he might throw your ass out, and you'd deserve it, too._

Shivering, Cloud gathered the blankets around his chin, and nearly yelped when he felt a strong, warm arm wrap itself around his torso. "Zack?" Cloud murmured, glancing backwards at him.

"'Course it's me," Zack said sleepily. "Who'd you think it was, a Midgar Zolom?"

"Aren't Zoloms...slightly taller than you, Zack?" Cloud asked quietly, turning to face Zack.

"Only a little bit," Zack replied in a teasing tone. He let out a groan and a sigh, and pulled Cloud into his chest, lips grazing the top of his head. "I'm sorry, Cloud. Really sorry."

Cloud glanced up at Zack, gaping at him in astonishment. " _You're_ sorry?" he echoed. "For what? You didn't _do_ anything, Zack!"

"And neither did you," Zack replied plainly. "Cloud...I know you didn't mean for it to happen. If anything, I should be pissed at Dill. He's the one who came onto you."

"I really didn't know he felt that way about me," Cloud replied sadly. "I feel bad...I don't think I ever led him on or anything, he was just a friend."

"He's _still_ your friend," Zack corrected. "Just...if he makes you uncomfortable again, you let me know."

Cloud muttered a mild protest as he lay his head on Zack's chest. "I don't think that'll happen again. He was drunk, Zack - nothing more. You saw how embarrassed he was when you walked in."

"Yeah, don't remind me," Zack groaned, the scene replaying itself in his head immediately. "That...was awkward."

"It was," Cloud agreed. "just hope Dill doesn't act all weird, when we're on our mission together."

"That's coming up soon, babe," Zack reminded Cloud, sadness descending over him as he thought of his friend and mentor, Angeal. Would they find him, or Genesis, in Modeoheim? Zack kept hanging onto the slim and somewhat impossible hope that this was all some big misunderstanding; that Angeal and Genesis really hadn't deserted Shinra, that they hadn't turned into 'monsters', and that neither one had left a trail of bodies in their wake.

"Angeal is a good man," Zack said suddenly. "A _good_ man. And Genesis...well, I believe he is too, maybe he's misguided sometimes, but he has a _good_ heart. Cloud, it's all I have to hang onto, you know? The hope that we'll find them – both of them, and everything will be okay." It was foolish optimism at best, and Zack himself knew that, but thinking of the alternative – that Angeal and Genesis were monsters – it was unfathomable.

"I want to forget about last night, but I'm worried about Dill, too," Cloud confessed, sighing as he turned over in Zack's arms. "I want him to know I don't hate him or anything, I just don't have those kind of feelings for him. I love _you_ , Zack. Only you."

Zack grinned, and kissed Cloud, running his fingers through the thatch of blond spikes, making them stand up on end. "And I love you. Hey, you have the cutest bed-head in the morning, have I ever told you that?" he teased.

"Shut up!" Cloud protested, pretending to look hurt, though his pout soon turned into a wide smile. He reached behind him for a pillow and flung it at Zack, who rolled and dodged - then fell off of the bed onto the floor, laughing.

* * *

"So, this is my bird," Reno said, holding open the door of the helicopter for Dill. It was one of many helicopters in Shinra's fleet of aircraft, and was the one Reno often flew for personal use when given leave to do so by Tseng. "Well - technically it belongs to Shinra, but this one here is kind of my baby," the Turk added proudly, gesturing toward the passenger seat, encouraging Dill to sit.

"Nice," Dill replied, visibly impressed as he took his seat. " _Very_ nice," he stressed, grinning widely at Reno, who settled into the pilot's seat with a practiced ease, as if he'd always belonged there at the controls. Reno let out a little contented groan as he sank into the well-loved and familiar seat of his preferred helicopter, long, nimble fingers caressing the controls idly.

"So..we going anywhere?" Dill demanded, green eyes narrowing as he peered at the instrumentation panel. "Whoa!" he cried, chuckling. "Nice sat nav on here. I can build stuff like this, you know. I've been building computers and nav systems since I was a kid, back in Kalm. My dad's into that stuff, along with my brother Kiann."

Reno eyed Dill, grinning, but weighed his words carefully before replying. It wouldn't do to let the cadet know that Reno already knew all about his background and interests; it was a Turk's business to know such things about the new recruits. Nevertheless, even though Reno knew much more about Dill than the teen knew about him, he was intrigued and attracted to him, and wanted to know more than the simple facts he and Rude had dug up during their checks.

"You don't say?" Reno said lightly, inching just a bit closer to Dill. "That's cool. I suck with computers and shit, I just know enough to keep myself from getting lost in this thing," he continued, chuckling.

"Well, if you ever need computah help," Dill said, the Kalm accent creeping in, "I'm your man." He smirked with the utterance of the last word, blatantly flirting with Reno now as he leaned toward the Turk, lips slightly parted. The moonlight played off of the reddish stubble of Dill's barely-there goatee, and Reno sucked in a breath. He wanted to lick that spot, and as he moved in toward Dill, his hand fell onto the other's thigh.

"Oops," Reno murmured, not feeling one bit sorry at all. He felt his breath hitch as he kissed Dill, tongue playing along the other's lips.

"You taste good," Reno hissed, breathing hard. He was pleased to note that Dill was having the same difficulty.

"I thought you didn't want to be - " Dill stammered, panting. " - sloppy seconds."

"Forget about it. And I'm gonna make you forget all about _him_ ," Reno growled, pulling Dill into his lap. The cadet couldn't argue with that; he wanted to forget what had happened earlier that evening, though he of course felt a bit of guilt and worry that things were moving too fast with Reno; though he couldn't bring himself to stop, nor did he want to. Reno's hands slid up the cadet's hips as he kissed him, hard. _Gonna make myself forget about someone too_ , Reno thought to himself, losing himself in the moment, enjoying the sensation of holding someone, of being held. Reno broke the kiss briefly to come up for air and fixed Dill's eyes with his own. He jerked his head toward the back of the helicopter, motioning Dill to follow him.

"Come on," Reno said hoarsely, voice heavy with lust. "Let's move back here, more room in the back." He stared at Dill, as the cadet hesitated.

"Only if you want," Reno added. "No pressure, man. I just thought that you wanted - "

"I do," Dill interrupted, cutting Reno off. He got out of the passenger seat and made his way to the back of the helicopter, joining Reno. Dill's hand shot up and he threaded his fingers through the base of Reno's ponytail, pulling him in for a hard kiss.

"I do want," Dill whispered, laying down on a pile of blankets in the back - military-grade, Shinra issued blankets that were far from plush, but they were better than nothing.

 _Make me forget_ , Dill begged silently as he and Reno fumbled with each other's clothing in the dark, hands roaming everywhere. _Make me forget all about it...about him._ The cadet didn't really know what he was getting into with Reno, nor did he care; all that mattered was that it felt good, and Reno wanted him.

* * *

Some hours later, Rude went out on the tarmac to prep the helicopter for a test flight prior to the mission. Though the air outside was cool and dry, the Turk was surprised to see a sheen of moisture covering the windows of the helicopter. He ran a gloved finger over the surface, and noted that the condensation was coming from inside the chopper.

Then, Rude drew back quickly as a hand suddenly appeared, its imprint making a trail in the beads of moisture on the glass window as the fingers clenched, then drew down. Cautiously, Rude drew his weapon and trained it on the door of the helicopter. He cocked his head as he heard noises from inside; muffled talking and giggling.

"What in the hell?" Rude muttered, becoming rather annoyed. _Probably some damned cadets broke into the copter to screw around again_ , he thought irritably. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened, some kids hopping into the helicopter for a quick shag. Rude moved in quickly and threw the door open, eyes widening behind the dark sunglasses as he heard an indignant, and very familiar-sounding voice.

"Jeez, Rude! Fucking _knock_ first, for Shiva's sake!" Reno snapped, glaring at Rude as he emerged from the back of the helicopter, shirtless and disheveled looking, his face flushed. He grabbed the door handle and tried to slam the door in Rude's face, but was stopped by the Turk's shod foot in the door.

"Come on, Rude, give a guy a little privacy - " Reno muttered, hissing through his teeth.

"Who's in there with you?" Rude demanded. Reno didn't exactly think with his head - not the one that contained his brain, anyway, when it came to romantic conquests, and Rude wondered what his impulsive partner had gotten himself into this time.

"None of your damned business, Rude," Reno snapped, though Rude ignored him totally and peered past him into the cabin, where a red-faced Dill was hurriedly pulling on his clothing.

"Oh, for the love of Gaia, Reno," Rude muttered, rolling his eyes. "You brought a cadet here?"

"So?" Reno retorted, somewhat indignantly. "So _what_? We're both consenting adults here."

"I'm eighteen," Dill piped up, somewhat unhelpfully. "Just turned." Reno and Rude both turned to look at the cadet, and the bald Turk groaned.

"Seriously, Reno, haven't you learned anything since - " Rude began, but was cut off when Reno snarled at him.

"Don't say it, Rude," Reno snapped. "Don't even finish that sentence." _Don't say his name, he's the one I'm trying to forget...besides, he chose Cloud, anyway. Moving right the fuck along with my life now, hell with him._

Rude backed away slightly and sighed. He knew the subject of Zack Fair was still a sore one for Reno; it wasn't that long ago that the Turk and the SOLDIER first class had been close friends, closer than they were now, but the friendship grew strained and distant when Reno indicated he had feelings for Zack; feelings that were not reciprocated. Reno never took rejection well, and was still smarting over this, even though he'd insisted to everyone who knew him that he was fine.

"Where's Cissnei?" Reno asked, wanting desperately to change the subject.

"Patrolling Sector Eight," Rude replied, nodding at Dill as he emerged from the cabin.

"You must be Rude," Dill said, feeling a bit nervous in front of the imposing-looking Turk, but trying like hell not to let it show. "I'm Dillon Marquard."

"I know," Rude said simply. _Turks know who everyone is._ "I know who you are," he continued. "You're on the roster for the Modeoheim mission."

"Yeah," Dill replied eagerly, grinning. "A lot of us are going, it's my first real mission!" He smiled back at Reno, whose expression had grown quite serious.

"Rude," Reno addressed his partner. "Give me a few minutes alone with Dill, man. Please." Rude nodded at that, and walked away, giving Reno a bit of privacy.

"What's the matter, Reno?" Dill asked the Turk, turning to face him. "Something wrong?"

"Nah, nothing," Reno lied, trying to fake a weak smile. "It's just - " he began, then stopped. "Listen, me and Tseng are providing transport for you guys to Modeoheim, and we've got no idea what we're going into, you know - "

"I know, we've been briefed by Sergeant Flanard and General Sephiroth," Dill interrupted, feeling a bit surprised at Reno's concern. "Wait, you're not worried about the mission, are you?" he queried.

"Turks never worry," Reno said with a cockiness that belied how he really felt. He slung an arm around the cadet's shoulders in a protective gesture, though he tried to act casual about it. It was not love between the two men, not yet, but Reno was grateful for the physical contact. Though Reno had had his share of flings with men and women alike, he was also not the type to unceremoniously dump someone after becoming intimate with them. _Maybe we used each other a little bit tonight, yeah - but we're both fucking hurting. Maybe in some fucked up way, we kinda helped each other through some shit. Besides, I like the guy...he's kinda growing on me._

"Thanks for tonight," Reno murmured, planting a quick kiss by Dill's temple. "Wanna see you again, when this shit's over in Modeoheim, yeah?"

Dill brightened at that, and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like a plan," the cadet agreed. He glanced over at Rude, standing some several hundred feet away on the helipad. "He's not still pissed, is he?"

Reno laughed. "He's not pissed," Reno said reassuringly. "Turks look out for their own, that's all. You're good people, Dill, and I like you. That's all that matters." His expression sobered once again as he thought about the upcoming mission.

"Turks look out for their friends, too," Reno added firmly. "I've got your back in Modeoheim, Dill, you've got my word on that. I promise. Just make sure you stay sharp, listen to your C.O., and don't do anything stupid."

Dill smiled and nodded, though an unexplainable chill of foreboding ran through him. "I know," he replied, shivering. "And thanks. For...everything."


	15. Tears In Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and his comrades find themselves under attack in Modeoheim, and some lives may be at risk.

Several days later, the troops were prepped and ready for the mission to Modeoheim. Dill was up bright and early that day, meeting up with Cloud on their way to the helipad. "Hey, uh, sorry about everything that happened, I hope I didn't mess things up with you and Zack," he said apologetically, feeling utterly sheepish and embarrassed at the drunken pass he'd made at his friend. Cloud smiled reassuringly. "It's fine, Dill," he told his friend. "You're my friend; I know you didn't mean any harm. Honestly, I was flattered, really. But I'm - "

"You're in love with Zack, I know," Dill replied, interrupting him. He smiled. "You can't help who you fall in love with," he added, eyes following a certain redhead who had just appeared near the helicopter, making his last minute checks before their flight.

Cloud caught that look, realized how Dill was staring at Reno, and was about to say something when Zack came over, asking them something about the mission. "Here comes Zack now, we'd better look sharp," Dill whispered to Cloud. "Thanks, man. For understanding, I'm glad we're still friends."

"Don't mention it," Cloud said. "Of course we're still friends." They made their way over to the rest of the group, just as Reno was climbing out of the helicopter, performing some last minute checks. His eyes locked with Dill's, and Cloud caught Reno grinning at his friend.

"You know Reno, Dill?" Cloud commented curiously. Everyone knew who Reno _was_ , of course, he just hadn't realized that Dill was all that friendly with the man.

Dill smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah. We've gotten...pretty close lately. Uh, just hanging out and stuff. You know. Casually." He smiled back at Reno nervously, and Cloud grew even more curious about the interaction between the two. The glances exchanged between Reno and Dill were downright smoldering. Cloud began to wonder if he was just being silly, perhaps it was his imagination.

"Yo, I need some help getting the chopper loaded," Reno said, wiping his hands off on his pants as he sauntered over. "Zack, can you spare one of your guys to help me out? Maybe Marquard, here," he added, throwing Dill a mischievous glance.

"Sure thing, Reno," Zack said, oblivious to the subtle flirting and tension between Dill and Reno. "Dill, can you finish loading up our gear? There's not much left to do, really, we got some of it done earlier this morning."

"Yes, sir!" Dill replied to Zack, saluting him. Once out of everyone's view, Reno pulled the trooper behind the helicopter and kissed him. Dill grinned slyly at Reno as he helped him load the last few items into the chopper, melting into the stolen kiss. The knowledge that they could get caught doing something like this that was strictly forbidden made it all the more thrilling, coupled with the fact that it was a newfound, unexpected attraction between the two, something that had blossomed out of nowhere in the past week they'd been seeing each other.

"I missed you this morning, Reno," Dill told him quietly. He'd spent the night in Reno's quarters, the Turk getting up hours before Dill had to in order to prep the chopper before their flight. They were also being very careful about being seen together, not quite ready to make their romance public just yet. Dill pressed something small and round into his lover's hand. He grinned as Reno opened his hand, revealing a pendant made of fire materia. "I want you to wear it, that way even when we're separated out in the field, part of me will be right next to your heart," Dill whispered. He chuckled softly before stealing another quick kiss. "Doesn't mean we're _engaged_ , you know. Just...I don't know when we'll get another moment alone together once we set off to Modeoheim."

"Yeah, but when we get back..." Reno began, then smiled. "I'm taking you out on the town when we get back, yo. A real date, we'll go out to dinner someplace nice."

"Dinner sounds good, just you and me. When we get back!" Dill called softly to Reno, grinning and waving before he ran back toward Cloud and the other cadets who were preparing to board.

Nobody had seen the stolen kiss, except for Cloud. There was no time to ask Dill about it, nor was it appropriate to say anything to Zack, who was busily ordering the troopers to board the chopper, Sargent Flanard herding the men together as well. Soon, everyone was on board, their gear stowed, and Reno pulled his headset on, nodding to Rude who had taken the co-pilot's seat.

"Everybody in?" Reno called, and Zack replied affirmatively.

"Ready when you are, Red!" Zack replied, giving a thumbs-up sign.

"Okay boys, we're off," Reno announced, lifting the helicopter off the ground. "Flight time will be about an hour, just lean back and enjoy the ride."

* * *

"Is Marquard back there?" Rude called brusquely from the cockpit. "Need you on sat nav up here!" Dill gave Cloud a glance then nodded, making his way up front. Rude exchanged seats with him, letting Dill take the co-pilot seat next to Reno. He put on a headset and gave Reno a small smile as he sat in front of the instrumentation panel, heart pounding from a combination of nerves and excitement. So close to his lover, yet neither could let on that they were together, it was _killing_ Dill.

"Dense fog up ahead, sir," Dill remarked, "Switching to infra-red." As Dill guided Reno through the fog, over the mountain pass, Cloud nudged Zack ever so slightly, and smiled a secret smile at him. He knew Zack was right, about Dill and Reno's little secret, and wondered just when the two had realized they had feelings for each other.

Cloud shivered slightly, and as the helicopter lurched, so did his stomach. "Oof...not...feeling so good," he mumbled, utterly embarrassed that his motion sickness was kicking in again on a mission. Zack smiled sympathetically at the trooper, and handed him a bottle of water. "Here you go, just sip it slowly," Zack said, trying to ease Cloud's mind. He knew all too well that Cloud was likely annoyed at himself for something he couldn't really help.

"This is so embarrassing," Cloud muttered. "I wonder if I'll ever get used to this...flying and stuff. I never flew until I joined Shinra."

"It's fine," Zack said, clapping Cloud on the back. "You just have a sensitive stomach. And you are not the only one in Shinra that this has ever happened to, far from it."

"Well, that's good to know," Cloud mumbled, sipping the water and taking deep breaths, trying to soothe his stomach. "But I'm probably the only one who ever threw up on your shoes at an amusement park, right?"

Zack laughed aloud, recalling their somewhat disastrous date. . The helicopter banked slightly then righted itself, as Reno ran into a small pocket of turbulence, though he quickly regained control of the chopper. "Maybe," Zack said teasingly to Cloud.

Dill watched Reno with some admiration as he skillfully and carefully set the helicopter down, as gentle as a leaf on the wind despite the stormy conditions outside. "Nicely done, babe," Dill murmured, then blushed madly at the slip. He glanced around furtively to see if anyone else had overheard him; Sargent Flanard who was commanding the troops was in the back of the cabin, and seemed more preoccupied with readying the men and making sure they had their equipment before disembarking. Zane, however, had heard, and inwardly groaned. _Damn it, Dillon_ , he thought, shaking his head, worrying slightly about his impetuous friend. _You never learn, do you? Flirting with a Turk now, in the middle of a mission._ Of course, Zane didn't know the whole story there; Dill hadn't whispered a word of his liaison and subsequent relationship with Reno to anyone, not even his roommate Zane. Outside of Reno and Dillon themselves, Rude was the only other one on the current mission who knew what the two meant to each other.

"Sorry about that!" Dill whispered to Reno as he got up. "Nice bit of flying, though," he added with a smile. Dill grew slightly alarmed when he saw the greenish tinge to Cloud's face; he was still sitting, and had just put his head between his knees, Zack standing nearby. Dill went over to his friend, concerned, and handed him a bottle of water.

"Is he going to be okay?" Dill asked Zack, a bit worried. "That was kind of a rough bit of air we hit there."

Zack nodded, and then smiled at Cloud. "I'm sure you'll be fine, right Cloud?" he said, trying his best to sound supportive and cheerful. He knew very well how much it bothered and embarrassed Cloud, the fact that he was so affected by motion sickness. Zack really hoped it was something Cloud would overcome after he'd been on a few missions.

Dill nodded sympathetically. "I'll look out for you Cloud, don't worry," he said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. Those words were ones that would haunt Cloud much later on when they would meet up with an enemy near the warehouse.

Meanwhile, Rude and Reno were shutting down the chopper, the bald Turk giving his partner a knowing look. "Be _careful_ , Reno," was all he said. He knew that Reno would know exactly what he meant by that.

"Don't worry, yo," Reno muttered under his breath to Rude, rolling his eyes. "I _am_ being careful with him."

Rude gave Reno a _look_. "Yeah, Reno," Rude said, lowering his voice. "You're so subtle you left your...things in the back of the helicopter, from that night I caught you in here." As Reno looked at him blankly, Rude sighed impatiently. "Never mind. I took _care_ of it for you," he said, shutting his mouth as Flanard came over.

"All right, men," the Sargent said, addressing the troopers. "Zack, I'll need you on point; Weingarten, Marquard, Ballard, and Strife, flanking positions, please. I'll cover everyone from the back. Let's check our equipment, and then fan out. Genesis copies have been spotted nearby, using the warehouse for cover. Be on high alert, men. That is all."

As the soldiers and troopers separated from the Turks, falling into line as they marched away from the chopper, Dill turned back one last time, waving his hand and giving Reno a dazzling smile, excited to be on his first real mission. He caught up with Flanard, who frowned.

"Keep in step, Marquard," he said sternly. "This is not a drill. This is the real deal."

"Yes, sir," Dill replied obediently, nodding his head. "I'm _ready_."

* * *

Cloud, Zack, Dill, Zane, Sargent Flanard and the other troopers made their way slowly over the snow-covered hillside, heading into Modeoheim. Dill's eyes narrowed as he studied the tree line, the swirling snow making it hard to see. He saw a flash of red dart by, and hissed a warning to his fellow troopers. Whatever it was, had taken cover behind the warehouse.

"Sir, I think I've spotted someone," Dill called to Flanard and Zack. "I believe it's General Rhapsodos, straight up ahead, they ducked behind that building - " The men proceeded forward, slowly and cautiously.

"Careful, men," Sargent Flanard warned. "It could be a copy, or it could be Genesis himself, in either case he is considered to be armed and dangerous. We shoot to kill." Cloud felt his stomach clench at those words, and exchanged a glance with Zane and Dill, nodding. _One of our own, and we may have to kill him_ , Cloud mused, frowning. It wasn't a pretty picture, even under the guise of 'just following orders.'

Suddenly, a clattering was heard from the corrugated metal rooftop, and the Genesis copy leaped down upon them, a fireball forming in the clone's hand. The copy grinned a hollow grin - this was _not_ Genesis, even though it looked to be a carbon copy of him physically.

The copy's hand was poised and ready to launch a ball of fire right at the troops, aiming directly for Cloud. "No!" Dill shouted, leaping forward, pushing Cloud onto the ground, dropping his rifle as he did so. "Shit - " Dill muttered, fumbling for his weapon. The other troopers, and Zack and Flanard moved quickly to try and cover Dill and Cloud, but were seconds too late - the copy flung the fireball directly at Dill's chest, following that with several quick bolt spells, before Flanard ran the copy through with his sword, killing it. The Genesis copy staggered a few steps, and then fell to the ground dead.

Cloud was pinned underneath Dill's dead weight, tears springing to his eyes as he realized what his friend had done for him. "Zack - Weingarten, please, help - " Cloud sputtered. "He's bleeding!" Cloud shouted, realizing his uniform was soaked with Dill's blood. "We need a phoenix down!" Weingarten fumbled in his gear bag and produced the tuft, letting it fall upon Dill, hoping they were not too late to revive the dying young man as Cloud gently pushed Dill up, and getting out from underneath him.

Zane scrambled as he dug into the first aid kit, pulling out a wad of gauze, unfallen tears causing his vision to become blurry. Hands shaking, Zane produced gauze and bandages, applying direct pressure over the gaping wound. He gave Dill a weak smile, but Zane knew his attempts at first aid would be futile at best. There was just too much blood, already it was pooling up through the gauze, Zane's hands growing slick with the crimson fluid. Zane swallowed the bile that was threatening to come up, and called out to Cloud. "My kit, Cloud...more gauze, can you get it?" His eyes were hollow as they locked with Cloud's sad gaze; both young men seemed to realize now that all the gauze in the world was not going to help their friend, if the Phoenix down hadn't worked what _would_?

There was a hole blown right through Dill's breastbone and chest cavity, and he'd lost a massive amount of blood, the constant flow showing no signs of stopping. The phoenix down, though administered properly, did not seem to be having any affect whatsoever on Dill. Panicking, Flanard radioed the Turks immediately. "Marquard's down! We need help!" he shouted into the radio. "Bring FullCure materia if you've got it!"

Blood bubbled up from Dill's lips as he grabbed onto Zack's arm. "Z-Z-Zack," Dill gasped with his dying breath, eyes wide as he struggled to speak. "T-tell Reno...that I love him. And that I'm...sorry..." His eyes bugged out as the life began to leave him, and Dill suddenly seemed to realize that Cloud and Zane were attending his wounds.

Zack's eyes widened in horror, and Cloud edged over, kneeling over his friend and taking his other hand. "Dill, no!" Cloud cried tearfully, shuddering as Dill weakly tried to grab his friend's hand.

"Cloud. I'm so sorry, I..." Dill murmured, body seizing as he coughed up a clot of blood. Hey Zane...buddy. Guess...you can have my laptop, man. And...my MP3 player."

"Stop talking like that," Zane snapped, wiping his eyes. "I don't want your shit. I want you to stay with me, until we can get you back to Midgar General - "

"Too late...'s too late, Zane," Dill whispered. "Reno...I need...Reno," he gasped.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cloud saw a crimson blur as Reno flew toward them, he'd bolted into a run as soon as he and Rude had gotten the call for help on their radio. He'd seen enough casualties of war during his years as a Turk to realize that Dill was in his last moments. They'd barely gotten to begin their clandestine relationship, and now it seemed clear that it would be meeting an abrupt end.

"Leave him to me," Reno said rudely to Cloud, shoving him out of the way, gently pulling the dying, and bleeding body of his lover into his lap as he sat on the ground. the useless gauze pads stuck to the open wound in Dill's chest. Cloud opened his mouth to protest, then caught Zack's eye; the soldier closed his eyes and shook his head _no_. It was clear now to all present, that Reno and Dill had been more than just friends.

"No, Dill, _no_ ," Reno murmured, fingers running over his bracer, activating the FullCure materia nestled within. "Don't you die on me, don't you fucking _dare_!" he said, voice shaking. Reno knew that it was too late for the materia to do any good; if the phoenix down hadn't revived him, neither would this.

"I'm sorry, Reno," Cloud whispered, the other troopers coming forward as well to offer their condolences. "I - he was a good friend."

"Damned right he was a good friend," Reno spat angrily, glaring at Cloud. "He took a fucking _bullet_ for you. Would have made...a hell of a SOLDIER," Reno added, his voice breaking. "God damn it, Dillon," Reno whispered. His black uniform pants were soaked with his lover's blood, there was so much of it.

"I'm sorry, partner," Rude said quietly. "I know you cared for him. I'm just...sorry. Anything you need, you know I've got your back." He meant that in the literal sense, too, Rude was still on high alert, as were Flanard and Zack, still scoping the area for any more signs of the enemy while the troopers tended to their fallen comrade.

Reno nodded, unable to speak. Dill's fingers slipped from Reno's as the life began to leave him, and he looked up to Reno with clear green eyes the color of spring grass.

"Come closer," Dill whispered, his breathing a sick sounding shallow rattle by now. Reno, still kneeling, moved in even closer as Dill weakly drew his hand upward, pulling Reno down for a soft, final kiss. The Turk could taste the blood on his lips, and the tears began to flow, tears born of anger and sorrow, rage over his lover dying so unnecessarily.

"I know I shouldn'ta done that," Dill murmured apologetically. "I know...we had to keep it quiet, but I had to let you know before I go, Reno...how much you meant to me. I loved every moment I spent with you...ow, fuck, hurts to talk," he said, head slumping to the side.

"Me - me too, Dill," Reno whispered, arms tightening around his lover as the body stiffened, and with one last agonized cry, the life left him, body going limp in Reno's arms as the Lifestream tried to welcome Dill's spirit. It would no longer be needed on this plane, and would be returned to the planet from which it came. Stubborn to the end, Dill refused to give up the ghost. It was a battle of wills between the forces of nature, and Dill's indomitable spirit.

Dill's body was dead, but his strong and fiery spirit lived on, not quite ready to return to the Lifestream. He watched from above, wanting to reach out and hold Reno tight, to tell him that everything would be okay. It hurt Dill to see Reno grieving so deeply, though he knew he'd be doing the same if the situation were reversed. Summoning all of his spirit energy, Dill threw the ghostly arms of his spirit form around Reno's neck, brushing his lips against the redhead's ear. It would feel like nothing more than a sudden cold breeze rushing against Reno's body, but he would notice it.

" _I feel you, Dill_ ," Reno whispered to the wind, standing up shakily. " _I know you're there. Thank you...for everything_." Reno turned to Rude, and nodded.

"Tseng and Lazard should be landing soon," Reno muttered, immediately immersing himself back into the mission. Keeping himself on track would help him to work through the grief, fresh though it was. "Going to head back to the landing site and radio them, find out their ETA. Keep an eye on shit here, Rude. Since Strife can't manage to stay out of the way, don't want to lose anyone else covering his ass," he added bitterly before storming off.

"Reno...that's uncalled for," Zack retorted, but Rude held up a hand, shaking his head.

"Don't," was all Rude said. "He's hurting right now. Just...let him be."

Zack nodded, sighing. "I know. Rude...please, give him my condolences, when you talk to him again. Dillon was a good man. I was proud to have him in my platoon."

"I'll tell him," Rude replied with a grunt, jerking his head toward the warehouse. "Saw something over there. We need to run a perimeter."

"On it," Flanard replied immediately. He waved his hand, calling the other troopers over, everyone still shell-shocked over Dill's sudden death. "Weingarten, Ballard, Strife...flanking positions again. Zack and I will cover."

"He's right, you know," Cloud said miserably to Zane as they fell into step behind Flanard and Zack; the blond was completely broken up over the loss of his friend, and feeling horribly guilty knowing that Dill died just to save him. "This is all my fault." He set his jaw firmly, blinking away the tears.

Zane sighed wearily, still covered in Dill's blood as he took up his rifle again. "Stop it," he snapped. "I don't blame you, and neither would Dill. He didn't exactly think before he fucking jumped in front of you - but that's how he was," Zane swallowed around the hard lump in his throat. "Impetuous until the end."

"Yeah," Cloud whispered, determined now to see that Dill's death would not have been in vain. He checked the action on his rifle, and narrowed his eyes, focusing on the area Rude was pointing out. He couldn't see anything, not yet, but there was a sense that someone was there...watching, and waiting. Zack had fallen back, waving Cloud over; he was worried about him, not only because they were lovers, but also because Zack worried if Cloud was going to be able to keep it together for the sake of the mission.

"How you doing so far?" Zack said quietly. "I know it's been rough, man. But we have to press on, still got a mission to do here, you know."

"I know. And I'm going to kill every last gods-damned Genesis copy there is," Cloud vowed angrily. "I won't let Dill have died for nothing, Zack," he added quietly, as they continued advancing, cautiously checking out the perimeter of the warehouse.

"Revenge won't bring Dill back, Cloud," Zack whispered. "Don't lose sight of our objective, and don't lose your head. I don't want to have to say goodbye to you _too_ , Cloud," he added grimly.

It was enough to make Cloud take pause, and think for a moment. "You're right," he finally agreed. "I know you're right, Zack," Cloud said. "I just - feel like I need to do something, anything. Reno hates me now, and I really don't blame him. I wonder when they started seeing each other, though? Dill never mentioned anything...I can tell how much Reno loved him." He shrugged his shoulders. "It was just a surprise, that's all."

The troops made their way, forming a perimeter around the warehouse as Dill's spirit looked on, watching them from above, ready to guard them from further harm if he possibly could, even from where he now, trapped between the world of the living and the dead.

Zack crept forward, sword in hand, eyes narrowing as he entered the warehouse; he swore he could hear voices inside. _Sounds like...Hollander?_ His eyes widened as the familiar sounding voice finally registered. _What the hell is he doing all the way out here in the middle of nowhere?_ Clutching his sword, Zack continued to advance, signaling to Flanard to hold back along with the troops. Zack peered around the corner, his eyes zooming in upon a familiar auburn-haired figure, holding a struggling figure in his grasp, one clad in a white laboratory coat.

As Zack entered the facility, the redhead looked up, a smirk on his face. "Well, Zack, how nice of you to join us here," Genesis drawled in a bored, aloof tone, drawing out his rapier. He held the edge of it against Hollander's neck, the scientist struggling weakly. "You're just in time for Hollander's final act!"

"Genesis, let him _go_!" Zack shouted, raising his sword. Genesis merely raised an eyebrow in response, rolling his eyes.

"And why should I do _that_ , Zack?" Genesis replied airily. "The good doctor here has much to answer for, don't you?"

"Let go of me, please!" Hollander pleaded. "I never meant any harm!" Genesis laughed loudly, then shoved Hollander roughly away, causing the man to fall to his knees.

"Never meant any harm, hmm?" Genesis said with a sneer. "All under the guise of 'scientific research, eh? Oh, such a noble cause, Professor. Turning ordinary humans into monsters for the betterment of society!"

"It was for the greater good," Hollander muttered. "I cannot help it if you are a failed experiment, Genesis."

"Oh, I have not failed, Doctor," Genesis said calmly. "I know how to stop this degradation. I know now, what it is that I seek." Zack gaped, Genesis was sounding quite mad, and Hollander was doing a rather poor job of defending himself.

"Genesis, this ends _here_ ," Zack shouted, charging forward as he raised his sword. Hollander quickly rolled out of the way as the two clashed.

"It _will_ end, Zackary, yes," Genesis replied, snarling. "Not very well for you, I am afraid...foolish puppy."


	16. Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer: I do not own anything except my OC's. Any lyrics quoted within are properly attributed to the artist.
> 
> In this chapter: The confrontation in Modeoheim comes to a head.
> 
> OC's used in this chapter include: Zane, Solveig, Weingarten, and Flanard.

* * *

 

_The sadness_   
_How it brings me down_   
_I know I have no choice_   
_Is it wise? Taking a life?_

**"Prayer" - Hyde**

* * *

Zack frowned at the utterance of the 'puppy' nickname; once upon a time this had been said to him in a joking, teasing manner by Genesis. Now, it was clearly meant as a cruel taunt by the Banoran General.

"Genesis, what are you doing!" Zack sputtered indignantly. "You're better than this, you're SOLDIER! Have you lost your damned _mind_?" He raised his sword again, meaning to show Genesis that he was serious, but the redhead merely chuckled, not feeling threatened in the least.

"Lost my mind..." Genesis echoed, looking thoughtfully down at Hollander's flushed face. Genesis had his rapier pointed at Hollander's throat. "I suppose I have lost my mind, Zack...just a bit! Then again, I think we're all quite mad here," he added, grinning maniacally at Hollander.

"Release him," Zack growled. " _NOW_." He heard the movements of the other troopers and Sargent Flanard nearby, and Genesis sensed their presence as well, despite their best attempts to conceal themselves.

"Who's going to make me?" Genesis taunted, sneering at Zack. "You and what army? Oh...you mean _this_ pathetic bunch? Surely you can do better than _that,_ Zackary. Cloud is here, is he not? Oh Cloouuuud!" Genesis called out in a mocking, derisive tone. "I heard about your little mishap in Hojo's lab. Congratulations on being a 'failed experiment' just as I am! You are part of a very special club now." Zack glared at Genesis upon hearing the jibe.

Cloud's head jerked up at the mention of his name, and Zane, still covered in his best friend's blood, hissed at the trooper, warning him to stay back. "Don't let him get to you, Cloud. He's trying to flush us out, don't give into it!"

" _Cover Zack...I'm going around back to take out Rhapsodos_ ," Flanard whispered to the troopers as he broke away from the group, doubling back around the warehouse, intending upon sneaking in through the loading dock area and ambushing Genesis. Flanard's plan was a sound one - or would have been, had Genesis's keen, enhanced hearing picked up on the sergeant's stealthy movements.

Hollander wriggled in Genesis's grip; he had an arm around the scientist's throat in a head-lock, dragging him further into the warehouse, toward the edge of a railing. Zack advanced as Genesis backed up, hoping to corner him - and hoping to make him surrender.

"There's no way out, Genesis," Zack said evenly, raising his sword to shoulder level. "Now let Hollander go," he commanded. While Zack didn't exactly care for the man either, he had a duty to protect him from Genesis, who had clearly gone mad.

Genesis laughed again, though the sound was a bit weaker this time. Zack began to wonder if the SOLDIER's strength was leaving him. He certainly didn't look well; signs of degradation were now apparent, Genesis' hair, once a deep auburn, was now streaked through with silvery strands, and his face had taken on an ashen, sickly color. "If only you knew what the dear doctor has done to me...and to Angeal! Oh, he's made your best friend into a monster, Zack. Isn't that right, _professor_?" Genesis demanded of Hollander in a mocking tone.

Zack narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "What the hell are you talking about?" he snapped. Nothing was making any sense anymore, though Zack knew that both Genesis and Angeal had been altered, somehow, he didn't yet know the details.

"Only the _great Sephiroth_ can be the hero, hmm?" Genesis said scornfully, pushing Hollander down onto his knees on the floor. "The world needs another hero!" He raised his rapier over his head, when suddenly Zack spotted Flanard coming around behind Genesis.

"You are not a hero, not yet...not like the others!" Hollander cried out, raising his arm over his head to protect himself, cowering as he pleaded with Genesis. "Let me help you, Genesis, you could be so much more...please! Have mercy!" He looked and sounded so pathetic, Zack realized, then cried out a warning to Flanard as Genesis sensed the man's presence there, and spun around, slashing out with the rapier.

"Flanard! Watch out!" Zack shouted, but a moment too late. A bolt of lightning shot out in a zigzag pattern from the end of Genesis's blade, carving a "Z" into Flanard's chest plate, burning through the metal. The SOLDIER fell to the ground instantly, mouth hanging open in shock.

"Z is for Zack!" Genesis chortled, seemingly amused with himself. "Shall I make my mark on your lover as well, Zackary?" C is for - "

" _No_!" Zack fairly screamed, lunging at Genesis, his blade raised in the air, wintry sunlight gleaming off of the metal edge. "Ballard, Strife, Weingarten, anyone who's left, _get out of here now_!" Zack shouted, not even looking back toward the troopers. He hoped that Cloud would listen and not try to do anything foolish like jump in between himself and Genesis.

"But sir - Sergeant Flanard - " Zane began, looking toward the body on the ground of their commanding officer.

"Forget him, he's _gone_!" Zack shouted, knowing he might sound utterly heartless, but the fact was that Flanard was dead; his body was already breaking down into iridescent points of light as he was taken up into the Lifestream. Cloud stopped and gaped at the sight, thinking of Dill and wondering what had become of his body. Had he already passed into the Lifestream as well? The last time Cloud had seen Dill's body was when Reno had dragged it away, cradling it almost protectively.

"He's dead…Flanard's _dead_...Zack's right, we gotta go, _come on_!" Trooper Weingarten shouted at Zane, grabbing his sleeve to pull him away as tears smarted in his eyes. He saw the same emotions reflected in the eyes of his comrades. "Come on guys, it's not like not leaving Zack completely, we're going to cover him from a distance...Zane, how are you with a revolver?" Weingarten asked as he removed his duty weapon from its holster, turning the grip toward the trooper as he handed it over.

"I'm a decent shot, I guess," Zane said, shaking his head. "I'll…try my best, though." Zane bit his lip, his thoughts, like Cloud's, were with Dill. A boy much like them who had come to Midgar to join the ShinRa military, lured by promises of fame and glory, like the great Sephiroth. _Where **is** Sephiroth, anyway?_ Zane wondered, frowning. _Shouldn't he be here? Or...had he defected as well, just like Genesis and Angeal did?_ Zane shook his head, pushing these thoughts out of his mind in order to concentrate on the mission.

"Good man, Zane," Weingarten replied, pulling a shotgun from his pack, pumping the chamber as he locked and loaded. "I was thinking, Zane...you could fire some warning shots to distract him, maybe, and then I'll plug him between the eyes," the trooper added grimly. "I don't even know if that'll do anything...Genesis...I don't think he's exactly human," Weingarten went on, nodding toward the huge wing now extending from Genesis's left shoulder. A flurry of black feathers flew about the room as Genesis beat the single wing rapidly, the feathers swirling around Zack, blinding him temporarily and knocking him backward.

Cloud's heart sank as the group backed away from the duel, part of him wondering if this was the last time he'd ever see Zack alive again. Of course this was a thing always at the back of his mind; it was part and parcel of being in love with a soldier. The day could come when one or both of them might not come back from a mission. His gloved hand wrapped tightly around the grip of Weingarten's pistol, Cloud's thoughts shifted to Dill. His friend, likely his best friend he'd met at the academy outside of Zack. Dead, just like that.

_My fault...all my fault._ Cloud saw Reno's grief-stricken face in his mind once again; the Turk had been so hurt, so angry. So damned _raw_. Cloud's throat hurt from the hard lump that was in it; he swallowed, a few hot tears falling down his cheeks, hidden behind the hood-scarf that was part of the trooper uniform. Someone was talking - Solveig? When had the other commander arrived here? Cloud's head felt hollow, as if he were watching everything unfold from a great distance, as if he was not a part of this.

"Wake _up_ , Strife!" Lieutenant Solveig had, in fact, just arrived. Another platoon had been called in for backup had just landed outside Modeoheim. Tseng had piloted himself and Lazard and another wave of SOLDIERS and troopers to the deserted, snow-laden town; they were calling in everyone they could in the effort to capture Genesis.

"Come on, troops…let's fall back...I need two lookouts here - " Solveig pointed behind some barrels - " and here," he continued, pointing to the building opposite them.

The sudden flurry of activity made Cloud snap back to the present; he saluted Solveig quickly, as the SOLDIER began signaling the troopers to get into ready position. Zack, meanwhile, was still holding his ground , trying to get Hollander to safety. He wasn't sure of Genesis's intentions toward the scientist; was he going to kill Hollander? Or was he simply toying with the scientist, much like a saucy cat batting about a mouse it had pounced upon.

"Oh, Zack, such anger! Such power!" Genesis chortled, openly laughing in Zack's face as the two faced off, Zack standing his ground with his sword poised over his head, ready to strike if Genesis made any sudden moves. Hollander still lay cowering on the floor, his hand held up to his face in a warding gesture.

"You _need_ me, Genesis!" Hollander roared, now fearing for his life so much that he decided to try and bargain with the failed experiment. "Project G…yes, you know what Project G is, don't you? You've read the files…"

"Indeed I have," Genesis said dryly, ignoring Zack for the moment, though he still had an eye on him – as well as his rapier. "Playing god, you and Hojo? Like demented little children running amok, building toy soldiers! Well, I've got some news for you my friend... _we are not toys_!" Genesis spat angrily, the fire of Ifrit himself seemed to be in his eyes as he turned all of his vitriol toward Hollander. Genesis lunged toward the scientist, and in a single swoop wrapped his arm tightly around Hollander's neck, placing him in a choke-hold.

"And that's the bitter irony of it all, isn't it?" Genesis said darkly. "That I might need one such as you. My demented creator." He laughed without mirth, his grip around Hollander's neck tightening, though he staggered backwards slightly. The degradation was slowly but surely causing some very real effects on Genesis, weakening him. He would not give in at this point, however – not yet. There was still enough fight left in him, and the smirk he leveled at Zack would drive that point home.

* * *

Cloud, Zane, Weingarten and the other Shinra infantry who were there monitoring the situation could barely hear the heated exchange, though it was clear to all by reading the body language between Zack and Genesis that things had escalated and were at a very precarious point. One wrong move – by any one of them – could spell death for Zack, or for them all. Cloud's pupils narrowed into little points, his fear had transcended into rage; the thought that either of these two quarreling _idiots_ could cost Zack his life angered him more than the cadet even knew was possible.

"Someone needs to do something, get Hollander out of there," Cloud whispered to Zane, feeling oddly calm and decisive all of a sudden. He could hear Zack's voice in his head: " _Cloud, you can do anything you set your mind to. I have faith in you….and I won't let you fall. I promise you that_."

"And I won't let you down either, Zack," Cloud murmured, half to himself, clapping Zane on the shoulder. "Cover me. I'll get Hollander out of there, create a diversion – "

"What the hell are you thinking, Cloud!" Zane hissed, glaring at the cadet. "Don't do anything stupid, we already lost Dill!" The words, the reminder that Dill was dead, felt like a physical stab to Cloud's heart; he winced, but nodded and moved on.

"I _won't_ get hurt," Cloud said firmly, surprising him with this sudden surge of calm decisiveness. It wasn't in his normal nature . "Listen – they're distracted right now. I can do this. I need to do this – for Zack," he added, turning an eye toward his lover. Cloud felt his gut clench; he had every bit of faith in Zack, but he also felt he couldn't stand there and do _nothing_.

_Me doing nothing cost Dill his life_ , Cloud thought grimly, quietly going round the side and hoping to grab Hollander and get him to safety. _I won't fail anyone like that again._

" _Strife_!" Lieutenant Solveig hissed, but Cloud did not hear his commanding officer calling him. "Strife, get back here – gods, what in the hell does he think he's doing?" the lieutenant demanded of Weingarten and Zane, who had no answer but simply shrugged their shoulders. Other troopers that had arrived took flanking positions nearby; Sergeant Flanard's body, which had fallen nearby after receiving the fatal blow from Genesis, was already beginning to dissolve into small points of bright green light as the Lifestream called the SOLDIER home once again.

"Godspeed, my brother," Solveig whispered, giving a quick salute to his fallen comrade. He shook his head, eyes narrowing angrily. Genesis had to be stopped, and though the orders from President ShinRa had been to capture the deserter, Lazard had advised his men to 'use their best judgment.'

"Shoot to kill," Solveig gave the order to the others as Cloud crept forward; the lieutenant prayed that the cadet wouldn't end up in the crossfire himself. There had been enough bloodshed already, too many lives lost since Genesis went mad. It was time to put an end to it.

"Genesis must be stopped, at any cost," Solveig added firmly. Zane swallowed hard, and nodded. He was pissed at Cloud for inserting himself into the middle of things, though he certainly understood why. The troopers were getting antsy, wanting to do something other than to stand around waiting for something to happen.

Stealthily, Cloud crept around, keeping to the shadows and ducking behind walls as he approached Genesis from the side. Neither Zack nor Genesis had taken notice of the trooper yet, which gave Cloud his chance to make his move. He grabbed Hollander from behind in a bear hug, wresting him away from Genesis, who really hadn't intended on harming the scientist. Though Genesis hardly wanted to admit it, he _did_ need Hollander if he had any hope of battling the degradation that was taking a very real toll on his body. Hollander was the only one who knew where the rest of the Jenova cells were, or so the scientist had claimed. Not even Hojo was privy to their location; Hollander had stolen the samples out of his rival's lab and secreted them away. It was Hollander's last trump card with Genesis, and he planned on holding onto it for as long as he could.

"Nice, work, Cloud!" Zack called over to the cadet as he pulled Hollander out of harm's way. Genesis snapped his head around, glowering at Cloud.

"Quite the little _hero_ , isn't he?" Genesis quipped. He turned and pointed the tip of his rapier into Zack's shoulder armor. The wing furled out once again, fully extended, another spray of feathers hitting Zack in the face. He growled, shaking his head, spitting feathers out as Genesis laughed in his face.

"What's the matter, _puppy_?" Genesis said mockingly, drawing his hand back as he summoned a fire spell. Zack instinctively ducked and rolled, avoiding the attack, while Cloud got the scientist away from the dueling soldiers.

"Shove off, ya little grunt!" Hollander growled angrily, pushing Cloud away roughly; the cadet scuttled back slightly, then quickly regained his balance.

"Hey!" Cloud sputtered indignantly. Hollander stumbled awkwardly to his feet and gave Cloud a smirk and a wave - then ran off, but tripped over his sandals, roaring as he did so. Cloud grabbed Hollander and helped him up, dragging him away. Lieutenant Solveig and the others, meanwhile, had arrived at the perimeter, and Cloud's commanding officer was waving him over.

"Strife, get over here, _now_ ," the lieutenant said firmly, training his weapon on Genesis, though Zack kept moving around and was within his sights. "Fall back with the others."

"But I – " Cloud began to protest, looking back and forth helplessly from Solveig to Zack and Genesis. But I can't just leave him there, what if….what if he dies? Just like Dill did?

"Angeal…I wish you were here," Zack muttered, wielding his sword and drawing back into a defensive stance.

Genesis laughed. "Ah, yes….the _other_ monster. He's just like me, you know. Oh…wait….so you didn't know, eh, Zack?" Genesis said upon seeing Zack's look of surprise. "It's true…..wings of an angel, soul of a monster."

"Angeal is not a monster!" Zack cried out. "And – and neither are you, Genesis! You're SOLDIER! What about honor?!"

"Honor!" Genesis repeated with a barking laugh. "Ha. Honor, he says….you have no idea what a false ideal that is, Zack. But…you will learn, the hard way." Snarling, he drew his arm and wing back and sent yet another torrent of stinging feathers Zack's way.

"Damn it!" Zack shouted, the barbs tearing at the skin of his forearms, though he deflected them quickly and shrugged it off. Genesis staggered; he was weakening even more, the degradation progressing more rapidly than even Hollander had anticipated.

"If I die so be it," Genesis quipped, falling to his knees, gasping. Zack lowered his sword and stood down, eyeing Genesis with a mixture of curiosity, and pity. It was beginning to dawn on Zack that this was not something Genesis had asked for, this twisted birthright that was visited upon him by Hollander. He thought back to Hojo, and his indifferent manner when Cloud had gotten so sick from the Mako injections. He didn't care about any of them, neither did Hollander. All of them….all of SOLDIER, all of the ShinRa cadets and infantrymen…they were all pawns. Expendable pawns to those who wanted to play god.

"Genesis, wait – maybe there's a cure!" Zack protested, reaching a hand out to help the fallen ginger. Limbs trembling, Genesis got to his feet, and shook his head.

"Zack," Genesis said softly. "Ah, Zack…forever the optimist. Always remember…there is no love, only hate; no joy, only sorrow. I understand what that means, now," he added, stepping backwards toward the metal railing behind him; he unfurled his wing again and flapped it, flying up to stand upon the rail. Zack looked on in horror as he realized what Genesis intended to do.

"Genesis, _don't_!" Zack cried out. "Don't do this to yourself…to Angeal!"

At that, Genesis threw his head back and laughed bitterly. "Angeal is in the same boat as I, am Zack. Oh, you'll see soon enough, I am sure. I will seek the gift of the goddess…though I may die trying, and if I do….the world will die with me." Genesis tilted his head back, looking up to the heavens before closing his eyes; then he stretched out his arms and his wing, leaning backwards as he let gravity take him down, down into the abyss.

"Genesis…." Zack said sadly, shaking his head. He whipped around suddenly, hearing Hollander's raucous laughter coming from behind him.

"The hell are you laughing about!" Zack snapped at the scientist. "This isn't funny!" Cloud was standing just behind Hollander – mainly to make sure he didn't try to bolt again. He eyed him with contemptuous disbelief. Genesis was in all likelihood dead, and here was Hollander, _laughing_ about it.

"Genesis was imperfect," Hollander replied, shrugging his shoulders. "A failed experiment. Injected with cells from Gillian Hewley, who had been implanted with the cells from Jenova – "

"Wait, _what_?" Zack interrupted. "Angeal's mother? What has she got to do with this?"

"One such as you wouldn't understand the great pains I went through, in trying to breed the perfect SOLDIER," Hollander scoffed dismissively. "But despite the failure with Genesis, I learned from it, you see. And I went on to find perfection." Hollander smiled, sounding almost like a proud parent as he went on to speak about his 'creation.'

" _I_ did it, me – Professor Hollander, not Hojo!" the scientist shouted angrily, pacing back and forth on the platform. Zack and Cloud exchanged a glance, and Zack shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what to make of this. "Project S be damned, Project G is the true success story of ShinRa! You see…the latter half of Project G is where I achieved my greatest work. I created the greatest SOLDIER the world has ever seen!" Hollander beamed, nodding behind Zack. "And there he is….my son…my perfect, beautiful son."

" _Son_?" Zack blurted as he spun around to face none other than Angeal. "Who - Angeal! You're alive!"

"Yes, I'm alive, Zack. For all the good _that's_ worth," Angeal muttered, glaring at Hollander. A well-muscled arm flew out and backhanded the scientist, sending him flying. "I'm sorry about Genesis," Angeal said apologetically to Zack, turning and raising the buster sword over his head as he faced Zack. "I should have been the one to do it. He's at peace now, at least…I pray he is. But now, Zack…you have to do the right thing."

"Do the right thing?" Zack echoed dumbly. "What are you talking about, Angeal?"

"Remember, Zack…" Angeal intoned, as a host of creatures appeared on either side of him – did he just summon those? Zack wondered, bewildered. Angeal reared back and roared, Zack looking on in horror as Angeal fused with the monsters. "Now you see, don't you, Zack," Angeal hissed, slashing the SOLDIER's face with a trident. "I am them…and they are me. Monsters, all of us. You know what to do, Zack…now _do it_!" Angeal advanced toward Zack, waving his trident in the air.

"No! I _won't_ hurt you, Angeal!" Zack protested, as the other troopers looked on in horror.

"Sir, we need to do something!" Zane hissed to Solveig, who shook his head. "They're going to kill each other!"

"Stand down, cadet," Solveig said firmly. "And that's an _order_. Director Lazard has orders for us not to interfere."

"Then why the hell are we even here?" Cloud snapped; he shrank as Solveig glared at him. He stammered and turned red but went on. "Sir…with all due respect…what's our purpose here?"

Solveig shook his head and sighed. He didn't like this either, but Lazard had been rather firm in his directive. The lieutenant wondered why, but also knew to question those orders would be seen as insubordination, punishable by stripping of his rank or worse. "I don't know, Strife, but I have my orders," the lieutenant said wearily. "If Hollander tries to get away again, just…shoot him in the leg."

Angeal – or, the creature he'd become - had charged at Zack, swinging the trident, snarling. "Remember what I told you, Zack," the monster roared. "Do the right thing. Remember…your honor."

"Angeal, _don't make me do this_!" Zack protested once again, but he did not back down this time. Hoisting his sword over his head, he yelled as he ran toward Angeal, sick with the knowledge that he was ready to kill his mentor - and one of the best friends he'd ever had.

* * *


	17. Great Gig In The Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle in Modeoheim comes to a head, and Zack is forced to do the unthinkable. Major angst in this chapter.

 

* * *

And I am not frightened of dying. Any time will do; I don't mind.  
Why should I be frightened of dying? There's no reason for it - you've gotta go sometime.

**"Great Gig in the Sky" - Pink Floyd**

* * *

_There are some pictures I have of you, Zack...that I hold only in my mind. And maybe that's for the best, that I don't have a photo I can take out every now and then, hold in my hand, and look at. Some things are better left hidden in the recesses of our minds. The mental image is hard enough to deal with sometimes, as much as I treasure my memories of you. That day in Modeoheim, I saw the look on your face when you realized what Angeal had become. What had always been a part of him, and the thing he was asking you to do. It is something I'll never forget, though that day is something we both wished we could forget, or even that it had never happened in the first place._

_The look on your face, when you realized you no longer had a choice, and had to do the unthinkable. That is something that will stay with me in this world and the next._

* * *

Cloud's face went white as he and the other troopers watched and waited, hanging back by the stairs, virtually ignored by both Angeal and Zack. He felt sick, he wanted to punch Lazard in the face for ordering them to stand there and do nothing. Where the hell _was_ Lazard, anyway? His face contorted with each blow Angeal landed upon Zack with the trident, as if he could feel the jabs physically himself. Zack had pretty well tuned out everything save for Angeal - or the monster who had taken over his friend and mentor's body.

"Angeal!" Zack shouted, ducking and rolling to dodge the blows from the weapon. He felt the wind rush past his face, then hot wetness on his cheek as the blade made contact with flesh. Zack's head snapped back from the blow and he stumbled. He knew that weapons alone would be no match for this beast, magic and summons would be needed as well. Zack preferred hand-to-hand combat, but he would use materia in battle when he absolutely had to; this was obviously one of those times. He ran his hand over the hilt of the sword, activating the materia nestled within, which gave off a small vibration, then emanated the ethereal glow of Mako energy.

" _Ifrit_!" Zack shouted, casting the summon of the same name. The fiery beast roared, waves of heat rolling off his body, melting some of the frigid landscape. The Angeal-monster's lips drew back in a feral grin, the flesh of his face no longer possessing the healthy glow of Angeal, but had taken on a sickly grey tone, much like that of Genesis's degrading body. Genesis was presumed dead, and now Zack was about to kill the Red General's lover and best friend - or die trying. Zack thought again of Cloud, though he could not look away to catch his eye; he rushed at Angeal, slashing with his sword as Ifrit supplemented the attack. The fiery beast lobbed a rapid series of fireballs at Angeal, both monsters roaring angrily at each other, Zack now caught in the crossfire. He knew Ifrit was not aiming at him - after all, he'd summoned the fire-monster to do his bidding - but here and there a fireball would catch Zack in the shoulder, singeing him. The smell of burnt hair filled the warehouse, the scent noxious and irritating, though that was certainly the least of Zack's worries. Blood ran down his cheek, into the collar of his sweater, from the wound Angeal had given him. It burned and stung but Zack barely noticed any pain right now, he was on a rush of pure rage and adrenaline.

"You can end this, Angeal! Do the right thing, the honorable thing!" Zack shouted, pleading to his mentor. He knew the real Angeal, the essence of the good man he once knew was somewhere in there, within this horrible, monstrous facade. "You're not a monster! Hollander did this to you, it's not your fault! Zack's mind briefly shifted to the professor, the one responsible; he would deal with Hollander later, personally. These were crimes against humanity, not science as Hollander would claim.

"But I _am_ a monster, Zack," Angeal said as he returned fire with an ice spell. It felt like frigid knives piercing the skin of Zack's upper arm, and he shouted out loud at the contact. "A _perfect_ monster." His voice held a hollow, foreign tone; tinny and unnatural, like a mere echo of the true warrior that Zack knew Angeal to be. "Just ask Professor Hollander how perfect I am. He'll tell you."

Zack's face was a mask of pure fury, and he roared. "I don't give a damn what Hollander or any of them say, Angeal! What I care about is saving your life!"

The Angeal-creature paused for a moment, regarding Zack sadly. "It is not a life worth saving, Zackary," the monster said in a low, gravelly tone. "Surely you can realize that? Don't be an optimistic fool, Zack. Do the right thing. _Kill me_." The creature bared its teeth at it lunged toward Zack, ignoring Ifrit and his attacks altogether. Deep down, where the SOLDIER - the man - resided within the shell of this monstrous being, Angeal longed for an end to this suffering, this indignity. There was no honor in what he'd become, and no honor in dying. Not the hero's death Angeal had always imagined, if it came to such a point in battle. No, this was more along the lines of exterminating a thing which never should have been.

He had to draw Zack out more, Angeal knew this. Push the puppy's buttons and get him to snap; force him to make that final cut, that final blow, to release him from this hell, and to spare the world from yet another monster. "So damned stubborn," Angeal barked, lashing out again at Zack with his trident, drawing a gash across his upper arm. Blood seeped out in a thick line, and Zack grunted, infuriated that Angeal kept attacking and wouldn't let him _help_.

_I have to get him to stop...but he won't stop...he'll just make copies of himself like Genesis did, before he..._ Zack drew his brows together in a frown. Had Genesis died? Zack supposed he had, the abyss Genesis had fallen into was endless. Nobody could survive that, especially with Genesis now in his degraded state. Though still powerful, Zack knew that power was weakening. He could see the same thing happening with Angeal.

"There's a way out of this, Angeal," Zack tried appealing to his mentor, this man and monster, one last time. "There's got to be a way..." Zack felt his voice trail off as fatigue and realization set in.

_Maybe there **is** no other way. No way out. _ Zack looked upon Angeal again sorrowfully - not with pity, he knew that would be the last thing Angeal would want, was anyone's pity. Merely sorrow and horror at the thing Angeal had become.

Zack felt his eyes water as his rage and sorrow grew, the heightened emotions pushing his limit break.

"Forgive me, Angeal," Zack whispered as he raised the sword over his head, beams rushing out of it as the limit break took hold, those beams of energy slicing through Angeal's monstrous form, sending the once-mighty SOLDIER general falling to the ground. The monstrous appearance began to dissolve, Angeal's handsome features revealed once again as Zack rushed forward to support his friend as he lay dying.

"Zack," Angeal said weakly, eyes weary and looking up at his angel of mercy. "Finally...you listened to me. Took you long enough." He attempted a weak laugh, but coughed and sputtered slightly, his head lolling to the side, supported by Zack's strong arms. Cloud and the others weren't even on Zack's mind in that moment, though they soon would be. Right now, Zack being there for Angeal was all that mattered.

"Zack," Angeal repeated, reaching a hand out to his protégé. "You remember what I said, right?" Angeal spluttered and coughed, turning slightly to the side as he awkwardly grasped the handle of the buster sword, handing it over to Zack, who had an incredulous look upon his face.

"No...Angeal, I can't take it - " Zack protested, knowing the importance of Angeal's weapon, and what it represented to him.

"Don't...argue with me...Zack," Angeal gasped, clutching Zack's forearm hard. His breath was coming in short, painful spurts now, and his complexion turning blue. Death was all too near, and it had been at Zack's hand. Tears welled up in the younger SOLDIER's eyes as Zack knelt over Angeal, one hand still supporting the dying man, the other wrapped around the handle of the massive sword he'd just been bequeathed.

"No tears, puppy," Angeal teased, using the old nickname he'd bestowed upon Zack when the latter was but a cadet himself. "Don't mourn my passing, Zack. I will be at peace, free from the monsters..."

"Angeal...I love you," Zack choked out, eyes misting over. "You're my best friend."

"Take care of the chocobo, puppy," Angeal murmured, his gaze on the heavens as the light went out of his eyes. "Be good to each other, and remember...about the sword...use brings about rust - " Angeal's head fell abruptly to the side as the life left his body, and Zack remained silently kneeling by his side, gloved hands tightening around the handle of the buster sword.

Sighing, Zack slowly got to his feet, wielding the massive sword and hoisting it over his back. The hilt settled comfortably into his shoulder armor, as if it had always belonged there. Zack's eyes met the shocked and sad expressions of the troopers who had quietly held back while the battle drew to its end. Cloud stood stock still, reeling now from the loss of three friends and comrades in one day - first Dill, then Genesis, and now Angeal. His gaze held Zack's, and it jarred Cloud out of his senses to see that depth of hurt reflecting in Zack's eyes. Zack was normally the happy-go-lucky one, the positive one, but this was too much for even him to bear. Finally, after everyone observed a respectful stretch of silence, Zack spoke.

"We lost a great man just now - a man who embodied the heart and soul of SOLDIER," Zack said slowly. "Angeal Hewley, my friend...and my mentor. He and Genesis Rhapsodos trained me, and made me the man I am today. They taught me about honor, pride, friendship...and how to fight. Why it was so important to stand strong, to protect the ones you love." Zack's eyes met Cloud's dead on, and he stifled a soft sigh. He wanted nothing more now than to be back home in Midgar, alone with his boyfriend, but Zack knew that first there were other matters to attend to. He would make sure that Angeal's and Dill's bodies were probably interred, and that they received the military honors they deserved. Zack knew how Sephiroth felt - that Angeal and Genesis were traitors, but he didn't care. As for Dill and Flanard, both had been killed in the line of duty, so Sephiroth wouldn't take much convincing there. Zack knew that Reno was waiting back at the chopper with the bodies, and he vowed that their sacrifices would not be forgotten.

"Sargent Flanard...it was my great pleasure and honor to serve with you in SOLDIER. You were fearless, brave, and loyal - everything we strive to be in SOLDIER. Trooper Dillon Marquard was one of the most promising young men I've ever had the pleasure of training," Zack went on, Cloud's bottom lip trembling at the words and at the thought of his friend; the one who'd given his very life to save Cloud's. "He was brilliant, passionate, and fearless, and made the ultimate sacrifice to protect one of our own." _And thank gods you did, Dill...if I'd lost Cloud on top of everyone else I've lost today, I don't think I'd be able to go on._

Zack bowed his head and knelt down on one knee, pointing the blade of the buster sword toward the heavens. "To our fallen friends. May their sacrifice never be forgotten." It never even crossed Zack's mind, as it would Sephiroth's, that Genesis and Angeal had died in disgrace; considered to be deserters of ShinRa army. Even if Zack had known this, he would not care. The one he held responsible for all the disaster that had befallen Angeal and Genesis, was Hollander. Zack's eyes scanned the area, looking for the hateful scientist.

"Where is he?" Zack demanded, though Lieutenant Solveig was quick to step forward.

"Rest assured, Zack...Hollander was taken into custody," Solveig told him, gritting his teeth as he too thought of his fallen comrades. He and Flanard had enlisted at the same time, moving up the ranks quickly, both falling into roles as instructors when ShinRa established their military academy. "Tseng and Rude have Hollander," Solveig went on, smirking slightly. "They are...questioning him." Zack exchanged a look with Solveig, knowing what the lieutenant had been trying to convey without saying as much. Zack imagined that Hollander would likely file complaints about Turk brutality, and the very thought made him roll his eyes.

Lieutenant Solveig waved Zane and Trooper Weingarten over, while signaling to Cloud that he should stay behind. "We'll get everything set for liftoff, men. Today...you have all proved yourselves worthy to be called SOLDIER. Never forget that. And Cloud?" Solveig added, calling to the cadet. "Please...look after Commander Fair, and bid Angeal farewell. The Lifestream is calling him right now." Everyone turned to look, and sure enough, Angeal's body began to lift in mid-air, as if being pulled toward the heavens by unseen hands.

Zane sucked in his breath through his teeth, then considered the cold, dead bodies of his fallen comrades back at the helicopter. "Sir?" Zane spoke quietly to Solveig as they watched Angeal leave this realm to cross over to the other side. "Sir...why is it that Angeal is already returning to the Lifestream, but...Dill and Sargent Flanard...?" The question was left unfinished, though Solveig would know what Zane meant. Why was Angeal, moments after his death, crossing over into the Lifestream so soon, while Dill and Flanard had yet to do so?

"Because Angeal was ready, and willing to go," Solveig replied simply, a soft sigh escaping his lips. "Dillon...and Sargent Flanard - they were both taken quickly, without warning. As far as I can tell...Angeal welcomed death. You heard him before, begging Zack to kill him, right? Angeal was ready to die, the others...not so much. They had something - or some _one_ here on the Planet that they were not quite ready to leave." Zane and Weingarten nodded somberly, Zane in particular taking the words to heart, as he was one of the few who had known about Dill sudden clandestine relationship with Reno. He found his own thoughts turning to Quinn; the girl he loved back at the Academy, though he was too scared to tell her so, and hid his feelings under a false bravado.

_Things are going to change when I get back,_ Zane told himself firmly, backing up a respectful distance from Zack and Cloud as Solveig motioned them away. _You never know which day is going to be your last...I gotta tell Quinn how I feel. Before it's too late._

Cloud was desperate to touch Zack, to simply lay a hand on his arm as if to say _I'm here_ , but he could scarcely move, and seemed to suddenly be struck mute as well. The spectacle before them, of Angeal's body breaking down and turning into a million points of light and dissipating into the Lifestream was enough to stun anyone into silence.

Just as Angeal was lifted into the heavens, brilliant white wings burst forth from his back, feathers falling back down toward the earth. Zack reached a hand up to grab hold of some of them, a look of awe etched upon his face.

"The wings of an angel….and you earned them, my friend," Zack whispered skyward. "You earned them." He felt a shudder in his chest as he swallowed around the lump in his throat. Zack turned back to Cloud, wrapping his arms around him tightly, burying his face in the blond spikes. He stood like that for a moment, just inhaling and exhaling slowly, drinking in Cloud's scent, how it felt to hold him. It was just the thing Zack needed in that moment - that touch, to ground him again.

"Been a hell of a day," Zack finally said hoarsely, giving Cloud a weak half-smile. "I think…after we get back to Midgar…and after the funerals…we should take a vacation, just you and me, Cloud. What do you say?"

Cloud smiled wearily, leaning into Zack, arms around the other's waists as they headed out. "I think that's a great idea, Zack," Cloud replied, his mood lifting ever so slightly at the promise of something actually _pleasant_ to look forward to.

"I'll make arrangements when we get back," Zack said quietly, as they joined the others near the chopper. "For a week in Costa del Sol." Everyone, SOLDIER and cadet alike, spotted the two body bags – plain black vinyl, bearing the ShinRa logo. Zack's eyes fell and he bowed his head respectfully, as did Cloud, Zane and the others. Each offered up their own silent prayer for their fallen friends and comrades, none of them moving until Reno appeared from the rear of the chopper, headed toward the pilot's seat. Glancing up, Cloud's gaze met Reno's; the Turk's eyes were narrowed, angry. Then, just as suddenly, his expression shifted from rage into a resigned look.

"Look…Cloud," Reno said softly. "I know I went off on you before, but I just wanted to say…it's not your fault. Dill…he would have laid down his life for any of his friends. That's just the kind of man he was."

"Yeah," Cloud answered in a near-whisper, not entirely convinced that it wasn't his fault, but he appreciated Reno's words all the same. "I…I know he was. Thank you."

As the remaining troopers got on the chopper, each of them gave Hollander – bound and gagged in the back – a glare. Reno raised an eyebrow at Rude and asked, "What's with the gag?"

Rude grunted. "He wouldn't talk…well, wasn't saying anything useful, anyway so I shut him up," the bald Turk replied simply. "Got sick of listening to him." Reno nodded, teeth bared at the semi-conscious scientist.

Tseng stood calmly by, brushing lint off of his suit, looking only slightly perturbed. He nodded as the soldiers and troopers boarded, then put his headset on, taking the seat next to Reno. Tseng's second in command had insisted on piloting the helicopter back to Midgar, wanting to do something to keep his mind off of his loss, though that was proving to be impossible, knowing that Dill's still-warm body was zipped up in a bag in the cargo area.

"Prep for return flight to Midgar," Reno spoke into the headset, his voice sounding foreign and tinny to his own ear. He felt his eyes begin to fill and his vision swam, but Reno stubbornly blinked away the tears.

"Estimated time of arrival, one hour thirty-five minutes." After that last utterance, Reno would fly in silence until landing back on the rooftop of the ShinRa Building, and nobody else spoke until they arrived back home.

* * *


	19. Invincible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Lemons aplenty, het, yaoi, and otherwise. Graphic adult situations, so you have been warned!
> 
> Special thanks to cybersoldier for allowing me to use her OC, Harmony Halcyon – a female cadet who's trying to get into SOLDIER much like my own OC Quinn. 
> 
> Disclaimer: As always, song lyrics are quoted merely to set the mood; I do not own any lyrics nor do I own the characters of FFVII, save for my own OC's. Written for fun and not profit.

 

* * *

_During the struggle, they will pull us down_  
But please, please, let's use this chance to turn things around  
And tonight we can truly say  
Together we're invincible  
Together we're invincible

**Invincible, Muse**

* * *

_Our pictures from Costa del Sol - our first vacation together - those few snapshots are among my very favorites. I'd never felt so happy or relaxed. I want to hold onto that memory, of our time there together...before our world came crashing down. It was there, staying in the villa, where it really sank in for me, that you truly loved me. And it was then that I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I pictured us growing old together fifty years from now, the two of us as two old men walking hand-in-hand down the beach._

_This photo I snapped of you, asleep in the sun - working on your tan - I'm going to buy a little frame for this one, I think. Something this beautiful shouldn't be shoved in my keepsake box to be hidden away forever. In fact...I'm thinking I might buy a collage frame so I can put all of these precious memories in one place, where I can see them all the time._

_Because I don't ever want to forget you, Zack. Never again. Memory is a fragile thing, easily broken; I know this all too well._

* * *

Though both Zack and Cloud knew they only had a week of free time, to the two lovers it felt as though they had all the time in the world. After all they'd been through in the months since they'd started dating, this time alone to reconnect was exactly the thing they'd needed. Altogether it had been a lot to bear – a whirlwind romance amidst the ugliness of war and the loss of dear friends - but both Zack and Cloud took solace in knowing they had each other to lean upon.

They spent their days in Costa del Sol like any number of tourists there - walking along the beach holding hands, eating deep-fried fish from the food stands in the town; swimming and taking naps in the afternoon sun.

Several days into their trip, Cloud and Zack were sleepy following a grand pig-out session for their lunch. Feeling happy and satisfied, they packed up their beach gear and made their way down to the main beach in Costa. As Cloud lay on his towel upon the sand, soaking up the blissfully warm rays of sunshine on the beach, he wondered how Reno was doing. Squinting in the bright sunshine, Cloud opened one eye to steal a glance at Zack, who was lying out next to him on his own towel.

Cloud rolled on his side, smiling, opening both eyes and pulling his sunglasses down over his face as he shamelessly let his eyes rove over his lover's body. Zack was, in Cloud's mind, perfect. His skin, now tanned a few shades darker than normal, bore a few battle scars here and there, but thanks to the Mako in Zack's system, scarring was minimal. Even the traces of his most recent battle wounds, received when he fought against both Genesis and Angeal, had all but faded away. Cloud shivered despite the warm, humid air, remembering that day. _I want to forget all of it, and just concentrate on here and now...and Zack...but I don't think I'll ever forget._

He thought again of Dill, so full of life; so full of promise and potential, cruelly cut down in his prime. The loss of his friend and the loss of the men of SOLDIER - Angeal, Genesis, and Sargent Flanard - cut them both deeply, though neither had really talked about it since their arrival in Costa del Sol, wanting instead to focus on some happy relaxation together. They had far too few moments in their still-new relationship where they'd simply had a chance to be happy together...like a normal couple.

_Can we ever be a normal couple, after the hell we've been through together?_ Cloud would wonder, and then shook his head, trying to dismiss his own dubious thoughts. He felt, deep down, that as long as he had Zack by his side, they could weather any storm together. Cloud smiled at Zack, half-dozing in the warm sunlight. Dark lashes lined his eyelids, which were shut tightly as he napped; Zack's mouth hung half-open as he lightly snored, and Cloud felt a tangible ache, as well as an irresistible pull toward his lover as he gazed upon him.

Slowly, Cloud inched toward Zack, brushing his lips over one sun-bronzed shoulder, fingertips lightly glancing over a muscled forearm. Zack's eyelids fluttered open, his lips quirking up into a slow grin. Then, as he woke fully, his dazzling smile was directed at Cloud.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Cloud lied. He wasn't sorry, not by any stretch of the imagination. Zack smiled, reaching a hand up to Cloud's face, fingers lacing through the blond spikes, already bleached an even lighter blond by the sun. "You know...for a backwater country boy, you make a pretty hot looking beach bunny," Zack teased, ducking the mock punch Cloud threw at him. "Nice tan lines - " Zack's fingers pulled at Cloud's trunks, letting them snap back after he peeked a bit. Cloud pretended to swat Zack's roving hands away.

"Beach bunny!" Cloud exclaimed, feigning that he was offended. "How dare you call me that..."

"Why, what you gonna do about it, Cloud, huh?" Zack teased back, his eyes dancing with mischief. This was just the thing that had been missing, what the two had longed for; time alone at last, to just be themselves and bask in the other's affections. Even when those affections turned to teasing, it was always light-hearted and good-natured.

"Oh, I'll think of something..." Cloud replied with a grin, rolling over to Zack, balancing on his elbow as he leaned on his side, just basking in the other man's presence. Cloud couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy. It was a welcome change after the hellish weeks they'd been through.

Cloud's lips met Zack's in a warm, unrushed kiss. Both were feeling lazy and relaxed from napping in the sun, and would be content to just remain there for the rest of the day. The sound of children playing on the beach and splashing in the surf was a reminder that they were not as alone as they might like on this part of the beach, not for what Zack had in mind.

"Want to go somewhere a little more...private?" Zack hinted, cocking a grin at Cloud. The cadet nodded eagerly, already gathering up his towel and shaking the sand out of it.

"Yeah. There's a little cove down that way," Cloud murmured, heart thudding in his chest, as he nodded toward a sparsely populated portion of the beach, down toward the jetty. All they'd done since arriving in Costa was to eat, sleep, and make love, and that was perfectly fine by the two lovers.

"I saw that, when we walked up this morning," Zack said with a yawn as he stood and stretched. "Mm. Cloud, you really look good. I mean, not that you didn't already look amazing," he quickly added, sheepishly grinning. "You just look more relaxed. Vacation looks good on you."

"You too," Cloud replied, standing on tiptoe to give Zack a quick kiss. "I really need this." He slid his flip-flops back on his feet as Zack did likewise, and they gathered up all their belongings. Zack smiled as Cloud walked on ahead, with an ease that hadn't been seen - or felt - for longer than Zack could remember.

"So did I," Zack responded as they walked along. "Hell, I can't even remember the last time I had a vacation. But I have to say, this is the best one I've ever had, and that's because you're with me, Cloud." He reached for Cloud's hand, warmed from the sun, and held onto it as they headed to the more private area of the beach.

_Things are starting to look up_ , Zack thought, feeling happy and determined, and focused on building a future together with Cloud. He idly wondered what the state of the SOLDIER program would be upon their return to Midgar; without Angeal and Genesis at the helm, Zack supposed it would fall to himself and Sephiroth to take the lead, to serve as the new face of SOLDIER.

"Here's a good spot," Cloud announced, waving Zack on over. "The sun should be out for a few more hours here."

"Yeah...I gotta work on my tan, it seems," Zack observed, holding his arm next to Cloud's and comparing skin tone. He grinned. "You're darker than _me_ , even."

"I don't think I've ever been in the sun this long in my life," Cloud admitted, slathering on some more suntan oil as he took up a spot on his towel once again. "Not that I mind," he added, a contented sigh escaping as he lay back, closing his eyes and just breathing in the salt air, feeling utterly relaxed. "This is _so_ nice."

"I don't mine it either," Zack agreed, the tropically scented oil hitting his nostrils, stirring his senses and igniting his lust. He stared hungrily at Cloud, running sword-calloused hands over the freshly-oiled skin of the cadet's torso. Zack didn't care one bit that the sand was sticking to them both as he inched closer to Cloud, kissing him fiercely. He let out his breath a bit; it had felt as though the world was spinning and coming to a sudden stop. This, right here - Cloud in his arms - served as Zack's axis, the thing that kept him grounded and sane when the rest of the world around them was going straight to hell.

"Nobody's watching….are they?" Cloud asked idly as Zack pulled him into his arms, kissing him.

"Just you and me against the world, Cloud," Zack murmured quietly as he and Cloud joined together in passion once again, oblivious to the world around them for the moment.

Zack had no idea then how prophetic his words would turn out to be.

* * *

The sun rose over Mideel, filtering through the rice-paper shades of the rented hut Reno was sleeping in. He yawned as he stretched his arms over his head, moaning slightly at the pounding ache in his skull, with rueful recognition that he'd caused that headache himself, overindulging in drink once again.

Evidence of his other indulgences lay scattered across the room; empty cigarette packs, a hookah set aside on one of the low end tables, and curled around him were his two companions from the night before; it had been a long time, years even, since Reno had paid for sex. It was a practice he found mildly distasteful on a purely cerebral level, but the loneliness and anger he felt at the present time overruled any sense of morality or compunction. The madam he'd gone through had assured Reno that these two - a male and a female - were clean and free of diseases, were both of the legal age of consent, and would cater to Reno's every whim. It was certainly not the first time Reno had solicited someone for sex – but it had been a long time since he'd felt this desperate and this lonely enough to do so.

The young man called himself Taur, and reminded Reno a bit of Cloud, facially, anyway. An athletic looking blue-eyed blond, he sensed Reno's tension right away and offered him a back massage when the three had returned to Reno's rented hut.

"Sure," Reno said dully, shrugging his shoulders as he lay face down on the bed. He felt so empty inside, so numb; though Taur's skilled fingers worked the muscles of Reno's back and shoulders, Reno felt nothing. He missed Dill, he wanted something to fill that aching void in his heart, and in his haste to feel something - to feel _anything_ \- he'd paid the madam her fee. One-thousand gil a day, for each escort. _Whores...they're whores, but ain't I a whore too?_ _I've done things for the job that I never should have done,_ Reno pondered with some regret, gasping as he felt Taur's fingers gliding elsewhere, accompanied by the soft brush of long hair over his back, as the female took her place next to Reno.

That first night in Mideel, Reno let the two have their way with him, barely participating in the act himself; after all, wasn't this what he'd paid for? He'd gone to Mideel to get away from everything - to indulge in something taboo, and to try and forget about life for a while. Part of him wished he'd gone to Costa as Zack and Cloud had done, but he knew that seeing how happy the two were together would be a constant reminder of what he'd just lost, and Reno didn't need that.

Taur's female counterpart went by the name of Fawn, and with her tawny skin and auburn hair, Reno could see how fitting the name was, though he was certain that wasn't her real name, nor was it likely that Taur's name was his birth name either. Reno felt a sudden swell of anxiety; this was wrong, paying these two for their bodies, their intimacy. He thought of Dill and felt guilty. _What the fuck am I doing! It's not like sleepin' with these two is gonna bring him back...or make me forget him._

He turned his head to gaze at Fawn, who had just woken up herself, and smiled brightly at Reno. She'd been paid for a service, and had seen clients like Reno before. Someone who was utterly depressed, desperate to forget something - or someone.

"I don't want to forget him," Reno heard himself confessing to Fawn, who looked at him sympathetically. She nudged Taur awake, who blinked, then sat up, mildly concerned that the client still seemed to be in such a state of depression. _Perhaps_ , Taur thought, _we are not doing enough for him. He seems to want comfort more than anything else._

"Someone you cared for, hmm?" Taur asked, sitting cross-legged on the bed, running his hands up and down Reno's bare back, trying to soothe him. Fawn sat sprawled across Reno's lap, softly kissing his shoulders, his neck, murmuring something in Banoran.

"Yeah...I think I loved him, even," Reno forced himself to speak, the words painful to even articulate, and the lump in his throat growing the more he thought about Dill. "Maybe. I don't know. It was so fast. I...I shouldn't be doing this."

"Your man...he not want you to hurt forever, right?" Fawn asked Reno softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him tentatively. Reno reluctantly let his hands fall to Fawn's hips, pulling her astride him.

"No," Reno said flatly. "He wouldn't want that." _He wouldn't want me paying for sex, either_ , Reno thought but would not say out loud. It was not Taur and Fawn's fault Reno felt this way, and he would not belittle these two in that fashion. They'd helped Reno in some small, strange way, though the Turk knew when all was said and done, this was simply a business transaction. No strings, or feelings, were attached.

Fawn took two condoms from the nearby table, handing one to Reno, then one to Taur with a questioning look on her face. Reno nodded, not smiling, as he opened the package, rolling it down over himself as Fawn lay back on the bed, removing the rest of her negligee. Reno's movements were robotic and he was utterly silent; it would unnerve anyone who knew the normally chatty, happy-go-lucky Turk.

There was no pleasure in the act; Reno felt detached, numb; the opposite of how he'd felt with Dill, or any of his other past lovers. _I can't do this...I can't!_ Gone was Reno's usual cocky demeanor, and he knew that as soon as he was alone, his exterior would crack. If he wasn't careful he would fall apart. _Can't let that happen, I need to pull my shit together. I need to get back to Midgar_. He would bury himself in his work again, now that he'd gotten this out of his system; it wasn't the healthiest coping mechanism, but it was how Reno dealt with things.

"I'm sorry," Reno whispered, pushing Fawn away suddenly. "I'm...so sorry. I need to be alone...here, here's some extra for the both of you," he added, peeling ten one-hundred gil notes out of his wallet, giving half to Taur, and half to Fawn. "You were both wonderful, I just...I gotta work shit out on my own now. I'm sorry, but I need you to go."

"No apology necessary," Taur said politely, accepting the wad of money Reno thrust at him. This was not the first time he'd seen a job end like this, nor Fawn. "We will just need a moment to dress, and we will leave right away."

"Thank you," Reno whispered, head pounding miserably as he clutched at his bottle of whiskey, draining what was left in there. He had more in the room, and would drink it all as soon as these two left. The way Reno felt now, he didn't care if he didn't wake up for several days.

Fawn and Taur did as they were asked, and dressed themselves quickly, both bowing to Reno as they exited the distraught man's room. After they descended the ladder and got back down to ground level, Fawn grabbed at Taur's arm and hissed.

"Call Mr. Rude," she told Taur. "The one who brought him here. He said to call in emergency."

"Is this an emergency, though?" Taur asked Fawn, doubtfully. He wasn't one to intrude upon a client's private business, and Reno had just dismissed them both, effectively ending the business transaction. "Mr. Reno is sad, but maybe he will be okay, yeah?"

"No," Fawn said firmly, speaking in broken Banoran. "I think he not okay. Five bottles of whiskey in that room. What if he drink it all?"

"It would kill him, sure, but how is that our responsibility, Fawn?" Taur argued.

"This not just ordinary client," Fawn explained patiently. "You not know? Mr. Reno and Mr. Rude...they Turks."

"Oh," Taur said dumbly, understanding finally sinking in. "Oh. Yes, you're right, Fawn. Give me the number...I'll call him now."

Up in the bedroom of his hut, Reno sat cross-legged and naked, cradling the bottle of whiskey tenderly, as if it was an infant. Then, suddenly, his face contorted into an ugly mask of rage, and he threw the bottle to the side, standing up on wobbly legs. He staggered to the bathroom, studying his reflection in the mirror.

"You look like shit," he told his reflection as he spat into the sink. Reno's fingers gripped the edge of the basin as he continued to glare into the mirror, then lifted a hand to run his fingers through his hair, causing it to stand on end wildly. Dill's death and the unraveling of SOLDIER had hit him harder than he'd let on, and Reno was turning to his old self-destructive behaviors, trying to find a way to cope. None of it was working very well or helping Reno to get past his grief, other than a temporary numbness of feeling _anything_. Then the pain would return afresh, and he'd drink more, trying to bury the pain. It was a vicious cycle, one that the Turk had gone through before; usually it wasn't until Reno hit absolute rock bottom, that reality would come and slap him in the face. Or, more often than not, Rude would be the one to pull Reno back from the edge.

" _What the hell am I doing_!" Reno shouted as his fist flew out into the mirror, shattering it into a splintering spider web of broken glass. "Yeah, nice job...you were supposed to get some R  & R...get your head back on, get your shit together, and fucking _look at yourself_ , Reno. Take a _good fucking look_ , do you think drinking and whoring is any way to honor Dill's memory!" His shouts rang off of the tiled walls, making his ears ring. Blood seeped through the jagged cuts on his knuckles, the scarlet fluid dripping onto the white porcelain of the sink. He turned on the taps, rinsing the blood from his hands, watching it as it swirled down the drain. Reno choked back a sob, his chest heaving from the effort of trying to hold it all in.

"Wash away my sins..." Reno whispered, groaning as he heard his cell phone trill. "Thought I turned that fucking thing off," he muttered, wiping his hands on a white hand towel, staining it slightly with blood.

The cell phone began ringing again, and Reno grumbled. _I know it's you, Rude. I **know** it's you._ The thought sobered him up slightly, pulling him out of his despair for but a moment. Reno sighed and pressed the button to take the call.

"Yeah, partner?" Reno said sheepishly, guilt and shame flooding his senses as reality began to sink back in.

* * *

Zack and Cloud fell asleep in one another's arms following their afternoon tryst on the beach, waking up as the tide moved in; the warm water lapped at their feet, rousing them from languorous sleep. Zack stirred with a groan. "Ugh, we gotta move, now," he complained, gently shaking Cloud awake. The blond groaned, feeling groggy after falling asleep in the sun.

"Yeah…tide's coming in," Cloud observed, slipping on a pair of sunglasses as he yawned, shaking the sand out of his flip flops before putting them on again. He blinked, flinching a bit as he felt the soft down of feathers falling upon his bare shoulder.

_Wait….feathers?_ Cloud stared dumbly as the feather floated down into his outstretched hand; he spun around just in time to see the army of Genesis clones advancing upon them on the beach.

"Zack! Behind us!" Cloud shouted. As Zack spun around, his mouth fell open in shock at the sight of the flock of clones - vacant shells, copies of the man they both knew as a friend. It certainly _looked_ like Genesis, but the eyes were dead, cold; soul-less eyes, like the glass eyes of a doll.

"You're not him!" Zack shouted, pulling the rented beach umbrella out of the sand, brandishing it as Cloud scrambled to find something - anything - to use as a weapon. Neither of them had swords on them - they'd had no need for weaponry, or so they thought, for they were on vacation. Who would have thought that the sleepy resort town of Costa del Sol would become the site of a sudden invasion of Genesis clones? He felt foolish and helpless as he scrabbled at the rocks piled near the jetty, throwing them quickly into his beach blanket, intending to use it as a slingshot.

"Zack - be careful!" Cloud shouted as the first clone attacked, staring straight through Zack - as if gazing at nothing, like a robot. _They're not real...they're not really Genesis...they're like puppets, being controlled by his DNA,_ Cloud reminded himself. At least, that was how Lazard and Tseng had explained things to the troops following the attack in Modeoheim.

_Who were these clones?_ Cloud wondered. These copies had once been SOLDIERS like Zack, Cloud realized with a sudden horror. These men - whoever they'd been before had been wiped out, erased with the introduction of injected cells from Genesis now resembled their donor physically; but they were weaker, inferior versions of the original. Hollander, though, had explained some of the process after he'd been detained in Modeoheim. Proclaiming his own genius, Hollander had bragged how his discoveries had enabled him to make "hundreds" of copies of anyone injected with Jenova cells - namely, Angeal and Genesis. Cloud wondered fearfully just how many copies were out there; mindless drones who operated with a hive mind.

The comparative weakness of the Genesis copies would be something that would work to Zack and Cloud's advantage. They had nowhere near Genesis's strength and speed. Cloud saw how clumsy they were in their movements, not graceful as Genesis had been.

"Get back!" Zack shouted, using the beach umbrella as a sort-of bayonet, driving off the copies. "Cloud, a little help! Sling some of those rocks, do something to distract them!" Cloud snapped out of his reverie and quickly got into action, shoving several good size boulders into his beach towel. He wound it up, swinging it around his head in an arc, gathering momentum.

"They're like zombies!" Cloud yelled, bashing the closest copy in the skull with his rock-slingshot. Blood trickled from the wound, and the Genesis copy fell to the ground. On and on they kept up in this fashion, Cloud hitting the copies in the head with his rocks, Zack stabbing at them with the pointed end of the beach umbrella. There seemed to be an endless supply of clones coming out of the sea, and exhaustion soon set in for Cloud. Zack, being mako-enhanced, was having an easier time of it, but even so, he was also becoming wearied.

"Cloud...just hang on..." Zack grunted as he felled the last of the clones. Chest heaving, Zack leaned against the umbrella, surveying the now-abandoned beach. Tourists and native Costans had fled in fear, and the once-pristine white sands of Costa del Sol were now littered with the corpses of nearly a hundred Genesis clones.

"I can't believe...we did it," Cloud wheezed, falling to his knees, sweat dripping into his eyes and stinging them. He blinked a few times to get his eyes focused, and got to his feet, staggering toward Zack. "Zack...is that...is that all of them?"

Zack nodded, holding a strong arm out to help steady Cloud. "Yeah. For now, anyway. Where the hell did they come from, anyway?"

"They just came out of the ocean," Cloud replied, shrugging his shoulders. "But...I don't know how."

"Bet they commandeered one of the Shinra subs," Zack theorized, shaking his head. "Whatever...we don't have time to stand around and figure out how or why they got here. Let's get the hell out of here, Cloud."

"But how?" Cloud asked, worried. "Costa...is pretty much abandoned. Even the rental skiffs are gone, people got out of here as quickly as they could."

"I'll call the Turks, see if we can get a lift in one of the choppers," Zack promised, pulling out his mobile phone, punching in Tseng's number. "Hell, who even knows if Midgar wasn't attacked. These things could be everywhere, for all we know." The thought was a sobering one, and it made Cloud shiver despite being under the broiling Costan sun.

"Gods, I hope not," Cloud muttered. He kept the makeshift slingshot wound up around his hand, just in case, and he saw that Zack hadn't let go of the beach umbrella, even as they walked back up the beach, back toward the town.

"No answer," Zack muttered, shaking his head. He pocketed the phone, and clapped a hand over Cloud's shoulders. "I'll try again later. Let's head out of Costa...we'll have to go on foot until we can't go any further. Closest town is Corel...if we hitchhike south, we'll hit the Cosmo Canyon area - "

"And Gongaga," Cloud interrupted. "Your hometown. Zack, let's go there, please - ?"

"No, Cloud," Zack said firmly. "I want to get back to Midgar, find out what's going on. Don't get me wrong...I want you to meet my parents. But not like this. Not when we're both beaten and bloodied and look like hell - my mom will worry. And she'll give me shit for running away from home to join SOLDIER."

Cloud blinked in surprise. He knew that Zack had left home for Midgar at a very young age, intent on becoming First Class; but what he hadn't known is that Zack slipped off without telling his parents, not wanting them to worry.

"You haven't been home since you left Gongaga, though," Cloud reminded him. "I didn't know you ran away, not exactly...but I remember you telling me that you haven't been home since you left. I bet your parents would love to see you, Zack. I know it's far, but maybe we can hitch a ride - "

"Cloud...babe, don't guilt me like that!" Zack groaned. He pulled Cloud into his side and kissed the top of his head as they made their way past the town wall, leaving Costa del Sol behind. "Someday, I'll take you to Gongaga. I promise."

Zack gave one final, backward glance at Costa, the corpses along the beach finally dissipating and returning to the Lifestream. He lowered his eyes out of sorrow and respect, and sighed.

"Someday, Cloud. But not today."

* * *

Zane stretched and blinked his eyes, half-asleep in the semi-darkness of his room. The luminous digits of his alarm clock appeared blurry when he was not wearing his glasses. Things had felt very strange and quiet without the ever-talkative Dill around. Zane dearly missed his friend and roommate, and he wondered at times if he would even get through the rest of the academic year. It was a thought heavy on the minds of most of the cadets; losing mentors such as Genesis, Angeal, and Sargent Flanard had hurt more than they'd thought it would. The worst thing of all, of course, was losing one of their own, when Dill died. Crazy, lovable Dill.

The figure sleeping next to Zane suddenly stirred, stretching their limbs in a feline fashion. Zane smiled, wrapping his arms around the female, whispering into her ear.

"You shouldn't even be in my room, Quinn," Zane whispered, kissing her earlobe. "Let alone in my bed."

"So?" Quinn shot back. "We're both adults. _Consenting_ adults."

"Females are forbidden on this floor," Zane reminded her. "We'll have to be careful…and quiet. But...it's not like I'm going to throw you out, half-naked."

"I think it's bullshit," Quinn muttered irritably. "Half the guys in the barracks are gay, anyway. Everyone's screwing someone right now, probably. It's a Friday night, after all!" Quinn laughed. She blew a stream of air through her lips, sending a whoosh up through her short bangs as she rolled over, laying her chin on Zane's chest as she studied his expression by the soft neon light of his alarm clock. "Bullshit," she repeated. "Just because I'm a girl, I'm not allowed to be here, with you. And neither am I allowed to _fly a plane_ \- ."

"Not in SOLDIER," Zane corrected her. "Female Turks can fly a chopper, though." He shrugged his shoulders; the rules were idiotic to him as well, but he hadn't given it much thought until he'd met Quinn.

"Pfft," Quinn waved him off. "Forget about a helicopter. I want to fly a cargo plane." She grinned, scooting up a bit as she kissed him softly on the lips.

"Maybe you will...someday," Zane said quietly, his hands sliding up over her backside. He groaned, the heat pooling in him again. "Quinn - Quinn, what are you doing," Zane began to protest, though mildly, as Quinn began to tug on the waistband of Zane's shorts, easing them off.

"Shush, Zane. Just relax. You know...sometimes I wish you'd be a little more spontaneous," Quinn teased, stifling a giggle. "You're so stiff."

"No shit," Zane murmured, amused. "Speaking of…." His voice trailed off as he kicked his boxers down to the floor. "You mean _this_ wasn't spontaneous enough for you?" He grinned, moving his fingers moving over her most sensitive areas. "Or …do you want me to stop?"

"N-no," Quinn gasped, biting her lip as Zane's fingers brushed against her inner thigh, and she felt her breath hitch as his weight settled on top of her. "Don't be a dick, Zane," she added, grinning in the darkness. The mutual attraction between the two cadets had finally come to this, the death of their friend drawing them even closer together as they sought comfort in one another. Quinn was grateful for this, that Zane had finally let her _in_ to his heart, but at the same time felt a twinge of guilt, wondering if it was Dill's death that had been the catalyst, the thing that had finally drawn she and Zane together at last? Quinn smiled, thinking of Dill, ever the matchmaker, still pulling strings to get two of his closest friends together. _Leave it to Dillon_ , she thought, her breath suddenly taken away as Zane's lips met hers in a crushing kiss.

Zane's own pulse was roaring in his ears, his heart thudding in his chest, arms shaking from the effort of propping himself up as he lowered himself down, down into the warmth and the softness of Quinn's young body; a softness that gave way to a pleasant tightness as Zane eased his way in. The friction, the pressure, the emotions that hung heavy between both of them, it was enough to make Zane come right then and there. He sucked in his breath, counting backwards in his head, trying to distract himself from the mind-blowing need for release.

Suddenly he gave Quinn a fearful glance, she'd grown quiet. Was he hurting her? She certainly seemed as though she was enjoying herself, though both of them had to be quiet in the dorm. "Did I hurt you, Quinn?" Zane asked softly, lips brushing over her own. His fingers swept a lock of bangs across her forehead, gleaming blue-black in the dim light of the room.

"You – didn't," Quinn gasped, feeling Zane moving within her. "It's just – fuck, trying to be quiet – "

Zane kissed her forehead and smiled. "I know…it's hard…." He laughed stupidly at the double entendre of his words, and Quinn joined him, chuckling quietly.

"Yes, it is," Quinn purred, grinning. She gave a gasp as her eyes went wide, and she gave Zane a smirk, pulling him into a tighter embrace. Suddenly she felt Zane hesitate, and he stopped his movements. "No. Don't slow down, don't stop. I want more, Zane," Quinn commanded, pulling him down to her, wrapping her legs around the slender hips. "Give me more, give me _all_ of you."

Zane blushed hotly at her insistence, though his desire for her was just as urgent. Quinn, a descendant of Shiva -or so she'd been told by her mother, she didn't exactly put much stock in the old tales - eyes of ice blue, and the once-short pixie haircut had now grown out into an attractive shag hairstyle that was past chin-length and streaked with black and blue highlights.

Zane brushed the hair away from Quinn's eyes and kissed her deeply, before studying her with an odd look in his eye. He shook his head, and gave another quick, deep thrust, eliciting some low moans from Quinn. Zane felt an odd mixture of excitement and trepidation that he was doing something wrong, yet it felt so wonderfully _right_ , perhaps Quinn was actually enjoying herself as much as he was?

A glance at Quinn's face, her mouth slack with passion, head thrown back as she dug her fingers into Zane's smooth back was all the confirmation the cadet needed. Zane felt something break inside of him just then, and he held onto Quinn tightly as the two came together.

"You…" It was all that Zane managed to gasp after they were done, and Quinn lay next to him, her chin resting on his chest.

"Hmm?" Quinn murmured quietly, tracing her finger lightly over Zane's ribcage. She smiled, nuzzling into his warmth, enjoying the feel of his arms around her.

"You," Zane repeated, kissing the top of her head. "It was always _you_ , Quinn. I was too stupid to figure it out, for so long – "

"Well, you finally did, right?" Quinn cut in, smiling. She kissed him softly, then rested her head in the curve of his shoulder. "Zane…let's not go over that again. If there's anything else I've learned in the past few weeks, it's that you shouldn't let regret get in the way of living. Because we may never pass this way again, you know?"

"Yeah…I know," Zane replied, his thoughts drifting back to Dill once again. Crazy, impulsive Dill, who had fallen into a torrid romance with Reno and never once looked back. " _I know_ ," he whispered, cradling Quinn's head to his chest. Zane's eyes grew heavy, and soon the sound of Quinn's light snoring began to lull him to sleep.

They would wake with a jolt several hours later when the alarms began to sound.

"Shit!" Quinn cursed, gathering her clothing. " _Shit_! Is this a drill? That isn't the fire alarm!"

"No," Zane muttered, stone-faced as he blindly grabbed for his eyeglasses, quickly pulling on his clothing. "Those are the air-raid sirens. I hope to hell it's just a test – "

"But it's the middle of the night!" Quinn cried. "What is going on in Midgar?"

"I don't know," Zane muttered, shaking his head. "I don't know. Come on, let's find out." Both were now hastily dressed, and wandered out into the hallway where other bleary-eyed cadets had gathered. Quinn was surprised to see that she was not the only female on the floor; others had been caught off guard as she had been. She nodded at Harmony Halcyon, another fellow female cadet who was in m. Quinn wasn't about to ask Harmony what she was doing there, since the floor that was restricted to men only and she didn't belong there herself.

Instead, Quinn inched closer to Harmony and clasped her forearm, smiling. "I'm glad you're here," she whispered to the other girl. The two quickly turned around to a loud voice coming from behind them.

"The hell is going on?" Theron, one of the senior cadets demanded loudly. "Who pulled the alarm?"

"I did," Kunsel suddenly appeared in the hallway and signaled for everyone for quiet.

"Everyone….listen…there's been an attack in Costa del Sol," Kunsel announced. "Some Genesis copies invaded the beach there…eyewitnesses said they came straight out of the sea. Midgar and all other major cities are now on high alert. All cadets are to assemble outside of the VR training room in ten minutes. Sephiroth will be addressing everyone there. We'll be sending a team to Costa del Sol, and one to Nibelheim, where other Genesis copies have been sighted."

"An attack on Costa!" Quinn hissed under her breath at Zane and Harmony, her face bore a worried look. "That's where Cloud and Zack were going! Oh, Zane….do you think they're okay?"

"Gods, I hope so," Zane replied, groaning. "I sure hope so." He gave both Quinn and Harmony a helpless look as he shrugged his shoulders. "I wonder where they'll be sending us?"

"Guess we'll see what Sephiroth has to say in a few," Quinn whispered, a feeling of foreboding tugging at her thoughts.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, I know….I was mean to Reno here. However, I see him as the type who acts like nothing outwardly bothers him, then goes and works it out in private by engaging in self-destructive behavior. And yes, Rude will be giving him a lecture in the next chapter!
> 
> Reviews are lovely if you are so inclined! Thank you all, dear readers, for your support on this and my other works. The next chapter of Pictures of You will bring the action to Nibelheim; as in the game, this will be the turning point of the story, and full of angst. I've got some of this and subsequent chapters written already, and I know the remainder may be very tough to write. Thanks for your patience to those who have been following this from the beginning.


	20. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter - small warning for language. Lyrics quoted within are attributed to the artist, they are referenced here merely to set the mood. Once again referencing CyberSolider's OC Harmony in this chapter, with her permission. I do not own anything other than my own OC's.

* * *

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And my scars remind me that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel

**"Scars" – Papa Roach**

* * *

Reno knew it was Rude, just _knew_ , even before the door flew open and he saw the bald man standing there, his glare obvious even behind the darkened shades. Who else but Rude would show up in a helicopter and just barge in like that? Reno felt an odd mix of annoyance and gratitude toward his taciturn partner. This wasn't the first time Rude had bailed his ass out, and it might not be the last, given Reno's penchant for self-destructive coping mechanisms.

Not very long after getting the phone call from his partner, Reno woke from a half-drunken haze; the sound of the rotors of the chopper quickly jarred him out of his stupor and he fell over his feet in his haste to get to the door before his partner could bust on in.

"Come on, Rude, let me get decent," Reno whined, shamefaced. "Look, I'm fucking hung-over - I've been sleeping it off for a bit – come back later, when I'm sober - "

"No," Rude growled, grabbing Reno by his bony shoulders, hustling him toward the bathroom.

"Rude! Knock it off!" Reno spluttered, water choking him as his partner thrust his head into a sink full of ice cold water. "Look, I know I gotta sober up, but shit, man! Can't you just get me a coffee?" "Hey! Watch it!" Reno snapped. "What the hell, Rude! I'm on vacation, ya know. What's the big idea?"

Rude didn't answer; he merely grunted and shoved Reno - clad in sparse silk boxers and nothing else - into the shower, turning the taps to where the water was barely below scalding. "The big idea, Reno, is that bad shit went down in Costa, and the Turks are on the clock. Which is why I'm here to sober up your drunken ass and fly us back."

Reno howled as the hot water hit his chilled skin, causing him to hiss. "What the fuck, Rude! Fine, fine…vacation's over, I get it – but this is no way to sober a guy up! Now…how about some fuckin' coffee!"

"You can have coffee after you've cleaned yourself up," Rude said with a disgusted grunt, pulling the sliding glass door of the shower closed, essentially trapping his partner inside. He knew Reno hated this treatment, but desperate times called for desperate measures, Rude figured. Rude had just gotten the summons from Tseng to retrieve Reno out of Mideel, and to use Tseng's words, the order had been to "sober Reno up, using any means possible."

Rude was more than up for the task, as unwelcome as it was. Nor was it the first time he'd been assigned to such a duty. "Never gonna learn, are you, Reno?" Rude said calmly, folding his arms across his chest as he stood watch, smirking as his partner scowled at him through the sliding glass door of the shower.

"Get off my back," Reno snapped, glowering, though he resolutely began scrubbing himself clean. His raw knuckles, cut open from his mishap with the mirror, had ceased bleeding but still stung from where the steamy water hit them.

He knew he'd blown it yet again; in trying to heal his wounded heart Reno had gone much farther than he should have, trying to mask the pain. Trying to forget the hurt...to forget Dill.

 _Thing is, I can't seem to do that_ , Reno thought to himself, letting the steam from the hot shower envelop his head in a thick fog. _I see his face - taking his dying breaths - everywhere I look. How am I supposed to remember you, Dill...When you won't let me forget?_ Reno shook his head, the water falling off of him in rivulets. With his hand, he wiped the fog away from the glass door of the shower, peering out at Rude, who was still standing guard to make sure Reno didn't do anything _stupid_.

Reno felt all at once ashamed of what he'd done, and determined to make it better. He owed that much to the memory of Dill, and his fellow Turks. Still, he could not resist having the last word, and an impish grin crept over Reno's face.

"Hey….Rude!" Reno shouted, getting the other man's attention.

"Hmm?" Rude grunted, quirking an eyebrow. He groaned as he saw Reno's finger drawing through the steam, writing backwards on the shower door.

_F-U-C-K_

_Y-O-U_

_R-U-D-E_

"Idiot!" Rude bellowed as he jerked the shower door open slightly – just enough so he could reach in and cut off the hot water. "Quit clowning around in there, we have a mission to do!" Rude barked.

Reno screamed as the water went from pleasantly warm to ice cold. "Fine! I'm almost done, just don't pull that shit again!" Reno yelled, re-adjusting the taps to his liking. For the first time since he'd arrived in Mideel…Reno smiled. Ribbing Rude like this was childish, but it cheered him nonetheless, pulling him out of the fog of depression he'd been wallowing in.

"So what's the mission, yo?" Reno shouted over the noise of the shower as he readied himself.

"Retrieval," Rude replied, raising his voice so he could be heard. "Costa del Sol's been attacked…by Genesis copies. Zack and Cloud have been spotted on radar – they're on foot, headed south."

Reno gasped and the bar of soap easily slipped from his hands. "Shit…Costa? Rude, is your ma okay?" he asked, worried. He knew Rude was a Costan native, and though he'd moved to Midgar many years before to join up with the Turks, Rude's mother had remained behind, in the small, ramshackle beach house Rude had grown up in.

"Ma's fine," Rude assured him. "Tseng flew in and got her to safety. I was already on my way here, to pick up _your_ sorry ass, otherwise I would have done it. She's safe….she's at my flat back in Midgar, for now."

"Oh," Reno said dully, a flush creeping over his cheeks as the sense of shame returned. So caught up had Reno been in his own pain that he'd blocked out the outside world, and hadn't realized until Rude showed up just how bad things were back on the mainland. Reno quickly dispensed with his shower, and rested his forehead briefly against the cool ceramic tiled wall as he shut off the water.

Reno emerged and quickly toweled off, glancing at Rude who remained where he'd been, standing in the doorway.

"Brought you a spare suit," Rude said quietly. "Left it on the bed. You've got five minutes to get ready."

Reno smirked and stuck out his tongue as he grabbed the hair-dryer, blasting Rude in the face with it.

"Don't worry, partner," Reno told Rude, lowering the hair dryer, his expression growing more serious. "I'll be ready. You're flying, though."

Rude smacked the hair dryer away, frowning. " _Obviously_ I'm the one flying. Only one of us in this room is relatively sober." Rude felt somewhat reassured that Reno was beginning to sober up after the hot-and-cold shower treatment, and he nodded at his partner.

"Look, Tseng didn't send me here to babysit you, so I'll give you some privacy to let you get dressed. Don't want to see your pale, scrawny ass anyway," Rude added, smirking.

"Oh, you know you want it, Rude!" Reno shouted above the din of the hair dryer. He smiled as he busied himself getting his long mop of hair dried, and hummed a little tune as he got himself dressed.

_This is just the thing I need, to keep my mind off of shit. Back to work. Got a mission to do now, I've got to get my head out of my ass, and focus._

Reno hoisted his mag-rod over his shoulder and gave Rude a mock-salute.

"Ready when you are…partner."

* * *

Back in Midgar, Sephiroth had appeared in the VR training room, and all the cadets were assembled, nervously waiting for the famed Silver General to speak.

"Something bad must have happened," Quinn whispered to Zane. "Do you think Cloud and Zack…" She looked at both Harmony and Zane, unable to finish the sentence or the thought.

"No," Zane replied, a bit too quickly. "No. They're fine, Quinn. They _have_ to be fine. Shh, Sephiroth's about to speak."

Sephiroth stood there calmly, calling for silence, and all of the cadets quickly complied, a hush falling over the crowd. "Cadets and infantrymen….as some of you may have already heard, there's been an attack over Costa del Sol, by what we are calling 'Genesis copies.' Now...this appears to be some type of cloning project of Professor Hollander's that has gotten terribly out of control. This was not sanctioned by Shinra," Sephiroth added firmly. That had been the official story Sephiroth had been given, anyway, and he'd had no reason to doubt the President's word; but that left the very curious question in the back of the General's mind: if Shinra, Inc., wasn't bankrolling this research, who _was_? It was not something Sephiroth had much time to ponder, as he had to get the troops out to their assigned duties.

A hand shot up, and Cadet Mason spoke out. "Sir? Are we dealing with actual _clones_ of General Rhapsodos?"

"Please...hold all questions until later," Sephiroth admonished the young man. "However, to briefly touch upon your inquiry - yes and no. According to Professor Hojo, these are mutated clones we're dealing with. The original host bodies for these Genesis copies - most were former members of SOLDIER. Amongst the bodies recovered in Costa, we have found the remains of our own Lieutenant Runderson..." Sephiroth's voice trailed off as he listed countless other names, members of SOLDIER, both past and present.

Quinn gasped audibly as she heard the names being rattled off. "Not Runderson! No! This is insane...how did Hollander get away with this?"

"I don't know, I never liked the guy," Zane whispered. "Something about him I couldn't trust. Same with Professor Hojo, really." Quinn put an arm around Harmony as she visibly shuddered at the mention of Hojo's name.

"I know, Harmony...Hojo gives me the creeps too," Quinn whispered. "Ever since that shit happened with Cloud, where he tried to pump him full of Mako - " She stopped, realizing that Harmony didn't know about that. Quinn herself had only heard about it secondhand from Dill, who had witnessed the whole thing.

"Well, all I know is, Cloud had a really bad reaction to it," Quinn went on to explain. "But he could also tolerate higher amounts without...mutating, for some reason." She shivered at the very thought. "I don't think it's the best idea they've had here, injecting cadets and SOLDIERS with raw mako," Quinn opined.

Now the cadets were being given their orders, and Zane was being ushered away into one squadron along with Harmony, while Quinn was being assigned to squadron B, a smaller group of infantry than squadron A.

"The ban on women in combat has been lifted, per President Shinra," Sephiroth announced. "This is an emergency; we need every man and woman in the company to assist in this mission. Squadron A, you will be sent out to Costa del Sol to help with the relief effort going on there. Citizens are starting to return to their homes, and you are to act as peacekeeping officers there, dispatching of any monsters that may return."

"Squadron B," Sephiroth announced, fixing his unflinching green eyes upon the group. "Tomorrow, at oh-eight-hundred hours, our group will be sent to Nibelheim, to investigate some reports of monsters near Mako reactor 5. There is also a rumor going around amongst the villagers that Genesis was spotted in the area near Mount Nibel."

Zane's eyes widened at the last remark, and he turned to Quinn, unable to help the worried look upon his face. How quickly things had changed, Zane thought ruefully. _Used to think Quinn was a pain in the ass, until I realized I was just scared of getting too close to her. Scared of losing her._

"Be careful out there, Quinn," Zane murmured softly, barely turning his head to look at her. He couldn't bring himself to look right at her; Zane knew both of their missions would be equally dangerous, and there was some small protective and paternalistic streak in him, though he knew Quinn would protest mightily that she didn't need _anyone's_ protection.

"I'll be fine, Zane,' Quinn said lightly, smiling a bit at him. "I'll be on General Sephiroth's team after all. What could possibly go wrong with the General in charge?"

Zane nodded, returning the smile reluctantly. "Yeah...General Sephiroth is a brilliant leader. I'm sure your mission will go smoothly in Nibelheim. Quinn...I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Zane," Quinn said quietly. She brushed her hand against his arm before turning to go. "Good luck, to both of you," she added, giving Harmony a smile. It would, of course, be Harmony's first mission as well, Quinn could sense her fellow cadet's nerves and excitement over the upcoming mission. Part of Quinn wondered suspiciously about the President's sudden willingness to let female recruits serve in combat missions; she shook off the feelings of trepidation as she headed back to her room to get her gear packed and ready for the next day. The young cadet felt determined that she would prove herself out in the field just as she'd already done academically.

 _Who knows...maybe someday they'll even let females into the SOLDIER program,_ Quinn thought hopefully as she packed extra rations and clothing into her duffel bag. _There's females amongst the Turks, so why not SOLDIER?_ She reasoned. For the first time in a long time, Quinn felt hopeful about her future. This was all she'd ever asked for, was the opportunity, a chance to prove herself worthy enough to be called Shinra's elite. And now, she would finally realize that chance.

* * *

Several hours later, Reno and Rude were flying north from Mideel, back toward the mainland. Reno sat in the co-pilot's seat while Rude calmly banked the helicopter down once they'd crossed the ocean.

"Going to do a fly-over of North Corel, then to Gold Saucer area," Rude told Reno, who had pulled out his binoculars and was scanning the ground for the two missing men, squinting hard from the sun's glare through the windscreen of the helicopter.

"Damn sun is making it hard to see," Reno muttered, pulling down his tinted goggles, and then lifting the binoculars to his eyes once again. "Hold on...I see movement, Rude - down there, bank hard right!" Reno shouted excitedly, waggling his finger as he pointed. "Over there, I see them!"

Rude quickly complied and Reno took a closer look, groaning when he realized what it was he'd actually spotted. "Shit. It's not even them. It's...it's a flock of wild chocobos."

Rude chuckled. "So...you mean to tell me that you can't tell the difference between Zack Fair and a chocobo?" he teased.

Reno eye-rolled at Rude and grinned. "Yeah, well...his hair's kind of unruly."

"So is yours," Rude reminded Reno, bringing the helicopter back around for a second swoop.

"Ey, Rude! Don't be a dick," Reno said, extending his middle finger at his partner without even looking at him. He peered out the window again, looking through the binoculars for any sign of the two they were searching for.

"Wait, Rude! Back to the left - you see that!" Reno exclaimed, pointing. Rude nodded and brought the helicopter over to the other side.

"Yeah. I see them. Well, I see two people walking, can't make out much more detail than that," Rude remarked. "Coming round from the right, confirming sighting."

"Bring us down, Rudy," Reno said, grinning. "I think it's them, yo. Hope we don't scare the shit out of them, but they must have figured someone would come looking for them, sooner or later."

* * *

Cloud and Zack were bruised and sore, their feet throbbing from all the miles they'd walked since fleeing Costa. Sunburn was beginning to color Cloud's nose and cheeks, while Zack's skin was turning a rather attractive bronze shade.

"Well...we got to work on our tans some, walking out in the countryside like this," Zack commented, giving Cloud a tired grin. "Hey, Spikes - you okay? You got all quiet on me."

"I'm fine," Cloud assured him, unable to suppress a yawn. "Well - I'm tired, but it's been a long day."

"No shit. It sure has been," Zack muttered, shifting and cracking his neck to the side, groaning as he did so. "Want to stop and rest?"

"No, let's keep going," Cloud insisted, even though his body really did need a break.. "We can rest later."

"We need some water, Cloud. Let's just stop for a minute and I'll get the canteen out," Zack said, his head snapping up toward the sky as he heard the unmistakable sound of rotors. "Hey! Over here!" he shouted, waving his arms around. "Cloud, it must be the Turks - I see the Shinra logo on the side - "

"Oh, thank Shiva," Cloud muttered, stumbling a bit as he and Zack backed up several yards, allowed the chopper to land. They both squinted and shielded their eyes with raised hands as the whirring rotors stirred up sand and dust, approaching the helicopter once Rude had cut the power to the rotors.

"Man, am I glad to see you guys," Zack murmured as Reno exited the hatch, grabbing both of their duffel bags to throw into the cargo hold.

"Reno, weren't you just in Mideel?" Cloud asked the Turk as he clambered into the helicopter. "What happened?" Reno shrugged his shoulders and sighed, flopping back into his seat.

"Vacay got cut a bit short, on account of those clones attacking in Costa," Reno explained. He fought the urge to sniff under his arms, praying he didn't stink of booze, cigarettes, and sex as he had when Rude had come to collect him. "Sephiroth's addressing the troops now…Rude and I will bring you up to speed on everything as we head back to Midgar." The dull pain of a hangover-induced headache throbbed steadily, making Reno's temples pound with each pulse of his heartbeat.

"You okay, Reno?" Zack asked the Turk, yawning. "You look a little rough around the edges."

"Partied a little too hard in Mideel is all," Reno said dismissively, giving Rude a look as he pulled his headset back on. "Back to work, yo. You guys look a little banged up yourselves, though I suppose I can guess why. Did the Genesis copies turn on ya?"

Cloud and Zack nodded vigorously, both suddenly aware of all the cuts and bruises they'd received during the skirmish. "Yeah...couldn't get away in time, the attack came from the sea, no warning at all," Zack told Reno and Rude. "Didn't even have our swords, they're back in Midgar. How's that for stupid?" Zack shook his head, annoyed that they'd been caught unprepared like that. "I tell you what, I am never traveling without my weapon again, even if I'm on a pleasure cruise."

"Yeah, the copies didn't seem to care that we were on vacation," Cloud observed with a dry chuckle. "We found what we could for weapons - I made a slingshot, and Zack fought some of them off with a beach umbrella - "

"No shit?" Reno cut in, visibly impressed with their resourcefulness. Rude made a quiet noise of approval. "Sword would have been better, and a materia-equipped one even better than that. But I guess you guys did all right…you're alive."

"My sword..." Cloud groaned, head leaning softly against Zack's shoulder. "My brand new sword that you gave me, Zack - is it still in your locker?"

"Yeah, I locked it up before we left for Costa," Zack replied, glancing out the window as Rude banked the helicopter around, circling wide as he embarked upon a flight path back across the ocean, headed east toward Midgar. "It's...right next to Angeal's sword."

"Oh," Cloud said in a hollow tone. He sighed, slumping slightly in his seat, stomach growling audibly. How long had it been since they'd last eaten? Adrenaline had suppressed all else during the height of the battle, and now the two weary men were feeling the effects of hunger, sunburn and exhaustion. Cloud hoped they'd at least have time for a hot shower, food, and some time to rest upon their return. He felt Zack's hand falling heavily upon his knee and smiled, letting his lover lean into him. Zack was tired as well, but it was nothing that a quick nap wouldn't cure.

"So, Reno..." Zack drawled. "What's going on in Costa? Is Lazard sending anyone?"

"Yeah, that's what I gotta fill you guys in about," Reno replied, turning in his seat to glance over his shoulder. "Two troops are being dispatched - Squadron A is already heading to Costa as we speak. Relief effort, mainly, and taking care of any other...problems. Squadron B is going to be headed up by you, Zack, and Sephiroth. Cloud, you're going too, along with several other infantry and cadets."

"I am?" Cloud expressed surprise. "Where is Squadron B heading to?"

"Nibelheim," Reno said matter-of-factly, unaware that it was Cloud's hometown. "You guys will have time to get a bit of rest tonight, we don't leave until first light tomorrow."

"Huh, Nibelheim," Zack remarked. "Wonder what's going on there?" he wondered idly.

"Something about monsters, I guess," Reno offered vaguely. "Oh, and a few people think they saw Genesis, but we're not sure if it's just more of them damned copies, or if it's the real deal. Listen, Sephiroth will fill you in on the details, I'm sure. We're just your overpaid chauffeurs in this endeavor," he added teasingly.

Zack laughed, resting his head back against the seat, his hand still resting upon Cloud's knee. He gave the knee a firm squeeze and smiled over at Cloud, too tired to care who saw the small display of affection. Not that it was any huge secret by now that they were an item.

"Nibelheim tomorrow, Cloud," Zack said under his breath. "Your hometown. Maybe you'll be able to visit your mom while we're there?"

"I'd love that," Cloud admitted. "I haven't seen her in so long. I'd...like for _you_ to meet her too, Zack," the cadet added shyly.

"I'm sure we can arrange something once we get there," Zack rejoined, smiling at Cloud. "I'd like to meet her too. Hey, maybe this mission won't be so bad after all, yeah? Quick trip out, we'll confirm whether or not there's monsters….and have a nice visit with your mom while we're there. Cloud?" Zack nudged at his companion when he got no response, and smiled when he saw that the cadet had nodded off to sleep.

"Hey, guys – I'm going to close my eyes for a bit, too," Zack told Reno and Rude. "Wake us when we get to Midgar?"

"You got it," Reno said brightly as he raised the can of energy drink Rude had thoughtfully left for him in the cup-holder, giving Rude a silent toast.

"Thanks, partner," Reno said quietly, lowering his voice. "For bailing my ass out yet again."

"You're welcome," Rude replied, suddenly feeling oddly embarrassed. "Just…don't do it again."

"I won't, man," Reno vowed. "I promise."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was perhaps not the most interesting, plot-wise, but of course a lot of this is setting up for the big turning point in Nibelheim in the next chapter. I'd originally intended to have them jump right to Nibelheim in this chapter, but it made more sense to split the action up into two sections instead. I hope this makes for better and more enjoyable reading for all.
> 
> Finally, thank you so much to all who have followed, faved, and commented on this story since I first posted it nearly three years ago! It's one of my most popular stories on this site, and it is thanks to all of you lovely reviewers and fans that I keep plugging on.
> 
> As always, please leave a review if you are so inclined after reading. I love hearing from you all, constructive criticism and praise alike!


	21. I'm Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Nibelheim, Cloud keeps avoiding Tifa, much to Zack's frustration.

_I could be right, I could be wrong_   
_It hurts so bad it's been so long_   
_Mama, I'm comin' home_

**Mama I'm Coming Home - Ozzy Osbourne**

* * *

There was not much down time to be had at all before setting out to Nibelheim, but Zack and Cloud made the best of it once they returned to Midgar. The campus was abuzz with activity, with half of the barracks noticeably empty once Squadron A had left to begin the peacekeeping effort in Costa del Sol.

Zack and Cloud quickly showered upon their return to their quarters, and went down to the cafeteria for some much needed food. Zack grinned as he saw Cloud loading his tray with huge portions.

"Apparently you're hungry after our little adventure?" Zack commented dryly, mischief lighting his eyes. Though both of them were bone-tired, the shower had refreshed them momentarily.

"You could say that," Cloud replied, grinning. He gave Quinn a nod as she grabbed her own tray and got into the chow line behind him.

"So...Quinn, you're still here, that tells me you must be going to Nibelheim too?" Cloud asked her. The girl nodded affirmatively.

"Yep!" Quinn replied eagerly. "First real mission for me. I can't believe they lifted the restrictions against allowing females," she added soberly, using tongs to grab a slab of spare ribs from the hot foods section. "I guess that shows how serious the situation is...all hands on deck," she quipped.

"Seems that way," Zack agreed, helping himself to several cheeseburgers. "Um - I think four cheeseburgers is a bit greedy of me, hmm?" He laughed, putting one of the foil-wrapped sandwiches back into the warming tray. "I'll only take three."

"Very conservative," Cloud said, chuckling. "We haven't eaten in nearly a day, though. I'm unbelievably hungry."

"I heard about what happened in Costa," Quinn said cautiously, following Zack and Cloud over to a small corner table and joining them. "Are you guys okay?"

"Well, we're alive," Zack said dryly, shrugging his shoulders. "Tired, but we'll manage. It was just bizarre. Hell, everything is bizarre lately...it's like the world has gone upside down. Angeal's gone, Genesis - well, I'm not really sure of his status, really. We thought he fell to his death in Modeoheim. But now some villagers in Nibelheim think they saw him."

"It certainly looked like he did," Cloud commented, nodding and chewing thoughtfully. "No human could survive a fall like that...he went into an abyss. I couldn't even see to the bottom, I looked over the rail after he jumped down from there."

"Well...to be fair, Genesis isn't entirely human, and neither is Angeal," Zack interjected wearily. "I have no idea what Hollander was thinking. Quinn, you've been briefed on all of this, I hope?" Zack said suddenly, unaware if Squadron A had been completely filled in.

"We have been, yeah," Quinn nodded. "General Sephiroth addressed us after the others left. It seems there aren't very many of us going to Nibelheim."

"No, there aren't," Zack agreed. "Sephiroth left a copy of the roster under my door. Just me, the general you guys, and another trooper...Weingarten, I think. Everyone else is in Costa. I wonder how they're doing out there."

* * *

Sephiroth was back in his quarters, drinking from his cup of Wutaian loose-leaf tea that had long gone cold. He inhaled the smoky aroma of the tea leaves, recalling that day when he'd been gifted the tea by his lover.

 _Former_ lover, Sephiroth reminded himself. He sighed, not out of sadness or melancholy, just from the unfortunate realization that the dalliance with Kunsel was now over. There had been no real love between the two men; at least not on Sephiroth's part, but there had been _some_ sort of affection. _Friends with benefits_ , Kunsel had termed it. And for some time, Sephiroth had thought he needed someone to keep an eye on Zack and the young cadet he'd taken up with - Cloud Strife of Nibelheim.

"Hmm...Cloud Strife," Sephiroth said out loud, in the quiet stillness of his darkened quarters. He recalled the cadet in a cursory fashion, remembering Cadet Fredo's assault on the young man, and all the paperwork that ensued after the latter's expulsion. _Not an easy start to the year for a first-year cadet, certainly_ , Sephiroth thought. _How he and Zack ended up as a couple_ \- Sephiroth shook his head, puzzling that one out. He did not understand romantic attachments in general, and did not really desire such a relationship himself; Sephiroth had found that the closer he grew to someone, the more stifling it became; the more he would want to break free. Kunsel had not exactly been needy, but he'd wanted that which Sephiroth could not give. He wanted more than just the occasional roll in the hay.

 _Love_. Sephiroth pondered the word curiously, rolling it over in his mind. It was an emotion the general supposed he was incapable of feeling, or bestowing those feelings upon another. He supposed he loved Genesis and Angeal in the bonds of friendship and brotherhood in SOLDIER, but that was different. They were comrades-at-arms, not lovers. Toward Kunsel, he'd felt desire - and fond affection - but that was it. Sephiroth's did not yearn for the man's presence all the time, as Zack seemed to do with his young lover.

And even though Kunsel had respected Sephiroth enough to give him his space when he needed it, it was still not enough. Sephiroth preferred his solitary existence, peppered here and there by liaisons with men and women he did not feel any real attachment to.

He began to draw away from Kunsel, despite bearing no ill will toward the man. Sephiroth felt...nothing. The general began to wonder if that was normal, this feeling of detachment from everyone with whom he'd had a liaison. Seeing Cloud and Zack together, no longer hiding their relationship, -it made Sephiroth step outside of himself for a moment. It was not something he was accustomed to, this self-analysis. How many times had Hojo sent him for a psych work up – and how many times had Sephiroth played mental hopscotch with the shrink, deflecting those probing questions with a practiced ease, as if it were an actual chess game and not a session with a psychoanalyst.

_Checkmate._

Sephiroth was wary by nature, and simply would not let anyone _in_. Genesis and Angeal were the only two in the world that he considered his friends, the only two he'd ever allowed himself that emotional attachment to, and now…now they were gone from his life. Angeal, it was certain, was gone forever, returned to the Lifestream, though it was uncertain if any clones of the First Class remained within the realm of the living. Sephiroth held a small amount of hope that they would find Genesis in Nibelheim, but logic told the general that this was, in all likelihood, just another sighting of a Genesis copy, and not the man himself.

Once Cloud and company had returned from the ill-fated mission to Modeoheim, Sephiroth knew that Strife was now privy to certain information by default, as was everyone else in that squadron. Information that had previously been classified; information that Sephiroth had feared an impetuous Zack Fair would blurt out indiscriminately to his lover.

And now that Sephiroth had addressed all of the Academy's cadets and SOLDIERS alike, the general realized that there was no longer any need to have Kunsel tailing Zack and Cloud as a precaution. He'd told Kunsel as much himself, just prior to the assembly.

"I won't be needing you anymore, Kunsel," Sephiroth had said lightly, not realizing the loaded entendre of his words until he saw the Second's face fall. "What I mean to say, is - you won't need to monitor Fair and Strife any longer. Being that Strife was on the Modeoheim mission, it seems rather obvious that he knows everything that had previously been classified. We are all in this together now," he added, hoping to bolster Kunsel's morale with that statement.

"Understood, sir," Kunsel had said, saluting the general before being dismissed, and the SOLDIER did understand all too well. He'd been used and discarded, just as he knew he might be when taking up with the general.

What Kunsel hadn't predicted, was just how much it would sting his pride when the affair came to an end. It was with some shame and embarrassment that he found himself at the general's apartment that evening prior to the mission to Nibelheim, knocking softly upon the door. Kunsel knew the general was not expecting him, but the latest info he'd uncovered - well, it just had to be shared, and it was something that couldn't wait until Sephiroth came back.

"Kunsel...what brings you here?" Sephiroth said upon opening the door, surprised to have anyone calling on him at this hour.

"I have some intel you need to hear, sir," Kunsel replied, hiding his eyes behind the helmet that he wore all the time now - mainly to avoid Sephiroth's searing gaze. "I'm sorry, it couldn't wait."

"Please, come in," Sephiroth said congenially, gesturing. "You may remove your helmet, you know...you're off duty," he added, smiling slightly.

Kunsel stiffened; was that a come-on? No...it couldn't be. Their little 'friends with benefits' arrangement had come to an abrupt end, and Sephiroth had made that very plain. "It's fine, sir. I'm not here for a social visit," Kunsel replied, flinching at how clipped and abrupt he sounded.

"Very well," Sephiroth answered, shrugging his shoulders. He knew then that he'd hurt the SOLDIER's pride, but there was nothing he could do about that now. "There is something you wish me to know?"

"Yes," Kunsel replied, nodding. "I've uncovered some interesting information...the name of the one who was funding Hollander's research."

Sephiroth's brows shot up in surprise. "Who? Is it anyone I know?" The question drew a smirk from Kunsel.

"Indeed you do," Kunsel said, enjoying these few moments of keeping Sephiroth in suspense. "It's been Director Lazard all along."

"Lazard!" Sephiroth exclaimed, truly shocked by the revelation. "And where is Lazard now? Has he returned from his trip?" The last Sephiroth had heard, Lazard had been accompanying some of the Seconds and Thirds on a brief trip to Junon Harbor.

"He never returned," Kunsel said thickly. "Lazard was due back today, and the Seconds and Thirds who were with him have just reported that Director Lazard did not meet them when he was supposed to, for the return trip to Midgar.

"Unless there is some satisfactory explanation for his disappearance, I suppose we can assume that he has defected from Shinra as well," Sephiroth mused, shaking his head with disapproval. "What sort of madness is going on here!" the general exclaimed angrily, striking his fist against the wall. He sighed, and gave Kunsel an appreciative nod.

"You've done well, Kunsel," Sephiroth murmured. "And I thank you for your loyalty...it is something which seems to be in short supply these days."

Kunsel shrugged, his face flushing a bit under the helmet. "Just doing my job, sir."

Sephiroth placed both hands on Kunsel's shoulders, forcing him to face him. "But it was a bit more than that for you, wasn't it?" the general whispered, stepping forward. He tipped his head down and gave the SOLDIER a slow yet chaste kiss.

"I am sorry I could not be what you needed, Kunsel," Sephiroth whispered. "Sometimes I do wonder...if I am even capable of loving another." It was a thought he hadn't meant to say out loud, not to Kunsel especially, but there it was; he'd given voice to the thing that had been plaguing him lately.

"Um...sir?" Kunsel stammered; he was starting to feel really uncomfortable now with this sudden turn in the conversation. "I'd better get going. Good luck in Nibelheim tomorrow...Sephiroth."

Sephiroth closed his eyes briefly, then opened them, nodding as he ushered Kunsel out. "Thank you, Kunsel. I shall brief the others in the morning. Good night." It was with a heavy sigh that Sephiroth fastened and locked the door after Kunsel's departure. This was all for the best, wasn't it? It hadn't been right in the first place, really, to use the Second Class in that fashion.

 _But...we needed each other, for a time. Each for our own purpose, but it seems that time has passed._ The question buzzed again in Sephiroth's brain like angry bees, and he wished he'd had the power to physically swat those intrusive thoughts away, scattering them.

_Am I not capable of love, of romantic attachment to another? Will it always be so - brief, torrid affairs to satiate my physical needs, want shrouded in lust, only to be terminated when I've grown tired of my lover's mere presence?_

He remembered Genesis's counsel on the subject some months ago. Genesis, the only one he'd confided in about such matters. Sephiroth chuckled darkly at the recollection.

_"I've done some reading on the subject of love," Sephiroth had told Genesis. "Such a fascinating human emotion."_

_Genesis had laughed out loud at this. "You speak of it in such a cold, abstract fashion, Sephiroth. Are you not human yourself?" he'd said in a teasing tone._

_Sephiroth thought nothing of it at the time, but merely laughed along with Genesis, self-deprecatingly._ _"Of course I am," he scoffed. "I daresay I am more of a man than you are," Sephiroth had taunted, knowing exactly which buttons to press where Genesis was concerned._ But then, Genesis's tone grew serious.

_"There are those who would say I am in love with myself," Genesis had said with a laugh and a wave of his gloved hand. "And perhaps that is true, to a point. I am terribly vain, you know." Genesis smirked again; another sardonic grin that gave way to a brilliant smile. "But men of SOLDIER, such as we...do not think for one moment that we must harden our hearts to stone in order to remain in control. There is no shame in loving another; in needing someone so terribly that you can taste their name on your lips when they are gone from you. The trick is not to lose your sense of who you are, even if you give your heart to another."_

_"You speak so passionately, Genesis," Sephiroth had praised him. "I admire that about you. I just don't know - "_

_"Bah, you're overanalyzing again, Sephiroth! Love is love. If it is meant to happen, it will just happen. Not everything in life requires your military strategizing skills. Just let go, and live a little. Look at the Puppy, for instance. Threw himself at that unsuspecting cadet, wearing his heart on his sleeve like an ingénue, and now they're inseparable. Despite their great efforts to keep their romance covert, they are failing miserably," Genesis sniggered devilishly._

_"I had wondered about those two," Sephiroth had said. "So it is true. I do hope...that Zack doesn't reveal anything he shouldn't."_

_"Sephiroth, please," Genesis deadpanned. "If only you knew how many military secrets have been divulged in those barracks across a shared pillow."_

Sephiroth realized now how terribly he missed his friends. Despite all that he knew now - Genesis's betrayal and desertion, his seeming madness - Sephiroth dearly missed his friend and confidante. And he also missed Angeal's steady nature, his strict sense of moral code, that dry sense of humor.

He lay in bed that night, unable to sleep, wondering if they would find Genesis in Nibelheim the next day, or would this be another red herring. And Sephiroth wondered just what he might say to the man if he did come face-to-face with him once again; the man he considered both a traitor to SOLDIER - and a friend.

* * *

The next morning, Cloud was actually awake before the alarm sounded; and before Zack. He was bristling with nervous anticipation over this mission - a return to his hometown. He'd been worrying about running into certain people there he'd grown up with. Namely, a few bullies who had given him trouble all along for being the smallest kid in class; but most of all, he feared facing his childhood friend. The proverbial 'girl next door' - one Tifa Lockhart.

She was the prettiest girl in all of Nibelheim, and there had been a time when Cloud had dreamed of winning her heart. Even as Cloud grew older, and he realized his attentions were more on boys than girls, there was something about Tifa. He wanted to impress her, especially after he'd been blamed for her ankle injury when the two had been foolishly hiking over the tattered rope bridge to Mount Nibel.

 _My mother had warned me not to go there alone, but I never listened,_ Cloud thought ruefully as he got himself showered and ready for the day. _I was so cocky and sure of myself. And it probably was my fault Tifa got hurt in the first place._

_"There's a Mako fountain out there, inside the caves," Twelve-year-old Cloud had told Tifa, knowing her curiosity would get the best of her and she'd want to see it for herself._

_"Really? You have to take me there, Cloud! I want to see it!" Tifa had replied eagerly. "Let me get my hat!"_

_Things had gone well until the return journey, back over the old rope bridge that creaked and groaned, even under the relatively light weight of two pre-teens. "Cloud - !"_

_The rope had snapped, and although Cloud did grab Tifa's hand, pulling her to safety, her body had been dashed against the rock face of the mountain, shattering her right ankle where it had made contact with hard granite._

_"Oh shit...Tifa, I'm so sorry," Cloud had apologized. "Damn it! This is all my fault."_

_"It's - okay," Tifa was in great pain, it was written all over her face, but she refused to cry; something that impressed Cloud greatly. She's braver than I am, he'd thought._

_Cloud helped Tifa limp back to town, where he'd been admonished by her angry father. He was not allowed to see Tifa again, not for many months, until her injury had healed._

_"I'll make it all up to you," Cloud had vowed, on his last night there. "I'll train hard, and I'll become SOLDIER, Tifa. You'll see." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Cloud felt foolish. He didn't know why he was trying to impress her anyway; it was not as if he was interested in her in that way in the first place._

Cloud snapped out of his reverie at the sudden appearance of Zack in the bathroom. "One Gil for your thoughts," Zack murmured, coming up behind Cloud and draping his arms about the cadet's shoulders as he squinted into the bathroom mirror, finger-fluffing his unruly blond spikes. Cloud's face broke in a smile the moment Zack's arms wrapped around him.

"Hey, I was just about to wake you up," Cloud spun around to face Zack, giving him a kiss. "I was up early, I couldn't sleep. Kind of nervous."

"Nervous about the mission, or about me meeting your mom?" Zack asked, grinning.

"A little bit of both," Cloud admitted with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "And...there's a few people back home I'm not sure I want to see. Mostly…I don't want to be seen by them."

"What people? Bullies, you mean?" Zack pressed on.

"Some of them, yeah," Cloud replied. "I just have mixed feelings about going back to Nibelheim. It was hell growing up there. And I don't want anyone knowing I didn't get into SOLDIER."

"Not yet, but maybe someday you will," Zack argued. "Okay…I've gotta hurry up, Cloud. Seems I overslept," he added with a wink. "And don't worry about Nibelheim, Cloud. It'll be fine…and I bet you'll be glad to see your mom, anyway."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed. "At least there's that…I'll get to see mom."

* * *

Hours later, Cloud would be quite dismayed to learn that the Turks would only be bringing them as far as Corel in the helicopter, and they would be driving the rest of the way to Nibelheim in a hired truck. Cloud groaned, feeling the bile rising in his stomach already. He'd gotten used to riding in the helicopter, but bouncing along the bumpy open road in an old truck with lousy suspension - Cloud could feel his stomach churning rapidly with each pothole they hit.

Cloud closed his eyes as he sat in the back and listened to the humming of the engine as they bounced along in the truck, chewing the ginger gum Zack had given him to stave off his nausea. The cadet's motion sickness was getting better, but he still did not have it fully conquered. Though Zack did his best to assure him that he'd seen a lot of recruits with this issue, it didn't ease Cloud's mind all that much. He felt that Sephiroth and the others viewed him as weak- and not good enough for SOLDIER, just as Hojo had proclaimed so many months prior after Cloud's poor reaction to Mako treatment. The smell of Mako was high in the area, another factor that was setting off Cloud's nausea. It was a sure sign of Mako concentration in the land; not a complete surprise, as there was a reactor built into the side of Mt. Nibel.

"We're almost there, Cloud," Zack whispered. "Hang in there." He turned to Quinn, who seemed bored, staring at her fingernails. "Hey, Quinn!" Zack called, grinning. "Stay sharp."

"Yes, sir!" Quinn replied with a salute. She pulled her helmet down over her head, concealing her chin-length blue-black hair as best as she could, tucking the ends underneath. The cadet wondered how she would be perceived in Nibelheim, a female recruit. She'd heard that Nibelheim was rather antediluvian in its ways, and not exactly a hotbed of feminism. "I'm ready for whatever Nibelheim has to throw at us. Cloud...aren't you from there, by the way?" Quinn asked, turning to the rather green-looking cadet.

"I am," Cloud said, chewing the gum with increased ferocity as the truck jolted, bumping over a large divot in the unpaved road. He felt his stomach fly upward, and it was a very unpleasant feeling indeed. "I haven't been home since the beginning of term. I'm hoping I can visit with my mother while we're there."

Sephiroth had barely been paying attention to the conversations going on around him, but that comment of Cloud's - he'd heard _that_ , and it made him take notice. The general turned from where he'd been sitting quietly opposite Cloud and Zack, and studied the blond curiously, turning inward with his own thoughts. _What must it be like, to have a hometown like that to come back to... to have roots?_ It was a question that made Sephiroth stop and ponder his own history – or lack thereof, really.

All Sephiroth knew of his own background was contained on official-looking documents filed in an official-looking folder, all tucked away in the library of Shinra Headquarters and guarded by Mayor Domino. Official documents that spelled out who Sephiroth was in just a few simple lines; an orphan whose mother had died giving birth, and no father was named or listed on any of those old documents. When Sephiroth had asked Hojo about it, the reply was an indifferent shrug of the shoulders.

As Sephiroth grew older, he'd assumed that his father - whoever he was - had abandoned his mother after learning of her pregnancy, shirking his parental responsibilities. It was a common enough scenario below the plate in Midgar, particularly in those years leading up to the war in Wutai, when Shinra had been engaged in minor skirmishes on the island nation. Many a SOLDIER came home on shore leave to find comfort in the arms of someone willing, not even thinking about any consequences of the result of a brief affair. They'd called it the first wave of the 'Wutaian baby boom,' and Sephiroth naturally inferred that he was merely the unintended offspring of such a coupling. It was not a thing he cared to dwell much upon, choosing instead to focus upon becoming the very best SOLDIER in the world – just as Hojo and ShinRa, Inc., had groomed him to be.

"We'll head to Mount Nibel early tomorrow morning. I've procured a reservation for us at the inn; remember, three to a room," Sephiroth reminded his troops as they traversed the cobblestone streets toward the inn; he gestured toward the water tower in the center of the town common.

"Fan out, and I want patrols to sweep the area," Sephiroth directed the cadets. "Ensure that the perimeter is secure, while I inquire about our rooms. After you're done, you may visit your families, those of you who have relatives in this town," the general concluded, with a rather pointed glance toward Cloud. "Meet me back at the inn by ten this evening."

"Understood!" Zack replied with a cheery salute. He turned to Cloud and Quinn, and pointed out the areas he wanted them to monitor. Sephiroth stood stock-still, simply sniffing the air.

"Something wrong?" Zack questioned, cocking his head to the side. Sephiroth had been oddly quiet - not that the man was a chatterbox like himself, but even so, Zack thought it odd how quiet and pensive Sephiroth seemed.

"The smell of Mako is very strong in this town," Sephiroth murmured. "Curious. I suppose it stands to reason, given that there is a reactor built into the mountainside. I did not expect the scent to travel down this far, however."

Zack gave the air a sniff as well, and then shrugged his shoulders. "It _is_ strong," he admitted. "Maybe it's just because of the cross-winds, that we can smell it all the way down here on the common?"

"That is a possibility," Sephiroth agreed. "I am going to my room now," he added abruptly, turning to leave. His head felt heavy, and he felt distracted. It was an unpleasant sensation for one so used to being in complete control all of the time as Sephiroth normally was.

"Okay..." Zack said, giving the general a final salute and a wave. "We'll check back in later."

Cloud pulled down the visor of his helmet and rounded the corner of the general store after Sephiroth dismissed them – and walked right into someone heading in the opposite direction.

" _Hey! Watch where you're going_!" Cloud flinched at the sharp voice, and then did a double-take when he realized who was underneath the rakishly placed cowboy hat. He opened his mouth to speak but found he could not.

 _Tifa. Tifa Lockhart_. If Cloud hadn't been utterly shocked into silence, he might have laughed at the outraged expression on Tifa's face. Instead, he found himself unable to utter a single word; the one person he'd been trying so hard to avoid, he'd run right into her. She'd nearly died because of him, and now the introverted cadet found himself unable to form speech.

"Oh…you're from Shinra, huh?" Tifa said, reddening. "I'm sorry. You're not – no, couldn't be…Cloud, is that you?"

Cloud froze, and without even thinking, shook his head no. _Shit...why have I always been so worried about what she thinks? About what everyone in this town thinks?_

"Oh, I see," Tifa shrugged her shoulders. "I thought you might be him. Well…I have to go, or I'll be late for my martial arts lesson. Nice to meet you, mystery man!" She called over her shoulder as she hurried on by. "If you know someone named Cloud, tell him Tifa said hello!" And just like that…she was gone, leaving Cloud standing there and feeling like a fool.

"Yeah," Cloud muttered, mentally kicking himself for not speaking up. _Too late now_. "I'll be sure to tell him." He trudged on back toward the center of town, wanting to hide from the world. There was just something about Nibelheim that seemed to pull the wind out of his sails; running into Tifa so suddenly brought up all those old feelings of insecurity and rejection that he'd been trying to forget. None of it was something Cloud wanted to relive.

Zack paced around, waiting for the others to return when he saw two troopers of them he instantly recognized as Quinn – her chin length, blue-black hair was a dead giveaway. "Hey, Quinn, how'd it go? And who's that with you?" Zack inquired. "Weingarten? Is that you? Wonder where Cloud is - "

"It's _me_ , Zack," Cloud replied in an irritated-sounding mutter. "I'm done with my patrol, everything looks good. Can we just go to my mom's now?"

"Come on, handsome, take the helmet off," Zack teased, reaching a hand up toward the cadet's face. Cloud rudely swatted his hand away.

"No," Cloud snapped and then sighed, shoulders drooping slightly. "I'm sorry. Look...let's just get on to my mom's house. I saw someone I didn't want to see, so that's why I kept my helmet on." _Tifa...I'm not ready to talk to her. Not today. Maybe...maybe tomorrow._

"All right," Zack replied, raising an eyebrow. "Quinn...we'll see you later, then?"

Quinn was about to answer when Cloud suddenly piped up. "Actually...I invited Quinn to come for dinner also. The other guys just went to the pub, and left Quinn by herself - "

"It's okay, guys," Quinn said graciously. "I can get a meal at the Inn, it's fine. I know you probably want some time alone- "

"Quinn, it's totally okay," Zack said quickly, a broad smile lighting his tanned face. "It's fine with me too."

"It's this way," Cloud said abruptly, turning and heading toward a small stucco house that was on the corner, diagonally opposite from the Inn. He waved for Zack to hurry along, not wanting Tifa to spot him. "Zack, come on!" he urged impatiently. "I just want to get inside."

"Geez...fine, Cloud!" Zack retorted, shaking his head. _What the hell is wrong with him?_ Cloud quickly took the helmet off before knocking on the door, waving Zack along.

"Come on, get closer," Cloud hissed."I don't want to be seen."

"Cloud – you're acting really _weird_ ,"Zack muttered. He 'd known that Cloud had some hang-ups and apprehensions about Nibelheim, but he hadn't thought it'd be _this_ bad. How Zack wished Cloud could see himself the way _he_ saw him: a sensitive, caring young man with a great deal of untapped potential. "Just relax, time for me to meet your mom!" Zack clapped a hand on Cloud's shoulder and gave him a warm smile, one that Cloud couldn't help but return.

"Sorry I've been an ass," Cloud whispered, the adrenaline rush and nerves returning when the door opened. "Mom! Hi...just thought I'd drop by while we're in town," he added sheepishly. His mother, a petite blonde, was wiping her hands on her apron, a look of complete surprise on her face.

"Cloud! What a surprise! I wish you'd called me, you haven't called home once since you left home!" the woman exclaimed, drawing her son into a hug. She looked over Cloud's shoulder expectantly as she saw Zack standing there on the stoop. "And who's this, you've brought a friend?"

"Yeah," Cloud said softly, blushing. "This is my – uh… this is Zack," he stammered. "Can we come in?"

"Of course! Don't just stand out there like two wayward chocobos," Cloud's mother replied, smiling as she ushered them inside. "Reyja Strife," she told Zack, extending her tiny hand to shake his own.

"Zack Fair. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am," Reyja said firmly. "Makes me feel old. Come in, come in! So, how long are you boys in town for? I have some stew on the stove..."

"I knew you would, mom," Cloud said, carefully wiping his boots on the mat. He placed his helmet on a low table in the entryway and awkwardly pulled Zack along behind him. "Is it okay if Zack joins us for dinner?" he asked.

Reyja turned from where she was puttering over the stove, stirring the hearty stew, and snorted. "Of course he can! I would love the company. Have you seen Tifa yet?" she asked idly, rummaging in the cabinet for spices to add to the sausage and potato stew.

"Ah...yes and no," Cloud said quickly. Reyja turned around and looked at him quizzically, shaking her head.

"Still shy around her, hm?" Reyja asked. "So, Cloud...how is life in Midgar? Have you found a girlfriend yet?"

Zack began laughing, then quickly covered, pretending he was coughing as he caught Cloud openly glaring at him.

"Mom...about that," Cloud began hesitantly, looking to Zack for help. The SOLIDER reached across the table for Cloud's hand, gently grasping it. "Mom...Zack and I...well, we're together." Cloud let out a huge breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding in. "We've been dating for a while now."

"Oh?" Reyja glanced over her shoulder and smiled, nodding. The little blonde woman turned down the heat on the stove, then plopped herself down in a kitchen chair right next to Zack.

"Well, you certainly picked a handsome boyfriend," Reyja said, winking at Zack, who grinned back at her.

"You're not mad?" Cloud said, carefully studying his mother's face for any signs of disapproval, the one thing he feared above all. As much as he didn't want to admit to his childhood friend that he hadn't attained his dream of becoming SOLDIER; an even worse fate for Cloud, as far as he was concerned, would be to have his mother disappointed in him.

"Mad about what?" Reyja replied, puzzled. She put an arm around her son's shoulders, hugging him. "Cloud...a mother knows. Honestly, all those times you were flirting with Tifa, it confused me. You never seemed happy around her, just...nervous. Always trying to impress her, and coming home from her house so terribly sad."

"I promised her I'd work hard and make it into SOLDIER," Cloud said quietly. "And I haven't made it yet. It might not even happen, Professor Hojo said - "

"Professor Hojo is an _idiot_ ," Zack cut in. "Uh, sorry...Reyja. That was rude of me ."

"Oh, you can speak freely here," Reyja said cheerfully. "And I don't know this Professor of yours, but if he said anything bad about my Cloud, then I'm not too impressed with him either."

"No, and honestly….Cloud has a lot of talent. He's an excellent swordsman," Zack began gushing, despite Cloud giving him a warning look. "He's very modest about his skills, though. But I keep telling him he has wonderful potential."

"And you are part of SOLDIER, yes, Zack?" Reyja asked him. "I can tell by the uniform. What Class?"

"First Class, ma'am," Zack replied, nodding. His face grew mortified as his stomach grumbled loudly, and Reyja laughed.

"Well, sounds like you're hungry, Zack! That's as good a sign as any that I should stop talking, and feed you two," Reyja said, moving over to the stove to dish out the steaming hot stew.

"So...tell me about the academy, and how the two of you met!" Reyja said brightly as she returned with the bowls of stew. Cloud and Zack exchanged a look as the cadet began to mentally categorize those topics he _wouldn't_ be sharing with his mother.

* * *

While the others were out, Sephiroth basked in the relative silence of his rented room at the Inn, but the thoughts racing through his head produced a cacophony that only he could hear, and it was a blessing that it was so. Something was calling him, he didn't know who – or _what_ – but _something_ up in that mountain was drawing him. He was sorely tempted to just go up there himself, ahead of the group – and a day earlier than planned, but the logical side of Sephiroth told him to stand firm, and wait. Wait, and ignore the calling – this odd summoning, whatever it was. Sephiroth always felt himself to be an autonomous and rational being; one who didn't react so violently to stimuli or emotion as the ever-expressive Genesis had. The general just knew, though – there was something up there on that mountain, beyond the barren spires of rock – something in the mountain, that was meant for him to see

It was going to be a long night waiting for the others to return, and then awaiting the dawn. Sephiroth knew that sleep, even if it came, would not be a restful one. His mind was too full of doubts and questions, and no matter how hard he tried to quiet those idle thoughts that dwelled within, he found that he could not.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Whewww, we're finally in Nibelheim! This chapter was sort of a transitional one, to get the plot moving from Point A to Point B. There will be plenty more action in the next chapter though, so fear not if this chapter seemed a little dry to you. We'll get to the meat of things soon enough. Also, Quinn will be seen more in the next chapter as well.
> 
> Thanks once again to my lovely loyal readers, who have followed this little story for the past several years. Seems hard to believe that we're in the home stretch now, but we are! I've already got the last chapter written already, and I can tell you it's going to be a tearjerker (as you might expect).
> 
> Comments and feedback is lovely and always welcomed! Thanks so much again for everyone's support!


	22. Halfway There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team of soldiers and infantrymen continue their trek up Mt. Nibel, with deadly results.

_I woke up with my feet nailed down_  
And my head moving the speed of sound  
Had a dream I was caught in a maze  
And I couldn't find my way back out

_And how far is halfway there?  
I didn't see you on the trail…_

**Halfway There – Soundgarden**

* * *

_Oh, this photo...of you, Tifa, and Sephiroth. I remember it being taken, before everything went to hell. This photo...the one Shinra kept buried all these years - I swore up and down I must be in the photograph because I remembered it so vividly. I remember the guy asking Sephiroth for his autograph, and asking to take the photo. Years later, when I told Tifa I remembered, she looked at me like I was nuts. I suppose I was, at the time._

_And it turns out I wasn't in the picture at all - only the three of you - of course now I know why I wasn't in the photo. I wasn't in that photograph because I kept myself hidden in Nibelheim - because I was a **coward**. Zack, I can hear you denying it up and down, but it's the truth. I promise you, I'm not still beating myself up over it - if nothing else, I've learned by now that you can't change the past._

_Because if I could, believe me - I would. If I could turn back time, and change the past, I'd change a lot of things. I think you know one thing I'd change most of all._

* * *

As the evening wore on, Cloud found himself relaxing despite his general anxiety over being back in Nibelheim; his mother's convivial hospitality combined with Zack's natural ebullience both worked to put him at ease. Reyja found she was mentally kicking herself for all those times she'd nagged Cloud to get a girlfriend. It all made sense now, the trouble with Tifa, why Cloud kept going out of his way to impress the prettiest girl in town, to get her to like him - it was because Cloud was trying to please his _mother_.

"Cloud...I feel I should tell you, how sorry I am," Reyja said quietly as they finished a hearty meal of stew. "For shoving you at Tifa. I thought, you know - how cute it would be if my son and the girl next door became a couple. I had visions in my head of all these little grandbabies running about - "

She paused and smiled. "Well, it's every mother's dream, I suppose, to see her children grow up and have children of their own. But that was just the thing of it, Cloud - it was _my_ dream. Not yours. I didn't stop to consider your feelings, and for that...I am sorry."

"Mom...it's okay," Cloud replied softly, smiling as Zack's fingers grazed against his own. He swallowed hard, and then reached over to grasp Zack's hand, clasping it. "I was confused back then too...but I figured it out. Eventually."

"Well, I'm glad you did, Cloud," Reyja replied, giving Zack a warm smile. "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy."

"I am, mom," Cloud said softly, tightening his fingers around Zack's hand, their eyes meeting. "I finally am."

* * *

Back at the Inn, Sephiroth paced back and forth by the windows, hands clasped behind his back. He briefly considered taking one of the sleeping pills prescribed by Hojo; his mind simply would not rest. The general wasn't actually _tired_ ; Sephiroth couldn't recall ever being tired in the physical sense, but he was growing weary of his mind running in circles as it had been since arriving in Nibelheim.

Sephiroth stared out of the set of large windows in his room at the Inn, watching the sun setting behind Mount Nibel. The thick mist that perpetually surrounded the mountain looked to be like flames licking the tall peaks, the landscape backlit by the setting sun. He turned his gaze back toward the sleepy little village of Nibelheim, eyes traveling over the windowpanes, warm light shining out from within. Families going about their daily lives; Sephiroth could almost sense the warmth and camaraderie from within the little homes, and detected the scents of food cooking. Families sitting down for the evening meal and breaking bread together – that familial bond, that sense of togetherness, it was a thing that both fascinated and repelled Sephiroth. He'd never had any family to call his own, though he supposed Genesis and Angeal had been a reasonable substitute; they were as brothers to him as surely as anything.

 _No mother...and no father._ Only Hojo, and to a lesser extent Hollander. And Sephiroth had never known a home other than the confines of the Shinra building. He'd thought his childhood had been unremarkable, no different than anyone else's, until he'd met the two Banorans who became two of Shinra's finest SOLIDERS - as well as Sephiroth's best friends. Then he'd been regaled with tales of Genesis and his distant, perfectionist parents who drove him a lot harder than he'd deserved. Angeal's childhood had been a poor one, but he grew up with loving parents who had taken Genesis under their wing. Sephiroth had at first been quite amused at Genesis's bitter disappointment in his own parents, lambasting them for their coldness.

_"There is no substitute for a mother's love, Sephiroth," Genesis had admonished him. "I realized just what was lacking from my own mother, when I met the Hewleys. Had it not been for Angeal's mother, I don't believe I ever would have known such a thing."_

_"Hmm," Sephiroth had chuckled, which of course met with an indignant glare from Genesis._

_"And what of your parents, Sephiroth?" Genesis had gone on to ask. "Your mother and father?"_

" _I don't know, Genesis. I don't know anything about them_."

"No mother, no father…no hometown. Curious," Sephiroth murmured. "Am I that much of an anomaly?" He wondered if he would ever learn more about his parentage, beyond those vague documents that revealed next to nothing about his origins. Sephiroth eyed the prescription bottle on the shelf again and finally acquiesced.

 _It would be good to sleep before tomorrow's mission,_ the general thought as he downed the pills without water. As he lay back sleep overtook him very quickly thanks to the medication.

The voices did not come when he slept…not this time.

* * *

Only when Cloud was absolutely sure Tifa had retired for bed – he kept checking out his own window to see if her bedroom light was turned off - did the young cadet venture out of his house, waving Zack out toward the water tower in the middle of the square. His furtive and clandestine movements confused Zack, who didn't quite understand just why in the world Cloud wanted to hide from everyone in Nibelheim, but most especially from the girl next door. This wasn't the Cloud he knew, acting so tense. Zack knew Cloud could have his moments - there were times where he'd been moody or introverted, but nothing like this. Cloud was acting like a recluse, and as pleasant as it had been to meet Reyja, Zack was started to feel irritated that they'd been hiding out in Cloud's old room like fugitives ever since they'd finished supper.

"So you're finally venturing outside, hm?" Zack said mildly as Cloud glared at him, pulling him along toward the water tower. "What are we doing here?"

"We're going to climb it," Cloud said firmly, "and look at the stars. I promise, Zack...I'll explain everything. I know I've been acting weird ever since we got here, and you deserve to know why."

"Cloud..." Zack said quietly as they climbed atop the water tower, taking in the night sky with all its stars. "Oh, wow...look at all the stars, huh? Reminds me of home." He smiled as Cloud clambered up next to him as they sat there side by side, their hands sliding into one another automatically. "Cloud...can you tell me, please...what you're hiding from? Sneaking around town like this - you're not ashamed of being seen with me, are you?"

The question hit Cloud like a jolt to the heart, and his face fell. He hadn't meant to hurt Zack like that, and knowing that he had, it made his heart _hurt_.

"Zack...I'm so sorry," Cloud said quietly, and he took Zack's hand in his, quickly glancing up at Tifa's window again. Thank the gods, her light was still out...she must be asleep. "Don't ever think that! I'd never be ashamed of being with you."

"Then what is it, Cloud?" Zack asked, puzzled. "What is it you're not telling me?"

Cloud's eyes fell to his lap; the last time he'd been up in this water tower had been with Tifa - the girl he thought he once loved. The one he'd failed to protect from danger so many years ago, she'd been hurt because of his stupidity, and nearly killed.

"Zack…there's someone I ran into earlier. Someone I'd let down in the past, and, well – I just didn't want her to see me. I had my helmet on, and – I let her think I was someone else. She still has no idea I'm in town, and honestly? I'd prefer that she doesn't find out. Not until I'm ready." Cloud's words came out in a nervous rush, but it felt good – _damned_ good – to unload all of these worries to Zack. And for his part, Zack was more than happy to provide a welcome ear for Cloud.

"I can't say I agree with you hiding out like this, Cloud," Zack said, shaking his head. "Whatever it is that's bothering you, shouldn't you talk it over with Tifa?"

"I will, Zack, I will…" Cloud muttered. "Just – let me explain, so you know what happened with me and Tifa, okay?" And explain he did – Cloud launched into his narrative, going into great detail over the hike to Mt. Nibel, his excited discovery of the Mako fountain there. How the bridge snapped and let go, leading to Tifa shattering her ankle. "It wasn't just that, either, Zack," Cloud explained. "She was in a coma after that, too – she'd hit her head. If it was just a busted ankle, I don't think her father would hate me as much as he does."

"But Cloud…it was an accident, I'm sure her father realizes that now," Zack tried to reason with Cloud, tried to be as reassuring as possible. "You just wanted to show Tifa something cool. Something any kid might do with a friend. You didn't know she'd get hurt."

"Yeah, but she did," Cloud argued. "And you weren't there, Zack. Her father looked like he wanted to kill me. I can't say as I blame him, his only daughter almost died."

"She _didn't_ die, though," Zack argued back. "If anything, you saved her _life_ that day, right? You pulled her up so she didn't fall off the bridge," he went on, remembering what Cloud had told him about the rope bridge snapping.

"That's not how Tifa's father saw it," Cloud retorted stubbornly. "Zack, please…just trust me on this. I'll talk to Tifa when the time is right, I promise."

"All right," Zack said reluctantly. "I guess you know her better than I do, Cloud. I just wish you'd settle this with her. Maybe she could talk to her dad, even."

Cloud looked horrified by this suggestion. "No, I don't think I can ever face that man again. Tifa and I – well, she forgave me. She and I did talk a bit before I left for Midgar. She asked me to promise her something," Cloud added, biting his lip.

Zack frowned, and leaned forward, listening. "What was it?" he urged. He hated seeing Cloud blaming himself like this, for an accident that had happened so many years ago. And from what Cloud had told him, Zack was certain it was just that – an unfortunate accident.

"She asked me if – once I got into SOLDIER – if I would be her hero, just once," Cloud said softly. "I'm not sure what she meant, exactly. But, I'm obviously not in SOLDIER either, and I don't feel like getting into that with her. How I'm intolerant to Mako – "

"Cloud, you've only just started with Shinra, really," Zack protested. "I know you value your friend's opinion, but – she can hardly expect you to make it into SOLDIER in just a few months' time."

"Didn't you, though?" Cloud asked softly, his expression sad. "You told me you aced your exams, and got into SOLDIER pretty quickly, right?"

Zack shrugged his shoulders, trying to play it off. "Yeah, sure, but – " He waved his hand dismissively. "Look, Cloud, everyone's different. Even Sargent Flanard failed the entrance exam twice, did you know that? But he kept trying, and eventually he made it. Just don't ever give up hope because you have a setback. That's part of the SOLDIER code anyway – perseverance."

Cloud nodded pensively. "I suppose you're right, Zack," he replied. A chilly wind blew through, and Cloud shivered, smiling as he felt Zack's arm around him. "I'm glad you're here, Zack. Thanks for listening. And I'm glad you got to meet my mom."

"Me too," Zack agreed. "Your mom's awesome. And hey, she seems pretty cool about us being together." He gazed at Cloud wistfully for a moment, and then leaned over to give him a tender kiss. "I think my parents will be, too…whenever we have a chance to go to Gongaga, I'd like you to meet them. If you want, that is," Zack added hastily – he didn't want to pressure Cloud.

"I'd like that, actually," Cloud said, a yawn punctuating his reply. He shook his head, and looked toward the Inn. "We should get some sleep, it's getting late, and we've got to be up early tomorrow."

Zack nodded as they quietly climbed back down from the water tower, and made their way back inside the Strife home. "We'll say goodbye to mom first," Cloud whispered, knowing full well that his mother might already be asleep.

"Aw, look….she is asleep, Cloud," Zack whispered, smiling at the sight of Reyja, fast asleep in her rocking chair by the fire. He realized just how much Cloud resembled his mother, from the hair color down to the same profile – Cloud was definitely the spitting image of Reyja.

"Yeah, I don't want to wake her….I'll just leave a note," Cloud decided. "Maybe we can come back and visit mom again after the mission, before we leave town?" Cloud looked to Zack, who nodded.

"Of course!" Zack agreed readily. "Definitely…we'll stop back in to see her before we leave Nibelheim. Just gotta get through our mission…tomorrow should be a piece of cake, really."

"I hope so," Cloud said dubiously, a sudden shiver coming over him. He had no reason to believe anything would go wrong with a simple trip up Mount Nibel come tomorrow, but Cloud thought again of the ill-fated trip he'd taken up there with Tifa and how well that had turned out.

 _But Zack's right about one thing, Tifa didn't die then, at least,_ Cloud told himself. _I really have to let go of this guilt, and go talk to Tifa._ He promised himself that he would do just that, after the mission was complete - whether or not they found Genesis.

* * *

Morning came all too quickly, and Zack woke with a start and a gasp, sitting upright in the twin bed in his rented room at the Inn. Cloud was stirring, just beginning to wake himself, and Zack cast a grateful glance at the cadet. He'd been dreaming that Cloud had been lost - Zack didn't know where, or how, but Cloud had gone missing and in the dream, he'd been searching frantically for him.

 _Just a dream, that's all it is_ , Zack told himself, pushing the intrusive thoughts out of his mind. Just a _dream...nothing bad's going to happen._ Sitting up, Zack ran his hands through his hair and looked around the room - it was only himself and Cloud, as Sephiroth had already left. Weingarten and Quinn had their own rooms; the Inn boasted only one room that could accommodate three, the remaining rooms meant for no more than two guests.

"Cloud, you awake?" Zack softly urged. The blond cadet opened his eyes and slowly nodded.

"Yeah, I'm up," Cloud said with a yawn. He blinked a few times and frowned. "Is Sephiroth gone already?" He'd thought it strange that the general had shared accommodations with himself and Zack. Sephiroth had been his idol, the poster child for SOLDIER - one of the reasons Cloud had enlisted in the first place. To have such power and command such respect; it was every little boy's dream.

Especially for a misunderstood young man who hailed from a small mountain town where there was not much opportunity, or prospects for a successful future. Shinra had been Cloud's ticket out of this town, and he'd seized that brass ring, hoping never to look back.

And here he was, back in this hated place, uncomfortably close to people who'd mocked him, called him a failure, or lambasted him for 'letting Tifa get hurt.' Cloud shook his head and sighed, knowing he had to squelch these thoughts and put his mind on the mission.

Soon, he and Zack were ready and in uniform, Cloud quickly putting his helmet on to conceal his identity before going outsider. Zack opened his mouth as if to protest, then paused as they met the other cadets out in the hallway.

"You don't have to hide, Cloud," Zack whispered, but the cadet ignored him. "Ugh. Whatever..." Cloud was really starting to piss Zack off, but it was neither the time nor the place to get into an argument.

"Sir, Sephiroth is waiting for us by the gates of the Shinra mansion, he's hiring a guide to take us up the mountain," Quinn announced to Zack.

"Okay," Zack said, nodding. "I hardly think that's necessary, since Cloud's from Nibelheim, but it's the general's call. Let's head out."

Sephiroth looked up as the others approached, and waved them to fall in, feeling slightly impatient at their tardiness. Though technically, Sephiroth had been early, arising before everyone else in order to procure a mountain guide.

"I've hired a local girl to take us up the mountain," Sephiroth announced, gesturing toward a young teen who was running toward them at breakneck speed, cowboy hat flying off her back.

"Hi everyone!" she said chirpily, and Cloud automatically shrank back, grateful he'd had the foresight to put on his helmet. _No...out of all the people in town, why did it have to be Tifa!_ Cloud thought angrily. Quinn and Weingarten both had their helmets pulled down as well; the cadets looked indistinguishable from one another in their uniforms and helmets.

"This is Tifa Lockhart, an experienced mountaineer," Sephiroth told the group. Zack did a double take and gave Cloud a look.

 _So this is Tifa? Damn it Cloud, say something!_ Zack silently urged, giving his lover a pointed glare. _Now's your chance to speak up!_ But Cloud stood there, unmoving, not speaking a word, frustrating Zack to no end with his stubborn refusal to speak at all. It wasn't Zack's place to speak for Cloud, he felt, and he turned his back to the cadet in anger – something he'd never done before.

"Nice to meet you, Tifa, " Zack said, sounding a bit more curt than he'd intended, though he was mostly annoyed with Cloud's reticence. "I guess we're ready to depart, then - ?"

As Sephiroth nodded, an excited villager approached, camera in hand. "General Sephiroth! May – may I have a picture?" the man asked, thrilled to meet the famous general.

Sephiroth shrugged, and then nodded. "I suppose we have time for one photograph. Everyone?"

Quinn nudged Cloud. "Cloud….do you want to be in the picture?" she whispered. "You've been so quiet, something wrong?" Cloud cringed at hearing her say his name out loud, praying Tifa hadn't heard it.

"Ah…they've already taken it, guys," Weingarten informed his fellow cadets, shaking his head. "Oh well. Suppose nobody wants a picture of us grunts."

Quinn scoffed at this, annoyed at Weingarten's self-deprecating dismissal. "Whatever, Wein. Forget about it, then, we've got a job to do," she said in a steely voice.

"Everyone, this way to the mountain path," Tifa called back to the group, already setting a quick pace as they exited the town. Sephiroth's long legs kept up easily with Tifa's brisk canter, and Quinn and Weingarten hurried along to catch up.

Only Cloud slowed his pace, intentionally of course, wanting to fall back.

Zack wasn't having it. When the others were a good distance ahead and out of earshot, Zack let Cloud catch up with him, and grabbed him roughly by the arm.

"Cloud, seriously, what the fuck is going on!" Zack hissed. He'd never seen Cloud back down like this; after all he'd been through so far this year, and he was going to let some nonsense with an old girlfriend turn him into a damned coward? Zack wouldn't utter the word out loud; he knew how much it would hurt Cloud.

But he _thought_ it. Zack thought Cloud was being a chicken-shit, and he wanted the cadet to realize that.

"Get your damned hands off of me, Zack," Cloud retorted, uncharacteristically snappish. "You have no idea what it's like, so stay out of it."

"Listen, this bullshit you've got going on with your ex-girlfriend – I won't let you compromise this mission, Cloud," Zack warned him.

"She's not my ex-girlfriend, Zack! Just stop it – " Cloud protested.

"No, _you_ stop it, Cloud," Zack cut him off, utterly pissed. "If you don't tell Tifa who you are, I _will_."

Cloud's eyes widened and he came to a halt. "You can't _do_ that. You won't do that. If – if you do that - I'll walk. I'll desert Shinra, I'm not even joking."

"No, you are not deserting. I am not going to let you walk, got it? You are being way too fucking stubborn about this, Cloud!" Zack muttered, exasperated. He was trying to hold onto that faith he'd always had in Cloud, but the cadet was making it awfully difficult. "Come on – we need to catch up, or they'll all start to wonder what's going on." Almost as if he'd heard them, Sephiroth glanced back to give Zack an inquisitive look. The First Class replied by giving a thumbs-up sign, and hurried Cloud along.

"Let's go," Zack ordered. "This is the _last_ time I'm covering for you, Cloud. I'm so disappointed in you."

Well, he might as well have called him a coward. This was just as bad, being a _disappointment_ to someone – but especially to Zack. Cloud suddenly felt very stupid and small. He wasn't behaving the way a SOLDIER would, and he knew it.

"I'll make it right, I promise, Zack," Cloud murmured as they caught up to the group. "Just….not right now."

Zack nodded, relenting. "All right. Sorry…if I was kind of harsh on you back there, Cloud." Before Cloud could answer, Sephiroth turned back toward the group.

"I'm told the rope bridge has recently been repaired and restored," Sephiroth explained, gesturing gallantly before turning toward Tifa. "After you, Miss Lockhart."

"Thank you, General Sephiroth!" Tifa blurted, blushing in spite of herself. Sephiroth was every bit as handsome in person as he was in the magazine photographs. _And a bit intimidating_ , Tifa thought, though she wasn't about to let it show.

"I hope they're right about the bridge," Cloud muttered to the other cadets. "It's never been very secure," he added, not wanting to go into detail about Tifa's accident. He had a bad feeling about this, but there was no other way to get up the mountain.

"It looks totally fine to me, Cloud," Quinn said confidently. "Come on, guys – let's go!" Sephiroth and Tifa were nearing the end of the bridge when Cloud felt his stomach lurch.

That sound – that sound of the rope giving way – _gods, no, this can't be happening again!_ "Everyone grab onto something or we'll fall in the ravine!" Cloud shouted, forgetting in that moment he didn't want Tifa hearing his voice and recognizing him.

It wouldn't have mattered – her scream was so loud that it drowned all else out. Sephiroth's hand flew out instinctively; his left hand securely grabbed the snapping rope while the right hand was proffered to Tifa, pulling her to safety.

Cloud felt as if everything was unfolding in slow motion; fortunately, it seemed that everyone had heard his warning and held tight to the rope before it completely snapped. He grunted as he hoisted himself up the rock face of the cliff, Zack offering him a hand. He saw Weingarten's hand fly out to reach for Quinn's, and the cadet began helping her as well.

Cloud looked to his side and saw that Sephiroth had gotten Tifa to safety and was offering her the canteen of water, attempting to comfort her. He saw her hands shaking as she accepted the canteen; how badly Cloud wanted to go over there and comfort her himself.

"Thank gods you're okay," he heard Zack whisper. "I don't know what I'd do if – " Zack couldn't bear to finish the sentence. _I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too._

Instead he glanced looking curiously at Weingarten, who had removed his helmet, panting with great effort after he'd reached the other side. His eyes were wild and darting, and the trooper had a frantic look on his face.

"Weingarten? What is it?" Zack felt the blood drain from his face as the cadet answered him in a shaky voice. He knew what Weingarten would say, and it was the last thing he wanted to hear.

"Sir….it's Quinn. She's…gone," Weingarten said sadly, a sob catching in his throat. "Her hand – she slipped, I couldn't hold on – oh gods. I think she fell – "

"What do you mean you _think_ she fell?" Sephiroth said sharply. "Cadet Weingarten, did she or she not fall?" the general demanded.

"She – y-yes sir, she did fall," Weingarten answered unhappily. "Oh gods, this is all my fault – my hand slipped - " Cloud put an arm around Weingarten's shoulders, still hidden by his helmet. He'd simply forgotten that he had it on at this point _. I know how he feels_ , Cloud thought. _How close Tifa came to dying that day.._ His brows narrowed angrily as he realized how history had repeated itself, this time with fatal results for one of their own.

"Well, there's no way she could have survived that fall," Sephiroth said dismissively. "We will search for her body after our mission is completed. I do not mean to sound utterly heartless," the general added as Zack began to protest. "But we must carry on. We will complete the mission, and honor our fallen comrade upon our return."

Zack felt his face burn with anger at Sephiroth's seeming coldness, but he also knew the general was right. There was simply no way Quinn would have survived a fall into a five-hundred foot ravine, and like it or not, they still had a job to do. They still had to search for Genesis, and to see if there were any monsters in or around the reactor.

As Sephiroth moved ahead resolutely, leaving the others bewildered in his wake, Zack knew it now fell to him to get the remaining cadets - and Tifa - into the right frame of mind to continue. "Come on, guys," Zack spoke gently. "It won't be much further now." His words sounded hollow to his own ear, and it matched the feeling of emptiness in his gut. It was never easy to lose one of their own, especially someone who had been a friend. They'd lost too many friends already, and Zack wondered if it would ever end.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - the team will reach Mt. Nibel, and a discovery is made.


	23. Days And Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief note on Sephiroth/Jenova in this chapter - I've changed canon a bit, and in this story, Sephiroth never hears the name Jenova until he sees it first-hand written on the door in the Mt. Nibel Mako reactor. Sephiroth's mother is "nameless" - as is his father. He has virtually no knowledge of who his parents might have been.

* * *

_And something, somewhere that you said_  
Goes ricochet all through my head  
And flashing like a neon sign, the time stood still

**Days and Days - Concrete Blonde**

* * *

The air grew thinner the more they went up, ascending the tall peaks of Mount Nibel. Cloud found himself adjusting to the mountain air pretty quickly, having been used to it all of his life, but he noticed Weingarten struggling to catch his breath, and felt a pang of sympathy for the trooper.

"You okay?" Cloud asked in a low voice, nudging Weingarten. He nodded in reply. "The air gets thinner toward the summit," Cloud went on. "We're not going all the way to the top, though..." He let his voice trail off as he saw Tifa turn back toward them.

"Are you okay?" the guide girl asked Weingarten. "Just take it slow, we're nearly there."

Cloud struggled against the tears that threatened to fall. This was just too much, the rope bridge breaking, watching Tifa nearly fall into the ravine the same as he'd seen years before, and now they'd lost Quinn.

"Zack, promise me we'll look for her on the way back?" Cloud asked the First Class as they approached the reactor. "That we'll look for Quinn?" With how coldly dismissive Sephiroth had sounded, Cloud feared that they would not be allowed to stop on the way back to conduct a search.

"We will, I'll make sure of it," Zack said wearily. "I promise." As they approached the mouth of the cave, Tifa waved excitedly.

"Everyone, we're about to enter the main cave, here," Tifa announced. "It can get very confusing in here; it's like a labyrinth, so we need to stick together. Don't get lost!"

Weingarten groaned. "Wouldn't that be the capper, getting lost in the damned caves," he muttered, shaking his head. Cloud groaned along with him.

Sephiroth sniffed sharply as they approached the mouth of the cave. "Mako," he explained, nodding. "The scent grows even stronger in here."

"There's a very good reason for that!" Tifa replied enthusiastically. Her excitement over showing the group what lay ahead momentarily overshadowed how shaken she'd felt just moments before. Tifa hadn't seen Quinn fall into the ravine, and she was glad she hadn't, though she felt horribly that the young trooper had fallen to her death. _If I had seen that trooper fall…I don't know if I would have been able to pull myself together to go on_ , Tifa thought. _I don't even want to think about what happened._ It was just as well that Sephiroth was urging them to continue; as the trek progressed through the system of caves, it helped to take everyone's minds off of the tragedy.

"What can you tell us about this cave, then?" Sephiroth asked Tifa, keeping stride with her as the others caught up. "The coloration inside…it's interesting," he noted, casting his gaze toward the ceiling of the cave, ducking between the stalactites. "Striated from Mako deposits, no doubt."

"You're exactly right, General Sephiroth," Tifa replied, nodding her head vigorously. "Just up ahead - see that glow? What we have here is a naturally occurring Mako fountain," she said, gesturing toward the iridescent pool of Mako in the center of the cave. "A boy I used to know - he discovered this fountain years ago, and took me to see it. Isn't it beautiful?"

Cloud felt his heart thudding in his chest, ever-nervous over the threat of discovery. _I'm that boy who brought you here, Tifa._ The cadet would not give voice to the thought, even though he felt Zack's eyes on him expectantly. He knew what Zack wanted him to do, what he himself _wanted_ to do, but simply could not. Not now, as the five of them stood silently in the cave, admiring the naturally-formed fountain.

"A real, live, Mako fountain," Cloud heard Zack saying next to him. "That's so neat!"

Sephiroth laughed. " _Neat_ is hardly the word I'd use to describe it, Zack. A miracle is what it is...an unappreciated miracle." He reached out a gloved hand and ran it through the iridescent fog of Mako that rose from the rock floor of the cave, like a vaporous geyser.

Tifa gasped. "You shouldn't touch that - it's raw Mako!" she warned, but Sephiroth merely raised a silvery eyebrow at her, amused.

"No worries...I'm quite used to Mako, Ms. Lockhart," Sephiroth assured her in a droll tone. "It's part of the SOLDIER protocol. Besides," he added with a grin. "As you can see, I'm wearing gloves."

"Ohhhh." Tifa suddenly felt rather foolish. "Of course." This was _Sephiroth_ , after all. Even up here in Nibelheim, tales of his military prowess and unbelievable strength were legendary. "We have to pass through the next cave, then we'll be at the base of the reactor," Tifa waved her hand, indicating the mouth of the cave just beyond the fountain. "Then there's some tunnels after that, but just follow me, please," Tifa added, trying to sound much more authoritative than her fifteen-year-old self felt.

She had to admit, she _was_ fan-girling a bit over Sephiroth. And that other SOLDIER with the dark hair, he wasn't too hard on the eyes, either. Tifa kept her thoughts to herself; she knew her father would absolutely _kill_ her if she went after a much-older man. After all, she was only fifteen, though she did look much older than her years.

Soon they reached the metal staircase that led to the reactor. Red paint peeled from the steel railings, the whole site was badly in need of repainting. It wasn't in pristine condition the way the reactors in Midgar were.

Nobody comes out here, so Shinra probably doesn't care about upkeep, Cloud correctly surmised, slightly irritated by that realization. Shinra, Inc., controlled most of the world due to their dominance in Mako energy, and it was clear that most of their revenue gained from their profits was quickly dumped right back into Midgar. The shining jewel of the Eastern Continent - at least, the upper plate was. That was where all the money went, right back into the thriving economy of Midgar. The upper-plate world was well kept, below the plate - not so much.

And a quaint little mountain town like Nibelheim rarely saw a dime in terms of capital improvements. Yet another reason why Cloud had been all too eager to leave it behind - Midgar was an oyster, and Cloud had been determined to seize a pearl.

 _I met Zack in Midgar. That alone was worth giving up my life here in Nibelheim...not that I had much of one, anyway._ Cloud gave Zack a half-smile as they trudged along, and the First Class caught it, smiling back.

"Everything okay...?" Zack asked quietly. "Shit - Tifa, get back!" he shouted suddenly, a flash of smoke and fire coming into view. "Weingarten, get down! We've got a dragon!" Cloud balked and drew his Shinra-issued rifle, breaking out into a cold sweat. The thing had appeared out of nowhere, and Weingarten was right near it.

 _Too close. Weingarten is too close_ , Cloud thought. The dragon peered down at the party, and Sephiroth drew out his masamune, pointing it upward, unflinching. Zack got into a flanking position right near Sephiroth, the Buster sword unsheathed and ready.

He studied the ornately carved handle for a second, and his mind flitted to a flash of memory of Angeal giving him that sword. _Sorry, friend...I know you said use brings about wear, and rust, but - I'm not losing anyone else today. Not if I can help it._ Somehow, Zack knew Angeal would understand. Wherever he was.

Cloud's mouth was agape - Sephiroth was staring the dragon down, the point of his sword digging into the dragon's stomach. One false move, and the dragon would be skewered.

"Everyone stand back," Sephiroth instructed in a low, calm voice. "I've got this."

Then, Weingarten did something incredibly stupid. He activated his fire materia, and launched a spell at the dragon. Cloud immediately realized the trooper's error; he'd remembered _that_ much from Materia Handling 101 - _never cast like magic against an elementally based creature such as a dragon._

"Weingarten, no!" Zack shouted, but it was too late. "Wrong spell!" The spell was already cast, and it helped to heal the dragon, rather than injure it. Now pissed off, the dragon turned on Weingarten and blasted him with a Flamethrower spell. Sephiroth sliced upward, cleanly, masamune severing the dragon's aorta and heart, killing it instantly. Cloud's mouth hung open at the feat; he'd never witnessed such strength, someone defeating such a great beast in a single blow. _No wonder Sephiroth was promoted to general at such a young age_ , Cloud thought, awed in spite of his shock over witnessing yet another trooper dying before his eyes.

Weingarten was a pillar of flame in one instant, and a moment later - he was quite simply _gone_. "Such utter carelessness!" Sephiroth snapped. The ropeway snapping - that had been bad luck. This, Sephiroth knew, could have been prevented, if only cooler heads had prevailed. "What was that trooper thinking? Casting a fire spell on a dragon?"

"Sir...I don't know," Zack said sadly, shaking his head. "I just don't know. He must have - panicked."

"Well, I trust that you two who are left will not die on me anytime soon," Sephiroth said irritably. "Our numbers have been reduced by forty percent, and we still have a job to do. Don't let me down, Zack...Cadet," the general added, staring at the pair. He had no idea if the cadet who had just perished by fire was Zack's love interest, but then again, Sephiroth had no time to waste giving further thought to the matter. This mission was _not_ turning out the way he'd wanted it to, and he was determined to see it through to its completion, even if he ended up being the last man standing.

Tifa was shaking as they crossed over to the reactor's steps, and Zack put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Sephiroth had already gone on ahead inside, ignoring everyone else. He was angry that he'd witnessed such careless incompetence just now. What were they teaching in the academy these days?

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Tifa," Zack said sympathetically. When she made as if to follow Zack, he shook his head and held out his hand, palm facing out to stop her.

"Authorized Shinra personnel only," Zack cautioned the girl, pointing to a sign that bore the same message. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to stay out here with him," he added, jerking a thumb toward Cloud.

"Damn it!" Tifa exclaimed, stamping her foot as Zack disappeared behind the doors. "I never get to do anything!" She turned toward the mysterious man, pleading to him.

"Can't you let me sneak in? I wanna see what's inside!" Tifa implored.

Cloud stood firm, arms crossed over his chest, and shook his head 'no.'

"You don't talk much, do you?" Tifa said sourly, throwing her cowboy hat onto the ground in a fit of adolescent temper and stomping her foot. "This is going to suck, having to wait outside. I hope they don't take too long.."

* * *

Inside the reactor, everything was painted red, just like the peeling railings outside. A low hum emitted from within; the further Zack ventured up the stairwell, the louder and more intense it got. Several dozen cryo-tubes were arranged on either side of the staircase, in rows like stadium-style seating.

 _Looks like a fucked-up movie theater_ , Zack thought, shaking his head. _What's in those tubes?_ He wondered. Zack put the question to Sephiroth, who had no more idea than he did. _This isn't a normal reactor, is it?_

"What's in those tubes, Sephiroth?" Zack asked, scratching his head. The smell of Mako in here was unbearable, the humming noise maddening. Sephiroth replied with a shrug of the shoulders; the buzzing he'd heard, those strange voices, all were becoming louder to him, more insistent. He could even hear it over the noise of the loud machinery. Sephiroth had barely heard or registered the question from Zack until he realized the man was asking him something.

"Oh...the tubes?" Sephiroth murmured. "I haven't the faintest idea..." He heard a hissing noise and frowned, then looked down toward the floor; some sort of steam was escaping from one of the red-painted pipes that ran under, over, and around the strange cryo-tubes.

"Loose valve," Sephiroth deduced, nodding to Zack. "Take care of it? I'll see what's in here - " The cryo tubes were over seven feet tall in height, and Sephiroth had to stand on tip-toe to see what was in there, peering through the small window.

"I see," Sephiroth said quietly. "Now I understand what Hojo was up to."

Zack had tightened the valve, halting the steam-burst, and joined Sephiroth, who stood stock still, eyes just scanning the array of tubes.

"What was Hojo up to, Sephiroth?" Zack asked, gesturing toward the nearest cryo-tube. "What's in there, anyway?"

"Take a look for yourself," Sephiroth said drolly, pointing at the tube. "Look through the window."

Zack stood on his toes and peered in, balking as he saw a humanoid-looking figure in the tank, floating in some sort of preservative - or were they actually swimming in _Mako_? The First Class couldn't help but gasp in horror and draw back, knowing the image would haunt him forever. The human - creature, whatever it was - appeared to be in pain. Lips drawn back in a sneer, exposing rows of sharp white teeth. The skin was pebbled, rough, reptilian. Claws replaced what used to be fingers and toes, and a tail had sprouted at the base of this creature's spine.

"They're makonoids," Sephiroth replied. "At one time they were human, but...no longer. These are toxic levels of Mako they've been exposed to, perhaps for years. Who knows for how long, or when this started. The pipes that run through this facility pump raw Mako into the tubes - these incubators, if you will. These were once normal humans, but...given an extremely high dosage of Mako."

Zack frowned. "Higher doses than we get in SOLDIER? Aren't we just regular humans too? Do you mean...this would happen to us too, if we got higher dosages" He tried puzzling it out, but couldn't make sense of any of it. "Did Hojo do this? But why?" Zack felt his hackles rise, recalling Hojo's complete indifference to Cloud's suffering when undergoing the Mako trials.

" _Regular_ humans?" Sephiroth echoed. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head; none of this made sense to him either, but he knew Hojo had gone too far in whatever it was he'd been attempting. "We are...I don't know," Sephiroth said slowly. "What is a regular human, anyway, hmm? I've always been strong, and quick - " He shook his head again as he glanced up at the stairway; at the top was a thick metal door, the word "JENOVA" painted right above it in that garish red paint that matched the pipes and flooring inside the reactor. With the overhead LED lights illuminating everything garishly, it gave the effect that the red paint was actually blood.

As the level of Mako in the leaky tank went down, back into the pipes below, the creature inside began to waken, shrieking when they came to - realizing they were trapped. The tube began rocking back and forth, coming right out of the concrete cubbyhole it had been embedded in, splitting open as it hit the floor. A terrible screech came forth as the creature emerged.

"Zack...take care of that, would you?" Sephiroth said quietly. "Put the poor creature out of its misery. I need to see what's in that room up there - and don't agonize over this, please. That which you see is no longer a human," he added plaintively.

"Okay..." Zack nodded, raising the sword over his head. In one swift stroke, the sword cleaved through skin, tendon, and bone, severing the neck and separating the poor creature's head from its body. Zack shook slightly as the head rolled to and fro near his foot, staining his boot with an odd, viscous fluid; blood, Zack supposed, but it was purplish-red in hue.

Sephiroth was coming back down the stairway and nodded at Zack. "The door was locked. I am returning to town, to speak with the villagers there, and look for some answers," Sephiroth announced abruptly. "These makonoids...who knows how long they've been imprisoned here, or who they once were - when they were human. _Someone_ in town must know _something_ ," Sephiroth insisted.

"You're probably right," Zack agreed, nodding his head. "I can ask around town, too - Cloud's mom lives across from the Inn," he suggested.

"Good. I want you to speak with her, see what she knows. Shinra has records housed at the Manor House...I shall go there now, see if there are any missing persons reports or anything of the kind," Sephiroth continued, though he had doubts as to whether any such documents existed in the first place.

"Zack...please see to it that Ms. Lockhart returns safely home, and here - " Sephiroth produced a wad of gil and shoved it into Zack's gloved hand " - is a bit extra for today's inconvenience. You and the cadet who's left - "

"It's Cloud, sir," Zack cut in; for some reason he wanted Sephiroth to know Cloud was still alive. Mainly to remind himself to be grateful for that very fact, how quickly they'd lost another two cadets in the blink of an eye. "Cloud Strife."

"Cadet Strife, then," Sephiroth replied, closing his eyes for a moment. "The other trooper - Weingarten, was it? - unfortunately, he was incinerated by the dragon. Gods willing, he's already returned to the Lifestream. I will inform his parents upon our return to Headquarters."

"Understood," Zack said, nodding. Sephiroth was already walking ahead of him, exiting the reactor, eyes straight ahead even as Cloud and Tifa looked to the general, both feeling bewildered. He's leaving us? Tifa thought, indignant.

"Hey! What's going on - where is Sephiroth going!" Tifa exclaimed, fixing her hat atop her head. The silver-haired general merely nodded briefly at the three who were left, and walked on by, intent on getting himself back to town quickly so that he could begin his investigation into the makonoids.

"He's going back to town, he needs to look into something," Zack explained. "Here - he wanted me to give you this," he added, handing the cash over to a bewildered looking Tifa.

"What's this for?" Tifa asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Sephiroth paid my fee before we left - "

"Just a little something extra," Zack said quickly. "The general feels badly about...well, everything. We'll head back now and see you home, Ms. Lockhart. Sephiroth is just in a hurry because he needs to begin work on something immediately."

"Sounds pretty serious," Tifa said, hoping to get some more information out of Zack. She was always curious, and with her own father's anti-Shinra talk, she wasn't exactly trusting of the company herself. Her father had even protested her taking the job to guide them up the mountain, but she'd assured him that everything would be okay.

Dad is going to flip when I get home and he hears what happened... Tifa worried. She suddenly realized that Sephiroth would be returning to Nibelheim alone, ahead of them; what if her father saw that and jumped to the wrong conclusion, that everyone else had perished?

"Zack?" Tifa spoke up. "I just thought of something. My dad might be worried if he sees General Sephiroth coming back all by himself - I hope he tells my dad that I'm okay?" _And I hope he doesn't mention the two troopers who died._

"I'm sure he will," Zack replied, though he wasn't too certain himself. Cloud strode along behind them, utterly silent. "We have to head back out, after we bring Tifa home," Zack quietly reminded Cloud. "To look for Quinn." He'd almost said "to look for Quinn's _body_ ", but caught himself in time. Zack knew it was unlikely they'd find anything but her corpse down in that ravine - nothing could survive such a fall.

"Understood," Cloud said quietly. Soon, they passed by the Shinra Mansion, and Cloud pointed out something he'd never seen before, in all the years he'd lived in Nibelheim.

"Looks like the lights are on," Cloud observed. "Someone's inside."

"Probably Sephiroth," Zack replied. They trudged on in silence until they reached Tifa's house, and her father was standing out front, arms folded across his chest, looking very perturbed.

"Thank the gods you're back safely, Tifa," Mr. Lockhart murmured, drawing his daughter into a bear hug.

"Dad!" Tifa protested, as her hat was knocked off of her head. "It's fine, really - it's fine - "

"It's _not_ fine," Mr. Lockhart snapped. "I heard that the rope bridge broke again, Lana from the Inn told me so. Weren't there five of you to start?"

"There were," Zack admitted. He couldn't' exactly lie to the man's face. "Unfortunately, two of our cadets were causalities."

"That is it, young lady," Mr. Lockhart said firmly, ushering Tifa back inside. "No more working as a mountain guide. And certain no more jobs with Shinra, Inc. Should have known better than to trust them - "

"Dad, it wasn't their fault!" Tifa protested, sighing in defeat. "Fine, whatever. I'm tired, I'm going to bed anyway." Cloud couldn't help but smile at Tifa's defiant attitude; she'd always spoken her mind like that. It was a quality he'd admired in her since they were kids.

"This is no laughing matter, young man!" Mr. Lockhart scolded Cloud, who looked down at the ground, embarrassed. "Putting a young woman's life in danger, President Shinra is going to hear about this!"

"Sir...we are sorry for any inconvenience," Zack said, trying to smooth things over. "Of course we take this seriously; it's why we escorted your daughter back home ourselves. If you'll excuse us...we have to get back to our posts, we're still on duty."

The response to that was a door slammed in their faces, and Zack rolled his eyes. "Well...at least I tried, right Cloud?" Zack cocked his head to the side, grinning as he heard Tifa's voice being raised.

"Gods, dad! You just embarrassed me! I'm not a child anymore!" Tifa was yelling at her father.

"Sounds like Tifa will be just fine," Zack murmured, smiling. He put an arm around Cloud's shoulder, leading him away. "Want to take a rest, before we look for Quinn?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied, nodding. "Not too long, though. What if she's still out there, injured?"

"Cloud...I honestly don't think we'll find her alive, you know," Zack spoke frankly. "That's a 500 foot drop."

"I know it is," Cloud said sadly. "I was just hoping - foolishly hoping, I guess, that there might be a chance..." His face fell even further as he thought of something.

"When we get back...we'll have to break the news to Zane, you know," Cloud said softly. Zack nodded.

"I know, Cloud," Zack murmured. They'd arrived at the Inn, and trudged up the staircase slowly, exhaustion hitting them both very suddenly. "I know. No matter how many times I've had to deliver news like that about a fallen comrade...it never gets easier."

"No," Cloud agreed sadly, taking off his helmet.. "It doesn't." So many they'd already lost in such a short span of time; it was making his head spin as he thought of them all. Sargent Flanard, Dill, Angeal...and now Quinn and Weingarten.

"We'll head back out in a few," Zack said, kicking off his boots and letting out a long sigh as he lay down on one of the beds. He glanced over to Cloud, who was sitting on the bed right next to him, legs hanging over the edge, holding his head in his hands.

"You okay, Cloud?" Zack said quietly, sitting up slightly. "Come here...stay with me," he invited, patting a spot next to him.

"I guess I'll be okay...eventually," Cloud replied, getting up to sit with Zack. Their hands found one another, and Zack clasped Cloud's smaller hand in his own.

"We still have each other, Cloud," Zack reminded him, ghosting a kiss over his eyebrow. "Never lose sight of that. We'll always have each other...forever."

Cloud sighed, leaning into Zack's shoulder. "You know that's a promise you can't keep, Zack. There might be a day...that one of us doesn't come back from a mission. I've been thinking about that a lot, lately."

"Well...that may be, but I'd rather not look at things that way," Zack replied. "Listen, Cloud. I love you. I will _always_ love you. No matter what may or may not happen in the future. But right now, you're here, and I'm here, and we're both alive. Hold onto that."

"I know," Cloud said dully. "I just - I don't know what I'd do without you, Zack. I love you."

"I don't want to think about life without you either, Cloud, quite honestly," Zack replied, shaking his head. "It would suck. It would more than suck...it would be like living the rest of my days in black-and-white instead of color. You mean that much to me, Cloud, you _do_. I know I should tell you more often, but..."

"No, you don't have to, Zack. I mean, I love hearing it," Cloud said quickly with a smile. "But...I know. I know what we mean to each other."

"Yeah." Zack yawned and stretched his legs, shifting so that he was lying down on the bed. "Five or ten minutes good for you, Cloud? Then we'll head back out. Been a long day, and we don't have much daylight left."

"Sunset is later in the mountains," Cloud reminded Zack. "We should have plenty of time.

"Okay," Zack replied. "Don't forget, Sephiroth wants us to talk to your mom, too. See if she knows anything."

"I seriously doubt it," Cloud said. "I mean - I probably would have heard about it too, right?"

"Maybe," Zack murmured, yawning again loudly. "And Cloud? Will you please talk to Tifa later on? This has gone on long enough."

"I know it has," Cloud sighed. "All right. I will...I'll talk to her. I promise."

* * *

Sephiroth was poring over voluminous documents in the cavernous library that was in the basement of the Shinra mansion. He'd just uncovered notes from Professor Gast - a name he hadn't heard in so many years. The narrative discussed some geological sampling in a rock formation, and Sephiroth noted that strange name again - Jenova - just as he'd seen in the reactor. Who or what was Jenova? Sephiroth felt that this Jenova, whatever it was, was somehow the key to unraveling all of this.

"Have you found anything of interest yet?" came a voice over Sephiroth's shoulder. The general whipped around and stood up quickly, his left hand on masamune's handle. A black feather fell to the ground as Genesis's wing extended over both of their heads.

Genesis laughed. "Please, Sephiroth. There is no need for weapons. Not here. I see you have come seeking the truth, just as I have."

"Truth?" Sephiroth barked. " _What_ truth? All I've found so far, are some very dull reports about Gast's rock collection. Stop speaking in riddles, Genesis."

"Then I'll show you, Sephiroth," Genesis said softly. As he turned, the dim chandelier in the library highlighted the silver strands in his hair; the once auburn-haired SOLDIER was now half silver, half auburn.

"You've gone gray," Sephiroth observed, following Genesis warily toward the back corridor. Genesis smirked as he pushed on a wooden panel, revealing a secret passage.

"Yes, the gray hair...it's because of the degradation," Genesis explained. "Unless I find a way to reverse it...I will die. So says Hollander, anyway."

"Degradation?" Sephrioth was perplexed. "Have you _seen_ Hollander? Genesis, if you are hiding something - "

"I hide nothing!" Genesis snapped. "You can see for yourself what I am. What Angeal was...what _you_ are, Sephiroth."

"Again, speaking in riddles," Sephiroth shot back. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He looked about the room they'd just entered; it appeared to be a well-hidden laboratory. Surgical tables and instruments, Mako tanks and hyperbaric chambers were nestled within, coated with dust from years of disuse. "Where are we? What _is_ this place?" Sephiroth demanded. A cold feeling crept over him, and he slapped his hand to his forehead as the infernal buzzing started up again; that nagging voice that he'd tried so hard to tune out was now _shouting_ at him.

"You hear it too, don't you," Genesis whispered, placing a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder. He flinched, feeling a telltale bump, just at the juncture of the shoulder blades. "I knew it. You're just like Angeal and I...a monster."

"Stop talking nonsense!" Sephiroth shouted, shoving Genesis's hand away. He felt a tugging in his upper back, like a knot in between his shoulder blades.

"It's starting," Genesis whispered. "I bet you have one too - a wing. I can see it trying to break through."

"Don't be absurd," Sephiroth said dismissively. He stood in the middle of the vast lab, scanning the folders left on the desk. One large folder was marked with the words _Jenova Project_. Nestled with that large folder were two smaller folders; one labeled _Project G_ , and the other labeled _Project S_.

"Read them," Genesis urged. He picked up the one labeled _Project S_ and handed it to Sephiroth. "This one first. This one is yours."

"Jenova," Sephiroth murmured, reading. "I've seen that word before, inside the reactor. What is Jenova, Genesis?"

"Just read it, okay?" Genesis said irritably. He was showing signs of exhaustion, and flopped into the desk chair, putting his feet up on the desk. "I'm tired...too tired to explain everything to you. Let Professor Hojo's words tell you all you need to know."

"I still want to know why you're hiding out here, and why you deserted Shinra," Sephiroth murmured, opening the folders as he began reading. "And why did you kill your parents? We know now it was you."

"They were _not_ my true parents," Genesis snapped. "I was adopted. Sephiroth, just read the fucking thing already. Every breath I take, every word I waste on you, is sapping my strength. I'm _dying_ , you idiot."

"Bullshit. You're not dying, I refuse to accept that," Sephiroth said firmly. It was obvious, however, that Genesis's general appearance was not good; the other problem was that Sephiroth was firmly in denial over the whole thing. He rolled his eyes, but turned his attention back to the report, trying to ignore the itching, stretching feeling he still felt near his shoulders blades. _The objective of project S is to implant the cells of an Ancient into a human fetus to imbue said fetus with the Ancient's abilities. Jenova identified as possible donor._

"Ancient?" Sephiroth said quizzically. Genesis looked up. "Is this true? Jenova...was an Ancient? A Cetra?"

"I've yet to uncover all of Gast's research on the subject," Genesis replied wearily. "Hojo...indicated in his dictated recordings...that he was analyzing the sample. Along with another scientist, Lucrecia Crescent. But...I've not listened to all of the tapes yet."

"Where are they, then?" Sephiroth demanded. "Show me."

"Fine, fine..." Genesis stood up, faltering a bit, and led Sephiroth over to an ancient looking four-track tape player. "The tapes are labeled and categorized...here, in this cabinet," Genesis indicated, pointing at a cabinet where the lock appeared blown apart. Scorch marks lined the door right around the lock.

"You broke _in_ to get the tapes?" Sephiroth said with a bit of a smile. He'd always admired Genesis for his tenacity, and was actually glad to see the man hadn't lost that yet. Sephiroth still wasn't happy that Genesis had deserted, or that he'd taken down some of their own in cold blood.

"Of course I did," Genesis replied airily. "Lobbed a fireball at it." He grinned. "Same way I dispatched of that annoying little cadet in Modeoheim - "

"You disgust me," Sephiroth growled, glaring at Genesis. "Angeal was right when he said you'd lost your sense of honor as a SOLDIER."

"There is no honor for a monster," Genesis argued. "Go on, play the tapes. Let's learn something more, about this tainted legacy we share…"

Sephiroth stared at Genesis nonplussed, and shook his head. Really, the man was muttering nonsense. "Tainted legacy? What the hell are you going on about, Genesis?"

Genesis chuckled, and then his laugh dissolved into a wracking cough. "You….really have no idea, do you?" he said, looking curiously at Sephiroth. "What you are. What _we_ are."

"I am not like you," Sephiroth said icily. "I did not abandon my post as an instructor, or as a SOLDIER. And I do _not_ have a wing – " Suddenly, Sephiroth felt it again; that itching, now transforming into a hot, searing, poker-like pain. He bent over, shouting in agony while Genesis looked on with a mixture of wonder and horror upon his face.

The sound of ripping flesh, of bone tearing through sinew and muscle, startled Sephiroth only slightly more than the actual appearance of the wing. It shot out, stretching grandly toward the ceiling as it unfurled. Genesis's gaze drew upward in awe.

"You see now, don't you, Sephiroth?" Genesis said softly. "You are magnificent. You are…the perfect SOLDIER. Born of the Jenova project. "

Sephiroth stared at Genesis for a moment, then slowly worked his wing, flapping it. "How….how did this not appear until now?" Bewildered, he sat back down and pressed 'play' on the 4 track recorder. Inside was a tape entitled "Gestation: 8 months."

Hojo's nasally voice came over the speaker, the audio scratchy in portions owing to the age of the tape. " _Specimen S is considered to be full term at this point. I will induce contractions in the mother, and if that is to no avail, the specimen is to be delivered by C-section_."

" _Not…not a specimen_!" A woman's voice, sounding weak and strained, came over the speaker. " _He's not just a specimen. His name…is **Sephiroth**."_

"Lucrecia, please," Hojo snapped. "For the purposes of this project, that child is a specimen. I will ask again that you refrain from this maternal hysteria. And that specimen is the product of Shinra, Inc."

" _But he's your son_!" The woman was heard wailing, then sobbing.

"You are not his mother, Lucrecia. Jenova is his mother. Nor is he my son," Hojo replied coldly. "DNA testing shows that the father is – "

The tape suddenly snapped, and began flapping against the reel as it wound itself up. Sephiroth quickly hit the stop button on the tape deck, and yanked the tape out.

"What else are you not telling me, Genesis!" Sephiroth shouted, throwing the tape in his face.

Genesis smiled. "Play the next one, Sephiroth. Just….play the next one. And listen."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Yes, I know...that was a cruel cliffhanger to end upon! Things are escalating pretty quickly, and I think it's safe to say that the next chapter will be the turning point. Please read and review if you are so inclined! Thank you all!


	24. Terrible Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Lemon! Some profanity, and a hell of a lot of angst. Hang on to your hats!

* * *

_Hey God_  
Why are you doing this to me?  
Am I not living up to what I'm supposed to be?  
Why am I seething with this animosity?  
Hey God  
I think you owe me a great big apology.

**"Terrible Lie" - Nine Inch Nails**

* * *

Several hours into the search for Quinn, and Zack and Cloud were feeling the effects of exhaustion combined with grief. Neither of them wanted to be the one to call off the search for the fallen cadet, but the reality was that their efforts seemed to be futile; and the sun was beginning to set.

"I don't see anything, Zack," Cloud muttered, pushing up the visor of his helmet. He gave a tired sigh; hot, sweaty, and dusty, Cloud wanted to get a hot shower, a hot meal, and a good night's sleep, but he also didn't want to give up just yet.

"Neither do I," Zack finally admitted. He squinted, scanning the canyon one more time for any signs of life. "It's weird that we haven't even found a body, though, isn't it? Or scraps of clothing, nothing. It's just like she completely vanished."

"Yeah. I mean...the vultures wouldn't have gotten to her already, right?" Cloud replied, shuddering at the thought. "And...I don't see anything circling in the sky," he added, looking upward _. What an awful thought_ , Cloud realized with a sudden clarity. In his mind's eye he saw the circling black birds, vultures and crows alike, feeding off of Quinn's dead body, now turned to carrion.

"She deserved better than that," Cloud muttered. "Maybe - maybe she's in the Lifestream by now?" he added hopefully. "I hate to stop searching, I feel like I'm giving up on her - "

"I know," Zack said, clapping a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "I hate to call it off too, Cloud, but - we've been out here for hours. Maybe we should come back in the morning. We're both worn out, and I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Okay,'"Cloud sighed in defeat, shoulders slumped as they began the long climb back out of the canyon. With the ropeway destroyed once again, the two men had to climb up a rope that Zack had carefully fastened to a large rock on the cliff above them.

"You first, Cloud," Zack told him. "Give the rope a tug and give me a shout when you reach the top."

"I will," Cloud nodded, grasping the rope with gloved hands. He was grateful for the leather gloves; rope-climbing, particularly a rope this long, was hard work. Climbing such a rope without gloves could be painful, even dangerous, if Cloud suddenly lost his grip.

 _Sometimes...sometimes I wish I had wings_ , Cloud thought crossly as he slowly hoisted himself up the rope, willing himself to look up to the sky, never down toward the rocky ravine in which Quinn had just fallen, presumably to her death.

* * *

Sephiroth's head spun as the blood pounded and roared loud in his ears; he could feel it coursing through the veins in his arm, radiating out to his wing. He tested the new appendage gingerly, amazed to see the tip of it curling and moving in response to the commands from his brain. It was part of him, yet still felt foreign. _Alien_. He couldn't bear to look at it any longer, and shut his eyes as he squeezed his shoulder muscles together, contracting them tightly to force the cursed wing to retract. It did so fairly easily, much to Sephiroth's surprise. _So I do have some control over it...perhaps_ , Sephiroth thought, trying to detach himself from the rage he initially felt over such an aberration. It was something, just the thought that he might be able to control this thing.

Despite how odd and surreal it seemed - wings didn't just come out of a man's body like that for no reason, they just _didn't_ \- by using cold logic, Sephiroth assured himself somewhat, that he would master and control whatever demon force this was in his body that had caused the wing to appear in the first place. _Genesis seems to have some semblance of control over his own wing_ , Sephiroth reasoned. _And I was able to retract mine quickly; I should be able to master its use soon._

It was hard to take much comfort in such a thought, however; trying to normalize this in his head jarred Sephiroth's sense of order. Sephiroth began to wonder if the buzzing in his head and those accursed voices he kept hearing had anything to do with the appearance of the wing. There was no time to reflect upon that now; he and Genesis had a mountain of notes and records to go through. And there were some questions that Sephiroth was certain Genesis knew the answers to; he was simply being petulant and obnoxious by not sharing those answers. Sephiroth would prod Genesis relentlessly until he broke.

"This...Genesis, explain _this_ ," Sephiroth ordered his weary companion, who was napping on and off while the general continued listening to the vast library of audio tapes containing Hojo's dictations. "Wake up, Genesis. I want answers, and I want them now. The wings. Where did they come from? How is it that we have them? Were they surgically implanted?" Sephiroth queried, nudging Genesis awake.

"Sephiroth, read those reports I gave you, and find out for yourself. I am _tired_ ," Genesis shot back irritably. He yawned loudly, as if to illustrate his point.

"No, _you_ tell me Genesis. You try my patience. I don't care what's in the reports. What Hollander told you, tell me now!" Sephiroth snarled, grabbing Genesis by the lapels of his tattered red-and-black leather duster. Genesis gave a weak laugh.

"Temper, temper, Sephiroth!" Genesis said mockingly, drawing ire from the General. "Ha ha ha…..perhaps Hojo was right," Genesis said thoughtfully, his gaze traveling up and down the general's lean yet powerful form. "Perhaps you _are_ the most perfect and powerful SOLDIER the world has ever seen. No signs of weakness or degradation with you." He handed the next tape in the series over to Sephiroth, nodding. "Go on, Sephiroth. Play it. It's next in the sequence." Genesis was taking a small amount of cruel pleasure in prodding the normally unflappable Sephiroth;

The last tape they'd listened to had contained the unexpected revelation that Lucrecia Crescent, the scientist - whoever she was - had been identified as Sephiroth's birth mother. Or, at the very least, a surrogate. Sephiroth recalled hearing Hojo on that tape, angrily insisting that _Jenova_ was his mother; so perhaps Lucrecia was merely the surrogate, Sephiroth theorized. It was the only thing that seemed to make any bit of sense in this tangled web of old, semi-audible tape recordings and dog-eared documents that had not seen the light of day in decades.

Who _was_ Jenova? Genesis seemed to know something about it, but seemed hesitant to tell Sephiroth. This angered the general, having something held back from him. _What is the harm in knowing who my parents were?_ Sephiroth puzzled. He concluded that Genesis was merely being his childish, troublesome self; creating drama unnecessarily when it wasn't needed.

Hearing the fleeting possibility that Hojo was believed to be Sephiroth's father had both intrigued and angered the general. With how aloof Hojo had been throughout Sephiroth's childhood - the furthest thing from a father figure that anyone could be - it made sense now, hearing the man's voice on the recording. The man had always been both clinical and detached when it came to Sephiroth _. Hojo had never viewed me as anything more than an interesting specimen,_ the general now reflected, looking back. His head was pounding, each new revelation paining him.

_A specimen. A project. An **experiment**. Is that all I am? Am I not human? What am I?_

"I will tell you what I know, what Hollander told me about the project, when I went to him for help. But first we should to listen to this tape, Sephiroth," Genesis pressed.

"Why would you go to Hollander for help in the first place, Genesis?" Sephiroth asked him, honestly curious. "When he's the one who did this to you and Angeal in the first place?" He had no love for the bumbling scientist, and he didn't think Genesis had any either.

"Because he promised me...that he could cure my degradation," Genesis replied with a short laugh. "All lies. Or at best, untested theories."

"Hollander is testing his theories on you, Genesis," Sephiroth cautioned. "You're his lab rat," he added with a touch of disdain.

"We are _all_ his lab rats," Genesis argued, glaring. "He, and Hojo - hell, all of Shinra's science division. We are merely property of Shinra Inc. Even _you_ , Sephiroth."

Despite the sudden appearance of the wing, Sephiroth was in firm denial as to what Genesis was hinting at; that they were all pawns in some scientific research gone horribly wrong. But there was no denying that someone from Shinra had authorized the science division to experiment upon humans; the makonoids in the cryo-tubes of the Nibel reactor were hard evidence of that. _Had it been President Shinra himself?_ Sephiroth wondered grimly. Gods help the President if Sephiroth found any connection…the man would have a lot to answer to.

"I am not Shinra's property. I belong to _no_ man," Sephiroth growled. He angrily jabbed the 'play' button on the tape player, and Hojo's nasal tones began funneling through the tinny-sounding speaker.

 _"October 14th...patient L.C. has been sedated, and prepped for surgical removal of Specimen S. Vaginal birth is contraindicated due to the rapid growth rate of the fetus. I will report upon the specimen's condition upon removal."_ The tape began speeding up rapidly, some sort of flaw was in the cassette itself, and Sephiroth quickly stopped the player, removing the tape and carefully winding the plastic wheel to take up the slack. "Damned thing..."

"Those recordings are quite old," Genesis said quietly. "Over twenty years old, by the date on most of the labels. You must be careful with them."

"I suppose," Sephiroth murmured. He folded his hands, shaking his head. "Specimen S," he murmured. "So...it appears that _I_ am Specimen S. And you and Angeal, both of you comprise Project G..." He growled again angrily. "Project G," Sephiroth repeated crossly. "We are merely _projects_ to these scientists," Sephiroth muttered angrily, shoving the tape into the player, shutting the cassette door with a sharp snap, his irritation causing him to forget to handle the tape carefully. . "We have lost our humanity."

"We lost our humanity long ago, Sephiroth...when we three were made into monsters by Hollander's hand. And Hojo's." He thumbed through the folders containing old notes, the paper long since yellowed. "Seems you were Hojo's pet project...and Angeal and I, we were Hollander's."

"I am not a monster," Sephiroth muttered, desperate to deny Genesis's claims. Though he knew the truth deep down – the wing was proof positive that he wasn't one-hundred percent human. His DNA had been altered by Hojo, but how – that was what Sephiroth had yet to discover.

Sephiroth shook his head; there was too much to digest, and despite the general being of a methodical, military mind, he found he could not compartmentalize it all, nor make sense of any of it. He vowed that they would stay here for as long as it took - both he and Genesis - to go through the vast amounts of data, and try to piece it together into some sort of chronological narrative.

"I can't get this to work - " Sephiroth muttered impatiently, as the tape wound up once again within the player. "Genesis - are there any corresponding notes in that folder?"

Genesis had pulled out another folder, his mouth falling open slightly as he realized the significance of the records within. A standard-looking form, inked handprints and footprints - those of a rather large infant - stamped within pre-formed squares. The prints were large enough that they overlapped the black edges of the box; clearly beyond the standard size of an infant's.

The gloved hand wavered only slightly as Genesis handed the aged document over to Sephiroth. "Your record of birth, Sephiroth," he said in a whisper. "I can scarcely believe it exists."

Sephiroth's eyes locked with Genesis' for a moment before he snatched the paper from him, eyes greedily scanning the old-fashioned font of type-written script. There were large smudges in the center where it appeared that some information had been redacted;- a large black ink blot was blacking out the field labeled 'father.' Whether that blot was accidental or intentional, who knew, but Sephiroth felt that it would be too much of a coincidence to have been an accident. His fingers traced lighted over the inked handprints and footprints. Small, but more the size one would expect from a toddler, and not a newborn infant.

'Father's occupation', however, had been left intact: _Turk_. Next to that, read _Status: deceased._

"My father was a Turk?" Sephiroth said questioningly, disbelievingly. So Hojo wasn't his father after all, but some dead Turk whose name had been stricken from the record was. "Wutaian, it says," Sephiroth read on. "My father...was from Wutai?" He felt a clenching in his gut at that revelation; the Silver Demon of Wutai, Sephiroth had been called, during the war. How many Wutaians had he killed, under Shinra's orders? _My own people...but I hadn't known. I hadn't **known**!_

"It's possible those records are falsified, you know," Genesis said dubiously, shrugging. "Why is your father's name blotted out, but not his race or occupation? If he was a Turk…that information can be gotten through other channels, I suppose." He paused for a moment, feeling true sympathy for Sephiroth. This was a lot of information to digest all at once, and for a man with no past, suddenly finding out who he was, it had to be overwhelming for Sephiroth.

"Sephiroth?" Genesis's voice faltered. "What does it say on there...about your mother?" he ventured to ask.

Sephiroth looked up and stared at him blankly. "It's...ambiguous," he confirmed. "There are _two_ names on the form. Lucrecia Crescent, on one line." Sephiroth held the document up, pointing it out for Genesis. "And beneath that, Jenova is listed. No last name."

"That doesn't make sense, though," Genesis argued. "You cannot have two mothers - "

"Perhaps one was a surrogate, then - maybe this Lucrecia that we heard on the tape was surrogate to Jenova?" Sephiroth shrugged his shoulders and stood up. "We need to find out...who Jenova is, and where she is being kept. And Lucrecia Crescent...what of her whereabouts? Hojo's notes indicated that Jenova was a 'sample' - but that seems to be how he referred to all of his test subjects," the general recalled.

"Including us," Genesis replied with a derisive snort. "Samples, indeed. Well, Sephiroth - you'd said there was a door inscribed with that name in the reactor. _Jenova_. Did you happen to go inside?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "The door was locked," he replied. "However, it is worth investigating...I am sure I can get the door open with some effort. A dark look crossed over Sephiroth's face as he pondered another possibility. "I will kill Hojo myself if he has kept Jenova imprisoned within that reactor," he vowed, remembering how he and Zack had found the makonoids hidden within the tubes. _Jenova…my mother…_

Sephiroth stood up and stretched his arms over his head, cracking his spine. He sighed, exasperated. "Things are not any clearer than they were a few hours ago. I am going to get food for us, Genesis."

As Genesis began to get up, Sephiroth motioned for him to stay seated. "No, you stay here. Get a fire going in the fireplace upstairs, would you? There's a woodpile right next to it - "

"Where are you going, Sephiroth?" Genesis asked, cracking his knuckles. "Back to town?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "No," he replied, quickly re-sheathing masamune. "I will hunt, and bring back some game for us. We can cook it in the fireplace," he explained. Sephiroth needed to clear his head; hunting some wild game in the brisk mountain would certainly help in that regard.

Genesis nodded. "Some roasted meat sounds good," he agreed. "All right." He waved briefly as Sephiroth quickly left, and sighed deeply, his conscience heavy.

"Oh, Sephiroth..." Genesis murmured, eyeing the stack of papers he held in his left hand, fanned out as he studied them. "If only you knew...just what it is you _don't_ know." He glanced over the narrative, reading it silently.

_Jenova sample found in geological stratum. Sample extracted, cleaned, and categorized. Blood, fluid, tissue samples taken. Body to be kept in stasis in Mako tank in Nibel Reactor Number 5. Utilize DNA for SOLDIER project._

" _I know exactly where Jenova is, dear Sephiroth_ ," Genesis intoned quietly to himself, heavy-clad boots kicking at the stone masonry of the wall. " _And exactly what they used her for_."

_The question is...should I **tell** you what I know? _

Some hours later, Zack and Cloud had made their way out of the ravine and stumbled back into town, weary and dusty. They returned to the Inn where the desk clerk waved to them upon their entry into the lobby.

"Excuse me, young man? There's a message for you here," the clerk said, pointing at Cloud, waving a small piece of notepaper at him.

"For me?" Cloud said with some surprise. He took the folded piece of paper from the desk clerk and thanked him, unfolding it as he trudged up the stairs alongside Zack.

"Who's it from?" Zack asked absently, yawning.

"It's a note from my mom," Cloud replied with a grin. "She'd like us to come over for dinner."

Zack's expression brightened despite the disappointment and exhaustion he felt. "That sounds really nice," he agreed readily. "Let's get cleaned up first, though," Zack added as they reached their room. He wasn't entirely surprised to see that Sephiroth hadn't returned yet, and shrugged his shoulders.

"I bet Seph is still up at the Manor house," Zack correctly surmised. "Maybe he'll stay there a while, who knows." Cloud shut the door behind them with a soft click, and Zack smiled, reaching behind Cloud's shoulder to fasten the deadbolt.

"Maybe we should take advantage of this time alone," Zack said huskily, suddenly wanting - and needing - to reconnect with his lover again. Zack felt guilty about the argument they'd had up on the mountain before, and wanted to make it up to Cloud; to reassure him that he still loved him, no matter what. He framed Cloud's face with his hands and tipped his chin upward, slowly kissing him.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper with you up there," Zack said quietly, his lips moving gently against Cloud's.

"It's all right," Cloud returned, resting his head slightly against Zack's chest. "I deserved it. I'm being a - a coward, with Tifa. I swear, I was going to talk to her, but after all the shit that happened today - " His voice faltered as he thought once again of Quinn and Weingarten. "We should tell the clerk - that they won't be needing their rooms anymore."

"Yeah," Zack nodded soberly. "We'll have to get their personal effects out of there as well. And...I'll have to inform their parents." Zack growled, clutching Cloud's head to his chest. "I'll never get used to that part of being a SOLDIER. Telling people that their loved one isn't coming home." Zack stood back and dipped his head down to kiss Cloud again, a bit more roughly this time.

"What time is your mom expecting us back?" Zack whispered, pushing Cloud gently toward the bed. His hands wandered up to Cloud's belt buckle quickly unfastening it, and the cadet sucked in his breath as he saw Zack get down on his knees. Heavy, calloused hands worked at Cloud's pants, easing them down over the slim hips and sliding them down.

"Uh - she - she said - whenever we were done, to – to come over – oh shit," Cloud gasped as he felt the cool air of the room hit his most sensitive areas, followed by the warm tickle of Zack's breath ghosting over his member. "Oh gods...Zack..." Cloud moaned, fingers weaving into the nest of raven spikes.

Cloud whimpered as he felt Zack's lips slowly kissing up his inner thigh, the rough scratch of light stubble causing him to writhe and moan. Zack grinned, giving a long, slow lick up the underside of Cloud's member, savoring every nuance and sensation. He wanted to drink in his lover, literally and figuratively; sex was their way back to each other when the world around them had gone crazy.

Zack began slowly sucking and stroking Cloud with one hand while the other wandered down to his own hardness, wanting to get himself off quickly. Cloud was close himself – so close, though he kept holding back due to his worry that Sephiroth could walk in at any moment and catch them in the act.

"Z-Zack – what if – what if Sephiroth comes back and catches – oh sweet Shiva," Cloud murmured, crying out despite his attempt to be quiet.

"He won't," Zack hummed around Cloud's length in his mouth, the murmured phrase causing a pleasant vibration throughout his body. Zack grinned, scraping his teeth against his lover, the sensation drawing out another agonized yet muffled cry from Cloud. Zack began moaning in tandem with Cloud, the friction of his calloused hand on his own member bringing him closer to the edge.

In the end, all it took to push Cloud that little bit further was four words from Zack: "Come for me, Cloud." The cadet's legs splayed out as he arched his back, biting onto his own fist as he spilled into Zack's mouth.

The two lay there panting, silent for a few moments before Zack pulled himself up next to Cloud, nuzzling against his neck.

" _Now_ we should get cleaned up, hmm?" Zack purred, a mischievous smile curving his lips. He knew he'd caught Cloud off guard in a very good way with the spontaneous act, but it provided a release that they both really needed after the mission had gone so horribly wrong. Cloud grinned back at him, still a bit nervous that Sephiroth could walk in on them, but otherwise feeling very relaxed and satisfied indeed.

"You _did_ lock the door, right?" Cloud asked playfully. He reached his hand up to Zack's face, threading his fingers through the raven hair. "Thank you, Zack."

"I did lock the door," Zack reassured him. He gave Cloud a kiss on his forehead and smiled. "And you're welcome, but you never have to thank me for _that_ , Cloud." Zack laughed softly as he got to his feet, pulling Cloud up with him. "I just – needed to touch you again, Cloud," Zack whispered. "I hate fighting with you like that."

"Don't apologize," Cloud argued. "I've been acting like a brat. And I…needed this too, I think. Just to be with you. It's been a hell of a day."

"Yeah," Zack drawled wearily. "That it has been. It'll be nice to relax a bit now and visit with your mom."

* * *

Many hours had passed until Sephiroth returned with several wild boar that he'd already skinned, cleaned and quartered, discarding the innards in the woods behind Shinra mansion. Genesis's nostrils flared at the scent of blood, and he looked up from the fire he was tending as Sephiroth entered the great room.

"Ah, dinner has arrived," Genesis quipped. He shook from the cold draft that blew through the old house, and drew nearer to the fire. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow with some concern at . SOLDIERS were equipped to withstand the elements...and it wasn't even _that_ cold in the room. The mansion was a bit damp and musty, as old houses tend to be, but it was not anywhere near as cold as the Northern Continent.

"Are you all right?" Sephiroth asked Genesis who waved him off irritably.

"Just fine," Genesis lied. "Here - thread the meat onto the spit, and we'll roast it." He began instructing Sephiroth, hoping to change the subject.

"Your hair is nearly the color of mine now," Sephiroth said accusingly. "Genesis – you really aren't well, are you?"

"As I've been trying to _tell_ you, Sephiroth," Genesis shot back. His teeth chattered and his body shook, wracked by the dampness. He gave Sephiroth a weak smile as he rubbed his hands together briskly to warm them. "I should leave for warmer climes," Genesis quipped. "However…I don't think I'd be very welcome back in Costa del Sol, after recent events."

"Recent events, pah! I heard about what happened there," Sephiroth said gruffly. He sat next to Genesis on the floor, drawing his knees up, resting his elbows upon them. He gazed into the flames of the fireplace. "Some might call it genocide," Sephiroth ventured. He knew he was poking at a hornet's nest prodding at Genesis in this fashion, but he wanted to make some sense out of the chaos.

"It was not me!" Genesis protested. "Genetic copies, Sephiroth. It has been the science division's plan all along!" he blurted. As his anger rose, pink mottled spots broke out on his face, creating a striking contrast to the deadly pallor that had drained the color from the once handsome looking face.

Sephiroth raised his head slowly, fixing his gaze upon that of Genesis. Suddenly he'd forgotten about the hunger pangs that had plagued him strongly enough to drive him to hunt his own dinner. "Genesis. You're keeping something from me. Just _what_ has been the science division's plan all along?" he asked pointedly. The buzzing in his head had increased at least tenfold, those voices even more

"You really don't _know_ , do you?" Genesis replied questioningly, his voice tired and ragged. "Sephiroth – I've been trying to let you digest this in your own way, in your own time, but…you're either not seeing it, or not _wanting_ to see it. I've all but spelled it out for you, led you to the trail of clues and information that have been buried here for decades – "

"Out with it," Sephiroth spat. "Damn it, Genesis! If this involves me, I have a right to know!" He stood with a flourish, his ever-present leather duster actually making a whooshing sound, so quickly he rose to his feet in his fury.

Genesis regarded him glumly with some degree of pity -though he prayed to Minerva it didn't show in his countenance. "You're right, of course," Genesis said slowly. "You do have a right to know. You….you are a pawn, Sephiroth. As am I, as Angeal is – or was. I think he's dead, I don't even know," he continued, stifling a sob. "I no longer feel him in here!" He thumped upon his chest for emphasis, hand shaking as he stared toward the floor. "He – he passed into the Lifestream, I think – in Modeoheim – "

Sephiroth grimaced, shutting his eyes tightly, envisioning the passing of his friend – the heart of SOLDIER – even though he hadn't been there at that exact moment; he felt Genesis's pain as surely as if it was his own. "Angeal was a great man," Sephiroth said slowly. "He deserved better than to be Hollander's plaything. You deserved better as well, Genesis. I no longer hold your transgressions – or your desertion from SOLDIER – against you," he added, thinking the gesture to be noble and generous.

Genesis merely scoffed. "How wonderful, Sephiroth. _You_ forgive _me_! Oh, I can sleep well _now_ , I'm sure – "

"The meat is beginning to burn," Sephiroth interrupted. "Tend to it already, would you, Genesis? " he snapped.

"Shut _up_ , Sephiroth," Genesis retorted, though he dutifully checked on the spit, pulling the sizzling meat off of the bones with a long fork, tossing it sloppily onto a platter he'd found in the long-ago abandoned kitchen of the Manor.

"You're avoiding my question," Sephiroth pressed accusingly. " _How_ was I a pawn? Answer me, Genesis!"

"Fine," Genesis snapped back, tossing the platter toward Sephiroth, letting it slide toward the general. The pewter plate clattered noisily upon the clay tiles of the hearth. "Jenova…is a sample, obtained by Shinra's science division. Believed to be a Cetra, Jenova's cells were implanted into Angeal's mother while she was pregnant. Her Jenova-laden cells were injected into me, when I was an infant, or so the story goes," Genesis went on. He gave Sephiroth a pitying look before continuing.

"And you, Sephiroth…Jenova's cells were injected directly into you, while in your mother's womb. While in Lucrecia's womb," he clarified.

Sephiroth seemed to not even hear Genesis; he was staring back toward the stone wall that led to the hidden spiral staircase, and then shook his head back and forth frantically.

"So…we are Cetra, then?" Sephiroth asked Genesis, unable to meet his eyes. "We are…the chosen ones? The ones who could have reached the Promised Land, had it not been for humanity tinkering with our DNA?"

"No – that's not quite it, Sephiroth – gods, I never should have said anything!" Genesis said, exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air. "The Promised Land? That is nothing but myth and legend…"

"Oh? Myths and legends, as you know….have some basis in reality," Sephiroth argued. "Some kernel of truth is at the center of every legend since the dawn of time." Sephiroth's eyes blazed with a newborn madness; they seemed to glow from within. He shook his head harder, the silver gossamer of his hair flying out from side to side in a silken blanket.

"Our birthright…. _my_ birthright," Sephiroth muttered. "Stolen…by humans." The voices, they were stronger now, more forceful. More _feminine_.

**_Feel your anger, my son. Rise up, and free me from my prison. Your poor mother…have pity on me, my angel….my Sephiroth!_ **

"I have to go, Genesis," Sephiroth said abruptly, smoothing out his leather trench and dusting it off as he stood. "There is something I must attend to. They must atone…."

"What are you talking about, Sephiroth?" Genesis cut in. " _Who_ must atone? Sephiroth - believe me, I understand the need for revenge. To punish those who have wronged us, Hollander and his ilk, but since losing Angeal…if there is one thing I have learned, vengeance will not bring back those we loved!"

Sephiroth smiled sadly and gave Genesis a gentle pat on the shoulder. "You are dying, my friend. When I return, all will be ashes - including you."

The sound of metal striking against the leather echoed throughout the foyer as Sephiroth freed masamune from its sheath. "I will free her, Genesis, do not worry," Sephiroth intoned drolly, a mad, vacant look coming over his eyes. "And I will avenge her…avenge our mother."

"Sephiroth, you're mad!" Genesis protested. "Madder even than I! We do _not_ share a mother, Sephiroth, the legacy we share is that of tainted cell matter!"

The general roared loudly, a guttural sound that echoed horribly within the stone walls of the old mansion. "You would speak ill of Jenova that way? She who gave you such _power_? You ingrate!" Gritting his teeth, Sephiroth drew back his right arm and thrust it forward quickly, jutting a high-level bolt spell at Genesis.

"Die, then," Sephiroth mocked him as he fell to his knees, writhing in agony. "On your knees, like the little bitch that you are. You are not worthy to share in Jenova's legacy." He grinned maniacally, not even giving a last glance to the fallen SOLDIER, calmly and serenely exiting the once-grand Shinra Manor through the front double doors.

_The world is ours now, Mother. And I shall help you claim what is rightfully yours._

**_You are a good son, Sephiroth. A good son. The best son. The others – they were never as perfect as you. Never. No one can compare. Now come, and free me. Take me with you, and punish those who would see us fail._ **

_I will, Mother. I will. I am coming for you._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And so it begins…the fall of Nibelheim will take place in the next chapter. At least Zack and Cloud got to have a moment alone in this chapter. I hope I did Sephiroth's degeneration into madness some justice. While it may seem to have happened rather abruptly, it's actually been a slow buildup over time, the voices/buzzing in his head, and Genesis being maddeningly vague. It ends up that the lie of omission – that of withholding the truth from Sephiroth, is what triggers this descent into madness.


	25. My Violent Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from bad to worse in Nibelheim, and Cloud has to deal with the fallout. Yes, it's That Chapter.

_You and I, we may look the same_  
But we are very far apart  
There's bullet-holes where my compassion used to be  
And there is violence in my heart

**"My Violent Heart" - Nine Inch Nails**

* * *

Dinner at the Strife house was a relaxed affair, even more so now that Zack had already met Cloud's mother once before. The diminutive blonde woman fussed over the two young men, causing a fair bit of blushing and muttering from Cloud, and making Zack chuckle warmly.

It was nice to feel this normalcy once again, sitting around the small table and sharing a hearty meal together. Zack tucked into the stew and buttered potatoes as if he hadn't eaten in weeks, and Cloud put away far more food than he normally did.

"My recipe makes eight servings, but I daresay you two won't be leaving me any leftovers!" Reyja said teasingly, her blue eyes dancing with mischief.

"Mmfph," Zack grunted around the soft wheat dinner roll he'd just stuffed in his mouth. "S'delicious," he murmured appreciatively, politely wiping butter from the corner of his mouth with the napkin. "Thank you, Mrs. Strife."

"Didn't I tell you to call me Reyja, Zack?" she chided, giving Zack a wink. She smiled, patting Cloud's arm. "I am glad we had this time together, Cloud. And I'm very happy to have met your young man. So...when's the wedding?"

Cloud began choking on his food, and Zack clapped him on the back, offering him a glass of water as he gave a nervous chuckle.

"Well...I wasn't expecting _that_ question, to be honest," Zack said, laughing as Cloud glared at him and attempted to collect himself. "But since you asked..." Zack gave Cloud a curious glance, and the cadet shrugged his shoulders, nodding.

"We've talked about it, sure," Zack went on, trying to sound nonchalant. "But...we're still young, and Cloud's determined to get into SOLDIER. And I'm going to everything I can to support him."

"I don't think my chances are very good," Cloud said dubiously. "And...things are up in the air right now at the Academy anyway. They'll be getting new instructors, I mean," Cloud said quickly, when his mother looked at him questioningly. He didn't want to let his mother know that some of the instructors were to be replaced because they'd been killed in the line of duty - that was not something he wanted to saddle his mother with, especially over dinner.

"You're smart, Cloud, and you're strong," Reyja argued. "I don't want to hear 'I can't' from you. Sure, you've always been small, but you've grown quite a bit since you left home, you know. I can even see muscles on you," she added, grinning as she pinched his biceps, which were indeed developing.

"C'mon, flex those guns for your mom," Zack joined in, ribbing Cloud. "She's right, you know. Hitting the weights and training with me is really paying off, Cloud. You look _good_."

Cloud blushed at the attention, but smiled at the compliment. He knew Zack was right; he'd been training hard, and it was a good thing he had been. Their recent missions had tested them both mentally and physically, and Cloud knew that if he had not kept up with his training, then he wouldn't have been able to keep up with the missions.

"Thanks Zack," Cloud replied with a smile. "I have a good trainer, though." He gave Zack a shy, sideways grin.

"So...you're Cloud's teacher?" Reyja inquired, her eyes narrowing. "I've been meaning to ask how you met, actually."

"I don't have Cloud as a student," Zack quickly explained. "We just train together at the gym and stuff. I do work as an instructor, though. Basic swordsmanship is what I teach."

"Cloud's always been good with a sword, ever since he was a wee young thing," Reyja reminisced, nodding. "You don't have any rules against...fraternizing with students there?"

Her question was pointed, though she tried to keep any hint of accusation out of her tone; learning that Zack was not a fellow student but an _instructor_ at the Academy, just made Reyja a tiny bit nervous. Zack seemed like a very nice young man, she thought - but she worried too, that Cloud might be getting in over his head, swept off of his feet by a handsome, older man. It was simply a mother's way to worry, and Reyja needed the extra reassurance that Zack would do right by Cloud.

"No, there's not - I mean, if I had Cloud as a student in one of my classes, then yes...our relationship would not be allowed," Zack admitted. "Cloud had these same worries, Reyja, when we started dating. Don't worry...I would _never_ do anything dishonorable. It would go against what SOLDIER stands for. Honor...it's one of our pillars, our moral code." Zack felt a slight tug at his heart at his own words, thinking of Angeal, and what honor meant to him.

What _would_ happen to SOLDIER, now that Angeal was gone? He'd been the heart of SOLDIER after all, the glue that held them all together. Zack supposed he'd have to fill those shoes himself someday, when they returned to Midgar.

Reyja nodded thoughtfully, her gaze travelling back and forth from her son, to Zack. "I don't doubt that you are an honorable man, Zack," she replied slowly, and then sighed. "It's what a mother does, I suppose - worries about her children, even when they've grown into fine young men like my Cloud has done,." She smiled at Cloud, eyes slightly damp with tears though she stubbornly blinked them back.

"I am very proud of you Cloud, and how far you've come," Reyja told her son. "And I can see how happy you are with Zack; your eyes are shining with a joy that I've not seen in a long time. I am grateful for that."

"I am too, mom," Cloud said quietly, a wide grin on his face. "Meeting Zack has been the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Me too," Zack echoed, grinning. "And, well...as for marriage..." Now it was Zack's turn to blush, very aware of Reyja's scrutinous gaze on him. "Well, to answer your question from earlier, Cloud and I _have_ talked about it, and when the time is right - "

"It's in our future plans," Cloud cut in, smiling. "I know it probably isn't what you pictured for me, but - "

"But nothing, Cloud!" Reyja snorted. "You're happy, I can see that. I'm glad you're not rushing into marriage, though, especially with my Cloud still in school. And Zack...you treat my son well, and you will have my blessing." Her pretty face relaxed into a warm smile. "Just promise me you won't run off and elope at the Gold Saucer, when the time comes, hmm? I'd like to see my only son's wedding."

Zack nodded, beaming. He'd won over Cloud's mother after all, and it was a wonderful feeling of being accepted into the family fold. "Of course we will. And...my parents will be there too," Zack added, giving Cloud a sideways smile. He decided then and there, once this mission in Nibelheim was completed, he would be taking Cloud to Gongaga on their next vacation, to meet his parents. It was time.

As Reyja began to get up and clear dishes from the table, Zack waved for her to sit down and relax. "Please...let us do the dishes, we don't mind. You put your feet up, Cloud and I will take care of the washing up."

"Yeah, go on, mom...take a rest. I know you must have spent all day cooking dinner for us, you must be so tired," Cloud told his mother.

"Well...I may have a bit of blackberry brandy and sit in the recliner for a bit, now that you mention it," Reyja replied. She was tired, but it had all been worth it; making Cloud's favorite meal, and seeing it well enjoyed by both of the young men made her heart happy and content.

"Good," Cloud said, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek. "Like I've been telling Zack...the only things I missed about Nibelheim were you, and your cooking."

A shadow fell across Reyja's face, and she sighed. "I know you didn't have an easy time growing up here, Cloud," Reyja said, her voice laced with regret as she poured herself a small glass of brandy from the decanter. "Some of the kids were downright horrible to you. And I regret that we were stuck here, I couldn't afford for us to move after your father died - "

"It's okay, mom," Cloud assured her. "Really, it is. It's not your fault. And who knows, even if we moved...kids can be assholes just about anywhere. I ran into a few in Midgar, even." He gave his mother a small smile, wanting to make her feel better. He wasn't about to go into details about Fredo and his minions; it was a thing Cloud wanted to forget, and bury in the past.

As Zack stood over the sink filling it with hot, soapy water, he overheard Cloud and his mother speaking about his father. It occurred to Zack suddenly that he didn't really know much about Cloud's father at all, or what had happened to him. All he did know, was that Mr. Strife had been a mythril miner, and had died in some sort of accident when Cloud was very young.

Cloud rejoined Zack near the sink, grabbing a dish towel from the chrome rack fastened to the wall. "You wash, I'll dry. And try not to break anything, either," Cloud cracked.

"Ha! Smartass. I am _very_ domesticated, thank you very much - " Zack protested.

"And who domesticated you, hmm?" Cloud teased back. Reyja smiled, watching from her chair in the living room as the two playfully bantered back and forth with one another. She could see the love and affection between Cloud and his boyfriend, and it gave her even more reassurance that all would be right; that her only son, the one she'd feared would be a loner all his life, had found someone to love. Someone who seemed to love him just as much in return.

 _He seems to be a good man, this Zack Fair_ , Reyja thought as she sipped on her brandy. _I can tell he is. I may not get the grandbabies I'd always dreamed about, unless they adopt some orphans, but knowing my son is happy and is loved...a mother cannot ask for more than that._ She smiled, closing her eyes as she sat back in her chair and continued listening to Zack and Cloud teasing each other relentlessly.

* * *

At the Shinra Manor, and Genesis had gone after Sephiroth, trying to stop him from returning to the reactor, trying to ignore the physical weakness he felt in his body. "You cannot go, Sephiroth," he'd protested. "This is madness! What we _need_ is the gift of the goddess. Minerva, she holds the key to cure our affliction - not Jenova."

"What you speak of is madness, Genesis," Sephiroth sneered. "Myths and legends, dead gods and goddesses of yesteryear. Minerva does not exist."

Genesis's mouth fell open at such blasphemy. He knew Sephiroth was a skeptic on such things, but to hear him denounce their patron like that - the goddess of Mother Earth - things were even worse than he thought.

"How dare you speak of her that way!" Genesis sputtered. "Minerva _is_ real, Sephiroth. I believe - "

"No, you fool," Sephiroth snapped. He turned on the path and hooked his fingers into Genesis's tattered lapels, growling. " _Jenova_ is real. Don't you hear her, Genesis? She needs us, her sons, to go and free her. And you ignore her cries for some made-up deity," he scoffed. "What is wrong with you!"

"I'm not Jenova's son!" Genesis exclaimed. "Do you know what they called Jenova, the science division? The 'Calamity that fell from the skies.' It's all there in Gast's report. You denounce Minerva, yet you believe in the myth of the Promised Land. How can you reconcile that?"

"I've _read_ Gast's report," Sephiroth replied icily. "While he had a far better understanding of things than either Hojo or Hollander did, his report is full of inaccuracies and flaws. And I do not have to explain to you why I believe the things I believe, and what beliefs I choose to reject and why."

"What flaws?" Genesis demanded. "Sephiroth...you're not making any sense. Gast's report was clear and concise. He wasn't the bumbling _hack_ that Hollander has proven to be."

Sephiroth threw his head back and laughed. "You couldn't possibly understand, Genesis, even if I took the time to explain it all to you. I do not have time for this; I need to get to her. And do not try to stop me, or you will be killed."

"I will be on my way, then," Genesis replied coolly, shaking his head sadly. "I pity you, Sephiroth. You are misguided at best…mad at worst. Minerva is our only hope for salvation - and the cure for my degradation. I will bid you adieu, then. I have rested enough here…now I must set out to search for the goddess materia so that I may heal."

"Oh, the fabled Goddess materia, hmm? More myths and legends, Genesis," Sephiroth said mockingly. "I do not have time for your fairy tales. I hope your death is quick and painless, when it comes."

Genesis looked back upon his friend and comrade sadly. There was a time when Genesis thought Sephiroth was the sanest of them all, and that he was the one who'd gone mad. Now, much too late, Genesis was starting to see the error of his ways. Genesis had been the first of the three friends to show physical evidence of the Jenova taint, and Sephiroth had been the last. Jenova's influence was now leaving Genesis, and latching onto Sephiroth's will, quickly shaping it into something horrid. It was a horrible realization for the Banoran, and an awful thing to witness, seeing the abrupt change in Sephiroth.

"Something is broken and twisted inside of you, Sephiroth...and it's being molded into something dreadful. Do not forget who you are, Sephiroth," Genesis cautioned.

Sephiroth laughed again madly. His hair flew in front of his face, slightly obscuring his vision but he did not seem to take notice . "Ha, ha, ha! And just what am I anyway, Genesis? You're the one who told me I was a monster!"

"But you are not just that, Sephiroth! You are a SOLDIER! The best the world has seen. And we _all_ have a monster within us, Sephiroth," Genesis replied, a rueful look upon his face as he reflected upon all of his own transgressions from the past months. All the lives he'd taken when the madness threatened to consume him from within; Genesis did feel remorse for his acts now. Seeing Sephiroth set off upon a similar path had frightened Genesis enough into action, wanting to prevent Sephiroth from making the same mistakes he'd made.

But the Banoran SOLDIER's body grew weaker each day, with each breath and each step. The once-lush auburn hair had quickly transformed into sleek white strands; the lack of pigmentation was more pronounced even now, in the days that had passed since Genesis had sequestered himself away in the mansion.

Slowly, Genesis came to the reluctant realization that he could not save Sephiroth; but, he could perhaps save himself.

"We all have a monster inside," Genesis repeated in a soft monotone. He fell again to his knees, cursing himself for what he'd done, for what he'd revealed to Sephiroth. Genesis had hoped to convince the general to join him on his quest to seek the fabled Gift of the Goddess, and in that he had failed.

* * *

**_First you must punish them, Sephiroth. Those miserable humans, the wretches who used Mother. Cut her and slit her, drawing out her precious blood for their own selfish gains._ **

**_Punish them, and then go to her._ **

The voices came again to Sephiroth as he wandered about the acreage behind the Shinra Mansion, though this time it was not that incessant external buzzing, much like flies swarming about his head.

These voices came from within, as if his conscience had suddenly manifested itself into something physical, inside his brain. It took Sephiroth by surprise, but he quickly accepted the internal utterings of his mind.

"I will come for you, Mother. Fear not. I have been foolish and misguided...wasting my time listening to Genesis," Sephiroth spoke to no one, but his gaze fell upon the peak of Mount Nibel in the distance. He abruptly reversed course, the hem of his leather trench whipping around his tall leather boots as he marched resolutely back toward town.

_How dare they hurt her! They tried to harness that which they did not understand, an Ancient magic greater than themselves. This miserable human race, they know nothing. Nothing!_

_I am chosen. I am one of the last surviving Ancients. I am the Planet's last hope._

First house on the left - it was the closest target, and Sephiroth smirked cruelly as he lobbed a massive fire spell at the quaint little stuccoed house. He had no idea who resided there, but he knew they were human, he could tell.

It didn't matter who it was, whoever lived there was one of _them_. One of those humans who must be punished for what they'd done to Jenova. As the madness took over his mind, fully blurring the line between reality and hallucination, Sephiroth completely overlooked the one thing that had held him together up until his discoveries in both the reactor and the basement of the Shinra mansion.

That underneath it all, beneath the proud and powerful exterior - this, the world's most powerful SOLDIER, was human too. He'd been born that way, though irreversibly altered with the introduction of Jenova's DNA. As those alien cells began to reawaken fully within Sephiroth's mind and body, the taint of the Calamity made him forget who he was in the grand scheme of things. Jenova's cells began to alter his consciousness and his will into some mad depravity born of another world.

Not that Sephiroth had ever been sure of who he was in the first place. Now everything was clear, though; Sephiroth was certain he'd finally discovered his purpose upon the Planet. He was his Mother's last hope. The others who had gone before had failed him, but he would not. Angeal and his silly ideals of honor, and SOLDIER; and Genesis, too wrapped up in his own vanity to see that Jenova needed him.

It mattered not that the others had failed; Sephiroth vowed then and there that he would avenge all the wrongs that had been done to Jenova, and he would return to set her free. Then, they could start anew. A real mother-and-son reunion, and they could start their lives over somewhere else.

The snap-crack sound of old timber catching flame made Sephiroth smile, as did the screams of the woman trapped within the little house. _Now you know what it is to suffer, you miserable human wretch._

* * *

Days had passed with no sign of Sephiroth, and even Zack was beginning to worry.

"I really didn't think anything could defeat Sephiroth, but there's been no word from him at all," Zack muttered, shaking his head. "Wonder where he could be? We should go up to the Shinra Mansion and check things out, see if he's still there."

He and Cloud had spent the past several days questioning those in the town regarding the makonoids, without putting the concept into words. Zack knew that to incite a panic was the last thing this town needed, and so he posed his questions in the vaguest terms possible, asking villagers if they'd seen anything "strange" around the mountain. Other than hearsay about knowing someone or other who "may have seen a monster", or suspicions of hearing the cries of monsters in the dead of night, not one person questioned could provide actual testimony that they'd witnessed anything odd.

It all lead to dead ends, but the lack of any information made Zack and Cloud uneasy all the same; particularly for the cadet whose hometown this was. "Something is just not right, but I can't figure out what," Cloud had observed as they readied themselves that morning. He felt defeated and glum; not only had their questioning turned up nothing, Cloud had also not gotten the opportunity to speak with Tifa. The young martial artist was away at a competition with her fellow students and instructor, Zangan, though Tifa was due to arrive back in town that day.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, too," Zack muttered. "Something - " He paused suddenly, sniffing the air. "I smell smoke. Cloud - come on! Get your gear; something's happening in the square!" There was a great commotion to be heard, and as Zack and Cloud bounded down the staircase of the Inn, they looked up to see a giant fireball heading their way, straight through the bay window of the little Inn.

" _Cloud, get down_!" Zack screamed, dropping to his belly and pulling Cloud down with him. Cloud's helmet smacked against his forehead from the jolt and he saw stars, his skull aching and throbbing from the impact.

Dazed, the two quickly scrambled to their feet as the entire structure went up in flames, stumbling outside and taking in deep gulps of air. There was fire...everywhere, as far as the eye could see. Cloud looked across the square, just past the water tower to see his childhood home completely aflame.

" _No! Mom_!" Cloud ran toward the inferno, his progress halted by Zack's arms flying out to restrain him and snap him back, preventing him from rushing into certain death.

"Let go, Zack! My mother is in there, damn it! Let…..let go…." Cloud's voice became a whimpered sob; he coughed, choking on the thick black smoke that hung like a death mask over the sleepy mountain town. "I have to get her out!"

Zack's heart sank for Cloud as he realized the inevitable; that she was gone. Cloud's only family, his mother, whom Zack had only just met - gone. Burned alive, the victim of Sephiroth's mad rage. Zack shouted after the black-leather clad figure that was quickly retreating from the town; he rushed after Sephiroth, sword drawn and ready, but came to a skidding stop when the front _wall_ of the Strife home simply fell over toward him, a whoosh of heat and soot racing toward them both. Zack nearly tripped backwards as he shoved Cloud out of the way. The cadet was still struggling to get into the flaming inferno of his mother's home.

"No! We can't go in there, Cloud! Cloud….Cloud….it's too late!" Zack shouted. What had once been Cloud's home had now been reduced to matchsticks; there was no way anyone inside could have survived. Already the frame of the little house was reduced to cinders; there, inside, was one barely discernable human form, half-slumped over to the side in the overstuffed recliner in the living room.

Reyja Strife had been sitting in her chair; she'd been knitting a scarf meant for Cloud when the fireball hit. She died almost instantly, but not without some degree of agony as she was immolated by Sephiroth's fire spell. Cloud wanted to go to his mother, wanted to at least see what was left, but the flames were too great, the heat too intense.

Other structures had caught fire as the flames spread; Tifa's house, just next door, was quickly ablaze. Tifa's father had rushed out of the house, grateful his daughter was not yet home, but was looking around frantically to see whether or not she had arrived.

"Shove off, Zack!" Cloud argued. "It's not – not too late – " He struggled against the strong arms that held him back, sobs racking in his chest. "Mom – _mama_ – " Cloud cried out. He stumbled and nearly fell to his knees in his grief. Zack quickly helped him to his feet again, steadying him. His own rage was boiling over, but he contained it.

 _For now_. Zack would deal with Sephiroth as soon as he was sure Cloud was okay. _Okay?_ Zack scoffed inwardly at his own naiveté. _How in the hell is he ever going to be okay, his mother just went up in flames!_

"Cloud – _Cloud_ , she's gone. I'm so sorry….but she's gone. She's gone," Zack whispered, placing his hands squarely on the cadet's shoulders, bracing him. "Cloud? Did you hear what I said?"

The cadet looked up at him blankly, hearing no sound; Zack's lips were moving, but Cloud couldn't hear a word he was saying, as shock set in. Even the sounds of destruction surrounding Cloud - of terrified screams, and the licking flames, buildings collapsing all around them – all was dead silent to Cloud as his brain tried to process what had happened.

It was but a moment before Cloud lifted his eyes to meet Zack's once again, and he asked his lover the question to which they'd never have an answer. One word.

" _Why_?"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Agggh, this was another hard chapter to write. Poor Cloud! :(
> 
> I hope y'all are sticking with me, we're at the home stretch here! Just a few more chapters to go. Many thanks to those who have followed this work and given me much needed feedback.


	26. Taste The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Cloud deal with the fallout of the destruction of Nibelheim; the Turks regroup; and Quinn's heritage is discovered.

_Walk away and taste the pain  
Come again some other day_

**Taste The Pain - Red Hot Chili Peppers**

* * *

Cloud remained in his daze until the sound of loud voices broke through his stupor. Someone was shouting - it was Tifa's father, yelling frantically for his daughter as he dashed about the center of town, circling the water tower. Several young men were already rolling out a fire hose that they had fastened to a spigot on the water tower, and others were taking action right away, casting water-based spells upon the scattered fires.

However the heaviest damage had already been done, and very quickly at that. Sephiroth's fire attacks had come one right after the other, and the silver-haired general was already long gone. Villagers were left to tend to the injured and the dead, much too busy now to chase after the perpetrator.

"Tifa! Has anyone seen my daughter! _Tifa_!" the distraught man was yelling, eyes watering from the smoke-filled air as well as tears. He suddenly seemed to notice Cloud; the cadet had taken his helmet off, a shock of blond hair standing out against the blackened soot that coated his face in a grimy film.

"Cloud?" Mr. Lockhart stared at the cadet in disbelief. "Cloud Strife, is that _you_? I had no idea you were in town. So...you're with Shinra. Your - your mother - " The man's voice faltered as he glanced backward toward the smoking ruins of the Strife home.

"I know," Cloud finally replied. "I know she's gone. I...saw enough." Cloud blinked at the man, the tracks of his tears creating the only clean spot on his sooty face.

"I'm so sorry, Cloud," Mr. Lockhart gasped, trying to catch his breath. "Your mother. I tried to get to her in time - "

"It's not your fault," Zack reassured the man. "Nobody could have gotten to her in time; the attack was so fast - Sephiroth - " Zack's expression was grim as he tried to explain what had happened. "I don't know what triggered this, sir," the SOLDIER went on. "All I know is, Sephiroth was conducting an investigation. After that...I don't know what happened. His attack on this town was definitely _not_ sanctioned by SOLDIER, and I'll see to it that he's stripped of his ranking when I report back to Headquarters," Zack added firmly.

"Good," Mr. Lockhart said bitterly. "Thanks to him, our town is in ruins. Ruins! The boys - " He glanced toward the young men who were doing their best to contain the fire. "It will take years to rebuild. Cloud, if you see Tifa - "

"I'll let her know you're looking for her sir, of course," Cloud replied. He felt sick to his stomach and exhausted from grief that he really had not had time enough to process fully just yet.

"I saw Sephiroth head that way just now," Mr. Lockhart said with a nod toward the north. "I'm going after him. I know he's responsible for this; I caught him in the act. When I came over to see if I could help Reyja, the bastard was just casting spell after spell, setting everything on fire, standing there _laughing_ \- " His voice broke and he swallowed hard, nodding at Cloud. Any transgression the man had imagined Cloud had committed years ago was already forgotten; the young man had just lost his mother in a most horrific fashion, and Mr. Lockhart vowed then and there to avenge the loss of his friend and neighbor, as well as the ruination of his town and his home. The Lockhart house was badly damaged, though by now the fire was put out. With some work, it could be partially rebuilt; there was no such hope for the Strife home. There was nothing left, save for a smoldering hole in the ground.

Wisps of smoke rose up from the rubble of Cloud's home, and he looked back toward the blackened embers with angry tears in his eyes. "Sephiroth will pay for this, Zack," Cloud said in a hollow tone. Anger was replacing the sadness he felt - for now. The rage he felt was displacing his sorrow, but Cloud knew he would simply have to allow himself time later to grieve his mother's death. When he returned from killing Sephiroth.

"He'll pay for this," Cloud repeated stonily. "I swear to Shiva, Zack, I'm going to kill him."

"I won't stop you from trying to off him, honestly," Zack muttered darkly. "He deserves it. "Cloud found himself a bit surprised that Zack hadn't protested over his threat against the general. Technically, it could be seen as mutiny - Sephiroth was the highest-ranking member of SOLDIER, though as far as Zack was concerned, what had just occurred was reason enough to strip the general of his ranking.

"Come on. We'll deal with Sephiroth...together," he added with a growl. The silver-haired general was already long gone, heading back toward Mount Nibel as he made a quick exit up the mountain path, and before Zack could stop Tifa's father, he was already out of view.

"Wait! Mr. Lockhart..." Zack called after him. "Shit. Cloud, we had better hurry. He's charging in there unarmed, and you know he's no match for Sephiroth." _I don't know if we are, either_ , Zack thought somberly. _We don't have much choice in the matter, though._ _Sephiroth must be stopped._

* * *

Back at Shinra Headquarters, President Shinra sat at his large desk; seated opposite him was Professor Hojo. The two were speaking in fairly hushed tones, even though they were the only occupants within the expansive office suite.

"So, what is it you want now, Hojo?" The president said gruffly, chewing on a stub of cigar. He had no love for Hojo or his methods, but the man did deliver results when it came to the SOLDIER program. The aberrations that had resulted in Angeal and Genesis's physical and mental breakdowns were placed solely on the shoulders of Hollander. Hojo made it quite clear to the President that while those two experiments were failures, Project S was not.

Then, there was the matter of the nearly-dead girl that one of the Shinra drones had found in the ravine. It was a female, which Hojo deemed inferior for the purposes of a possible Jenova clone, but perhaps she could be used for breeding.

"Two cadets were lost in Nibelheim," Hojo explained carefully. "I've received some preliminary reports already." Nibelheim, like any other city or town on the Planet, had carefully placed Shinra spies and operatives residing there, blending in so well with the villagers that nobody there was the wiser.

"One cadet - Weingarten, was incinerated beyond recognition. No retrieval will be necessary, as there is nothing left to retrieve," Hojo went on. "However, the female - Cadet Mallory -she may be of some use to us as yet, for the second stage of Project S."

President Shinra sneered around the fat cigar in his mouth. "And is your pet project aware that you've taken his DNA, intending to create a new generation of little Sephiroth's running amuck?"

"I have kept Sephiroth in the dark virtually his entire life," Hojo replied dryly. The scientist was unaware as yet that Sephiroth had indeed uncovered some of the truth - or what he _perceived_ to be the truth - and had reacted very badly to it. It would not be long before the Turks started receiving reports of Sephiroth's attack on Nibelheim, and an elaborate cover-up would begin.

"Keep up the ruse, then, and there should be no difficulty in allowing you to continue this project up in our facility in Nibelheim," President Shinra replied. "And what condition is the girl in now?"

"Clinically, she's already dead," Hojo informed him. "But that is no matter to me, she can be revived for my purposes. What matters is the girl's lineage, which is of some interest to this project."

"Another Ancient?" The President interjected, his curiosity roused. Hojo shook his head negatively.

"No, nothing like that," Hojo replied. "However, I ran some tests on her blood samples that were obtained upon her entry into the Academy. A very interesting background, indeed. The girl's DNA markers match those of Shiva."

"Shiva? As in the summon?" The President's attention was caught now, and he stubbed out his smoldering cigar as he nodded at Hojo. "I do not know how such a thing is possible...however, the details are inconsequential to me. If you can harness the power of the Ice Goddess, and implant it into a Sephiroth clone - " The fat man smirked, sitting back in his chair as he locked eyes with Hojo. "Well. The possibilities for our military division would be astounding."

"Indeed, and it is a concept well worth exploring, I believe," Hojo replied, glad that he'd gotten the President on board so easily. It didn't take much convincing in the end, as it turned out. "I will need a flight out to Nibelheim right away, and of course, funding..."

"Consider it done," the President agreed. He stood up from his chair, ready to dismiss Hojo; he would momentarily be conducting a board meeting with the Executive Staff. The President felt no need to confide in the executive board about Hojo's latest venture, although it wasn't as if he needed their votes anyway, the oligarch had absolute power as far as the Science division was concerned. Funding to Hollander's research had been cut, but when the President saw the results Hojo delivered, the scientist more or less had a blank check from Shinra, Inc., for his own research. Getting financial backing from the president only served to inflate Hojo's ego, his sense of self-importance, but worst of all - it encouraged his ruthless research and utter disregard for humanity.

"I will have Tseng fly you out to Nibelheim," the President added in closing. "You may rely on his discretion." Tseng would be given as few details as possible; the Turks were on a need-to-know basis in such matters, and as far as President Shinra was concerned, they didn't need to know about _this_.

"Good," Hojo replied, secretly glad the outspoken Reno hadn't been assigned to him. Tseng was quiet, reliable, and kept his mouth shut, unlike the other one. "I thank you for your support, Mr. President. I have great confidence that I will achieve the optimal results with this experiment."

"Fine, fine," President Shinra said gruffly and dismissively, waving his hand as he shooed Hojo out of his office. "Keep me updated on any progress as needed. I have a meeting to attend to now. Excuse me."

* * *

Zangan was driving the SUV over the bumpy terrain of the countryside just outside Nibelheim when the students on board began sniffing the air curiously.

"I smell smoke," Tifa complained, straining to see out the window. Her mouth fell open as their vehicle approached the town limits; thick, dark clouds of smoke hung over the little mountain village, looking like black crepe.

"There's been a fire!" Zangan shouted, slamming the transmission into park as he and Tifa hastily scrambled from the vehicle. Tifa was already running at top speed toward the village, eyes darting about to and fro frantically as she searched for her only family left in the world - her father.

"Daddy!" Tifa screamed, adrenaline rushing through her body, her heart pounding wildly as she ran haphazardly through the burnt-out town, yelling at anyone she ran into, to ask if they'd seen her father.

She came upon three young men - volunteer firefighters in Nibelheim. All three were sooty and tired, who had spent the afternoon battling the blazes, and were checking each of the burned houses and structures for any occupants within - dead or alive.

"Guys...have you seen my father?" Tifa asked, heart in her throat and tears in her eyes. "Is he - "

"No," one of the young men replied flatly, exhausted. He took a swig of water from his canteen; his throat was parched and dry from the smoke still hanging in the air. "Strife's mom, though...she didn't make it. Your dad went toward the mountain, to find Sephiroth."

"Oh gods...poor Mrs. Strife! Poor Cloud! Has anyone tried to reach him?" Tifa asked tearfully. "Wait, Sephiroth? What's he got to do with this?"

"Don't know about Cloud," another man replied. "Two Shinra soldiers are still here, maybe one of them will tell him?" He was completely unaware, of course, that one of the soldiers he'd mentioned actually _was_ Cloud. "As for Sephiroth - well, he's the one who started the gods-damned fires. Guy went fucking nuts, started casting Fire 3 everywhere. I never saw anything like it."

"But - " Tifa gasped at the revelation that Sephiroth was at the center of this. "But - how could he! I worked with him just a few days ago, he seemed perfectly fine then! Is Shinra behind this?"

"Nah, don't think so," came a reply from one of the men. "That Zack guy from SOLDIER - he said that Sephiroth musta just flipped his nut and went batshit. Dunno why. He said that Sephiroth was gonna get stripped of his rank and all that shit."

"He deserves more than that," Tifa muttered, shaking her head. "Damned Shinra...dad was right not to trust them. All right. I have to go and find papa - please tell Zangan I had to go!" Before waiting for a reply, Tifa was already running off, bound for one of the secret paths only she knew, an alternate shortcut up the mountain that she'd made many years prior during one of her solo treks. It was the quickest route there, and one that Tifa was grateful now she hadn't shared with the likes of Sephiroth or Shinra. It was a secret route that was hers alone, and now she would use it to her advantage and try to beat both Sephiroth and her father back to Mount Nibel.

* * *

Back at Headquarters, Tseng had received the dispatch to transport Hojo immediately to Nibelheim. He emerged from his office, straightening the lapels on his jacket as he addressed Reno, Rude, and Cissnei.

"Something going on, boss?" Reno inquired, cocking an eyebrow. "You got an assignment for us?"

"Hold down the fort here, please. That is your assignment," Tseng replied curtly. "I have been dispatched to transport Professor Hojo to a job site." Tseng had been instructed by President Shinra not to tell anyone - not even his fellow Turks - where he was going. The thought of withholding such information from his colleagues didn't sit well with Tseng, but - orders were orders.

"Huh," Reno murmured, shrugging his shoulders at Rude and Cissnei. He was just as glad not to have the assignment himself - he and Hojo didn't exactly get along, for one thing. "Fly safe, boss. If you need anything - "

"I won't," Tseng replied briefly, waving as he exited the office. "I'll be back in a day or so. No more questions, please. This is classified."

"Classified?" Rude echoed as the door slammed shut behind Tseng. "Classified, for Tseng's eyes and ears only? What kind of bull is that? "

"Weird, man," Reno observed after Tseng was out of earshot. "Boss was actin' kind of weird, I think. And yeah, Rude….it don't sit too well with me either, being kept in the dark. We're all Turks, right?"

Rude snorted, sipping his coffee. "Well…Tseng wasn't acting any stranger than he usually does. Maybe it's just our imagination, partner. It's nothing unusual for someone from the science department to need a lift, right?" he reasoned. Rude didn't want to admit it, but he had an odd feeling about things too. As often as Rude teased Reno about his 'sixth sense', there were times when the redheaded Turk was actually dead-on with his hunches. Reno had a reputation as Shinra's best profiler, and that reputation was not for nothing.

Cissnei glanced between her two fellow Turks, her expression dubious. Tseng seemed off to her as well; the junior Turk knew that Tseng had no obligation to answer to them. He was the Director after all, and the specifics of any special assignment from the President's office generally stayed between the Turk in question and President Shinra himself.

"I don't know, you guys," Cissnei said doubtfully. "I guess we'll see what happens - "

All heads turned as Kunsel suddenly burst into the Turks office.

"Kunsel?" Reno's eyes widened at the sudden appearance of the Second Class SOLDIER. "What's going on, yo?"

"Nibelheim. Huge fire, most of the town's been burned. Many casualties," Kunsel's words tumbled out in a breathless rush. "Sephiroth's MIA. So are Zack and Cloud. Zack and Cloud are suspected of setting the fires and are on the run. That's all we know. SOLDIER will handle things from here," he went on. "We're shipping out tomorrow."

"Okay," Reno replied slowly, digesting this new information. "So…you guys'll need us Turks for transport, or what?"

"No, it's all set," Kunsel replied vaguely."Listen – I have to get back and pack my gear– "

"Hold on just a second, Kunsel," Reno pleaded. "This doesn't make sense. Lazard's gone missing, and if Sephiroth's MIA, on whose orders is SOLDIER being activated?"

"Heidegger is next in command," Kunsel replied carefully. "I shouldn't even be telling you this, really -they'd said the Turks don't need to know about this – "

"The Turks don't need to know? Oh, fucking hell!" Reno exclaimed, irate. He held up a hand to Kunsel and gave him an apologetic smile. "No, not your fault man – sorry – I should know better than to shoot the messenger. Thanks for keeping us in the loop, man."

"Don't mention it," Kunsel muttered before taking his leave. "Seriously – _don't_ mention it. Not to anyone, okay?"

"Shit," Reno swore. His eyebrows knitted together as he quickly processed this new information; analyzing it, looking for some sort of connection between Tseng's odd demeanor just moments before, and this. _Nibelheim…could that be where Tseng is headed with Hojo?_ Reno couldn't imagine why Hojo would want anything to do in Nibelheim anyway; the basement laboratory in the Shinra mansion was so well hidden that even the Turks weren't aware of its existence.

"Rude, I got a bad feeling about all of this," Reno said in a low tone, motioning for both Cissnei and Rude to get up and follow him outside. "Will fill you in…but we got to go outside. Off site meeting. "By uttering the phrase _off site meeting_ –Reno's code for when he didn't want to be overheard – Rude and Cissnei knew right away to not ask any further questions. Not until they were outside the building, anyway -every office at Headquarters was monitored by closed circuit camera. This was true even for the Turks' office, for President Shinra had eyes and ears everywhere. It would often happen, though, footage of the Turks' activities or conversations would mysteriously "disappear" if it appeared it might incriminate the President in some matter.

The ride in the elevator was silent, save for Reno's random remarks about the weather in Costa del Sol to fill the awkward silent spaces. Rude and Cissnei kept tight-lipped, both curious as to what could possibly be of such importance for Reno to suddenly haul them outside like this. He hustled them through the lobby, giving the hired guns guarding the door a smirk and a wave.

Reno fumbled around in the inside pocket of his blazer, looking for his pack of cigarettes. Lighting one up would be a decent enough ruse for the three Turks to suddenly have to duck outside. "Here,"Reno shoved his pack of cigarettes out toward Rude and Cissnei, inviting each of them to take one.

"I don't really smoke – " Cissnei began hesitantly, then quickly shut her mouth as she caught Reno's glare. Rude merely grunted and took the cigarillo, holding it in his lips with no intention of lighting it.

"Just pretend, then," Reno retorted, flicking his lighter to ignite his own cigarette. The smoking break was a great excuse, indeed – though the cigarette had the double purpose of helping to relax Reno's nerves as well.

"Kunsel's lying," Reno announced confidently, drawing a surprised look from Cissnei. "I think he was holding something back, anyway. Trying to tell us something without putting it into so many words. And another thing - Zack setting fires and burning down some two-bit mountain town? I'm not buying it."

"Why do you think he's lying, Reno?" Rude asked calmly, one eye surveying the area around them, making sure they hadn't been followed by one of the guards. There was no telling who was on the President's private payroll as a spy– the man had even spied upon his own son, Rufus. "I'm not saying I disagree , Kunsel was acting mighty odd, and Zack suddenly becoming a pyro doesn't add up at all, but I have to ask...is this just one of your hunches, or what?"

"You could say that," Reno replied, tilting his head to the side as he regarded Rude and Cissnei. "Now – what I say stays here, got it?"

"Of course," the two Turks murmured in unison.

"I have it on good authority that Kunsel – well, up until recently – was rather close to Sephiroth. Make that _really_ close, if you get my meaning," Reno stressed.

"So they were lovers?" Cissnei cut in."So what? We know that a lot of people in SOLDIER have indiscretions .That doesn't mean anything, necessarily – "

"Yeah, but Sephiroth is SOLDIERS's highest ranking general. Like, ever. Suddenly Sephiroth is MIA, and the Turks would've been left completely out of the loop if it hadn't been for Kunsel dropping by. Meanwhile Tseng is off to provide transport and we don't even know where _to_."

"And nobody seems to know where Lazard is either," Rude added." Suddenly Heidegger's in charge of military operations? Why weren't we informed?"

"I don't know, but I'm getting sick and tired of this bullshit, being left in the fuckin' dark all the time," Reno grumbled. "You know - I don't think even Tseng knows everything that's going on. Now, do you think he has a clue what's going down in Nibelheim? What if he's heading there?"

"We don't know for sure that's where Tseng is headed, do we?" Cissnei said cautiously. "We shouldn't jump to conclusions - "

"No, we shouldn't," Rude agreed before pulling out his cell phone. "But...I can always call the tower and check on the flight plan Tseng submitted to air traffic control."

Reno's face broke out in a broad grin. "Quick thinking, partner," he said admiringly. "You check on that - and I'm going to make a phone call myself," Reno added, pulling out his own cellular.

"And who are _you_ calling?" Cissnei inquired, mildly amused.

"Rufus Shinra," Reno announced, rather nonchalantly. "He's still in Junon - 'on assignment', which we all know is bullshit. I want to find out what he knows about this, if anything."

"Oh," Cissnei replied, looking even more confused. She turned to Rude as he finished his phone call, her eyes questioning. "What's this assignment that the Vice President is on? I thought he and his father had a falling out?"

"They did," Rude confirmed. "And it's not an assignment. More of a punishment. Rufus...for lack of a better word, was exiled by his father."

"I'd heard that, but it was just a rumor I heard in the streets," Cissnei replied, nodding her head. "Before I joined the Turks, that is."

"Hmm," Rude grunted. "They had...a falling out. Didn't quite see eye to eye on things."

"Hey...Reno," he continued, raising his eyes up to lock with his partner's. "What's the word from Rufus?"

"The word is," Reno said, dropping his voice as he looked around them, always on guard against eavesdropping Shinra employees. He waved Rude and Cissnei closer to form a huddle.

"Rufus's sources have kept him filled in," Reno whispered. "He's got contacts that are in SOLDIER," he explained further. "Anyway - the guys are shipping out soon to Nibelheim. Reports are coming back that the town was decimated. Burned to the ground...witnesses there are saying that Sephiroth started the fires. Of course, Shinra's denying those allegations. Rude, what'd you get from the tower?"

Rude frowned, shaking his head. "Talked to air traffic control. Tseng's flight plan indicates that he's heading to Wutai. Guess your hunch was wrong, Reno."

Reno gave an exasperated sigh. "Shit. None of this makes sense! Tseng leaves with Hojo, then Kunsel shows up with this news...something's gotta be connecting the two things."

"Maybe it's just a coincidence? It's certainly a possibility," Cissnei suggested helpfully.

"No, I don't think so...in our line of work? There's no such thing as coincidence, Cissnei," Reno declared. _She'll figure that out soon enough_ , Reno thought soberly. _She's a rookie, but she'll get it eventually._

"I can't figure out why Tseng's going to Wutai," Reno puzzled. "Anyway...I've gotta prep my bird. I'm flying the chopper out to Nibelheim, going solo. Rude, Cissnei - I need you two to stay here and keep an eye on things. Be my eyes and ears while I'm gone. Something's not adding up, and I want to find out why."

Rude grumbled unhappily at this, and gave Reno a stern look. "Reno...you're not authorized to just up and go to Nibelheim, what the hell are you thinking?"

"That's where you're wrong, partner," Reno replied with an easy grin. "I've got all the authorization I need - the Vice President told me to go."

"Reno! Rufus is more or less under house arrest," Rude argued. "He doesn't have authority over the Turks anymore - only the President does."

"My loyalties lie with Rufus, not with his father," Reno shot back stubbornly. "Listen. I know, I'm going against protocol here, but I don't care. I want to find out what's going on - something's up, and I don't want the SOLDIER spin on things. I want to see for myself, and that's what Rufus wants too. An unbiased report of what's going down in Nibelheim."

"You're taking a risk, Reno," Rude cautioned him. "A big risk. If the President catches on - you could pay with your life."

Reno shrugged indifferently. "It's a risk I'm willing to take," he said nonchalantly. "Don't worry, yo. I'm like a cat...nine lives, right?"

Cissnei smiled, but looked worried as well. "Reno, please...don't do anything foolish?" she pleaded.

"Too late for that," Rude blurted grumpily, at which Reno laughed.

"Yeah, well. That's how I roll, Rude. That's how I roll." Reno stubbed out what was left of his cigarette, grinding the butt into the pavement, and gave Rude and Cissnei a mock salute as he left, headed right for the helipad. With any luck, Rufus was already making arrangements for Reno, and he would leave Midgar without incident.

* * *

The helipad atop Shinra Tower was home to a fleet of helicopters and small aircraft; larger planes and airships were kept at the airfield in Junon Harbor. One of the air traffic controllers, Kip, was returning to the office with coffee for his co-workers when the phone rang.

"Damn, all of a sudden it's busy here," Kip grumbled, setting down the tray of coffees. "I'll get it."

" _This is Rufus Shinra_ ," said the voice on the other end of the line. Kip's eyes widened with incredulity. " _To whom am I speaking_?"

"Mr. Vice President, sir!" Kip exclaimed. "This is Kip...head of air traffic control." Kip, along with everyone else, had of course heard the rumors that Rufus had betrayed his father some time ago with his secret funding of the eco-terrorist group AVALANCHE, but no concrete proof was ever found linking Rufus with the group. And, Rufus's 'assignment of indeterminate length' in Junon was rumored to be some sort of punishment; the President's way of teaching his son a lesson, to keep him in his place. Or, to keep him out of the _way_.

" _I will be brief_ ," Rufus went on. " _One of my Turks - Reno - will be arriving soon. I am authorizing his usage of one of our helicopters to run a personal errand for me_."

"Ah - " Kip stammered, unsure of how to respond. "Is the President okay with this?" he asked hesitantly. Kip cringed at the dead silence on the other end of the phone.

" _I do not require my father's permission to send one of my Turks to attend to a personal errand_ ," Rufus replied coldly. " _Is that clear? You will see that Reno has everything he needs."_

"Of course, Mr. Vice President," Kip replied stupidly. "Of course."

" _Very well_ ," Rufus said, " _I thank you for your assistance, Kip. This is to be kept between you and me, understand? Discretion will be rewarded handsomely. Lack of discretion...well_." Rufus gave a humorless laugh that made Kip's hair stand on end.

"I understand completely, sir," Kip replied, nervously biting his lip. "You may rely on me."

" _Excellent. I knew you would see things my way_."

* * *

"I trust you did not divulge our location to your subordinates, Tseng?" Hojo's voice jarred the silence on board the Shinra helicopter that Tseng was now skillfully piloting over the ocean toward the Western Continent, with Nibelheim as their final destination. The flight plan to Wutai that Tseng had submitted had been a ruse; part of an elaborate cover-up that was only just beginning.

"I did not," Tseng replied curtly, in clipped tones. He had no love for Professor Hojo; providing this clandestine transport for him was simply part of the orders he'd been given. While he didn't care for the scientist, nor this assignment, Tseng knew well enough what punishment disobeying a presidential order could bring. Exile, prison - or even worse, death by firing squad.

"Excellent," Hojo replied, sneering. "The President assured me that you could be relied upon for your discretion, and I thank you for that."

"Don't thank me," Tseng replied coldly. "I'm just doing my job. I'm a Turk." They came in over the mountains, black smoke making it hard to see in some areas, but Tseng could see well enough to land the helicopter on the large helipad just behind the Shinra Mansion.

"It seems the fires have been contained," Tseng observed. "And the mansion is unscathed."

"Indeed," Hojo murmured, grabbing his gear bag as he made his way out of the helicopter. "Thank you, Tseng. You may leave now. Tell the president I will be in touch...and keep him apprised of my progress."

"I will," Tseng replied, his expression emotionless. He didn't know what sorts of experiments Hojo was working on, and he didn't really want to know, for that matter. Tseng frowned as he lifted off once again; the President had given him Shinra's version of events - that Zack Fair, a well-respected SOLDIER First Class, suddenly went insane and set all of Nibelheim ablaze. It didn't make any sense to Tseng, nor any of the Turks.

As Tseng flew back over the mountain range, the thick smoke that drifted over the peaks obscured four figures that were hurriedly making their way up the mountain path; one a tall male with long silver hair; another was a petite brunette female wearing a cowboy hat; and two men, one raven-haired and one-blond, all headed toward the same destination; the Mount Nibel reactor.

Had the air been clear - had there been no massive fires in Nibelheim - Tseng would have spotted the four of them right away. Seeing nothing, Tseng banked hard left and swung the helicopter back around, setting a course back to Midgar.

* * *

The middle-aged man's attempt to kill him had been laughable, Sephiroth thought with a laugh. "Insignificant humans!" he exclaimed with a sniff of disdain, plunging masamune into the man's body once more. He was already dead, that much was clear by the amount of blood that had been spilled upon the floor inside the Mako reactor. The eyes, open and staring, were lifeless; reflecting that singular moment of surprise when death became a reality for this would-be attacker.

"You see, Mother?" Sephiroth called as he strode up the metal staircase, toward the door marked "JENOVA" with red lettering. "These humans, how they try to stop us...try to keep mother and son apart. Not anymore. I will not stand for it any longer." Sephiroth's fist flew out, punching the electronic control panel for the door, smashing it into bits. The door easily opened then for Sephiroth, and he stepped into the cavernous back room.

In front of him was a mannequin made entirely of metal, the chrome surface polished to a high gleam. Eyes sculpted of black onyx were set into the silver skull, unmoving.

Sephiroth leaned in, sniffing this apparition. "You are not Jenova," he said with disdain. "This is but a man-made construct." Enraged, he pulled the mannequin from its seating, sparks flying from where metal scraped against rock.

He threw the mannequin, this inferior imposter, down to the floor. Before him now was a large tank, filled to the top with some sort of fluid; suspended within was Jenova. The Calamity from the Skies, they had called her. Red eyes with no pupil were open, unseeing. The creature still lived and breathed, however; revived so many years ago after Gast's discovery of the specimen encased within layers of rock. Jenova - the Harbinger, as the Cetra had called it - was successfully revived and kept alive in the Mako tube, slowly feeding off the Planet's energy that was constantly being siphoned into the glass prison of the tube.

Jenova would wait all these years, biding time, commanding the very cells within its body to send out a distress signal; a signal that anyone who had Jenova cells within their body would respond to. First, the physical changes would come; manifestation of a wing or some other appendage. Then would come the psychological changes. The whispered urgings that Sephiroth felt inside his head, like the dark fluttering of wings beating upon him. Whispers of his birthright, and a Reunion.

Sephiroth now knew what Jenova had been trying to tell him. The birthright was his - he was the chosen one, and the Planet was Mother's gift to him. They would take it over, and use it to conquer the galaxy.

It was the perfect plan, Sephiroth thought, with admiration toward this creature he believed to be his birth mother. First, he would have to free her from the tube where she was imprisoned.

"Mother. My... _mother_." Sephiroth fell to one knee and wept briefly; how dare they imprison her in this way! Sephiroth felt the anger welling within him, unlike anything he'd ever felt before in his life. It was a rage colored by madness, though in Sephiroth's shattered mind, his anger was perfectly reasonable, his want for revenge justified by what he perceived as the imprisonment and torture of his own mother.

"I will free you from this, Mother. Just - give me a moment," Sephiroth murmured. He frowned as he heard a female screaming toward the bottom of the stairs. "More humans, Mother. I will be right back for you after I dispatch of them."

Sephiroth seemed to glide down the staircase, unblinking, as Tifa was crouched over her father's bloodied corpse, shaking with rage.

"Oh, papa...papa..." Tifa wept, hugging her dead father. Her fingers brushed over his still-open eyelids, closing them.

She looked up as she heard Sephiroth's boots on the metal stairs, tears staining her cheeks as she gritted her teeth and snarled at the infamous general.

"You," Tifa snarled. "You did this! Damn you to hell!" The teen impetuously rushed up the stairs, only to be stopped by the razor-edge of masamune cleaving her between her breasts.

"Damn you...damn Shinra, damn you all..." Tifa gasped as the blood welled out of the deep wound. She fell backwards, sliding down the steps, clutching at her chest as she collapsed into a heap at the foot of the staircase.

"Foolish human," Sephiroth muttered indifferently, turning on his heel to ascend the stairs once more. He smiled once he reached Jenova again, his hands reaching up to lovingly cup the creature's face, stroking the cheeks.

"Nothing can stop us now, Mother," Sephiroth intoned. "I have killed the girl. And I will kill anyone else who stands in our way.

* * *

The young woman had felt nothing for so long; a bright green light, voices calling to her, and then...

And then nothing. Blackness, then the sickening sensation that she was floating, bobbing up and down as if drowning in the middle of the ocean. Helpless, with nobody for miles around to hear her cries.

_Am I dead? This...this is not what I thought the Lifestream would be like. I must be stuck between the two worlds - I'm trapped!_

Not that she could cry out, or utter a sound. Her lips and her eyes - both felt as though they were shut with cement. She felt a sudden jolt, convulsing as electric currents of pain ran through her battered body.

Quinn screamed, or tried to, but the Seal spell Hojo had cast upon her prevented her mouth from even opening. She tried to will her arms and legs to move, but it was no use; Quinn had been restrained, strapped to the table. _Gods...what sort of fresh hell is this!_ Quinn prayed to Shiva to deliver her from this purgatory, to at least guide her back to the Lifestream if she was actually dead.

This didn't feel like death. Death was supposed to be...the complete absence of feeling any sensation. Quinn was all too aware of the pain that burned through every single nerve ending in her body. She twitched and thrashed upon the table, but could not free herself from the restraints that bound her there.

"There, there...Cadet Malloy, do not be afraid!" Hojo's shrill, nasally voice was hardly comforting to Quinn as she lay on the cold metal examination table. Finally she got her eyes to open, the lids felt as heavy as marble as she blinked, pupils contracting and dilating as they adjusted to the overhead fluorescent lights.

"You have been successfully revived, Cadet," Hojo informed Quinn coldly. "Your lineage is of great interest to me. As your injuries heal, you will be kept in stasis. Then, we will prepare for the next stage of your recovery."

"R-recovery?" Quinn spoke slowly as the effects of the Seal spell began to wear off. "What - what recovery? What - happened? Where - where are the others?"

"Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves here!" Hojo chided her with artificial brightness. "You were injured in a fall," the scientist continued, preparing a syringe containing a powerful sedative. "Your comrades - unfortunately, all have perished. You, Quinn, are the sole survivor."

Quinn screamed again and cried, her head lolling weakly to the side as Hojo injected her with the sedative. "No! No, it can't be - Zack...Cloud...Wein...garrrrrten..." Her words slurred into a light snore as the drug took effect instantly, causing Quinn to fall into a fitful sleep.

"Sleep well, Daughter of Shiva," Hojo purred, grinning as he set down his instruments. He would give this specimen time to heal, but there was no time to waste in getting the next stage of Project S going; Hojo wanted to get this next stage completed within the next two weeks at the earliest.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Whew! There's an awful lot going on in this chapter, I know. Rufus appears! Well, by phone, but there he is. I'm bending things a bit – I believe it was during the Before Crisis (BC) era that Rufus is basically "sent away" by his father. I've never actually played BC, so I'm going by the wiki, cut scenes, stuff like that. Anyway, the way I'm writing that is, Tseng is torn between loyalty to the president, and to Rufus. Reno has no such hesitations; he trusts Rufus, and is loyal to the son rather than the father.
> 
> In addition, Hojo is continuing his reign of awfulness, now with poor Quinn. Now that he knows about her possible lineage, it won't mean anything good for Quinn! Regarding the Summon/Human hybrid thing – I'm giving a nod to Greek and Roman mythology a bit. I can see Shiva as the "Ice Goddess" – which she basically is – and, like many gods and goddesses in mythology, Shiva at one time had an affair with a human man. That affair resulted in the birth of a demigod, who is somehow related to Quinn. More details on that to come in the next chapter – along with Cloud and Zack reaching the reactor. And Reno may run into some trouble himself! Nosy Turk, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. More Reno/Turks in the next chapter for sure.
> 
> Another long chapter, thanks for sticking it out with me guys! Going to dive RIGHT into starting chapter 27. I'm on a roll, and I am hoping to finish this really soon. Thanks to all for reading, commenting, and faving my little story!


	27. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Zack confront Sephiroth in the reactor; meanwhile, Sephiroth grapples with the truth behind his origins.

_Die Tränen greiser Kinderschar_   
_ich zieh sie auf ein weißes Haar_   
_werf in die Luft die nasse Kette_   
_und wünsch mir, dass ich eine Mutter hätte_

_[The tears of a crowd of very old children_  
I string them on a white hair  
I throw the wet chain into the air  
and wish that I had a mother]

**"Mutter" - Rammstein**

* * *

"Almost there, Cloud...we're almost there," Zack's face was flushed as they trotted up the mountain, Cloud rushing ahead as he quickly and expertly wove through the network of caves. Soon he left Zack in the dust, focused upon getting to Sephiroth before anyone else did.

"Hey, wait up, Cloud!" Zack shouted after the cadet, who seemed not to hear him at all, so intent was he on reaching Sephiroth, and putting an end to this.

 _I'm going to kill him_ , Cloud chanted inwardly, an indescribable rage welling from within. _I'm going to fucking kill Sephiroth._ He kept imagining his poor mother, what her last moments must have been like, being incinerated alive.

Cloud slowed down only briefly to let Zack rejoin him. "Come on, Zack," Cloud urged. "We need to get there before he does anything else."

"Yeah, like destroy the entire fucking Planet," Zack muttered. "Wouldn't put it past him – Sephiroth seems to have lost his mind, just like Genesis did. Let's go, Cloud. I've got your back." He paused to place a gloved hand on Cloud's shoulder in a gesture of comfort and support.

"Always got your back, Cloud," Zack repeated. "Always." They reached the stairwell that would take them into the reactor; Zack grimaced, mentally bracing himself for what they might find inside. _Sephiroth's going to be tough, if not impossible to defeat_ , Zack told himself soberly. _We might end up getting ourselves killed here._ There was one more thing he had to ask Cloud before they went in, and he hesitated for just a moment before speaking again.

"Cloud – one more thing, before we go in," Zack said quietly, reaching for his shoulder. "If things go bad – well, I want you to take care of it. And I'll do the same for you."

Cloud stared at Zack and slowly nodded. "You mean…finish you off?" he asked softly, feeling a pain unlike any other in his heart.

"Yeah," Zack replied. "I mean – if I get hurt and there's a chance I won't make it…and I don't die quickly, I want you….to take care of it."

Cloud shook his head. "I don't think I can do that, Zack," he argued. "If we go down…we go down together. If something happens to you, I won't be able to go on."

"That's where you're wrong, Cloud," Zack shot back. "You _will_ be able to go on, because you _have_ to go on. Remember what I told you, Cloud…about honor."

"Do we have to talk about this now?" Cloud snapped. This was hardly a pep talk; if anything, the cadet felt more foreboding in this moment than he had the entire time they'd been traveling up the mountain.

"Just watch my back, and I'll watch yours," Zack replied, mentally kicking himself for bringing the subject up now. He'd always been the optimistic sort, but this was the first time outside of the VR training room that he was going up against Sephiroth. And Sephiroth had defeated him, every single time, during their VR training sessions. Zack did not have a good feeling about the battle that lay before him; this was no drill. This was real, and it would be a battle to the death.

 _But whose?_ Zack wondered, praying that luck would be on his side, and that he and Cloud would emerge from the battle unscathed. It was the question that had been plaguing him since Sephiroth's abrupt shift into madness. He could only hope and pray to Minerva and to any other deities that might be listening that they would prevail, and defeat Sephiroth.

The alternative…in which Sephiroth killed them both, and continued on his rampage – it was something Zack didn't want to think about. And so he pushed that worrying thought to the back of his mind, telling himself that failure was not an option.

Just as Angeal would have done.

* * *

Reno landed the chopper just outside of Nibelheim, not wanting to fly over the mountain range. His mouth fell open at the sight of smoke in the air, and as he strode into town, Reno could scarcely believe the devastation before him. Homes were burned to the ground; some completely, some still had framing intact, but much of the landscape was full of charred wood, personal belongings scorched and now waterlogged, and corpses everywhere. Many were burned beyond recognition; Reno made a mental note to let Rufus know that Shinra's clean-up crew, whenever they arrived, might need dental records in order to identify some of the bodies.

"Hey, how can I help?" Reno offered his assistance to some nearby teens. Zangan was there too, offering water to the boys; they had been helping to douse the flames for days now. "So...anyone want to tell me what went down here?"

One teen eyed Reno up and down suspiciously, frowning. "What went _down_? Sephiroth burned down our fucking town, that's what went down. Who the hell are you, anyway? You from Shinra? What do you want?" The questions came out of the boy's mouth machine-gun fast; he was beyond fatigued, and feeling utterly ragged.

"Name's Reno. I'm from Shinra's Department of Administrative Research," Reno said quickly, flashing his ID badge to the group. "The Vice President sent me in to assess the situation."

"Well, assess _this_ , motherfucker," one of the teens snapped, extending their middle finger at Reno. Reno bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smirking; he was smart enough to know that would be likely to get him decked. It was exactly the type of snappy comeback he would make, though he understood completely why they were frustrated. Just a glance around him at what had once been a quaint little town, now reduced to smoldering rubble was a sober realization as to the horror these survivors had been through.

"We don't want any Shinra lapdogs here," another teen retorted. "And ain't Sephiroth Shinra's poster child? Well guess what, Mr. Suit - he's the one who did all this! The Almighty fucking Sephiroth burned down my house. "

"Johnny – that's enough," Zangan admonished the boy. He was worn out and weary, just as the teens were, and not in the mood to answer any questions. "Angus….Claude…here, take some water," Zangan instructed the other two teens.

"Wait a minute," Reno interrupted. "The intel I got indicated that Zack and Cloud started the fires. Not Sephiroth." The Turk frowned; something wasn't adding up here, and he planned to find out what it was.

"Now that's a bunch of bull," Johnny snapped. "Listen – we saw Sephiroth starting the damned fires ourselves! And nobody else, it was all him!" he added insistently. "The Great Sephiroth. Shinra's Next Big Thing. Yeah. _Him_." He spat on the ground, as if to punctuate the remark.

"Yeah, that's right," another piped up, joining in. "Burned down all our homes. And Strife's mother – " He swallowed hard, blinking, his eyes bloodshot from soot and smoke. "It shouldn't have happened,"

"Strife's mother?" Reno echoed, his expression sobering. "You mean she - " He swallowed hard. "She was killed?"

"Burned to death in the fires, is what happened," Zangan said wearily. He raised his hands in pleading. "Look, Mr. - Reno. We've had a long day. If you don't mind – I'll be taking these boys somewhere safe, where they can rest. There's nothing left here for them," he added, looking around at the wasteland of cinders. "I'll be taking them away from here, far away."

"One more thing – I swear, just one more question, and I'll get out of your hair," Reno pleaded. "Please."

Zangan nodded reluctantly, and Reno bowed his head respectfully. "Thanks, man. So…did you see anyone else from SOLDIER, besides Sephiroth? We had three troopers out here too, along with another First Class SOLDIER. See anyone like that around town?"

"Yeah, but I only seen two of them in uniform," the youngest of the three boys offered. "I heard from Lana – at the Inn – that two of the Shinra people died, maybe close to a week ago, but two survived. Cloud - the boy whose ma died - he was one of 'em. Didn't even know it was him until today. Saw him and that other SOLDIER - the one with crazy black hair - "

"Zack. That's got to be Zack," "Reno interrupted, half-speaking to himself. "So you saw them? What time was this? Where'd they go?" Reno pressed, eyes narrowing. He was onto something, he felt it, as sure as anything, but he wasn't sure yet if Rufus would want him to take any action; or, to simply report back what he had found out.

"Don't remember what time. Few hours ago? They went that way, up the mountain," the teen pointed toward the mountain path that zigzagged up toward Mount Nibel.

"Listen, these boys need to rest," Zangan cut in, speaking firmly and dismissively. "They've been through a lot today, obviously."

"Yeah…I can see that they have been," Reno said softly. "Listen – some more troops are on their way, a relief effort. SOLDIER is coming here to help, all right?" Reno informed them, hoping that this news was somewhat reassuring. "Thank you for the info, guys…and thank you for your time. I'll make sure Vice President Rufus hears about what you did today. You guys are heroes." Reno concluded.

"Heroes, huh?" one of the young men said wearily. "Some heroes we are…not many survived aside from us. People are still dying, man," he added with a choking sob. "Even the ones who survived, some of them got burned so bad, they ain't surviving." The death toll had yet to be finalized, but the loss of life and property in Nibelheim would be catastrophic.

"It's not your fault. What you did today _matters_ ," Reno said firmly. "And I'm going to make sure Rufus Shinra hears about it." He gave the soot-covered survivors a salute running back out toward the chopper. He would call Rufus from there, and stand by for his instructions.

Reno had no idea that the troopers Heidegger had just dispatched from Headquarters would be following orders that were contrary to what he and Rufus had been told - that SOLDIER was being sent to Nibelheim to assist with clean-up.

 _Guess I'll just head back to Junon, talk to Rufus_ , Reno told himself as he piloted the chopper out of the mountains, away from Nibelheim. _Wonder what happened with Tseng...maybe he really did take Hojo to Wutai?_ Rude had followed up on that theory, however, and had informed Reno via a text message that no Shinra aircraft had landed recently in Wutai.

 _If Tseng is MIA after faking a flight plan_ \- Reno shook his head, unable to finish the thought. He knew Tseng could and would take care of himself, yet the second in command could not help but feel apprehensive. He felt an odd mixture of relief and dread; relief at leaving the horrible scene behind him, and dread at dealing with the potential fallout from President Shinra, if he caught wind of this unauthorized mission to Nibelheim.

Reno smirked as he flew over Cosmo Canyon, chewing on that thought for a moment. _My mission was authorized, all right...just wasn't authorized by the Prez. Something's going on, though. We need Rufus back in Midgar._

* * *

"Mister Lockhart!" Cloud exclaimed upon seeing the man lying in the main corridor of the reactor – ran to him, kneeling over the corpse, his mind reeling."Zack – he's dead! Sephiroth did this – "

"Hold up, Cloud!" Zack quickly shushed him, holding his hand up. "Someone's in trouble!" He heard a scream and a thud from the next room over, followed by the unmistakable sound of a pressure-door opening and shutting quickly.

"I'm going in, Cloud," Zack called to Cloud as he drew up his sword, running toward the source of the sound. "Sounds like someone is hurt - cover me!"

"Wait! Zack - " Cloud scrambled to his feet, clutching his standard issue Shinra rifle. Looking at the barrel of the shotgun, he felt foolish; as if he were brandishing a child's toy against the mighty Sephiroth. The man could bend the rifle in half as if it were a twig; Cloud had no doubt about that. He hurried on, rushing after Zack who was several yards ahead of him. The cadet felt as though his heart stopped at the sight before him; Tifa, her body lying in a twisted, awkward position at the bottom of the stairwell, beaten and bloodied, a mortal-looking knife wound cleaving open her chest, just below her heart.

"Tifa! Cloud, she's hurt - look after her!" Zack shouted, tossing a pouch at the cadet. "FullCure in there, use it! I'll take care of Sephiroth," he vowed, charging up the stairs, his heavy boots causing the staircase to shudder.

 _That's no knife. That's a sword cut. And I know whose sword it was that made this cut_ , Cloud thought soberly, kneeling over Tifa. His hands shook as he pulled open the drawstrings on the cloth materia pouch; Tifa was still unconscious, and the blood was still flowing out of the deep wound in her chest. Cloud's hands continued to tremble as he inserted the materia into his bracer, and held his breath as the soft green glow began to emanate from the orb as he summoned the Full Cure spell.

 _Please work, please work, please work..._ he prayed. _Oh gods, please!_ Slowly, the bleeding came to a stop as the wound staunched itself thanks to the curing magic that had been cast. The cut was gaping; Cloud knew that Tifa would likely require stitches. He had no idea how he'd get her back to town, or if he'd even make it out of here alive.

Tifa's head began to move slowly; she wasn't fully conscious, nor would she be for some time. She had gone into shock from the blood loss, and was barely aware of her surroundings.

"Am I...dreaming?" Tifa murmured sleepily, her head slumping to the side. Cloud carefully lifted her injured body, moving her off to the side, hoping he didn't make things worse in the process.

"You'll be okay, Tifa," Cloud whispered, reassuring her. "You'll be okay. The bleeding has stopped. I'll be right back, okay? I have to go help Zack - " Cloud's head snapped around as he heard Zack scream.

* * *

"At last, Mother, I've returned," Sephiroth said tenderly as he approached the massive glass tank that contained the Jenova specimen. "I promised you I that I would come back, and that I would free you." The specimen remained unmoving, unblinking, though Sephiroth swore he could see the creature's lips quirk up in a smile.

He smiled lovingly at the creature, his hand reaching up to turn off the pressure valve on top of the tank. The fluid - likely some solution of saline and pure Mako - slowly drained out of the tank, making a gurgling noise as it descended through the pipes below the tank, carrying it out the building.

Sephiroth pushed open the catch-release mechanisms on the tank that held it in place and together, lifting the tube up and off of the specimen within, casting it to the side. The glass shattered as it hit the floor, and the Jenova specimen slumped forward, no longer buoyed up by the liquid that held it aloft. Sephiroth let the creature fall into his waiting arms, ready to take the specimen along with him. He hoped that he could somehow revive or reanimate the specimen.

**_You've come at last, Sephiroth._ **

"Yes, mother...of course. I promised you that I would return." As Jenova slumped against him, Sephiroth felt a momentary flash of memory, one that left him full of confusion. He could hear Genesis's voice clearly now; the sound was a harsh contrast against the background of angry buzzing that Sephiroth was used to by now ever since the Jenova cells within his body began taking over his mind, warping it.

Sephiroth's eyes went blank for a moment as the memory bubbled to the surface - pulled from some part of his mind that was not yet damaged. He felt the sensation of being in a vacuum as he heard that lilting, mocking voice in his head, reciting the words he'd heard so many times.

_Three friends, separated by the Fates; reunited by the Goddess..._

"Shut _up_ , Genesis!" Sephiroth snapped, the Jenova cells exerting their influence once again, silencing his human emotions. The voice abruptly stopped, only to be replaced by another. Sephiroth turned his head toward the intrusive noise and saw not his auburn-haired comrade from SOLDIER, but another First Class he'd hoped had perished in the fire at Nibelheim Inn.

 _Zack. The Puppy._ Sephiroth's lips quirked up in a cruel smirk; still holding the Jenova specimen in one arm, he reached a hand down to the handle of masamune, ready to unsheathe his weapon in an instant.

"I am quite busy right now, Zackary," Sephiroth said in the admonishing, condescending tone of a schoolteacher. "I'd hoped you had perished in the fires, along with your shadow - what was his name again? Your little cadet? I hope he's _dead_..."

Zack snarled at the jab, drawing a laugh from Sephiroth. "Oh? Did I touch a _nerve_ , Zack?" Sephiroth said lightly, mockingly.

"Sephiroth, that's enough!" Zack shouted as he reached the top of the stairs. "Put that thing down! Come on...come peacefully, and I'll allow you to live." His chin jutted out stubbornly as he trained the point of his sword toward Sephiroth, crouched in a defensive position.

The silver-haired general laughed uproariously at Zack's remarks. " _You_ will let me live? Oh, isn't that rich, Zack. However...I plan no such mercies for you!" He turned away abruptly from the specimen, left hand unsheathing his long sword in a single motion.

"I do not take kindly to this interruption, Zack. Mother and I have work to do," Sephiroth barked, slashing the tip of masamune to and fro, slicing the fabric of Zack's uniform pants, cutting him just above the knees. Then, the blade laid open the flesh of Zack's upper arms before jabbing into his chest. "For that...you will pay the ultimate price."

Zack grunted in pain, tightening his grip upon the sword, but stubbornly refused to break eye contact with Sephiroth.

 ** _Remember what I told you, Zack_.** Zack heard Angeal's voice, clear as a bell, and he lifted his head upward, half-expecting to see some sort of apparition descending from the heavens.

**_Remember your honor as SOLDIER. Do what is right, Zack. I trust you._ **

" _I will, Angeal_ ," Zack whispered fervently. " _I won't let you down_."

"You're the one who's going to pay, you sick son of a bitch!" Zack yelled as he charged Sephiroth. "That thing isn't your mother!"

Sephiroth roared with fury.

* * *

Cloud stood up in a flash, seeing Zack teetering down the stairs, with Sephiroth following right behind him, kicking out at him with his boot. Zack slid down the stairs on his chest, Sephiroth's foot bearing down on his shoulder, forcing him down the stairs. Zack's chin bumped against each stair as he fell, jarring his skull and sending searing flashes of pain throughout his body. The Buster sword fell end over end as Zack dropped it; it clattered to the floor and actually reached the bottom of the stairs before Zack did.

Zack lay face down in a crumpled heap, resting upon his hands. Everything ached, everything hurt, and there was an incessant ringing in his ears. He knew Sephiroth had probably given him a concussion from the way his head felt - heavy and thick, like a lump of meat. Zack was honestly surprised he was still alive, never mind conscious, with how badly he'd been beaten.

Zack had been kicked, stabbed, beaten, and burned; beaten to within an inch of his life, and he was holding onto a fading thread of consciousness with a desperate fury. Unable to lift his head, Zack turned it slightly to the side, just as Cloud came into his field of vision.

"Cloud..." Zack gasped, weakly gesturing toward his weapon. "Take it...take my sword. Finish him. Finish...Sephiroth."

" _Zack_!" Cloud called in a harsh whisper - he wanted to tend his lover and see if he was okay, but he didn't want to attract Sephiroth's attention right away, and struggled to keep his voice low. Cloud knew that the only way he'd be able to get any sort of edge on Sephiroth was through a sneak attack.

Zack was alive, at least there was that much, and Cloud was grateful for that. The cadet couldn't fuss over Zack right now, as the specter of Sephiroth loomed up in the doorway above, his back turned toward Cloud. The cadet quickly discarded his rifle - it would clearly be useless in a battle against the indomitable Sephiroth. He eyed the massive buster sword, lying parallel to Zack's prone body. Cloud swallowed hard, hands wrapping tightly around the hilt of the buster sword. The muscles on his arms stood out, his forearms shaking as he took the massive weapon in both hands.

 _I can't do this one-handed...gods, how does Zack even lift this thing?_ Cloud thought briefly, then grunted, summoning everything he had within him to raise the sword. He crept up the stairs, carefully hoisting the sword alongside. The effort it took to keep the weapon from clanging against the steps was monumental; Cloud felt drops of sweat running off his face, down his neck, but he kept on. There was no stopping now; with Zack down, Cloud knew he was the last hope to stop Sephiroth.

* * *

Sephiroth reached up and gently but firmly grasped the Jenova specimen by its shoulders, wanting to remove it from the tube. He supposed he would take Mother back to the labs in the Shinra Mansion to start - there was a reason he'd spared that one structure in Nibelheim, in the secret lab were resources Sephiroth would need to revive Jenova.

~ _Cetra. An Ancient. I am an Ancient. Not human. Not...not like them. Those worthless humans...~_

It was all so clear to Sephiroth now, knowing he was the last of his kind. No wonder Hojo had been so protective of him during his childhood, sheltering him. He knew. Hojo _knew_ what Sephiroth was! He had known all along.

 _And I will kill him for keeping that truth from me all my life_ , Sephiroth silently vowed. His momentary reverie was interrupted by a sudden pain in his back, just above the shoulder blade. For just a second, Sephiroth thought his wing was trying to re-emerge, until he looked down and saw the point of a sword coming through the front of his chest. The sensation caused him to jerk his arms back, an involuntary reflex, and he tore Jenova's head clean from the body.

 _Mother...I've been stabbed,_ Sephiroth thought, amused by how little it seemed to hurt. Amusement quickly gave way to anger, and as the blade was pulled out of his back, Sephiroth whirled around to confront his attacker, Jenova's head in his hands, assuming it was Zack once again.

"You?" Sephiroth gaped, clearly surprised. He threw his head back, laughing cruelly. "I'm quite surprised you can even lift such a weapon, it's nearly your height!"

Cloud snarled at Sephiroth for the jibe. "Seems I can manage just fine!" he shouted defiantly.

"Indeed...though, not for long," Sephiroth murmured. "What do you mean to accomplish here, little cadet?" the general went on, in the most condescending and cruel tone he could muster.

"Revenge," Cloud said coldly, hoisting the blade. He was beginning to get used to the heft of it in his arms, though his arms still shook from the effort of lifting the great sword. "You killed my mother. You destroyed my town. I won't let you do this, Sephiroth. I won't let you take any more lives!"

Sephiroth glared at Cloud and took three great strides down the staircase, pushing Cloud backwards as he descended the stairs, masamune in his left hand, Jenova's head still tucked under his right arm. His teeth were bared, the expression on his face fearsome and wild. A loud clanging reverberated throughout the chamber as metal clashed against metal - Sephiroth's infamous weapon smashed against Cloud's own sword, and the force of the impact drove Cloud scrambling backwards as he landed on his back.

"Your life...and the lives of everyone other human on this Planet, they mean nothing to me," Sephiroth intoned, trance-like. "All that matters is taking my rightful place, as heir to this Planet. I am the last Cetra - "

"Bullshit!" Cloud snapped, jumping to his feet. "You're no Cetra! You're a monster!" Sephiroth recoiled slightly at the retort, but quickly composed himself.

"Oh? And you are suddenly an authority on such matters, _Cadet_?" Sephiroth said in a derisive, mocking tone. He snarled, jabbing at Cloud's shoulder with the point of masamune, causing the cadet to hiss in pain.

"I've barely scratched you, and yet you cry out in pain," Sephiroth murmured, slicing and slashing Cloud's upper torso and arms. " _Pathetic_."

The taunts stirred something buried in Cloud's mind, drawing it to the surface; all those times he'd been picked on for his size, or bullied for having no father growing up in Nibelheim. Then the harassment he'd endured at the Academy; the assault by Fredo, followed by the thug's brother attacking Cloud in Sector Eight.

 _Everyone dead...Flanard, Dill, Angeal, Quinn, Weingarten...all dead! And mama...my mama...dead. My home...how I hated growing up here, but that was my **home**._ _My home!_

"You took so much from me," Cloud hissed through clenched teeth, not even crying out as masamune pierced his chest. "I won't let you do that to anyone else." He vaguely felt his lung start collapsing around the blade buried in his chest as his eyes flashed blue fire at Sephiroth.

Cloud pulled the blade in even further, surprising even Sephiroth. He assumed the cadet was likely about to reach his limit break, but wasn't terribly worried about it; Sephiroth knew that Cloud was much weaker than Zack, physically, and Zack had been easy to defeat.

"You're only making it worse, Cadet," Sephiroth whispered, his fingers still wrapped around the handle of his weapon. He gave a short gasp as he felt his feet being lifted from the ground, and suddenly he was above Cloud, looking down upon him.

The cadet still had the blade stuck into the left side of his chest, and was lifting Sephiroth into the air.

"And to think I looked up to you!" Cloud shouted, wheezing. He steadied himself and flung the blade toward the wall, summoning every last bit of strength he had. "Damn you to hell!" Sephiroth's expression was utterly astounded as he was thrown over the safety railing, toward the giant gears that powered the reactor, down into the bottomless abyss below.

How...how did this happen? It was the last thought Sephiroth had as he sailed through the darkness

"Z-Zack..." Cloud gasped, clutching at his chest. He cried out in agony as he pulled the powerful weapons out of him, then army-crawled back to where his lover lay prone, still unconscious.

"Zack...I...I did it," Cloud wheezed, flinging an arm over Zack's shoulders. "Zack...he's gone." Then, the darkness came as unconsciousness took hold; Cloud's breath rattling, his hand clutching at the hole in his chest, trying vainly to stop up the opening, though the effort of course was futile.

Zack stirred slightly, half awake, a small smile on his face. "You did it, Cloud," he whispered. "You really did it. Gonna recommend you for SOLDIER...when we get back." Cloud slumped against Zack, his speech garbled and unintelligible as he quickly went into shock.

"I'll try to get us...help," Zack's words were labored as he rolled onto his side, trying to get his cell phone out to call for backup. He dialed the special code for Shinra retrieval, and left his name, rank, and serial number on the automated message before falling over exhausted again, his arm draped over Cloud. As he slipped off into unconsciousness, Zack took comfort in knowing at least he'd phoned in; someone, likely the Turks, would at least be able to track the GPS on Zack's phone, and locate them that way.

"They're coming, Cloud," Zack whispered in the semi-conscious blonde's ear. "They're coming."

* * *

"Excellent," Hojo murmured, hanging a plastic bag full of glowing fluid alongside another half-empty bag of viscous looking black liquid. Both bags were connected to IV's that ran through Quinn's good arm -her right. The left one had been fractured in the fall, mended together and re-set by Hojo, and it was currently rendered immovable in a sling. "You're doing very well, cadet. Very well indeed."

Quinn groaned, still under very heavy sedation, trying in vain to piece together the words she needed to ask Hojo a question. "Where...am I? Where are...the others?"

"You're in a Shinra medical facility," Hojo said carefully. "You nearly died in a fall. As for the others that were with you...I'm afraid they didn't make it." The lie came easily, as would all the others Hojo was ready to tell the girl in order to get her to comply. Not that he sought her permission; Hojo felt he had carte blanche to do what he wanted.

 _I saved her life, she was already dead_ , Hojo told himself. _Everything else, as Hollander would say, is gravy_. He laughed sharply and suddenly, startling the girl; chuckling over the absurdity that he'd just mentally quoted that idiot Hollander.

 _So unschooled, so careless_ , Hojo thought. _But it is due to his failures that I found success with Project S, so perhaps I shall one day thank the man._

"Shh, don't upset yourself unduly, young lady. You'll only make your injuries worse, and I have worked very hard to put you back together again. I shall give you something else to help you sleep," Hojo murmured, already readying a syringe filled with even more powerful sedatives than he'd given previously.

"What…what's happening?" Quinn murmured fearfully. "Put me back together? What…what do you mean?" She realized, just before the sedative took hold, that she was virtually immobile; both legs were encased in thigh-to-toe plaster casts, and her right arm was held tight to her body in a sling. Only her left arm remained free, but it was weak; she couldn't even summon enough strength to lift it a half-inch off of the bed.

"Get some sleep," Hojo said gruffly, disposing of the syringe before snapping off his gloves. Satisfied that Quinn was fully asleep, Hojo strode over to his desk to finalize some notes, when his cell phone vibrated in the pocket of his lab coat.

"Yes?" Hojo barked into the phone, annoyed at the interruption. "What is it?"

"Two more subjects for you, sir," the voice intoned. "A five-one-five distress signal went out, and the drones responded. Would you like them, sir? Or ship them back to Midgar?"

"That depends," Hojo replied, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "Are they civilians? What gender, by the way?"

"No sir," came the quick reply over the phone. "Shinra military. Two males. One trooper, one SOLDIER, judging by the uniforms. We're verifying their identification right now."

"Hmm," Hojo hummed. "Well, I'll have a look at them once they're processed. What's their current condition? "

"Stable. The smaller of the two suffered a punctured lung; that's been intubated and he's breathing fine now, but will require surgery soon. Both have been beat up pretty badly, sir. They will need x-rays for sure – "

"You don't need to tell me how to do my job, yes?" Hojo snapped. "Once you're done with your paperwork, bring them down, please. I'd like to see if they might be of any use to me. Oh, and one more thing; has there been any sign of Sephiroth?"

"None, sir. It's like he vanished without a trace."

"Impossible," Hojo retorted. "You're simply not looking hard enough. Now I want that boy found!"

Hojo rang off without any further pleasantries; he was overtired, stressed, and irritated beyond belief that Sephiroth had, according to the latest reports from Shinra, gone AWOL.

They simply must find him. A lifetime of work, ruined, just because Sephiroth got some fool idea in his head! Hojo thought furiously. He smiled down upon Quinn's sleeping form, checking her vital signs again as she slumbered.

"All is not lost, however," Hojo murmured to himself. "You may be of some use to me yet, my precious specimen….descendant of Shiva." _First you will heal, and then, you will have a full prenatal work-up. And if all goes well…a new generation of SOLDIER will be born._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Whew. So, I guess we're at the big turning point – Cloud offing Seph. And yes, Hojo is a sick bastard who never learns to stop playing God!
> 
> I slipped in a few names for my three Nibelheim teens – NPC's really, but they popped up in the previous chapter as well, so I thought I'd give them names instead of assigning random pronouns to them. J And yes….the Johnny is the Johnny from the game. Hopefully that bit made sense – more will be explained/revealed in chapters to come. And don't worry – Reno and the Turks will be returning in the next chapter as well. There is yet another subplot going on – bit of political intrigue – and Rufus is at the crux of it. That's the only hint I'll give on that bit, but things will get very interesting indeed as they unravel!
> 
> Almost there, y'all! As always, thanks to my regular readers and followers who have been with me from the beginning; and those who picked up reading this mid-way, kudos to you for reading allll those chapters!
> 
> Reviews are love, and very much appreciated. Thank you!


	28. Glass Prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Turks meet with Rufus, and are dispatched to Nibelheim.

_Crawling to my glass prison_   
_A place where no one knows_   
_My secret lonely world begins_

**"Glass Prison" - Dream Theater**

* * *

It was an eight-hour overnight flight from Nibelheim back to Midgar; Reno had stopped briefly to refuel in Junon, and took a few moments to see if Rufus Shinra was in his office. He wanted to immediately tell Rufus all he'd seen in Nibelheim, and also to let him know the truth about Sephiroth.

The Vice-President's secretary Myra was there, and seemed puzzled when Reno asked to see Rufus.

"He just left, sir," Myra replied. "Very quickly, too. I'm so sorry, was he expecting you?"

"Well, kind of. I told him I'd stop by to fill him in on something," Reno frowned; he didn't have a good feeling about this. "Where's he off to?"

"He said he was headed back to Midgar," Myra replied. Reno nodded and thanked Myra for her time before taking his leave.

 _This shit is getting weirder and weirder_ , Reno thought to himself as he got back into the chopper, pulling on his headset. _Far as I knew, Rufus was sitting tight in Junon._ Reno was privy to some of the details of Rufus Shinra's confinement; basically, President Shinra stationed him there under some false pretense of "having Rufus oversee the airfield" - a thing that didn't really need overseeing anyway, Shinra's aviation division took care of that. The understanding was that Rufus was being punished by his father for behaving just as any rebellious teenager with a powerful father might do; protesting against the very thing that had made the President a billionaire.

Rufus had been secretly funding the eco-terrorist group AVALANCHE, though not out of any sense of altruism or concern for the Planet; this was a power play meant to oust his father, Rupert Shinra from his presidency. It was a scandal that was quickly silenced and swept under the rug, never making headline news - nor any news outlets, because Rupert Shinra was part owner of the newspapers and cable news channels in Greater Metropolitan Midgar. Still, Rufus needed to be punished, but quietly; as far as the President was concerned, Rufus's actions had been nothing more than a brash and foolish act of teenage rebellion. Little did Rupert realize that underneath the young, inexperienced exterior was someone just as ruthless and cutthroat as he was in his quest for power - if not more.

Under Shinra guard 24/7, Rufus Shinra was more or less under house arrest in his quarters in Junon.

Reno mulled all of this over as he piloted the chopper back toward Shinra Headquarters in Midgar. Rufus's strange disappearing act, right on the heels of sending Reno on a 'secret' fact-finding mission to Nibelheim; nothing made any sense to Reno. And it irritated the hell out of him when he couldn't sort something out.

 _Rude always told me I was too damned nosy for my own good,_ Reno thought with a smirk. _Maybe he's right._

* * *

"Cloud..." Zack felt like he had marbles in his mouth as he attempted to speak. His throat was dry and parched, and it pained him to swallow. Zack blinked slowly; the lids felt as though they'd been stuck shut for quite some time.

Opening his eyes, Zack looked all around, wondering where he was. The smells in this place were unpleasant; a dank mustiness that mingled with the harsh scent of antiseptic cleaners and bleach. Turning his head to the side, Zack spied Cloud, lying unconscious in a hospital bed, a respirator attached to his face. The left side of his chest had been bandaged where he'd been pierced with the sword, and all sorts of tubing was attached to that side of his body, helping air to stay in the collapsed lung. Cloud's bed was just parallel to the one Zack found himself in. Zack grunted as he reached his arm across to the other bed, just wanting to touch Cloud, to let him know that he was there - wherever they were. The effort was to no avail, and Zack gave an exasperated sounding sigh. The beds were several feet apart, and Zack was simply too weak to try and stretch or reach out any other.

"Tch!" The noise of disapproval came from behind Zack, and he craned his neck trying to see who it was.

"Who's there?" Zack cried hoarsely. "Where am I?"

"Shh! You'll wake him, keep it down! And lie still. I don't want you re-injuring yourself, especially after all the work I've done to restore your health," Hojo ordered. Zack groaned, instantly recognizing the unpleasant nasally tones of the Professor. He also realized immediately that the situation he and Cloud were in now was quite precarious. Zack was all too familiar with Hojo's less-than-humane methods, and the man had already put Cloud through hell months before, dosing him with Mako.

"Professor Hojo..." Zack was fuming and wanted to lash out at Hojo for his callous indifference to Cloud so many months before. _Cloud almost died then, and he didn't care!_ "...please, you need to listen to me. Cloud - he's allergic to Mako - "

Hojo laughed unexpectedly, and Zack's ire grew even greater. "That's just bollocks!" the scientist scoffed. "There's no such thing as a Mako allergy. People simply have different levels of tolerance."

"That's not what Cloud's doctor...said...back in Midgar," Zack argued. It was becoming a struggle to speak; he was still terribly weakened from the battle with Sephiroth.

"Nonsense," Hojo retorted. "Anyone can tolerate Mako. Now, do yourself a favor, and get some rest. You've been through a terrible ordeal, and are still very weak. The cadet over there has just had surgery for a collapsed lung, and must rest." Hojo reached into the pocket of his lab coat, two syringes full of powerful sedatives at the ready. It seemed that the blond was still sleeping off his prior dose, but Zack would need another. _Much easier to keep them sedated; they're less argumentative that way._

"Is he going to be okay? You still didn't tell me where we are. This isn't a hospital," Zack said accusingly, glaring at Hojo. He inhaled sharply, taking in the scents around him, trying to narrow down just where they were being kept. It smelled musty and old, much like an old museum, Zack thought.

"One question at a time, please. First, the cadet will be fine. His injuries were relatively minor. And...You're right," Hojo replied quietly, reaching for one of the syringes. "You are in a Shinra medical facility, and being treated for your injuries. The drones found you both passed out and bleeding inside the reactor. That's all you need to know right now."

"Wait! Don't put me to sleep again, just _don't_ \- " Zack's hand wrapped around Hojo's forearm; however, his grip was very weak, and Hojo easily shrugged him off.

"Get a hold of yourself, soldier!" Hojo snapped. The hypodermic plunged easily into Zack's upper arm, and the sedative took effect quickly, Zack feeling complete and utter horror as he was plunged into the darkness once again.

_We are in hell. Cloud and I are in hell...and there's no way out. Angeal! Angeal...gods, I wish you were here...I don't know what to do...help us..._

* * *

The meeting reminder text popped up on Reno's cell phone just as he was landing the helicopter on top of the Shinra building's heliport.

"Shit!" Reno swore as he quickly extricated himself from the helicopter after shutting it down. "Must be some last minute shit, I don't remember Tseng calling for any damned meeting," he muttered to himself. He nearly flew down the stairwell from the rooftop, down to the Turks' office, fairly breathless by the time he reached Tseng's office door - which was shut tight.

 _Meeting's started already, damn it - I'm late!_ Reno fretted. He'd been warned many times before by Tseng for his habitual tardiness. .This was hardly Reno's fault - he'd been en route back from Nibelheim, but seeing as this was not a mission Tseng had known about, Reno knew that the Director would be wondering why he wasn't in the office like he was supposed to be.

There was no sign of either Rude or Cissnei in the outer office; Reno wondered how they'd explained his absence to Tseng. _I shouldn't have asked them to cover for me like that, and Ciss is just a junior Turk, she's still under probation._ Reno worried now that his fellow Turks would be punished now for covering up for him. _I had my orders from Rufus...but Tseng don't know about that, either._

Reno held in his breath before opening the door to Tseng's large office, a litany of excuses at the tip of his tongue. _Sorry I was late, the cat got out and I had to chase it. My alarm didn't go off. I couldn't find my shoes. Or my car keys. I spilled coffee on my uniform and had to go change. Then the toilet broke! Raw sewage everywhere!_

 _No, I used that last one last year_ , Reno recalled ruefully. _And then, fuck my luck, it actually happened couple months later._ Lies always had a way of coming back to bite Reno in the ass. This time, he would tell the truth. _Sorry I'm late, Tseng. I fucked up again. Got no good reason either..._ Reno began mentally rehearsing all that he would say once he was inside the door.

He opened the door and the words came rushing out like a tsunami. "Boss, sorry I'm late, I - " Reno blinked as he looked up, only to see a bemused looking Rufus Shinra sitting there opposite Tseng.

"Well, well, well," Rufus remarked. "Seems you've returned from the errand I sent you on. And tell me, Reno, what did you learn?"

"Wait a minute," Reno stammered. "Tseng - you knew about this? That I went to Nibelheim?"

Tseng nodded. "Of course. Rufus tells me everything," he said calmly, giving the Vice President a half-smile.

Rufus smiled his usual predatory smile. "Indeed. Regretfully, Tseng was not entirely forthcoming with his own transport mission, hmm? We must apologize for keeping you out of the loop until now, Reno. Things are...rather tense between myself and my father, and I found it necessary to keep up a bit of a ruse."

"Does the president know you're here?" Reno asked abruptly. "And Tseng...I'm confused. I thought you were in Wutai like your flight plan said, but I just checked the logs at the tower. There was no record of any aircraft going to Wutai in several weeks."

"That's because I didn't _go_ to Wutai, Reno," Tseng said quietly, smirking. "So, you followed up on me, hmm? I guess you _are_ a good profiler if you figured out I was lying to you."

"Oh yeah...um, that," Reno said sheepishly. "Well, you were acting kind of weird, so I did some...checking."

"Normally I wouldn't be too happy about this sort of thing, but we don't have time to dwell on such trivialities," Tseng said crisply.

"Indeed," Rufus cut in. "Now, Reno...What we say in this room, must stay between the three of us, hmm? Though in time, I would like for Tseng to inform the other Turks as well."

"Wait," Reno held up his hand. He looked up on the ceiling and all around him. "Ain't we being bugged? I thought the entire floor was bugged."

Tseng laughed. "No," he replied coolly. "Well - the president thinks he's got the Turks' offices bugged. If he turns on that feed, he's going to get pre-recorded loops of footage. He doesn't check it very often, either. Apparently he believes me to be trustworthy."

"Which is exactly why I want you, Reno, to join myself and Tseng in this effort," Rufus said, ice-blue eyes shining with excitement. "What I propose is nothing short of treason, and this plan could take many years to come to full fruition. But, I can be a patient man for a just cause - and this one is rather just, in my opinion."

"What cause is that?" Reno asked, curious yet still a bit suspicious. This all sounded very shady...very _Rufus_ , if he was being blunt about it. There was a question on the tip of Reno's brain, and he wasn't sure if he should ask it of Rufus. Of course, Reno's mouth worked faster than his brain did, most of the time, and he blurted it out.

"Does this have anything to do with AVALANCHE again?" Reno blurted and turned red. It wasn't public knowledge, and none of the Turks - except for Tseng and his predecessor, Veld - knew anything specific about it.

"No, I believe I learned my lesson with that foolish enterprise," Rufus scoffed. "At least, if I were to do such a thing again, I'd know how to be a bit more...careful." He leaned forward in the chair, a cigarette holder held elegantly in his well-manicured hand as he crossed his legs.

Rufus inhaled deeply and blew out a smoke ring, smiling, as Tseng and Reno waited for him to speak. "Yes. My plan, my raison d'etre these days...is to overthrow my father's regime. But in a most careful fashion, you see - by reshaping public perception of the bastard. Which, according to the last ratings reports I've received from Midgar News Network - " Rufus paused a moment to pull out a spreadsheet tucked in a file folder that lay on top of Tseng's desk. "Well, I am pleased to report that his ratings are down." Rufus flashed a brilliant smile as he shoved the document back in its folder.

Tseng cleared his throat and began to speak. "The end goal is plausible deniability for Rufus," he explained. "The President has given an executive order to sanitize Nibelheim." Tseng paused, studying Reno for a reaction. "Do you know what that entails, Reno? When the president orders for something to be sanitized?"

"Well..." Reno began, stretching his legs out as he sat in the chair. "I know if it's something with footage from one of our camera feeds...anything incriminating the Prez or one of the executives, magically disappears. Or gets erased. Or whatever."

"Exactly," Tseng replied soberly. "The clean-up crew that's being dispatched to Nibelheim right now? They're not there to sweep up ashes and clean windows, Reno. Nibelheim is going to be wiped off the map, and completely rebuilt and repopulated - as if nothing had ever happened."

"Excuse me, sir, but what the fuck!" Reno shouted. "That - there's still people there! What about them?"

"That is why we sent you out there, Reno, prior to Heidegger sending out his team. To gather what information you could before SOLDIER takes jurisdiction of the area," Rufus explained. "I want to find out exactly what my father is planning."

"We? You and Tseng were in on this?" Reno exclaimed, frowning. "I don't like feeling like I've been duped, sir. I mean no disrespect, but - this is all kind of shady."

"It is indeed," Rufus agreed. "However...Tseng wanted to test your loyalty. To me, that is. Shall we say, you passed the test." Rufus smiled, nodding.

"Well, ain't that a relief," Reno muttered. "So...you wanted to see if I'd rat on you to your old man, is that it?" He was annoyed, but he couldn't help but admire Rufus's tenacity – and Tseng's apparent loyalty. Clearly Tseng had passed some sort of test with Rufus long ago.

"Tseng informed me you were a quick study," Rufus quipped. "I must apologize for this deception, Reno. But it's imperative that I have absolute trust in those I allow into this…inner circle, if you will." Rufus ran his fingers through his long, blond bangs, sweeping them to the side. Though he was still a teenager, Rufus had inherited his father's lust for power and ruthlessness; now, he wanted to put his father in his place, and create his own little empire while he was at it.

"Now…I plan on doing very little from the beginning, other than having my Turks gather information as to my father's activities. I have several members of SOLDIER I can rely on as well," Rufus went on.

"Kunsel?" Reno blurted, curious. Rufus nodded his head in response.

"Very astute of you, Reno," Rufus replied easily. "Reno…please, sit – I'd like to hear all about your visit to Nibelheim." Rufus gestured over to the futon in Tseng's office while the Director opened up the lacquered bar cabinet in the corner of his office. He took out three coffee mugs and pulled out a small pop-up shelf that revealed a coffee-maker.

"Too early to hit the cognac, but some coffee will do nicely for now," Tseng remarked wryly.

"I could _use_ a coffee after that red-eye flight," Reno muttered. "Okay, I'll tell you what I got from the townspeople, but first - I've got a question," he continued. "What was with all the secrecy about where Tseng was headed? Where _did_ you go anyway, Boss? Or am I not allowed to know _that_ , either?"

"No, I can share that detail with you now, Reno," Tseng replied, handing coffees out to both Reno and Rufus. "And again, we apologize for the secrecy. I was following a direct order from President Shinra, and it was he who instructed me not to inform any of my Turks as to where I was transporting Professor Hojo."

"So where'd you go?" Reno asked impatiently. This cloak-and-dagger crap was really starting to piss him off, even if there were valid reasons for it.

"Nibelheim," Tseng replied. "Hojo instructed me to drop him off behind the Shinra Mansion. It's likely he's digging up Gast's old files or something of the kind."

"Shit," Reno muttered, shaking his head. "That's right...Gast was out there for a while, back when they were building the reactor. Anyway, as for the team from SOLDIER that went out there - Zack and the three cadets - two are MIA and two KIA. Or believed to be killed, anyway. That's what I got out of the three witnesses."

"Really?" Rufus leaned forward, interested. "Tell me more, Reno. These witnesses..."

Reno continued on with his narrative, relaying to Rufus and Tseng all he'd learned from the three young men; how Tifa had come back to town after the initial trip to the reactor, before Sephiroth went mad, telling them of the awful tragedy that befell cadets Mallory and Weingarten, resulting in both of their deaths.

"Then," Reno continued, "after Sephiroth went batshit, I guess the Lockhart girl went after him, and so did Zack and Cloud. Nobody's seen any sign of them since. That's all I know."

"Very odd indeed," Rufus murmured. "Two SOLDIERS, one trooper, and a local mountain guide...they could not simply vanish into thin air."

"So, they are out there somewhere," Tseng said, shrugging. "Or...what's left of them."

Reno gave a shudder at that, recalling the all-too-recent death of his lover. "I guess that's how life is," he shrugged. "Here today, gone tomorrow." Everyone looked down as the sound of a cell phone ringing was heard, and the three men chuckled lightly.

"It's mine," Tseng said, taking the call. He frowned, nodded, and moments later simply said, "Yes...I understand," before ending the call.

"That was President Shinra," Tseng explained. Rufus's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"And what is it that father wants of you?" Rufus inquired icily.

"To send myself and Reno to Nibelheim," Tseng replied wearily. "I know...and you've only just returned, Reno. The President doesn't know you were there, remember."

"Pretty quick turnaround, but I guess I can deal with it," Reno said indifferently as he stretched himself out, cracking his neck to the side. "Though I'd prefer it if you fly this time, Tseng, feeling a little bleary-eyed" he added, grinning. "What's the mission this time?"

"The President wants us to check on things in the village – and to check on Hojo," Tseng replied dubiously. "Who will very likely appreciate being 'checked' upon by the Turks."

"Do complete your missions, and carry out all your orders as they're given, please," Rufus reminded them. "And report back to me. I do not wish to arouse my father's suspicions any more than I may already have done."

"Understood," Tseng replied coolly. "Reno and I will be in touch." He gave his second-in-command a look and nodded at him.

"Get yourself a shower, Reno, and refresh yourself as best as you can, before we set out for Nibelheim in a few hours," Tseng instructed Reno. "And...I'll do the flying," he added with a small smile.

"Thank Shiva for small favors, yo," Reno replied with a cocky grin. "All right, boss. See you in a few hours."

* * *

Some time later, Zack blinked, opening his eyes. He was lying in a bed, dressed in his First Class uniform once again. It had clearly been laundered recently, as there were no bloodstains showing from his battle with Sephiroth.

 _Sephiroth...where did you go wrong?_ Zack wondered, slowly sitting up and rubbing his head. He'd been concussed, he was sure; it hadn't been the first time such a thing had happened.

"Lucky it wasn't worse," Zack muttered to himself. He looked around the little room, hoping to see Cloud in there with him, perhaps resting peacefully. Zack's heart felt as though it dropped to his stomach as his gaze flitted frantically about the small, sparsely finished room.

There was only the one bed, and Zack was alone. He immediately stood up quickly - immediately regretting his haste as a dizzy spell came over him but he pressed on, weaving a bit as he stumbled to the door.

It was locked. He was alone in this room, wherever it was, and the door was locked. Worse, he had no idea where Cloud was.

"Hey, let me out!" Zack shouted. Wherever he was, it still carried that dank odor of hospital antiseptic and mustiness; Zack supposed he was still in this mysterious "Shinra medical facility" as Hojo had indicated.

Wherever _that_ was. Zack knitted his eyebrows together, trying to concentrate. How long had it been, since he'd talked to Hojo? Time had no meaning anymore in a place like this, where Zack couldn't even remember if it was day or night, never mind what day it was.

 _No windows in here either… fantastic_ , Zack thought, still pounding on the door. _I must be in some kind of basement? But where am I?_ There was no answer, no sound outside the door except for the low hum of some machinery. Zack slumped to the floor, sitting with his back to the door and his head between his knees as he wracked his brain, trying to formulate a plan.

"I have got to get out of here," Zack murmured to himself. "And I have _got_ to find Cloud. I have to make sure he's okay." How Zack wished he could just see Cloud's face again; even if he was still healing, just to know he was getting better was all Zack wanted to know.

 _Cloud's still alive_ , Zack told himself stubbornly. _He is, I just know it. I feel it in my heart._

* * *

It would be midafternoon the next day when Tseng and Reno arrived back in Nibelheim. Reno had slept for most of the relatively uneventful flight out; Tseng had been careful to avoid the few bad patches of weather in order to ensure a smooth ride.

He woke just as Tseng began shutting down the rotors, just after the chopped was landed; Tseng had done it so quietly Reno hadn't even noticed.

"Nice flying, boss," Reno said appreciatively, stifling a yawn. He grimaced, raking his fingers up through the unruly nest of red spikes feathered around his head, like some great, crimson halo.

"Of course," Tseng replied without a hint of modesty. "Well, we're here. Let's gear up. The President wants us to check in on Hojo at the mansion."

Reno raised an eyebrow curiously. "Thought Hojo didn't like to be disturbed when he's working?"

"Normally, no. He does not," Tseng confirmed. "However, even Professor Hojo can't go against the president's orders. Our mission comes from Rupert Shinra, remember," Tseng reminded him.

"Yeah, the official mission, that is," Reno said quietly. "Don't forget about our other one."

Tseng nodded, muttering under his breath. "Indeed. And those orders are to do whatever it is the President told us to, remember?" he added glibly. "Affirmative?"

"Affirmative," Reno echoed firmly, nodding. "Don't worry, Tseng. I know which side my bread is buttered on _." Both sides_ , he thought wryly as he and Tseng disembarked from the helicopter.

* * *

"Ah, you're awake," Hojo said indifferently as he came into Cloud's room with a small tray that held a plain-looking sandwich, some sort of shake, and an apple. "I've brought you some food. You suffered a collapsed lung which has been repaired, and the danger is past. I would imagine you're quite hungry?"

"Mmhmm," Cloud grunted, nodding as he struggled to sit up slightly. He glanced at Hojo nervously; Cloud didn't exactly have a good history with the man, and he wasn't happy to be in his care. Still, the wound he'd suffered from the point of Sephiroth's sword seemed to be feeling much better, and Cloud found himself trying to recall those last moments before he'd lost consciousness. What had happened in the reactor? Had Sephiroth survived? The fleeting memories Cloud had seemed fuzzy, blurred around the edges the harder he tried to remember.

"Don't strain yourself; you're not fully healed yet!" Hojo snapped irritably as Cloud shifted himself up on the bed, struggling to sit up. "You've been in a medically induced coma for over seven days, don't push it."

Cloud gaped at Hojo as he wolfed down the sandwich. "A….week?" Cloud said in between bites. "How – what..where am I? Where is Zack? Is he – " No, Cloud wouldn't finish the question, though it was left hanging in the air, unspoken. He didn't trust Hojo, not since his last encounter with the man during the Mako trials. But now it seemed to Cloud that he was at Hojo's mercy; at least until he got well enough to leave.

"Zack?" Hojo murmured, making notes on his clipboard. "I don't recall a Zack…then again, I am terrible with names," he added indifferently.

"Zack _Fair_ ," Cloud answered, his heart leaping into his throat with worry. "He's a First Class soldier. He was with me, in the reactor, when we - " Cloud swallowed hard, remembering Sephiroth's impossibly fast journey from sanity to madness. "When we were attacked," he finished. Cloud was lucid enough to realize he shouldn't say anything that could be used to incriminate himself; he might have killed Shinra's highest ranking soldier ever, and there would likely be some who would not view it as a heroic act. They'd see Cloud as a murderer, not knowing exactly how badly the Great Sephiroth had spiraled into madness and destruction.

"Ah, the First Class, yes," Hojo replied apathetically. "He has recovered. Perhaps you may see him when you are out of isolation. We cannot risk infection, you know, so you must remain here until I find you are well."

"And when will that be?" Cloud asked hopefully. Hojo frowned at him.

"That depends upon how well you listen to me, and your body's own natural healing abilities," Hojo replied as he changed out one of Cloud's IV bags. "Very shortly, I will be placing you in a hyperbaric chamber, to accelerate your healing," the scientist went on, though he had no intention of doing such a thing. The new IV bag contained a powerful sedative, and soon Cloud would be rendered unconscious.

"Okay..." Cloud said unhappily, his head rolling over to the side. Hojo laughed lightly to himself once he made sure the cadet was out cold.

"Hope you enjoyed your last meal, cadet, before you begin your new life as my specimen," Hojo murmured, grinning wolfishly. "I shall return for you later." He left the room, locking the door, heading down the subterranean tunnels toward the other patient holding cells, ready to do to them what he'd just done to Cloud.

 _The female will soon be ready to ovulate...it will be much better for her, and for me, if she is not conscious during the procedure,_ Hojo thought to himself as he reached Quinn's tiny room. He let himself in using the skeleton key, surprised to see the young woman sitting upright on her bed.

"Ah, you're awake," Hojo commented, putting on a false air of caring bedside manner as he offered the try to Quinn. "And how are you feeling?"

"A bit sore," Quinn admitted. "But much better. I'm confused - where am I? Is this a hospital? Have you informed the Academy that I'm here?" She nervously nibbled on the sandwich, grateful for a meal finally, even though it was sparse.

"Naturally," Hojo lied easily. He reached behind her to change out the IV bag. "Here… more fluids to keep you hydrated through your IV. I've informed your commanding officer of your whereabouts, and your condition. He's advised me to keep you here until you are one-hundred percent better."

"Oh," Quinn replied dubiously, yawning. "I'm really...really getting sleepy - Zane. I want...Zane."

Hojo laughed softly, shaking his head as the female fell into a deep slumber almost instantly. "Much too easy, really," he murmured, picking up his cell phone and dialing a number.

"Yes - Subjects C and Q are ready for relocation," Hojo told the speaker. "Subject Z soon to follow. I will phone you when that one is ready. I must warn you, Subject Z has previously been infused with Mako - SOLDIER protocol, yes. He may require additional tranquilizers in order to insure compliance. I will administer the first one myself. Bring the first two subjects to the holding cells in the sub-basement - Oh, what is it now!" Hojo exclaimed as another call beeped through on his phone. "Excuse me...one moment," he told the first caller.

"Professor Hojo?" came a timid female voice over the phone. Hojo sighed with exasperation; it was his lab assistant, Yuan. She had a nervous nature about her, which only added to Hojo's current irritation at being interrupted.

"Yes, what is it, Yuan?" Hojo barked. "I was in the middle of something - "

"We have visitors," Yuan replied in a whisper. "I saw them on the security camera, you told me to watch out for anyone unusual -"

"Out with it, girl, who is it!" Hojo barked. "Spit it out!"

"Th-the Turks are here," Yuan stammered. "Two of them. They're heading toward the mansion."

Hojo frowned. "Do not let them past the library, Yuan, understood? There are places here that are off limit, even to Turks."

"Of course - " Hojo disconnected the calls, growling with frustration at the interruption at such a critical point in his experiments.

 _Blast_ , Hojo thought. _It sounds as though Rupert Shinra sees fit to send his lapdogs to check up on me. I have to admit...when Hollander suggested using the sub-basement for extra laboratory space, I thought it a waste at first. Now I find I am grateful to have it._

Many years ago, when the Shinra Mansion was first constructed, Hollander had noted the massive crawl space that was actually a sub-basement to the library and small lab where Gast had done most of his work. He'd convinced the President to provide some extra funding to build out even more rooms in this underground space. At the time, Hojo thought it was a waste of resources that should be going toward _his_ research, but now...now Hojo was glad to have a place to stash his specimens while the Turks snooped around.

"Such a wonderful thing it is, to have some privacy," Hojo said with a cruel smile, staring at Quinn's sleeping form as he locked her door, and headed up the back staircase toward the library.

* * *

As the two Turks traversed the town, Reno was surprised to see new houses going up already, identical to the ones that stood there just days before. "Looks like they're rebuilding everything exactly as it was, huh?" Reno observed.

"A replica, it would appear," Tseng added, frowning. Something was up, Tseng was sure of it; and it was something the President hadn't felt any need to share with the Turks prior to dispatching them to Nibelheim. He approached a nearby carpenter who was carrying several saws across the cobblestone pathway.

"Excuse me," Tseng called to him. "You're involved in the rebuild here, yes? Do you know if all the villagers have left town?"

"Who are you?" The man replied suspiciously. "We're not supposed to talk to anyone outside of the company - "

"We're from Shinra," Tseng cut in, flashing his ID badge. "Department of Administrative Research. You can speak freely with us, sir. What's your name?"

"Oh." The carpenter let out a small sigh of relief. "Okay then. Name's Grady," he replied, opening up slightly. "I think everyone's cleared out. There was some karate guy here; he left with three lads just this morning. What happened here, anyway? They told us there was some kind of explosion at the reactor..." And Grady continued on, Tseng and Reno looking at each other carefully; neither one was entirely surprised that a cover story had been concocted already. Of course Shinra's Public Relations team had been working overtime trying to squash any little rumor that had leaked out about the fate of Nibelheim.

"What I don't get," Grady went on, "is how the mansion up there didn't get a scratch. All the houses down here, further from the mountain, all up in smoke. Doesn't make sense. Anyway," he concluded, "guess they ain't paying me to think. I've got to get back to work, here, if you don't mind..."

"Not at all, Grady," Tseng said kindly. "Thank you for your time." Turning to Reno, Tseng waved him aside, indicating that they should head next to the Shinra Mansion.

"Curious indeed, isn't it, that the Shinra Mansion stands unscathed after such a disaster at the reactor, hmm?" Tseng said with a quiet smirk.

Reno growled, frowning. "Now you and I both know that ain't what happened, Tseng," he retorted. "Nice little spin by the PR department though, I got to hand it to them."

"Well, that is their job, isn't it?" Tseng observed. "To mold the public's perception, and protect the Shinra name. I am not sure what the President's aim is in covering this up - "

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Reno cut in. They'd reached the massive iron gate in front of the Shinra Mansion; it blew open and shut in the light wind, the rusty hinge creaking as it moved back and forth. "The Prez doesn't want anyone to find out Sephiroth burned down the town. So...we can account for four people who left town," Reno was mentally calculating. "Zangan and the three boys, who I talked to. What about the Lockhart girl? Anyone find her yet? And our people...we got three cadets and one First Class soldier MIA."

"I know," Tseng replied patiently. "Let's deal with Hojo next, Reno. Perhaps he can shed some light on things."

"Somehow, I don't think he'll be opening up to us too easily," Reno countered. "Even if we do work for the President...Hojo's never made it a secret that he hates the Turks. And I got no idea why, I never did anything to the guy."

Tseng got a far-away look in his eye before replying. "Yes, well. From what I understand...there was some bad blood between Tseng and one of the Turks, long ago."

"Who was it?" Reno asked eagerly, seizing upon what could be a good bit of gossip. Reno always

was a horrible gossip; his natural nosiness lended itself to that.

"Never mind that now," Tseng said abruptly, pushing open the double doors. The brass door-handles made a loud, hollow sound as they lightly hit against the side walls of the doorway.

* * *

"Cozy little place, ain't it?" Reno remarked, surveying the yards of cobwebs that hung like moss over the grand chandelier in the foyer. Tseng's expression was impassive, unreadable; his gut told him something sinister was going on here, though he gave no outward sign of his suspicions. It was the strangest feeling of foreboding Tseng got as he stood inside the mansion, taking in his surroundings. Dank, desolate, smelling of mold and mildew, the once-resplendent mansion was now akin to a mausoleum, having fallen into disrepair from neglect.

"Cozy is not the word I would use, Reno," Tseng said dryly. He looked up as Hojo approached, not surprised that the man was already scowling at them; it seemed to be a perpetual thing with him.

"And to whom do I owe this pleasure?" Hojo inquired icily. "A surprise visit from the Turks?"

"The President sent us," Tseng replied brusquely. "Told us to assist you however we could," he added, giving the professor a careful look.

"That is very kind of President Shinra; however, I do not require any assistance from the Turks," Hojo replied, a bitter undertone to his voice. "My lab assistant is quite capable of helping me here. Yuan!" Hojo called loudly. "Where is that girl..."

"President Shinra asked us to check on the equipment for you," Tseng pressed on, not backing down. "You are welcome to call him yourself, of course, if you'd like to confirm our orders," he added, amused.

Hojo scowled at the two then relented, waving them along. "Fine! If you must. Follow me, please," he said, leading them toward the stairs. "I must ask that you do not touch anything, I am conducting several experiments that must not be disturbed."

"We won't touch a thing," Reno promised, though his curiosity was beginning to get the better of him. He felt, just as Tseng did, that Hojo was hiding something. Scientists were often an odd lot anyways; protective of their work, but Reno's instinct told him something more was happening here.

Hojo reluctantly led them along, through the side bedroom suite and over toward the hidden entrance to the basement within the stone wall. Reno watched carefully as Hojo felt along the recesses of stone and mortar, pressing a mechanism within to activate the door. He filed this away in his memory with the strange feeling that he would someday have to return to this dank and desolate place.

Tseng had been down here before, during Veld's tenure, so the area was well-known to him. This was new to Reno, however, and Tseng was glad to see his protégé silently observing and taking everything in. While Reno was often known for putting his foot in his mouth, times like these were when Tseng could see Shinra's best profiler at work. The Director could almost see gears turning in Reno's brain, like silent machinery, as he processed everything, categorizing it for some later use.

They finally reached the bottom of the winding, spiral staircase, and Reno slowed his pace, noticing a door on their left. Scuff marks on the floor indicated to Reno that it had recently been opened and shut. The door was heavy, thick metal, painted the same garish red that colored the interior of the Mt. Nibel reactor.

"So what's in here?" Reno asked, jerking his thumb toward the door. Hojo's head whipped around, the ever-present scowl on his face, though his frown seemed even angrier now with Reno's question.

"Nothing that is of your concern," Hojo said icily. "Storage. Some old boxes, crates, coffins, nothing more."

"Coffins?" Tseng cut in, exchanging a curious look with Reno. _Good catch, Reno. Hojo is hiding something, I'm sure of it,_ Tseng thought.

"Empty, of course," Hojo replied dryly with a derisive snort. "This way, please….watch your step," the scientist continued, carefully deflecting attention away from the storage room _. I don't need these damned Turks meddling in my affairs!_ Hojo thought angrily. _I will do to them what I did to Valentine, if I must….he learned the hard way, not to interfere with my work._

They finally came to the outer library, where Yuan was bent over a computer terminal, entering data. She looked up as the three entered the large room, her eyes darting and nervous.

"My assistant, Yuan," Hojo spoke, introducing the Turks to the young woman. "As you can see, we are quite busy here, getting ready for our new specimens."

"Specimens?" Tseng interjected curiously. "What specimens?"

Hojo gave him a careful look, frowning. "You are, of course, aware that a great fire overtook the village?"

"Yeah," Reno replied. "And Shinra's cooking up their version of it, we know about that."

"Indeed," Hojo said haughtily. "Well, the President has his reasons, I'm sure. My new specimens are a result of that fire," the scientist explained.

"You mean the villagers who died?" Reno pressed.

"Some dead, some alive, does it really matter?" Hojo snapped, exasperated. "You are wasting my time. Aren't you going to get back to the village and assist with the repopulation effort?"

"They are still rebuilding," Tseng said flatly. He could read between the lines of what Hojo was telling them, and the whole situation was rather shady; even for Shinra.

"Repopulating?" Reno interrupted again. "But what about the people who survived, won't they be allowed back to their homes once they're rebuilt?" His naïveté was heartbreaking to Tseng, while it amused Hojo at how much one of the Turks didn't know.

"It seems the President didn't tell you everything, despite Turks having the highest level of clearance," Hojo observed, laughing. "Poor boy! Well, I do hate to burst your bubble, but 'repopulation' means starting anew. It's been done before and it shall be done again. There were a scant few villagers left, and they are in my possession now as specimens."

"They are human beings, not possessions," Tseng snarled. "Hojo, this is dirty. Even for you."

"How dare you come in here, interrupt my work, and question my methods!" Hojo raged, waving his arms madly in the air. He poked Tseng in the shoulder, pushing him back. "Out. Get out. President Shinra has authorized this project, so to question me is to question your superior. I seriously doubt you want to do that," Hojo added, his voice dripping with acid.

"I suppose not," Tseng said, getting right into Hojo's face. "Do not. Touch me. We will leave now. Reno? We're going. Good day, Professor."

With that, Tseng and Reno quickly left the library, a loud bang sounding throughout the dusty basement corridor as Hojo slammed the heavy door shut.

"What the fuck, yo!" Reno snapped. "You just let him throw us out like that? Tseng…we got to do something."

"We will do something," Tseng said firmly. "We will tell Rufus, and see what he wishes to do with this information – if anything."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," Reno complained. "Sneaky bastard. He admitted to us he was going to experiment on humans! On innocent villagers!"

"Reno….." Tseng sighed as they reached the foyer on the first floor. "This will undoubtedly sound cold and heartless to you, but…as a Turk, you must learn how to detach emotion from situations such as these. Hojo is amoral, as is Rupert. I have been with the organization long enough to know this. Often, we have to overlook those things which tug at our conscience. We are Turks, and we have our orders.

Reno grumbled, shaking his head. He shoved his hands in his pockets, chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully as they made their way back through Nibelheim toward the helicopter.

Finally, Reno broke his brief silence just before boarding the aircraft. "Look, Tseng…I know we do a lot of stuff that wouldn't exactly make our mamas proud. Turks get the job done, no matter what. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Of course it doesn't," Tseng readily agreed. "Every Turk will be called upon to do something, in the line of duty that differs from their personal beliefs and moral compass. So it is best to detach all emotions from the situation, and focus should be on getting the job done."

"I always get the job done, sir," Reno shot back. "I just call them like I see them. I'm flying this time, by the way," he added gruffly, already pulling his headset on.

Tseng smiled serenely, nodding as he settled into the co-pilot seat. "Well…it is about time you did some flying on this mission," the Director said, chuckling.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Another chapter done….another chapter closer to the finale! This one was another "stepping stone" sort of chapter – I didn't want to spend a long time moving characters from one location/situation to the next, and a lot of this is set-up for the next chapter, in which we will see exactly what Hojo is up to; and to what lengths or depths of depravity he will go, all in the name of "science." Whenever Hojo is involved…you know it can't be good!
> 
> I got the idea for a hidden 'sub-basement' full of labs and holding cells in the Shinra mansion from DoC really, with the whole concept of Deepground. Shinra's got all kinds of secrets apparently, and of course Hojo is never straight with anyone. He thinks he's fooled the Turks here, but both Tseng and Reno have good instincts and know that the man is up to something. Will they be able to do anything, or are their hands tied? You'll find out in the next chapter! Thanks to all for reading, favoriting and commenting!


	29. Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter - Some blood, and medical/surgical stuff. Zack and Cloud find themselves in a precarious situation as the Shinra army pursues them; hard choices must be made, and loved ones left behind.

* * *

 

 _The night has reached its end_  
We can't pretend  
We must run  
We must run  
It's time to run  
Take us away from here  
Protect us from further harm  
Resistance 

**Resistance - Muse**

* * *

 

The days grew into weeks, and the seasons changed; spring had come and gone, but then again human inhabitants of Hojo's labs would have no inkling of such a thing. The passage of time was hard to measure for those who lived underground. Night and day had no meaning here under the sickening green glow of fluorescent lights reflecting off of tanks full of Mako; though by now many years had passed since the Turks paid their surprise visit to Hojo. They'd returned to Midgar and reported to Rufus all they had seen, and while the Vice President was disturbed that Hojo was continuing to experiment on humans – it was nothing he didn't already know. Soon, Rufus's attention was turned away from the mysteries of Nibelheim, and the disappearance of Sephiroth, when Scarlet proposed the construction of a newer, more powerful Mako cannon to upgrade the one in Junon.

Life went on. Back at the Academy, Zane Ballard moved up the ranks, making it all the way to Second Class. He'd hardened his heart since Quinn's disappearance; the one time he's opened up to anyone, and the gods saw fit to take her away from him. The rumor was that Quinn had been KIA, though her body had ever been found - which was the same case with Sephiroth, Zack, and Cloud.

Zane vowed that if any of those three ever crossed paths with him, he would make them pay. He would exact revenge on the ones he felt responsible for the death of the only girl he ever loved. Night after night, Zane would have the same dream over and over again. Making love to Quinn, oh so quietly in the dorm so as not to disturb anyone else, her soft cries of passion giving way to screams of terror. Zane would wake, sobbing, holding a pillow close to his body in a smothering embrace.

He'd been ordered to see Shinra's psychiatrist, who all-too-easily slapped a diagnosis of PTSD upon him, and sent Zane on his way with a bottle of anti-depressants. Once back in the privacy of his own room, Zane flushed the pills down the toilet. He'd seen what some of these medications could do, turning some of his friends and comrades into utter zombies. The pills numbed the pain, but Zane didn't want to lose the pain, the hurt. It was the only thing he had left to hold onto that reminded him of Quinn. Zane told himself that he didn't deserve any piece of mind; he'd had a bad feeling about Quinn going on that mission and blamed himself somewhat, for allowing her to go.

 _"Allowing" her to go, ha. That's a good one_ , Zane scoffed inwardly _. My stubborn girl…she never would have listened to me if I tried to stop her. She probably would have hated me for trying to tell her what to do._

"Quinn…I'm so sorry," Zane whispered. He sat on the bed in his room, alone, listening to the patter of rain upon the corrugated metal roof of the barracks. Zane traced his finger in the moisture that had formed on the glass pane of his window, drawing the initials ZN + QM.

"I know you're probably in the Lifestream by now," Zane whispered. "You've probably been there for a while, for all I know. I just wish – wish I'd had a chance to say goodbye."

* * *

Hojo's specimens were lined up on opposite walls, floating in a suspension of Mako, antibiotics, and liquid nutrients; a concoction of Hojo's own invention, meant to keep his specimens alive and thriving while in a perpetual state of semi-consciousness. The scientist was bent over his desk, compiling case notes from each of his projects, when his assistant Yuan came in suddenly, her face full of worry.

"Haven't I asked you to knock before entering my study?" Hojo said crossly, not looking up. "What is it _now_ , Yuan?"

"I'm sorry, Professor, it's just that – " Yuan stammered. Even after working with Hojo all these years, his assistant never got over her nervousness around his brusque manner. "In holding tank five, there's a problem – she's going into labor."

"She? You do have to be more specific, Yuan," Hojo snapped. "We currently have three females who are gravid. Which specimen is this?"

"Specimen Q," Yuan replied hurriedly. "Professor – she's really in a bad way. "

"We need to get her out of there," Hojo said, quickly getting up from his chair. "There may not be enough time to properly sedate her."

Yuan looked horrified at this, but followed along with Hojo as they entered the back corridor toward the secret laboratory. Half a dozen human specimens resided there, all floating in Mako tanks, and all in a suspended state of animation – lingering somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, Hojo had kept them all in _stasis_ until he decided what to do with them. Three of the female specimens were in various stages of pregnancy, Hojo having used DNA from various SOLDIERS to inseminate them.

There were times when the unfortunate specimens would wake –briefly – with no recollection of where they were, or when they'd gotten there. Time had stood still for these human specimens of Hojo's, and Quinn was no exception. The last thing Quinn would have any clear memory of was of eating a light dinner of a sandwich, provided by Hojo, moments before introducing a sedative into her IV that would render her unconscious so that he could move her to another location - and what was to be her new home, a Mako tank, much like the cryo-tubes Sephiroth, Cloud, and Zack had discovered inside the Mt. Nibel reactor.

 _Four years ago._ Quinn's last solid meal, as well as that of the others, was some four years prior. Since that time, all the specimens had been provided all the sustenance necessary to keep them alive via IV. Quinn and the other expectant mothers were fed an additional nutritional suspension that would keep their babies well-nourished during their pregnancies.

Hojo was angry, he was frantic. He jabbed his index finger into the button on the sealed door, the laser there reading his fingerprint to allow access. Yuan followed along behind Hojo, ready to assist. The Professor's experiments had taken a horrifying turn in the past year, in his quest to produce a new generation of Sephiroths - or, at the very least, hybrids of Sephiroth and the three females. Quinn happened to be the only one who was descended from a demi-god, and as a result- Sephiroth's DNA was incompatible with her own.

That didn't stop Hojo. He'd extracted DNA from one of his other male samples, and was surprised when Quinn's egg accepted the male cells, creating a healthy zygote that was then implanted into her uterus. She was still not full term; the pregnancy was now at thirty-six weeks, the baby developing normally. Hojo had planned to deliver the child via Caesarian section when the mother reached the forty-week point; he hadn't counted on Quinn going into premature labor.

"Yuan, what is this!" Hojo exclaimed crossly. Two of the other females were bobbing up and down in the tanks, seemingly lifeless; the fluid surrounding them not the transparent liquid with a green tint of Mako, as in the other tanks. This fluid was stained red, billows of crimson clouds leeching out into the liquid, much like the churning of bloody ocean waters after a shark attacked its prey.

Yuan froze, horrified. "Professor, I don't know!" she wailed. "I was just down here and took vitals, they were fine! The alarms didn't sound - "

"Tank defect, likely," Hojo sniffed, indifferently. "Well, they're already dead, Yuan, we'll not waste our efforts there when we have a live one who's already in labor. Drain the tank and let's get her out. I'll scrub and prep for delivery by C-section. It's unfortunate that the S-cells seem to be incompatible with all human DNA."

"Yes - yes, sir," Yuan replied, pressing buttons on the console, causing the fluid to slowly drain from Quinn's tank; in her haste to free the laboring mother from her glass prison, Yuan had inadvertently flipped a switch that controlled the tanks in an adjoining room.

"Subject Q was given DNA from Subject Z, correct?" Yuan looked over to Hojo for verification.

"That is correct," Hojo replied, smiling. "I had attempted to inseminate Subject Q with Sephiroth's DNA half a dozen times prior to this attempt with Subject Z's. Unfortunately we could not produce a viable embryo using Sephiroth's sperm."

Yuan felt a hollowness in the pit of her stomach as the bile rose to the back of her throat. "She's...she's had six miscarriages?"

"Yes, she has," Hojo replied, opening the back door of the tube to release Quinn, who was slumping backwards into Hojo's arms. "Be ready to catch her - oh, Yuan, don't get sentimental, please. It's not as if this woman has any idea what's happened. She wasn't very far along when the pregnancies were lost, anyhow."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," Yuan whispered, half to herself, stifling a sob as she remembered her own loss; a thing she'd kept secret even from Hojo, afraid that he'd try to take her child away once it had been born. The baby had not been Hojo's, but one of the guards who had been on duty in the underground labs. Yuan's was a lonely existence, and one evening she'd found herself inviting the guard to join her for a drink upstairs in the mansion. They'd gotten carried away in one of the rarely-used bedrooms, and Yuan never saw the man again.

A month later, she knew. She was pregnant, and didn't dare tell Hojo. Yuan didn't know what to do, but before she could even make a decision, nature had done it for her. The miscarriage was quick, and painful. It was the only day Yuan had ever called in sick during her eight years of working for Shinra, Inc.

Now, Yuan felt that sense of loss swelling again, and the sensation was almost unbearable. Yuan had known, of course, that Hojo was using these young women as surrogates for his experiments, and she'd tried to detach her emotions from the situation, as Hojo had insisted she do. But this was stirring all those old emotions back to the surface, and for Yuan it was a fresh wave of hurt all over again.

She choked on a sob, and Hojo glared at her as they worked together to heft Quinn's bulky, pregnant form out of the Mako tank and onto a nearby gurney. "Are you actually _crying_ , Yuan?" Hojo asked in his sneering, mocking tone.

"This is just such a tragedy," Yuan replied, sniffling. She felt an anger rising in her, an emotion she tried so hard to keep in check around Hojo, though it was becoming increasingly difficult for Yuan lately.

Hojo scoffed, laughing coldly. "Tragedy? Well, in the sense that my experiment failed, then yes - it is a tragedy," Hojo intoned emotionlessly. "However, you must understand, Yuan - these female specimens were on death's door when they arrived here. I gave them a second chance! It is unfortunate they were not strong enough to survive the pregnancy. Truly regrettable, that Sephiroth's DNA was incompatible. We have learned something through their deaths, Yuan. Do not lose sight of that...they did not die in vain. The gain of knowledge is not without some cost, yes?"

"I suppose..." Yuan said hesitantly. It horrified her to think that Hojo made _sense_ to her - on one level. On one awful, detached and inhumane level. She'd jumped at the chance to work alongside of Hojo, so many years ago. Now, in this moment, Yuan was questioning everything she'd ever done, in the name of science.

"There...checking her vitals, she seems to be fine," Hojo said absently, checking Quinn's rates of pulse and respiration. "Get her ready for surgery, please, and I will scrub. Please administer general anesthesia and analgesics- and throw in a Sleepel spell as well. We wouldn't want her to wake while I'm making the incision."

"No, absolutely not...I'll get her ready, Professor," Yuan replied. She made the decision in her mind already, and Yuan wasn't sure if it was madness talking, or emotion. Perhaps it was a little bit of both.

Quinn began to stir, starting to wake from her deep sleep, and Yuan quickly grabbed an additional bag of the sedative for her IV, along with a materia orb.

_I am so sorry to you, Specimen Q. I will try to get you and your baby safely out of here. I realize now, I failed the other two women. I will not fail you or your child. I do not know how I will do this, but...I will try._

"From one mother to another," Yuan said softly when Hojo was out of earshot. A single tear fell upon the white blanket she placed over Quinn, trying to make her comfortable before administering the full dose of anesthesia. _Even though I never got to see my little one, perhaps you will have that chance, Specimen Q. I will try._

"Are we ready, Yuan?" Hojo asked, returning in his surgical scrubs.

"Indeed we are, Professor," Yuan replied softly, pocketing the Sleepel materia. "I will scrub up and be ready to assist you in a moment."

"Very good, Yuan, very good," Hojo muttered, bent over Quinn, monitoring each contraction and timing it. "Have you cast Sleepel on the patient?"

"Of course, professor." Yuan replied quietly. "She has been fully dosed." He hadn't even noticed his assistant pocketing the materia in a clandestine fashion.

* * *

Zack heard, and then felt, a popping sensation in his ears as the tank depressurized. Then he heard the rich, deep tones of a familiar voice; one he hadn't heard in so very long.

_Get up, soldier. Is this any way for a First Class to behave, sleeping on the job? Always the puppy..._

"Ang-Angeal?" Zack croaked. He blinked slowly, drops of Mako-infused water gathering on the tips of his eyelashes. His empty stomach grumbled audibly; Zack fell to his knees, then leaned forward and vomited. It was all liquid, and stank of pure Mako.

"Ugh, gods," Zack muttered. "Got one hell of a Mako hangover," he said hoarsely, still feeling dazed and unsure of what had happened. He looked over and saw Cloud floating helplessly in a tank much like the one he had just vacated.

His heart dropped to his stomach as it registered in Zack's brain what must have happened. The last thing he remembered was Hojo…

"Not too hard to figure out what the bastard did to us,"Zack grunted. "Used us as test subjects. Cloud! Gods, Cloud…please be okay." Zack eyed the control panel behind Cloud's tank, eyes widening with frustration. "Shiva! Too many damned buttons…Hold on, Cloud, hold on –" Zack's eyes darted around madly, looking for a blunt object. There it was...covered with a thin layer of dust, but it was there in the corner, likely untouched at all for the past four years.

Angeal's sword - the buster sword. _He entrusted it to me, and look what they did with it. Let it gather dust in the corner while Cloud and I were subjected to gods know what._ Zack felt a low growl rumbling in his throat. "That's no way to treat a weapon," Zack muttered as he reached for the hilt.

 _Remember….use brings about rust, Zack_. Zack grumbled again, but smiled as he heard the hint of dry humor in his dead mentor's voice.

"But…this – this is for a good cause, Angeal," Zack declared, bringing the sword crashing into the glass of the tank in one fell swoop. Shards scattered everywhere as the tank exploded, the glowing green of Mako flowing out onto the floor. Zack's nerves were on edge; surely the noise would be heard by whoever was keeping them held captive here? But nobody came; Zack listened carefully as Cloud slumped forward, the cadet's body flopping lifelessly into Zack's arms.

"Cloud - _Cloud_ , I'm here," Zack murmured, kissing the cadet's forehead, damp with moisture from the mako solution. Cloud was unresponsive save for a low keening moan. Zack felt his heart shatter upon seeing the rough state Cloud was in; he was catatonic, not quite comatose, but he very close. Had he remained much longer in the Mako tank, Cloud could very well have ended up with permanent brain damage.

 _Mako poisoning...he's got it really bad,_ Zack thought. _I've got to get him out of here! But how do I get out?_

"Angeal! I could use a little help right about now!" Zack shouted, and then sat down against the wall with a groan, cradling Cloud's head in his lap.

"We'll get out of here, Cloud…I promise. Just got to come up with a plan."

* * *

Further down the underground complex, back in the surgical room, Hojo heard the dull thud and frowned. The walls were heavily and thickly insulated and soundproofed; had they not been so, Hojo and Yuan both would have heard the sharp sounds of glass shattering in the Mako tank room.

Still, the sound made Hojo slightly suspicious that something was amiss; now was not the time to investigate that, however. He was making the surgical incision now, carefully guiding the gleaming scalpel over the taut skin of Quinn's swollen, pregnant abdomen.

"I heard something," Hojo muttered to Yuan, head bent over his work. "See what it is, would you?" he murmured without looking up. "I'll get the baby out, but come back to help me stitch her up. You'll need to re-scrub, of course," Hojo added absently.

"Yes, Professor," Yuan replied, pulling off her bloodied surgical gloves. She dabbed at the perspiration on her forehead with a cloth, taking care not to disturb the hair cap she was wearing. "I'll be right back."

Yuan exited the surgery room, the double doors locking behind her, as she went to investigate the source of the sound. It had come from the tank room, and Yuan felt her heart do a sudden, fearful, flip – what if one of the experiments had mutated and gotten loose? It had happened once before; ever since Hojo seized upon this idea to infuse Jenova cells into the human specimens Shinra drones had collected and returned to him. That time, Hojo had been with her, and had his handgun on him. Yuan was unarmed, save for the materia orb she'd secreted in the pocket of her scrubs.

 _I was going to use that on Hojo_ , Yuan thought worriedly. _But I may have to use it to defend myself, if one of the samples has escaped -_ She gasped as she entered the tank room, clapping a hand to her mouth as she saw not one but two of the samples – one looked dazed and weak, the other seemed utterly catatonic.

Zack lifted his head and glared as Yuan entered; moving Cloud carefully to the side, the soldier quickly stood up, grabbing the buster sword. "Don't come any closer!" he shouted at Yuan. He felt bad yelling at her, really – Zack didn't like yelling at a woman, but if she worked for Hojo, she wasn't to be trusted, and who knew what she was capable of?

"Please, don't hurt me!" Yuan cried, ashamed at how weak and frightened she must sound. "I mean you no harm!"

"No _harm_?"' Zack laughed. "Seems that plenty of harm has come to us here!" he shouted, gesturing toward Cloud. "You work with Hojo, don't you." It wasn't a question but more of a statement; an accusation.

"Yes," Yuan replied unhappily, hanging her head downward. "But I promise you – I will let you out. I am trying to help another sample out, but she is in labor right now. The baby is coming – "

Zack shook his head, sputtering. It was too much to digest, too confusing. "Labor? What sample? What baby? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just – please, just trust me!" Yuan pleaded. "I'll be right back, but if I help you – promise me, you'll help this woman and her baby."

"I – " Zack sighed helplessly, looking down at Cloud. He couldn't even sit upright, never mind walk, and Zack wondered just how in the hell he would handle both taking care of Cloud, and some woman who just gave birth along with her baby. "I don't know if I can help – hey!" Zack shouted, as Yuan quickly shut the door, locking it behind her. "What the hell! Oh, gods….Cloud." Zack sat back down next to Cloud, checking him quickly to make sure he was still breathing.

"Well, you're getting air, at least there's that," Zack muttered . "You're in a really bad way, Cloud. I'm so sorry – I couldn't protect you. Couldn't protect _us_ , from this."

Yuan ran back to the surgery as quickly as her legs could carry her, breathless as she punched in the security code. Without a word to Hojo, she immediately ran to the sink to re-scrub.

The scientist looked up and scowled at her. "About time you came back," Hojo muttered. "What was it? The noise?"

"Bats," Yuan replied quickly. "Some…vampire bats must have gotten through the ventilation system once again." She was surprised and pleased at how quickly she was able to come up with a lie, and prayed that Hojo would buy it.

Hojo shrugged, waving Yuan over to the operating table. "Well, I'll have to call the exterminators back in, I suppose. Yuan, I need you here; the mother's pulse rate seems to be dropping. She needs oxygen – bag her."

"Yes," Yuan replied, grabbing the oxygen mask and placing it over Quinn's mouth. The woman's skin looked gray, and moist with perspiration. "Professor – she's going into shock – "

"Never mind that!" Hojo snapped. He grabbed a set of clamps and fastened them on the umbilical cord. "I've got the baby out – " He grunted, hefting the small bundle out of the open cavity of Quinn's uterus. The little newborn began crying almost immediately as Hojo wrapped it in a blanket.

"It's a girl, unfortunately," Hojo muttered, handing the baby over to Yuan. "Here, hold her while I cut the cord." Yuan held the little girl tightly, murmuring kindly to the baby. Her eyes filled with tears, holding the baby, wishing for a moment that she could have had the chance to bring a child into the world herself.

 _I will help you, little one,_ Yuan silently vowed _. Your mother too, if I can manage it._ "Professor?" Yuan blurted. "The baby's skin – it's very cold," she observed. "All her other vitals seem fine, though; body temperature is actually normal," Yuan added.

"Ah, that is the blood of Shiva running through her veins," Hojo remarked, nodding. "Very interesting phenomenon, indeed." Suddenly an alarm sounded; Quinn's pulse rate began to drop rapidly.

"Put the baby in the incubator!" Hojo shouted as he began suturing Quinn's incision. "She's bleeding out – damn it!" The scientist cursed as he saw the large pool of blood forming beneath Quinn's body. "Must have nicked an artery…such a shame," Hojo stopped his movements, and put away the sutures. "There is no more I can do for her, I'm afraid. Soon she will be one with the Lifestream."

"You're just going to let her bleed out?" Yuan argued. "What about a phoenix down?"

Hojo gave Yuan a grave look and shook his head. "I'm afraid it's too late. Her heart has _stopped_ , Yuan." He looked up at the clock on the wall and noted the time.

"Time of death….one forty-five in the afternoon – " Hojo intoned, writing some notes down in the clipboard chart that lay nearby. It was then that Yuan felt in her pocket for the orb, carefully taking it out and inserting it into a bangle on her wrist. She lifted the baby and held it tight in her left arm, and held her right arm out shakily, ready to cast the spell on Hojo.

Hojo looked up and his eyes locked with Yuan's. "What do you think you're doing? Put that sample down, Yuan. Now."

"She is not a sample!" Yuan cried. "This is just a baby, a poor, innocent baby, who doesn't deserve to be one of your experiments! _Professor_." The baby began wriggling and crying, and Yuan's sense of desperation got even stronger.

Hojo laughed. "Oh, and what, you believe yourself to be some great liberator, Yuan? _Please_ ," he said scornfully. He felt in his pocket for his own weapon, the handgun he always kept by his side; the very same firearm he'd used to kill Vincent Valentine so many years ago.

"I am leaving!" Yuan shouted, a green glow forming about her arm as she summoned a sleepel spell, casting it with all her might toward Hojo. "And I am never coming back!"

"What – how could she… ?" Hojo sank to the floor as the spell hit him almost instantly; Yuan ran toward the door, not looking back, holding the precious bundle tight to her chest. She did not see Hojo weakly raise his hand one last time, his thumb cocking the hammer back. Yuan did, however, hear the gunshot that rang out, echoing throughout the surgery.

She felt the bullet hit the back of her thigh just as she reached the corridor, and fell to her side, crying out in pain. "No!" Yuan screamed in pain, struggling to rise. Gritting her teeth, she staggered to her feet and limped down the hall, punching in the code to the room where Zack and Cloud had been kept.

Zack was on his feet immediately as the wounded female fell through the door, and he rushed to her side. "Oh my gods – are you okay?" Zack asked the woman, though he quickly saw that she was not. "You're bleeding," he stated needlessly. "How can I help?"

"I – " Yuan gasped, and thrust the baby at Zack. "I will not make it out of here alive," she choked a sob. "And the mother…died in surgery. Please – the baby – get her out of here. She is _yours_." Yuan fell back against Zack's knee as he crouched against her, cushioning her head from the hard floor.

"Mine?" Zack said, perplexed. "What do you mean, _mine_?"

"You – Specimen Z. Zack Fair," Yuan babbled. "Oh, gods – it hurts – " she whimpered. "The mother – Specimen Q. The girl, Quinn."

"This – this baby…" Zack whispered, moving the soft folds of the blanket away from the newborn's face. She wriggled in his arms, crying softly. Zack's mouth fell open as he looked into eyes that mirrored his own; her head was covered with soft dark downy hair, black with glints of blue and silver just as Quinn's had been.

"She has my eyes," Zack whispered, incredulous. "But how? How is this possible?"

"Hojo – did it," Yuan gasped. "Zack – I am dying – please, let me see the baby's face. One last time."

"Okay – " Zack held the baby up for her to see, and Yuan smiled.

"Such a beautiful girl. Eyes like yours – like the sky," Yuan whispered happily, her eyes sliding shut.

"I noticed," Zack murmured. He felt something catch in his throat. "Are you saying…that Hojo used my – my DNA – on Quinn, to make this baby?"

Yuan nodded weakly. "Yes," she replied. "He tried – first with Sephiroth's – but….not compatible with human…." Her voice trailed off as her fingers gripped Zack's forearm.

"Please – get her safe. Get out now. Quinn is dead. Hojo – I cast Sleepel on him, but he will wake soon. Do not worry about me," Yuan murmured.

"I have a _daughter_ ," Zack mumbled, disbelieving. He felt the weight of Yuan as she slumped against his lap, and knew then that she'd died.

"I owe you one, Miss," Zack said respectfully, standing back as the woman passed into the Lifestream. "You died saving my little girl." He hugged the baby, bewildered by everything that had just happened.

"I don't even know your name," Zack murmured. "Guess you're too new to have one yet, huh." Zack nudged Cloud, trying to rouse him, but there was still no response.

"Cloud – gods, are you ever in for a surprise when you wake up," Zack said, quietly chuckling. "Shiva, how am I going to manage _two_ of you? And how am I going to feed _you_ , little one?" The baby had already begun to cry from hunger, and Zack began looking around the lab for something to feed her.

Going through the supplies on the shelving, Zack finally located several cases of small bottles containing baby formula; they even had packages of little rubber nipples attached, and Zack breathed a sigh of relief. He found a dusty, discarded tote sack and began shoving supplies into it. "Diapers!" Zack shouted happily as he found several small sample packs and took those as well. "Can't say Hojo doesn't prepare for everything, I guess." Zack's stomach turned as he thought of his baby having been anywhere near that man.

"I'll protect you, and I'll protect Cloud," Zack said as he gathered the baby in his arms once again. He made a makeshift sling and fastened it around the baby, hanging it about his neck as the baby nestled against his chest. "Shh….I've got you, I've _got_ you." Zack grunted as he pulled Cloud up, helping him to stand.

"I really hope you wake up soon, babe," Zack groaned. "Make things a lot easier." He put an arm around Cloud's shoulders, steadying him. They shuffled slowly toward the door, and Zack took a last glance back toward the dead woman on the floor.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for saving my daughter. I promise you, I'll take care of her." He thought sadly of Quinn, wanting to find her in this complex and check on her, but Zack knew he had to get the baby and Cloud to safety first. They were his priorities now; that and staying alive.

"You're going to need a name, little girl," Zack whispered to the baby as they moved slowly toward the heavy door at the end of the corridor. " _Eyes as blue as the sky_ ," Zack murmured, recalling Yuan's words.

"Sky," Zack said finally. " _Sky_. That's a nice name, isn't it?" Zack smiled as he flung open the heavy door, blinking from the bright sunlight. _Wow_. _When was the last time we were outside_? _I have no idea how long we were stuck down there. Now I have to figure out where we are…and where to go next._

"Cloud…I don't know how, but I'm going to get us to Gongaga," Zack told the cadet, no way of knowing if Cloud could even hear him. "We'll go see my parents. Wow, now they'll be in for a surprise, hey? 'Hi mom, hi dad….this is my boyfriend, and we're getting married. Oh, also, this is my daughter.' " He laughed lightly, his heart felt happy even though he was exhausted physically. He and Cloud were _alive_ , they were out of Hojo's clutches, and so was Sky; and that was all that mattered to Zack at the moment.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Next to last chapter, agh! Poor Zane, still doesn't know what happened to Quinn. And Zack has reeeeeally got his hands full now, eh? Coming soon, chapter 30, then an epilogue to tie it all up.


	30. Last Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack's last stand. Get some tissues.

It would be several days until Cloud spoke out loud, and when he finally did – Zack never heard it. He was fast asleep. Zack had hitchhiked with his two charges across the continent from Nibelheim, slowly inching further and further toward Gongaga. Their most recent hitched ride had left them off near a thick forest of trees; it was as far as the driver was willing to take them before continuing on his way.

"Thank you, sir," Zack told the kindly old man. "We can make the rest of the way on foot, I'm sure." Zack was still reeling in shock from their escape, the baby - and the realization of how much time had passed. When Zack flagged down the truck, begging for a ride, the first question out of his mouth was _can you tell me what year it is?_

It threw the driver initially, hearing that question - but he answered it nonetheless, and could tell that his answer was not what the young man had been expecting.

"Four years..." Zack whispered, shaking his head. _We lost four years of our lives thanks to Hojo!_ Sadness mingled with rage; someday, Zack would make sure Hojo was brought to justice for his crimes against humanity. At the moment, though, Zack knew he had more pressing matters to attend to. The little bundle of life held snugly against his chest, heart beating in time with his own; a child had not been part of his life's plans, and Zack didn't know the first thing about caring for a baby. How he wished Aerith was here...she was always so good with kids, she'd know what to do. Zack suddenly realized the driver was speaking to him, and snapped out of his reverie.

"Young man...said you were heading toward Gongaga? Sorry, I'm not going that way today, but I can drop you off near the forest...maybe you can pick up another ride out there," the driver apologized. "You sure you can make it, what with that baby and the kid? Blondie don't look too well, is he sick?"

"Too much Mako," Zack explained. "The fresh air will do him good. Thanks for taking us this far!" Zack shifted the baby on one hip, Cloud on the other, as the driver shook his head in disbelief.

"You're one determined young man," the driver said admirably. "Godspeed in your journey home."

Zack gave the man an appreciative nod as he set off, whistling as he struggled along carrying both Cloud and the baby. Zack's happy whistling seemed to make Sky happy in turn; she was babbling and cooing as she rode along in the makeshift baby sling that was attached to her father. Zack was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was suddenly a father. It wasn't something he was prepared for, but he was determined to make the best of it, and not let Sky down.

 _I didn't ask for this situation,_ but neither did she, Zack thought, frowning. _We're both victims of Hojo. And Cloud...this isn't the first time Hojo's screwed him over._

Cloud moaned softly as they came to a clearing in the forest, and Zack stooped down to rest upon a large rock.

"Just taking a breather, guys," Zack murmured, taking care not to jostle Sky's head as he positioned Cloud to lean up next to him. "Cloud? You okay?" Zack could have sworn he'd heard something…

"I'm…okay," Cloud uttered in a hoarse whisper. "I think." Hearing Cloud's voice after so long was music to Zack's ears; he broke out into a wide grin and began laughing stupidly, slapping his knee for emphasis.

"Cloud! Oh, man…it's so good to hear your voice," Zack exclaimed, giving him a hug. Sky made herself heard with a cry of hunger, and Zack gazed down upon her little pink face, wondering just how he was going to explain _this_ to Cloud. _I can't keep the truth from him, that wouldn't be right_ , Zack thought. _But I'll have to break it to him gently…he seems really confused right now. Hell, my brain's a little fuzzy too...we've been through hell enough already._

"Baby?" Cloud said quizzically, pointing at Sky. "Who does she belong to?"

"Yeah," Zack said slowly. "That's…well, her name is Sky. She's….mine."

"Sky," Cloud turned the name over in his brain slowly, and then shook his head. "Huh. Sorry. I don't remember. Everything – is fuzzy." He rubbed his head and looked around, suddenly seeming to realize his surroundings. "Where _are_ we, Zack? Wait. The baby. Yours?"

"Yeah," Zack chuckled. "Well…about that. It's not something that was done with my permission. Cloud – I don't want you to freak out, but just listen. I promise you, I'm going to protect you from now on, keep us safe. All three of us. Do you remember…anything, about Nibelheim?"

"Nibelheim…." Cloud sighed, closing his eyes. He kept them closed for several minutes; long enough that Zack thought perhaps Cloud had drifted off to sleep. "There was a fire. Tifa – I saw her, didn't talk to her – "

"That's right," Zack cut in, encouraged that Cloud seemed to remember something. He blanched as Cloud mentioned the fires. _Oh gods…his mom. What if he doesn't remember what happened to his mom?_

"Then Sephiroth was there. And Hojo. Everything's blurry, running together. All my memories are mixing…like several colors of paint blending into one," Cloud tried to explain how he felt, but the words were difficult to get out; his tongue felt like rubber and his brain felt as though it was slogging through cement. "But I don't remember there being a _baby_." Cloud knitted his brows together, trying to make sense of everything. He gave Zack a small smile; the first one seen since their initial imprisonment in Hojo's labs, and seeing it made Zack smile as well.

Cloud's smile brightened, and he looked down at Sky, peering at her little face, nestled within the folds of the swaddle around her. "She's a cute baby, Zack, but I have a question," Cloud said, his voice sounding slightly odd. "So do you have a girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? What? Cloud, what are you talking about?" Zack shook his head and gaped at Cloud.

Cloud laughed suddenly, jarringly – the sound was artificial and strange, and didn't sound like _Cloud_ to Zack.

"Um. The baby. I figured the mother was your girlfriend." He paused and scratched his head. "I can't figure it out, though. I thought..." Nothing was making sense, and Cloud felt his gut churning as another wave of Mako-induced nausea washed over him. He would have lucid moments here and there, but the nature of Mako poisoning and addiction was such that it affected the victim's memories, personality and psyche. Memories would wax and wane, they would come into focus sharply for Cloud for just one second - only to fade into obscurity once again, lost forever.

"I _did_ have a girlfriend a while ago," Zack said slowly. "But that was long before I met you, Cloud, and no...she's not Sky's mother." He was trying to explain this in a way that wouldn't hurt Cloud or shock him, but Zack didn't know how he was supposed to do that, either. "Sky...well, Hojo created her in a lab, there's really no other way to put it. He took DNA samples from me - without my permission, of course - and I guess he used it to inseminate Quinn. That's Sky's mother - Quinn. She was one of your friends at the Academy - Quinn Mallory. Do you remember her, Cloud?"

Cloud shook his head. "No," he admitted, brows knitting with frustration. He was missing all these bits of time, all these memories of people, places and things. Cloud knew there was something wrong with his memories, but he couldn't figure out exactly . "There's a lot I can't seem to remember, and it's pissing me off."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Cloud...but I have to ask you this..." It hurt Zack to even think he had to ask, but he knew he must. "Do you remember...us?" The way Cloud had been sitting next to him felt all wrong; he seemed shy and reserved, not like the Cloud he remembered.

"Us?" Cloud looked confused at the question, and blinked twice. "What do you mean by that? You're my friend, right?"

Zack's heart fell, and he hugged his daughter tightly to his chest. Now it seemed that Cloud was just as much of a stranger to Zack as Sky was, and the realization was gutting to the soldier. "We're...more than friends, Cloud," Zack said slowly. "I don't want to overwhelm you, though - a lot of time has passed while we were imprisoned by Hojo."

"Hojo," Cloud said bitterly. "I remember him. The scientist. He hurt me before, in Midgar. Then in Nibelheim. In that tube. I was in that tube, choking on Mako. Felt like I was forever drowning, and falling in space."

"That's right," Zack encouraged. "He did some terrible things to you, with Mako. Cloud, that's why you're so sick now. He overdosed you with Mako, more than you're used to. That's why your mind is fuzzy."

"I don't feel well," Cloud mumbled. "Like I'm going to be sick to my stomach - and I feel like I just want to sleep, for days on end."

"We'll rest here for a bit," Zack promised. "But then we're going to try and hide out in Gongaga. My parents live there," he reminded Cloud.

"Okay. But I think….I need to lie down for a bit," Cloud murmured. "My stomach is doing flips…and I feel dizzy." Zack nodded, and helped Cloud to lie down on his side, just as Sky began squirming; the infant was growing irritable from a diaper that needed changing, and from hunger.

"I have to change Sky's diaper, Cloud," Zack said softly. "And she needs to be fed…I've got some formula here, but we'll run out soon, so we'll have to be on our way as soon as you feel okay to move."

"All right…..Zack," Cloud said with a yawn. "You said before….that we were more than friends?"

"Yeah," Zack replied sadly. "We're more than friends. _Much_ more." He sighed, and reached a hand out to ruffle Cloud's hair as he balanced the baby on his hip, and then set her down on a blanket as he set to work on changing her diaper.

"So…are you my boyfriend or something?" Cloud asked, his eyes growing heavy with sleep. Zack's head shot up upon hearing that and he nodded eagerly. He quickly finished cleaning up Sky, putting a clean diaper on her, and then sat down near Cloud for a moment. Zack didn't know what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. Cloud was trying so hard to remember, but the reality of it seemed pretty grim. The past four years imprisoned in a Mako tank had served to wipe out many of Cloud's memories, and scrambled some others around into a jumbled mess.

"Yes," Zack heard himself saying. He had to let Cloud know what it was they meant to each other – even if Cloud couldn't remember any of it.

"Yes…I'm your boyfriend, Cloud," Zack went on. He sat carefully next to Cloud, Sky nestled in the crook of his arm as she nursed her bottle, one hand lazily petting and stroking Cloud's hair as he drifted into sleep.

"Feels nice," Cloud murmured, smiling, finally starting to relax a bit more. "You're so nice to me, Zack. Thank you." Zack could tell that Cloud was fighting hard against sleep. He was worried about him; Zack knew full well how badly Mako poisoning could affect a person, and Cloud had been in that tank for far too long.

"You're welcome, Cloud," Zack replied. He sat down himself, right next to Cloud, heartbroken and sad as he gently rubbed Sky's back, encouraging her to burp following her feeding. Zack patted her back once she was done, and gazed into her eyes, trying to let the enormity of it all sink in. It was unreal to think of himself as a father, and Zack smiled a bit, imagining his mother fussing over his daughter, proclaiming her happiness over being a grandmother.

 _Just like your mom, Cloud,_ Zack thought sadly. He looked up to the heavens and closed his eyes to pray, trying to commune with the spirit of Cloud's mother.

 _Reyja...I promise you, I'll get Cloud through this,_ Zack silently vowed. _Hey, look...you're a grandma now! Just like you wanted, right? I know...it's not something I expected either. And I don't know much of anything about babies, but I'm trying. I'm trying... And I'm trying to get Cloud back to reality, back to being himself. I'll keep him safe, and I'll make sure he gets better. I promise._

"For how long, though?" Cloud suddenly spoke again, his voice ragged with tiredness. "How long were we…are we….together?" he added sleepily, eyes now shut, exhaustion winning out over the desire to stay awake and talk things out with Zack. Cloud desperately wanted to understand; he wanted to remember. Cloud knew Zack was a good man and that he was a friend – but he couldn't remember anything beyond that. He'd met Zack in Midgar, and after that, his memories seemed to seep into a dense fog of confusion.

"Just get some rest, Cloud," Zack said tiredly. "We can talk about everything later. First you need to sleep."

* * *

Reno and Rude were circling back over the Nibel mountain range in one of the Shinra helicopters; they'd been given orders right from the top, and were dispatched immediately once they received the summons from the President.

_Three fugitives, medical samples; two adult males, one newborn female. Believed to be armed and dangerous. Shoot on sight._

The cover story that Hojo had crafted had all the clever spin of one of President Shinra's political campaigns. The two samples had broken out of his lab after murdering both Hojo's assistant and kidnapping a newborn infant – leaving the birth mother for dead.

Of course, Reno was immediately outraged upon hearing the report, and vowed to 'shoot the motherfuckers myself' if he caught sight of them. As they flew over the ravine, Reno's mind shifted back to that day so many years ago, when they were searching for the survivors of the Nibelheim disaster.

"Hey…Rude," Reno murmured, adjusting his headset. "You ever wonder what happened to Zack and that cadet who went MIA?"

"Probably got killed," Rude replied with a shrug. "There's been no sign of them in four years, right?"

"Yeah," Reno replied, an involuntary shiver going through his body, even though the interior of the chopper was fairly warm. "Suppose you're right." He squinted through the windscreen; in the distance Reno could make out the faint silhouette of another Shinra chopper that was currently on course toward Gongaga.

"Another bird in the air, partner," Reno noted, nodding his head toward the window.

"That'll be Cissnei," Rude supplied helpfully. "Tseng gave her the coast and Gongaga area to do a sweep."

"Guess we'll head toward Corel next, then," Reno replied. He tapped his headset and spoke into the mic. "Ciss, come in, this is Reno. Over?" A crackling sound came over the headset, and moments later Reno heard Cissnei's voice in reply.

"Reno…I'm heading toward Gongaga," Cissnei replied. "Going to talk to some of the villagers, see if anyone knows anything."

"Roger that," Reno replied. "We're heading toward Corel to finish our sweep. Let us know if you see anything."

"I will," Cissnei replied briefly. "Over and out."

* * *

"Cloud - I hear a chopper, we need to get going again," Zack gently nudged the cadet awake, but he was fast asleep. He knew they were being tracked, he wasn't sure why, but some part of Zack believed that if only he could talk to someone at Headquarters - if only he could tell the Turks and the President what had really happened in Nibelheim. Maybe not President Shinra, but surely Vice-President Rufus would be willing to listen? Zack knew that even if he had a direct line to Rufus Shinra, it was a crapshoot at best. Four years had passed; Rufus probably had no idea who Zack Fair was. Another MIA soldier who suddenly turned up, years after the search for him had been called off.

Another thing Zack knew was how quickly political climates could change. Now, with the knowledge that he'd lost four years of his life, Zack wasn't sure what the current state of the world was. Had all the Genesis clones been defeated? Was Rupert Shinra still president, or had he passed the mantel down to his son?

 _I'm not sure who I can trust anymore_ , Zack realized sadly. _Hell, I'm not sure who's left at Shinra, Inc. It's been four years, after all._ Cloud was not easily roused, and Zack realized he would have to carry Cloud - and the baby - if they were to get out of there quickly. The sounds of a helicopter meant one thing to Zack - that the Turks were looking for someone. _Probably me, Cloud and Sky_ , he reasoned. Until he figured out who he could trust, Zack was taking the cautious route, and hiding from everyone. The main goal was getting Cloud somewhere safe where he could recover and a safe, warm place for Sky, where she could be properly fed and cared for.

Zack walked for several miles, slowly and carefully. Having to carry both Cloud and Sky was impeding his speed and progress, but the soldier knew it couldn't be helped - and Zack wasn't about to leave either one of them behind.

"Not much - further - " Zack grunted, his heart leaping at the sight of the twisted wreckage of the ruined reactor." Oh, thank gods...we're here, guys! Gongaga...my hometown. Man, I've never been so glad to see this old scrap heap." Sky wriggled and cooed happily in her sling, and Zack smiled, kissing the top of her downy little head. He was starting to feel bonded to his infant daughter, even though she hadn't been known to him until just a few days prior.

"That's right, Sky," Zack murmured, shifting his weight as he tried to hoist Cloud up and help him to walk. "You're going to meet your grandparents today." Zack shouted as he lost his grip on Cloud, and the cadet fell bonelessly to the ground in a heap.

"Cloud! Cloud...are you all right?" Zack said pleadingly, stooping over his fallen lover.

"He's very sick, you know." Zack's head spun as he heard a soft female voice calling over his shoulder. He immediately placed himself between the intruder and Cloud, shielding Sky with his arms.

" _Cissnei_?" Zack cried in disbelief as the russet-haired Turk stepped out from the shadows of the ruined reactor. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Zack!" Cissnei sighed. "They're looking for you. I was sent to find the targets. I'm sorry, it's my job."

"No, you listen to _me_ , Cissnei!" Zack shouted, exasperated. All the rage and exhaustion he'd had pent up was starting to blow, and Cissnei was about to be an outlet for that anger. "I don't care about your job or your orders from Tseng! Do you have _any_ idea what I've been through, what _we've_ been through?" He drew his sword and pointed it straight at Cissnei, unwavering. She had been his friend, and someone he trusted, but she was also a Turk who was duty-bound.

"You escaped from Hojo's lab after murdering two women, one who had just given birth...and kidnapped her newborn baby," Cissnei replied flatly. She arched an eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders. "At least...that's what they _told_ us," she added dubiously.

"They told you _lies_ , Cissnei!" Zack yelled. His shouting startled the half-asleep baby, who began to cry. "Shh...I'm sorry, Sky, I'm sorry...daddy's just mad at these people who are spreading lies about us - "

" _Daddy_?" Cissnei echoed, her expression one of utter confusion. She stepped toward Zack, her hands held out to show that she had no weapon on her. "Zack, please...put down your sword. The baby – don't frighten her. She's not really...yours, is she?"

"I didn't believe it at first either," Zack admitted. He'd always liked and trusted Cissnei, and he hoped that instinct wouldn't prove him wrong now. "She's...my daughter, apparently. Her name is Sky."

"Sky..." Cissnei whispered, peering at the little face as Zack moved the blanket away from her chubby pink cheeks.

"Hojo did this," Zack said bitterly. "His assistant told me, as she was dying - and Hojo shot her, by the way, not me, and certainly not Cloud. Look at Cloud, he can't even stand up, how in the hell do you think he could hurt anyone?"

"I don't," Cissnei replied, cocking her head. "So - Hojo took samples from you and made a baby, is that what you're saying? And the mother - "

"The mother was a friend of Cloud's, and a friend of mine," Zack explained. "Quinn. We thought she died that day when the rope bridge snapped...Cloud and I went back searching for her, but we never found her. Now I know why, though. Hojo got to her first."

"She's a beautiful baby, Zack," Cissnei said quietly. "May I hold her?"

Zack stiffened, unsure if he should hand her over. "Cissnei - I'm trying to take her to my parents. We can hide there, and Cloud can get well again."

Cissnei laughed, but it was a sad, bitter laugh, one without humor. "Oh, Zack...don't you see? Gongaga's the first place they told me to look. I was sent here to bring the three of you back. The president told us to shoot on sight."

"The president told you to shoot an innocent baby who's only a few days old?" Zack snapped. "Damn it, Cissnei, you know that's cold. Even for the Turks."

"Which is why...I want to offer you an alternative," Cissnei said slowly. "I can get your baby to safety. I'll bring her to your parents, and I'll protect her myself. But you and Cloud have to get out of here. The Shinra army is on their way, Zack. You have to take cover."

"Cloud is _sick_ , Cissnei!" Zack said, exasperated. "Look at him! He needs to see a doctor!"

"I _know_ that," Cissnei replied, as patiently as she could muster. "But your daughter - she needs to be looked after too. And you can't do that when you and Cloud are fugitives."

"You're putting me in an impossible situation, Cissnei," Zack grumbled. He tightened his arms protectively around the little blanketed bundle that was his daughter. _My own flesh and blood...I've only just gotten to know her, and now I have to give her up?_

"I don't want to let her go," Zack said softly, a tear in his eye. He kissed the top of Sky's head again, gently. "I've already lost...so much."

"I know," Cissnei replied, eyes brimming with tears of her own. "I'm giving you a way _out_ , Zack. When the coast is clear - I'll find you, and Cloud. I promise. First, we need to make sure your daughter is safe."

"Why do you even _care_?" Zack asked unceremoniously. "This is _my_ daughter. She's nothing to you."

"I care….because I grew up without parents," Cissnei replied evenly. "And I know what it's like to not grow up in a normal home. Shinra...took me in, and raised me. Trained me to be a Turk, starting when I was a teen. It's the only home I ever knew. Sephiroth and I grew up in Headquarters together." She chuckled at Zack's surprised look. "You never knew that, huh. Well...a lot of people don't, I guess. Sephiroth and I played together as children. He was kind to me. I wish….I wish I knew what really happened in Nibelheim. What made him do what he did."

"You were friends, then," Zack said, surprised at Cissnei's sudden revelation. He hadn't even thought that the two were acquaintances, never mind childhood friends. "And I don't think we'll ever find out what drove Sephiroth to kill all those people. Madness, I suppose. Same with Genesis."

"I guess you're right. And yes…Sephiroth and I, we were friends. That was before Hojo took Sephiroth to live in the lab," Cissnei added.

"Hojo," Zack said bitterly. "I never want to hear that name again." The frown lifted from his face as he gently took Sky out of her sling, holding her up, taking in her tiny little features.

"And yet…if it hadn't been for Hojo, she wouldn't be here," Zack said quietly. He heard Cloud groaning from where he still lay on the ground, and took a moment to kiss Sky on the top of her head, before handing her over to Cissnei.

"Watch her head," Zack muttered, quickly looking away. "I have to get some supplies –do you have any potions on you, Cissnei? How about a remedy?"

"I have some stuff in my gear bag," Cissnei replied, her eyes locking with Zack's. "Hold the baby for just a second…I'll get it," she muttered, handing Sky off to Zack once again.

The thought was there before Zack could suppress it, staring into the bright blue eyes of his daughter; eyes that mirrored his own.

 _This might be the last time I ever get to hold you_ , Zack thought, then immediately scolded himself for thinking it. He barely heard Cissnei's words breaking through his reverie, but snapped to attention when she nudged him.

"Three potions, three remedies," Cissnei announced. "I'll put them with your other stuff?"

"Yeah," Zack replied, woodenly. Suddenly he felt as though the walls were closing in on him; as Cissnei straightened, standing up, Zack reluctantly handed the baby back to her. He then knelt next to Cloud, looking up at the diminutive but tough Turk, watching her as she protectively cradled Sky in her arms.

"My mom's going to wonder, you know," Zack remarked. "My dad's not all that observant, but my mom is. She's going to wonder why a complete stranger is suddenly showing up on their doorstep with a baby who looks like me."

"Who said I'm a complete stranger?" Cissnei said cryptically, a slight smile working its way across her petite features. "I'm already part of the family."

"You're – what?" Zack gaped, staring after Cissnei as she retreated, heading back toward the town. He sighed, shaking his head, feeling hollow and sad. "I was just getting used to the idea of being a father…and now she's gone," Zack said sadly. He sat there, helping Cloud to sit up slightly as he unscrewed the cap from the first potion bottle, tipping the contents into the cadet's mouth.

"Drink up, Cloud," Zack gently urged. "Please…you need to get some more strength, and work the toxins out of your body. Going to give you a remedy next, okay?"

Cloud's entire body went into spasms suddenly; he sputtered and choked, and gave Zack an unexpected dirty look. "This tastes like shit, Zack," he complained.

Zack couldn't help it; he laughed out loud. "I'm sorry, I'm not picking on you, I swear," Zack promised, though he was smiling. Cloud gave a weak grin in return.

"Glad…I could make you laugh," Cloud whispered. He grimaced as he leaned against Zack as the soldier slowly helped him to stand up.

"We can't stay here in Gongaga, Cloud," Zack explained. "It's not safe. We'll hitch a ride if we can find another truck making a delivery run or something. Think you can walk a bit, if I help you?"

"I think so…." Cloud said slowly, gingerly testing out his legs. He looked around, frowning. "Where is that baby? What was her name?"

Zack's heart fell at the question. "The baby…her name is Sky. And she's not here right now. I asked a friend to take care of her. But I'm going back for her, once we're safe, okay?"

"Okay. Zack?" Cloud's eyes were bright once again, focused as they fixed upon Zack.

"Yeah? What is it, Cloud?"

"When I was asleep…I remembered something," Cloud said timidly, his face reddening slightly. The admission piqued Zack's curiosity.

"Remembered what?" Zack pressed.

"Kissing you," Cloud's eyes dropped to the ground shyly, avoiding Zack's gaze. The soldier couldn't help but smile, however.

"That's a good thing, Cloud," Zack said, nodding. "I know it must freak you out a bit, when you can't remember much of anything else. And I'm not going to push you, I promise you that. Just…there's one thing you should know. I love you, more than anything, Cloud. I didn't want to say it before and freak you out, but…." Zack swallowed hard before continuing. "If something happens – I just wanted you to know."

Cloud nodded, and reached out, squeezing Zack's hand. "I can tell…by the way you look at me," the cadet replied. "And the way you take care of me. I just wish – that I could remember more. It hurts so _bad_ , not being able to remember everything."

_It hurts me **too** , Cloud. _

"It's okay," Zack said out loud. "It'll get better eventually. We'd better get going, though. Stick your thumb out, Cloud, it's time to hitch a ride," he added, grinning as they slowly made their way out of town and back toward the main road.

Hours later, a fruit truck finally slowed down, and Zack waved frantically for the man to pull over.

"Where you two headed?" the driver inquired.

"Midgar," Zack quickly replied.

"You're in luck." The driver had an easy smile, and a weather beaten face that had been pleasantly tanned by the sun. "Heading there today. I'm bound for the ferry at Costa, and then it's on to Junon, final destination Midgar. Going to be a long, bouncy ride in the back there, I'm afraid," the man added apologetically.

"That's not a problem," Zack replied, helping Cloud into the back of the flatbed. "It'll give us some time to catch a few winks."

"Suit yourself," the driver replied. Soon they were on their way, with a long journey ahead of them.

* * *

Several days had passed, and the Shinra military academy was a flurry of activity as the infantrymen were being mobilized. Another platoon had been ordered to tail the fugitives after some locals reported a sighting outside Junon Harbor. Zane was in his room, gathering up his gear bag. He'd recently been promoted to Third, and would be on the front lines for this mission.

"Zane…did you hear the details?" Zane looked up at his door as another Third named Cole passed by.

"Details about what? The mission?" Zane replied gruffly. He'd been withdrawn lately, moody; obsessing over what had really happened to Quinn. He'd never taken up with anyone else after her disappearance; the loss of the only girl he'd ever loved had hurt Zane deeply.

"The bodies they found at the labs, Zane," Cole replied. "Look, dude – maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but – "

"No, tell me," Zane insisted. "I'm a part of this mission too; I have every right to know what's going on."

"One of them was Quinn," Cole said quietly. "Heidegger said the two subjects who escaped from the lab killed her."

"Shit," Zane muttered. He put his hand out to brace himself against the wall, bowing his head. He stayed like that for a few moments until Cole nudged him.

"Ballard….are you okay? Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have sprung it on you like that – " Cole stammered.

"I'm fine, Cole," Zane said suddenly, his eyes gone cold. "Just promise me one thing. If we find these guys – if we find the bastards who did this – I want the kill shot."

"Gonna be a lot of us, man," Cole replied, shaking his head. "All of Squadron D. If it comes down to it, though, I'll hold the son of a bitch down while you pump him full of lead."

Zane nodded, his heart feeling every bit like a lump of ice in his chest. "Then let's go. Got a job to do."

* * *

The journey over the ocean in the ferryboat kicked Cloud's motion sickness into high gear, and caused another recurrence of Mako poisoning. He'd vomited all over his cadet uniform, and lacking any other extra clothing, Zack re-dressed him in a spare First Class uniform he'd had stashed in his bag.

"Looks pretty good on you," Zack said encouragingly as he adjusted the pauldron on Cloud's shoulder. They were now bound toward Midgar, and the creaky, rickety truck wasn't doing much to help settle Cloud's churning intestines.

"I don't feel well again," Cloud whimpered, smacking his mouth noisily. "Ugh. I threw up….gross." Cloud sniffed at the pile of soiled clothing distastefully.

"Forget about that, I'll get rid of it. Have some water," Zack said, shoving the bottle at him. "Listen, we're almost in Midgar – " The whizz of a bullet stunned Zack silent, and the ensuing ricochet as the bullet deflected off of the rear fender of the truck caused the driver to jam on his brakes, startled.

"I'm sorry, son, but you two got to get out, I can't get involved in this," the driver shouted back at them, pulling over to the shoulder to let them both off. "Got you as far as Midgar city limits, I can't do no more for you. I got a family to feed, can't be getting myself shot - "

"I understand, pops, I understand," Zack replied, as he Cloud out of the vehicle. "Thanks for taking us this far, okay?" There was no reply from the

"Come on, Spikey, just a bit further," Zack said, panting from exertion as he hauled a catatonic Cloud over the dune. Worry lined the SOLDIER's handsome face as he shook his head. "We're heading back to Midgar, Cloud. Once you start feeling better, we're going to get jobs being mercenaries, you and I. No more answering to anyone else, no more tests...no more Mako..."

Cloud's head lolled about in a sickening fashion as Zack struggled to carry him along. Although Zack was strong, and had been virtually immune to the effects of being immersed in a Mako tank - unlike Cloud, - carrying the cadet for so far and for so long was starting to tax Zack's strength.

"When the coast is clear, we'll get back to Gongaga, back to Sky," Zack promised, dragging Cloud behind a huge boulder as the bullets began flying, from both the ground and the air. Aerial artillery had been employed, and the Shinra choppers were circling, closing in. "And once you get your memories back, Cloud…well, I hope we find our way back to each other. Don't give up hope, Cloud. Not yet."

He gave Cloud a soft kiss on the cheek, gloved hand caressing his chin before he took leave of him, ready to defend them both.

"Don't go…." Cloud murmured, weakly reaching out toward Zack as he retreated, the buster sword on his back, gleaming in the mid-day sun.

_Don't go, Zack. Please don't go. I've got a bad feeling about this._

* * *

As he came over the bluffs, Zack heard the telltale clicking sound as hundreds of troopers cocked back the hammers of their guns, all aimed at one man. He could feel all those eyes on him, and briefly thought back to all the times he'd been in battle; when he had an objective to fulfill, a mission to accomplish.

 _Guess **I'm** today's mission, then_.

"Well, that's a hell of a welcoming committee," Zack remarked dryly. "Looks like SOLDIER is in a sorry state of affairs in my absence." He took a defensive stance, drawing his sword back as he sized up the enemy.

 _Enemy_. Once friends and comrades – some of them, anyway – they now all saw Zack not as a respected instructor and mentor in SOLDIER, but as a fugitive. Wanted for murder, kidnapping, and gods knew what other charges that had been cooked up.

"I'm not your enemy!" Zack shouted at the unflinching throng. "But I know you have your orders. And I am _tired of running_! _Come and get me_!" He challenged, running toward the troopers with his sword drawn.

"Hold back, Zane," Cole was perched behind a rock next to his friend who was focused upon the raven-haired soldier charging toward them; his arms shaking with silent rage as he gripped the butt of his rifle tightly.

"Fuck that, Cole," Zane muttered. "I've been holding back for four years!" He inched forward as the squadron leaders urged everyone to move positions, as hundreds of guns unloaded their bullets into one man.

Zack's blade flashed silver-white in the sun, which was now slipping behind a cover of clouds. Rain's coming, Zack thought absently, cutting down one trooper after another while dodging bullets, but he was starting to grow fatigued. His reflexes were slowing, and he was no longer dodging all of the bullets; some of them were making contact. Then more of them, as the gun-wielding troopers closed down upon him.

Their numbers had started with three hundred, and one by one, Zack had killed them all. All but three who stood over him, looming as he staggered backwards. He wiped his forearm across his lips, tasting blood; his mouth was full of it.

_Minerva, if you can hear me…if you can hear my prayer, please…I beg of you….let Cloud live. Take me if that is your will, but…let Cloud live. I know my time is near, but Cloud…he's not done here yet._

"I've been waiting for this moment for four years, you murdering asshole," Zane said with a deadly calm as he pulled the trigger. A spray of bullets flew out, peppering Zack across the chest, knocking him forcefully to the ground. "That's for Quinn, you son of a bitch."

Zane spat on the ground, and then stood over Zack, kicking him furiously in the ribs, shouting hysterically until the other two soldiers pulled him off. Zack's head hit the ground with a dull thud, and he cried out Cloud's name with the last bit of strength he had.

_Never got to say goodbye._

* * *

When Cloud woke some time later, he heard Zack's voice echoing in his head, strong and comforting, full of concern and love.

 _Love_. _Zack said he loved me._ Cloud couldn't deny that there was some sort of bond between himself and Zack, and even though he couldn't remember the specifics of that bond, he knew that Zack loved him, and presumably he must love Zack in return.

Cloud sat up suddenly, and was acutely aware of the dead silence that surrounded him. He had somewhat fortuitously blacked out again during the worst of the attack, and was thought to be dead. That was the only reason his life had been spared by Shinra's army.

Zack was not so lucky, as Cloud would soon find out. His once strong body was riddled with holes; the handsome face battered and bruised and smeared with blood. The rain was starting to come down in a slow drizzle, washing away the bloodstains in a crimson puddle that pooled out next to Zack's body.

Cloud cursed his weak limbs; they still felt like he was moving through cement. He struggled to army-crawl on his belly toward Zack. "Z-Zack," Cloud murmured, teeth chattering from the cold dampness of the rain.

"Oh gods…. Zack!" Cloud cried, once he saw the condition Zack was in. He began frantically searching his pockets for a phoenix down. Zack gave a weak smile when he realized what Zack was doing.

"No, Cloud. It's too late for that," Zack said weakly. "It's too late. Just – just be with me, for a little while. I want to tell you something."

"No, Zack – I can't let you go. I won't – " Cloud argued. The memories were starting to flood back, everything coming to the surface in an overwhelming rush; his love for Zack, Nibelheim, his mother dying, Sephiroth's madness and betrayal – the torture in the lab. Cloud stifled a scream along with a wave of nausea as he bit down hard upon his tongue, tasting blood _. Why am I remembering now! Why now, when Zack is dying? Does the universe fucking hate me that much?_

"Stu-stubborn," Zack coughed harshly. "Stubborn….chocobo." He smiled up at Cloud, reaching a gloved hand up toward the cadet's face, pulling him down into a weak hug.

"I remember now. I remember us, Zack. And now it's too late! You taught me how to love, Zack. I feel - because of you – I feel I can do anything," Cloud said between sobs. He buried his head against Zack's chest, wailing. "But I can't do it without you!" he cried.

"That – that's where you're wrong. Cloud," Zack gasped, coughing up blood. "You're strong enough to do this. To live. For both of us, live. Find Sky. Find…her. In Gongaga – Cissnei – has her - "

Cloud frowned, shaking his head. "I don't understand, Zack. Find _who_?" His head was pounding, and confusion was setting in once again. He held tightly onto Zack's hand, trying to focus, trying to keep himself fixed to the present.

"Find her. Protect her. Cloud," Zack pleaded. "Sky…my daughter…you need….to find her. You'll remember…I have…faith in you. You remembered my love for you – "

"Hey…take – the sword," Zack's chest heaved with the effort, and he hefted the handle of the buster sword toward Cloud, placing it firmly in his hand. As Cloud leaned down, Zack tugged lightly on his sweater. "One last kiss," he whispered hoarsely. "Please – "

Tears fell as Cloud's lips brushed over Zack's, softly, gently. "I love you…how could I forget, that I love you – "

"It's…not your fault," Zack rasped. He was short of breath, and he knew now the end was near. "Don't blame yourself. Just – promise me. Take the sword. Find my daughter. Our daughter…she's yours now. My life, my love – everything I am, it's yours. Live…for both of us, just live."

"No, I can't do this without you - " Cloud's eyes were brimming with tears as he knelt over Zack, gripping the handle of the massive sword. "Zack, don't leave me! _I love you_!"

But Zack's eyes were already half-lidded, a great smile on his face as he reached skyward toward some unseen vision only he could see. "You can do this. I love you too, Cloud," he whispered hoarsely. "Always and forever…from this life…and into the next one. I'm sorry I have to go. There's someone who wants to see me."

 _…Angeal. We meet again. I'm sorry about…your sword. I've left it with a friend. He'll take good care of it, I promise._ Zack smiled once more at Cloud and waved his hand weakly. "I love you…Cloud." Zack's head rolled to the side as the light left his eyes, and Cloud knew then that he was gone.

"No!" Cloud screamed. The skies opened up and it began raining hard, as if the heavens themselves were weeping in agony. "I'd do anything…anything…don't take him…take me instead! _Take me_!" Cloud shouted, his throat raw as he bent over Zack's dead body, quietly sobbing.

 _I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't ready to say goodbye._ Cloud repeated the mantra over and over in his head until he wanted to scream. He knelt over Zack, hugging his arms to his body as he shivered, his skin chilled from the falling rain. The nausea and confusion returned, and soon Cloud found himself in the same mental fog from earlier. He stood shakily and grabbed the handle of the buster sword, struggling with it briefly as he slowly walked away from the carnage.

He began breathing in time with his steps, and replaced the previous mantra with a new one, hefting the sword over his shoulder as he walked through the barren landscape, toward Midgar proper.

_I am Cloud Strife of Nibelheim. I'm a former SOLDIER, First Class. And I'm going to Midgar._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: This is the END of the main section. Epilogue to come.


	31. Epilogue:  Memories Can't Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, everything comes full circle; but we never forget those who went before us, even when we look forward to the future.

_Everything is very quiet_  
Everyone has gone to sleep  
I'm wide awake on memories  
There memories can't wait

**Memories Can't Wait - Talking Heads**

* * *

It was a Monday morning, and Reno generally hated Monday mornings. Truth be told, he hated most mornings in general, but Mondays were the worst.

He was barely into his second cup of coffee when Tseng's voice sounded on the speakerphone sitting on Reno's desk. "Reno...I have an assignment for you. Come into my office, please."

Reno sighed, gulping the remaining dregs of his coffee before responding. "All right, boss. Should I go and get Rude?"

Tseng paused for a moment before answering. "No, Reno. This assignment is for you only."

"Oh. Okay, then. Be right there," Reno replied, shrugging his shoulders. It was odd for Tseng to be sending Reno on a solo mission, but he wasn't about to argue with the Director, either.

Reno sauntered into Tseng's office and flopped into one of the overstuffed leather chairs, facing him. "What do you have for me, sir?" Reno asked, stretching out his legs slightly.

"There is a package that needs to be delivered," Tseng replied, reaching into his bottom desk drawer.

"A package?" Reno grumbled. "I'm not a delivery service. You should contact Cloud for this, I know he needs the work - "

"The package in question is _for_ Cloud," Tseng explained patiently. He sat the box upon his desk blotter; it had been repackaged within official-looking Shinra packaging. Within the outer box, behind the layers of yellow-and-black tape marked "SEALED", was what appeared to be an ordinary looking shoe-box. Reno could ascertain that much through the small, see-through plastic window of the box emblazoned with the Shinra logo, that it was a box that one housed a pair of SOLDIER regulation combat boots - men's size fourteen.

"Oh...I see," Reno said, his voice dropping. He put two hands on the box, gripping it tightly before lifting it, clutching it to his chest as he stood up. "This isn't a pair of boots in here, is it," Reno asked, unable to even crack a smile at his own joke.

"No, it's not," Tseng replied. He sighed, and gave his second-in-command a sympathetic look. "We've recovered some of Zack's personal effects. Given your proximity to Cloud these days...I thought it would be best if you were the one to deliver the package to him."

"Thank you, sir," Reno murmured. His eyes threatened to spark with tears as he remembered that fateful day. The day he and Rude had returned, as had Cissnei, empty-handed. They hadn't been able to find Zack and Cloud, and by the time Reno would see Cloud again - Zack would have long passed into the Lifestream.

"If only things had gone different that day," Reno remarked, shaking his head. Tseng nodded, folding his hands and pressing his lips down to the knuckles, contemplatively.

"We did our best, Reno," Tseng assured him. " _You_ did your best. Never doubt that. You may take the rest of the day off if you wish...after you deliver the package."

"Okay," Reno replied, nodding. "I mean - thank you. Might be a good idea, I don't know how Cloud is going to take this."

* * *

"Cloud? Clouuuud...where are you? Ready or not, here I come!" The little black-haired girl was giggling as she tiptoed around the apartment, searching behind furniture, inside closets, and behind doors. It was a rainy day, and she and Cloud were playing hide-and-seek when their plans to go to the playground had been foiled by the weather.

Cloud held his breath from his hiding place - he'd scuttled underneath the king-size bed in the master bedroom. _Gods, it's dusty down here...I thought Reno said he vacuumed the bedrooms yesterday?_ Cloud thought, horrified as his nose suddenly twitched under the threat of a sneeze.

He could not hold it back, and sneezed loudly, and even though he tried hard to muffle the sound, Cloud knew he'd been found when he heard a shriek of laughter from down the hallway. Moments later he felt tiny hands tugging at his boots, trying to pull him out from his hiding space.

Cloud scooted out from underneath the bed and smiled up at the girl. "Sky...you found me!" Cloud exclaimed in mock surprise.

"You're not a very good hider, Cloud," Sky admonished him, grinning. It felt like a blow to the gut, every time Cloud saw that girl smile; there was so much of her Zack in her features that there was no denying who Sky's father was.

 _And to think I forgot who Zack was, more than once, even,_ Cloud mused thoughtfully. _Then I forgot all about Sky, until I got my memories back._

"I know I'm not," Cloud deadpanned, smiling at Sky. "Hey...come here. Want a hug?" he offered, squeezing the girl tightly in his arms. Sometimes it even felt as he was holding some part of Zack, whenever Cloud hugged Sky.

_Perhaps I am holding some part of him...his heart. I'll never stop watching over her, Zack...I promise._

"Cloud? What's wrong?" Sky asked him, her big blue eyes looking up at Cloud. She looked so much like Zack that Cloud felt an ache in his chest. Despite the constant reminder of his lover who had died so many years ago, Cloud couldn't imagine his life without Sky in it. She had grown into a precocious, fun-loving eight-year-old who was just as headstrong and determined - and loving - as her father had been. It comforted Cloud in a way too, seeing part of Zack live on in this little girl he'd come to see as his own daughter, though Cloud had not yet officially adopted her.

Cissnei had been the one to raise Sky in secret all these years; having been a Turk gave her the insight and ability to stay under the radar of both Turks and Shinra, though Tseng had played a large part in keeping Sky's true identity and whereabouts under wraps. After Meteorfall, with the establishment of the WRO, Cissnei felt it safe to come forward, and sought out Cloud, who had been searching high and low for Sky once he'd regained his memories, and his fragmented mind began to mend.

 _Wonder when Reno's coming home._ Cloud smiled at Sky, ruffling her hair a bit as he thought about the lanky, redheaded Turk who had quite unexpectedly captured his heart, even when Cloud had vowed he would never love anyone again, not in the same way he loved Zack.

Of course, Cloud loved Reno differently than he'd loved Zack; they were entirely different men, and the relationships began differently in each case. With Zack, it really had been love at first sight, when Cloud looked back on it. Falling in love with Reno - that had been a slow burn. They began as enemies, morphed into somewhat-friends, and eventually that friendship turned into something much more.

Sky looked up as she heard the jangling of keys in the door, and a smile broke out across her face. "Reno's home!" she announced, happily skipping through the living room to answer the door. Cloud followed along behind her, smiling. As Reno entered, a box tucked under his arm, the first thing Cloud noticed was how tired and sad the Turk looked. It was in opposition to his normal happy-go-lucky nature, and Cloud wondered if Reno had been sent on a particularly difficult mission that day.

"Something wrong?" Cloud asked his lover. Reno sighed and shrugged, giving Cloud a quick yet tender kiss on the lips.

"I'll tell you in a minute," Reno promised. His gaze turned over to Sky, who was hugging his leg, and he laughed. "Hey...get off of me, you little monkey," he teased.

Sky stuck her tongue out at Reno and blew a raspberry. "I'm not a monkey! _You_ are," she retorted.

"Reno can certainly climb like one," Cloud interjected, chuckling. Reno shot him a look.

"As usual," Reno said dryly, lofting an eyebrow, "you two are ganging up on me."

"But we love you!" Sky reminded him, laughing goofily as she poked at the box under Reno's arm. "What's in here? Is it a present?" she asked hopefully.

"Kind of," Reno said, and he gave Cloud a serious look. "Listen, Sky - I need to talk to Cloud for just a minute. Why don't you fire up one of our video games, and I'll be right there in a few minutes. You did your homework?"

"Okay," Sky replied, nodding. "Yeah. I did all my stuff. Cloud helped me with my math homework."

"Good girl," Reno smiled at Sky as she bounded off, blue-black hair flying out behind her in long, crazy tufted spikes. "Every day...she looks more and more like him, you know?" Reno observed. "She's got some of her mother in her too."

"I know," Cloud said softly. "Sometimes it hurts to look at her, even. So...what _is_ in the box, Reno?"

"It's for you, actually," Reno replied, trying to keep his voice steady. "Tseng sent it home with me. It's...some of Zack's stuff."

"How..." The blood ran out of Cloud's face, and he took the box from Reno's hands, running his finger along the sealed edge. "How did you find this?"

"I don't know the details, really," Reno replied. "Tseng just asked me to bring it to you personally."

Cloud had a hollow feeling in his chest as he held the box tightly. "Thank you. If you don't mind...I think I'm going to our room for a bit, to go through this."

"Of course," Reno said quickly. "I understand, Cloud. If you need me...just holler. Going to play some games with Sky."

"Okay," Cloud said, brushing his hand over Reno's back. "Thank you." He felt the blood rushing to his head, face flushing as he headed toward the privacy of his bedroom to go through the contents of the box.

Shutting the door behind him, Cloud sat upon the bed, and took out a pocket knife to break the tape-seal of the outer box. He shook the clear plastic box and dumped the inner box on the bed, smiling as he recognized the boot style and shoe size as being Zack's.

"Size fourteen," Cloud murmured, quietly chuckling. "And you know what they say about feet, Zack." He removed the lid and reached inside, pulling out an assortment of faded photographs, ticket stubs, and two yellowed sheets of notepaper that had been folded over into a square. Cloud gasped as he read the words that had been hastily written on the outside in Zack's loopy script.

 _For Cloud Strife, in the event of my death_ , and _For Sky Fair-Strife, in the event of my death_

Cloud's hands shook as he unfolded the note with his name on it. He wouldn't open Sky's note; that was for her eyes alone, and he would make sure she was the one to open it and read it, if she was ready.

He could hear Zack's pleasant, happy voice in his head as he began to read the note silently to himself.

_Dear Cloud,_

_I'm writing this while you're asleep. You're sleeping a lot lately, and it has me worried. You've got Mako additction really bad; you're getting more and more confused, and weaker. You're doing more sleeping than anything lately, barely eating, and I know I need to get you somewhere safe. I just don't know how to do that when we're both wanted for crimes we didn't even commit. I could take you to a hospital, but they'd probably kill you on sight rather than treat you. I hope I'm making the right decision by hiding out here with you. I'm praying that you live through this, and that you don't die because you didn't get the proper medical care. Gods, I'd never forgive myself if that happened._

_I just want you safe, and I want you happy. I want our old lives back, and I want the old Cloud back. I know he's in there somewhere, that stubborn, quietly determined man I fell in love with. Sometimes you remember exactly who I am, but it's just for a few fleeting minutes. I hang onto those little moments of time, hoping that the next time you remember me for a few minutes longer._

_I don't know how much time we have left, because from what Cissnei told me, the entire Shinra army is gunning for us. But the promise I made to you still holds true. I will protect you and defend you - to the death if I have to._

Cloud stopped reading and crushed the paper to his chest, a choking sob escaping. Blinking away stubborn tears, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and kept on reading.

 _I don't even know if you'll ever read this letter - or if anyone will ever read this letter - if I don't make it out of this alive. Maybe it'll get lost, like so many other little things. I told Cissnei about the stuff I left back in Midgar, in a safe deposit box in Headquarters. Just some little bits_ _and pieces of our life together. You know what a packrat I can be, right? When the world seemed like it was crashing down around us - right after Genesis defected - I started gathering up all these little things. I wanted to keep them some place safe, so I talked to Cissnei about it. She was the one who suggested the safe deposit box. So I put a few things in there for you to remember me by. Some menus from our favorite restaurants - maybe some of them are still around, yeah? There's a few ticket stubs from movies and concerts we went to - remember that zombie movie marathon in the theater on Loveless Avenue? I remember we were laughing so hard at how bad some of the movies were, that we almost got thrown out. Man, I miss those times, Cloud. I miss just being with you. It hurts sometimes, to look at you. To look at you staring back at me as if I'm a stranger._

_Mostly I've left a bunch of pictures of both you and me. Remember that camera I got you? That's in here too. I kept the memory card with it, but I printed out my favorites. My old cell phone is in here too, there's pictures on that as well. What the hell am I going to do with a cell phone now? The world is after us, and I know they'll catch up with us eventually. But first they have to catch us._

_I miss Sky. I never thought my heart would ache so much, especially for a little girl I barely know. But I guess it's different when it's your own kid. Cloud, I want you to find her some day; if you haven't already whenever you read this note. I left her with Cissnei a few days ago, in Gongaga, but I don't know if they're staying there permanently. I'm going to write a note to Sky now, too. With any luck, she won't be reading this for a very long time; not until after I've lived a long life with you and Sky - my family - and die a happy old man._

_I could go on about how unfair all of this is - and it is. It seems like the world is against us right now. All I ever wanted was to live our lives, to love you, and to watch you fulfill your dream of becoming SOLDIER. You always had what it took, Cloud. I believe in you, even when you don't believe in yourself._

_I'm going to write that note to Sky now, so I guess I'll finish off here and just remind you how much I love you. Someday you'll remember, Cloud. If I don't make it for some reason...take care of my little girl. Take care of Sky._

_I love you always,_

_Zack_

Cloud's face was streaming with silent tears, and he lay his head down upon the pillow, trying to muffle his broken sobs. He had to let it out, he knew he couldn't bottle it up any more than he had, but he didn't want to upset Sky. Cloud could hear them in the other room; Reno and Sky, laughing and teasing each other as they played video games.

"Zack.." Cloud's voice croaked, and he sighed. _Zack...I do remember. I wish I could talk to you again. I found her...I found Sky. I hope you know that she's happy, and she's safe. She's with me and Reno now._ Cloud smiled, suddenly picturing Zack's broad grin, hearing his joyful laughter.

"This is crazy...but I feel like you can hear me," Cloud muttered, shaking his head before retreating back into his internal monologue. _Yeah...me and Reno. I bet you're having a good laugh over that one. I didn't want to date him - didn't want a relationship, even, not after you died. But Reno, as you know, can be quite persistent. It took me a long time to remember who he was, after my mind got all messed up from the Mako. I thought he was just a Turk - the enemy. And we were, for a while, when I was with AVALANCHE. On opposite sides, always trying to kill each other. I don't know when it happened, or how...but Reno told me one night how he blamed himself for your death. The Turks had been looking for us, I guess - under Tseng's orders, they were to bring us back alive. And by the time Cissnei was able to tell them where she had seen me - near Gongaga - we'd already made it onto the ferryboat to Junon, with that old guy._

_By the time the Turks caught up to me - I'd crashed through the roof of Aerith's church, with no memory of you, or anything else. I'd reinvented myself as Cloud Strife, First Class SOLDIER. In a weird way, I did remember you - I just took all those things I loved so much about you, and made it part of my own personality. Your strength, your cockiness, your loyalty. Though Barret tells me I was a major asshole when he hired me as a mercenary. Yeah, I hear you laughing, Zack. Thanks a lot._

Cloud was starting to feel better, 'talking' to Zack in this fashion, though part of him was starting to think that maybe he really _was_ a little bit crazy - and that maybe it was okay if he was. He eyed the pile of photographs, and the note that was addressed to Zack's daughter.

 _ **Our** daughter._ Cloud could hear Zack correcting him, and he laughed. "Yeah. It's time that Sky got to meet her father, I think." Cloud tiptoed back out into the living room, where a bunch of squealing and giggling was going on - Reno and Sky were in the middle of a massive tickle fight, the video game long abandoned.

"No! Not my feet! Sky, no, pleeeeeease! Don't touch them, yo, they smell!" Reno shrieked, sending Sky into gales of hysterical laughter. They stopped when they saw Cloud standing there, smiling at them. Reno saw how red-rimmed Cloud's eyes were, and knew he'd been crying his heart out.

"You okay?" Reno asked, sitting up. Cloud shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, then nodded.

"Cloud...were you crying?" Sky inquired perceptively. Cloud nodded his head again, taking a seat on the sofa. He patted the seat next to him, inviting her to sit, while Reno stood up, scratching his head awkwardly.

"If you want me to leave - " Reno began, but Cloud interrupted him.

"No, Reno...I want you to stay," Cloud said firmly. "We're a family, right? The three of us." He cocked his head at Sky, and she nodded vigorously.

"Of course!" Sky replied, as Reno took a seat next to her. "But why are you sad?"

"Well," Cloud began. "You remember all the things I told you about your father, Zack?"

"Yes," Sky replied. "Auntie Cissnei told me some stuff too, before she vanished."

"Yeah," Cloud murmured, and he saw Reno flinch at the mention of Cissnei. The former Turk had gone missing on a mission and it was another thing Reno blamed himself for. "Well...your dad left you this note. He left me a note too, and I read it already. Some of it made me sad, and that's why I was crying. Because I miss him. I miss him a lot."

"You loved him very much," Sky said knowingly, taking the notepaper from Cloud and unfolding it. She read it in silence for a few minutes and smiled. "I knew it," she said cryptically. "I knew it was him."

"You knew what was him?" Cloud asked, confused. He looked to Reno who appeared just as bewildered, shrugging his shoulders.

"He said in the note, that even if he couldn't be with me...he would watch over me at night when I slept," Sky continued. "And now I know, that he's the wind that comes into my room, and pulls my blankets up tight around me, if I get cold in the middle of the night."

"He - he did what?" Reno blurted. "You're not...scared of ghosts, are you?"

"Of course not!" Sky laughed. "Why should I be scared when the ghost is just my daddy looking over me?"

Reno's mouth fell open at that, and Cloud's hands were shaking as he pulled out the pile of photographs, going through them one by one with Sky. "This one...this was taken when your dad and I first met. I was a cadet, and he was in SOLDIER - but you know that already..."

"He was very handsome," Sky said admiringly. "Aw, Cloud - you look so cute in your uniform!" Cloud blushed and Reno grinned.

"Yeah, he did. Cloud looks good in _any_ thing, though," Reno said, winking at Cloud and waggling his eyebrows at him.

"You're impossible," Cloud told Reno, but he was smiling. "Hey...Sky. Maybe we could put all this stuff in a scrapbook," he suggested. "So you can look at the pictures of your dad whenever you want."

"Oh, that would be really nice!" Sky replied happily, beaming. She hugged Cloud, then went over to hug Reno. "But leave some pages blank. For all the new memories and stuff," she added.

"New memories," Cloud echoed. He moved further down the sofa to sit closer to Reno, and grabbed his hand. He held his hand, palm side in, toward Reno's, matching up their fingers together. Cloud secretly envied Reno's long, elegant looking fingers; hands that belied his profession as a Turk. Cloud's fingers were shorter, thicker, as were his hands. Reno stared at their hands joined together, mesmerized for a moment as he drank it in, how right it felt to be here; to be with Cloud, though the paths that had intertwined to bring these two lives together had been anything but linear. _Fate is a funny, fucked up thing,_ Reno thought as he moved his hand against Cloud's stroking his palm.

"I know you were hurting too, Reno...after Dill died," Cloud said softly. "It never goes away, does it?"

"No, it doesn't," Reno agreed. His mouth crinkled up into a smile, and he leaned in to kiss Cloud, a hand reaching up to stroke his hair. "And some days it hurts more than others," he added. "I'm betting today is one of those days for you."

"It's hard," Cloud replied, shrugging his shoulders. "But there's more good memories than bad, really...and I've got photographic proof of that right here." Cloud smiled as he watched Sky thumbing through the photos, turning them over to read Zack's handwritten notes on each one.

"We'll make new memories," Reno declared positively. "The three of us, together."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: On THAT note...this is really the end of my tale, three years in the making. Thank you so much, to everyone who ever commented, read, reviewed, offered beta help or simply gave me a fave or kudos. I've enjoyed writing this story; it really and truly came from the heart, and I hope that shows.
> 
> And now that this epic project is over...I think I might actually cry! Thanks again, to all of my readers and supporters. I couldn't have done it without you.


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